"Dude – no way!"

"Yeah." I smiled.

Linux scowled at me.  "You're bein' a jerk – lying to me about stuff.  I thought we were friends!"

"We are friends!  I'm not lying – I swear!"

"I…  I still don't believe you.  You're makin' it up-"

"Linux, no!  I wouldn't lie to you, I promise.  You're the first friend my own age I've ever had and I swear I'm telling you the truth!"

He looked at me doubtfully.  "I dunno…"

"Listen – have you ever heard me lie in all the time I've known you?  It's been over a minute!"

"But…  How?  I mean, we just got here!  I haven't even talked to a girl yet!"

"I know – cool, isn't it?"

Linux stared at me, hard.  "Enzo, if you're lying about this I swear I'll never, ever be your friend again.  You gotta swear – swear on your sister's life!"

I held up my hand, palm open.  "I swear on Dot's life that I actually kissed a real live girl today."

"On the lips?"

"On the lips!"

"Dude…"  He bounced onto the bed next to me at last.  "I can't believe it – you're a God!  You're the User!"

"Stop it!" I giggled. 

"Who was it?"

"Lisa Jobs."

"Lisa?  That girl with the teal skin and blond hair?"

"Yeah!  You know her?" 

"Well – I know who she is.  She's in my COBOL class.  I heard some girls talking and one of them called her Lisa.  Enzo – she's a babe!"

"Yeah – I guess."  I felt an odd emotion in my processor and I couldn't identify it for a nano, and then I placed it – jealousy.

"Serious babe."  My jealousy didn't last too long – Linux looked real down all of a sudden and I just felt sorry for him.  "Man – I can't believe you got to first base and we haven't even started our second minute yet."

"Uh..."  All of a sudden I felt very dumb.  "What?"

"You know – first base.  Sucking face."

"Oh!  Yeah." 

My expression must have showed how clueless I was – I guess I'm not a very good actor, 'cause Linux laughed.  "Sometimes I forget you never had any other kids to hang around with!  First base means kissing on the lips."

"Really?"

"Sure.  First base is sucking face, second base is-"

"Dude – don't tell me.  I don't think I'm ready to hear that right now.  I still almost faint every time I think about kissing her!"

"Man, Enzo…"  Linux just stared at me looking awed and shaking his head.  "What was it like?  How did it happen?  Tell me everything!"

"Um.  I dunno, I never really planned to kiss her or anything – I just did it, real quick.  Without thinking about it.  'Cause I was so hyped about punching Zip and everything."

"Was it high density?"

"Actually – it sucked!  I didn't know what I was doing and it lasted like a millionth of a nano and my lip hurt from where Zip hit me and afterwards I tried to run away."

"No way!"

"Yeah." I sighed.  "But she didn't let me – she made me stay and talk, and then we took a walk and then we sat down and we talked some more –girls like to talk, I think - and she told me she knew right away she wanted me to be the first boy she kissed."

"No way!"

"Yeah – alphanumeric, huh?"

"Then what happened?"

"Well, we talked about Mainframe and about the fight and stuff, and then she said she wanted to kiss me again."

"Were you nervous?"

"Naw – I was way cool.  I knew what I wanted, and I knew what she wanted – me!  So we finally kissed and we did it real slow this time, and…  Crash!  I can't even explain it."

"Try!  Dude, I gotta know – what's it like?"

"I can't, Linux – I just can't.  It was better than anything – better than games, even.  It was amazing and pixelacious and I can't wait to try it again.  You'll have to do it to know what I mean."

"Man – you suck!" Linux growled.  "Like I'm ever gonna do it…"

"You will!  And it'll be high density."

"I doubt it.  I still can't believe it – you are definitely the man, Enzo."

"Thanks." I giggled.  It was the first time I'd ever been called that, and it felt nice.

So that was my conversation with Linux at the end of maybe the craziest cycle of my life.  It seemed pretty innocent at the time – no big deal, just interfacing with a friend.  And maybe even learning a couple things I never knew.  But the biggest thing I was gonna learn from that conversation wasn't gonna happen till the next cycle, and I was totally unprepared for it.  Like usual.

Linux tagged along with me when I went into Gallifrey town to meet Lisa for lunch.  I felt kinda bad that he couldn't hang around with us – I know he wanted to and it seemed like I was deserting him in a way.  He was my friend, but Lisa – well, I dunno if she was something else but I definitely knew I wanted that afternoon to be just the two of us.

I'd had Bob to help me the first couple cycles, and now I'd met an amazing girl just because I was butt-lucky.  Linux had pretty much been on his own the whole time here except for me.  So I asked him to come with when I went to meet Lisa because I knew he wanted to talk to her and because at least that way, he wouldn't feel totally left out.  I promised myself I'd spend more time with him during the minute and thought for a nano how odd it was for me to be having those kinds of worries about someone else.

So my reasons for bringing him were good reasons, honest – I was really trying to be a good friend, but that doesn't seem to make a difference when something is gonna bite you in the ascii, as I was learning.  I was learning all sorts of things at the Academy, but most of them weren't in class.  I guess it's all part of growing up.

I'd arranged to meet Lisa outside the little pizza place where I'd eaten with Bob, and me and Linux got there first.  I found myself getting nervous all over again waiting for her, like she was gonna just not show up and yesterday had all been a dream – or she'd woken up and thought about it and said, "Why in the net did I kiss him?" and come to her senses.  So naturally the first thing I felt when I saw her was relief.

I felt all sorts of other things right after that.  She looked incredible – she was wearing a short ruffled blue skirt and a little fuzzy sweater that were definitely not regulation Academy issue.  I had that weird feeling I'd had when I first saw her, that there was no one else in the net, just her and me.  She looked like everything desirable and wonderful and perfect a 1.4 girl could possibly be.

"Hey." She grinned when she saw me, and held out both her hands, palms-down, which I'd never seen anyone do before.  I took the hint and grabbed them in mine, and just held them for a nano and smiled at her and they felt wonderful and cool and soft.  "What's processing?"

"Not much." I sighed.

"You feeling OK?  How's your tummy?"

I blushed.  "Uh – fine.  I have a little bruise, but it's not ruptured or anything."

"And everything else?  Poor Enzo…"

"Fine, honest!  I'm cool."  Lisa turned her smile to Linux and I realized with a shock that he was there, standing next to me.  "Oh!  Sorry, this is Linux.  He's my roommate."

"Hi Linux."  Lisa disengaged one hand from mine and held it out to him.

"Uh…  Yeah.  Um – Hi.  Oh, jeez…"

"How are you liking the Academy so far?"

"What?"

"The Academy.  Are you having fun?"  Linux wasn't doing too well – he didn't seem to be able to make his mouth work, and he hadn't held out his hand to shake hers.  She finally gave up and let her arm drop to her side.

"Oh!  Yeah, it's very c-cool.  Um.  Oh, wow!"

Lisa squinted at him.  "How nice."

"So…  I guess we'll see ya later, huh Linux?"  I couldn't think of a nice way to do it, under the circumstances, but I desperately wanted to be rid of him.

He turned to me like he'd forgotten I was there, just like I had him.  "Sorry!  Yeah, see ya.  I guess…"  He smiled awkwardly, tripped over his feet and turned away.  Lisa gave him a little wave as he walked off, looking back over his shoulder.

"So, um – should we eat now?" I smiled.

Lisa was not smiling.  She looked at me so fiercely that I think I actually flinched.  "What makes you think I'd want to have lunch with you?"

"What?"

"How dare you?"

"What?  I'm…  What??"

"Just…  Just log off!"  She spun and started off at a brisk walk.

I stared after her for a nano, too stunned to move.  Finally I rumbled forward and trotted after her.  "Lisa – wait!"

"I could delete you, Enzo Matrix.  I really could."

"What?  What is it?"  All of a sudden she was like a web creature, someone totally strange and frightening and terrible that I could never understand in a million hours.

"Leave me alone!"  She didn't stop walking.

Finally I caught up with her and put my hand on her elbow, which she promptly swatted away.  "Ow!"

"Get crashed, Enzo."

"Why?"  I whined.  "I'm sorry, whatever I did!"

She stopped and turned that stare at me again, and I felt about as high as her ankle.  "You told him, didn't you?"

"What?"

"Answer me!"

"I don't-  I know what…"  Then it hit me, what she was referring to.  "Uh-"

"You did!  Ooh, I could just- just-"

"I'm sorry!"  I wondered for a nano if Mouse had been wrong about my stomach rupturing – it sure felt like it had at that nano.

"How could you, Enzo?  How could you?"  She started away again.

"Please don't go!  Wait, please!"

"Log off."

"Wait!"  I got in front of her and walked backwards, on my heels.  "Please don't go – let me explain, crash it!"

I could see the faintest hint of hesitation in her eyes for the first time.  "Enzo, I swear I could delete you…"

I was still walking backwards, trying to stay in front of her, and I tripped and sprawled on the ground.  "Ow!  Lisa, don't!  Look – let's sit down over there and talk for a nano, let me explain!"

"Enzo-"

"Please?"  I rolled to my feet and dragged her over to a bench. "Please, please don't go!  Just let me explain, for User's sake!"

She sighed deeply, shook her head at me and sat down.  "How could you?"

"Thank you!" I sighed.  "Lisa, I didn't-"

"I thought you were different, Enzo!  But it turns out you're just another guy, doesn't it?  Did you have fun bragging about me?"

"It wasn't like that!  Honest it wasn't!"

"I thought you were the sweetest boy, Enzo, I really did…"

"I am!  I swear – I'm nice!  I- I didn't…"

"Why did you tell him, Enzo?  Did you tell him you copped a feel, too?"

"No!" I gasped.  "Lisa, I'd never do that!  He…  He asked me what happened when I went to see you yesterday, that's all.  I didn't think I was doing anything wrong – it's just that I was so happy about meeting you and everything that I told him we kissed, it just came out."

"You're such a boy!  I thought you were so different."

"I'm sorry." I said softly.  "I didn't know it was wrong, Lisa – honest.  I've never been around other kids my whole life and I really didn't know – I thought it would be OK if I told him!  He's really nice, he won't tell anybody else I swear and I'm sorry.  Gimme a break, please!"

"Well, it wasn't OK." Lisa said in a low voice.  "You don't go around bragging, Enzo – haven't you ever heard of 'kiss-and-tell'?"

"No, I…  I guess I haven't."

"You haven't?"

"No." I sighed, feeling really dumb.  "I told you I'm a dork – I don't know anything about anything, I've never had any friends and I'm a freak."

"Oh, you are not!"  She shook her head again, but I could tell she was less mad now than she had been.

"I swear I'll never tell anyone anything, ever again.  I promise, Lisa!  And I'll make Linux promise not to tell anyone else we kissed, OK?  It's just that I was so happy and it was so amazing that I wanted to tell him and I didn't know it was wrong, honest I didn't!"

"Oh Enzo."  She frowned at me.  "You swear?  You'll never do it again?"

"No.  I mean yes!  I swear.  Please don't hate me, OK?  I'm really sorry and I didn't know and I'll never do it again.  I like you so much, Lisa, you're so amazing and I like you so much and I'm really sorry-"

"Enzo!"

"Sorry…"

"OK, OK." She sighed.  She smiled a little and squeezed my hand.  "I know you're sorry, it's all right."

"I am!"

"I know!"

"So – you won't leave and we can still be- You know…"   I wasn't sure what we were, but I didn't want us to stop being it, whatever it was.

"Yeah.  I really do like you, Cutie.  You really didn't know, did you?"

"No.  I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too.  I forgot how things were for you back home, I guess.  That wasn't very nice of me."  She grinned.  "You really are different than the other boys."

"I dunno.  Maybe.  I just know I really like you and you're pixelacious and I don't ever want you to be mad at me."

"Don't worry, I'm not mad."

"Good."

"I can't stay mad at you." She giggled.  "It's like being mad at a little kitten!"

"Lisa!  Stop it…"

She grabbed my hand again and pulled me to her and we hugged, and it was the most alphanumeric feeling in the net to be hugging her after I thought I was gonna lose whatever it was we were.  She rubbed my back with her hands and squeezed me tight.  "Poor Enzo…"

"Sorry." I whispered.

"I know, me too.  It's all right."

"Cool."  I squeezed her for a little while and smelled her hair and I hoped we'd never stop hugging, but finally we did and we sat there staring at each other and I wanted to kiss her but there were lots of people around and I didn't dare.

"You OK?" she said softly. 

"I'm hungry."

She laughed loudly.  "OK, Cutie – let's go have pizza then."  So we did.

After pizza we walked around the town a while and I bought Lisa a sundae with a little of the pocket money Dot and Bob had given me, and then we walked all the way back to campus holding hands.  I don't guess it would've been that hard for anyone to tell we were "fraternizing", whatever that means exactly, but it was hard to see how it was hurting anybody.  But we were still careful about it, I guess – we didn't kiss or hug in front of cadets or anything.

All I knew was that it was getting easier and easier to be with Lisa, and harder and harder to be away from her.  When we got back to the girls' dorm we stood out in front for a few nanos and I held both her hands and just thought about how amazing it was that this pixelacious creature actually liked me.  I looked around and saw that there were no other sprites nearby, and I slowly leaned forward until out foreheads were touching.  I just looked at Lisa's eyes and she looked at mine, and after a nano my lips were moving towards her mouth and we were kissing.  I held my lips to hers and just breathed, slowly, and felt my entire body catch fire. 

Like I said, I was learning stuff all the time but most of it was outside of school.  What I learned that cycle was that I was pitifully unprepared to have a girlfriend – and that's what I wanted Lisa to be, even if I didn't dare use the word yet - in every way.  I'd pissed her off and she'd almost deleted me and I didn't even know what I'd done was wrong.  What I didn't know about girls could fill up a terabyte drive and still spill over the edges.  Still could.  Maybe when you grow up it's different - I'll have to ask Bob and Matrix about that.  In the meantime I just had to hope she'd be patient with how stupid I was about all that stuff.

One thing I can promise – when I got home I told Linux that he could never tell anybody else about me and Lisa, no matter what.  He just said "Duh – I know that!" like I was stupid to even ask, but I made him promise anyway.

It was almost a relief to get back to classes after the minute-end being so exhausting.  Classes were something I could concentrate on, something basically simple and predictable and they were also the reason I came to the Academy, after all.

Mouse's class was starting to be a lot of fun – Linux and I sat next to each other at the back and we were the only ones who didn't completely take her seriously.  Everybody else was sort of in awe of her and terrified of her, and I can't really say I would've been different if I hadn't known her.

Her class was also fun because what we were learning was fun – Mouse seemed to know every trick in the book when it came to physical combat and it was her job to teach us.  I'd been bugging Matrix to teach me since the reboot and he didn't wanna teach me anything about combat for the longest time, so what I learned was mostly from Bob and being in games.  It felt good to finally be learning in a pretty intense way.

What Mouse taught us this cycle was about pressure points – places on a sprite where a while bunch of circuits were and if you hit them or pressed on them just right – wow!  You could really do a number on somebody, and it didn't even matter how big they were and how small you were, they went down like a sack of wet nulls.  She called Linux and me up in front of the class to demonstrate, which was a little scary at first but I thought about it for a nano and realized I'd fought for real in the rec room with a whole bunch of sprites watching, so this was really no big deal.

Having my last class with Linux was great, because we could walk back to the dorm together and talk about whatever had happened that cycle, or stop at the rec room and play games or just hang out and watch a vidscreen.  I was starting to get used to the idea that I didn't have to answer to anybody – I had places I was supposed to be and responsibilities, but as long as I showed up for class and did what I was supposed to, I was on my own the rest of the time, more or less.  That was very weird – scary and exciting at the same time.

We didn't stop in the rec room this time – we went straight back to the room and played floor soccer with a bar of soap and afterwards I was showing him another chord on my guitar when my organizer beeped at me.

"Homework." Linux groaned.

"It never beeped before when homework was downloaded, did it?"

"Huh!  No I guess not…"

I picked up my organizer and it was flashing at me, and I was about to access the assignments module when I saw a message on the main menu:  "Please report to the Headmaster's office immediately."  I stared it like a moron for a couple of nanos.

"What?  What is it?"

"Uh oh."

"What?"

I gulped.  "I'm supposed to go to Las-  I mean the Headmaster's office.  Immediately."

"Uh oh."

"Yeah.  Oh, man!  I hope I'm not in trouble – I just got here!"

"You think he found out about the fight?"

"I dunno." I groaned. 

"Or Lisa, maybe?"

"That's not even funny!  Man…"

"Maybe it's nothing – maybe he just wants to tell you how great you're doing or something…"

"Yeah, right.  This is bad – very bad."

"Well – you better go, he'll be even madder if you keep him waiting."

"So you do think he's mad?"

"Enzo!  Just go already."

"Yeep."  I took a deep breath and headed for the door.

"Enzo, wait!"

"What?"  Linux stared at me and didn't say anything.  "What?  What is it?"

"Nothing." He sighed.  "I…  I hope you're not in trouble."

"Thanks."  I took out my zip board and I was so flustered for a nano I couldn't even remember where Laser's office was.  I finally got my bearings and headed for the great hall.  Crash, I was feeling it big-time – I was sweating and my heart was pounding in my chest.  Laser can be a very scary guy, and I'd almost always had Bob around whenever I'd talked with him.  Now it was just me, and he might be mad.

All I could think was, how could I ever go back to Mainframe if I was expelled?  How could I face Dot and Matrix, AndrAIa…  And Bob!  How could I ever face Bob?  Everything I worried that they were thinking about me would be true – I was just a screw-up kid who couldn't get anything right, a basic washout who needed grown-ups to look after him.

"Hey, Enzo!"

I don't even know if I responded right away, I was so far into my own zone – but it hit me that someone was talking to me.  I stopped zipping and looked around.  "Huh?"

"Hey!"  I saw a flash of red hair.

"Patch?"  The girl from the game, the first-hour cadet.

"Yeah, you remembered!  What's processing?"

"Er – not much.  How about you?"

"Y'know – just trying to get adjusted and everything.  Um…  I was just gonna go have supper in the mess – you wanna come?"

I didn't want to be rude, but I was having a hard time making my processor focus on what she was saying. "I, uh- I can't.  Maybe another time, though."

"Oh!  Sure, no problem…"

"I've got a meeting with Laser." I sighed, zipping off towards the great hall again.

"Really?  What about?"  She was zipping right behind me.

"I don't know.  Nothing, maybe…"

"Maybe it's about your fight.  You think?"

"What fight?"  Patch hadn't been there, I was sure – it was in the boys' dorm, she couldn't have been!

She blushed, which was funny because it made her face match her hair.  "Umm…  The one with Zip."

"How do you know about that?"

"I heard."  She smiled a little bit.  "All the kids are talking about it."

"They are?"

"Sure!  You were so brave, Enzo – Zip and Calisto are total outputs!  I can't believe you stood up to them like that."

"Oh, man!"  It was nice to know people were talking about something besides me running around naked, but if all the cadets knew…

"I hope you aren't in trouble, Enzo.  It wasn't your fault!"

"Thanks.  I'm sure it'll be OK."  I tried to smile at her.  We were inside the great hall now, and I could feel Laser's presence like a giant hammer poised over my head.  "I gotta go.  I'll see ya."

"Good luck!"

"Thanks."  I waved to her and headed off down one of the hallways, trying to remember just where to go.  Bob said it was in the middle of the building, and all the hallways went out like spokes on a wheel…  Easy enough.  I followed one of the hallways all the way to the end and sure enough, there was Laser's office, at the center of everything.

Those last few steps were like I had ABCs attached to my legs.  I could barely get my feet off the ground, one after the other, as that door got bigger and bigger and I felt smaller and smaller.  I sent my mind out silently looking for Bob, trying to calm myself down so I wouldn't be a complete idiot when I got inside.

I stood outside the door for a few nanos, just taking slow, deep breaths like Bob told me and trying to get my fear and nervousness under control.  One of the things Bob said was that you couldn't make those things go away – they were natural, like breathing .  What you had to do was channel them – control them and use them for your benefit.  It sounds easy, but it's not – it's really hard, especially when you're standing outside the Headmaster's office.  At that nano, I'd rather have been just about anywhere else.