I was still thinking a lot about what Lisa told me for the rest of the evening, especially after I dropped her off back at the dorms and surfed home by myself. I should have been scared and I guess I was, a little bit. I didn't know much about Codemasters but I knew their reputation – they were bad motherboards, especially the ones from the web. The scariest thing was probably thinking about what Dot would do to me if she knew – I might never get to leave my room for the next hour.
But that didn't matter to me – none of it. I've always been pretty good about judging people – I think Matrix was right about how I connect with them emotionally. It's not like something I try to do – I just do it. I trusted my senses with Lisa – and they were screaming out loud and clear that she was a good sprite. It certainly wasn't fair to blame her for who her Dad was, and even he hadn't done anything terrible to anybody that I knew about. Well - other than walking out on her, which was pretty terrible when I thought about it. Still, I felt in my heart that she was good – I was only worried that I wasn't being totally impartial, that maybe Mouse had been right to worry about me that way.
I remembered to duck into the bathroom and wipe my cheek and my mouth and even my nose before I went back into the dorm - I didn't need any repeats of that little incident with Mouse. I was amazed how red the towel was – it was like I'd just lost a really bad fight. My lips were a little sore, too. I decided I could be brave and live with the pain.
I was headed for the elevator when I saw someone duck into one of the rooms down the hallway, and heard voices and laughing. That's when I suddenly remembered Quantum's invitation and checked my chronometer. It was twenty-nine-fifty. I started to feel a knot growing in my stomach.
It wasn't like I didn't want to be in there – I really did. The only parties I'd ever been to were the kind with clowns and games and stuff, and they were parties for me. The idea of going to a party with a bunch of big kids was really exciting, and if I wanted to fit in it was really important, too. But I was still scared thinking about it. I didn't have the faintest clue what to expect. For all I knew Quantum had invited me just so he and his friends could laugh at me.
I took a deep breath and walked over to the door – room 115, I remembered. I knocked - too softly again, which was a bad habit I was gonna have to work on – and waited a couple of nanos. The door opened and music spilled out and a red-haired guy with blue skin opened the door and stared at me. "Hey."
"Who ordered a shrimp cocktail?" the kid called out, and I heard laughter. I tried to laugh too, just to show I could take a joke.
I heard Quantum's voice next. "Is that Enzo out there? Let him in, move your ascii!" The other kid stepped aside and Quantum sauntered over. He grinned and stuck out his hand. "Hey, Kiddo. Welcome to paradise, otherwise known as Quantum's room. Don't mind this ugly output – he's just my roommate. C'mon in."
"Thanks!" I met his powerful grip with my puny one and walked into the room. There were about eight or nine guys there, all looking like older second-hours. Some music was playing pretty loudly, Bob-type music, guitar rock with a lot of bass that I could feel thumping in my chest. The air was hazy and the room was dimly lit and it was absolutely like no place I'd ever been before and a strange sort of exhilaration started to course through me.
"Chill out and relax, Little Man. If ya need anything let me know."
"Thanks." Quantum popped me on the shoulder again and I took another look around the room. I recognized a few faces but the only one I knew by name was Helix. He was sitting on the bed with a glass in his hand talking with another guy, and I waved and tentatively walked towards him. "Hi, Helix. What's processing?"
He looked a little surprised to see me at first, but then he smiled. "Hey, Sprout. Getting settled in OK?"
"Yeah, I guess. Thanks for showing me around and everything."
"NP. Have a seat." He gestured with his glass at the guy he was talking to. "This is Backslash. Slash, this is the kid I was telling you about, from the rec room."
"Hey." I said meekly, waving as I sat next to Helix on the bed.
"Hey. So you're the little guy that popped Zip, huh?"
"Oh, uh… I guess!"
Backslash and Helix laughed. "I wish I'd been there – I bet it was hilarious! Wish I'd seen the look on his face."
"He started it."
"Yeah." Helix giggled. "But you finished it, Kid. I've seen little guys crack from what those guys did to you – you got balls."
"Thanks, I guess. I'm still sore from where he punched me in the gut, though."
"No pain, no gain, Kid."
Quantum walked over and held a small glass out to me. "Here ya go, Little Man."
"Thanks." I sniffed it tentatively and wrinkled my nose. "What is it?"
"I/O shot, Sport. The nectar of kings."
My mouth dropped open. "Uh…."
"Go on, Kid – you'll like it. Never had one before?"
"Um – no, I guess not…"
"You kidding?" Backslash laughed. "He looks like he was on mother's milk till last minute!"
"No! I'll drink it, I just never- I don't-"
"Easy, Kid." Quantum patted me on the shoulder. "The trick is just to drink it down, quick. 'Boom!' One shot. That's why they call it an I/O shot."
"OK." I smiled. I took a look at the glass, closed my eyes and sighed. Dot chose that very nano to pop in my head. She didn't look happy. I slowly raised the glass until I felt it touch my lips, held it there for a nano, and tipped it back quickly.
The first thing I remember is my mouth and throat feeling like they were on fire. Then I remember hearing cheers, and then I was coughing for a couple of nanos and there were hands pounding my back. I gasped and opened my eyes, and Quantum and Helix were grinning at me. "G-good." I rasped.
"User, Sprout – you crack me up!" Quantum chuckled. He tousled my hair roughly. "I like you, Kid."
"Thanks." I gasped, still fighting for breath. He winked at me and disappeared back into the haze of the room. "Where… Where does he get this stuff?"
"In town. Easy as pi squared." Backslash said, reaching into his pocket. "So - I hear you came in with Guardian 452, huh?"
"Uh – yeah." My throat was still full of razor blades.
"And you know Mouse and Ray Tracer too?"
"Yeah. But I earned my way in here! Sorry… But it's just that everyone seems to think-"
"Don't get uncompiled, Kid – I'm just askin'. If you turned Zip's lights out you must have somethin' going on. Here ya go." He held out his hand.
"What's this?" I knew as soon as I asked – I recognized it from Al's Waiter. "A cigarette?"
"Sure, Kid."
"Oh, Crash…" A cigarette! Dot really looked mad now. I put it between my lips tentatively, and before I knew what was happening Backslash was holding up a lighter and the end of the cigarette was starting to glow and my lung was somewhere on the floor in front of me.
"Easy, Sport! Nice, slow, puffs. That's it."
"Cool." I wheezed. I could feel tears running down my cheeks. I couldn't believe people actually did this for fun. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve, and when I looked down I noticed my glass was full again. How did that happen?
"You're gonna do fine here, Sprout. Just get through the first semester and you'll be cool." Helix grinned. "I had my doubts about you when I first saw you, but you're OK."
"Thanks." I smiled back and took a small, careful puff on the cigarette. I held the smoke in my mouth for a nano and blew it out into the room. That was definitely better – but still disgusting. "Bob…has… taught me a…lot. He's amazing."
"Bob? Guardian 452?"
"He…likes 'Bob' better. You can…meet him…the next time…he's here."
"Cool." Helix held up his glass. "To Bob!"
"Er – to Bob!" I echoed, and clinked his glass with mine. He tipped his back and I reluctantly followed suit. "Ohhhhhhh, User…"
"You OK, Little Man?"
"Yeah." I nodded, and regretted it immediately. The burning wasn't as bad as the first time, but my head was starting to feel like it was full of air and the muscles in my neck didn't seem to want to work right. "I…I think."
After that things start to get a little blurry. I don't know how much longer I was there, but I don't think it was a real long time. I know I managed to ditch my glass before anyone could fill it up again, and after a couple more puffs on the cigarette I found an ashtray and dumped it in there. I talked to a few kids but even though I didn't drink any more, my head was feeling stranger and stranger.
Finally I felt a distinctly unpleasant feeling starting to grow in my stomach, and my head started to really hurt. It was hard to look at the room, because it didn't want to stay still. Looking at it made my head hurt worse and my stomach feel funnier and finally I realized that I had to leave and I had to do it quick.
I looked around desperately for Quantum and I finally found him over by the disc player. I wobbled across the room and patted him on the arm. "Um, Quantum? I… I have to go. Thanks for…asking me over."
He grinned down at me. "Feeling OK, Sport?"
"Yeah!" Talking wasn't easy – the sound of my own voice was making my head throb. "Just…tired. I'll see you… soon, K?"
"Yeah – thanks for comin' over." I managed a weak smile – I think - and headed for the door.
I had to really work hard to force myself not to run till I was outside, but I think I managed it. Once I was in the hallway I looked around but my head was full of fuzz and I couldn't remember where the bathroom was. It was like I'd never been in the building before. I took off down the hallway at a shaky gallop and passed by doors until I found the one that looked right and I tried to open it and it wouldn't budge, and it took me a nano to realize it wasn't the wrong door, I just had to palm my icon over the lock. I did, it opened, and I stumbled inside, found the nearest you-know-what and went down on my knees and puked my guts out.
I've thrown-up before – I guess most sprites have – but this wasn't like any of those times. I won't go into too much graphic detail but what came out of me smelled really bad – like I/O distillate and rotten food and I still had the smell from the cigarette on me and I got a good whiff of all of it and retched and then I barfed again.
This happened about four times and no one else came into the bathroom, thank the User. I finally stopped, I think mostly because I had nothing left inside me to puke up. After that I just knelt there a while 'cause I felt so exhausted I didn't think I could stand up.
All the time I was kneeling there, Dot's face wad inside my head, staring at me and shaking her head. She didn't look mad, either – she just looked really disappointed, and that was worse. I felt really disgusting and disgusted with myself at the same time. I'd broken some more rules, and I didn't even enjoy doing it. I mean, I did like being in that room with the big kids and Quantum and Helix being nice to me and all, but the I/O shots I could process without and the cigarette was even worse. I wasn't sure how I'd do it and still fit in with those guys, but I promised myself right there that I wouldn't put myself through that again for a long time. As much as I hate it, sometimes there are things you really are too young for and I/O shots and cigarettes were a couple of those things for me.
"Sorry. I'm really sorry." I said in a raspy voice even though no one else was there. Dot was – she felt real enough, and I thought I owed it to her. I stumbled over to the sink and rinsed my mouth out and splashed cold data on my face until I felt well enough to go upstairs to my room.
"Hey." Linux said as I walked in. He was already under his covers, playing a game on his organizer.
"Mmmf."
"Wow – you all right? You look like the inside of a null's stomach! Enzo?"
"Nuh." I grumbled, and fell face down on my bed. I didn't even bother to kick off my shoes or change or get under the blanket – I just wanted to lie there and go to sleep.
"What happened?"
"Nothing. Just tired." I mumbled. I actually felt a byte better than I had before I tossed my cookies, but that wasn't saying much.
"You smell, too."
"Sleep."
"You got hammered, didn't you?"
I managed to turn my head with a groan and stare at him. "What?"
"You got hammered! I've got two big brothers, remember? I know what hammered looks like. How'd it happen?"
"Oh, User…"
"How'd it happen, Enzo?"
"Quantum. Asked me to come to his room, there were a couple guys there. I/O shots. Want to die."
"A party, huh? Thanks for asking me."
"Sorry. I didn't think I could – next time I'll ask him, I promise." I wanted to feel bad for him, but at that nano I couldn't do anything but feel bad period.
Linux sighed. "Man – I bet it was cool."
"Was OK. I'm never drinking again - I feel awful. And the cigarette was worse…"
That seemed to make him feel better. "I/O shots are like the strongest drinks there are, Nullbrain! Did you barf?"
"Ugh. Yuh."
He nodded. "You'll feel better tomorrow because of that – that's what my brothers told me. Gets it out of your system or something."
"Good." I moaned. "I'm really sorry – next time I promise I'll ask Quantum to invite you. If he ever asks me again. But right now I just want to delete or go to sleep, OK?"
"Yeah." He giggled. "Go to sleep, that's your better option." I didn't need to be told twice.