Lisa wanted me to boost Linux' self-confidence, which was a good idea and sounded pretty easy – until I actually had to try and do it.  One thing I was discovering was that Linux didn't have a whole lot of self-confidence – even less than me in a lot of ways.  He was a little bolder than me about talking to people he didn't know and stuff like that, but he didn't follow it up very much and it almost seemed like he was doing it to cover something up about himself.  It's not like I'd been following him around or anything, but he hadn't seemed to make any friends that I knew about, besides me.

The whole next cycle I pretty much shadowed him whenever I wasn't in class, just talked to him and joked with him and tried to make him feel cheerful.  I even had lunch with him – I raced to the main mess and told Lisa my plans, and headed over to the boys' dorm where Linux liked to eat lunch.  It wasn't easy for me to skip lunch with Lisa – that meant having to go a whole cycle basically without seeing her, which was torture.  But I figured just this once I could survive it.

Like I said I spent the whole cycle with him, more or less, but I didn't have the nerve to bring up Patch until we were back in our room after hanging out in the rec room. By that time Linux was in a pretty good mood and he seemed to have forgotten most of what had happened at the pixels game and the pizza place.  He put on a disc – Talking Heads, I remember, 'cause I love that song "Up All Night" – and we sat on our beds and talked about stupid stuff and did homework and shot spitwads at each other. 

"Guess what?" I said after a while.

"What, Nullface?"

"I heard something you might be interested in."

Linux looked up.  "What?"

I'd thought carefully about how to say it – how I'd want to hear it, if it were me being told a girl liked me.  "You remember Patch, right?"

"Duh!"

"Sorry!  Well – I think she likes you."

He dropped his organizer and stared at me.  "Byte me.  You're lying."

"No way, Dude!  I saw her looking at you when we were at the pizza place, and-"

"She was looking at me 'cause I was knocking over everything on the table, Stupid!  I'm surprised she didn't laugh!"

"No!  Not only that – she was checkin' you out at the pixels arcade, too."

"You're basic." He scowled.  "She thinks I'm a null – when she notices me at all."

"Well, I'm pretty sure.  Do you like her?"

He sighed and shrugged his shoulders a little.  "Doesn't matter."

"C'mon – do you?  I think she's pretty cute."

"You think you're hot stuff just 'cause you got a girlfriend…"

"No!  I'm just curious, that's all.  If she asked you, would you go out?"

He hesitated.  "I…  I guess.  She's OK.  But it doesn't matter, 'cause she doesn't like me anyways."

"There's something else, too." 

"What?"

I smiled.  "Lisa sees her sometimes, y'know?  They have classes and stuff.  Lisa thinks Patch likes you, too.  I think Patch might've said something to her."

For the first time Linux actually started to look hopeful.  Then he looked cold again, like he'd crushed the idea before it got too big and he started to believe it.  "Dude, if you're lying to me I'll be so pissed at you!"

I felt a major stab of guilt and hoped it didn't show on my face.  I also hoped Lisa knew what in the net she was doing.  "Hey – I'm just telling you what Lisa said.  She thinks Patch likes you.  And she was checkin' you out at that arcade."

He stared at me for another nano.  "I don't know…"

"Whatever.  I think she does."

"I…  I figured she liked you."

I shrugged.  "We were in a game together, so I guess we're friends.  But I don't think she like me likes me."

"Maybe." He mused.  "So you think maybe I should ask her out?"

Panic!  "What – now?"

"Now, now, Output – it's almost lights out!  Maybe tomorrow?"

"Uh…  I'd wait a couple cycles if I were you." 

He glared at me suspiciously.  "Why?"

Crash!  I felt like deleting Lisa for getting me into this.  I pulled a phrase out of my bitmap from way deep in my memory somewhere.  "Uh…  I hear girls like it when you play hard to get."

"Who told you that?"

"Lisa.  Makes sense, you know?  I don't think they like it if a guy seems too eager.  Makes you look desperate."  Not a bad save, even if I say so myself.

"Yeah – I guess that makes sense.  So what should I do then?"

"Um – I don't really know.  I'm no expert!"

"But you've got a girlfriend, Dude.  So I guess that makes you more of an expert than me!"

Wow – it was pretty weird to hear that from someone else!   But I guess it was true, basic as it sounded.  Anyway, all I had to do was keep Linux from falling on his face before Lisa's dinner.  "Just be cool, I guess.  If you see her be nice to her and talk to her, but don't ask her out or anything right away.  Just, you know – be nice."

There was a knock on the door, and Linux and I stared at each other.  We didn't get people knocking on our door, ever.  My first thought was that it was Zip and Calisto and I was gonna get beat up, but that didn't make sense – why would they knock?  Then I thought maybe it was a teacher and I was in trouble again.

Linux' bed was closer to the door so he stood up and answered it.  I couldn't see who it was from my bed, but Linux got a surprised look on his face and didn't say anything.  Then I heard a voice I recognized.  "Enzo here?"

"Quantum?"  I leapt to my feet and dashed to the door.  He was standing there with a big grin on his face, and Helios and Quantum's red-headed roommate and a few other guys I didn't really know were standing behind him.  "Uh…  Hey!  Whassup?"

"Hey, Little Man.  Are you feeling bold tonight?"

I gaped at him what I'm pretty sure was stupidly.  "Um…  I guess so.  Why-"

"Do you have the heart of a lion?  Are you unstoppable?"

I looked over at Linux, who'd taken a couple of awed steps back at the sight of so many second-hours on our doorstep.  I turned back to Quantum and shrugged.  "Sure.  What's going on?"

Quantum smiled again and put his hand over his heart.  "Only a sacred rite of passage that has been passed from generation to generation of young men at the Academy since time immemorial.  A precious ritual dear to the heart of every Guardian who walks the net.  And every semester a Sprout is selected to share in this ritual so that he may pass it along to another generation, next hour.  Are you bold enough to be that sprite?"

I gulped a big mouthful of air.  "I…"

"Are you ready to take the next step, Enzo?  Are you ready to be a man tonight?"

"A…  A man?"  I glanced over at Linux again, only to find him staring back at me.  "Yeah…  I mean – Yeah!  I'm ready."

"Good.  Come with us, then."  Quantum whirled away.

"I don't have to drink anything, do I?"

"No – not tonight." Quantum chuckled.  "Come – let us away."

"Wait!"

"What is it, Sprout?  Why do you disrupt the sacred ritual?"

My mouth was totally dry, now.  "Can…  Can Linux come too?"

"Uh, Enzo – that's OK-"

"Please?  He's great, whatever it is he'll be cool I promise!  He wants to be a man, too!"

Quantum frowned.  "It is most irregular.  Normally only a single sprout is chosen to join the sacred ritual."

"Please?"

"Enzo, it's really OK, I'm-"

"Very well, then." Quantum nodded.  "Follow and learn, Sprouts.  Come."

 I grinned at Linux, who looked like he'd swallowed a null.  "Come on!"  I grabbed his hand and dragged him after the others.

"Enzo!" he hissed.  "What do you think-"

"Silence!" Quantum barked.  "While the ritual is in progress you shall not speak until you are commanded to."

"Sorry!" both of us peeped.  I was a little scared by what might be part of this 'ritual', but I had a big rush of adrenaline shooting through me too.  And the thought that I might get into trouble again was the farthest thing from my mind.  One thing I was sure of – I didn't want Linux to be left out again.  He didn't look so sure.

Quantum knocked on another door a little ways down our hall.  "Come Watson, come – the game is afoot!" He called softly.

The door opened, and a tall second-hour poked his head out.  "What do you mean, a foot?"

Quantum sighed and lightly slapped the guy on the forehead.  "Nullbrain!  Just come on."  The kid slipped out into the hall and fell into place with our little group.  Quantum led us a couple doors farther down the hall, and knocked again.  "The moment is nigh!"  Another older looking kid slipped outside, grinning.  It was becoming obvious to me that all these guys knew in advance about this – Linux and I seemed to be the only ones who didn't know what was going to happen.  That was a nervous thought, I have to admit. 

Linux and I sort of naturally settled to the rear of the pack, following behind the older cadets.  Quantum repeated the process of lightly knocking and calling out several times over the three floors, and by the time we were back at his room I counted fifteen of us.  None of the other cadets were in any of my classes, so it looked like Quantum was telling the truth about me and Linux being the only first-hours.

There was a kind of excited buzz running through the others, as they whispered and giggled and punched each other on the arm.  Linux and I sort of stayed a little apart from them and waited, nervously.  I had a rush of energy running through me and I couldn't stay still, but I was also scared.  Part of me would have definitely liked to have ran back to my room and crawled under the blankets, and judging by Linux' face I bet he felt the same way.  But there we were, and I had absolutely no idea what was going to happen.  All sorts of weird scenarios were playing out in my head.

So naturally, under the circumstances, I panicked a little bit when Quantum walked over and grinned, then proceeded to tie a blindfold over my eyes.  "Hey!  Stop it!"  I tried to reach up and rip it off, but someone had my hands behind my back.

"Chill, Little Man.  We'll take good care of you, don't worry."

"But-"

"Prepare yourself.  The nano is almost upon us."

"Crash!" I whispered.  I could hear Linux struggling next to me, and assumed he was as helpless as I was.  After my nightmare in the showers it was not a good feeling.  I wondered just what in the net I'd gotten Linux into.  I didn't detect any malice in Quantum's voice, but that was a small comfort when I couldn't see anything.

After a few nanos I heard Quantum say, "Ready?" and an affirmative response from the group. "Let's go!"  The hands behind me started gently pushing me and I stumbled forward.  Whoever was pushing me was aware that I couldn't see and didn't try to make me go too fast, but I almost fell a few times anyway.  Have you ever tried to run or even walk blindfolded?  It's not easy, I'll tell you that.

After a few nanos I felt cool air on my face and I knew we were outside, which for some reason made me even more afraid than I had been.  I heard occasional whispers and soft laughter from the cadets in front of me, but Quantum didn't say anything more to the group.  I kept stumbling forward, and the hands kept holding me up every time I almost fell.  I felt my feet on hard ground, then grass, then hard ground again.

Finally the hands grabbed my shoulders and I took that as a warning to stop, so I did.  I was breathing hard, even though we hadn't been going fast – walking blind was tough, and my heart was racing from fear and excitement.  I could hear Linux breathing hard too right next to me, and hushed voices from the others.  "Silence!" Quantum hissed.

I felt myself being turned to face a different direction than I had been, and then the hands left me and I was standing on my own and my elbow was bumping against what felt like Linux' – it was trembling - and there was silence, except for my breathing and my heart and there was something else, too - someone there, just in front of my face.  I could sense them more than anything else – I knew they were there, close.  The silence dragged on and every nano felt like a minute, but I didn't dare remove my blindfold.

Finally, mercifully, Quantum's voice broke the silence.  "Have you made your peace with the User, Sprouts?"

Neither Linux or I said anything right away, but it was obvious Quantum was waiting for an answer and the quiet was driving me offline.  "Yes." I whispered.

"Are you prepared to face the brutal realities of the net?  Are you prepared to leave your childhood behind and join the world of men?"

"Yes!"  I just wanted it to be over, whatever it was – the tension was making me want to pull my hair out.  The thought popped into my mind whether Lisa would still like me bald.  After a nano, Linux whispered a softer "Yes" From next to me.

"Very well then.  Prepare yourselves."

I felt the hands leave my shoulder and start to slowly untie the blindfold.  My heart was really in turbo mode now and there was sweat running down my face.  I felt the knot give but the hands held the blindfold was held in place for a nano, then two.  Then it was yanked away with a whipping noise and as my eyes adjusted to the darkness I saw a hairy, ugly face right in front of me and gave a little scream and I heard Linux do the same, except a little louder.

"Silence!"

"Quantum?" I gasped.  It was his voice behind the face – which I could now see was a werewolf mask, like from "Dead Before Dawn" or something.  A laugh rose from the rest of the group and as I stood there, trembling all over, I looked around and saw that all of them were wearing masks – dog masks, null masks, you name it.  And they were all laughing.

Even Quantum was chuckling behind his werewolf mask.  "Here!"  He reached out his hand, and what he was holding was a monkey mask.  I took it from him and stared at it as he handed a kitty-cat mask to Linux.  "Don your helmets, Gentleman – our task is upon us."

I inferred from that he wanted me to put the mask on – so I did.  You could see OK through the eye holes, and the first thing I saw was Linux in the kitty mask and that made me laugh, even though I was still a little scared and totally confused.  "Behold!" Quantum said in an awed voice, pointing to a building a little up the hill from where we were standing.  "The promised land!"  I'd never seen it at night, but after a nano I recognized it – the girls' dorm.  My heart had slowed down a little, but it sped right back up again.

"Come!"  Quantum took off towards the dorm at a determined pace and everyone fell in behind him.  I looked at the kitty, shrugged, and jogged off after them.  I realized that we were looking at the backside of the building – there were no doors.  Just windows, three floors of windows, most of them spilling light out into the night.  The group formed a kind of scraggly line just below the building

I got my nerve up and tugged on Quantum's sleeve.  "Quantum!" I whispered.  "What are we supposed to-"

"Just follow along.  And pay attention – remember, next hour it will be your solemn responsibility to lead your fellow cadets.  You are the chosen one."

"O…  OK." I gulped.  Quantum looked down the line, like a general reviewing his troops.  Finally he cupped his hands over his mouth and raised his head.

"Arise, Fair Maidens, and come to your windows!" 

I just stared at Quantum, totally confused and freaked out – and I didn't hear anything from Linux either.  But after the first call the other second-hours joined in and they all shouted it again, "Arise, Fair Maidens, and come to your windows!"  This happened three or four times before the first faces started appearing.

It was interesting to watch the reactions of the girls at the windows – most of them giggled, a couple of them looked shocked, one or two even mad.  A couple shouted stuff back down at us that I can't repeat.  After a lot of the windows were filled with faces Quantum held up his hands, and our troops were silent.

"Greeting, Lovely Ladies."

"Greetings, Nullhead!" One of the girls shouted back, and the rest of them giggled.  Quantum merely folded an arm across his belly and bowed slightly.

"Forgive us for disrupting your beauty rest, O Maidens.  We come on a matter of utmost importance, and beseech thee to honor our humble request."  Quantum cleared his throat dramatically, and there was a nano of tense silence as I waited to see what was gonna happen.  Quantum lifted his head again and shouted out in a loud, clear voice, "We want panties!"

A bunch of girls giggled and some shouted and I just stared at him, my mouth hanging open under my monkey mask.  The rest of the guys took up the call – "We want panties!  We want panties!"  I finally looked over at Linux and he was staring back at me, and I giggled and started shouting it too.  Why not?  Sometimes things going on around you are so totally bizarre that the only thing that makes sense is to join in.

I looked up at the dorm again.  The older girls seemed to mostly be laughing, some of them hysterically.  It was the younger ones who looked totally shocked.  I kept shouting along with the rest of the guys and I was actually starting to get into the spirit of it, even if it was just about the stupidest thing I've even been involved in - and I've been involved in some pretty stupid stuff.  And then the first pair of panties came drifting down, and my voice caught in my throat a little.

A few more pairs followed, along with some swear words and a lot of laughing and even a couple of energy shakes.  Some of the guys were laughing now too, but they managed to keep chanting and dodging the energy shakes and then they started to try and catch the panties as they fell and it was pretty strange but really fun, too.

I heard Linux shouting next to me and I laughed and then I saw Patch's face in one of the windows and I thought about Lisa and oh my User, what if she saw me?  But I looked around and didn't see her, and then I looked over at Linux and back up at Patch.  If he noticed her he didn't let on.  I know we had our masks on but I swear, she was staring right at us.  And grinning.  She didn't throw down any panties, though.

Then something white flashed in front of my eyes, and I reached out and grabbed it and it was-  Well, it's not hard to guess what it was.  Then I heard someone yelling but it wasn't a guy's voice, and someone came around the corner of the building.  "Hey!"

"Run!" Quantum shouted, and the guys reached out and grabbed as many panties as they could and scrambled away.  I froze for a nano, then I felt a hand on my collar and I stumbled and pushed myself up and started running.

"Stop!" A woman's voice shouted – the House Master – is it House Mistress?  Whoever she was, she sounded pissed off.  "Stop right now!"

"Split up!" Quantum hissed, and the bunch of us exploded into little groups, stumbling down the hill and darting into the trees.  I saw Linux' mask and took off after him and ran and ran and ran until I couldn't hear the woman's voice anymore.

Linux and I stared at each other and I giggled, I couldn't help it.  I took my mask off and tucked it under my shirt and rested for a nano, panting.  "You…  OK?"

"Yeah." Linux whispered.  He took off his mask.  "Come on – let's get back to the dorm!  Crash, we're gonna get in trouble…"  

"Maybe.  Better keep the masks on until we're safe."  I took off at a jog, circling back towards the boys' dorm.  We occasionally saw another fugitive guy but we didn't see the lady teacher again, and when we got back to the dorm everything was quiet.  Linux and I stared at each other, caught our breath, and walked the last few nanos to the door praying no one was gonna stop us.

Once we were inside we hopped onto the elevator and neither one of us said a word until Linux unlocked the door and we were back inside our room.  Once the door file locked behind us we both fell onto our beds and just laid there for a few nanos, breathing heavily.  Then I looked up at Linux and he was staring back at me, and we both started laughing and we laughed for a long time.  Neither one of us was able to stop until there were tears running down our faces and we were even more out of breath than we were from running.

"That was totally high-density!" Linux giggled, and fell into another laughing fit.

"Oh, Man – that was the dumbest thing I've ever done.  Ever!  But it was so cool!"

"Dude – they were throwing energy shakes at us!  One guy almost got hit!"

"Did you hear what they were yelling?  I didn't know girls used words like that!"  Just thinking about it made me start laughing again, too.

"What's that?"

"What?"  Linux was pointing at my right hand.  I looked down, and scrunched up in my hand was a little ball of soft white fabric.  "Dude!"

"Dude!"  I'd totally forgotten it was even there in all the excitement.  I dropped it on the bed and jumped up, taking a couple steps back.  "Crash!"

"That's…  Those are girls' panties!" Linux gasped.

I stared at my hand.  "I…  I guess that was the whole point, y'know?"

"But…  Those are girls' panties, Dude.  And they're on your bed!"

"Oh, User!"  I tucked my hand under my left arm and groaned.  "What am I, y'know…  What should I do with them?"

"How should I know?  You better not get caught with them – your ascii will be in big trouble!"

"So will yours!"  I sat down on the far end of the bed and stared at the panties.  Just being that close to them made me feel all funny and kinda ashamed.  "What were we supposed to do?  I mean – we went over there and asked for them and everything!  What are we supposed to do with them?" 

"How the web should I know?"  Linux scowled.  He came over and sat next to me, staring at the offending object.  "What…  What'd they feel like?"

"What??"

"What'd they feel like?  I mean, touching them…"

I stared at them for a couple more nanos.  "Soft."

"Really?"

"Yeah.  Really soft."  Linux slowly and carefully reached his arm out and touched them for a nano, then pulled it back like they were on fire.  "See?"

"Yeah.  Really soft." He nodded.  We sat in silence for a little while.  "Wonder whose they are?"

"Dude – stop it!"

"I'm serious!  I mean – they belong to somebody!"

I sighed.  "I don't know, Man.  I know they're not Patch's."

"Patch's?" Linux squeaked.  He looked truly horrified.  "Why would they be Patch's?"

"She was there – you didn't see her?  She didn't throw down any…  Any you- know-whats.  She didn't throw any."

"Oh, crash it!  Patch was there?  Do you think she saw me?"

"Of course she saw you, Stupid.  But we were wearing masks, remember?"  I was pretty sure Patch knew exactly who we were, but Linux looked like he'd be happier not hearing that opinion.

"Oh yeah."  Linux sighed deeply and we both sat, staring at the panties from the far end of my bed.  "You think maybe we should try and give 'em back?"

I shook my head.  "No way – then we'd be sunk, they'd know we were there.  Besides – I don't think we're supposed to.  They threw them down, right?"

"I guess.  So what – we keep 'em?"

"What d'you mean, 'we'?  They're mine – I was the one that caught 'em!"

"Dude – take it easy!  I was just-"

"Sorry!  It's been a weird night, that's all."  I reached out and carefully picked them up again, my arm shaking a little.

"Be sure and hide them good.  If we get caught-"

"I know."  I brought them a little closer and studied them, thinking how totally bizarre a thing it was to be doing.  They were small and white, with little pink flowers on them.  And they were soft.  Really, really soft.  After I looked at them a few nanos I stood and walked over to my footlocker, and carefully hid the panties and the monkey mask all the way down at the bottom. 

"Guess they'll be safe there." Linux said softly.

"Yeah."  I shook my head and giggled.  "Well – now you know what girl's panties feel like."

"Yeah, I guess."

"You're welcome."

"Oh yeah – thanks for asking Quantum to let me come with.  Although I was ready to delete you there for a while..."

I gave him a two-handed shove in the chest and sent him sprawling on the bed.  "Where's your spirit of adventure, Cadet?"

"I think I coughed it up when I almost killed myself running away, Shithead!"  He took a playful swing at me and I laughed and fell onto the bed.  "Hey – your organizer's flashing!"

"Oh, crash!  Laser?"

Linux sat up, looking seriously worried.  "Dude, if you get me expelled-"

"Wait – when I got called into Laser's office last time, it beeped.  Maybe this is something else."

"Well look at it and find out, Stupid!"

I punched him on the shoulder and picked up the organizer. With a deep breath I opened it and accessed the message.  "It says, 'Sender Unknown'!"

"Sender Unknown?  At least it's not Laser."  Linux breathed a sigh of relief.  "Cool.  What's it say?"

"Huh!  That's weird."

"What?  What is it?"

"Look for yourself."  I held up the screen.  On it was flashing, bold and in caps,

TOMORROW

BREAKFAST

SPOILS OF WAR

"That's it – the whole message.  Basic, huh?"

"What's it mean?"

"Dude – I get it!" I groaned.  "We're supposed to show off our trophies at breakfast in the mess hall tomorrow!"

"Our trophies?" Linux frowned. "Oh!  You mean-"

"Yeah.  Oh, User – if Dot finds out about this she'll never let me live it down…"

"At least you have a trophy.  What are you supposed to do with it, exactly?"

"I guess I'll find out tomorrow." I sighed.  I was still trying to get the image of Dot out of my processor.  I knew she wouldn't be too happy with me right then and besides, thinking about Dot and panties on the same night was not a happy marriage in my head.

Linux giggled.  "Breakfast ought to be interesting."

"Dinner, too." I muttered.

"What?"

"Never mind.  It's not funny – stop laughing!"

"Sorry!" he laughed.  "Maybe you're supposed to wear 'em – y'know, over your pants!"

"Log off."  I thought that Bob probably could have told me all about this weird little ritual – but I wasn't about to call and ask him.  I was just gonna have to wait and find out for myself.

The first question I had to ask myself the next morning was about transportation.  Just how, exactly, was I going to get my 'spoils of war' down to breakfast?  Linux' suggestion never even entered my mind.  Eventually I settled on the simplest solution – I scrunched them up into a little ball and stuffed them in my pocket.  It wasn't perfect – it seemed kinda undignified for a ritual and besides, it felt weird having them in that general area.  But I couldn't think of any other way.

Linux was giggling constantly all the way down the elevator and all the way to the mess hall, but I wasn't in nearly as good a mood.  I could sense an embarrassing nano coming up quick, and my radar was getting better and better at detecting that kind of stuff.  At least I wasn't in it by myself, that was something…

We got our food and sat down and nothing happened for a little while, although I thought maybe there was a little more whispering than usual.  I looked around for Quantum and didn't see him and I figured nothing would happen until he got there anyway, so I started in on my breakfast.

I was about halfway finished when there was a kind of buzz in the hall, and Linux and I dropped our forks and looked around.  Quantum walked in looking very pleased with himself, and all eyes in the room were on him immediately.  He stomped right over to the table in the center of the room and stepped up onto it, using a chair like a staircase.  He clapped his hands twice and there was total silence.  "Troops – fall in!"

I looked at Linux and shrugged and he shrugged back, and I got up and started towards Quantum.  "Come on!"

"I don't have a trophy!" Linux hissed.

"Come on!  He said 'troops' – that's us!"  Linux sighed and followed after me, looking miserable.  The fifteen or so boys that had gone to 'war' the night before clustered around Quantum's table, and he put his hands on his hips and stared out across the room, scowling.

"Troops!  Last night was a great victory for all of us.  Let us celebrate our triumph by displaying the treasures of our vanquished foes." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a frilly pair of pink panties, much fancier than the ones in mine.  He held them high over his head.  "Bring forth the spoils of war!" 

With a sigh, I closed my eyes and reached into my pocket.  When I felt the soft fabric I yanked it out and raised it over my head, and I heard Linux spluttering softly.  "Behold – victory!" Quantum shouted.

"Victory!" the rest of us echoed in a kind of scraggly cheer.

Then, to my utter amazement, Quantum pulled the panties over his head like a frilly pink hat.  "Let us adorn ourselves in the armor of our enemy so that we may parade before our compatriots, resplendent in all our glory!"

"Oh, User!" I moaned softly.  Maybe I just thought it.  I gulped and slipped the panties over my head as a roar of laughter and a few cheers rose in the mess hall. That was a very, very weird feeling, having those things on my head.   Quantum took a flying leap off the table – I have to admit, it was impressive – and landed on the floor with a loud 'thump'.

"Fall in!" He barked, and took off at a regal march.  The rest of us straggled along behind him as the others in the hall hooted and cheered.  That was the nano I realized there was definitely a new leader in the stupidest thing I've ever done category.  I intentionally avoided looking at Linux, because I was pretty sure he'd be grinning his ascii off at my condition and gloating over the fact that even though he was marching, he was doing it without anything on his head.

When you're doing something that stupid and that embarrassing, you get to the stage where you just stop caring anymore and start to enjoy it.  The other guys in the hall were certainly having a good time and eventually I couldn't help but start giggling myself.  It almost felt good, 'cause at least I was part of something and that was a feeling I hadn't had too often in my life.  We looked stupid, but we looked stupid together.

We made a couple of circuits of the hall before Quantum turned and started marching in place, which the rest of us took as our signal to stop, so we did.  He reviewed us for a nano, snagged the panties from his head and held them up high again.  "Troops – resume…  Breakfast!"  There was a loud cheer from the room, and we pulled the panties off and straggled back to our tables.

I was still shaking my head when I sat down and stuffed the panties back in my pocket.  Linux laughed and pounded me on the back.  "Enzo, that was absolutely alphanumeric.  You have no idea how stupid you looked."

"Thanks.  Thanks very much."

"You got guts, Man.  I'm glad I didn't have to walk around with those things on my head!  How'd it feel?"

"How do you think?" I scowled.  "Totally weird."

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to see Quantum standing behind us.  "Hey, Little Men."

"Hey." I grinned.  "Is it over?"

"Is it over?  It's never over!  That's why it's a tradition!"  He knelt down between us.  "Remember, as the chosen one it's your solemn responsibility to see that the ritual is passed on next hour.  I was chosen one last hour, and I pass that compact on to you now.  Find another deserving sprout to pass it on to next hour.  Understand?"

"Understand.  I will, I promise."

"Good solider."  He nodded at Linux.  "You – help him, got it?"

"Yes Sir – I will."

"Don't call me 'Sir' – I'm not a teacher.  The solemn ritual is in your hands now, Little Men – the weight of history is on your shoulders.  Can you handle it?"

"Yes, Quantum!" I nodded. 

"Yes Si-  Quantum."

"Good."  Quantum winked at us and walked off, a bit of frilly pink spilling out of his pocket.

"Dude – he's amazing.  I've never met anyone like him." Linux grinned.

"I have.  Maybe a little, anyways." 

"Yeah?  Who?"

"You know him." I smiled.  "So – I was thinking we could have dinner in the great hall tonight…"