Before dinner, there was lunch. I figured it would be Lisa and my last planning session before she put her plan – which I was still totally doubtful about – into action that night. But it started out as something totally different than I expected – as usual.
Lisa was waiting for me at our usual table when I got to the mess hall. I still got a little rush of adrenaline whenever I saw her gold hair shining from across a room, and I couldn't help smile a little. She had the most amazing physical effect on me – I could hear my heart start to pound, and my face get all flushed and my head feel light. I figured maybe it would go away after I'd seen her a bunch of times, but I guess it doesn't work that way 'cause it wasn't getting any better. Thank the User.
"Hey!" I smiled and sat next to her. It was so hard not to kiss her every time I saw her that it drove me offline, but I settled for squeezing her hand. "Having a good cycle?"
"Fine, thanks." She looked at me kinda funny, with her eyebrow raised a little bit. "You?"
"OK, I guess. I had breakfast with Linux…" I decided not to tell her about what else had happened and breakfast. "I talked to him about tonight – he knows we're having supper in the great hall."
"You didn't tell him about Patch being there, did you?"
"No!" I frowned. "Of course not – I'm not totally basic, you know. Did you talk to Patch?"
"Oh, I talked to her all right." Lisa smiled. She stared at me for a nano, making me squirm in my chair. Her stare always did that. "Enzo, is there anything you'd like to tell me?"
"Tell you? What do you mean?"
"Oh, you know – just anything about anything. Is there?"
"No – not really." She was freaking me out – she didn't seem mad exactly, but she was definitely hiding something. "What's the matter? Is something wrong?"
Her face softened up a little. "I guess I'm going to have to come right out and ask you, aren't I? You aren't too good at all this subtle hinting stuff."
"I'm not basic, if that's what you mean! Jeez…"
"I know you're not, Silly. You're just a very direct sprite, that's all. So I'll be direct – where were you last night, about twenty-nine hundred?"
My jaw dropped. She knew! Oh crash, she knew… "Uh…"
"I was talking to Patch – she told me some very interesting things happened on her side of the dorm building last night."
"Interesting?" I just wanted to stall for time for a nano, think. Maybe she didn't know I was there – we had been wearing masks after all! "Um – interesting how?"
Lisa's eyes were burning holes in me. "She said a bunch of boys were outside, wearing silly masks and shouting and yelling and making asciis out of themselves. She said they were asking for panties, and some of the girls even threw some down. She said some of them even seemed to enjoy it. They called it a 'panty-raid'."
"Oh. That is interesting." I said weakly.
"Isn't it. She also said that two of the boys were quite short. Smaller than the others. So I was just wondering if-"
"I was there." I sighed. I couldn't lie to her – I just couldn't. I didn't want to.
"Enzo!" Lisa pursed her lips at me and shook her head. "I can't believe it – how could you get involved in something like that?"
"It's not that big a deal, is it? We were just goofing around."
"Is that what you call it? I call it degrading and insulting and infantile, that's what I call it!" She crossed her arms and looked away. "I really thought you were different than all of them Enzo, I really did…"
"I am different, Lisa!" I protested. "What's the big deal about a stupid prank? You said yourself some of the girls liked it-"
"That's their problem if they like being treated like sex programs instead of sprites. I'm so disappointed in you-"
"That's not fair!" This was a new thing for me – I actually felt mad at Lisa for the first time. I didn't like it, but I couldn't deny it. It was a struggle to keep my voice down. "All we did was go over to the dorm and yell up at them for a few nanos, and most of 'em laughed! They've been doing it at the Academy forever – even Bob did it!"
"I just don't like you acting like a stupid boy…"
"But I am a boy! You… Crash!" I took a couple of deep breaths. "I have to try and fit in here, spammit. I'm a guy – I'm not allowed to do guy stuff? I'd never do anything where people were getting hurt or anything, you know. Never!"
"Maybe you don't think so Enzo, but that was really a dumb thing to do! It was insulting and stupid and what if you'd gotten caught?"
"So – I'm not allowed to ever do dumb stuff or you won't like me?" I sighed. "I don't have a chance, then…"
"That's not what I mean – of course I won't stop liking you. I… I just-"
"Look – I'm really sorry if I, you know, offended you. I admit - I thought it was pretty stupid even while I was doing it! But it was fun, too – I've never had a chance to do guy stuff before – y'know? With guys my own age. And I really liked it and I don't think I should have to apologize to you for it. So I… So I won't. Not again, anyway."
"Oh, Enzo…" Lisa shook her head and poked at her lunch. After a few nanos she looked up at me. "It's not that I don't want you to be a guy or have fun – I just wish you wouldn't be a stupid one."
"I can't help it, I guess. I didn't plan it or anything – it just happened." I was still a little mad at Lisa, but now I was moving back towards just wanting her to love me. I grabbed her hand. "You know I'd never do anything if it was really bad – right? Like what those nulls did to me in the shower. I'd never do anything if I thought someone was really gonna get hurt or feel bad."
"I know." She smiled. "I know you wouldn't. You couldn't. I just hate thinking of you doing the same stuff as those stupid nullheads. I hate thinking of you liking it even more. But I guess you can't help being stupid if you're a boy."
I guess I should've been insulted, but I just laughed. "I'm not as stupid as most of them. Neither is Linux."
"Well…" Lisa giggled. "Maybe he wasn't as stupid as I figured. Patch actually thought it was kinda cool that he was out there, if you can believe that. I think she figured he was kind of a dork before."
"Dude – really? That's pixelacious!"
"Well – the whole thing is pretty bizarre to me, but if she liked it I guess it makes our job tonight a little easier." She grinned and tapped my nose. "She still likes you, though, Mister Panty-boy – and we'll have to work on that later."
"Not too much, though – I don't want her to hate me or anything! She's nice. And it's good to have friends around here."
"Yeah – I guess so." Lisa sighed.
I gave her hand a good squeeze. "So – we're OK now?"
"Yeah – we're OK, Cutie. We always were."
"Pixelacious!" I wanted so much to hug her and kiss her that I actually bounced up and down in my seat a little bit. Finally I couldn't help myself and pecked her on the cheek. "User, you're beautiful."
"Enzo – don't! What if a teacher sees?"
"Sorry." I mumbled. "I couldn't help it. Uh… Lover."
"What?" Lisa said stiffly.
"Um – I just… My brother and AndrAIa call each other that sometimes. I thought maybe I could have a name for you since you're my girlfriend and all…"
"Well – don't." Lisa scowled. Pushed it too far… I felt like kicking myself – somehow I just couldn't help saying the dumb thing sometimes. "Your brother and AndrAIa are how old?"
"Well – 2.5 or so-"
"Then they can call each other anything they want. But that name has certain… Implications. So don't call me that anymore."
"Sorry." I whispered. "I didn't mean anything by it. I didn't think about that." Of course I did think about "that" sometimes – but I hadn't been thinking of it just then.
"I know." Lisa squeezed my hand. "It's OK."
"It's just – you call me "Cutie" and I kinda really like it and I just thought I should have a name for you…"
She grinned. "I call you "Cutie" 'cause you're cute, Cutie!"
"Well – maybe I should call you "Beautiful" then. Since "Most beautiful sprite in the net" would take too long to say."
"Oh, Enzo – stop that." Now she was blushing for a change.
"It's true – you are. So can I call you "Beautiful"?"
"If you want." She smiled and looked down. "I think it's just dumb – I'm not very beautiful at all-"
"You are." I gave her hand a good hard squeeze and wished for the millionth time that microsecond I could kiss her properly. "Just seeing you makes me happy. You're totally perfect."
"Thank you." She said softly. I could tell this was making her really uncomfortable because she was still blushing and she didn't look up at me. "Let's talk about tonight, OK? You're sure Linux will be there?"
"Yeah – sure." I sighed. "He's always up to do stuff. And he doesn't have a clue about Patch."
Lisa looked at me at last. "Make sure you give us a little extra time before you show up, OK? I want to plant a few files in Patch's processor. Maybe last night helped a little bit, who knows."
"I will. Do you really think this will work?"
"Well – I hope so." She smiled. "Poor Linux – he seems so sad every time I see him."
"Yeah." I nodded. "I hope so too – those guys are great. They really came through for me when I needed 'em. And if they like each other maybe they'll be a millionth as happy as I am 'cause of you. That's pretty happy."
"Stop it, you." Lisa giggled.
"I wish we were alone. I wanna kiss you so bad…"
"You boys are all alike!"
"I can't help it." I whispered. Sometimes a feeling would come over me and I wanted Lisa so much I could hardly stand it, and it was happening right then. "Sorry, I just can't. You're so utterly amazing…"
"Thank you. And stop it! Eat your lunch." She was blushing again.
I'd totally forgotten about my food. It just didn't seem important. "OK. But I still wish we were alone so I could kiss you. Beautiful…"
"Maybe later." I froze with my fork halfway up to my mouth. I've heard about sprites having a glint in their eye but this was the first time I could be sure I was actually seeing it. I finished my lunch but needless to say, my thoughts were on other things and they stayed there all cycle.
I think Linux started to get a little suspicious before we went to the great hall for dinner – although I don't think he had a clue what he was suspicious about. It's just that I was a acting a little weird – I was nervous about what Lisa was trying to pull off and I wanted to make sure I didn't screw it up before she had the chance.
Because I was nervous I did some stupid stuff – like asking Linux "We're still going to the great hall for dinner, right?" about three times, and when I had to stall for time so we wouldn't get there too early I think I was pretty clumsy about it. But like I said, Linux didn't have a clue what to be suspicious about so all he did was give me a few weird looks and that was it.
"I don't see why we couldn't just eat dinner in the boys' dorm like we always do." Linux grumbled as we were zipping over.
"Uh – well, we always do. Like you said. Don't you ever feel like doing something different?"
"What's different? It's the same basic food!"
"I guess. But… But the sprites are different. And they have different tables and stuff…"
"Whee! Different tables." He looked at me suspiciously. "Maybe you just want to stare at girls while you eat or something. You have a girlfriend, Enzo. Lucky bastard."
I started to sweat – that was uncomfortably close to the truth. I decided to change the subject. "Lisa and I had a fight today."
"A fight? Crash – about what?"
"Well – I guess she found out where I was last night. You know – the panty raid. And she didn't like it too much."
Linux tried to look sad, but then he giggled a little. "Sorry, Dude – was she really mad?"
I punched him on the shoulder. "Thanks a lot. She was at first – but she's cool. I told her we were just having fun and we didn't hurt anybody and we didn't plan on doing it, it just happened. She was OK after a few nanos."
"Did you kiss her?"
"Not in the mess hall, Stupid!" I neglected to mention the peck on the cheek – that wasn't a real kiss. "Besides – I'm not allowed to tell anymore, remember?"
"Oh, yeah." He looked disappointed.
"I really, really wanted to though." I sighed. "Crash, she is such a total babe…"
"Go ahead – rub it in. That's real nice."
"Sorry. But you'll have a girlfriend pretty soon I bet."
Linux laughed in a kind of choking way. "All the rest of the guy cadets are leaving? High density!"
"Shut up, Man! Don't be such an output – I bet girls like you fine."
"No they don't. They think I'm a pathetic loser."
"Stop it!" We were outside the great hall now, and this wasn't exactly going like I'd hoped. "Dude, I only know two girls anyways – Patch and Lisa. And I know they both think you're alphanumeric."
"I still think you're shittin' me about Patch." Linux mumbled.
"Hey – I know what I saw, that's all. C'mon – let's get some food." We stood in line and I made sure I was behind Linux, so I could look around for the others. I finally spotted them at a table off in a corner. I waved for a few nanos and finally Lisa spotted me and made eye contact. I was worried that we'd gotten there too early, but she gave me a thumb's up.
Linux got his food before I did and started heading for an empty table. "Wait!" I shouted out.
"Wait for what? There's a line, you know!" the service binome scowled.
"Sorry!" I quickly grabbed my tray and started after Linux. "Wait, Man! There's Lisa and Patch over in the corner – let's go sit with them."
He jerked his head over to where I was pointing. "Crash. I don't want to."
"Why?"
"I just don't, OK? Here's an empty table."
"I can't do that – Lisa would be pissed at me! She's right over there!"
"So go then!" Linux mumbled.
"No, Dude – then you'd be by yourself, that's no good."
"Enzo, I don't care. Just go-"
"Guys! Hey, guys!" I shouted and waved, and Patch turned around and both girls waved at us.
"There – they know we're here. Now we have to go over or they'll think we're total nullheads." I smiled.
"You output! I don't-"
"Just come on!" I got behind him and gave him a little push with my boot. "Just be nice to her, OK? That's why she likes you – 'cause you're nice."
"Byte me." Linux hissed. I could tell he was really ticked off at me, but that didn't worry me half as much as how ticked off Lisa would be if I couldn't get him over there. He at least tried to fake a smile as we got closer to the girls. "Uh… Hi you guys."
"Hi Linux. Hey, Enzo." Lisa grinned. "Have a seat." Linux hesitated for a split-nano, and I darted into the chair next to Lisa so he'd have to sit next to Patch.
"Hi, Enzo." Patch smiled at me. I nodded nervously. They she looked over at Linux and she was still smiling. "Hi there."
"Oh! Uh… Hi." Linux replied, turning red as Frisket. "What's processing?"
"Oh, not much. So – what'd you guys do last night?"
I didn't think he could, but Linux turned even redder and I started to blush too, I think. Linux didn't say anything right away and I started to answer her, but Lisa squeezed my hand – hard – and I winced and shut up. "Um… Nothing much." Linux finally mumbled.
"I hear we have some bad boys on campus." Lisa giggled. I wasn't sure exactly where she was going, but I figured my best bet was to keep my input shut.
"I dunno." Linux shrugged with a goofy smile.
"Yeah – apparently there was quite a disturbance outside the girls' dorm last night – everyone is talking about it. Unfortunately I was on the wrong side of the building and I missed it. Did you see anything, Patch?"
"Actually, I did. There were a bunch of loud boys down there wearing masks, and some of the girls were throwing panties at them. Can you imagine?"
"Wow." Linux mumbled.
"I saw the cutest little kitty and monkey out there. The monkey even caught a pair of panties before our house master chased them off. Did you boys see anything?"
"Um… I-"
"We were there." I offered, catching on. Linux shot me a dirty look.
"Enzo!" Lisa pretended to be horrified. "I can hardly believe such a thing! Why would nice boys like you get involved in something like that?"
I shrugged. "I dunno. I guess it seemed like it'd be fun. I was actually pretty scared the whole time but Linux was totally cool and into it."
"Dude – that's so not true! I-"
"Linux is always better under pressure than me. Like that time in Laser's office – I was totally scared, but he was cool and he knew exactly what to do. You too, Patch."
"Guess its 'cause of his brother getting infected, and living in the Supercomputer and everything. He's used to dangerous stuff like that." Lisa added.
"Yeah – he's used to this stuff. Mainframe's a pretty small system, nothing exciting ever happens there. So I guess I panic a little bit when it does here."
Linux was looking totally bewildered by this point. "Spam – what about all that stuff with your-"
"I guess you lived in the Supercomputer too, didn't you?" Lisa asked Patch.
"Uh-huh. From when I was 0.8 till 1.2."
"Really?" Linux talked directly to Patch now, for the first time. "I was there when I was 0.9. For almost three hours."
"Yeah? What school did you go to?"
"Uh… Celeron, and then one hour at Cyrix Junior High. Until we had to bug out after… You know. The bad stuff."
"Crash – Cyrix, really?" Patch grinned. "I went to AMD – we used to play you in football!"
"Yeah – I remember! I remember we beat you 57-3 in our homepagecoming game, too."
"Hey!" Patch scowled and poked Linux in the chest. "You got lucky – our best player was hurt that minute."
"A lot more of 'em were hurt after that minute."
"Ow!"
I'd been fascinated by the sudden turn in the conversation – basically the existence of a conversation – between Patch and Linux, but I immediately focused in on Lisa. "What's wrong? What is it?"
"Nothing, I'm sure." She winced, holding her side. "I just had a sudden pain in my stomach, that's all. These ram chips must not agree with me."
"Are… Are you OK?" Before I knew it my hand was on her shoulder and I was leaning close to her, breathing hard.
"Yeah – I'm fine. I think I'd better go home, though – I should go to bed. Enzo, will you walk me?"
Oh! "Er – sure, no problem. I'll take you home. Don't worry, everything will be OK."
"Thanks." Lisa smiled weakly and pushed herself up from her chair with a groan. I grabbed her under the shoulders and helped her up, just to make it look good. And if it also felt good, so what?
"Wait!" Linux looked panicky all of a sudden. "Don't go! We-"
"I think I'd better – my stomach just doesn't feel right."
"Maybe I… I should go with you-"
"Don't be silly! He's such a gentleman, isn't he Patch? I'll be fine with Enzo – we'll manage. Besides, you've barely started eating. I'm sure Patch will keep you company." She whispered in my ear. "Go!"
"Right! Let's get you home." We were already walking towards the door. "See you guys later."
"Bye." Patch called out. "Feel better."
"Yeah." Linux added softly. Lisa and I waved and we kept going, my arm around her shoulder. I was sure Patch and Linux must've had an idea what was happening, but neither one of them called us out on it. Maybe that was a good sign.
"You can let me go now." Lisa smiled, as soon as were outside the mess hall.
"Huh?"
"You can let go now – I'll walk on my own."
Only then did I realize my hands were still around her shoulders. "Oh! Sorry."
"That's OK." She giggled. "I kinda liked it, but we don't want people to get the wrong idea."
"No – of course not." I sighed. I grabbed her hand and we walked out into the cool night. "So – I guess that went pretty OK, huh?"
"I guess so. It's up to Linux now – if he acts like a jerk or something it'll all be over in a nano. I just figured it was time for them to be on their own."
"You sure are smart!" I grinned. "What'd you say to Patch before we got there – your 'sales pitch'? I hope you didn't tell her I was a virus or something."
"No! I just talked Linux up a little bit."
"Talked him up how?"
She shrugged. "I just told her what a nice guy he was, and I said he was totally hot. And I told her that when I met you guys, Linux was the one I was really into – but he liked her, so it wouldn't work. And then I sort of got to like you after I knew I couldn't have him."
"Oh. That was smart."
I guess I must have looked really pathetic when she said that. "Aw… I didn't mean it, I promise! I knew you were the one from that first nano."
"Really?"
"Promise." She grinned and patted my cheek. "Linux is nice, but I think you're the real hottie."
"Thanks, Beautiful. You too."
"Cutie…"
"Crash!"
"What is it?"
"Well… I hardly got to touch my dinner. I'm still hungry! And we can't go into town either, it's a school night."
"Poor baby." She giggled. "Well – why don't you just go back to the boys' dorm and eat there?"
"No – I want to be with you. I guess I'll just be hungry."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry, Cutie. Maybe we can find some way to take your processor off it."
"Oh, User!" I sighed. "Can we please go somewhere so I can kiss you? I'm going offline!"
"Enzo! I've never seen you like this."
"I know. I just… I've been thinking about kissing you all cycle and I'm going crazy. Don't you wanna kiss me?"
"Well… Sure." Lisa smiled. "I'm just wondering what's gotten into you, that's all."
"Nothing. I just wanna kiss you. Can we?"
"Sure. But where?"
"Um…" After a couple nanos I remembered our run from the panty-raid back to our dorm the night before. "There's some directory trees at the bottom of the hill not far the girl's dorm – how about there?"
"Well…"
"C'mon!" I tugged on her hand. "Just look at it, OK? There's hardly any sprites there and it's real dark. It's perfect!"
"All right, all right! Show me." Lisa sighed. I grinned and took off at a jog, still holding her hand. All I could think about was in a few nanos maybe I'd be kissing her. I've never wanted anything else in quite the same way in my life.
We were both a little out of breath by the time we got to the little patch of trees at the bottom of the hill. There weren't that many of them but they were thickly clustered, and when we standing in the center no one would have known we were there unless they were almost right next to us. We could only see little patches of light from the dorm windows up the hill. We took a few nanos to catch out breath, then I smiled at her. "Well? Is this OK?"
Lisa looked around a few times. "Yes - I think so. As long as no one walks in on us."
"They won't, I promise."
"OK, then." She laughed softly. She settled down on the grass, cross-legged. "I just don't know what's gotten into you today, Enzo!"
"Sorry." I whispered. I sat in front of her and crossed my legs. "If you don't want to, it's OK-"
"No – I want to."
"Really?" She nodded. "Cool! I don't know why, I've just been thinking about you so much it's making me basic. You're just so beautiful and so nice…"
"I think about you too, you know." Lisa said softly. She grabbed my hand and brushed my forearm with the back of her other one, back and forth. It felt wonderful.
"You really do? You think about me?"
"Yes." She leaned in and kissed my cheek gently.
"Alphanumeric." She smiled and started to move her lips towards mine, but I put my hand on her cheek. "Hang on a nano?"
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just want to look at you first, OK?"
"Enzo!" she giggled. I really did just want to look at her – I needed to. It was like I had to slow down and convince myself that she was real. I just sat there and stared at her eyes, I don't know for how long. "Enzo…"
"OK. I'm ready." I put my hands on her shoulders and felt hers on my ribcage, under my arms. Relax – just relax! I told myself. I could kind of feel my whole system overheating and I desperately wanted to slow down, 'cause I knew already that kissing her and everything felt better when I took it slowly instead of rushing it. But her lips were getting closer and closer to mine and my processor was running faster and faster and before I knew it, it was happening – we were kissing.
"Mmmmm." My heart started thumping like crazy and it was just… Explosive. I can't think of a better word. Every time I kissed Lisa was wonderful and different, but this time her kiss just seemed to shoot through my whole body and I was glad I was sitting down, because if I'd been standing I might've fallen and not only because of that either.
After we'd kissed for a long time – with a few short breaths thrown in just for fun – I pulled Lisa to me and hugged her really hard. She tucked her head under my chin and I kissed her hair, over and over. At that nano the thought of not having her as my girlfriend was scarier than a web full of Daemons. "Enzo… That was wonderful."
As for me, basic as it sounds I couldn't even talk for a while. It was like she'd taken all the air out of my lungs when she kissed me and all I could do was sit there and hug her, so that's exactly what I did. It was very quiet out among those trees at night, and I could hear my heart thumping in my chest, and a little wind in the trees, and I could smell her hair and even though it was cool outside we were sweating a little and I could smell that, too. I could see a little sheen on her neck in the pale light, just a tiny shine against the smooth teal. Her skin was so close to my lips and I wanted desperately to lower my head just a little, and kiss her there, taste her skin – but I didn't. I was afraid – I knew that somehow that was totally different than what we'd been doing, something new, and I just wasn't ready for it.
So instead I just held her for a long time, hugged her against me as the night got darker and darker and kissed her hair sometimes and loved how soft and warm she felt against me. And finally, once I felt strong enough and had enough air back inside me, I took her face in my hands and stared at her for a nano and kissed her on the nose, and then kissed her on the lips again and felt the fire shooting through me.
It's amazing how fast time goes by when you're hugging and kissing a pretty girl – once we'd done our second round of kissing it was almost lights out. In more ways than one. I walked Lisa back up to her front door and since there was no one around by this time, I dared to give her a good-night kiss, short but sweet. "Night."
"Night Enzo. Sleep tight."
"I'll miss you." I sighed. She smiled and patted my cheek, then disappeared into the girls' dorm. I stared at the door for a nano, then turned for home.
I wanted to take a long, slow walk back to my dorm and think about everything I was feeling, but I couldn't 'cause of the time – getting caught out after L.O. is a bad file. So I zipped back and headed straight up to my room, Lisa still taking up pretty much my whole RAM.
Linux was in bed when I got back there and I was a little shocked for a nano, like I'd forgotten there was anyone else in the net except Lisa and me. Of course as soon as I saw him I was curious about how his evening had gone, but I didn't wanna come right out and ask him. "Hey."
"Hey."
I kicked off my boots off and 'booted into my shorts and t-shirt and flopped down on the bed. "How was… You know. You and Patch?"
Linux raised himself onto his elbow and stared at me. "You kissed her again, did you?"
"What?"
He smiled a little. "Lisa. I can tell – you get this spacy look on your face like you aren't all there. It must be pretty amazing."
"Uh…" The memory of how mad Lisa had gotten was still vivid in my processor and I didn't want to admit anything, but I guess it wasn't my fault if Linux could guess it on his own. As for me, I wanted to change the subject before I got into any more trouble. "Yeah. It's pretty good. Did you and Patch have fun?"
"We didn't kiss, if that's what you mean." Linux sighed and leaned back with his hands behind his head.
"Sorry, Dude. Was it OK, though?"
"It was OK. We talked for a while and I didn't make a total ascii of myself – at least I don't think I did. I guess that's progress. We have a lot in common…"
"Definitely." I grinned. "So it was cool? You gonna see her again?"
"I dunno. Maybe. I hope so – she's really cute."
"Yeah – she is. Ask her out again – she'll say yes!"
"Well – we might go see a quicktime in town this minute-end, so I-"
"Dude – that's pixelacious!" I laughed. "You work fast!"
"Shut up. It's just a quicktime."
"Whatever. It's still pixelacious, though."
"Yeah, I guess." He deleted his light. "You wanna double, maybe?"
"Um – double what?"
"Double-date, stupid!" he giggled. "I keep forgetting you don't know any of this stuff. You wanna double-date?"
"I'll ask Lisa – it sounds cool."
"Might be better for me. First date and everything…" he said softly. "I'm gonna crash – lights out. C ya in the morning."
"Yeah – C ya." I sighed. "Crash – I have all this stupid homework and I haven't done any of it! Too much other stuff going on, it's not fair." I turned on my organizer.
"Life's not fair, Dude. Night."
"Night."
"I know what you did, you know." Linux grumbled.
"Huh?"
"I know what you guys did. You and Lisa. I'm not basic."
"Oh." Well, that didn't come as any big surprise. "Sorry Linux, we-"
"It's OK. Thanks."
"Oh! Cool." I grinned. "Any time."
"Night, Nullhead."
"Night, Output."
I worked on my homework for a little while, feeling guilty that I'd been kinda neglecting my studying. The last thing in the net I wanted was to have everyone be disappointed in me, but somehow it turned out there was a lot more to life at the Academy than I'd expected. I resolved – not for the first time – that I was really gonna crack down and start studying hard.
Problem was, I was having a real hard time concentrating. No matter how much I tried to focus on COBOL syntax or game-sprite subgroups I kept drifting to Lisa. She was everywhere inside my head, wherever I looked. It felt like she was inside my whole body.
After a while of staring motionless at the screen on my organizer, I finally gave up on my homework for the night. I shut down my organizer and deleted my light and lay there in the dark, listening the slow 'thump' of my heart and Linux' soft snores coming from the other side of the room, and I couldn't fall asleep.
As I lay there a new feeling came over me, something powerful and different than anything I'd never experienced before. See, from the first nano I ever saw Lisa I knew she was beautiful, and I never stopped knowing it whenever I thought about her. But this was different. I don't know whether it was the panty-raid or wanting to kiss her all cycle or the incredible memory of actually kissing her a few millis earlier, or some combination of all of them. But somehow they all built and built up on themselves and overwhelmed me and I felt an incredible, agonizing desire for Lisa. My whole body ached with it. It was terrible and wonderful, all at the same time.
For those nanos as I lay there in the dark I was a man, not a boy. What I felt inside me was as powerful as anything any man had ever felt, I knew it. Some part of me knew it was wrong to think about Lisa that way but I couldn't help it, I was consumed by it until it was all I was, this incredible longing for her that grew and grew and grew until it actually made me cry a little.
I burrowed under my covers and my whole body was tingling. I could feel every thread of the blanket and every beat of my heart and I felt totally and completely alive. My body responded in a way it never had before, like the dream I'd had about Lisa but more powerful, more awesome because I was awake, almost painfully awake. Just a touch sent explosions through me, almost making me cry out. I had some idea that these things happened, that they were possible, but no talk from Bob or anything else could have prepared me for how devastating they could be.
I let the feelings build and build, needing to help them along only a little bit, and I got more and more terrified and more and more excited at the same time. I couldn't have stopped if I'd wanted to – the feelings just grew and became more and more thrilling and any logical thoughts I might have had were totally irrelevant. It was just about loving Lisa and wanting her desperately and incredible sensations coursing through my body until it was all too much and it overwhelmed me and I think I did cry out, just a little – more like a whimper than anything else – and the most incredible sensation of all washed over me and all I could see were stars dancing in front of my eyes.
Afterwards I lay there, not moving, for a long time. My breath was coming in quick gasps and my heart was pounding and I just listened to them, felt them slow little by little as a strange lightness filled my head. I remember being utterly amazed that my puny body could make feelings like that, something so powerful and wonderful and scary. A part of me tried to be ashamed, wanted to feel guilty for what had happened, but that was buried a long way inside me for the nano. I was tired, but it was kind of pleasant – I could feel the tiredness pushing me gently to sleep. I heard Linux' snoring and was vaguely relieved that he hadn't woken up.
As I drifted off Lisa was still in my processor, but it was different now – not the intense, almost painful feeling of wanting her badly like before – it was more of a pleasant knowledge of how wonderful she was, how much I loved her and how lucky I was. It was soothing, and between that wonderful image of her face and the soft fog that had fallen over me I fell blissfully asleep in a few nanos.