March 3rd, 2008
"Are you ready to do this?" That was the fourth person who had asked me that or a near copy of the question. I didn't have an answer to give any of them. A part of me was ready and the other part of me couldn't wait to travel millions of miles away. I haven't felt nervousness like this since God I can't remember how long! And I hate this feeling of being innerly out of control. Do they feel the same as me? They must, I mean how could they not?
I watch Olivia and Dustin playing helping in and with a pile of grass, no concerns of the tiny bugs about to invade their terroity. Ah to be a child again. Everything is new and exciting nothing has scarred you completely. Maybe one day I'll have a few of my own. I always swore I won't, but things change. Who want to marry me let alone have children with me?
"Are you excited?" There's that damn question again!
"I suppose so, oh hell I don't know!" I finally announce.
"Aw don't sweat it you'll do great man." Always there with an encouraging word. Now the awkward silence starts. Unable to get past the years of only talking through Christmas cards and every other month phone call conversations lasting barely 5 minutes. There only purpose to make sure the other was still breathing. I want our closeness to return to where it once was. I'm sure he wants the same as well.
"Well I'm going to get him cleaned up." Jack tells me while gesturing towards Dustin. Clu had kids, Jack as well, Fiona is excepting one in October. Everything has changed so much here Hope Springs, still things are still strangely the same. I guess things never completely change no matter how hard you may wish them to. Clu is still insane but at least now in a more safe and less dangerous way. Jack still is overly practical and everyone's best friend, well except mine. Fiona hasn't stopped fighting injustice in this and other worlds, only she doesn't get herself into hazardous situations. Annie well what ever came to be with her? Once she returned with her parents no one heard from the Thelen's again. Clu thinks they were aliens.
Will I ever be fully allowed back in our little huddle of friendship? It's been 7 months since I moved back and still I am the outsider. I am still child I was when I left with the same ideals and principles. Maybe they're all waiting for me to o through my mentrophosis of change. How do I do that? How do I erase all those years from my life?
"Carey it's almost time, let's go!" Molly tells me while wheeling past me. I follow right behind my heart pounding. I stand behind her about to throw up as we all wait.
"After 6 years the Washington Center is proud to welcome Molly Phillips!" I listen to the crowd cheer their welcoming filling my heart with love and pure joy. Walking up on the stage with Molly and the rest of the band, I know I made the right decision.
THE END