IV

Despatches

Journal entry; Reketh Colony; Cardassian New Territories; December 2373

When I started to write this journal and told my father what I was doing, he laughed and said that diaries weren't a very Cardassian form of literature.

'They're the expression of individual aspirations and identity. Their very nature is private and secretive. They're geared towards the formation of one's own distinctive standpoint rather than encouraging adherence to communal perspectives.'

'Should I stop writing it, then?'

He smiled. 'I don't think so.'

I was puzzled. 'Why would you encourage me to think in an un-Cardassian manner?'

He shrugged. 'Why should I not? It never did me any harm.' He stroked my hair. 'I want you to love Cardassia for what she is. I want you to understand how other societies think and work, and still prefer your own. And if the day ever comes that you live away from her - like I did - I want you to remember what's of value about your home, remember it and treasure it.'

When we had that conversation, living away from Cardassia seemed very unlikely. It looks like I'm going to experience it a lot sooner than I ever expected.


The Defiant bridge; near Cardassian space; December 2373

How quickly you become an outsider, Julian Bashir reflected as he stood a little self-consciously to one side of the bridge of the Defiant and watched his former colleagues go about their duties. It was only twelve months since he had been part of this team, but watching their seamless interactions now, he wondered how he had ever fitted in at all. He sighed a little.

Sisko looked at him. 'I think we should expect contact pretty soon,' he murmured.

Kira turned. 'Are you going to tell us why we're out here, Captain?'

He shook his head. 'Not quite yet.'

'We're very close to the Cardassian border, Benjamin,' Dax pointed out.

'And I ask for your patience just a little longer, old man,' he replied evenly.

'I imagine that's when I'll find out why you wanted me here too,' Bashir murmured.

Sisko didn't answer and just nodded slowly.

'Captain,' O'Brien interjected, 'There's a craft registering on the forward sensors. Some sort of Cardassian shuttle. Perhaps it's time to go.'

'Wait,' said Sisko.

'Benjamin,' said Dax, 'We're taking a real risk this close to the border...'

'Wait.'

'The shuttle's transmitting a coded signal, Captain,' O'Brien said. Sisko came across to check it.

'That's what I was waiting for. Mister O'Brien, there are two to beam aboard from that ship.'

O'Brien gave Dax an uncertain look then operated the controls. Before the crew's eyes materialized two Cardassian girls, one a few years older than the other.

Bashir started. 'Peyta?'

The older girl looked at him. 'Doctor Bashir. How very nice to see you again,' she said a little faintly and looked round anxiously at the startled bridge crew. The younger girl took her hand.

Sisko stepped forward. 'Welcome aboard. I believe you have something for me?'

Peyta reached into her pocket and pulled out a small data chip. She offered it to Sisko.

As Sisko reached out to retrieve it, his hand brushing against hers very briefly. He caught her gaze: blue, unwavering, guarded. 'You are safe here,' he murmured. She only blinked in response.

He turned to speak to Bashir. 'Doctor, I wonder if you would mind taking our new arrivals to their quarters and waiting with them there?'

Bashir nodded wordlessly then herded the two girls off the bridge.

Sisko turned to Dax. 'Set a course for these co-ordinates.' He handed her a padd. 'We have one more rendezvous to make.'

Kira left her seat and went up to Sisko. 'Captain, are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?'

Journal entry; the Defiant; December 2373


Doctor Bashir ('Call me Julian') says we've had an unusual amount of stress, and that we shouldn't worry if we're feeling upset, or if we want to cry a lot. And now I'm worrying because I'm not doing either. In actual fact, I feel fine. A little lost, but fine. People are being very nice, even though I know we're very close to being at war. Well, some of the people are nice. Julian spends a lot of time with us and Jadzia seems very pleasant too, if a little more guarded. Captain Sisko talks at my left ear. Colonel Kira doesn't talk to me at all.
Julian and Jadzia couldn't quite believe our story of how we'd got out of Cardassian space. I said I just did everything he'd told me to. Before we reached Reketh Colony, Carissa and I both thought we were just going on holiday. Mother packed us on the shuttle and, when we landed, we went up to the villa. He had said he would join us after a couple of days. But when we got there, he had left me a message. I'd never read anything like that from him before, so it didn't take much to grasp that he was serious. He told me to follow his instructions to the letter - you can tell instantly when he really means something - so I did. The shuttle had its flight path pre-programmed, and we didn't really have to do anything but sit there. He probably hasn't overlooked a detail in his life. I certainly don't think he'd leave our safety to chance.
Still, I was very nervous by the time the Defiant approached us. When we left Cardassian space, I had a good idea of what was going on. He hasn't looked happy for a while. But I knew that if he'd felt the need to take us away, then something extremely serious was happening. I didn't say any of this to Carissa, as I was quite terrified enough for us both. And I still am. I don't know what's going to happen next.

Carissa cries constantly and I, dry-eyed, feign control.

The Defiant bridge; near Cardassian space; December 2373

'There's another shuttlecraft registering on the sensors, Captain,' O'Brien said. 'And we're receiving yet another coded signal.' He frowned. 'They're requesting we confirm collection of our 'package', Captain.'

Sisko checked over his shoulder. 'Transmit this in response.' He handed over the data chip which he had received from Peyta. Then he tapped his communicator, 'I want a security team down here immediately.' Within minutes four security officers were stationed on the bridge.

Sisko turned his attention back to O'Brien. 'Two to beam aboard again.' He glanced over at Kira. She seemed to be close to tears. He moved across and put a hand on her arm for a brief moment.

'If this is who I think it is...' she whispered in a shaking voice.

Sisko nodded, and they both watched as the dematerialization effect subsided. Two figures appeared on the bridge.

'Odo!' she cried softly and ran forward to greet him.

Within moments, the shapeshifter was surrounded by a circle of friends, each greeting him warmly, welcoming him back at last to freedom.

While all this had been going on, the four-man security team had fallen into place around the other figure.

'Legate Garak,' Sisko said quietly. 'Welcome aboard the Defiant.'

The Cardassian had been looking at the floor. He raised his head slowly. 'Captain Sisko,' he replied, and a bitter smile crept across his face. 'I would like formally to request asylum from the Federation.'

'You have got to be joking - ' O'Brien began.

Sisko spoke over him. 'I've been authorized to grant that request,' he said, 'And transfer you to Starbase 375 for...' he hesitated.

'For debriefing,' Garak finished with a wry face. 'I confess I have never defected before, but I can make some conjectures as to the protocol. In the meantime, perhaps you would allow me to confirm with my own eyes that Starfleet has kept their side of the bargain...?'

Sisko nodded to the security team. 'Escort Legate Garak to see his daughters. Then...' he hesitated again.

Garak smiled a little more savagely. 'Such delicacy, Captain. You'll make a diplomat yet. I believe you'll then want to confine me to my quarters.'

'I swear,' said O'Brien, 'I'm going to punch your fucking lights out.'

Garak's brittle humour disappeared in an instant and he looked at O'Brien wearily. 'That, Chief,' he murmured, 'Is quite possibly the very least of my worries.' He turned to the security team. 'Shall we go?' They headed towards the exit.

'Garak.'

The Cardassian turned round sharply at the sound of Odo's voice and looked straight across the bridge at him.

'Thank you,' said the shapeshifter.

Garak was momentarily lost for words. ''Thank you'? Whatever for?'

'For bringing me back,' Odo said. 'Eventually.'

Garak sighed and closed his eyes for a brief moment. 'Finish it, Odo,' he said. 'Please.'

Journal entry; the Defiant; December 2373

Fifteen minutes isn't very long but it was all we got. Two security guards came in with him, another two waited outside. Julian was here as well, and they shook hands and said how glad they were to see each other.

He asked me how the journey from Reketh had gone but he looked distracted. 'I can't stay long, Peyta, so we need to talk quickly. I want you to trust Doctor Bashir, of whom I am about ask a very large favour.'

He turned to the doctor, who raised his eyebrows. 'What is it you want, Garak?'

'It's going to be long time before I'll be... able to leave Starbase 375 - ' he paused and Julian's eyes narrowed. 'I want you to take Peyta and Carissa to Earth and look after them.' He shook his head. 'There's no-one else that I can ask, doctor,' he apologized.

Julian rubbed a hand across his eyes. 'Of course I will, Garak,' he said quietly. 'I'm surprised you think I might not.'

He gave the doctor a brilliant smile of gratitude, then turned back to me. 'How does a trip to Earth sound, Peyta?'

I looked back at him bleakly. 'You always said travel broadened the mind,' I eventually managed.

And that was it. The two security guards said that it was time for him to go. He kissed me very quickly on the top of my head and said that he was very proud of me - and then he was gone.

Earth. I hadn't even been outside Cardassian space until last year. And I think the Federation are about to go to war with us. I'd be a liar if I claimed that going straight to the heart of the Federation at a time like this didn't terrify me. Just how welcome can Cardassians be there?

The Defiant; eight hours from Starbase 375; December 2373

Two officers and one defector watched as Odo opened the communication channel to Weyoun.

'Founder...'

Odo's orders were crisp and to the point. Jem'Hadar troops currently stationed in the former Klingon territories were to take no more orders from their erstwhile Obsidian Order superiors - and these superiors were to be put under immediate arrest.

Sisko watched as Garak put a hand to his face and he knew that Garak was thinking of the Cardassian settlers in those territories, now completely vulnerable and open to reprisals.

Odo caught Garak's movement too. On no account, he added pointedly, and to Weyoun's obvious disappointment, were the Jem'Hadar to take any action against Cardassian civilians.

'Starfleet will be sending in troops to secure those areas and return them to Klingon control,' Sisko put in. It was meant to reassure Garak, so he was not prepared for the contempt in the look Garak gave him.

'How typical of Starfleet to come to the aid of their allies only when all their enemies have disappeared,' Garak said in disgust. 'The Obsidian Order may be opportunistic, but at least we aren't hypocrites.'

Kira lost her temper, all her doubts about the Federation suddenly vanished. 'You really think you can compare Starfleet to your gang of murderers? It's only Starfleet that's kept your hands away from Bajor's throat over the past few years.'

'Oh please.'

'And what do you mean by that?'

'Colonel Kira, you must have been aware that Bajor was a natural first target for a newly powerful Cardassian Union. Did you never once stop to consider who it was at Obsidian Command that was protecting you?'
Kira looked at him with incredulity. 'Oh, so now we're supposed to feel grateful to you?'
Garak's eyes blazed in fury. 'I have sacrificed everything...!'
'You're a butcher, Garak,' Kira cut in viciously. 'The Obsidian Order has caused the death of millions upon millions of people!'
There was a pause as Garak prepared himself for an angry response but, into the gap, another voice quavered a single question: 'Father?'
All four adults swung round to see Carissa standing at the entrance to the ready room. It was clear from her expression that she had heard the bulk of the exchange.
Garak exploded. 'Carissa, get out of here at once!' There was a brief hesitation and then the girl fled.
Silence descended on the room and the two officers and Odo looked at Garak in amazement. His self-control suddenly crumbled and he put a hand to his face.
'I think that this is something I need to go and fix,' he murmured.
'I think you're right,' Sisko answered.
Garak turned to go, moving slowly. Then he turned back, and spoke quietly. 'I know that it is of little consequence to you, but I have done all that I can to end this war - even endangering the lives of my children...' He stopped, breathed deeply, then shrugged. 'That doesn't count for very much, I should imagine. But - please - don't throw away the chance I've given you. Put an end to all of this.'


Starbase 375; December 2374

Benjamin Sisko stood behind a force-field, able to watch the proceedings going on in the room beyond, but himself obscured from view. He heard a noise beside him and turned to see Admiral Ross.

'How's it going?' Ross asked, by way of greeting.

'Much better than I imagined,' Sisko confessed.

'Gregor Blok's a good man.'

'But I still didn't think Garak would offer information so easily.' Sisko gazed back inside the briefing room. 'There's still a part of me that suspects this is a very elaborate scheme.'

'Having read the file on him, it's tempting to agree.' Ross looked at Sisko carefully. 'Are you genuinely worried, Ben?'

Sisko frowned. 'I'm just not clear why he's defected. The man's a patriot - he's committed just about every crime in the book in the name of protecting Cardassia. Why the hell would he sell Cardassia out now, at the height of its influence?'

'Maybe he's discovered he has a conscience after all,' Ross said dryly.

Sisko looked less than convinced.

Ross sighed. 'Has Blok told him the news yet?'

'Not yet.' They both looked back at the interview going on in front of them.

Inside the briefing room, Garak sat with his arms folded, waiting patiently while Blok made sure that he had recorded full details of Cardassian forces around Qo'Nos. Not much, was the brief summary. Without the military infrastructure provided by the Jem'Hadar, the lines of control stretching out to the furthest reaches of Tain's empire was destined to crumble very quickly.

Eventually Blok looked up. 'I have some news for you, Legate,' he said. 'The Romulans signed a non-aggression treaty with the Federation this morning. We need to know how Tain will react.'

Garak gave an involuntary and rather manic burst of laughter. 'How Tain will react?' He rubbed his eyes. 'My apologies. Perhaps if you had once sat in on an Obsidian Command strategy meeting, you might find the thought of Tain's reaction as... disquieting as I do.' He breathed deeply. 'Leaving aside the fit of rage which will grip him for about a day, the simple answer is that despite losing both the bulk of his army and his major ally, Tain will not surrender a single one of the New Territories without a fight. If you want back any of the systems taken from the Klingons by the combined fleets, you're going to have to take them.'

'Take them? Do you really believe he'll fight?'

'Without a doubt.' Garak leaned forward. 'Commander Blok, Starfleet must understand what it's dealing with. Tain identifies himself with the Cardassian nation. He cannot accept a military reversal, since it is the equivalent of a personal defeat.'

'So war is unavoidable?'

'Unless you're prepared to allow Tain to consolidate his troops in substantial parts of the New Territories.' He sighed. 'The Obsidian Order was not, and never has been, a significant military strength. When we came into power, we replaced the old military, because they were our enemies, and because we had a new military base - the Jem'Hadar.'

Blok frowned. 'But that left your entire military capability dependent on continuing to control the Dominion fleet,' he said somewhat incredulously.

'Believe me when I say that I thought it very unlikely that Odo would ever be removed from Cardassia Prime.' He shifted in his seat. 'Anyway, I'm not an idiot. We replaced the senior military officials with Order men. A large proportion of the current Cardassian military is Order trained and personally devoted to Tain. Our intention was to replace the Jem'Hadar forces with this army as time went on. But I... we...' He stopped and looked at his hands, placed flat on the table in front of him. 'Not enough time has elapsed. There are enough men out there loyal to Tain to give you a fight if you encroach on the New Territories. And - believe me - these men are fanatically loyal. And their numbers will increase as time goes on.'

'So if we want to stop Tain, we have to act now?'

'That's correct.' He sighed. 'Your other option is to undermine Tain from within. When I left Cardassia, a resistance movement was beginning to coalesce around a member of the old military called Damar.'

Blok grasped the significance immediately. 'Would this resistance really fight against Tain? This would be tantamount to a civil war.'

'The old military detest the Obsidian Order, always has done. After the Order... purged the military, that rivalry became even more bitter. Of course, until now, they were no real threat.'

'But it could have significant impact if we arm them and deploy them well?'

Garak nodded.

'Is there a civilian resistance movement we could draw into this?'

'No,' Garak answered quietly. 'There is no civilian resistance left on Cardassia Prime.'

'Are you sure?'

'Oh, I'm quite sure.'

Behind the force field, Sisko shivered a little. We met some of those people, he thought. Talked to them, helped them.

Inside, Blok had not missed the meaning of Garak's words, but suppressed his distaste. Instead, he spoke in measured tones. 'As you know, Legate, Starfleet is not holding you by force. Nonetheless - and given what you've just said about the certainty of war - we very much hope that you will accept our offer to transport you to Starfleet Command on Earth.'

Garak narrowed his eyes slightly and did not answer.

'We want to continue to use your expertise and intelligence in the conduct of the war.'

Garak swallowed. Blok - as capable an inquisitor as Ross had said - recognized this tiny movement for the manifestation of great stress that it was, and merely waited for the response which he believed was inevitable.

Garak's voice, when he finally spoke, was rather faint. 'That arrangement would be... acceptable, Commander.'

Blok nodded and stood up. 'Thank you for your time, Legate. I'll ask a security team to escort you back to your quarters. If you could prepare to leave for Earth within five hours, I'd be most grateful.'

Outside, Ross greeted Blok with a nod of the head. 'Can we trust him, Gregor?'

Blok shrugged. 'At the moment, I doubt he knows that himself. But he's delivered us control of the Dominion fleets, and I suspect this intelligence on the Cardassian military will prove solid. We have a war to fight - and I think we've been handed the means to win it.'

Journal entry; Hertfordshire, Earth; March 2374

Julian's mother ('Call me Amsha') has a house on Earth just outside London, and that's where we're staying. The house is stuffed, and I mean stuffed, with pictures of Julian - Julian aged 10; Julian aged 12; Julian as a teenager; Julian in his tennis gear; Julian graduating; Julian graduating again; Julian's first Starfleet uniform; Julian as the Best Doctor Ever... When his mother wasn't there I teased him mercilessly and he had the decency to look embarrassed. I think he was pleased to get a smile out of me at last.
Julian has said he's going to be around for a few weeks to keep an eye on us and make sure we settle in all right. There are a lot of people who'd very much like to talk to us - press, mainly - and Julian's trying to keep them at bay. He's upbeat about it, says they'll soon get bored and find someone else to plague. But I think they're going to be around for a long time.

The Federation has declared war on the Cardassian Union, in order to fulfil its treaty commitments to the Klingon government-in-exile. They want to regain the New Territories. Our Dominion allies have mysteriously changed sides. The Cardassian forces are being pushed back towards our old borders. Amsha and Julian discuss this as good news, which I suppose it is. I seem to have changed sides too.

I understand that there is fighting back on Cardassia Prime, but it is difficult to get word from home. I think of mother rattling around alone in our big house in the city. I want this all to be over so that we can go back.

Starfleet Command; San Francisco, Earth; June 2374

Sisko threw down the padd that he had been reading and rubbed his eyes. To his left, Ross yawned as he reached for his mug of coffee. Even the usually imperturbable Blok looked weary and had gone so far as to open the fastenings on his jacket.

Sisko pushed his shirt sleeves up further and looked down at the far end of briefing room, where Garak was poring over a set of reports from Cardassia Prime.

I really believe he doesn't need to sleep, thought Sisko. Or maybe it's that he can't. Well, damn it - I do. He opened his mouth to suggest they call it a day, but Garak spoke first.

'I continue to be most concerned about the resistance on Cardassia Prime,' he said.

Sisko's shoulders slumped. 'It's your damned security service we're fighting,' he pointed out.

'And I was very good at my job,' Garak countered sharply. 'No wonder barely any of our weapons shipments are getting through. The Obsidian Order puts Starfleet Intelligence to shame.'

Blok rolled his eyes, having heard this many times before.

'Do you really think it's so bad?' Ross said, his main concern, as ever, the conduct of the war. 'Myself, I've been impressed with the way the resistance is operating - it's keeping a large number of troops away from the front, and they've made some effective raids on communications facilities, troop transporters and the like... Damar's proving something of a natural rebel.'

'Admiral, while I too have been astonished at Damar's aptitude for covert operations, the resistance simply does not stand a chance.' Garak tapped his forehead, laughed. 'I can picture just how it's been infiltrated - I can even guess some of the agents and where they're placed. What Damar needs is someone on the ground who knows how to counter all this.'

Blok looked up sharply. 'I think I know who you're about to suggest.'

'And why not? My talents will be of more use in the thick of things there than stuck here.'

The three Starfleet officers gave each other quick glances.

Ross cleared his throat. 'Garak, the first priority is bringing the war to a conclusion. While Starfleet is happy to assist the Cardassian resistance, it is only a means to an end - '

'Regardless of your priorities - Admiral - mine are, and always have been, the protection and preservation of Cardassia.'

There was a silence. 'Legate,' Blok said calmly, 'We appreciate that your agenda differs in many important respects from Starfleet's, but since your defection, you have had access to our most sensitive intelligence about our conduct of the war. You of all people must understand that it would be impossible for us to allow you to return to Cardassian space. If you were captured - '

'I don't believe,' Garak cut through coldly, 'that you have the authority to hold me against my wishes. I intend to return to Cardassia and no-one in Starfleet will stop me.'

Bashir's journal; June 2374

I was coming back from three months in the field and went via San Francisco to see him. When he told me his plans... Well, I exploded.

'Are you insane?'

'You're over-reacting, doctor.'

'You're going back? What in God's name for?'

'To help her, of course. Why else? I'm intending to assist Damar with the resistance.'

'Who do you think you're fooling, Garak? Just how long do you think you could sit there on Cardassia Prime 'assisting' Damar before your hands were covered in blood again?'

'Since when have you been concerned with my moral well-being, doctor?'

'Since always.'

'One day, you'll finally understand that morality has nothing to do with it - '

'And one day you'll grasp that it does. Why the hell else did you leave, Garak? Whatever lies you're telling yourself in the still hours of the night, the fact remains you left because you decided what you were doing was wrong. And now suddenly you want to waltz back to your old life and pick it up again - '

'Hardly! My life will be in a significant amount of danger - '

I gave a short laugh. 'That doesn't cut it as atonement I'm afraid.'

'Atonement?' Garak in turn laughed long and hard at that. 'Precisely when do you think I began concerning myself with 'atonement'?'

'Round about the time you defected I should guess.' I shook my head. 'I'm not here to fight, Garak.'

'Indeed, given our respective career choices, there's something a little grotesque in the spectacle of you and I arguing about morality.'

I let it pass. 'But I'm telling you that if you go back, you're making the biggest mistake of your life. You may as well not have bothered leaving in the first place.'

He was hurt by that. 'I would have thought you'd understand. You saw how it was for me the first time I was exiled... having to sit and watch from so far away, and be unable to do anything to protect Cardassia. And this time it's worse, since it is all my fault - '

'You've done as much as anyone - you're as much a hero of the resistance as Damar. So what if it's been from far away? If anything, I'm glad you're at a distance. Because whenever you're on Cardassia, Garak, all that's good in you is destroyed.'

'That is possibly the most ludicrous thing you have ever said.'

I smiled at him. 'I'm sure if we tried hard enough we could think of something else.'

He laughed, a softer and less bitter sound, and that defused the argument. But it was not an acceptable conclusion to me.

My new job takes me to a lot of different places. I see many things, meet many people. Some of them find my talents... of interest to them. And this means I can make deals with them.

Starfleet Command; San Francisco, Earth; June 2374

The door opened and Garak put down the padd he was reading. In came Blok and, with him, a smallish, sandy-haired man Garak did not recognize. The solemnity of both men's expressions impressed itself on him and he stood up to greet them.

Blok spoke first, as precise and formal as ever, still continuing to use the rank which Garak had left behind. 'Legate, please allow me to introduce Deputy Director Sloan, of the Special Operations Division in Starfleet Intelligence.'

Garak looked at Blok closely. The man's tones were more clipped than usual and Garak detected something beneath - displeasure, frustration? He was not sure.

He looked again at Sloan. Special Operations? Perhaps I do know you after all. You - or your kind.

Sloan seated himself at the table and gestured to Garak. 'Please, sit down.' Garak looked quickly at Blok, who had seated himself next to Sloan, and was clearly waiting to be called upon.

Garak sat down slowly.

Sloan began to speak. 'It's been brought to the attention of my division that you are intending to return to Cardassian space.'

'That's correct.'

'Let me disabuse you of that notion straight away. There's no way you're leaving our custody.'

There was a brief pause as Garak collected himself. 'Custody? Forgive me if I'm operating under a misapprehension, Deputy Director - '

'Mister Sloan will do.'

' - 'Mister Sloan', but I was not aware that I was under arrest. I came to Federation space seeking asylum. Unless - and I find this most unlikely - you are intending to violate the rights I hold under Federation law, I am free to leave whenever I choose. Much as I hate to... disabuse you of the notion, I am not Starfleet's prisoner.'

'From today you are.' He held up a padd. 'As of this moment, you're charged under the section of the War Crimes Act concerned with our inter-governmental obligations.'

Garak blinked and swallowed. 'Let me see that,' he whispered, gesturing towards the padd.

Sloan handed it over and watched impassively as Garak read, with increasing disbelief, through the data. 'As you can see, these are the relevant subsections from a treaty with our Klingon allies - the legitimacy of whose government the Federation has continued to recognize throughout the Cardassian occupation. The Federation is obliged to charge and hold all those suspected of war crimes and then investigate those charges. Consequently, you are to be held pending investigations into Cardassian activities in the occupied Klingon territories.'

Garak threw the padd down on the table with a clatter. 'And this is my reward, is it?' he said bitterly.

Sloan didn't blink. 'You've been in the confidence of Starfleet Intelligence for almost a year. You didn't really think we'd let you go back to Cardassia, did you?'

'I would have thought that the Federation would prefer Damar in power and Tain out,' Garak shot back. 'Any administration Damar heads will be much more well-disposed towards the Federation than the current regime.'

'I don't deny we have common goals,' Sloan replied calmly. 'Yes, we both want Tain dead. But there's no way you're going back to Cardassia to orchestrate that. You're a security risk a mile wide.'

'Sloan, I'm telling you that Damar's resistance is no match for the Obsidian Order,' Garak said urgently. 'If you really want Tain dead, you'll let me go back and make sure it happens.'

Sloan smiled, shook his head. 'I'm afraid you've got that the wrong way round. You're not running this show any more. If you really want Tain dead, you'll come up with something substantial we can use to destroy him. Otherwise... well, that's the end of the resistance.'

Garak stared back at him, all his bluffs well and truly called.

'There must have been a good reason why you left,' Sloan persisted softly. 'Something about Tain's regime you just couldn't stand any more. Are you sure you can bear to leave Cardassia at his mercy?'

Garak put his head in his hands.

'Can we finish him off, Garak?'

There was a long, heavy silence.

'There is a way,' Garak said eventually, his voice muffled.

Sloan gave the tiniest smile. 'Fire ahead.'

Garak raised his head and, as he spoke, his gaze locked onto Sloan's and it did not waver.

'Tain, you must understand, is very popular with the civilian population. He appeals to their deepest prejudices and fears, and he has exploited these ruthlessly. The Cardassian people are now firmly of the opinion that their greatest source of stability is the family, and that threats to the family must be removed.'

'Carry on.'

'Over the past few years, Tain has proven himself the protector of the people by systematically taking the rights and, in many cases, the lives of those undesirable, threatening elements in Cardassian society - homosexuals, the illegitimate... you get the idea.'

'Yes I do, and your society revolts me, but how does this work in our favour, Garak?'

'I'd say most families on Cardassia Prime have lost someone to Tain's crusade. But they've tried to ignore it, because they believe it's for the good of Cardassia. But what if...' he stopped and swallowed. 'What if it were to be found out that Tain himself were... not without sin?'

Sloan frowned for a moment, then said, 'Are you telling me - '

'I'm telling you that Tain has an illegitimate son, and that when the Cardassian people find out this fact - and who this son is - well, I wouldn't hold out much hope for the Father of the Nation.'

Journal entry; Hertfordshire, Earth; July 2374

Cardassia City burns. From this great distance, I watch the societal pyre which is the climax of our own domestic drama; the family of Tain topples, and takes the whole of Cardassia with it. On Cardassia Prime, the cities are on fire because there is civil war in the streets, friend against friend, brother against brother - father against son.

Both we and the Cardassian people learned last week of our grand connections. I would say the Cardassian people took it rather worse than we did. Three years ago they made a deal with the Father of the Nation: Deliver us, Tain, from all our evils - our dirty little secrets, our bastards hidden away from our wives, our pervert sons who will never give us grandchildren. We will sacrifice them all, because you have promised us purity and a better way of life. And so it came to pass that their children were stripped of their rights and then slaughtered - not on the battlefield, but in shootings and beatings, after late-night arrests and week-long interrogations. But the people closed their hearts to their furtive grief, since they believed in the greater good, in a nation that would be made stronger through such dedication and sacrifice. And they tried to rejoice, since they now looked out across the greatest Empire that had ever been seen.

Then it transpired that the most exalted amongst them himself had a dirty little secret, and that this secret had lived and prospered when others had been murdered, and then had turned his back on the great community which we all should serve and had betrayed it. And the people saw that there was civil war on the streets, and that their enemies were lining up at their borders, and they decided that this was no longer good.

Things fall apart, the centre does not hold. I did not know that we were the centre, although I should have guessed. I am devoted to my father - I hear him and obey him - and he, in turn, did the same. We are the line through to the interior, the dark heart of Cardassian society. I wonder what role was planned for me, and I do not regret that the centre did not hold.

I think, after all, I have read too many human books.

In Obsidian Square, the rebels have torn down the statue of Tain and, just outside the Ministry of Information, with the help of the city's civilians, they have built a gallows. And from it swings my grandfather, guilty of every crime imaginable, and my grandmother, guilty of nothing more than coming within his orbit. Guilty by association. As are we all.

Rangipo Maximum Security Prison; New Zealand, Earth; September 1st 2375

It was a cold, bright, antiseptic room. As Bashir approached, Garak smiled and stood to greet him.

They shook hands across the table. 'My dear doctor, it really is very kind of you to come.'

They sat down. 'Of course I'd come, today of all days.'

Garak checked the time. 'The constitution came into force at midnight. Cardassia has been a new republic for just over ten hours.'

'With Damar as President.'

Garak gestured around him. 'I was unavoidably prevented from offering myself as a candidate for that particular job,' he said dryly.

Bashir looked down at the table. 'I have to say that of all the fates I anticipated for you, this was not one I had in mind,' he apologized.

'Incarceration is the occupational hazard of the spy, doctor,' Garak replied with a wry smile.

Bashir nodded in recognition of both the forgiveness and the admonition.

'Besides,' Garak continued quietly, 'Not even I foresaw all the consequences of my decisions. Giving Damar the means to win the propaganda war on Cardassia Prime did not just cost me my father.'

Bashir did not reply, knowing that Mila was never very far from Garak's thoughts.

Garak gave a small laugh. 'Anyway, now I get to watch galactic events unfold from a distance. It's strange not be directing them any more.'

'It's the life most people lead,' Bashir pointed out.

'I'm sure the experience will be salutary,' Garak murmured, looking round at the prison walls.

'The terms of the surrender were very fair. Withdrawal behind pre-war boundaries, limits on remilitarization, restructuring of government to remove Obsidian influence - '

'And occupation by the Dominion,' Garak added bitterly.

'You know as well as I do that they're a peace-keeping force. Odo's answerable to no-one, neither the Federation nor the Klingons. I don't believe he would ever act out of vengeance.'

'Which is more than I deserve.' Garak sighed. 'But I still believe that if I could have gone back, Cardassia would be better placed to face the future...'

'And there would have been no real attempt to understand what happened in the past,' Bashir said passionately. 'Garak, surely you can't still think that Tain's administration was anything other than a catastrophe for Cardassia? Not just militarily, but at home. What we know now about his internal policies...'

'I of all people do not need to be reminded of that,' Garak said softly. 'I can only be grateful I'm not facing a separate set of charges from the new government on that account. I have the distinct impression that I'm someone they'd rather forget.'

'It's ironic, isn't it? Given it was your actions that put that government in place.'

'Well, I didn't really expect a reward. I shall have to be content with an indictment for war crimes.'

'What do you think will happen at the hearings?'

'Given what the weight of the evidence against me is likely to be, I think I'm going to be in prison for a very long time.' His mouth twisted into a smile. 'But as I told you, doctor, it's - '

'An occupational hazard? I hope to God it's more than that, Garak.'


Bashir's journal; January 2376

There are some events that are burned into the collective consciousness, that we all refer back to as cornerstones of our lives. When people are together and the conversation turns to these moments, we look back on them and say, 'Where were you when it happened? Who were you with?'

In this particular case, I tend to shrug my shoulders. 'I don't really remember,' I answer.

'You must remember where you were,' acquaintances say. 'Everyone remembers.' Friends change the subject, pointing out that my job at the time took me outside the Federation a great deal.

In fact, there are particular reasons why I know exactly where I was when I watched Garak's address to the War Crimes Commission. I was at my mother's with his two daughters. Carissa left the room when he stood up to speak. Mother followed her out. I sat and watched both the screen - and Peyta, out of the corner of my eye. She sat motionless, eyes fixed intently on the screen. I thought again how I didn't know which troubled me more: Carissa's obvious distress or Peyta's silent watchfulness. 

'I welcome the chance to address to this tribunal and I thank the Commission for the opportunity to speak. What I have to say I shall attempt to keep short and to the point. Contrary to the denunciations which my former colleagues have offered, I welcome this Commission, its investigations, and the forthcoming hearings. Contrary to their defences, I offer my plea of guilty as charged.'

I remember every detail of how he looked. He stood at the end of the row, at the front of the three lines of defendants, and the eyes of every single one of them bored into him with loathing for the whole time that he spoke.

'When I chose to serve the Cardassian nation, it was a choice made out of love. I did not want to kill; I did not want to go to war. I did not want my nation's name to become a byword for cruelty and mindless violence. Yet those things have happened and I have played no small part in them. As a result of this, what I hope will emerge from this Commission is the truth; what I hope to learn is how my beloved country allowed itself to become an instrument of such hate and brutality.'

And I remember every word of the speech; not just because of my memory but because I defy most people not to be able to recall at least some of that speech, which has seared itself into our minds. Garak, we should never forget, was the chief author of Tain's regime. Tain may have said the words - and said them well - but they were all Garak's. Tain may have had the gift for oratory, but Garak had the passion, the commitment, the real love for Cardassia.

'It is not enough for us to say that we loved Cardassia, because we have destroyed Cardassia. We rotted her soul, so that even at its height her greatness was illusory. We seized power - and mistook our actions for patriotism. We were opportunists - and mistook our drive for purpose. We brutalized and murdered and killed, and yet we have the audacity to claim that this was in some way connected to love?'

But what I will never forget about that speech is that as I watched, I knew that perhaps for the first time in our friendship, I had no lingering doubts about a single word he said; that all the lies and the justifications and the excuses had at last become meaningless to him, and that what mattered most was that the truth should be heard and should never be forgotten. Garak crossed a bridge that day; he broke with the person he had once been, since that person was no longer enough. Many people have commented how convenient this sudden bout of remorse was, how it saved him from a much longer sentence, or how it served to increase his stock with the Federation. But I, who am his friend, say that he always had the capacity for goodness, that he never lacked morality, all he lacked was the chance to live his life according to it. Again and again he chose love - for Tain - as his benchmark in life. When it became clear that this was not the best choice, he picked again - and this time he chose to live according to what was best about himself. And so what I will remember most about that speech is the sorrow - and the regret.