Hidden Destiny

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Fushigi Yugi or its characters.

The sun had finally gone down over Konan after what had seemed like the longest day of Tasuki's life. The young man removed the harness containing the heavy tessen from his back and laid it on the bed; his jacket soon followed and then he walked quickly to the door, anxious to see his love again.

Exiting his room, he couldn't help but think of the moment in time that had completely changed his life. He paused and leaned against the railing, staring out at the gardens.

The most amazing part of what had happened, he thought dreamily, is that it felt natural. Loving Miaka and doing things to make her happy came to him as easily as breathing. He would give up his life if she asked him to, not because he was sworn to protect her but because loving her was the only thing that seemed right in his life. He would do anything within his power to make her smile, and not feel that he was less of a man because of it.

No doubt about it, he was a changed man.

He stood looking out into the breathtaking palace grounds, idly tapping the railing with a finger while an idea formed in his mind. He glanced around to make sure no one was watching, then quickly jumped the railing and hit the ground at a run.

Miaka ran the brush through her hair, humming a tune under her breath. These past two weeks had been the best and worst of her life. Loving Tasuki had changed her, made her care about someone else's feelings besides her own; she'd do anything to make him happy and was anxious to prove that she felt that way.

Staying and living with him at Mt. Leikakou was one way she would do that. Doubts still whispered at the back of her mind but she pushed them aside; there was absolutely nothing to be afraid of. Who cared that she would be the only female there? Tasuki would have a house built just for them and she would never have to see the other bandits if she didn't want to. Nuriko could visit and she could come to the palace anytime she wanted. Feeling better she got to her feet and reached up to unbutton her blouse when she heard a knock on the door. She frowned slightly and laid the brush down; it wasn't like Tasuki to knock and she couldn't think of who else it would be.

"Come in." She called out, her hand dropping to her side.

"T-Tamahome," she gasped when the door opened to reveal his still form. "What are you doing here?"

"Expecting someone else? Tasuki maybe?" He asked coldly, coming into the room and closing the door behind him.

"T-Tasuki?" Giggling nervously, Miaka crossed her arms to hide the fact that her hands were shaking. "Why would I be expecting Tasuki?"

"Stop it." Tamahome answered just above a whisper. "Please, Miaka…. please stop lying to me! I've known about the two of you since…well, almost since it first started I guess." He smiled slightly seeing her shocked look. "I overheard you and Nuriko talking the day I couldn't find you. I've been waiting for you to tell me what's going on, but I can't do it anymore."

"Tamahome…I…."

"It's over isn't it? Between us I mean?"

Miaka nodded slightly, afraid she would break down if she moved too quickly. Tears welled up in her eyes and slowly slipped down her cheeks. "I-I'm so sorry, Tamahome. I-I love him."

"And you don't love me anymore?" He tried to grin but failed, his mouth trembling slightly.

"I do! That's why this is so hard. But it's not the same kind of love…"

"No, I won't accept that. I can't accept that." Moving quickly to stand in front of her, he grasped her shoulders roughly.

"Tamahome! You're hurting me!" Pushing against his chest, she tried to jerk away from his painful embrace.

Ignoring her he shook her slightly. "Do you hear me, Miaka? We're meant to be together. I won't let you just throw it all away. I love you and you love me. I'll prove that to you." The symbol on his forehead flared brightly as he pushed her back towards the bed.

She fell to the bed as he shoved her, bouncing slightly as she hit the soft surface. Fear filled her eyes and she once again pushed against his chest as he quickly fell on top of her. "Tamahome, stop this! I'm sorry you're hurting but I can't change the way I feel!"

"Why not? You said you loved me but now you're saying that's changed. You're right; you can't change how you feel. You love me, Miaka." He pressed his lips against hers in a bruising kiss, his tongue pushing past her lips and invading the depths beyond. Oblivious to the hits to his back he kissed her until her struggles weakened then finally stopped altogether. Then he raised his head and looked at her with all the pain that was in his heart.

When he lifted his head, Miaka gasped at the sight of the tears coursing down his cheeks. She brought a hand to her mouth, the other raising to wipe the rivulets of moisture from his face. Answering tears formed in her eyes, and all the anger and fear she had felt only seconds before quickly melted away, replaced by sadness and regret as she cried for what they had once had. "Tamahome…" She whispered.

"What did I do wrong? Tell me and I'll fix it, just please don't leave me, Miaka. You are my whole reason for living. Without you I'm nothing."

She shook her head vehemently. "I can't tell you what you did wrong because you didn't do anything. It's not something that can be fixed. My heart changed and there's nothing you or I can do about it."

Tamahome's head fell to her chest and he sobbed. His body shook the bed with the force of his grief and Miaka held him. "I'm sorry." He said when he finally calmed down. "I'm sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry I forced you to kiss me." Lifting his head once more he looked down at the woman he loved so deeply.

Miaka smiled gently and wiped the tears from his face. "It's okay. Tamahome, I love you and I always will but…."

The door opened suddenly to reveal the figure of Tasuki. He stood there, pale faced and shaking, as he stared at the sight of Tamahome lying on top of the woman he loved. He took in the way Miaka was touching his face with one hand, and how her other arm firmly wrapped around him. It was apparent from her swollen mouth that the two had been kissing. The flower in his hand silently fell to the floor as he turned to leave.

"Sorry I interrupted." He said over his shoulder.

The panicked girl quickly squirmed out from under Tamahome and stumbled to her feet. "Tasuki, wait! It's not what you're thinking!" She cried, trying to stop the angry young man.

He told himself to keep going, but as always he could deny her nothing. Halting he turned quickly, and glared at the girl standing in front of him.

"And do you know just what am I thinking, Miaka? Well, let me tell ya! I'm thinkin' these past two weeks meant nothin' t'ya. Everythin' ya said t'me was bullshit and ya never meant t'tell Tama about the two of us." Reason left him as he let his hurt and anger take over. "Don't bother thinkin' up some lie. I'm sure the two of ya had a good laugh over me. Oh look at the stupid bandit makin' a fool of himself." Tears were gathering in his eyes but he held them back, refusing to let her see how much pain he was in. "I hope ya both enjoy your lives together. I'm not stickin' around t'watch it though."

With a bitter laugh, Tasuki turned and started to walk away, then stopped again and looked over his shoulder. "I wish to all four gods that I'd never laid eyes on ya." He said hoarsely.

Miaka finally found her voice even as his words pierced her heart. "Tasuki, no! It's not like that! Please let me explain..."

Her pleas fell on deaf ears as the tall bandit strode away, not looking back, his brisk gait eventually breaking into a run. He had to get away from her now, or he would end up believing her lies.

Stopping at his room, the bandit shrugged into his jacket, strapped his tessen onto his back, and then sank to the floor, his head in his hands. His body shook as he finally let go of his emotions, shouting out his pain, letting the tears soak his hands. Stupid, he had been so stupid to believe her.

Refusing to think about it any longer, he calmed himself down and got to his feet. He wouldn't stay at the palace; if he did he would be constantly reminded of his stupidity, not mention that he couldn't bear to watch the two of them together. He would go where he was wanted; he would go home.

"You have to go after him." Tamahome said softly, helping Miaka to her feet. She had sunk to her knees after Tasuki had left, her knees no longer able to support her. Because she had lacked to courage to face Tamahome, she had lost everything.

"H-He'll never believe me." She whispered, leaning against him. "He thinks I lied to him. He actually believes I would do that to him." Her heart broke as she thought of the pain Tasuki had to be feeling right then and fresh tears formed in her eyes. "I would rather die than hurt him but that's exactly what I've done."

"You didn't mean to hurt him- it's just a misunderstanding."

"It doesn't matter!" She exclaimed pulling away from him. Taking a deep breath she let began again. "It doesn't matter if I purposely did it or not. He'll never trust me again. What am I going to do without him?"

"Nothing because you aren't going to lose him." Tamahome grasped her shoulders for the second time that night, but this time his grasp was gentle. "He's angry and hurt because he loves you, Miaka, so you're going to go after him and explain. I would do it but we both know he won't listen to me."

"But I tried to explain and he doesn't want to hear it." She whimpered, remembering his parting words. "H-He wishes he had never met me."

"Pain makes you say things you don't mean." He grinned sadly. "Trust me, I know. It also makes you do things you regret. I love you and want to see you happy above all else. He makes you happy. Don't let him run away from you."

Miaka nodded, wiping the tears from her face and straightening her back. Tamahome was right. Tasuki made her happy and she would move heaven and earth to prove it to him. She pulled away from Tamahome's grasp, intending to follow her love, but then paused a moment to turn back and look at her first love.

"Thank you, Tamahome." She whispered, blowing him a kiss. She then spun around and took off at a run to the only person she trusted to help her find Tasuki. She knew exactly where her stubborn seishi was headed and if she hurried she might be able to catch up with him. If not, she would just have to follow his trail to his end destination.

She stopped at a familiar set of doors and pounded insistently until a yawning young man opened it.

"Nuriko, I need your help."