The Marauding Five : Year Six

Chapter 3: Tessie

'Rotten Ripp?!' Remus gasped, when he saw his ex-DADA teacher.

'Huh?' Sirius said sleepily.

'He, huh, what?' James mumbled.

'What do you think they're doing?' Remus asked, pointing at the window.

'The window isn't doing anything much, Remus,' James said, wearing his glasses. 'It's doing a great job in its job--being a window!'

'I mean, Rottie down there! I thought he became a lawyer,' Remus said, eyeing Sirius. 'And lawyers don't dress in brown robes resembling tree trunks, and hats that look like they were plucked from brinjals.'

'He did,' Sirius yawned. 'He has an appointment with me today, about the landmark.'

'You mean, you actually - truly, HONESTLY - asked him to be our lawyer?!'

'Yes, why not?'

'Because, idiot, he's got a rotten brain! That's why his mother called him Rotten!' James yelled.

'It seemed to be getting better, the brain,' Sirius said carelessly. 'Besides, where'd he?'

'Rippy guy is down there,' Remus said matter-of-factly, pointing at the window.

'That's a window,' James said bluntly.

'Don't be too literal, Potter!'

'Beyond the window's just a rock and the grass,' James said flatly.

'What?'

'It's a rock. The one we usually picnic on,' Sirius said.

Remus turned to the window and stared. There wasn't anything there. The lake was as calm as, er, the unmoving sky, minus the fact that there were a couple of disturbing ripples by the equally disturbing wind who hadn't got anything better to do than to destroy the calmness.

'Guess I'm... seeing things,' Remus said decidedly but not too convincingly.

**

'And then,' Sita said, her voice dropping into a barely audible whisper, 'came footsteps.' Dan clucked his soles onto the bare stone floor, causing a rather distinct sound of a footstep. The Gryffindor house were crowding in their common room, each taking turn to tell a ghost story or any story that's eerie.

'Dan!' Thomas Macmillan cried. 'You're annoying!' Dan only snickered.

'The wolf howled loudly through her window,' Sita whispered, holding Sirius's torchlight under her chin to create the eerie face. Unfortunately, though, she has a rather bad timing for scary expressions. Dan, however, fixed this. He swung his head over and howled loudly. Like a wolf. Remus shivered.

'Dan Trevor, SHUT UP!' James snapped. 'Or I'll take points off!'

'Okay, okay!' Dan said, holding his hands up in defeat. 'Just thought it'd be fun.'

'Well, it's tiring,' Tally snapped. Dan silenced quietly and Sita continued.

'She let out a sharp, piercing scream,' Sita said, rousing her voice to entice her listeners.

A sharp, shrill and positively hair-rising scream pierced the silent darkness. Everyone turned to Dan sharply, glaring venomously.

'Trevor...' A seventh year gritted.

'I swear, it wasn't me!' Dan said.

Another high-pitched scream sounded.

'See??' Dan said. Head Girl, Millie-Dint, lighted up the candelabras to brighten the room. The Gryffindors, especially the first and second year students, shivered and hurdled together in a tight circle.

'Prefects have to protect us,' Pastilla said nervously. The unfortunate prefects and Head Girl were kicked out of the circle at once.

'Hey!' Lily protested.

'You're a prefect,' Millie-Dint said casually. 'And I'm'--she gulped--'A head girl. Oh joy.'

'Why us?' Micky Kay whined. 'I'm a NEW prefect!'

'So am I,' Cherrie-la Bott said. 'But you're a boy! I'm a harmless, helpless girl!'

'This is so unfair!' James said. 'I mean, we have only 5 prefects and one HeadGirl! And you want us to protect ALL OF YOU? Look at it this way. Only 6 people to protect the whole tower. Are you sure???'

'Yes, quite,' Michael Joht said thoughtfully. Chip Clunk racked his brains and Terrykins Splatters stared absently at the sky.

'I'll remember to break up with you,' Millie-Dint said sullenly. This had Michael thinking again.

'We, what about toublemakers? I mean, they're rubbish to us, right? This'll be their detention then!' Sarah Cepter suggested brightly. This was automatically carried out at once. The Head girl and prefects were drawn back in, the Marauders were pushed out.

'Hey!!!'

'Trouble has a price,' Nina said sweetly. Adele's eyes flashed at her angrily.

'We're not the only troublemakers in here!'

'Because you're the worst,' Tally supplied.

'The longest,' added Splatters.

'Annoying,' Jeremy added.

'Downright disturbing,' Charite added.

'Pests,' Tilla said.

'Show off gits,' Nina added sarcastically. Lily polished her wand calmly as the house gave more and more reasons (and insults) to why they are chosen over the many pranksters in Gryffindor house.

'Don't you know what risk you all are in?' James said calmly when they paused to think of more reasons.

'Nope. We have the Head on our side!'

'Let's try, say... curses?' Remus suggested.

'Or black--' Sirius was muffled by Adele.

'The Unforgiveables!!!' Lily said happily.

'You can't use them at all, dearie,' Millie-Dint said.

'Dearie?!'

'Um, kids? Teenagers? Er, friends?'

'Better, but how about Dark Arts?' James said. 'We all know what prodigy geniuses the Marauders are, don't we?'

'No, because they're all fibs,' Splatters said.

'How about our superb Keeper? And Chasers and beater? Sure you don't want them to die!' Adele said. 'That sounds a lot like a banshee wail. I thought we all wanted the Quidditch cup,' she added calmly. The Gryffindors started eenie-minnie-mini-moe.

'Let's just call Dumbledore,' Pattempt suggested finally.

BOOM!!! The portrait dor opened harshly ('YOW!' the Fat Lady shrieked) and McGonagall marched in.

'Off to the Great Hall, Gryffindors!'

**

The students stared at each other as half of the older siblings went in search for their younger siblings, to booss them around no doubt, and to get some "priases" from their friends for being 'such a responsible brother/sister!' That's just what most older brothers or sisters do anyway. Seek attention from the younger fry's friends.

'What's that?' Adele asked, squinting at the High Tables. She had some eyesight problem during the night time, though it had just started two days ago.

'A mer-chief, I think. Has that weird circlet thing,' Sirius said, 'And Neptune.'

'Any idea of what they're saying?' Lily asked.

'Sounds gibberish to me,' Remus said.

'The Mer-person said "I'll take Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. You take Slytherin and Hufflepuff,"' James translated to his friends, being good at weird languages animals and creatures and beasts use. 'And Neptune says, "No. I take Gryffindor and Raveclaw. You can have the other two. I know some kids."'

'Why are they arguing over... our houses?' Lily asked in puzzlement.

'Beats me.'

Dumbledore was standing between the two and was staring peacefully at the crescent moon and the twinkling stars. The four house heads were looking stern, fidgeting every now and then as the mer-person yell or Neptune growl.

'What about if we ask them for their opinions?' Dumbledore said. 'I'm sure they will be given a chance of opinion, right?' Stare from the two beings. Blink, blink.

'Gib, ukh, ah gib,' the merperson said. He went on and on with his 'gibs' and 'ukhs' for some few seconds.

'Thank you.'

'What did he say?' Adele whispered.

'The merperson? "Whatever,"' James replied casually.

'For such a long speech, whatever seems very out of place,' Remus said.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and turned to the sea of students. He said to them, 'The Squid - this fine, young man here'--he turned to Neptune--'and the merchief, Glippers, are declaring a war.' Gasps filled the now-silent Great Hall of Hogwarts.

'Aw, shucks, Glippers, we have fans!!!' Neptune gushed, turning to Glippers. He frowned and scowled blackly in gibberish at Neptune.

'And as he was saying,' Neptune said, referring to Dumbledore, 'we want an army to fight with. I'm taking--'

'Gryffindor!!' Glippers yelled. 'And Ravenclaw! They are mine!' He was speaking English now, much to everyone's surprise.

'No, no! Gryffindor's mine!' Neptune snapped. 'Ravenclaws are too smart for stuffed brains like you cold fishies in the lake!'

'Fish!!!' Glippers cried in an insulted tone. 'Why, you're a fried sotong!!!'

'Sotong? What on earth is that? You can't even speak in perfect English!'

'And you! You're a disgrace to the waters! You do not speak Gibberish!' Glippers yelled.

'It was you who started this fight!'

'Was you!'

'Do not!'

'I do not!'

'You do!'

'Not!'

'Do!'

'Not!'

'Not!'

'Not!'

'Do! ...Oops!'

'Hah!!' Neptune said triumphantly. 'You just admitted to that!!'

'This is getting stupid,' Remus muttered.

'GRYFFINDOR IS MINE AND SO IS RAVENCLAW!!!!' Neptune yelled. Both houses groaned. Glippers yelled back the very same words. Neptune yelled back. Glippers yelled again...

And it went on and on.

**

The next morning, Glippers and Neptune were chompping up food. They were eating chicken, duck, eggs, vegetables, puddings, noodles, cakes, spagetthis... everything! Well, almost everything. Neither of them would touch the seafood.

'Moof! Mor for gof!' Neptune called to Glippers. The merperson ignored him.

'What are they up to now?' Remus frowned.

'I don't like the way they took our tables,' Sirius said sulkily. Both the squid and merman had combined all the four houses' tables and were gobbling all the food on it. The other students weren't please with it either.

'Professor, isn't there anything we can do?' Millie-Dint asked helplessly. Dumbledore just sighed. The Marauders excanged glances. They had never seen the crackpot old wzard sigh before--never! He always had a solution to everything!

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The hall residents shuddered, especially the Gryffindors. It was the same yell they heard hast night. High-pitched, quivery and evil. It sounded, as Adele had so kindly pointed out a day earlier, like a banshee.

'Aieee!' the little girl shrieked.

'What's this... KID doing here?' Millia-Dint asked, frowning inwardly in annoyance. 'She looked barely over 5!'

'Quiet, Tessie!' a lady hushed. 'That's your daddy competing! He needs to concentrate!'

'But mummy!' little Tessie cried. The students blinked. Daddy? Mummy? Tessie? What on earth is happening???

'Neptune, will you please hurry up? You promised Tessie that you wil bring her for a tour,' the lady said gently. Neptune looked up from his food, but his hands continually stuffed more food into his mouth.

'Daddy, quick! Or I'll scream!!!' Tessie yelled impatiently. At that, Neptune shut his mouth hurriedly. His hands, though, squashed some cream puffs onto his face.

'No! Don't scream!' he squeaked, or at least, it sounded like a squeak probably because his voicebox was too muffled. 'You know you have banshee wail.'

'Daddy?' Lily said incredously, finally sounding up, looking from Tessie to Neptune to the lady beside the little girl. She began laughing at once.

'Ah! Lily Evans!' Neptune said in recognition. 'Hello, Evans! This is Tessie, my daughter. And this is Cephie, my wife.' Cephie nodded at Lily and gang sweetly, but Tessie merely pouted.

'Tessie, say how do you do to them,' Cephie said sweetly, stroking Tessie's wavy red hair gently. The girl turned away haughtily.

'They aren't from the sea! And they definitely do NOT have any royal blood in them!' the girl said snobbishly, turning her nose up. Remus considered chopping that a-bit-too-long nose.

Tessie is, of course, a princess if you hadn't gathered it yet, being Neptune's daughter.

'Spoiled brat,' James muttered. He then added, as an after-thought, 'lousy air-headed ditz.'

'Hmph!' Tessie replied.

'For a kid of 5, you're DEFINITELY rude,' Sirius said with as little sarcasm as he can but, as usual, failed.

'Sorry,' Neptune said. He paste a grin on his face when he saw Glippers stuffing himself like a pig. 'I got Gryffindor and Ravenclaw for my side!' he announced triumphantly.

'We're tools of war?' Adele said in faint disbelief.

'I believe so, dear,' Cephie said in a worrying tone.

'Where's Ripp? I need to sign the papers with him!' Sirius said in somewhat urgency. 'Excuse me...'

'Daddy, can't we leave these dirty humans?' Tessie said to Neptune.

'No.'

'Adale, can you help me finish my essay on lobalugs?' Remus asked feverishly, remembering his returned Care For Magical Creatures essay, which was a tight slap for him as a Marauder. Adele sent him a nice look which read on something like "Oh? I thought you claimed yourself a genius, Lupin!"

Remus replied with another glare, "Hey, I can happen to do mistakes at some times!"

To which Adele had glared back with, "HAH! A genius never does any mistakes!"

"Why you...!!!"

"BLEH!"

And anger sparks were flying between the two of them. Their eyes, at least. James grinned as he took a step forwards, by means of breaking the electricity of thoughts. Adele shot him a wonderously ugly glare with her violet eyes that seemed to seep up souls.

'Nope, I'm not sorry that I break this spat of yours,' James said very cheerfully, 'but really, Marauders? Fight? Over homework??'

Lily had took it to herself to end it with a cackle of laughter. Remus and Adele sent each other another glare before marching off with silent daggers. Cephie did a "hmph!"

Cephie sigheed, stroking her daughter's hair gently. 'Tessie is really rude.'

'Mummy, I am not!! NOT RUDE!!! I AM NOT RUDE!!!!!!' the girl practically bawled, kicking and plumeting her arms like a madman--er, mad girl.

'So, are you two free? It's Sunday,' Neptune said hopefully to James and Lily. The two stared at the sky, rolled their eyes a bit, shake their heads, stared at the stone floor, shake their heads, turn to some busy-body staring first-years who aren't obviously familiar with the two, maded a scary face and turned to Neptune.

'Yes, and yes?' Lily said quizzically.

Neptune, Cephie and Tessie blinked.

'Yes, we are free.'

'And yes, what do you want us to do?'

'Oh! Um, can you er, babysit Tessie for a while? My wife and I have a meeting to attend,' Neptune said.

'Babysit...?'

'As in, sitting on the baby?'

'Um, maybe he means the other way round, James.'

'Baby sitting on us. Right?'

'No, it doesn't SOUND right...'

'So we get to sit on the baby?'

'No, maybe the baby sits on us.'

'Er!'

'Actually, it's just taking care of Tessie,' Cephie said awkwardly, wondering what on earth these two teenagers are actually up to.

'OH!' they chorused in amazement.

'Well, sure,' Lily said uncertainly. She do NOT like this rude kid, but it'll be just as rude to refuse. Um, right? Right.

'Thank you, dear,' Cephie said, smiling softly. 'Now, Tessie, be good, okay?'

'Yes, mummy,' Tessie said sullenly. Her parents left straight for Dumbledore's office without much worry. At least, Neptune wasn't worrying. He knew Lily and James were a lot to put up for in these sort of responsibilities.

'So. Little miss dragonfire, huh?' James said with regarding boringness. Tessie ignored him superiorly.

'Would you like some muggle sweets?' Lily said, offering some sherbet lemons from her robes pocket and shut James's mouth (he was about to say 'I thought those were mixed with Bertie Botts's Every Flavoured Beans!'). Tessie turned her nose up at it. Lily deeply wanted to cast a mind-control spell on her, but decided against it.

James prised Lily's fingers off. He cleared his throat a little. 'Take one, it's nice!'

Tessie gave them two a deadly glare. Lily and James very nearly sent her a few nice daggers to pin her to the wall.

**

BANG.

'What do you mean I'm an idiot? You're an even bigger one!' Glippers yelled, standing up on his feet. His flippers had disappeared, being too long on land. They'll reappear when he touches the water again.

'If I'm a bigger one, then you're the biggest!' Neptune replied smugly.

'Dear,' Cephie said gently. Dumbledore, too, looked a triffle troubled.

'How'd I get myself into this?' Sirius moaned from his hiding place in the closet. He'd been looking for Rotten Ripp when he heard noises from ... somewhere. He couldn't well place WHERE, because he was quite sure that he had, instead of heading to the lake, directed himself to the kitchens.

Anyway, he was VERY inquisitive. He took refuge in this closet (he hadn't realized that it was Dumbledore's office) and spied.

Now he's stuck with not even the slimmest chance of getting out. Those mermen with spears outside looked like they couldn't be tempted with chocolates...

**

Tessie's shrill laugh rang through the air when Lily dodged the Gobstones' foul liquid. Whoosh! SPLAT! Whoosh! SPLAT! And by the looks of it, the toy isn't near giving up on hitting its target yet.

Lily may be the smartest kid in school (she'd mastered her Potions), but she's never one for general knowledge. Explains also the reason why she's a little cuckoo in her head, as in missing the top half of her deck and all. She's Gobstones' favourite target, to summarize it all.

'Look, James! Lily's such a silly!' Tessie giggled, sitting on James's lap. Lily fumed.

'You very well know that I'm not,' Lily replied hotly, sending a dagger at James, barely missing Tessie.

'She's not. Lily's the'--James gulped, eyeing the dagger--'smartest witch ever. Good in everything BUT general knowledge. Call it a fault of life.' Lily lowered her glare and kicked the Gobstones just to remind it that it's dealing with a genius at the moment. The toy, however, being a toy, ignored her.

Tessie frowned inwardly with disgusting hateness. 'James, can you tell me how you turn those Slytherins into volcah - er, VOLCANOE - of polka dots again? Please? Pweety pweety please?' the little girl said, her voice dripping with sugar and honey and those huge emerald green eyes staring with pure innocence.

'Well...'

'Excuse me? It's my plan,' Lily said in faint annoyance.

'Oh, yes, sure it is,' Tessie said with honey dripping sarcasm. Lily bared her teeth. Truly, this young... BRAT... is boiling her blood.

'Well, it is.'

Tessie let out a bloodcurling scream of shriek, frightening all the innocent ears of the Gryffindors who are sitting peacefully, minding their own business in their common room.

'I say it's James's idea, so it's his!!! I'm a princess so I decide!!' the girl - or brat, whichever you may prefer - yelled. Taken aback by surprise, Lily grumbled an audible 'fine...' in annoyance.

Too bad, Lily couldn't curse that girl for good. Or make her dizzy. Suppose she will look impressive, flying around the Hogwarts castle backwards...? Or maybe bounce upon the pillars in the dungeons like a ping-pong ball, too? But noooo!!!! Neptune might get angry with her! Kids... bah! They're so annoying!

So as James related the tale of how the Slytherins happen to have volcanoes on their notorious white faces and polka dotted skin, Lily amused herself by dodging the non-giving-up Gobstones.

Lily dodged another ball (or perhaps, a wanting-to-be ball?) of glob. It flew on and on and hit Tessie squarely on the face. James laughed. The Gryffindors grinned. Tessie fumed. Lily rolled over with uncontrolable laughter.

'Why, you- you low-classed, useless, STUPID witch! How dare you- you- you--'

'You,' Lily said helpfully.

'You PURPOSELY let that- that- that--'

'That?' James suggested. Tessie seemed pretty raged with a lot of word loss to her memory.

'That THING touch- touch- touch- touch me!' Tessie shrieked in rage.

'It's only a game,' Lily giggled childishly.

'You insolent witch!!! I shall get my father to behead you! Yes, he shall CHOP your head! PAM! And you're history!!!' Tessie yelled furiously. Lily giggled even more at the seemingly comic graphics of Tessie's images on chopping the heads and the sound effects.

'Er,' the Gryffindors gulped. The whole room was silent, save a couple of Lily's giggles that seem to be fading into a sarcastic echo of mad laughter. No one talk of death in Lily's face. Not unless, of course, you happen to know magic of all sorts, which is VERY rare and needs a price of its own, too. Shortly, not unless you're the Marauders of Hogwarts, currently in their sixth year at the moment and living somewhere with evil parents and weird going-ons everyday, which include talking to self in a seemingly empty room.

'Shut up, you stupid witch!' Tessie yelled. She's now jumping up and down and doesn't really look pleased with the echo of Lily's sarcastic laughter. She would resemble a monkey of some sort, if she were to be in a background of flourished trees and so.

The Gryffindors shivered as James slowly crept away quietly.

'Pardon me, but I think my ear has gone wrong,' Lily said very sweetly.

'YOU ARE STUPID, you HAG!'

'So, I'm a hag, aren't I?' Lily whispered. It sounded deadly. Very cold, on the edge of the cliff and nearing afterlife.

'I will get daddy to behead you! CHOP!!! He will! PAM! He will! BOOM! And you'll say goodbye to your pitiful life!' Tessie cried, stomping her feet. Lily's lips curved into a sinister smile.

'I think not, dearie. Lily Evans isn't really that easily killed with a CHOP or a PAM or a BOOM, you know. I'm a good witch, and I know it very well, but thanks for making me reminding you,' Lily whispered, the unearthly aura surrounding her figure. All the Gryffindors rolled their eyes in a manner which read "Miss Ego's back again!" Lily coughed a little and adopted a much cheerful tone, 'Well, for all your know, I might kill you first!'

Tessie snorted. 'You? Kill me?! I'm a princess!' Tessie said, flipping her hair. Her little diamond tiara shone brightly, as if to confirm her statement. Little as it is, it still drew admiring gasps from the girls. 'I'll behead you. Daddy will.'

'Oh, really? I'd like to see you getting near me, then,' Lily said mockingly. James frowned, realizing that Lily's just going to make the girl mad and their stupid babysitting job tough.

'Tinker, Tinker. I KNOW that you'll be finishing her off in just a second, but it's not really NICE, you know,' James said. Lily glared at him, her eyes clearly saying "I've had enough patience, thanks, but I think the tank is kind of empty at the moment. Kindly buzz off to the flowers, Prongsie, before I get to you. AND DON'T CALL ME TINKER!!!"

'Hah!' Tessie smirked at James's comment. 'James is siding with ME!'

'Nope,' Lily said simply.

'Yes.'

'Actually, it's no. Get it? N-O no. Or you haven't learnt your alphabets yet...? Pathetic, really.'

'Hullo!!! Lily, what's with the death glare? You're not looking deadly - you're looking FUNNY!' Adele trilled, skipping into the common room. She noticed Lily's aura. 'Okay, now that's deadly. Er, am I at the wrong place? Or maybe at the wrong time? Perhaps, too, both?'

'Nope! You're at the right place, at the right time, and do you want me to help you check-in on your reservation for tickets?' Lily said cheerfully.

'Tickets will be fine, yes, good. How much?'

'Fourteen knuts?'

'Ten?'

'No, twelve.'

'Okay.'

'What's this conversation for anyway?'

'I don't know.'

'Neither do I,' James said in puzzlement. 'What exactly is happening?'

Lily drew her wand out. 'Well! I'm sure Crucio is a perfectly legal spell, isn't it? That is, of course, unless I get mixed up with the future I see before me.'

A nerdy-looking boy pushed his glasses to th bridge of his nose.'Well, it was first legal, and then, in 1496, it was said as the most dangerous spell, thus, illegalised. Later in year 1780, month of Farthing - or December, in our case - they decide that it isn't really very dangerous after all, so--'

'Gee, thanks Willpoy. I didn't need the history, though.'

'AND,' Willpoy finished, 'it's legal.'

'Good! I'm planning to teach this little brat a lesson,' Lily said sweetly. The Gryffindors grinned a little. Lily waved a casual flick with her wrist. 'Come on, James, Adele, Remus. It's time we find Sirius.'

'Where's Remus?' Adele asked.

'There.' Remus grinned sheepishly as he crawled out of the dusty closet he was hiding in.

'I'm not done with you yet, Lupin!!!!'

'Eat a green pill will you?'

'Green… what?'

'Pill. I decide that you need medication.'

'Quit it!' Lily demanded. She waved her wand again. To Tessie's surprise, she was levitated very suddenly and very roughly flown after four Marauders.

**

'Hello, Neptune! I'm sorry to inform you that your daughter's manners are getting a little too much for me,' Lily said cheerfully, opening the door. She paused for a while, seeing Dumbledore and Cephie sighing in relief by the Marauders's appearance. The merman guards with spears turned to them threateningly. 'Um, what did I interrupt?'

'Nothing, nothing,' Neptune said with a wave. The guards backed. 'Now what is Tessie up to?'

'Threatening death,' Remus said, grinning broadly. 'She's lucky, I tell you!'

'Anyway, Lily was wondering if you'll allow her to bump Tessie a bit,' Adele said.

'She had already did so though, in case you're about to object to that,' James added, staring in amusement at Tessie's bruised head. Lily had purposely bump her to the ceiling, to make her unconscious. Not that she need to, anyway, because Tessie had fainted when she found out that she was floating.

'My poor darling!' Cephie cried, noticing Tessie high above them. Remus was trying his best to revive her with some spells.

'Well, she's not a really nice girl,' Dumbledore said with an etched frown. 'I told you that it was a mistake to adopt her! A half banshee at that, too!'

'Adopt?!'

'Why, yes, I did adopt her. Just married last year,' Neptune grinned.

'Not blood-related, right?' Lily said.

'Nope.'

'Good!!! Never a better news!' Lily cheered, pulling her sleeves up. 'It's time for her death now!'

'No! Don't, please, Lily Evans. I promised the orphanage that I'll take good care of her,' Cephie said. 'For a few years, anyway. A pity she is such a spoiled beauty. Sorry for the inconvenience, dear.' Lily shuddered at the last word.

'I'm not a deer, thanks. But we'll see how well she can behave if you let me poke my wand at her! One crucio or imperio and I'll be furnishingly happy!' Lily said, glaring at the half banshee. Neptune chuckled.

'I'd rather not let you use it,' Dumbledore said with a little twinkle in his skyblue eyes.

'You'll sooner or later conquer the world! Like You-Know-Who, maybe!' Neptune added with a distinct giggle of amusement.

'He's a dark wizard. I'm a white witch!' Lily protested.

Tessie's eyes fluttered open. She blinked into consciousness. 'Daddy!!!!!! Lily tortured me! Execute her, daddy! She hit my head! Kill her daddy, hurry!'

'No, Tessie,' Neptune said firmly.

'I WANT LILY EVANS DEAD!' Tessie yelled. And the little brat opened her mouth to let out a shriek.

'Silence, you insolent, rude creature!' Glippers boomed suddenly. 'You have been nothing but a wailing, foolish child! My own daughters, only three, had much exquisite manners than you do!' He turned to the Marauders, 'Perhaps Miss Evans and Mister Potter here will wish to meet them, yes?'

Tessie's mouth gaped speechlessly at the merchief. 'Me? Rude?! Foolish?! How dare you!!!'

'How dare I!? Yes, I dare very much, you stupid wretch! I should ask my subjects to teach you manners!!!' Glippers yelled.

'Black! What are you doing in my closet? Sleeping, too!' Dumbledore cried in happy amusement when Sirius's body rolled limply onto the floor when the closet door burst open.

'Stupid dog,' Remus muttered, giving his friend a kick as she stepped over to rummage the closet for a boggart. Adele poked at Sirius's eye.

'Hey, get up,' Lily said, rolling Sirius over. 'I can't believe he can take the hard ground so lightly.'

'Daddy, I want ALL their head off!' Tessie yelled.

'You are a disgrace to princess!'

'Bad manners, pah! I'm the princess, so I decide!'

'AVADA KEDAVRA!!!' James yelled suddenly. The room fell silent as everyone looked around to see who was killed. 'Yes, this is much better. Can we keep at this?'

'I want all their heads off!'

'Wake up, Padfoot!'

'My slaves have even better manners!'

'I thought that they were having an argument…'

'SILENCE!!!' James yelled again. 'Honestly, I'm getting a headache! Give me some peace, won't you?'

'Daddy, I want him to be my servant!' Tessie cried, pointing at James. Lily's head felt hot and rumbly.

'Servant?! James isn't for sale!' Adele said in laughter.

'I say so!'

'I think not! You'd better not make me do something that you'll regret, Tessie!' Lily shot.

'BLEH!' Tessie stuck her tongue at Lily. Lily pushed a dungbomb into her wide open mouth. 'MMFPH!!!!!!!'

The stinkbomb exploded and the smell of dung was horrendous. Dumbledore opened the window to air it all out.

Tessie opened her mouth to yell, obviously not giving up because of just one dungbomb.

'Colourisa!' Adele laughed.

Tessie paused to see what had happened to her. Eyes intact, nose still there (Phew! That dungbomb sure smell!), mouth in the right place (yuck, yuck, YUCK!!! Disgusting dung taste!!!!), ears, arms and legs are normal and no additional body parts. Tessie whipped her head to glare at Adele, before noticing that her red hair had turned… BLUE?!

'YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!' she shrieked in fright. Everyone stuffed their ears with cotton until she had gotten over her fright.

'Amazing!' Remus applauded, making Tessie angrier.

'SHUT UP!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!!!! I want James to be my servant!!!'

'And why, must I ask?' Lily said sweetly.

'I like him and he will be my servant!! He's MINE!' the snotty princess cried. Lily grimaced.

'Cru—'

'Miss Evans, I think you could do with some tea, yes?' Dumbledore suggested, holding a teacup to her. Lily took it gratefully.

'Thanks! Much appreciato!' Lily said cheerfully, fixing a glare at Tessie. She gulped the tea. 'Now, for her royal highness…'

'Er, what's going on in here?' Sirius asked sleepily. He yawned and ruffled his hair.

'Good morning sleeping dunderhead,' Remus greeted, smiling broadly. He had something on his wand's tip. 'Hey Tessie, look here.' Tessie turned to him and let loose a piercing banshee wail when the boggart began shifting itself. It turned into Lily. A very frightening looking Lily, complete with an evil grin and a mischievous glint in her deep green eyes.

'Someone's afraid of Lily!' Adele sang. Lily said nothing, but smile and calmly pushed her robes sleeves up, advancing towards Tessie…

**

'So! The whole argument. What is it about, exactly?' Dumbledore asked cheerfully on everyone has settled down. Glippers and Neptune grinned at each other.

'Well… Nothing!' Neptune chuckled. 'We weren't arguing about anything!'

'The reason of this argument is… Nothing?' James said, eyes widening. The two nodded in agreement.

'We thought that things need some brightening up,' Glippers said.

'What a waste of time,' Adele frowned.

'No. It's charming to get to know Princess Tessie here,' Lily said, smiling sweetly at the body-binded Tessie. The other girl glared.

'I'll teach her her manners soon,' Cephie sighed.

'Oh, your contract, Mr.Black,' Neptune said, pulling out a crumpled and seemingly sat piece of parchment. Sirius took it solemnly (much to everyone's amusement), surveyed it and signed it. He handed it back.

'Deal,' he said solemnly like a dead rock in the business like way. 'The furnitures I'll ship … someday.'

'Fur of the Tures?' Dumbledore said in confusement.

'Furnitures, professor,' Adele repeated.

'Whatever for?'

'It's, er, for our room,' Remus said hastily. 'We're redecorating our room.' Dumbledore nodded.

'And does it need legal papers?' James whispered sarcastically to Remus. Remus jabbed him in the stomach for that smart remark.

'Say, would you like you babysit Tessie again? We can fix a price,' Neptune said hopefully.

'Dear! How could you?' Cephie cried with a horrified face.

'Or maybe my mermaids,' Glippers offered, as Neptune was reasoning with his wife how the Marauders can improve her attitude and such.

'And would you like to risk them getting Imperio?' Lily asked devilishly.

'Thanks, but no thanks,' James said. 'You can bring them in anytime you want though, right, Dumbly-dore?'

'It's Dumbledore, Mister Potter, but I'll overlook it this time.'