Disclaimer: JK ROWLING'S! But, I am my own…and slush is her own…the other
people, I'm not sure about…hmm.
*****
EEP! This is Percy, and I'm only here because of Slush's cute butt…did I say that out loud? Oh well, what the hell, I will just have to answer, and then maybe they'll let me go. I hope they aren't too personal, or rude…
(AN: Man, is he gonna be pissed. Oh well, only about a billion of the questions I actually submitted myself…Percy is so hot…as are the twins…and Bill…and Charlie…Not forgetting Ron. Oops, gushing, time for Q/A session…Poor Percy.)
*****
Dear Percy,
Are you free for a quick shag on Saturday afternoon? Oh, and two other things... First: Have you seen the fics you're in? You're being written as the Perfect Prefect Slut. Does that give you apoplexy, or what? And second - may I try on your glasses? I want to see if your prescription is stronger than mine. ~Charon~
~Dear Charon,
What a silly question, of course not. I'm dating Penny, and nothing will change that…wait…do you look anything like a Veela? I could make an exception, but the answer would still most likely be no. I'm FAR too busy with work.
Perfect Prefect Slut?! That is absolutely sickening! I am so glad I have not seen these 'fics', even though I am answering these letters for something similar. And, to the glasses question, no you may not. They're magical and if anyone other than their owner wears them, they will go blind…I must try that out on the twins…or Soda/Slush…
Thank you for writing to me, even though your questions were impertinent, disgusting and so immature they made me smile internally. I hope you manage to grow up before you take any important muggle examinations, and you should really stick to your own glasses.~
*****
Dear Percy,
Is fact or fiction that you and Fudge are dating. Cuz WTF?!?! And exactly how do you feel about incestuous acts? Hmmmm? Do they make you all warm and fuzzy inside? Or is that just one of you're brothers? Wait scratch that.... I can't see any of the Weasley family being into incest.... after all you are the main characters in the books.... they should be named after you're family.... or at least after Fred, George, and Charlie. Anywayz, um.... do you have special uses for your wand? Do you know exactly what the powers of the lightsaver is? And why does Luke never put it down? Is it cuz it has sexual powers? Are you a virgin like you're sister? It doesn't count if you're shagging your family.... ~Slush puppy~
~Dear Slush puppy,
You're one of the evil people keeping me and my family here aren't you? Couldn't you at least provide better accommodation, where I didn't have to share beds with Charlie and Bill. No, Fudge and I are not dating! That is disgusting! I don't care if you're the author, I won't answer your questions. Good day to you!
Percy definitely prefers Bill. They go well together, and they are sharing beds after all! This is Fred by the way. How mean not to finish the mail, so I thought I'd fill it in for you Slush. Lightsaver is some kind of weapon in the muggle film…Star shores or summat. Sexual powers…well, if it does, Percy needs it desperately. Who is this Luke guy? Maybe we could link him and Percy up with their own Lightsaver…hmm. Interesting idea…Anyway, bye miss Slush with the cute butt!~
*****
Percy...what is your opinion on pretty pink underwear. Good/bad/turn on/turn off?
Would you f*** Lucius Malfoy to get a better position at the ministry...hell, would you just f***? You prissy git.
We know you like incest...but who's the favourite sibling to commit it with? Huh, well, who? You can't say Fred or George, cos we already know they're great F***s (slush knows that well!)
And lastly...do you have a snazzy belly button like me and slush? Is it an inny or outy belly button? Mines an inny...and is now all strawberry like cos I just had a shower with strawberry bubble stuff! It was fun...but my skin is all pink cos it has dye in it...oh well. Will be interesting to walk around with pink skin and my newly acquired blue hair...who knew that would happen when I put the blue hair dye in my hair? ~Canihavea-soda~
~Dear Canihavea-soda,
You're the other one keeping me here. Pink underwear…on whom? Penelope, turn on, Bill, turn on, Lucius Malfoy, good, anyone else, except maybe Hermione, bad and turnoff. Well, these aren't as rude as some I've had…f***?! You think I haven't? Penelope and I have been together for long enough…and the Prefect's dorm are very private. Sorry to quash your little power trip, but you're a virgin, and I'm not!
As I already stated, I will not answer questions like that, about THAT!
And, belly buttons…right. Well, OK, weird question, but at least not rude. I have an inny one…outy ones are gross…and it smells like peppermint, or so Penny tells me. Pink skin and blue hair! I can laugh at you…blue hair! Hahahah! The tables have turned…shit…noooooo! You are so dead you evil authors!~
(AN: He should have learnt not to annoy us by now. I made his hair rainbow…will keep it like that until he apologises…hope will not be long. Those fiery locks are so luscious…swoon, swoon).
*****
Dear Percy,
Can you hook me up with Bill? Me and my friend (also female) are considering a little fun with your older brother and some chocolate sauce, some silk scarves, whipped cream, cherries, booze, those hot little leather outfits... and other stuff. Thanks, and if you're really nice we might even send you pictures of the event. ~Starbrat~
~Dear Starbrat,
Excuse me? But this part of the letter writing is about me, not my brother and hooking people up. I'm not a bloody agony aunt…like that muggle woman…Cilla Black. How could you even want to go out with Bill, he's not that great…not with girls anyway. Girls turn him off…unless they're attached to something he really wants…then the charm turns on…ahem. I really don't want to know about your fantasies.~
(AN: What kind of chocolate? He likes white…and he likes red leather…good luck. Percy is so far back in the closet, it's amazing he can see to write this!)
*****
Percy how many times have u shagged Penelope (yes it is part of my business because I can hear u every time I go to the.... bathroom *hides Oliver*)
and is it true that u shagged Mr. Crouch with Penelope in the secret room behind the library's biggest bookshelf? ~Gothicelfchild~
~Dear Gothicelfchild,
Look, what is it with you people and my sex life? Do you have none of your own of which to speak, or are you just sad losers who find it erotic to hear about my sexual experiences? In answer, none of your goddamn business! Let's just say enough, OK? And Mr. Crouch, eww that is almost as bad as you insinuating someone sleeping with a house elf! Will you please just go out and get yourselves some kind of lives, instead of asking about mine.~
*****
HOLY crap! I think we may have pissed Percy off. Well, the next one is going to be Ron, because he refuses to be last again. So, get your questions for him in, and if there are any questions for other characters which you would like to ask, just Review and we'll try and get them to answer you. And if there are any more for Ginny and Percy, we'll see if we can just fit them in somewhere at the beginning/end of another chapter. Bye, and R+R!
Yay, Henry's house for a week. Will try to get to a computer when there, but can't promise anything. See ya when I get back peeps, and have fun with Fred and George, won't you Slush? Play nicely now children. BYE!!
PS: Squee, I have a boyfriend, la la la la la la la!!
*****
EEP! This is Percy, and I'm only here because of Slush's cute butt…did I say that out loud? Oh well, what the hell, I will just have to answer, and then maybe they'll let me go. I hope they aren't too personal, or rude…
(AN: Man, is he gonna be pissed. Oh well, only about a billion of the questions I actually submitted myself…Percy is so hot…as are the twins…and Bill…and Charlie…Not forgetting Ron. Oops, gushing, time for Q/A session…Poor Percy.)
*****
Dear Percy,
Are you free for a quick shag on Saturday afternoon? Oh, and two other things... First: Have you seen the fics you're in? You're being written as the Perfect Prefect Slut. Does that give you apoplexy, or what? And second - may I try on your glasses? I want to see if your prescription is stronger than mine. ~Charon~
~Dear Charon,
What a silly question, of course not. I'm dating Penny, and nothing will change that…wait…do you look anything like a Veela? I could make an exception, but the answer would still most likely be no. I'm FAR too busy with work.
Perfect Prefect Slut?! That is absolutely sickening! I am so glad I have not seen these 'fics', even though I am answering these letters for something similar. And, to the glasses question, no you may not. They're magical and if anyone other than their owner wears them, they will go blind…I must try that out on the twins…or Soda/Slush…
Thank you for writing to me, even though your questions were impertinent, disgusting and so immature they made me smile internally. I hope you manage to grow up before you take any important muggle examinations, and you should really stick to your own glasses.~
*****
Dear Percy,
Is fact or fiction that you and Fudge are dating. Cuz WTF?!?! And exactly how do you feel about incestuous acts? Hmmmm? Do they make you all warm and fuzzy inside? Or is that just one of you're brothers? Wait scratch that.... I can't see any of the Weasley family being into incest.... after all you are the main characters in the books.... they should be named after you're family.... or at least after Fred, George, and Charlie. Anywayz, um.... do you have special uses for your wand? Do you know exactly what the powers of the lightsaver is? And why does Luke never put it down? Is it cuz it has sexual powers? Are you a virgin like you're sister? It doesn't count if you're shagging your family.... ~Slush puppy~
~Dear Slush puppy,
You're one of the evil people keeping me and my family here aren't you? Couldn't you at least provide better accommodation, where I didn't have to share beds with Charlie and Bill. No, Fudge and I are not dating! That is disgusting! I don't care if you're the author, I won't answer your questions. Good day to you!
Percy definitely prefers Bill. They go well together, and they are sharing beds after all! This is Fred by the way. How mean not to finish the mail, so I thought I'd fill it in for you Slush. Lightsaver is some kind of weapon in the muggle film…Star shores or summat. Sexual powers…well, if it does, Percy needs it desperately. Who is this Luke guy? Maybe we could link him and Percy up with their own Lightsaver…hmm. Interesting idea…Anyway, bye miss Slush with the cute butt!~
*****
Percy...what is your opinion on pretty pink underwear. Good/bad/turn on/turn off?
Would you f*** Lucius Malfoy to get a better position at the ministry...hell, would you just f***? You prissy git.
We know you like incest...but who's the favourite sibling to commit it with? Huh, well, who? You can't say Fred or George, cos we already know they're great F***s (slush knows that well!)
And lastly...do you have a snazzy belly button like me and slush? Is it an inny or outy belly button? Mines an inny...and is now all strawberry like cos I just had a shower with strawberry bubble stuff! It was fun...but my skin is all pink cos it has dye in it...oh well. Will be interesting to walk around with pink skin and my newly acquired blue hair...who knew that would happen when I put the blue hair dye in my hair? ~Canihavea-soda~
~Dear Canihavea-soda,
You're the other one keeping me here. Pink underwear…on whom? Penelope, turn on, Bill, turn on, Lucius Malfoy, good, anyone else, except maybe Hermione, bad and turnoff. Well, these aren't as rude as some I've had…f***?! You think I haven't? Penelope and I have been together for long enough…and the Prefect's dorm are very private. Sorry to quash your little power trip, but you're a virgin, and I'm not!
As I already stated, I will not answer questions like that, about THAT!
And, belly buttons…right. Well, OK, weird question, but at least not rude. I have an inny one…outy ones are gross…and it smells like peppermint, or so Penny tells me. Pink skin and blue hair! I can laugh at you…blue hair! Hahahah! The tables have turned…shit…noooooo! You are so dead you evil authors!~
(AN: He should have learnt not to annoy us by now. I made his hair rainbow…will keep it like that until he apologises…hope will not be long. Those fiery locks are so luscious…swoon, swoon).
*****
Dear Percy,
Can you hook me up with Bill? Me and my friend (also female) are considering a little fun with your older brother and some chocolate sauce, some silk scarves, whipped cream, cherries, booze, those hot little leather outfits... and other stuff. Thanks, and if you're really nice we might even send you pictures of the event. ~Starbrat~
~Dear Starbrat,
Excuse me? But this part of the letter writing is about me, not my brother and hooking people up. I'm not a bloody agony aunt…like that muggle woman…Cilla Black. How could you even want to go out with Bill, he's not that great…not with girls anyway. Girls turn him off…unless they're attached to something he really wants…then the charm turns on…ahem. I really don't want to know about your fantasies.~
(AN: What kind of chocolate? He likes white…and he likes red leather…good luck. Percy is so far back in the closet, it's amazing he can see to write this!)
*****
Percy how many times have u shagged Penelope (yes it is part of my business because I can hear u every time I go to the.... bathroom *hides Oliver*)
and is it true that u shagged Mr. Crouch with Penelope in the secret room behind the library's biggest bookshelf? ~Gothicelfchild~
~Dear Gothicelfchild,
Look, what is it with you people and my sex life? Do you have none of your own of which to speak, or are you just sad losers who find it erotic to hear about my sexual experiences? In answer, none of your goddamn business! Let's just say enough, OK? And Mr. Crouch, eww that is almost as bad as you insinuating someone sleeping with a house elf! Will you please just go out and get yourselves some kind of lives, instead of asking about mine.~
*****
HOLY crap! I think we may have pissed Percy off. Well, the next one is going to be Ron, because he refuses to be last again. So, get your questions for him in, and if there are any questions for other characters which you would like to ask, just Review and we'll try and get them to answer you. And if there are any more for Ginny and Percy, we'll see if we can just fit them in somewhere at the beginning/end of another chapter. Bye, and R+R!
Yay, Henry's house for a week. Will try to get to a computer when there, but can't promise anything. See ya when I get back peeps, and have fun with Fred and George, won't you Slush? Play nicely now children. BYE!!
PS: Squee, I have a boyfriend, la la la la la la la!!