The Wait
by Rien
Standard disclaimers apply
Chapter 3: Between the Smiles
I will never forget the day I saw the kitsune showed emotions. Imagine, a walking block of ice has emotion after all, you just need to push him. Push him to the limit.
I cried that night until my tears dried out. I cried myself to sleep and dreamt the past. The past where everyone hates me, where everyone doesn't want me. My depression is slowly eating my soul slowly, as if punishing me. I woke up with the dreams still buzzing through my mind.
I can't take it anymore!!!
I tossed the bedsheets aside and went to the bathroom, grabbed the razor in the medicine cabinet. The razor that can drive away the feeling of numbness in myself as my depression slowly turns to hatred. I sliced and sliced until the pain seeped through me like fire and keeping my depression at bay.
I still went to school the next day and ignored everything that happened last night. I figured that if I were to remain as my natural self, nothing would matter but I was wrong as always. Yohei was the first to ask of my condition.
*flashback*
"Hanamichi, didn't you sleep last night? Your eyes are sore.."
"Nyahahahaha, nothing's wrong with the tensai!!!! Nyahahaha..." I laughed as hard as I coulod to convince him that everything was alright.
He looked at me and smiled. I guess the tensai is a great liar. His eyes saw the bandage on my wrist and gasped.
"Hanamichi, what happened!" he said, craddling the wrist with his hands. I easily snatched it away and smiled.
"It's nothing, uhmmm...., a cat, yes a cat scratched me yesterday when I helped it. It's not that serious, don't worry.."
I seemed to convince him as he shrugged and smiled again.
*end flashback*
Tensai huh? I'm the self-proclaimed tensai with a mask that reflects my ego. Always laughing, always smiling like I can never smile no more. Yes, the self-proclaimed tensai is just the little kid that needs no one and doesn't trust anyone, even his friends.
The basketball practice came on as usual but I winced as the ball accidentally brushed the newly opened wound on my wrist. The bandage is showing signs of blood seeping through and I have to change it quickly or the others will notice. I made an excuse to go to the bathroom. I grabbed my extra bandages and ran towards the men's room to change it.
As I walked out of the bathroom, I felt I was being watched. I looked around and saw the icy gleem of blue eyes that haunts my dreams as well. He narrowed his eyes then continued dribbling the ball to execute a perfect lay-up, as usual. I shrugged and grabbed another ball and practiced by myself.
I was my usual self that day. I laughed and proclaimed myself as the tensai. Slapped by Ayako's fan many times and called Rukawa as kitsune as always and received Gori's punches as well making sure that everyone thought that I was alright and everything is fine and dandy.
But I felt those icy cold eyes keeps staring at me with intensity that gave me goosebumps. His famous statement do'aho is still there but it meant something more that plain words. I shook my head to clear it and started to practice again. I didn't pay anymore attention to the kitsune.
The practice ended smoothly. Nobody asked what was wrong.
"Hey, Sakuragi, want to join the rest of us? We're going to Danny's to eat."
I looked and grinned. "No thanks, I don't have any money with me, gomen.." I bowed my head and walked away. I wanted to join them but I don't want to burden them tonight. Not when my tears are threatening to escape and my mask would shatter in fron of them. I don't want anymore pity.
I walked and walked until I reached my humble abode. The icy wind reminded me of the icyness of Rukawa's glare whenever I looked at him with as much intensity. What is it with that guy? Why am thinking of him like this. He only sees me as a fellow basketball player, just a pawn towards winning his goals. only a selfish bastart with insensitve heart. And he looked at me with pity, WITH PITY!
I shuffled through my bag to find my keys when a shadow moved from the dark. Then all of a sudden, I was staring to the icy blue eyes of Rukawa Kaede. He stalked towards me like a hunter hunting for his prey.
"What do you want Kitsune?!"
"Answers" that was his response. A simple request that I cannot acknowledge. He wanted answers, nothing more, nothing less.
"Why should I give it to you?" I said, walking pass him. I quickly opened the door and went in.
I know he was still there waiting for me to go out, but I don't want to give him what he needed. I don't need him to comfort me. I need nobody!
Some things are meant to be kept rather than shown...
by Rien
Standard disclaimers apply
Chapter 3: Between the Smiles
I will never forget the day I saw the kitsune showed emotions. Imagine, a walking block of ice has emotion after all, you just need to push him. Push him to the limit.
I cried that night until my tears dried out. I cried myself to sleep and dreamt the past. The past where everyone hates me, where everyone doesn't want me. My depression is slowly eating my soul slowly, as if punishing me. I woke up with the dreams still buzzing through my mind.
I can't take it anymore!!!
I tossed the bedsheets aside and went to the bathroom, grabbed the razor in the medicine cabinet. The razor that can drive away the feeling of numbness in myself as my depression slowly turns to hatred. I sliced and sliced until the pain seeped through me like fire and keeping my depression at bay.
I still went to school the next day and ignored everything that happened last night. I figured that if I were to remain as my natural self, nothing would matter but I was wrong as always. Yohei was the first to ask of my condition.
*flashback*
"Hanamichi, didn't you sleep last night? Your eyes are sore.."
"Nyahahahaha, nothing's wrong with the tensai!!!! Nyahahaha..." I laughed as hard as I coulod to convince him that everything was alright.
He looked at me and smiled. I guess the tensai is a great liar. His eyes saw the bandage on my wrist and gasped.
"Hanamichi, what happened!" he said, craddling the wrist with his hands. I easily snatched it away and smiled.
"It's nothing, uhmmm...., a cat, yes a cat scratched me yesterday when I helped it. It's not that serious, don't worry.."
I seemed to convince him as he shrugged and smiled again.
*end flashback*
Tensai huh? I'm the self-proclaimed tensai with a mask that reflects my ego. Always laughing, always smiling like I can never smile no more. Yes, the self-proclaimed tensai is just the little kid that needs no one and doesn't trust anyone, even his friends.
The basketball practice came on as usual but I winced as the ball accidentally brushed the newly opened wound on my wrist. The bandage is showing signs of blood seeping through and I have to change it quickly or the others will notice. I made an excuse to go to the bathroom. I grabbed my extra bandages and ran towards the men's room to change it.
As I walked out of the bathroom, I felt I was being watched. I looked around and saw the icy gleem of blue eyes that haunts my dreams as well. He narrowed his eyes then continued dribbling the ball to execute a perfect lay-up, as usual. I shrugged and grabbed another ball and practiced by myself.
I was my usual self that day. I laughed and proclaimed myself as the tensai. Slapped by Ayako's fan many times and called Rukawa as kitsune as always and received Gori's punches as well making sure that everyone thought that I was alright and everything is fine and dandy.
But I felt those icy cold eyes keeps staring at me with intensity that gave me goosebumps. His famous statement do'aho is still there but it meant something more that plain words. I shook my head to clear it and started to practice again. I didn't pay anymore attention to the kitsune.
The practice ended smoothly. Nobody asked what was wrong.
"Hey, Sakuragi, want to join the rest of us? We're going to Danny's to eat."
I looked and grinned. "No thanks, I don't have any money with me, gomen.." I bowed my head and walked away. I wanted to join them but I don't want to burden them tonight. Not when my tears are threatening to escape and my mask would shatter in fron of them. I don't want anymore pity.
I walked and walked until I reached my humble abode. The icy wind reminded me of the icyness of Rukawa's glare whenever I looked at him with as much intensity. What is it with that guy? Why am thinking of him like this. He only sees me as a fellow basketball player, just a pawn towards winning his goals. only a selfish bastart with insensitve heart. And he looked at me with pity, WITH PITY!
I shuffled through my bag to find my keys when a shadow moved from the dark. Then all of a sudden, I was staring to the icy blue eyes of Rukawa Kaede. He stalked towards me like a hunter hunting for his prey.
"What do you want Kitsune?!"
"Answers" that was his response. A simple request that I cannot acknowledge. He wanted answers, nothing more, nothing less.
"Why should I give it to you?" I said, walking pass him. I quickly opened the door and went in.
I know he was still there waiting for me to go out, but I don't want to give him what he needed. I don't need him to comfort me. I need nobody!
Some things are meant to be kept rather than shown...