Misty: sorry, laziness has a price of its own :P YES, I do prefer to call you Misty for short!!!! [mwahaha] anyway, you hadn't died of depression yet. Need help? *grins broadly* anyway, you'd BETTER send me that fic so I can see where we're at now!

Lady Louisa: NOT best author, NOT good author, YES bad author, YES worst author…

Taracollowen: glad you liked it!! Arguments good? Maybe weird would fit :P

SAKURAnTOKYO: I got the chapter up!! :) are you going to tell me that you can't wait for the next chapter again?

Milkyweed: a chapter not being hilarious? Neither can I. Maybe. But it could be because my memory is short :P

Cristina: Fishy is Moony and Moony is Fishy! Should we call Remus Fishy or should we call him Moony?

Hermione2: *bows elegantly, Marauder style* my pleasure! Hope you didn't have a tummy ache from laughing too much! I was laughing at my friends and their Valley Girl Syndrome until my cheeks hurt and I had to put ice on them!

QueenOfTheQueer: how did you hiccup and talk at the same time?? I never could manage it!

CherryBlossomz008: HAIL TO THE MARAUDERS!!!!! Lol :P if they actually live forever and ever, the world will soon see destruction!

Rini: if I kill myself, I won't let ANYONE take it over *grins* why? Because I would have written the whole thing already on paper and get my darling friend MT to type it out and post it for me—it's all on my will! But really, I haven't written all yet, meaning that I won't die anytime soon. Want me to die? Aw, too bad! It's a fors fortis if I ever do ^^

~*Crystal Lily*~: wanna see them [Tally & Dan] get married??? :D I do!!! And I can't wait to see how cluttered up the household will be! Mwahaha!

Ashlynn Black: Not first years—they THINK they are :)

To those who'd never reviewed but sent me mails and messages:

Peter: Conversation… do you always come online at this time? :)

Andria: Don't scare me again!!!!!!!! And have I ever mentioned that your name almost resembles a certain friend of imagination of mine?

Pschan: gomen ne, I haven't had ICQ installed in my old computer [the one I'm using at the moment]

Noelle: BLEH!!!!! ^_-

Sweet Thang: sorry!!! I was too busy!!!!

Disclaimer: Aliens, parallel universes, angels and whatsoever don't belong to me at all, so how do you even expect something as good as Harry Potter to be mine??? See, exactly my point!

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The Marauding Five : Year Six

Chapter 8: Cat Out Of The Bag

Sirius yawned tiredly in the sixth year class of Arts and Crafts. All sixth years are required to take two new classes with choices of Arts and Crafts, Wonders of the World, Political Issues, and Muggle Theories.

Arts and Crafts is, well, arts and crafts. Wonders of the world centres on the geographical state of the Earth or whatever that has to do with Geography in the Muggle world. Political Issues is self-explanatory. Muggle Theories are all about the muggles' theories on science, world, galaxy and the universe in general.

The Marauders had picked Arts and Crafts and Muggle Theories, being lazy wizards and witches that they are.

Arts by Professor Krishna Vart, an oriental man was… interesting. For the first few lessons anyway. After three lessons of the same dull jokes and continuous rants on his Asian culture, Sirius began feeling the effects of sleeping in class.

Who cares how you make a stupid pottery anyway? It's not like anyone would know the difference if he magicked it out of thin air! But no…! Professor Vart said that art must take time and patience!

Hah. Like he, Supreme Sirius Black, has any patience to spare!

'Hey James,' Sirius said, turning to his friend. James snored peacefully in reply. Sirius pinched the boy's face. No effect. Sirius ran his quill's feather on James's cheeks, hoping to tickle him to wake. Still no effect.

'I swear, you'd die sleeping someday,' Sirius muttered, getting bored. He turned to the lycantrope on his left. 'Remus. Hey Lupin, get up.'

Unlike James (or maybe the opposite of James…? Well, in a way), Remus got up easily. He blinked blearily at Sirius. 'Whaddyou want? Pranks? Dungbombs? None to spare today.'

'Wake Adele up,' Sirius instructed. Remus grudgingly shook Adele harshly. Sirius turned to Lily, who was next to James. He pulled out his wand and prodded on Lily's head with it.

'OW!!! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO POKE MY HEAD WITH A WAND???? MY HEAD MIGHT GET ALTERED AND I'LL TURN STUPID, YOU DUMB DOG! OR HADN'T YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO OUR FIRST YEAR BOOK, CHAPTER ONE WHICH READ IN BOLD OLD ENGLISH FONT "INTRODUCTION TO WANDS"???' Lily shrieked, jumping to full wake, her green eyes blazing with fire.

'Actually, no. I kind of skipped that chapter.'

Professor Vart and about half of the class looked up at her.

'Haha, you'd just indicated that you slept in his class!' Sirius whispered gleefully. Lily glared.

'Miss Evan, have you been—'

'Sleeping. Yes, I have, but we're learning about Arts, aren't we?' Lily said, putting on a sweet angelic smile. Sirius and Remus cackled silently.

'Exactly, Miss Evans, but—'

'Sleeping,' Lily started solemnly with great stress, 'is also an art. Which is why our creator made us able to sleep. I'm sure nature sleep too, right? Right? Yep, I knew it.' Lily hadn't really waited for a reply - she'd just made up her own conclusion. 'So do we. Sleeping is a sacred art in which you mind, soul and body is well rested and far, far away from the hustle world we live in. also, it…'

'She sure has a theory pretty fast,' Remus mused in amusement.

'I don't believe a single word that she say at all,' Sirius said flatly. Remus rolled his eyes.

'When do we?'

'My point exactly. Anyway, if she convinced Professor Wart, we might all have the privilege of sleeping for the next four weeks in this lesson.'

'Which is also a good thing,' Remus chirped, staring at the sleeping James and Adele. 'We're all sleepy.'

'…so that's why sleeping should be an art. No. Wait, I rephrase it. It is an art, only that not many practise it,' Lily concluded after five minutes. She turned her bright green eyes at the teacher imploringly. 'Don't you agree with me?'

Vart seemed to be thinking pensively. Finally, he said in his Indian accent, 'You are correct, Miss Evans! You have an exclusive point! Beautiful!' Turning to the class, he announced, 'Alright class, we will be practising the noble, forgotten art of sleeping in the next few weeks!'

'Great job, Lily!' Sirius cheered. Lily merely plopped back into her seat, placed her arm on the table and slept almost at once.

'I think she did it for the sake of herself,' Adele said tiredly, rubbing her eyes. 'She was up last night, doing Merlin Knows what.'

'Oh? And pray, how did thou come to hold such knowledge?'

'She wasn't in her bed.'

'Neither was James,' Remus added. 'How could they possibly ransacked the kitchens without us???'

Sirius frowned. 'How come I didn't notice anything?'

'Because you were snoring like a pig,' Remus cackled.

'Ssh! Sleep!' Vart hissed. Sirius rolled his eyes.

'Yes, Professor Wart,' Sirius said sarcastically before lying on his table face down, nonsensical questions swimming in his head.

**

'Helloooo!!! James!!!!' a child's voice called in a singsong manner. The portrait door burst open and a little girl of five with wavy red hair skipped into the room.

All Gryffindors present in the common room stared at her formlessly, thoughts racing across their minds. Who is this kid? What is she doing here? And how in the name of brave Godric did she get past the Fat Lady anyway?? That crappy old painting wouldn't allow anyone in without the password!

'What are you doing here, kid?' HeadGirl Millie-Dint said in a rather annoyed tone.

'Where's James?' the smaller girl demanded. 'I'm here to find James! WHERE IS MY JAMES???'

Millie-Dint was about to make a smart comment about the hated Marauders of Hogwarts when James's head popped out of the fireplace suddenly. A few second years who were gathered there for their project shrieked out in shrill tones. Lily, Sirius, Remus and Adele's heads followed after.

'Did someone call?' James asked, stepping out.

'You would've thought he heard it,' muttered a second year to his friend.

'Yeah. It sailed all the way to the detention room, didn't you know?' Sirius grinned. 'We have super ears!!!!!'

'Sure you do…'

'Why, yes I do! Thanks!'

'No you don't!'

'You just said I do.' The second year shook his head. In annoyance of not being believed, Sirius tossed a dungbomb at him.

'James!!!!!!!! I miss you darling!' the "kid" cried, running to him.

'In Merlin's name, what on earth is Tessie doing here???' Lily yelled in horror, recognising the girl almost at once. Once a nightmare, always a nightmare. Tessie was Lily's only living walking nightmare, besides the other premonitions her kindly Inner Eye had sent through her dreams.

'How'd she get the password?' Adele said distastefully. She had hardly any liking for the rude, half-banshee, adopted Princess Tessie of Neptune's kingdom in the sea, joined to the Hogwarts lake.

'Who's she again?' Sirius said blankly.

'The girl we terrorised a couple of months ago. Remember Neptune?' Adele said.

'Ohh. THAT spoilt brat.'

'I'm NOT a spoil brat!' Tessie yelled hotly, hugging James even tightly.

'Unfortunately, you are,' Lily said. 'Too bad. Hah.'

'I'll have you beheaded!' Tessie snapped before shutting her mouth hurriedly. Lily isn't the kind of person you can yell death threats with, amongst all the Marauders.

'Well, can you please get her out?' Millie-Dint frowned.

'No! I'm here to take James as my servant!' Tessie said, throwing her head proudly as if it's the smartest thing she had ever thought of. Which could be. The Marauders and all the listening Gryffindors coughed loudly.

'Excuse me?'

'Yep!' Tessie grinned triumphantly.

'Do you mean your, um, what was it again?' Remus asked, choking behind giggles.

'Servant. Like mummy and daddy!' Sirius was turning purple from the laughing gas in him.

'You mean husband?' he gasped.

'Yes, that is it.' Sirius, Remus and Adele burst out laughing. Lily stared ahead calmly. James was, well, horrified.

'You HAVE got to be kidding!!!' Adele giggled, 'I mean it's impossible!!!! Totally unheard of!! Ha ha ha! James – haha – you have a new – hahaha – girlfriend!'

The image of James being a husband was absurd.

'Um…' was all James could say.

'Tessie, you can't!!!' Sirius laughed. 'I mean, James is engaged!'

The last word caught the whole house's attention at once. The spectators were now looking very, very interested. The most interested is probably the Gryffindor sixth years. Tally, Nina, Pertsy, Sita, Dan and Thomas were gaping and, should a bee be looking for its beehive, would have flown into their mouth.

Remus and Adele stopped laughing at once. Sirius, seeing as he's the only one laughing, stopped too. A deadly silence followed.

'Um, what?' Sirius said at last.

'You're in big trouble,' Adele muttered. 'Really big. Best I can do is wish you luck.'

'What? What did I just say?'

'JAMES IS ENGAGED?????? TO WHOM??????' Dan yelled at once.

'Unbelievable! So young!' Michael Joht gasped. Millie-Dint tapped his shoulder.

'Speaking of which, you never proposed to me,' Millie-Dint pouted.

'Er…'

'Who's James engaged to?' Pastilla Thore squealed. 'Tell us, tell us!'

'Lily,' Sirius replied automatically. The Gryffindors gasped.

Remus shook his head sadly at his friend's prompt respond. The disadvantages of spontaneity and distractions… sigh… Sirius, Sirius: open mouth, insert foot and dungbombs.

'Surely- surely not Lily Evans???' Nina cried, pointing at Lily, who was currently looking very white. Either she's slow at catching up or is racing through her quick brain at how to murder Sirius Black. Chances are that it is the latter.

'Is there ANY other Lily?' Sirius replied sarcastically. Adele and Remus could sense their friend's stupidity aura clearly now. If it were to put to a contest of "Universal Award of Dumbness," it would win the grand prize for more than 50 years in a row.

'Really? You mean, James proposed to her and stuff???' Pertsy said happily. She cast a look at Lily. 'But Lily isn't wearing any ring…'

'Oh, that. It's—'

'Just a joke,' Adele interrupted hastily, noticing Lily and James's seemingly murderous face. It seems like they have found out how to kill their life-long friend.

'Yes!' Remus added before Sirius could object. 'Lily isn't even wearing any ring now, is she? Nope!'

'James can be my darling husband,' Tessie said brightly, pulling a face at Lily.

'Actually, no,' James said with disgust, pushing Tessie away.

'You're mine, James! You can't say no!' Tessie said stubbornly. Lily, who had just recollected herself from her flaring anger, rolled her eyes in a dramatic way and burst out laughing.

'What are you laughing at?' Tally said. 'Your boyfriend's SUFFERING and you're letting him go JUST LIKE THAT?'

'Sirius,' Lily choked in a hiccuping manner, 'and all of you. You seriously believe that this is actually some novel in making, huh?'

'Sort of,' Neyl Francois said cheerfully. 'I'm noting this in my notes! And I'll write it! It's a story in making!'

'Tessie, get off me! I'm not gonna marry you of all humans in the world! I don't even want to marry anyone at all!' James said franticly.

'But James is marrying Lily!' Sirius protested.

'No I'm not! There's such thing as free speech and it'll all depend on ME!' Lily retorted.

'Your mum won't be pleased about that,' Adele said.

'Hah. Like I care. She can kick me out anytime she likes to now!' Lily said with a smug smile. 'Because sooner or later, they'll be living with us!'

'Oh? How?' Remus said.

'Get off me Tessie!'

'The Marauders have their problems…' Neyl scribbled.

'Lily, no matter you like it or not…'

'THIS IS A FREE WORLD, SIRIUS! SHUT UP BEFORE I REALLY MURDER YOU!'

'The Marauders argue and argue… Neyl Francois writes this down eagerly to be written as a story in future…'

'TESSIE! GET OFF ME!'

'What exactly is happening???' Millie-Dint yelled loudly. 'I'm so confuse!' Naturally, HeadGirl always have a say in everything. So does Millie-Dint.

'Lily and James are OFFICIALLY engaged,' Sirius announced. 'So stay off those two friends of mine, or answer to ME.' He produced several poisonous looking potion vials from his pockets threateningly.

'Yes. Go on.'

'James is mine! Lily'll be beheaded!' Tessie cried, eager at the thought of ridding Lily.

'I'm not an item!' James yelled. 'And no one kills Lily that easily!'

'Oh? Because you'll run in to save her first? How sweet,' Tally cooed.

'Next,' Millie-Dint sighed.

'I am NOT engaged to James Potter!' Lily shrieked. 'I'll poison whomever who propose to me!'

'Any more?'

'I'm writing a story of this!' Neyl said eagerly, waving her notebook.

'Is that all?'

'SIRIUS IS GOING TO DIE SOON!!!!!!!!' Remus and Adele chimed. 'Thanks to his big, fat mouth. Hah!'

'That'll be a relief to the universe if all you Marauders die,' Millie-Dint said wanly. 'And I guess that's just all then. Very well. Say Michael, what about us?'

'Huh?' Michael said dumbly. Millie-Dint sent him a glare. The boy fumbled. 'Uh, oh, um… Millie-Dint, my dear, sweet friend – um, girlfriend! – and supporter of many years, my source of happiness, will you marry me?'

'There's no ring, no flower and no traditional down-on-one-knee,' Terrykinns Splatters commented. 'Man, how can you live through that, Millie?'

'He's got a point, dear,' the Gryffindor HeadGirl sighed. Her boyfriend thought for a while before pulling a flower from the vase and transfigures the vase into a ring. The boy went down on the traditional down-on-one-knee, held out the ring and flower, and repeated what he had said with less stammers and stutters.

'So will you?' Michael asked hopefully.

'Thanks!' Millie-Dint squealed, taking the flower and the ring.

'Millie! Will you or will you not?'

'It's a custom that should the girl receive the gifts offered, it means that she accepts the proposal,' Sita said. She paused uncertainly. 'I'm right, aren't I?'

'I… guess so,' Millie-Dint said. The Gryffindors cheered loudly (Tessie-James incident is forgotten for a moment—a moment!)s as Millie-Dint pecked shyly on Michael's cheeks. The boy flushed.

'James, won't you do that to me too?' Tessie asked, turning her dull green eyes at him. Her eyes rather reminded James of Lily. But lily's green eyes are bright and had that evil glint (especially when it comes to devising various cruel jokes). He studied her a little longer. Tessie's wavy red hair rivalled Lily's, though the latter's one always swept in curls at her ankles, thanks to Lily's fear of cutting hair.

'Sorry, nope, out of your mind. Like I said, mess with either of them and receive my potion!' Sirius said at once, rushing to James's rescue though not intended.

AIEEEE……………! The ear-piercing wail of the banshee filled the room with its torturous note.

'You do as I say,' Tessie said sharply. 'Or I'll scream again!'

Sirius, without another word, emptied one of his vials into her mouth.

'What is that?' Adele asked curiously.

'Takes place in 24 hours,' Sirius said with smug confidence, 'It's a spell to place a near death curse on her.'

'24 hours?! We want it to work NOW, ding-dong!' Remus said.

'Well ding-dong! I'd like to see a potion of curse to work in five minutes!' Sirius retorted. 'But still, she'll encounter AT LEAST 15 near death experiences after 24 hours.'

'Any deaths?' Adele said hopefully.

'No.'

'Ah,' Lily said. 'That's too bad. We can't help that either, I guess. Or else, Sirius'll end up in a place called Azkaban, far far away from us. But that's even better, since he deserves to be placed there.'

'Come on James, propose to me!' Tessie ordered, doing her best at ignoring the stench Sirius's foul potion gave out.

'HAH! Like I will,' James countered. 'I don't even like you! Besides, as Sirius had oh-so-kindly yelled out, though he'll die because of it soon, I am engaged to Lily Evans.' By the looks on Lily's face, once she's done with Sirius, James would be next to die.

'You proposed?' Thomas gaped. 'I mean, I thought Lily was going to poison whomever who dare propose to her, right?'

'I didn't,' James nodded in sour agreement.

'But you said—'

'Our stupid, mindless parents did the job, happy???? I'm actually betrothed to HIM!' Lily screeched.

'Aaah… case of child abuse,' Neyl scribbled.

'How perfectly true,' Adele said. 'I'm so glad you understood that.'

'James, propose to me! NOW!' Tessie shrieked, letting out another string of the sad, haunting cry.

'Get off with it, Tessie!' James retorted. 'I don't like you! I like Lily way much more than I like you—ooops!!!' The last remark had rather slipped out unintentionally. Tessie flared.

'Oh yeah??? Then prove it!' the five-year-old girl yelled smugly, positively sure that James won't. James promised to curse this oddly intelligent girl.

'Uh…'

'Yeah, prove it!' Tally said, seeing it as a rare opportunity. How often is it that you get to hear confessions from the heart—from the Marauders? Less than the appearance of blue moons. The other Gryffindors seem to get the message, too.

'Go on, Potter, how do you prove it?'

'Are you SURE about this, James?'

'He might be lying, Kate.'

'Potter isn't proving anything, I bet.'

'Prove it!'

'I very well will, then!' James fumed.

'Are you sure?' Remus asked worriedly. 'Lily's going to personally rearrange your face! Besides, things weren't very clear among the two of you! You don't really love her and vice versa…'

'You're going to do it?' Adele said in disbelief. 'Not for your pride!'

'We can very well prove to our parents that we're not stupid!' Sirius said brightly. 'Go James! Go James!'

'Well?' Tally said with a mocking eyes. 'Prove it, James Potter.'

Adele chewed her nails as James marched towards the horror-stricken Lily (who hadn't got over the shock of James announcing that he'll prove it, whatever that prove it is) and dragged her to the middle of the common room. Tessie glared at Lily but wisely kept her mouth shut.

Remus kicked Sirius.

'You're suppose to hide it idiot!'

'I am?'

'YES!'

'So…?'

'Now Lily's going to kill James… maybe skin him alive.'

'Ulp.' Sirius gulped, realising suddenly all the chaos his subconscious and blur self had caused.

As James leaned over to kiss Lily on the lips, Adele, Remus and Sirius hid their eyes behind their hands, not willing to see what Lily is going to do at all.

Lily MIGHT kill James. She always kill people (not literally) she hate intensely, but it's hard to tell about her childhood friends.

'So hah! Does that prove it???' James yelled aloud.

The only reply was wolf-whistles, whoops, sighs, cat-calls and the such echoing the large common room. The red carpeted floor shook and rumbled violently as the Gryffindors jump and stamp excitedly. Tessie's face had a look of wild disbelief and loathing. Adele, Sirius and Remus sighed in relief, wiping off an imaginary sweat off their forehead. Lily… well…

'Potter, I am going to kill you. You see if I don't.' However, she seemed to be more of at the verge of laughing at Tessie's horrified face. Hah, that'll teach that no good brat!

'Try it,' James grinned.

Tessie let out another blood curling shriek. 'I don't believe it! It's fake!'

'Eat that, youngster,' Adele snickered.

Professor McGonagall was strolling past the Fat Lady, dreaming about invisible butterflies, pastures and fat jolly cows when she was rudely interrupted by what seemed like ten action-packed Quidditch Pitch stadiums combined to form an earthquake by the scale of 9. Curious and disturbed, she climbed into the portrait hole after giving the password ('Huge Rampaging Elephants'), and wondering why didn't Millie-Dint, her trusted, sensible HeadGirl, did nothing to stop such a loud racket.

Her most hated brilliant prefects in all of Hogwarts, standing in the middle, were hugging each other in a considerably cute way (McGonagall HAD to admit that). A barely six-year-old kid was throwing tantrums and insults left and right and Adele was mercilessly trying some of Zonko's new products on her.

The rest of the house, much to McGonagall's amusement, was chanting something about James and Lily. It was quite a blur, really.

After several seconds of staring mutely and analysing it all, the professor had finally concluded the fact that James and Lily are now a couple.

Horror of all horrors. Those two are a COUPLE already??? If they ever have a kid (hopefully, not, McGonagall mumbled silently), it will certainly mean the end of her life. Joy.

On the other hand, there wasn't anything wrong with it anyway. There are couples all over the school, some even younger than sixteen. Besides, half of them are merely flings and crushes. But James and Lily being couple sounds hilarious. Two mental students trying to get everything in pieces…!

McGonagall hid a smile and left, making a mental note to herself to send a card to Rose Evans. She might do something drastic. After all, it WOULD be undeniably funny to see Lily and her mother arguing and twisting all sorts of things! The mother-daughter relationship was never good.

Yep. Mrs.Evans and Mrs.Potter are in for it. Lily and James are sure to suffer.

And with that happy "evil" thought, Professor McGonagall hummed and skipped off along the corridor.

**

'About time, official couple,' James said, gripping his broom tightly. Since the beach and an orangey sunset to end a romantic sort-of day isn't available at Hogwarts, the "official" couple had decided to fly on James's broom—with hopes that it wouldn't collapse like the lastone.

'It's about time my mother actually gets her wish come true,' Lily said sarcastically. 'Either our dear friends—Adele, Remus and Sirius—send her a little letter of congratulations or Tally will. The things they do just to place stress on me.'

'What about not marrying me, huh? You said that just now: I'll choose whom I want to marry, not mum!'

'Wishful thinking,' Lily muttered. 'I'll poison anyone who proposes to me.'

'In which no one will,' James smirked. 'And it's the same anyway.'

'No it's not! I mean, you don't call pink green or green pink, do you? Or 56 is alike 65, right?'

'We're talking about choosing fiancés,' James reminded, steering the broom towards the castle.

'Yeah right,' Lily said, rolling her eyes. Suddenly, her eyes glimmered. 'I have a plan on what to do to Tessie!'

The Marauders had kicked the snobby princess into the lake harshly, placing a sort of detector on her beloved tiara so as to 'connect' her to them. That way, they can curse her or hex her just by muttering the password and the spell.

'Oh?'

'Yep! We'll make her dance on the royal feast, sleep in for breakfast, stuff herself round during lunch and skip everywhere she goes,' Lily said brightly. 'And she'll have sore feet!'

'Maybe we can get her to dress in a clown's outfit, too,' James suggested, 'and doing cartwheels in water sounds like fun!'

They flew across the lake and heard wails, yells (possibly from Neptune and Glippers…?) and a whole lot of strong ripples and splashes on the water's surface. It seems like Tessie is receiving spankings of some sort. Or maybe going through one of her near-death experiences, judging the banshee wail.

Lily and James laughed mercilessly before entering the castle doors. That was lovely.

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AN: let's see… sports. bunny chan is in for SPORTS. her running and hopping ability actually came to use o_O now isn't that scary? Oh well, wish me bad luck for Monday!!!

I was in a rush when typing this, probably cause I was half yawning and half typing to other people on my messenger :P conversing when writing is NOT fun!

I'm looking for excuses again… ugh…