The Wait
by Rien
Standard disclaimers apply
Chapter 7: Confessions in Paper
I bandaged my hand before going back to my bed and cried again. I didn't know that I can cry like that. My wrist began to bleed again but I didn't care. I was too wrapped up to the memories replaying in my head. By the time I felt the pain of my sore wrist, the bandage was already soaking with blood. I changed bandage, wincing at the feeling of cloth brushed over the wound. I guess I slashed it too deep this time, I thought.
I didn't went to school the next day. I just stayed in the bed staring at the ceiling like something interesting is going to happen. I felt exhausted with everything. I didn't want to face him, yet. Honestly, I was scared, confused and guilty for everything. I don't know what to do. I didn't know that he would react like that. His eyes blazing with liquid fire with coldness beneath those saphire globes. I do love him.... I said to myself and cried again.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." I said it over and over again until I was satisfied that it would be alright. Then I just stared at the ceiling once again.
I stayed like that for the whole day, not eating, not sleeping, just staring at the ceiling. The memory of his blazing eyes replayed in my head like a film. Over and over again, not wanting me to have a peace of mind for just a moment. Light turned into dark when I noticed that I wasn't moving at all. I sat up when I heard a phone ringing. Thinking that it was Rukawa, I ran towards it, stumbling in the process.
"Moshi, moshi?" I said, catching my breath.
"Hey, Hanamichi, where were you? I was waiting in front of the gym when Akagi told me that you didn't practice... Did you run a marathon and you're catching your breath like that?"
"Sendoh.." my voice wavered a little. My disappointment was clearly heard by the clown in the next line. He laughed.
"Heh, you should rest. You don't sound too good. I'll talk to you some other time, ja..."
"Matte....." I tried to say something else but I heard the click on the other side. So I'm back to staring at the ceiling in my room. I didn't notice that I have fallen asleep.
The next day, I went to school with my mask intact. I wouldn't let anybody notice my pains and depression. Yohei didn't ask about the other day. He just nodded and point to the seat next to him, by the window. My mind drifted to space as the teacher explained the lesson. The day went by slowly and painfuly. he teacher excused himself to get something from the faculty room.
"Hey, Hanamichi, someone's here to see you.." Yohei said and tapped my shoulder. I loooked at the door and there he was, standing there ready to kill. His eyes were still cold and unfeeling so I just looked down. The girls in the classroom started to fawn and drool over him. I didn't notice him again until his shadow is in front of me. I looked up and saw his eyes. Those eyes that haunt my dreams as well as my nightmares.
He merely put somethig on my desk and walked away. I looked at his parting back an slowly looked at the *thing* he put on my table. The *thing* that he dropped there was a envelope that is sealed. I instantly grabbed it and stuffed it inside of my pocket. I looked at the girls who were drooling after him and smiled. I guess they didn't notice it, I thought.
I read it as the teacher starts giving his lectures once again. He didn't dare to grab the letter I was reading or my hell would break loose. I guess he can tell it from my eyes.
The letter contained the neat script Rukawa. I was so shocked at the contents of the letter that I starting to feel that I was dreaming. I pinched myself again and again to make sure that I'm not dreaming. My eyes went wide like saucers as I read the last part of the letter...
MAYBE I'M JEALOUS, MAYBE I'M POSSESIVE, MAYBE I LOVE YOU, MAYBE I'VE SAID TOO MUCH... IF THIS IS LOVE THEN I THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS TO ME EVEN IF IT WAS SHORT-LIVED. I'M SORRY FOR EVEYRYTHINg AND I PRAY THAT YOU WOULD FOGIVE ME FOR MY OUTBURST THAT DAY....
THANK YOU...... KAEDE
P.S. NOBODY TOLD ME THIS BUT...... I KNOW
I didn't know what to say. I just stared at the letter and re-read it over and over, still not believing that it was real. When lunch time came, I sat there stunned to silence. Yohei tapped me on the shoulder.
"What did it say, Hanamichi?" he said smiling.
I let him read the letter and smiled. He gave me back and motioned me to go to the rooftop. We ate there in silence.
"So you have the answer to your question, Hanamichi..."
"Nani?"
"The question that your heart wants to know..." he smiled.
Answer, the answer from my heart..... I grinned and stood up ready for the next class...
by Rien
Standard disclaimers apply
Chapter 7: Confessions in Paper
I bandaged my hand before going back to my bed and cried again. I didn't know that I can cry like that. My wrist began to bleed again but I didn't care. I was too wrapped up to the memories replaying in my head. By the time I felt the pain of my sore wrist, the bandage was already soaking with blood. I changed bandage, wincing at the feeling of cloth brushed over the wound. I guess I slashed it too deep this time, I thought.
I didn't went to school the next day. I just stayed in the bed staring at the ceiling like something interesting is going to happen. I felt exhausted with everything. I didn't want to face him, yet. Honestly, I was scared, confused and guilty for everything. I don't know what to do. I didn't know that he would react like that. His eyes blazing with liquid fire with coldness beneath those saphire globes. I do love him.... I said to myself and cried again.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." I said it over and over again until I was satisfied that it would be alright. Then I just stared at the ceiling once again.
I stayed like that for the whole day, not eating, not sleeping, just staring at the ceiling. The memory of his blazing eyes replayed in my head like a film. Over and over again, not wanting me to have a peace of mind for just a moment. Light turned into dark when I noticed that I wasn't moving at all. I sat up when I heard a phone ringing. Thinking that it was Rukawa, I ran towards it, stumbling in the process.
"Moshi, moshi?" I said, catching my breath.
"Hey, Hanamichi, where were you? I was waiting in front of the gym when Akagi told me that you didn't practice... Did you run a marathon and you're catching your breath like that?"
"Sendoh.." my voice wavered a little. My disappointment was clearly heard by the clown in the next line. He laughed.
"Heh, you should rest. You don't sound too good. I'll talk to you some other time, ja..."
"Matte....." I tried to say something else but I heard the click on the other side. So I'm back to staring at the ceiling in my room. I didn't notice that I have fallen asleep.
The next day, I went to school with my mask intact. I wouldn't let anybody notice my pains and depression. Yohei didn't ask about the other day. He just nodded and point to the seat next to him, by the window. My mind drifted to space as the teacher explained the lesson. The day went by slowly and painfuly. he teacher excused himself to get something from the faculty room.
"Hey, Hanamichi, someone's here to see you.." Yohei said and tapped my shoulder. I loooked at the door and there he was, standing there ready to kill. His eyes were still cold and unfeeling so I just looked down. The girls in the classroom started to fawn and drool over him. I didn't notice him again until his shadow is in front of me. I looked up and saw his eyes. Those eyes that haunt my dreams as well as my nightmares.
He merely put somethig on my desk and walked away. I looked at his parting back an slowly looked at the *thing* he put on my table. The *thing* that he dropped there was a envelope that is sealed. I instantly grabbed it and stuffed it inside of my pocket. I looked at the girls who were drooling after him and smiled. I guess they didn't notice it, I thought.
I read it as the teacher starts giving his lectures once again. He didn't dare to grab the letter I was reading or my hell would break loose. I guess he can tell it from my eyes.
The letter contained the neat script Rukawa. I was so shocked at the contents of the letter that I starting to feel that I was dreaming. I pinched myself again and again to make sure that I'm not dreaming. My eyes went wide like saucers as I read the last part of the letter...
MAYBE I'M JEALOUS, MAYBE I'M POSSESIVE, MAYBE I LOVE YOU, MAYBE I'VE SAID TOO MUCH... IF THIS IS LOVE THEN I THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS TO ME EVEN IF IT WAS SHORT-LIVED. I'M SORRY FOR EVEYRYTHINg AND I PRAY THAT YOU WOULD FOGIVE ME FOR MY OUTBURST THAT DAY....
THANK YOU...... KAEDE
P.S. NOBODY TOLD ME THIS BUT...... I KNOW
I didn't know what to say. I just stared at the letter and re-read it over and over, still not believing that it was real. When lunch time came, I sat there stunned to silence. Yohei tapped me on the shoulder.
"What did it say, Hanamichi?" he said smiling.
I let him read the letter and smiled. He gave me back and motioned me to go to the rooftop. We ate there in silence.
"So you have the answer to your question, Hanamichi..."
"Nani?"
"The question that your heart wants to know..." he smiled.
Answer, the answer from my heart..... I grinned and stood up ready for the next class...