Torn
By: Manigault
Rating: R
Category: CRGS
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Grissoms' Office
3:00 am
He sunk his head into the palms of his hands, both elbows pressed into the desk for support. He felt a slight ache behind his eyes, but nothing that he could not shake off once he found Sara. After his office had cleared out, he had made an attempt to locate Sara, to tell her the latest before she heard it from Ecklie or one his team. She had not returned his page or the calls he had left at both her apartment and his own. A soft tap on the door was followed by a concerned voice.
"Gil?" Catherine peered around the doorway. "Can I come in?"
Not lifting his head, he made a slight motion with one hand, and then waited for her to say what she would. When she did not say anything after several minutes slipped past, he raised his head to see if she had left. She was staring at him, clearly troubled.
"So, did Sara leave? Nick said that the last time he saw her she was with you and then I saw her storming out of the building."
"I haven't seen her since I had to inform her that Agent Gibbes and company have taken over the case."
"I thought it was something like that." Catherine said. She looked at Grissom who was trying to hide his pained expression. "Oh, Gil, you have it bad."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard what I said." Catherine said, "This case has affected all of us, but we move on when we have to. You are the expert at that." She shook her head in wonder. "You are having trouble moving on, Gil, which leads me to the question of asking you why?"
"The fact that this case started years ago, that I was the lead investigator, and that I couldn't stop this perpetrator from continuing to harm other women, may have a little something to do with it."
"I don't doubt that you feel some responsibility for these victims, Gil." Catherine decided it would probably be best to drop the subject before their friendship was injured in some irreparable manner. "We have a 419. You want me to take Warrick and Nick and check it out?"
"Yeah," Grissom said, before shaking his head. "No. I'll go with you and Warrick." He set his concern for Sara to the back of his mind, and stood. "It's a slow night."
They walked out into the hall where they came face to face with a sour faced Gibbes. "A nurse from the hospital just called me. Do you know where all of your investigators are, Grissom?"
Fairfax Hospital
3:15 am
After walking along the corridors of three floors, Sara found a room with a guard sitting outside. Approaching him with a slow smile, she motioned towards the door. "Hi. I'm here to see Erin."
The guard was one that she didn't recognize and she hoped that fact would work in her favor. He was also extremely young. He smiled back at her, no suspicion in his eyes. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I've been told not to allow any visitors."
Sara kept her face pleasant, and tried again to gain entrance to the room. "You see, I work for the Crime Lab and I told Erin that I would be by here today to check in with her and see how she is."
"You have credentials?"
Sara showed him her ID. He stepped away from the door with an eagerness that made her give him a genuine smile as she opened the door and entered the room. Erin was propped onto her left side, facing the door, eyes closed. Disappointed, Sara walked softly to a chair beside the bed and sat, hoping that Erin would wake up soon. She stared at the woman and felt sadness overwhelming her once more. Wiping the back of her hand across her eyes she was startled to find Erin's wide eyes focused on her face.
"You have news?" Erin whispered, fear lacing her voice.
"No." Sara did not know how it was best to approach the subject. "No news concerning Valerie. Not yet." She watched the woman's shoulders slump, and the light fade from her eyes.
"You want to ask me some more questions?" Erin asked with resignation. Sara could not help but admire the woman for her tenacity.
"I wanted to tell you that your case has been taken over by the FBI. They will continue the search for Valerie and the person who did this to you and your baby." She ran her hand along the bedrail. "I'm sorry."
"I already know, so don't be sorry." Erin bit her lip, and then asked quickly. "May I have your number, Miss. Sidle? I know that you understand what I'm going through and I don't feel that agent really cares."
Sara did not bother to correct her assumption, but instead reached for the blank pad that lay on the side of the table. "This is my pager number where you are most likely to reach me anytime." She handed the number to Erin, and then added. "It is probably best if you keep this between us."
"I understand and thank you." Erin tucked the number beneath the sheet and smiled slightly. "I had a dream about Valerie. She was lying in a white crib, on bright yellow sheets, smiling up at me. It felt so real."
"I'm sure that she is waiting for you, Erin." Sara said with a warm look. "You shouldn't give up hope."
The door opened and a familiar voice sliced through the room. "Sara."
Without turning her head, she stood up and reached over the rail for Erin's hand. "You take care, Erin. Do you know where you are going to stay when you leave here?"
Erin glanced at the man who had walked across the room to stand beside Sara. "They tell me that I will be here for a week or so then my parents are coming to take me to their home in Hawaii. They would have been here sooner, but they can't stay away that long from their work."
Sara nodded. She was glad that Erin had someplace to go and people to be with, to help her through her pain. After telling Erin goodbye, she left the room, averting her eyes from the accusatory ones of the guard. She was almost to the elevator when she turned to warn Grissom not to lecture her because she could not handle it right now. He wasn't there. She was surprised when he emerged from Erin's room, spoke to the guard, and then walked briskly down the hall towards where she stood. He took her elbow with one hand and punched the elevator button with the other, all without saying a word. Alone with him on the elevator, Sara stared up at the buttons moving slowly to the first floor, still feeling Grissom holding her arm gently in his own grasp.
"I had to say goodbye." She said in defense of her actions.
"Okay."
She turned to look at him, assess his mood, and found that he appeared strained, but not angry. They left the elevator and walked easily to the parking lot where Sara pointed across the spaces towards her car. "I'm over there, Gris, if it's okay with you then I think that I'll head home."
"I'll follow you so that you can leave your car there and ride with me."
"Ride with you where?"
"You'll see."