Author's Note: I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or 'Hey Mickey'. They belong to Squaresoft and Toni Basil, yada, yada, yada…….. Well, enough chit chat already. Just thought I might try another humorous fic!
Oh, one thing, this story takes place just after the defeat of Sephiroth, and Cloud and the gang are staying at the Gold Saucer to celebrate.
^_^
Hey Vinnie
By Charles Xavier
(Parody of 'Hey Mickey' by Toni Basil)
Vincent sat in bed alone in his room at the Ghost Hotel. His mind was in deep thought within the silence, yet even so, nothing could break the constant ringing of the phone beside his bed. After having rung for the tenth time, Vincent eventually took the effort to pick up the phone.
"Yes, hello?" Vincent sighed.
"HI VINNIE!" The phone was immediately drawn away from Vincent's ear, who just moaned from the person speaking on the phone, with her loud voice and big mouth. Identifying the caller was so easy it wasn't funny.
"Yuffie, what do you want? It's already midnight." Vincent replied.
"Vinnie." She paused. "Um, I was wondering…….."
"What is it?" Said Vincent.
"Can you take me out to the Gold Saucer?" She asked in a meek tone. Vincent didn't reply. "All the others are asleep. When I tried calling them all they said was 'Go to bed, Yuffie'. I know we've already been there, but I just want to have some more fun! I just can't stop! And you're the only awake, Vinnie. So will you take me? Please?"
"……….."
"C'mon, Vinnie. Now I know this may sound a teeny bit odd, but can we make this night, like…….our kind of date?"
"Go to bed, Yuffie." Said Vincent.
"You will? Will you really?" Said Yuffie cheerfully.
"No." Answered Vincent.
"Oh, thank you, Vinnie! Oh, gawd! You're the best!" Vincent could hear Yuffie screaming out in laughter. "I'll be there in less than a minute! I'm gonna put on my best makeup and clothes! This'll be a blast!" Before Vincent could respond to the cheeky ninja, she hung up the phone.
***
Vincent heard footsteps approach the door of his room. Without even knocking, Yuffie suddenly kicked open the door and rushed in the face the silent man still sitting on his bed. Vincent noticed that Yuffie looked a little different from when he last saw her with the others. But most obvious was that she happened to be wearing a Toni Basil cheerleader outfit.
'Oh Vinnie,
You're so fine, you're so fine
You blow my mind,
Hey Vinnie! Hey Vinnie!'
"Yuffie? What are you doing here?" Vincent said calmly. But Yuffie ignored him and suddenly began jumping on his bed like a hyperactive maniac.
'Oh Vinnie,
You're so fine, you're so fine
You blow my mind,
Hey Vinnie! Hey Vinnie!'
"Please get off my bed." Vincent continued. Yuffie stopped jumping and bent down to face Vincent.
'Oh Vinnie,
You're so fine, you're so fine
You blow my mind,
Hey Vinnie!'
"You're disturbing me." Vincent said once again, hoping that Yuffie would kindly leave his room. But none of his persuasions proved successful. Vincent got up from his bed and put on his boots. Yuffie got down from his bed. She only saw her red caped friend march angrily out of the room. She ran out to the balcony and saw Vincent walking down the stairs, not even stopping for her to catch up with him.
"Vinnie! Wait for me!"
"Go back to your room, Yuffie. I'm not going to take you out." Said Vincent as he carried on descending down to the first floor.
"Then where are you going?"
"Somewhere where I can be alone."
Vincent went down the dark gloomy stairs outside of the hotel. He approached the grave stones just ahead from below. Little did he know that Yuffie was hiding behind one of them.
'Hey Vinnie!
You've idled long enough,
So now it's time to go,
And venture through the stuff,
At those places I don't know.
Just why are you so tough
When you can come back here home, Vinnie?'
Vincent did everything he could to pay no attention to the aggravating cheerleader dancing round him. He approached the Station gravestone and slammed it.
When Vincent landed on his feet after coming out of the Ghost Sqauare, he came face to face with Yuffie who had already waited for his arrival.
'And when I see you weep,
It always means you're sad.
You're giving me the creeps, Vinnie,
It can't be that bad!
My heart has fell so deep,
So please don't get so mad, Vinnie.'
Vincent just walked past Yuffie and entered the Event Square. Perhaps a little entertainment would put Vincent's mind off interruptions.
Vincent walked down to the front row and found himself a seat through the noisy crowd of people. The curtains were raised shortly afterwards and ten cheerleading girls danced on the stage in a closed V form, with five of them one side and five on the other. Shaking their pompoms fiercely all over the place, the V shaped form opened and out danced Yuffie as the girls made way for her appearance.
'Oh Vinnie,
What a pity, you don't realize.
You take me through the park,
When I get you by surprise.
Oh Vinnie,
You're so sexy,
With your ruby eyes.
There's none like you, Vinnie!
Oh, what you do Vinnie, do Vinnie!
Don't break my heart, Vinnie!'
Yuffie waved and smiled at Vincent who was already leaving his seat and made his way out of the square.
Vincent entered the Battle Arena in the Battle Square. Maybe some combat fighting could release all the stress Vincent was having. How wrong he was, though. For when he entered the arena, and caught first eye of his opponent on the opposite side, Yuffie came skipping out of the shadows.
'Hey Vinnie!
Now when you draw you're gun,
You know you're gonna shoot.
The Shinra Soldiers run,
By the sound of your boots.
But after you've had fun,
There's always time to loot, Vinnie.'
Vincent turned round and stormed out of the arena.
"Would you believe that?" Said Dio when he was watching, "Guess our little friend has a little fear on cheerleaders."
"So what does that, mean, sir?" Said one of his workers.
"Replace all of our most powerful foes with….cheerleaders! Nobody can resist them!" Answered Dio.
Vincent got himself buckled up on the rollercoaster ride in the Speed Square. From what he could see, there was nobody but him on the ride. Vincent was almost getting convinced that he was finally free from Godo's annoying daughter. But when the ride suddenly stopped at the highest point of the track, desperation set in. Yuffie was seen one of the buildings on the roof nearby. After performing some somersaults and flips she leaped off the edge and landed directly onto the car in front of Vincent. At the same time doves began to fly round the couple and closed in slowly onto locked on the ride attraction. Vincent, however, didn't seem surprised by Yuffie's presence. He knew somewhere she would come and find him. The crafty girl always had tricks up her sleeve.
'So Vinnie
Are you gonna come
And give a little love?
I'm sitting here
Alone below
The shiny stars above.
Oh, please, Vinnie
Please, don't leave me
With these doves, Vinnie!'
Without panicking or hesitating, Vincent quietly and slowly unbuckled his seatbelt and jumped out of the rollercoaster, leaving Yuffie to the white birds as she tried to swipe them away continuously.
Vincent walked into the Chocobo Sqaure and made his way to the counter. Vincent would probably do anything now to put his thoughts off Yuffie for as long as possible. Vincent put his money down, ready to bet on a Chocobo for the next race. The betting girl at the counter had her back facing him. Then out of the blue, it was none other than Yuffie Kisaragi. She turned to Vincent and danced up to him.
'Oh Vinnie,
What a pity, you don't realize.
You take me through the park,
When I get you by surprise.
Oh Vinnie,
You're so sexy,
With your ruby eyes.
There's none like you, Vinnie!
Oh, what you do Vinnie, do Vinnie!
(Vincent suddenly took out his Death Penalty gun and pointed it at Yuffie)
Don't shoot me now, Vinnie!'
Yuffie shoved away the gun. The trigger had already been pulled, however, and instead of hitting Yuffie, the bullet shot right through the large TV monitor screen from above, which happened to fall from its position and crash down to the floor with a loud explosion. Smoke splashed everywhere and the place was soon in a complete mess.
Vincent and Yuffie were now outside of the Wonder Square. Their clothes were completely covered in black dust. But that didn't seem to worry Vincent much. Yuffie was beginning to cry now. Not just was her makeup and clothes all filthy, but Vincent had still refused to 'really' to take her out through the Gold Saucer. Vincent stood facing Yuffie in front, looking at her as she just yelled at him. There was no doubt that she was really getting on Vincent's nerve now. Even Chaos was freaking out.
"Vincent, just do what she says. Please! It'll make her stop singing this stupid song! I hate it! It's killing me! That girl's driving me up the wall!" The voice of the green demon cried within Vincent's mind. Vincent did nothing but stare into the angry eyes of Yuffie that were watering with tears.
'Oh Vinnie,
You're mean, you're so mean
You make me scream
HEY VINNIE! HEY VINNIE!'
Yuffie began pushing Vincent's shoulder's fiercely with her aggressive hands.
'Oh Vinnie,
You're mean, you're so mean
You make me scream
HEY VINNIE! HEY VINNIE!'
Yuffie pushed him again with even more force.
'Oh Vinnie,
You're mean, you're so mean
You make me scream
HEY VINNIE! HEY VINNIE!'
When she was about to push Vincent for the third with all her might, her hands were caughts by Vincent's.
"Okay. Okay." Vincent said softly. "You've got me. I'll take you wherever you want." Yuffie's face began to change from sad and angry to happy and smiley. She gasped in delight and hugged Vinnie as hard as ever.
"OH, VINNIE! YOU'RE SO CUTE!" She cried.
"Thank God for that." Said Chaos. "Now I can finally rest in peace."
***
"Two tickets, please." Said Vincent. Their tickets were given and the ninja and gunslinger entered the Ferris wheel. When the it began moving Yuffie sat next to Vincent. The silent man didn't seem to look at Yuffie. He only gazed upon the midnight sky outside, beyond those attractive rides, through those colorful fireworks and far past the blue clouds swimming in the sky. Yuffie stared at his empty face and only smiled.
"Don't you think the Round Sqaure's the best?" Yuffie asked. Vincent's only answer was a plain shrug. Yuffie suddenly closed up on Vincent and wrapped her arms round his waist. "Since you've done something for me, Vinnie, I think maybe it's time I did something for you." With that having been said Yuffie brushed her lips against Vincent's cheek and kissed him softly.
"Why did you do that?" Said Vincent when he faced Yuffie.
'Oh Vinnie,
What a pity, you didn't realize.
You took me through the park,
When I got you by surprise.
Oh Vinnie,
You're so sexy,
With your ruby eyes.
There's none like you, Vinnie!
Oh, what you do Vinnie, do Vinnie!
Don't break my heart, Vinnie!'
"Okay, Yuffie, I won't. I understand." Said Vincent.
'Oh Vinnie,
What a pity, you didn't realize.
You took me through the park,
When I got you by surprise.
Oh Vinnie,
You're so sexy,
With your ruby eyes.
There's none like you, Vinnie!
Oh, what you do Vinnie, do Vinnie!
Don't break my heart, Vinnie!'
"Thank you, Yuffie. Don't worry. I get the picture now." Vincent said again.
"Make her stop." Said Chaos.
'Oh Vinnie,
What a pity, you didn't realize.
You took me through the park,
When I got you by surprise.
Oh Vinnie,
You're so sexy,
With your ruby eyes.
There's none like you, Vinnie!
Oh, what you do Vinnie, do Vinnie!
Don't break my heart, Vinnie!'
"Okay, Yuffie. You can stop singing now." Vincent tried again to cease the unbearable tune generating from where they were sitting.
'Oh Vinnie,
What a pity, you didn't realize.
You took me through the park,
When I got you by surprise.
Oh Vinnie,
You're so sexy,
With your ruby eyes.
There's none like you, Vinnie!
Oh, what you do Vinnie, do Vinnie!
Don't break my heart, Vinnie!'
"Yuffie? Stop singing." Vincent said once more.
"AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!" Shrieked Chaos. "MAKE HER STOP!!!!!!!!! MAKE HER STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The End
Author's Note: Sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar errors, but I hoped you liked it! Please let me know what you think. Ciao for now! ^_^
E-mail: charlesxavier85@hotmail.com .