Elizabeth reached for the alarm clock, but then remembered that she hadn't turned it on the night before. It was Saturday, so she hadn't set it. Then what was ringing? It didn't make sense.
The phone.
She bolted upright to find the phone. Her eyes tried to focus and she realized that the phone was coming from the other side of the room. She opened her eyes and found it lying on the dresser. Grumbling, she got out of bed and made her way to the dresser. Would the damn phone just stop ringing already?
She pushed some buttons before finally hitting the right one.
"Hello?" she grumbled. This better be good, she thought to herself.
Morning sunshine, how're you?
"Sonny," she said. Even if his timing was rotten, it was good to hear his voice. "How are you?"
I'm good. I'll be there in half an hour, Elizabeth.
"What?! You'll be here in half an hour?" Elizabeth sat back down on the bed. Why on Earth was Sonny coming to see her?
Yes, Elizabeth. I need to speak with you.
"About what Sonny?"
You'll know when I get there. Half an hour. Be ready.
"Sonny…" she started, but was cut off by the dial tone. He'd hung up on her. Sonny had hung up on her.
She dropped the phone on the bed and went to pull some clothes from the dresser. She settled for a ribbed turtleneck sweater and jeans. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. "You look like hell, Morgan." It was true.
She'd had the dream again.
The dream where Jason showed up in the middle of the night and told her that he was coming home. She'd tell him about Isa and he'd say he understood why she chose not to tell him about keeping the pregnancy a secret.
She'd been dreaming the same dream on and off for almost two years now. In two more weeks, he'd be gone two years. What made her believe that he would come back now? She didn't get why she held on, she only knew that she couldn't let go. Because of the dreams in part. They always seemed so real.
She glanced at the clock and knew that she needed to shower. Sonny would be there soon and she wanted to have herself and Isabelle ready before he got there. Elizabeth glanced back at the alarm clock and groaned. Did he have to call so early? The baby monitor was still quiet, so that meant Isa was still asleep. She hated that she'd have to wake her, but that was the only way. Elizabeth decided to peek in on her daughter just to be sure she was asleep before her shower.
Elizabeth gathered the clothes in her arms and headed towards her daughter's room. She peeked in, saw the little girl was still sleeping. Quiet snores were coming from the crib. She crossed to where Isabelle was lying and smiled down on her. "Morning sweetie." She smiled again. "You must have gotten that snore from your daddy, because you didn't get it from me." Elizabeth kissed the tip of her finger and then placed it on Isabelle's forehead. "Mommy'll be back in just a minute."
She left the room and walked the rest of the way to the only bathroom on the second floor. Elizabeth turned the water too hot and stripped out of her night clothes after depositing the sweater and jeans on the toilet seat. She'd been going through this routine almost every morning for two years. She'd shower and dress, take care of Isabelle, and pretend that it didn't matter. Pretend that it didn't matter that this routine was the only thing that made her feel alive anymore. That being Isabelle's mother was her only purpose. She hated feeling this way.
"Stop it Morgan!" she commanded. She reached for the shampoo and lathered her hair without much care. She'd let it grow out again. After they got married, she cut it because it was easier to take care. Jason had hated the hair cut and sometimes she wondered if that was what made him leave. If her deciding to keep her hair short was just the icing on the cake.
"Get real, Elizabeth." She laughed at herself. Sometime in the last two years, she'd started talking to herself all the time. Jason used to tell her that she did it when she painted, but now she did it all the time. While she painted, when she was driving, cooking dinner, and when she was showering. Sad as it seemed, talking to herself made her feel less lonely.
Elizabeth rinsed her hair quickly and finished showering. She didn't have time to go down this road this morning. Her daughter was waiting and Sonny would be here soon. She got out of the shower and toweled off quickly.
She dressed even quicker and didn't bother to dry her hair. Running the towel through it a few times, she got most of the water out. Damn Sonny Corinthos, showing up like this. He could have called her the night before and she could have been prepared for this visit. In fact, she should have expected the visit. It'd been nearly six weeks since he'd been up to see her. It was the same old routine; he'd just pop up out of the blue and spend a few days with her and Isabelle. He'd cook for them, Johnny would usually accompany him and do their laundry. Elizabeth and Isabelle would spend the days being pampered and she enjoyed it.
Those two men were pretty much the only family she had left. Audrey had died years ago and the idea of getting to close to Jason's family scared her. She knew the way Edward had successfully taken Michael away from him and there was no way that Edward was getting his hands on Isabelle. Elizabeth wasn't even sure if they [i]knew[/i] about Isabelle. Sonny had found her the house in Buffalo while she was still pregnant. The only time she'd even returned to Port Charles was for the funeral and Sonny had kept Isa during that time.
Satisfied with her appearance she made her way back into her daughter's room. Isabelle was awake now. She was lying on her back, kicking her feet in the air.
"Good morning daughter." She walked to the dresser in the room and picked up the picture frame. Elizabeth took it over to her daughter. She helped her stand up against the rail and smiled. "Say morning to Daddy honey."
Elizabeth held the picture of Jason out and let her daughter touch her father's face. "Give Daddy his morning kiss sweetheart."
Her heart swelled with pride as she watched her daughter reach for the picture and kiss Jason's face. This had been their morning routine for over a year now. Elizabeth would hold the picture of Jason out in front of Isabelle and tell her who he was. She'd taught her daughter well, her first word had been 'Da-da.' She just hated that Jason hadn't been there to see it.
She picked the little girl up and took her to the changing table that was tucked away in the corner of the room. She laid her down and started pulling her pajamas off of her. Her nose wrinkled when she got to the diaper. "Someone's a dirty little girl, isn't she?" Elizabeth pulled the dirty diaper off her daughter and reached for the baby wipes. "You really need a bath, Isa. But Uncle Sonny will be here soon and Mommy doesn't have time this morning." Elizabeth reached for the diaper after she'd cleaned the child's bottom, but decided that they would have to make time for a bath. "Uncle Sonny can let himself in."
She picked the little girl up and took her into the same bathroom that she'd just showered in minutes ago. She ran about an inch of warm water before she turned it off. Elizabeth sat the naked baby in the water and got on her knees, rolled her sleeves up. She reached for the baby shampoo and started to wash her daughter.
"Da-da," Isabelle giggled.
Elizabeth looked up and smiled. "You're Da-da loves you, Isa."
"Da-da," she said again.
"Mommy had a dream about Daddy last night, Isa. In my dream, he was holding you."
"Da-da." The child had a look of absolute glee on her face.
"Yes, Da-da." Elizabeth reached for the plastic cup, filled it with water and poured it over Isa's head. She repeated the process until all the soap was gone. "Okay, all finished Isa."
"Da-da."
Elizabeth wrapped a soft towel around her daughter and lifted her from the water. "You know, Mommy's gonna start getting jealous. You're always calling out for Da-da. I miss him too, sweetheart."
She took her daughter back to the nursery and dressed her quickly. Elizabeth heard the doorbell ring and then keys jingle. "Uncle Sonny's here. You wanna go see him? Let's go see Uncle Sonny."
Elizabeth and Isabelle made their way down the stairs to the living room where Sonny and Johnny were waiting for them.
"How're my two favorite girls?" Sonny asked. He crossed to where Elizabeth was standing and took Isabelle from her. He leaned over and gave his best friends' wife a kiss on the forehead. "How are you Elizabeth?"
"I'm good Sonny." She smiled at the older man. Over the last two years he'd become a big brother to her. "Heard anything from him lately?"
"Elizabeth, for the last year you've asked me that question every time you've seen me, and for the last year my answer is always the same. Don't you think it's time that you give up?"
Elizabeth wanted to bite his head off. She really did. It'd make her feel better, but she knew that what he was saying had some truth in it. Absently her right hand covered her left ring finger and she slid the ring off and then back on. "For better or worse, remember? I can't give up on him. It'd be like giving up on me, Sonny."
Johnny came up from behind Sonny and took Isabelle. They watched as he walked into the other room with the little girl, telling her a joke. Elizabeth smiled and she was grateful that she had the two men who cared so much about her and Isabelle.
Sonny took one look at Elizabeth and knew what the problem was. "Are you still having the dreams?"
Elizabeth thought about lying to him. It'd be easier if she did. She wouldn't have to explain it to him and that way she wouldn't have to relive it. But, she knew that she needed to talk to him. She had to talk to someone about it and Sonny was just about the only friend she had left.
"Yeah, I am."
Sonny took her elbow and guided her to the couch. After she sat down, he took a seat across from her on the ottoman. "Is it the same dream?"
"It's never the same dream, Sonny. But they all have the same theme. Jason shows up in the middle of the night, I find him holding Isabelle, and he tells me that he's never leaving me again. And I believe him." She reached up to wipe the tears from her eyes, but Sonny pushed her fingers away. He used his own thumb to wipe away her tears. "Then, I wake up. I'm in the bed alone and he's still gone."
In his mind, Sonny was calling Jason every name he could think of. When Jason had told him that he was leaving, Sonny figured that it would be six months tops. He never expected that he would be able to stay away this long. Sonny had been trying to find him since Isabelle was born. Jason had covered his tracks well, though. Whatever his guys came up with, Sonny was always two steps behind. He also knew that if Jason didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be.
They sat in silence for a few more minutes, Elizabeth pushing the dream further and further from her head. It was just a dream. No matter how real it always seemed, when she woke up he was still gone. She smiled at the older man and watched at how he fussed over her. He was saying something about her losing too much weight and not eating properly. Typical Sonny.
"Sonny, what are you doing here?" she asked. Even if these trips weren't out of the ordinary, he always had a purpose for coming.
He gave her the Corinthos' smile, dimples and all. "What? I can't just come to see you and my godchild?"
She laughed at his suggestion and shook her head. "If that's all you wanted, you would have called and made plans. Something's up. What is it?"
He held his hands up in surrender and smiled. "You got me. Something is up."
Elizabeth waited for him to continue and when he didn't, she smiled. "So, are you going to tell me? Or do I have to guess?"
"Elizabeth, are you sure you want to know?"
Her face fell and she felt her stomach leap into her throat. "What happened Sonny? Is it Jason?" All at once she was bombarded by thousands of thoughts of something that happened to Jason. "Sonny…is…Jason dead?"
Sonny went back to where she was standing and led her back to the couch. "Honey, I don't have any news on Jason. The only thing I know is what I told you before. Three months ago he was in Norway. We haven't picked up a trail since then. But we're still looking. I'm not giving up on him."
Elizabeth felt the tension drain from her body. Jason was alive. He'd been in Norway three months ago and in Sweden two months before that. For the last year he'd been making a tour of the European countries. But never Italy. In her heart, she knew why. He'd proposed in Italy. He'd bought the engagement ring in Italy. And they had honeymooned in Italy. Italy was their place and she wasn't surprised that he never visited it.
Sonny watched the young woman for a minute, wondering how he was going to approach this subject. He glanced around the living room and smiled. He'd bought this house for her when she was pregnant. Sonny knew that Jason would have wanted it that way. For nearly a year and a half, he'd been driving up every few weeks to see her and Isabelle. And now he was about to tell her that he needed her to move back to Port Charles.
Elizabeth noticed the shadow that passed over Sonny's face and felt the worry began to eat at her again. He told her that Jason was fine, so what was bothering her so much? It didn't make sense. "Sonny, what is it?"
He sat next to her on the couch. His elbows rested on his knees and he let his hands hang between them. He turned so that he could see her face and smiled. "It's nothing bad. But, I think it would be a good idea if you moved back to Port Charles."
"Why?" With just the suggestion her head was spinning. She'd never considered going back with Jason. It wasn't even a possibility.
"There's trouble, Elizabeth. I'm afraid that you're a target. I can't protect you if you're two hours away."
"T-trouble? What kind of trouble?" She studied his face again and then looked away. He didn't tell her exactly what 'trouble' meant, but the look in his eyes told her that it was bad. "Sonny, wouldn't it be best if we stayed here? No one knows where we are."
Sonny touched her arm and finally she looked at him again. "People know, Elizabeth. If I let something happen to you, I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself. One day Jason is going to come home and if I let him down, if I let you or his daughter get hurt again, he'll never forgive me."
Elizabeth searched his eyes for something. Anything telling her that she didn't have to go back. What she found was scary. This was serious and they were in danger. Elizabeth knew better than to fight him on this. "When do we leave? Wait, where are we going to live? I mean, I know we still have the house, but I don't want to go back to the house…not without him. I can't live there–"
He watched her for a minute and wondered if she was going to cry. Sonny hadn't seen her do it often, mostly when she wasn't aware that he was around. He knew that Elizabeth was tough, but even the strongest women break sometimes. When Jason left her, he expected her to break. Instead, Elizabeth looked him in the eyes and told him that Jason would be coming home and she expected to be the same Elizabeth that she was the day he left her.
"Elizabeth, why don't you move into the penthouse with me?"
Her eyes widened and she wondered for a minute if he was serious. He couldn't be serious. No way. One look told her that she was. "With you?"
"Yeah. I have two extra bedrooms. One used to be Michael's. The other was Carly's." The idea appealed to him. He hadn't had anyone living with him in a long time. Not since Carly left years before.
"You want me to live in the penthouse, with you? Uh, Sonny–" How was she going to say this? Did she bring up the Carly situation? Did she point out that Sonny's relationship with Carly nearly destroyed Sonny's friendship with Jason? And that if Jason returned he would not like his wife and child living with his best friend. No matter how platonic the situation was, Jason still wouldn't want Elizabeth living with Sonny. She took a deep breath and tried to get herself out of this situation. "Sonny, isn't there another penthouse? I'll live in the building, but I really, really, really don't think that it's a good idea that you and I live together."
"Elizabeth, you don't care what people think. They'll talk, so what?"
She shook her head and gave him a shaky smile. "It's not people that I'm worried about, Sonny. It's one person. Jason. If he comes back and you and I are living together, what's he gonna think? It's not going to look good, Sonny."
As soon as the words left her mouth, he knew that she was right. He'd almost blown it once before by taking Carly away from Jason. And he knew that if Jason came back and Elizabeth was living with Sonny that Jason wouldn't ask for explanations. Not after the last time. "You're right. I can't believe I even suggested that."
"It's okay. Is there another place in the building that I can live?"
He thought for a minute and smiled. "The penthouse across the hall from mine."
"Alexis'? Where's she gonna live at?"
He gave her a halfway smile and laughed. "You really don't know anything about what's been happening in Port Charles, do you? Alexis married Jax." It surprised him how bitter it still tasted, even though they'd been married for months.
"Jasper Jacks? Australian Jacks? For real this time?"
Sonny laughed and nodded his head. "For real this time."
"Are you sure that penthouse is free?" Elizabeth didn't want to take advantage of the generosity he was offering. She had protested when he bought the house for her, but his argument was that if Jason was around he would have paid for the house. "I can always pay rent."
"You're joking, right? I'm not making you pay rent, Elizabeth. You and my beautiful goddaughter are moving in. No rent." He watched as she went to argue and held up his hand to silence her protests. "No arguments."
Elizabeth knew that this was an argument that she wouldn't win so she didn't bother protesting anymore. "When do we move?"
Sonny smiled in triumph. He thought that it would be a lot harder convincing her to move back to Port Charles, but since she gave in so easily he knew that she must really want to return. "I'll have the boys up here tomorrow."
Her eyes widened. "Tomorrow?"
He nodded his head. "Tomorrow."
~*~
Elizabeth sat on her bed and pulled out the scrapbook that she'd been keeping since Jason left. The Polaroid that Johnny took of her, Isabelle, and Sonny sat on her nightstand. Another day, another picture, and another letter. Jason had once explained to her that he did this for Carly when Michael was born. He'd take a picture everyday because Carly suffered from post-partum depression. After she began to show, Elizabeth kept everything. Ultrasounds, pamphlets that she was given at the doctor's office, even the bracelet that she wore when she went in to have the baby. Over the months, she had saved everything she thought he might miss. It was becoming quite the collection. She pulled out the paper and wondered what she'd tell him tonight. She was moving back to Port Charles tomorrow. That seemed like a place to start.
Dear Jason,
It's October now, so the snow will be here soon. Sonny came to visit us today. Isabelle was happy, as always, to see her Uncle Sonny and Johnny. Sonny said that there's trouble with the business and he wants me to move back to Port Charles. To be honest, I've been thinking about it for awhile. I miss my friends and my family. I never imagined that I'd return without you, but when you come back to me, I think that you'd come to Port Charles.
Isabelle will be eighteen months old in just a few more days. While I was giving her a bath this morning she kept calling out for her daddy. All she can say is "Da-da" so far. I think I'm going to get jealous soon. I just wonder what I'm going to say to her when she's older and asks me about you. What am I going to say about her father? Hopefully, you'll be back before then so that she won't even remember her father not being there.
I know that if you knew about her, you'd be here. I had the dream again last night. The dream where I find you holding her in the nursery and I tell you that I needed you to stay because you loved me, not because I was pregnant with her. You understood in the dream, but will you understand when you finally see your daughter? But through it all, I know that I'm living for the day that you scoop Isa up in your arms and she calls you Daddy.
The movers will be here tomorrow. You know Sonny, he's never one to dawdle. I'm going to bed now. I don't know what to wish for tonight. Dreams of you, or a dreamless night. Either way, I hope you're there when I wake up in the morning.
Love,
EM
She tucked the letter into the scrapbook and the scrapbook into the drawer in the nightstand. She reached for the lamp and soon the only light was from the window. Elizabeth lay down in the bed and closed her eyes. A small sigh escaped her lips and she allowed herself to hope for one more day.
"Goodnight Jason."