As he expected, the door slammed shut that morning. Elizabeth had decided she liked waking him up by slamming doors, so she'd done it for the past three mornings. It didn't matter to her that he felt it was childish. She would always come in before he was awake to bathe and dress their daughter. When she was finished in the nursery, she'd leave and the door would slam, announcing her absence. The first morning, Jason had jumped to his feet, gun in hand and ready to shoot someone. The next morning, he had been a little slower and realized this was the way Elizabeth intended on waking him up.
This morning, he'd expected it. He'd been half-awake, listening as Elizabeth dressed Isabelle. He wondered if she knew she talked to the child while she was doing it. He thought it was possible, but doubted she knew what she was saying. Or she would have never said it in his presence.
Jason slid off the cot and stretched his aching muscles. He glared at his new bed and wished he was crawling out of their bed instead. He knew the only thing that would make him feel human would be a hot shower and a shave. Besides, the only thing waiting for him in the kitchen would be cold coffee and oatmeal. Something he knew could wait. Jason also knew Elizabeth's icy glare was also waiting for him. Another thing that could wait until after he showered.
Jason made his way down the carpeted hallway to the only bathroom on the bottom floor. He could hear Elizabeth in the kitchen making breakfast. Instead of continuing straight to where his family was, Jason took the familiar left and stepped into the bathroom. He crossed to the black marble shower and turned the water to as hot as he could stand. He stripped off the gray sweatpants and stepped into the hot stream. The water cascaded down the plane of his stomach and down his body, before disappearing down the drain. Jason closed his eyes and stepped into the spray.
He stood and let the water cleanse him for a minute before reaching for the soap. He lathered the washcloth with the soap and washed his body. Next, he washed his hair with the unscented shampoo he'd bought. There was something in him that didn't want to walk around smelling like jasmine, so he'd bought it after his first shower. Jason stepped to rinse his hair when the water suddenly went cold. Jason heard the faint sound of a toilet flushing and hurriedly rinsed his hair.
When he stepped out of the shower, without a towel, Elizabeth was standing in the bathroom. She was glaring at Jason from beside the sink.
"What'd you do that for?"
Elizabeth ran her eyes over his chest and then lower. His naked form made her face feel warm and she forced herself to look back at him. "Alexis called. They want us in the park in an hour."
"What for?"
"Today Isa is eighteen months old; they want to throw her a party."
Jason crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow. "You throw parties when a child turns eighteen months old?"
Elizabeth sighed and reached for the towel hanging on the hook. Never breaking eye contact, she handed it to him. "Maybe it's a Cassadine thing. Or maybe it's an Australian thing. I don't know. But we're going."
Jason took the towel and knotted it at his waist. He moved past Elizabeth to the other side of the sink. Using his palm, Jason tried to wipe some of the condensation off the mirror. Next, he reached for his shaving gel and razor. "So Jax is going to be there?"
Elizabeth rolled her eyes at him. "Yes. Is that going to be a problem?"
Jason didn't try to hide the look of distaste on his face. He could think of a thousand things he'd rather do than spend the morning with Jax. Eat rusty nails, have bamboo reeds shoved under his fingernails, have a visit with Edward Quartermaine… "I don't like Jax."
Elizabeth chuckled in response, "He isn't too fond of you either." She moved past him towards the door and then turned around. "You could always not go."
Jason turned to look at her, his eyes set with determination. "No chance of that happening."
"Then don't complain about spending the morning with Jax. In fact, you should get used to it. Maybe I'll start to spend more time with Jax and Alexis. At least I know they want me for me." Before he could respond, Elizabeth slammed the bathroom door.
He finished shaving and pulled on the clothes he'd brought with him. Black denim jeans and a black t-shirt. He knew eventually he was going to have to buy more clothes, because the clothes he'd worn in Spain were not suitable for winter in Port Charles. Once more, he ran the towel through his hair before depositing it in the hamper. Jason turned off the light when he left the bathroom.
Like he expected, there was a cup of coffee and a bowl of oatmeal sitting on the kitchen counter. He heard Elizabeth upstairs moving around and assumed Isabelle was with her. Jason ignored the bowl of oatmeal and grabbed the coffee. Once he'd poured it down the sink, he went to where the pot sat. She'd left him what looked like two cups of coffee in the pot, heating. He was grateful that she at least thought to do that for him. It was the small gestures she made that told Jason Elizabeth didn't completely hate him.
She'd leave coffee in a cup for him. The previous night he'd been out, but there was a sandwich sitting out for him when he got home. He knew she was the one who put fresh towels and washcloths in the bathroom for him every morning. Right now, her actions did speak louder than her words.
He was leaning against the counter drinking coffee when she came downstairs. Isabelle was held against her hip and a diaper bag thrown over the other shoulder. She was talking quietly to the child. Jason wasn't sure if Elizabeth was even aware he was in the room, watching her. But he knew that as soon as she did realize it, the steel wall would be put back in place.
She knew he was watching her. She didn't care if he was watching her. He should be watching her, she thought. Elizabeth wanted for Jason to see everything he'd missed in the last two years. Her mind drifted back to the conversation she'd had with Sonny three days ago. While Jason was out, he'd come over to see her and it seemed he was genuinely concerned about her.
"How are you?" Sonny asked.
Elizabeth paused, her tea cup in midair, before she answered him. "I'm fine," she lied.
"Honey, you don't have to lie to me." Sonny watched as she put her walls up. He knew Jason had his work cut out for him, especially if he planned to win the woman back.
Elizabeth nodded her head. "Sorry. It's just been awhile since anyone has wanted to know how I really felt. Well, not awhile—just since Jason returned."
"If you're talking about Alexis representing him, you should know she changed her mind."
"That's not the way it looked, Sonny. Alexis dumped me pretty easily to represent Jason."
Sonny couldn't agree with what his lawyer had done, but he knew Alexis didn't have much choice in the matter. But from the conversation they'd had on the phone, he was sure Alexis wasn't going to represent either of them. She'd told him it was quite obvious there were unresolved feelings and Elizabeth and Jason needed to sit down and really talk before they made life-changing decisions. "I don't think that's what it was, Elizabeth."
Elizabeth smiled at Sonny. She knew he was trying to make her feel better. "Jason knows the truth now. He'll never leave since he knows about Isa."
"You want him to leave?" Sonny dipped his head so he was looking in her eyes. "I thought you wanted him to stay."
She nodded her head in agreement. "More than anything. But not for Isabelle, Sonny. Was it wrong that I wanted him to stay for me?"
"Not at all, honey." Jason's words played through his head. "But I think he is staying for you, Elizabeth. What has he said?"
"That he loves me," she sighed. "Whether there was an Isabelle or Abby, he would still love me."
"You need to trust that, Elizabeth. Trust him."
"Sonny–" she protested.
"I'm not saying you should welcome him back into your home," he cut in. "I'm saying that Jason doesn't lie, Elizabeth. He isn't the type of person who would tell you something because it's something you want to hear. He tells the truth, no matter what. Perhaps I know him better than anyone, except maybe you, and it's obvious to me that he loves you."
She wanted to believe him. Not about Jason loving her, because Elizabeth knew he did. She wanted to believe Sonny when he said Jason would stay for her.
"Elizabeth," Sonny said, breaking into her thoughts, "you know I don't think he deserves you. But can I ask you what you're looking for?"
"What do you mean?"
"What do you expect from him? What hoops is he going to have to jump through to get back on your good side?" Sonny pressed his hand to his chest and sighed. "I want to understand, Elizabeth. Because you and Jason had the storybook romance. I've never seen two people more in love and if it doesn't work for you two, then when does it work?"
"I don't know. Does it ever work? Why are you asking, Sonny?"
"I told you. I've never seen more people in love than you and Jason, yet you can't make your marriage work. I've loved a lot of women, Elizabeth. Lily, Brenda, Hannah. Carly. And now, I'm falling for Marie. But why bother when there's nothing but heartbreak in the end?"
"I don't know the answer," she admitted. "When I fell in love with Jason, I knew that I'd never love another man the way I loved him. That was why I married him. I've loved two people in that way, Sonny. Lucky Spencer died and was returned years later. And Jason left me. Everyone leaves me. Is there something about me that makes everyone leave?"
Sonny sighed and pulled her to him. He tried comforting her by running his hand down her back. "I'm not going anywhere, Elizabeth. If there's just one person in your life that you can rely on, let me be that person. I'll be your friend when you don't think there's anyone and I'll be there for you when the world deserts you."
Elizabeth felt herself fall more into him. "I want to believe you. But Jason said the same thing, Sonny."
"Jason came back for you, honey. When he called, he didn't know about Isabelle. I didn't tell him about her, neither did Alexis. He came home for his wife, Elizabeth. He wants you."
Elizabeth moved away from him and wrapped her arms around herself. "I hope so, Sonny. I do."
"Elizabeth?" Jason asked. He was trying to figure out where she went in her mind. She'd been standing there, staring at him, holding Isabelle.
"Elizabeth?"
"Dada," he heard his daughter call out. Jason dumped his coffee in the sink and went to where she was standing.
"Elizabeth?" he said gently.
The third time he said her name seemed to bring her from her thoughts. "Yeah?"
"You okay?" he asked, concerned. He had never seen her distracted around Isabelle before.
"What?" Elizabeth shook her head. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Sorry."
"Where'd you go?" Jason reached for Isabelle and was surprised at how easily Elizabeth handed her over to him. Isabelle seemed to be the only thing she wasn't stingy with lately. She might do little things for him, but she still wasn't talking to him. But he was pleased that she did seem to want him to know Isabelle.
"No where important," she said softly. Elizabeth smiled as Jason held their daughter. He'd always been an excellent father and the eighteen months he'd missed with Isabelle were quickly being made up. But sometimes when she watched him, she saw that he missed those seven months of being with her while she was pregnant. Elizabeth had taken that away from him and for that, she did feel guilty.
"Are we ready?" she asked.
Jason nodded his head at her. "Let's get her coat and I need my jacket and we'll be ready."
He handed her back to Elizabeth with ease. Jason's instincts told him she was still very upset with him and he knew it was going to take a long time before he could move on from the fact she'd kept her pregnancy a secret. But both had come upon a silent agreement to not let Isabelle know of their feelings. Jason was sure the child still picked up on some of the tension, but he hoped she didn't notice.
Jason slipped his arms into his leather jacket and grabbed the yellow diaper bag Elizabeth had packed for Isabelle. Without thinking, he slung it over his shoulder and grabbed the keys to the penthouse.
"Let's go," he said ushering them out the door. He locked the door while Elizabeth pushed the elevator button. She stood back and let him step in first, like they had decided. Jason was able to inspect the elevator for any devices and would be able to get Elizabeth and Isabelle to safety, even if it meant his own life.
When he was satisfied the elevator had been swept clean, Jason nodded at Elizabeth. His wife took her place beside him with their daughter. To anyone who would happen to walk by, they looked like a normal family.
~*~
The first thing Jason noticed when they entered the park was that Jax was sitting alone on a blanket. He scanned the area for Alexis and groaned when he didn't see her. This probably meant they'd be having lunch with just Jax.
"Hey Jax," Elizabeth called out to him. When the Australian looked up from the book he was reading, he waved at them.
Jason watched as Elizabeth flashed him a thousand-watt smiled and tried to remember the last time she'd smiled at him like that. He couldn't remember, but he'd watched as she smiled at their daughter. It was a comfort to him to know she raised Isabelle with the same loving touch as she did everything in her life. He knew for sure his daughter had never wanted for anything. Never would want for anything, as long as he was in the picture. Which was going to be a very long time.
"Elizabeth," Jax said politely. He stood to greet the younger woman and immediately took Isabelle from her arms. "I'm glad you could come on such short notice."
"We wouldn't have missed it." Elizabeth sat down on the checkered blanket Jax had spread for them. "Isa's excited. I explained to her this morning. But I think all she got from the conversation was 'party.'"
"I wouldn't have expected anything less." Jax sat next to Elizabeth and left Isabelle in his lap. He looked up at Jason who had taken his guard stature. "I see you brought the Borg with you."
"Jax," Elizabeth warned. For some reason, it always bothered her when someone called Jason names. Anger Boy. A block of ice. But the worst was Borg. To her, it implied that Jason didn't feel. And she knew that wasn't true. Jason Morgan was perhaps the most feeling man she'd ever met. "We're not going to resort to name calling. This is for Isa."
"Fine." Jax opened the picnic basket and pulled out a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for Isabelle. As soon as he had the sandwich from the plastic container, she had it in her mouth. "Do you not feed this child?"
"I feed her just fine. She's a growing girl." Elizabeth smiled down at her child and then looked back up at Jason. She knew he was extremely uncomfortable being here with Jax. "Do you want to sit down?"
Her question surprised him because Jason was sure she was just going to ignore him the entire time they were there. "No, I'm fine."
"Okay…" Elizabeth turned back to Jax. "Where's Alexis?"
"Got called away to look over some coffee contracts. Isn't that where your guard should be right now?"
Elizabeth reached for a carton of fried rice he'd brought and some chopsticks. She had the white carton open in no time. "Jason has assigned himself my guard. He feels that Stryker is going to come after me or Isa, so he's not letting us out of his sight."
"How chivalrous of you, Morgan." Jax eyed the man who was towering over them and smirked, "You know, yellow is a really nice color on you."
Elizabeth rolled her eyes at Jax's immaturity. She glanced up at Jason and noticed the wall he'd put on his face. "Jax, please leave him alone."
"What Elizabeth? I didn't say anything."
"I thought you promised Alexis you were going to stop this."
"Stop what?" Jax raised his hand in surrender. "I agreed to get along with Corinthos, not Morgan. He wasn't even in the picture when you and Lexi insisted that Corinthos and I put our past behind us."
"Jason is Sonny's partner," Elizabeth defended. "If you won't do it for me, do it for Isabelle? Jason and I have managed to put aside some of our difference while Isabelle is around and I suggest you do that, too. Please be an adult, Jax."
"An adult?" he asked, incredulously. "An adult faces their problems, Elizabeth. Adults don't run away. When Morgan proves that he can be an adult, I'll treat him like one."
"You have no idea what you're talking about."
Both Elizabeth and Jax turned to stare at Jason. Elizabeth knew he was close to losing his temper and also knew he'd regret it later. "Jason, let it go."
"Elizabeth," Jason sighed. "I'm not going to stand there and let him insult me."
"You let everyone else!" Jax claimed. "You let Taggert and the police. You take orders from Sonny like you're some lapdog. Do you ever wonder why people call you names, Morgan? It's because you don't feel anything. You didn't even feel enough for your wife to stick around."
"Jax."
"No, Elizabeth. Don't try to protect him. Don't let him hide behind your skirt."
"I'm not hiding," Jason said in a low voice.
Elizabeth knew his tone and knew he was angry. She watched as he clenched and unclenched his fists. "Guys, you need to chill. This is Isa's day, can we please get along?"
Jax dropped his napkin on the blanket and stood. "I can't be here right now, Elizabeth. I'll have Lexi call you later and she'll probably want to see Isabelle. I'll get the basket back some other time."
Elizabeth didn't have time to say anything before he walked away. She thought of calling after him, but knew it would be useless. "That went well."
Jason dropped to the blanket beside her and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Elizabeth. I know you wanted to make this day special for Isabelle."
"I did," she agreed. Elizabeth raised her head to look at him. "I'm sorry for Jax, he just doesn't know when to stop sometimes."
"Don't apologize for him."
"I feel like I need to," she said. "I know this hasn't been easy on any of us and I feel like Jax just made it ten times worse. He did have the best of intentions."
"He cares about you and Isa. I'll never fault the guy for that. He wants you safe and eventually he'll realize that I can keep you safe."
Elizabeth nodded her head, but didn't stay anything. She reached for the diaper bag and unzipped the side pocket. From the side she pulled a plastic container and handed it to Jason. "I didn't think you'd want PB&J so I fixed this before we left this morning."
"What is it?" he asked.
"Corn beef on rye. No mayo, a little mustard. Just like you like them." She smiled at him. "It's not Kelly's, but you need to eat."
Jason dropped all the way to blanket beside Isabelle and smiled at his wife. "Thank you."
She nodded her head in acknowledgement and returned her attention to the Chinese food Jax had brought her.
~*~
Jason's head had just hit the pillow when Isabelle began to softly cry. Elizabeth had been worried about her since they'd returned from the park. She feared the child was catching a cold. Jason had convinced Elizabeth to get some sleep and he stayed up with her. The child had finally fallen asleep and he'd just laid her down. After he'd readied himself for bed, he laid back down on the cot. The child's cries were soft and Jason listened for the sound of Elizabeth's feet on the stairs. She'd explained to him that Isabelle was still adjusting to the penthouse and rarely slept through the whole night. He guessed that the cold was making it harder for her to sleep.
The child continued to cry, but Elizabeth never came. Jason pulled himself from the cot and crossed to the crib. He picked the crying child up and felt her head for a fever. Elizabeth had given her some medicine that should have made her drowsy, but it didn't seem to be working. Jason cradled Isabelle against his chest and began to run a hand down her back.
"Shhh, baby. Daddy's here," he whispered. Jason walked back and forth with her in his arms, listening to her breathing. From the sound of her heavy breathing, he knew it might be a smart idea to make her an appointment with a doctor. If she had a bronchial infection, Jason knew Elizabeth's over-the-counter drugs would do nothing to help.
When her crying quieted, Jason sat down in Elizabeth's rocking chair and began to rock his daughter back to sleep. One of her small hands curled into the cotton of his t-shirt, while the other curled into a fist above her head. He watched as she slept, as he'd done other nights.
Since the moment Elizabeth told him the truth, Jason wanted nothing more than to spend every second with her. Perhaps he was finally beginning to feel the ramifications of his actions. He'd left Elizabeth and because of that, he'd missed out on two years of their life together and the first eighteen months of their daughter's life.
Could he forgive himself for that? For the last three days, he'd been turning the question over in his mind. His first reaction had been to blame Elizabeth, but it wasn't really her fault. He was still the one who chose to leave his wife. All the times he promised he'd never leave came back to him and he knew he'd never deserve a second chance with her. But he wanted one. Oh, how he wanted one. For him, love had never been a problem. He knew he'd always love Elizabeth. It was the guilt from Abby's death that was eating him alive.
In all the time he was gone, he still hadn't come up with a way to explain the guilt to her. If he was honest with himself, he knew the reason why he'd never changed his phone number. He could always fall back and say, 'well you never called,' or 'you didn't even try to contact me.' Except he didn't deserve the excuse, because he should have never left.
Jason sighed and glanced down at his sleeping daughter. She was beautiful just like her mother. Curly brown hair, alabaster skin, thin lips. And her father's eyes. Jason's eyes. After Abby died, Jason convinced himself he didn't deserve another chance at being a father. So far he'd had two children whom he'd called his and both were gone to him. One from his mother's crazy thinking and the other because of his enemy. He knew he didn't deserve to have a third chance with a child like Isabelle, but he wanted it.
He wanted Isabelle and Elizabeth. The family he'd never had. He wanted to give Isabelle the type of home he would have wanted for himself. Not where someone was always plotting for a 'better life' like Michael had with Carly. Or where you're shipped off to boarding school when you're ten, as had happened with AJ and Jason Quartermaine. No, he wanted Isabelle to have a normal childhood.
With two parents who loved each other. If he hadn't completely blown that, too. But he knew the first thing he would have to do was prove to Elizabeth he came back for her. Not because he felt guilty, or because he wanted to work for Sonny. He knew she needed to know he was in it for her—and only her.
Isabelle's soft snores broke into his thoughts and he was sure she was asleep. Jason glanced at the clock on the wall and the dial read something just after three a.m. He stood and crossed back to the crib. One more glance down at the sleeping child, he moved back to his bed. He lay on his side and Isabelle turned into him for warmth. Jason held her secure next to him as he willed himself asleep.
Elizabeth was careful to be quiet when she entered the nursery almost an hour later. She'd woken and listened for Isabelle's cough, but Isabelle seemed to be sleeping through the night. Elizabeth carefully tiptoed to the crib and glanced down inside of it. She frowned when she realized her daughter wasn't in her bed. Elizabeth reached for the light when she heard the soft snores coming from where Jason had been sleeping.
She crossed to where the man she'd called husband lay with their daughter. Isabelle's face was turned into his shirt and Jason kept a protective arm around her so she wouldn't fall. Despite herself, Elizabeth smiled at the picture perfect scene in front of her. The little girl's breathing was deep and showed no signs of the cough she'd had earlier. Jason's breathing was slow and even and Elizabeth knew she wouldn't wake him.
She turned and reached for the elephant lamp that sat beside the crib. Turning it on, she quickly reached for a stack of typing paper she kept for Isabelle to draw on. Using her daughters gnawed coloring pencils, Elizabeth sketched the sleeping Jason and Isabelle. She felt the tears well in her eyes several times, but didn't give into the urge until she was finished.
At the bottom, instead of her customary signature of 'EM' she simply wrote Father + Daughter, October 2005. Elizabeth put her sketch on the night table and reached for Jason's leather jacket he'd carelessly thrown across the back of the rocking chair. When she stood to turn off the light, she took one last look at her sleeping family.
Taking a chance on waking them both, she walked towards the cot as quietly as possible. Elizabeth felt Isabelle's head for a temperature and was satisfied when the sleeping child felt normal. Quickly she leaned down and placed a kiss on her upturned temple. She stood and studied the pair again, before giving into her urge and kissing Jason's forehead. No matter how angry she was, she still loved him. And she reasoned with herself she could show affection for him, as long as he didn't know.
Just as quiet as before, Elizabeth retreated back to the rocking chair. She pulled Jason's leather jacket over her to cover herself and sighed contentedly. She fell asleep listening to the soft snores of her daughter and the deep breathing of her husband.