A/n: okay I want reviews on this, all kinds of reviews please! This was just a stream of consciousness and I want to know how it turned out so review.



Disclaimer: don't own them or the song sex and violence by STP

I used to love you now I don't care

Now I turn around, you're everywhere

So you can chew me up and spit me out

You're just the little bitch I cared about

She was the first thing in my life that I wanted, the first thing in my life which I wanted and was denied. I always got what I wanted, and so when I couldn't have her, I wanted her even more. She became my all consuming thought, my obsession, my love. I knew she never loved me, that she never would, but still I wanted her. They say love conquers all, but my love never conquered her. When I couldn't have her my love grew a second side, hate. I hated her Everyday her face was there, taunting, teasing never mine. I became jealous of everyone around her, any person who got even a second of her attention. I became possessive and I lost control. At first it scared her, but then it made her mad.



I know you can see me

But you don't believe me

I know that you're lonely

Time will tell and time is hell

She wouldn't talk to me, look at me nothing and I hated her even more for denying my love , and in a sick, twisted way I loved her. I wanted her to want me, love me, needed it. She didn't believe me when I proclaimed my love, was convinced that I was playing some sick twisted head game. I needed her and hated everything which prevented me from being with her. I hated time, for at some times going too slow and at other times too fast. Time without her was hell and time with her when she wasn't mine was hell.



No sex or violence

No morbid silence

Forever sleeping

You won't stop breathing

You hold me captive and it's not fair

Progressed insanity is everywhere

You need to love me but you kicked me out

My head is wandering so knock me out

I keep my head afloat I'm drowning in

The muddy water pulls me down again

I used to love me but I hate me now

I'm just a little bitch I cared about

Love and hate. Those were the only two emotions I came to know. She was the first thought and the last though I had each day. I was her prisoner and she wouldn't give me the key, didn't even know she had the key, wouldn't believe me when I said she had the key. She was at a point in her life when she needed someone, someone who wasn't her idiot ex, and there I was the perfect candidate and she just threw me to the curb like so much trash. Every time I thought I was free from the prison that was her, I got pulled right back in, it was a never ending struggle. She was the only thing in my life which I never got and it burns me to this day. And I shall love her and hate her until the day I die.