This chapter is slightly rated. I think originally I said it was Heavy R./Light NC-17. Just thought I'd give you fair warning. ~Cal
Jason
Morgan looked around his wife's bedroom and felt as if he was getting to know
her all over again. He could hear the shower running and knew he'd be safe if
he looked around some. Jason hoped that he'd be able to find some clues as to
what he'd missed for two years. Pictures or letters, or something that told him
about what happened to her. Something that told him about Isabelle.
He watched her fall apart earlier and had to wonder if that's what it'd been
like for her when he left. Sonny had given him some insight, but not enough for
Jason to know what really happened
during that time. Walking towards the dresser, he pulled open the top drawer.
Staring back at him was a picture from their wedding day, a copy of the picture
he'd kept with him always. His head had been tilted so he could see her and she
was looking back up at him. The smile they both wore showed how much they loved
each other. But he couldn't help but wonder why she had it in the drawer and
not on display.
In the contents under the picture he found an envelope that read Jason. Stopping again to listen for the
shower, he was sure she hadn't finished before he slipped his finger under the
flap and pulled the document it out. Jason scanned them quickly and knew almost
immediately he had a legal separation in his hand. The lawyer wasn't Alexis,
but some guy named Geralds out of Buffalo. On a handwritten note Jason read the
lawyers note to Elizabeth, Ms. Morgan,
here are the papers you filed. All you have to do is sign and return them. If
you have any questions, I can be reached at… and then he gave his telephone
number. Flipping through the papers again, he saw that she had signed them.
"I couldn't file them," Elizabeth explained from behind him.
He turned to find her wrapped in a thick terry cloth robe and a black towel
soaking up the moisture from her wet hair. Her arms were wrapped protectively
around her waist, she wore no make-up. Jason noticed that her skin was red from
the scrubbing she'd given it. He fought the instinct in him to go and touch
her. On her left hand, he noticed that she wore her engagement ring. Pointing
at it, he said, "I'm surprised you haven't taken it off yet."
Elizabeth held her hand out in front of her and smiled weakly. "It's the
only thing I have left." Her walls began to crumble again and Elizabeth
turned so he wouldn't see her cry. She'd cried so much in the last few hours
that she thought she didn't have any tears left in her. "I'm sorry,"
she mumbled.
Jason was next to her in two steps. He clenched a hand in her dark, wet curls
and pulled her into his chest. "Hey, hey. You don't ever have to apologize
to me for being upset. You're allowed to be upset, Elizabeth."
She snuggled into the warmth of his chest as her arms came up around his lean
waist. Tears continued to leak out of her eyes and she wasn't ashamed of them
anymore. They stood like that for minutes as the world seemed to stop spinning.
For them, the only person who existed was the other.
Jason ran a soothing hand up and down her back. "It'll be okay, Elizabeth.
I'll make everything okay."
She nodded mutely and pulled away from him. Going to the dresser where he'd
found the separation papers, she opened another drawer and pulled out some silk
pajama bottoms and a cotton t-shirt. Numbly, she handed Jason the legal
documents and nodded towards the bathroom. "I'll be right back."
He nodded. Jason flipped through the documents one more time and sighed. God,
he'd messed this up. "You know, the engagement ring isn't the only thing
you have left," he called through the door. "You have me."
Elizabeth didn't respond as she continued to change clothes. A minute later,
she emerged from the bathroom fully dressed. The black towel still hung around
her shoulders catching any spare water drops. "Do I?"
"Have me?" he questioned. Not standing to not touch her, he ran the
back of his hand along her cheek. "You've always had me. Since the very
first night, I think. I didn't stand a chance."
"You still left," she reminded him. Turning her cheek into his touch,
she sighed. "I'm sorry. I know I keep reminding you of that. But I don't
know if I can get past it."
"I know," he said softly. Jason lifted her chin so she was facing
him. "You know I didn't leave because of you, right? That it was never a
problem of love."
"You left because you couldn't live with yourself. Because you felt you
killed our daughter." She laughed then. It was bitter and short.
"That's the kicker; it's possible she's not even dead. We missed two years
with Abby and each other because that sick bastard wants to play games with
us."
"Elizabeth," he sighed. Jason didn't know how to approach this topic.
When they'd first received the pictures, she'd been hysterical and he wasn't
able to talk to her. Then, she'd wanted to sit around and not talk. He knew
she'd gone some place deep inside of herself to try and deal. That's when the
crying started again. The doctor had come and given her something so she could
sleep; but she'd refused to take them. The orange pill bottle sat on her nightstand,
unopened. "We don't know it's her."
"It's her," she said with force. She was tired of Sonny and Jason
both telling her she wouldn't know her own daughter. Elizabeth couldn't explain
to them how she knew, but only that
she was sure the blonde haired child
was Abby. Opening her eyes, she stared at the man she loved more than life.
"Please believe me when I say it's her."
He wanted to. Jason wanted to believe Elizabeth would recognize their daughter
and he even felt a little ashamed that he didn't share in her convictions. But
he didn't want to get his hopes up for it to only be a game Stryker was playing
with them. Touching her again, Jason smiled. "I want it to be her too,
Elizabeth."
"No!" she insisted, "it is
her!" Elizabeth moved away from him and grabbed the photo of them off her
dresser. The picture had been taken three days before Abby was taken.
"Look at her, Jason." When he dropped his head, she pushed him.
" Look at her," she
ordered again. This time he did look up and he saw the picture of them in the
park. "This is our daughter, Jason. She is alive, she's out there somewhere, scared and alone. And we're
going to find her. I don't care if we have to turn the world upside down, we will find her."
"Honey, we have men on it already, they started–"
Elizabeth raised a hand to stop him. "Don't tell me that if it's her,
they'll find her. It is her, Jason. It's Abby." She was nearly hysterical
again. Elizabeth clutched the picture to her chest as she began to tremble.
"Elizabeth–"
"Say it, Jason." When she looked up at him, her eyes were wild.
"Say it's Abby." Holding the picture out again, she lovingly caressed
the face of her little girl. "Tell me it's Abby, Jason."
Knowing she was about to fall, doubting her legs would support her much longer,
Jason moved to her. Placing one around her waist, he bent and easily lifted
her. Moving towards the bed, he laid her down gently. Jason sat on the bed and
put his hand on her face. "Shhh, honey. It's her, okay? I promise you,
it's her. And we'll find her."
Elizabeth's sobs began to quiet as Jason continued his nonsensical words. She
closed her eyes and reveled in the touch of his hand on her face. The tone he
used was so full of love that if she wasn't already crying, some part of
Elizabeth knew she would be. She turned on her side, into him. The bed dipped
where he sat and soon he was the only thing holding her on the mattress.
Neither of them talked as he continued to show her love. Occasionally Elizabeth
would sniffle or move to wipe away her tears, but for the most part they just
were.
Sometime later when he thought she was asleep, Jason went to move. He was going
to discreetly slip out of her room and call Sonny. The men needed to discuss
the possibility of what happened if his first daughter was alive. His thoughts
momentarily went to Ronan Stryker and Jason felt a hate so deep it threatened
to consume him well inside. Sorel had been a pain in their side for years, but
for the most part Jason and Sonny had considered him harmless. But maybe he
wasn't so harmless. His faking Abby's death was still having adverse affects on
the lives of Jason and Sonny.
"Where're you going?" a sleepy voice asked.
Jason turned to find her blue eyes looking up at him from hooded lids. "I
was gonna call Sonny and then get in my bed."
"Isabelle's home?" she asked, almost hopeful.
Jason shook his head. "Do you want me to tell Sonny to bring her
over?"
"No," she said weakly. "I don't want her to see me like
this." Sitting up in the bed, Elizabeth sighed heavily. "I must be a
mess."
Turning towards her once again, Jason disagreed, "You're allowed to be a
mess, Elizabeth. Don't forget that. Put down the world, Atlas, and join us for
awhile."
Despite her rotten mood, she smiled at him. It wasn't her usual hundred watt
smile, but it was tentative and full of love. "When did you have time to
learn Greek mythology?"
"I think I was in Norway," he told her. "Right before I found
Lucky. I got kind of bored."
At the mention of her ex-love, Elizabeth's eyes narrowed a bit. "Why did
you send him back, Jason? Was it for me? Did you think I'd see him, run into
his arms and everything you and I shared would be a distant memory?"
"The thought crossed my mind," Jason admitted. "Finding Lucky…I
dunno, Elizabeth. It brought me back to a time when my life was empty. The
night you found me in that bar, you changed me."
"And you saved me." Moving closer to him, Elizabeth placed a
comforting hand on his shoulder. "The thought of going back to Lucky never
crossed my mind," she tried to assure him. "We were living in Buffalo
when Sonny told me he was alive. Except he told me Luke found him on one of his
many trips abroad. I believed him. I think that's the only time Sonny's ever
lied to me."
"You understand why he did it, though. Don't be angry with him,
Elizabeth."
"I'm not. I'm not even angry with you anymore. I was angry with Lucky
after I saw him the other day. I never thought I'd be angry with him."
Elizabeth sighed heavily as she replayed the conversation that'd taken place
more than a week ago. "He wanted me to be with him again. I couldn't,
Jason. I couldn't betray you like that. Or our daughter." She lifted her
head grimly. "Or our daughters." Taking a deep breath she asked,
"Will it always hurt this much?"
"What hurts?"
"Knowing that I've missed the last two years of her life. Knowing that
she's scared and alone."
"We don't know that," he said quickly.
"Oh please, she's been with Ronan Stryker. How much love could she have
gotten?"
Gently Jason laid Elizabeth down again and said, "Someone once said that
about Michael, Elizabeth. They said, 'He's been with Jason Morgan. How much
love could he have gotten?' And I still love him today, Elizabeth. Don't pass
judgment so quickly."
She nodded at him, but didn't say anything. Jason ran his fingertips over her
eyelids and closed them for her. "Now sleep."
Elizabeth grabbed his wrist when he went to move away. "Stay with me
tonight? I just…I can't be alone tonight, Jason. Please stay with me."
Knowing he couldn't refuse her, Jason nodded. "I need to call Sonny,
though." Bending, he kissed her head. "But I'll be back."
He thought he heard her mumble something before he left the room. Jason left
the light on in the hall and the door cracked so he could hear her. He moved
quickly into the nursery and pulled out a pair of cotton pajama bottoms and a
navy blue t-shirt. He changed quickly, deciding he'd shower in the morning.
Glancing at the clock, he hoped Sonny would be home from the warehouse by now.
Leaving the room and the penthouse, he nodded at the night guard.
Don nodded back at his boss. He knocked on the door and moved aside quickly as
Jason moved into the penthouse.
Sonny looked up from the paperwork he'd brought home from the coffee warehouse.
"How is she?" he asked immediately.
"She just lay down," Jason admitted. "She was pretty messed up
there for awhile. She wouldn't take the pills Evans left."
"I didn't think she would, but at least we tried."
"Where's Isabelle?" Jason asked, his eyes scanning the penthouse.
"Alexis came by and she went there for the night. Is that okay?"
"Yeah, that's fine." Jason nodded towards the penthouse. "You
and I need to sit down and make some plans, Sonny. We have to figure out what
we're going to do about this. I have to let Elizabeth know something."
"You're meeting with Mike tomorrow?" Sonny already knew the answer.
He and Villalobos had had a long conversation before he left the warehouse. At
Jason's nod he continued, "Be sure you take Francis and Johnny with you. I
don't…I don't trust him, Jason. Not completely. Something's up."
Jason nodded briefly. He knew Mike Villalobos couldn't be trusted, but hoped
now wouldn't be the time he chose to betray them. "I should get
back."
"She's okay?" Sonny asked again.
"We talked for a little and she cried some. But she's in bed now."
"Okay," Sonny answered. Sonny crossed the room and opened the door
for him. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to come over or call.
Otherwise, I'll see you tomorrow. After you meet with Mike, we'll sit down and
come up with something. You, me, Johnny, and Francis."
"Elizabeth needs to be included," Jason said, even as he walked out
the door. "She's not going to let this happen without her."
Sonny nodded before he closed the door. Glancing back at the stack of
unfinished invoices on his desk, he sighed. Dragging a hand across his face, he
looked to the phone. He'd hoped Marie would call, but nothing yet. "Suck
it up, Corinthos," he muttered.
Jason eased into the bed beside Elizabeth and she immediately moved towards
him. "Isabelle?" she asked softly.
"She's with Alexis and Jax. We'll get her tomorrow."
"Okay," she nodded sleepily. "I might wanna have lunch with Jax
tomorrow, if that's okay."
"I have some business to take care of in the morning, so you might wanna
take a guard."
"Andrew's back," she told him. Elizabeth moved her hand to his chest
and began to stroke the muscles there. "He can go with me. He's been my
guard for awhile now. I like Andrew."
Jason's arm settled at her waist where he softly ran his fingers over her hip
and thigh. "Okay."
As he continued to touch her, Elizabeth's caresses of his chest became bolder.
She moved her hand to the hem of his shirt and slipped under it.
"Jason," she sighed.
His hand moved to her back and he pressed her into him more. Jason was aware of
where this could lead, but he didn't stop her just yet. His eyes closed on a
sigh as she rolled his nipple between her fingers.
Propping herself up, Elizabeth loomed over him. Searching his eyes in the
darkness, she lowered her head to kiss him. It was soft and sweet. Two hurt
hearts coming to an understanding. Jason was rubbing her bare back under the
shirt now. His body hummed with contentment as the feeling he'd been missing
for so long came back.
Drawing back because she needed to breathe, Elizabeth moved to his neck. She
took his earlobe in her mouth and softly bit him. Her tongue moved to salve the
wound as her hands traveled south toward his waist. "Jason…" Her hand
slipped into his pants as she rubbed him through the boxer-briefs.
"Yesss," Jason sighed. Shifting them so that he was on top, Jason
looked down at her. "You are so beautiful," he whispered. Kissing her
eyes closed, he traced her jaw with his tongue. "And I love you so
much." His large, calloused hand closed around her soft mound and
Elizabeth sighed with relief. "I've missed you so much," he
continued. "I've missed the way your skin tastes, the way your breath
quickens. I've missed loving you, Elizabeth."
"Yes," she whispered. "Love me, Jason." She continued to
scrape her nails over his hardening member. "Please Jason, just love
me."
"I am Elizabeth." Jason pulled back and stripped the t-shirt over her
head. The moonlight from the window illuminated her alabaster skin. Lowering
his head, Jason took a nipple between his lips and began to suckle her. On
their own accord, Jason's hands moved down lower, into her pajama pants. Moving
under the thin cotton strip, he touched her dampening curls. He caressed the
mound there for her pleasure.
"Lower," she whispered. Her breathing was labored as she ignored the
voice in her head that screamed how wrong this was. No matter what, it felt so
good and she didn't want him to stop. "Lower, Jason. Touch me."
"I am," he teased. Again, he ran his fingers through her curls.
"Touch me."
Wanting to satisfy her, Jason slipped one finger into her body and she arched
off the bed. Her reaction was to wrap her tiny fist around him and began to
pump. Lowering his head, Jason fought for control.
"Yes," she whispered. Her eyes closed with the pleasure and she
sighed happily. "That's it Jason. Make me forget. Please, make me
forget."
Make me forget.
And then he stopped. Moving away from her, he tossed the t-shirt in her
direction. Jason dropped his head in his hands and fought his body's reaction.
Her words were like a bucket of cold water doused on him. "God, Elizabeth.
I'm sorry."
She came out of her haze quickly and reached for the shirt. Mortified by her
actions, she immediately apologized. "I'm sor—sorry, Jason. I don't know
what came over me." Touching his back she felt the jolt and immediately
jerked away from him. "You must thing I'm some kind of whor–"
"Don't say it," he commanded. Turning to face her, she could still
see his love shining there. "Don't even think it, Elizabeth. It happened.
It's over. It won't happen again."
"It won't happen again," she repeated. Why did that make her sad?
"Lay down," he ordered. Jason forced himself to detach from the
situation. "I'll go to my room."
"Stay with me," she said softly.
"Elizabeth–"
She dropped a pillow and blanket on the floor for him. "Please, just stay
in here. It won't happen again."
Not trusting himself to even look at her, Jason dropped to the floor and faced away
from her. "Goodnight Elizabeth."
He heard her sigh before she dropped back into the bed. "Goodnight
Jason…" and then she hesitated, "I love you."
~*~
When she woke up, Elizabeth heard the downstairs shower running. The pillow and
blanket were sitting at the foot of her bed and Jason was already out of her
way. While she was waking up, she'd remembered what happened between them the
previous night. She tried to block it from her mind, but she couldn't. All she
could think about was the way she'd thrown herself at him.
A soft knock on her door pulled her from her thoughts. "Come in."
His hair was still wet from the shower, his feet bare, his t-shirt not tucked
in. "How are you?" he questioned.
Elizabeth nodded slowly, not trusting herself.
"Good." Jason sighed heavily. "Listen, I have to go out…I told
you last night. You said you wanted to have lunch with Jax…Andrew's on the
door."
"Okay," her voice was soft. She tried to smile at him. As he turned
to leave, Elizabeth called out for him.
Jason turned around, the question in his eyes.
She pointed towards the dresser he was in last night. "Under the black
sweater in the third drawer, there's a scrapbook. I kept it for you, if you
want it."
He mutely crossed to the dresser and pulled the scrapbook from its hiding
place. Opening the first page he saw the details of Isabelle's birth in
Elizabeth's scripted writing. "Elizabeth–"
"I kept it for you, so you'd know about her life when you weren't there. I
know you don't have time to look at it now…but if you'd like, we can go through
it together tonight."
He nodded, "I'd like that."
"Okay." Rising from the bed, she went to him. Tentatively she wrapped
her arms around his waist. "Be safe, okay?"
His arms encircled her small body and he held on for a minute. "I will.
Johnny and Francis are going with me. Make sure you take Andrew with you."
"I will," she promised. Elizabeth pulled back from him and moved
towards her closet. She began to pull a bathrobe and towels down for herself.
"Jason?" she asked.
He stood in the doorway watching her. Her admission of love from last night
still rang in his ears. Jason had heard her tiny voice all night long when he
tried to sleep. "Yeah?"
"I meant what I said last night…I do love you. And…" she trailed off.
Fidgeting with the robe in her hand, she dropped her gaze to the floor before
she forced herself to look up. "I think you and I need to talk about the
divorce when you get home."
"Di–divorce?" he stuttered. He'd forgotten all about it with the news
about Abby.
"I don't want one," she said bluntly. "I never have and I never
will. You and I need to decide what we're going to do."
He stood there, stunned, as she disappeared into the bathroom. Minutes later he
heard bathwater start and he forced himself to turn and walk out of the door.
Her final words haunted him even as he met with the two bodyguards outside the
door. And he had that all too familiar feeling of hope again.
