Author's Note:
This is the first of the longer stories I've never finished. While I still
want to continue it, I've run into a huge stumbling block. But I'll discuss
that more later.
This story starts with a summary of a fictitious earlier chapter. This chapter
was never written, as it had nothing to do with the story I wanted to write,
so I just summarized the situation. Since up to that point everything should
have been easy to imagine with all of the characters behaving in character.
It is only after the story starts that Ranma is supposed to act out of
character (OOC) due to the outside influences on him (Hopefully everyone else
is in character; Ranma is supposed to be acting slightly strange). The whole
intent of the story was to explore Ranma's changes, and imply or highlight a
similar condition that actually exists in an amusing, and upbeat manner. The
characters, and hopefully the reader wern't supposed to spot the analogous
condition until week 3 or 4 of the story, so I won't mention what it is here.
While I'll probably title this something like "Dead Man's Coin," or some other
bit of pretentious rot, The working title in my mind has always been "The
Black Dog." There's no dog anywhere in the story, it was an obscure reference
to something Winston Churchhill was said to have said, which has stuck with
me. That's your last hint, and it's soooo small that if it helps anybody at
all to guess it, I'll be shocked.
Unfortunately, while I intended to flit about the real point of the story while
I worked on the plot of the story, the plot of the story is what's all but
killed this story from continuing. I want to write (and have partially
written) things that happen in the story in the future, but at the point where
the story stops, I have no idea what comes next.
I feel some new element of chaos is due to enter Nerima and that the
characters should be dealing with this while the real story goes on in the
background. Similarly to the way the original show/manga often had some drama
going on, while the idiot/fight of the week was going on in the foreground.
I've tried twice to force something to get past my block, but they were
horrible. (Although one of the attempts made the basis for another story,
where the idea worked well by itself.) So until an idea comes to me that fits,
this story is in cold storage, and has been for some time.
I welcome suggestions. In the past, some of my best ideas were sparked by
suggestions, although they rarely look like what the suggester intended. While
it may not look like I'm listening to the idea being given, in reality I'm
immensely greatful, as they often provide the impetus for making something
that is obviously done by me, but that I wouldn't have stumbled on, on my own.
For example, the title to the story I always refered to as "Bastard" (my
opinion of Genma, and not a mention to the manga of the same name, or of
Nodoka's infedelity), and put up on fanfic.net as "I can't think of anything
nasty enough." I received a suggestion from Stephen (injnuity@nwi.net) which I
hope he doesn't mind me posting here, as it's publically viewable in the
reviews of that story, where he suggests "Torn", or "Torn Asunder". I liked
the idea for the reasons he presented, and because of how it fit Ranma's
family situation (his separation from his mother), but I didn't like the word
"Torn" as it sounded too passive, like it was an accident. I was thinking
about "Ripped" (and thinking about it only because of Stephen's suggestions)
when I gravitated to the Macbeth Quote "From His Mother's Womb Untimely
Ripp'd" which conveyed everything I wanted. For me it's a perfect
title. Pretentious, applicable, tripple entendre, and didn't give away the
story.
If any of you have ideas for a better title for this, or suggestions for how
this should continue past day 18, PLEASE, PLEASE send them to me. While I
probably wont use them in the form they're sent to me, they're like gold to me
in terms of getting my mind working, or past a block like the one I have in
this story.
If I don't receive anything, this story will peter out, never finished. I'll
eventually post the story fragments and ideas behind the story, and leave it
incomplete if that happens, but I'd really like to finish this as it was my
first story that was more than a short story. Right now it's about the length
of a smaller paperback book, and it's only halfway done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dead Man's Coin
Trouble pursues Shampoo
What has gone before:
Cologne has received a message from home about the theft of an ancient treasure of their tribe, the `dying man coin', by a long-time rival of Shampoo, named Peroxide. This coin was only used when the Nyuchezuu tribe was in danger of serious loss, or defeat, because it's use invariably lead to insanity and death in the user. If it weren't for these drawbacks, Cologne wouldn't have dared asking Ranma for help, because otherwise the coin would have been a dream-come-true for Ranma.
The coin binds to the wearer, and increases the wearer's speed of thought, boosts the wearer's energy, Increases the wearers ability to come up with non-obvious solutions, and makes the wearer male. It was traditionally worn by a leader, who had resigned herself to death, before facing an enemy of the Nyuchezuu tribe, and was one of the reasons the amazons weren't often attacked by other Chinese tribes. The coin wasn't coveted by the Amazon's neighbors, because it would only bond to a woman.
Peroxide intended to kill Shampoo, and force Cologne to make Peroxide heir to the clan. The coin boosted Peroxide to the point where she could easily beat Shampoo, and might have a chance to beat Cologne. Unfortunately for Peroxide, she wore the coin right after stealing it, and during the long journey to Japan, had gone mad as a hatter. Mad enough to frighten Kodachi and Azusa.
After a long battle, causing major property damage, a semi-paralyzed Peroxide (from Cologne's use of shiatzu points) succumbed to a heart failure while simultaneously being hit by Ranma's mouko takabisha and Ryouga's shishi houkoudan. Heart attack being the traditional death arising from using the coin.
Ranma retrieves the coin from the corpse of Peroxide, but before he can return it to the semi-conscious Cologne, the long repressed hostilities between these uneasy allies resurfaces, and inevitably, Ranma winds up in the canal, still holding the coin.
* * *
Story begins:
A male Ranma surfaces from the canal. "Why can't I land on something hard and pointed? Why is it always water?" he mutters. Surprised by his voice, he examines himself, and shouts "I'm cured!" Then he looks at his right palm, and sees the coin affixed to it, and whispers "I'm going to die."
After reviving, the weary survivors trudge to the Tofu clinic. Cologne isn't in the best of shape, and is being carried by Shampoo. Ranma is a pale white, with Ukyou and Akane hovering around him. Ryouga is carrying the corpse of Peroxide.
Even the Kunos are quiet. Something about facing an insane person who can out fight the lot of them combined without receiving an injury. Realizing the only reason they won is because their enemies heart gave out. And now they may have to go through the same thing with Ranma later. Well, that's enough to quiet even Tatewaki.
While Tofu sees to the injured, two policemen take the statements of those recovering in the waiting room, or those waiting for the others (yes, even in the Takahashi universe, the police are needed when someone dies in combat). An ambulance comes to remove the body, as Ranma comes out of the examination room, along with the policemen who were getting his statement.
Cologne asks the officers what kind of trouble is likely to result from the death. The policemen are pretty optimistic "Well, assuming everything checks out, this should pass quickly. We'd like a statement from her home family documenting her change in behavior. But otherwise, she's an illegal alien who matches the description of a petty thief that stole food along a line from the coast to here, and was occasionally heard to make threats about killing someone in Chinese. She's dead, but there isn't a mark on her, so even though you are all martial artists and should have better control over yourselves in dealing injury, your responsibility for the death will likely be ruled minor. You'll all have to verify this before a judge, but he'll probably rule you all as witnesses defending the town." With that, the police leave, and everyone gathers around Cologne, Tofu, and Ranma.
Cologne asks Ranma "did the coin stick to you before you fell into the canal?"
"No, before I entered the water it seemed like just a normal coin."
"Ranchan, how do you feel?"
"Actually very well. Not like I just went through that fight. Sure I'm bruised, and a bit bloodied, but I feel ready for more."
"That's typical of the workings of the coin," Cologne adds, "let's hope it detaches when we pour hot water on you."
This is tried (Although the Kunos don't understand why), but the coin doesn't loosen. Ranma comments "Suddenly I feel like this afternoon has caught up with me."
"Is `dying man coin' going to kill Ranma, great grandmother?" Shampoo demanded. "I don't know child. If it weren't for his curse, it wouldn't have affected him at all. For a normal girl it would take somewhere between three months to a year to be fatal. In Ranmas case, he should probably last at least that long before being in danger. We have a good deal of time to think about this, and to find a way to remove it before it becomes a danger to Ranma. Right now the biggest danger is in getting into a fight with him, he's stronger than he realizes, and might do more damage than he intends."
Ranma considers this, and adds "In that case, lets worry about this tomorrow. I'll come by the Nekohanten tomorrow after school to see you, Cologne. Right now I just want a full night's sleep." Doctor Tofu adds "Thats probably the best idea, but Ranma, I'd like to see you daily for a while, to monitor your health."
With that, everyone heads for home. The usually thoughtless bunch, suddenly thoughtful over the possible death of Ranma in the not-distant-enough future.
When Ranma and Akane return to the dojo, Ranma crawls upstairs to bed. Akane, who was relatively uninjured inspite of her attempts to prove herself to the others (due to Ranma's overprotectiveness), stays up, and explains what happened to the rest of the family over dinner (Yes, Ranma is sleeping through dinner; it was an exhausting fight). Soun is weeping openly about the fate of the dojo. Genma would have begun plotting something stupid now that Ranma is male, but that proved too much for his concentration; Genma was too busy worrying over his son's upcoming death, and trying to eat his and his son's portion of dinner.
With all of the major violent characters (barring Happosai, who hadn't been seen in a few days) in a subdued mood, or outright exhausted, the evening passed quietly.
* * *
This is the first of the longer stories I've never finished. While I still
want to continue it, I've run into a huge stumbling block. But I'll discuss
that more later.
This story starts with a summary of a fictitious earlier chapter. This chapter
was never written, as it had nothing to do with the story I wanted to write,
so I just summarized the situation. Since up to that point everything should
have been easy to imagine with all of the characters behaving in character.
It is only after the story starts that Ranma is supposed to act out of
character (OOC) due to the outside influences on him (Hopefully everyone else
is in character; Ranma is supposed to be acting slightly strange). The whole
intent of the story was to explore Ranma's changes, and imply or highlight a
similar condition that actually exists in an amusing, and upbeat manner. The
characters, and hopefully the reader wern't supposed to spot the analogous
condition until week 3 or 4 of the story, so I won't mention what it is here.
While I'll probably title this something like "Dead Man's Coin," or some other
bit of pretentious rot, The working title in my mind has always been "The
Black Dog." There's no dog anywhere in the story, it was an obscure reference
to something Winston Churchhill was said to have said, which has stuck with
me. That's your last hint, and it's soooo small that if it helps anybody at
all to guess it, I'll be shocked.
Unfortunately, while I intended to flit about the real point of the story while
I worked on the plot of the story, the plot of the story is what's all but
killed this story from continuing. I want to write (and have partially
written) things that happen in the story in the future, but at the point where
the story stops, I have no idea what comes next.
I feel some new element of chaos is due to enter Nerima and that the
characters should be dealing with this while the real story goes on in the
background. Similarly to the way the original show/manga often had some drama
going on, while the idiot/fight of the week was going on in the foreground.
I've tried twice to force something to get past my block, but they were
horrible. (Although one of the attempts made the basis for another story,
where the idea worked well by itself.) So until an idea comes to me that fits,
this story is in cold storage, and has been for some time.
I welcome suggestions. In the past, some of my best ideas were sparked by
suggestions, although they rarely look like what the suggester intended. While
it may not look like I'm listening to the idea being given, in reality I'm
immensely greatful, as they often provide the impetus for making something
that is obviously done by me, but that I wouldn't have stumbled on, on my own.
For example, the title to the story I always refered to as "Bastard" (my
opinion of Genma, and not a mention to the manga of the same name, or of
Nodoka's infedelity), and put up on fanfic.net as "I can't think of anything
nasty enough." I received a suggestion from Stephen (injnuity@nwi.net) which I
hope he doesn't mind me posting here, as it's publically viewable in the
reviews of that story, where he suggests "Torn", or "Torn Asunder". I liked
the idea for the reasons he presented, and because of how it fit Ranma's
family situation (his separation from his mother), but I didn't like the word
"Torn" as it sounded too passive, like it was an accident. I was thinking
about "Ripped" (and thinking about it only because of Stephen's suggestions)
when I gravitated to the Macbeth Quote "From His Mother's Womb Untimely
Ripp'd" which conveyed everything I wanted. For me it's a perfect
title. Pretentious, applicable, tripple entendre, and didn't give away the
story.
If any of you have ideas for a better title for this, or suggestions for how
this should continue past day 18, PLEASE, PLEASE send them to me. While I
probably wont use them in the form they're sent to me, they're like gold to me
in terms of getting my mind working, or past a block like the one I have in
this story.
If I don't receive anything, this story will peter out, never finished. I'll
eventually post the story fragments and ideas behind the story, and leave it
incomplete if that happens, but I'd really like to finish this as it was my
first story that was more than a short story. Right now it's about the length
of a smaller paperback book, and it's only halfway done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dead Man's Coin
Trouble pursues Shampoo
What has gone before:
Cologne has received a message from home about the theft of an ancient treasure of their tribe, the `dying man coin', by a long-time rival of Shampoo, named Peroxide. This coin was only used when the Nyuchezuu tribe was in danger of serious loss, or defeat, because it's use invariably lead to insanity and death in the user. If it weren't for these drawbacks, Cologne wouldn't have dared asking Ranma for help, because otherwise the coin would have been a dream-come-true for Ranma.
The coin binds to the wearer, and increases the wearer's speed of thought, boosts the wearer's energy, Increases the wearers ability to come up with non-obvious solutions, and makes the wearer male. It was traditionally worn by a leader, who had resigned herself to death, before facing an enemy of the Nyuchezuu tribe, and was one of the reasons the amazons weren't often attacked by other Chinese tribes. The coin wasn't coveted by the Amazon's neighbors, because it would only bond to a woman.
Peroxide intended to kill Shampoo, and force Cologne to make Peroxide heir to the clan. The coin boosted Peroxide to the point where she could easily beat Shampoo, and might have a chance to beat Cologne. Unfortunately for Peroxide, she wore the coin right after stealing it, and during the long journey to Japan, had gone mad as a hatter. Mad enough to frighten Kodachi and Azusa.
After a long battle, causing major property damage, a semi-paralyzed Peroxide (from Cologne's use of shiatzu points) succumbed to a heart failure while simultaneously being hit by Ranma's mouko takabisha and Ryouga's shishi houkoudan. Heart attack being the traditional death arising from using the coin.
Ranma retrieves the coin from the corpse of Peroxide, but before he can return it to the semi-conscious Cologne, the long repressed hostilities between these uneasy allies resurfaces, and inevitably, Ranma winds up in the canal, still holding the coin.
* * *
Story begins:
A male Ranma surfaces from the canal. "Why can't I land on something hard and pointed? Why is it always water?" he mutters. Surprised by his voice, he examines himself, and shouts "I'm cured!" Then he looks at his right palm, and sees the coin affixed to it, and whispers "I'm going to die."
After reviving, the weary survivors trudge to the Tofu clinic. Cologne isn't in the best of shape, and is being carried by Shampoo. Ranma is a pale white, with Ukyou and Akane hovering around him. Ryouga is carrying the corpse of Peroxide.
Even the Kunos are quiet. Something about facing an insane person who can out fight the lot of them combined without receiving an injury. Realizing the only reason they won is because their enemies heart gave out. And now they may have to go through the same thing with Ranma later. Well, that's enough to quiet even Tatewaki.
While Tofu sees to the injured, two policemen take the statements of those recovering in the waiting room, or those waiting for the others (yes, even in the Takahashi universe, the police are needed when someone dies in combat). An ambulance comes to remove the body, as Ranma comes out of the examination room, along with the policemen who were getting his statement.
Cologne asks the officers what kind of trouble is likely to result from the death. The policemen are pretty optimistic "Well, assuming everything checks out, this should pass quickly. We'd like a statement from her home family documenting her change in behavior. But otherwise, she's an illegal alien who matches the description of a petty thief that stole food along a line from the coast to here, and was occasionally heard to make threats about killing someone in Chinese. She's dead, but there isn't a mark on her, so even though you are all martial artists and should have better control over yourselves in dealing injury, your responsibility for the death will likely be ruled minor. You'll all have to verify this before a judge, but he'll probably rule you all as witnesses defending the town." With that, the police leave, and everyone gathers around Cologne, Tofu, and Ranma.
Cologne asks Ranma "did the coin stick to you before you fell into the canal?"
"No, before I entered the water it seemed like just a normal coin."
"Ranchan, how do you feel?"
"Actually very well. Not like I just went through that fight. Sure I'm bruised, and a bit bloodied, but I feel ready for more."
"That's typical of the workings of the coin," Cologne adds, "let's hope it detaches when we pour hot water on you."
This is tried (Although the Kunos don't understand why), but the coin doesn't loosen. Ranma comments "Suddenly I feel like this afternoon has caught up with me."
"Is `dying man coin' going to kill Ranma, great grandmother?" Shampoo demanded. "I don't know child. If it weren't for his curse, it wouldn't have affected him at all. For a normal girl it would take somewhere between three months to a year to be fatal. In Ranmas case, he should probably last at least that long before being in danger. We have a good deal of time to think about this, and to find a way to remove it before it becomes a danger to Ranma. Right now the biggest danger is in getting into a fight with him, he's stronger than he realizes, and might do more damage than he intends."
Ranma considers this, and adds "In that case, lets worry about this tomorrow. I'll come by the Nekohanten tomorrow after school to see you, Cologne. Right now I just want a full night's sleep." Doctor Tofu adds "Thats probably the best idea, but Ranma, I'd like to see you daily for a while, to monitor your health."
With that, everyone heads for home. The usually thoughtless bunch, suddenly thoughtful over the possible death of Ranma in the not-distant-enough future.
When Ranma and Akane return to the dojo, Ranma crawls upstairs to bed. Akane, who was relatively uninjured inspite of her attempts to prove herself to the others (due to Ranma's overprotectiveness), stays up, and explains what happened to the rest of the family over dinner (Yes, Ranma is sleeping through dinner; it was an exhausting fight). Soun is weeping openly about the fate of the dojo. Genma would have begun plotting something stupid now that Ranma is male, but that proved too much for his concentration; Genma was too busy worrying over his son's upcoming death, and trying to eat his and his son's portion of dinner.
With all of the major violent characters (barring Happosai, who hadn't been seen in a few days) in a subdued mood, or outright exhausted, the evening passed quietly.
* * *