The next morning was too fast for any serious discussion before school. Nodoka was pleased to see how energetic her son was, even though a few minutes earlier he was happily asleep.
Instead of his usual morning's sparring with his father, he practiced katas, trying to achieve amaguriken speeds without sacrificing the precision he achieved at lower speeds. Hopefully he could use his boosted metabolism to improve his skills so that he'd retain some of the benefits if he gets a cure for the 'dead man's coin'.
Ranma asks Nodoka if she could keep an eye on the panda to make sure it doesn't leave. "He'll probably spend the day playing shoji or go with Mr. Tendo, but as fond as he is of Ranko, I wouldn't put it past him to try to visit some of our old training grounds. Tracking him down would be a real pain." Ranma casually glares at the big panda while he finishes (ostensibly to Nodoka, but with veiled message for his father, "It's better for his health if he stays here. He might not realize it, but if he left now, he'd likely shorten his own life."
Nodoka asks "How did that panda learn to play go? He and Soun play without a handicap. Such training is quite impressive."
While Soun and panda sweat over this question, Ranma deflects this easily. "Aww, Soun and Genma play all the time, and when Genma can't be found, the panda plays. The panda's watched every game Soun and Genma play. Soun is responsible for all of the practice the panda gets, but Genma is responsible for all of the panda's playing ability. Go is a trivial game to learn after all, and that panda isn't just a dumb animal."
Soun adds to Ranma's explanation, "No one ever masters go anyway, there's always new levels of complexity to discover. Playing at any level is an exercise of the intellect of each player. There is no winning strategy to learn. The play of the game itself is what's important."
* * *
As Ranma and Akane run to school, Akane asks Ranma "When are you going to tell your mother about everything else? You've been talking around a lot of subjects, but you said you'd tell her everything."
Well, I think the first thing would be to tell her about all of this fiancee mess. She won't be able to follow what's going on at all until that's explained fully. I don't care when she discovers Shampoo and Mousse's curses, but whenever that happens, we'll have to tell her about my problem with cats. I don't want to drag you into this, but I'll need your help if I slip into cat mode again. You or Kasumi might have to explain some of it if things don't go smoothly. Then we tell her about my Jusenkyou curse, but we show her it's cured now. Then the hard part; I tell my mother I've been deceiving her as Ranko. If I survive it, we tell her about the coin keeping me male. Finally we tell her about the coin killing me in a year. I wanna stretch this out, there's no way anyone could take in all this at once. I think even Kasumi might be shocked beyond just saying `Oh, my' if she learned all of this at once, and she's easily the most unflapable person I ever met."
"Nabiki is pretty hard to shake up too, don't you think?"
"No, Nabiki is as easy to surprise as most people, she just never lets anyone see it. She has a better pokerface than the Gambling King. Kasumi is another case entirely. Godzilla could rampage through our back yard wearing a pink tutu and a sailor's cap, and Kasumi's first thought would be that she better re-sweep up the leaves."
Akane giggles briefly over the imagery "Yeah, I can see that. She'd probably say `Ranma, is this another of your friends over to visit?'"
"If he understood even moderate Japanese, he'd probably be invited for a cup of tea. Sometimes I think of her as my perfect opposite."
"What do you mean by that?"
"No need to get defensive, it isn't an insult. No one would ever insult Kasumi. No one would attack her, she never fights. The strongest attack she can make sounds like a mild rebuke, but it can hit you harder than Ryouga's shishi houkoudan. I have to fight half of Nerima to do what I think is right, she quietly requests things, and everything works out. Think about everyone she invited last Christmas to that party. If you or pop sent out the invitations, many of them wouldn't have shown up. If I did it, we'd probably would have had to rebuild the dojo from scratch after the fight. You know I wouldn't want to destroy the dojo, but you also know it probably would be wrecked. Kasumi shared a kitchen with Shampoo, Ukyou, and Kodachi. Anyone else would need to be a martial artist to escape unscathed, even then, you or I would have risked some collateral damage from random drugs and flying water, and what happens? Kodachi drugs herself, and sleeps the guilt-free sleep of the non compos mentis. Kasumi has mastered the perfect defense. Lets be honest, I've seen pictures of your mother occasionally, and Kasumi is becoming a beautiful woman like she was, right?"
"Yes?" Akane agreed, but had no idea where this conversation was going now.
"Have you EVER seen Happosai glomp onto her? He attacks me regularly, and I'm a guy. He's put a bra on Cologne. He may be a hentai deviant mutant, but even HE isn't perverse enough to violate Kasumi."
By this point, they've finally reached the school's gates so, of course, they are intercepted by Tatewaki Kuno.
"Ranma Saotome, what have you done with the pig-tailed girl?" Kuno charged at Ranma, bokken drawn for attack
"Hold, and I'll tell you."
Once he digests the fact that Ranma was going to answer his questions, he stops his headlong charge at Ranma. "For the information I need, I'll withhold the thrashing you so richly deserve. Speak! Speak at once, I say!"
"She has gone, for reasons of her own, having something to do with family honor. She left unexpectedly, but of her own choice. I think her trip will be more difficult than she thought when leaving. She explicitly said she wanted no one else to know of her destination. I think she'll return here as soon as she can, but she didn't know how long it would take."
"Speak, cur. Tell me where she is!"
Ranma appears to have snapped in anger. "I know you think so little of me, but to find out where she is would be insulting her. Think of your honor and hers! Have you never had a problem within your family that you didn't want others to know? As a samurai, you must place her honor in high regard. Anything you find out about this trip will cheapen that. You could gladly ask Nabiki where she went, if you hold her wishes in such contempt. Nabiki would probably give you all the information you are willing to pay for. So if you want to hear more than you should, I suggest you ask Nabiki in private, instead of trying to shame your goddess in public!"
Kuno was uncharacteristically silent. No one else said a word, as everyone wondered over what Kuno's reaction would be. Finally, he gives Ranma a brief nod. "Thank you Saotome, for the information you have given me. I spoke in haste, and you have delayed me until I was able to act rationally. I do not trust you, and will verify her departure myself, but I'll honor her request, and give her the privacy to set matters right within her own family. Family matters are, after all, rather tricky. If you communicate with her before I do, tell her my heart goes with her, I would like to help, and that I will not pry." and with that, Kuno strode away.
Akane looks at Ranma, and asks him "Why did you tell him that? And when did you think THAT up?"
"Yesterday, during class. He never believes the whole truth about my curse. He'd never give me a moment's peace if I lied. The only way to get any peace from him, is to tell the truth, and make him desire not to pursue the pig-tailed girl. I couldn't think up anything to get him to go away for good, but this might keep him until he actually sees her again."
"Do you think you could get him to leave ME alone too?" Akane hoped.
"If I had a plan for that, I'd have gotten him to give up on the pig-tailed girl for good. If I think of one, I'll try it. You would have better luck amassing a small fortune, and bribing Nabiki to do it. When it comes to talking around Kuno, she's Ben better than me, for far longer than me."
"I'll hold off on that. I've no desire to pay to see the irresistible force of my sister's intelligence clash with the immovable force of Kuno's love-sick stupidity."
* * *
Hours later, during lunch period, Kuno approached Nabiki in private. "Nabiki Tendo, I would speak with you on a matter of extreme delicacy, on a matter surrounding the pig-tailed girl. I find myself morally constrained not to learn anything about her whereabouts, beyond the absolute minimum to test the veracity of what I learned from Ranma this morning. Will you consent to answering some yes-or-no questions about my pig-tailed goddess?"
Nabiki thought for a moment. Something was going on that she wasn't watching for. Kuno's requests rarely caught her by surprise, except of course when she occasionally underestimated his stupidity or inanity. "1000 yen a question."
Kuno quietly handed Nabiki 2000 yen. Nabiki's interest peaked a bit. He didn't argue over the amount, Nabiki could have acquired a bit more.
Kuno began his question. "Earlier this morning, Ranma Saotome said that my beloved pig-tailed girl desired that I do not know were she is right now. Is this true?"
A smile came upon Nabiki's lips. "Yes, it is true."
"I had not expected the cur Ranma to have given me true information, but I know you would never lie about any answer duly paid for. I must ask you one more question, and I pray you restrict yourself to only one word, lest my mighty intellect might later infer additional information from some other inconsequential verbiage. Oh, how I am playing a risky game with fate, not unlike trying to dust the lid of Pandora's box. Please tell me Nabiki, is the absence of the pig-tailed goddess from my worshipful view due to a matter which pertains to her families honor? Please say you, yes or no."
"Yes."
"Blast this cruel fate which separates such love. But I shall rise above it. I go now to meditate on the proper conduct fitting for her absence." And with that, he strides away.
Nabiki thought, well 2000 yen, but I should have been able to get more. I've been getting a bit lax regarding Kuno and Ranma. I'll be more careful over the next few days.
* * *
Ranma spent most of the morning fidgeting in his chair, suffering under the burden of a boring lecture, made even more painful by Ranma's current inability to fall asleep due to his high energy. While most of the class has the dazed expression of a captive audience, Ranma is spinning pens around his fingers with a speed and intensity that make the pens look like they might be usable as a missile.
As soon as class ends for lunch, Ukyou approaches Akane's desk, and asks her what has got into Ranma. "Why is he bouncing off the walls like that?
Akane smiles for a moment "So many things have happened since school yesterday, I'm not sure where to begin. After I got home, he called me into the dojo to talk about seeing his mother. he talked on and on about taking advantage of being a man, and his possibly dying in a year. He said he'd either visit her, or invite her over. Then his father rushed in to take him on another training trip, because Nodoka was in the living room."
"What happened?"
"Ranma knocked Genma over and rushed to her. We got into an argument about our fathers, and revealed that Ranma has multiple fiancees in front of Nodoka. She's going to try to settle things once she gets a grasp of them all. Then after Ranma fought Mousse, Mousse stayed for dinner, and told Nodoka all about amazon customs, and Cologne's plots. Ranma seemed so lively and energetic all last night."
At this point Ranma joined their discussion. "Ucchan, my mom's visiting. We told her about the multiple fiancees. You ought to meet her. Do you think you should meet at the Tendos, or at your restaurant?"
"However she wants. For something as big as this, I'd close the store for the night."
"Ranma." Akane interrupts, "There's something I've been thinking about all morning during class. As long as I've known you, you've been against being forced to marry any of your fiancees. When you introduce your mother to everyone, isn't she going to take sides, and pressure you into marrying someone? You seem to be actively trying to get her involved. Why?"
Ukyou also, is interested in how Ranma will answer, so she and Akane wait while Ranma does something he has rarely done in the past. Ranma is thinking before he speaks. "I don't have a simple reason to give. Well, I could give you a simple answer, but it wouldn't be right. I think I'm doing it for several reasons, but some of them seem contradictory. Besides, any time the three of us talk seriously about marriage, one of you pounds me, so maybe we should discuss this when we aren't in school; there are too many people around."
Akane misunderstands. "None of us hurt bystanders when we fight!"
Ranma corrects "I didn't mean them! I meant too many people who'd love to join in a fight. Kuno's in another classroom. Hinako-sensei is around here somewhere. Rumor has it that Kuno-kouchou isn't in Hawaii, so he's probably around. and there are groups of girls with access to brooms who love to beat up `enemies of women'. The only places worse to discuss this would be the Nekohanten, or surrounded by our three parents. I love martial arts, but I'm not in the mood for a brawl right now." At this point, a dull boom is heard "Che, I did just say I didn't want a fight, right?" Ranma then announces in a voice loud enough for the entire room "I'm gonna talk to Kuno now." And with that, he runs from the room as a second muffled boom occurs, but louder than the first.
"He wants to talk with Kuno?" a third, louder muffled boom is heard.
For the fourth boom, part of the wall breaks, and Shampoo stands there in the dissipating dust holding a delivery box. "Nihao, where's Ranma"
"He went to talk to Kuno." some helpful student offers.
"Then I will find Kuno!" and Shampoo leaves the classroom.
A few seconds later, the classroom door opens and Ranma slips in and grabs his bag. "That seems to have worked. I'm going to disappear for a while, and eat Kasumi's lunch in peace. I'll be back for class."
Ukyou and Akane stare until Ukyou comments "Ranma avoiding a fight, and succeeding? Have you ever seen him manage that before?"
"That is new. He did say something this morning about Kasumi mastering the perfect defense."
"I've never seen your sister fight anyone before."
"That's what he meant. She never gets into a fight, so no blows hit her."
"Well Cologne and Tofu told him to avoid fights, but I never thought he'd be able to actually do it."
* * *
After School, Ranma left for Dr. Tofu's clinic, while Akane went home. Nodoka asked Akane if they could talk in private, and led her up to the guest room Nodoka was using. she had a pot of tea ready, and the two of them sat down to enjoy a mug together as they began to talk.
"Akane, why didn't you tell me about Ranma's other girlfriends before?"
"I'm not sure. I don't really talk much about Ranma with anyone. Nabiki is always teasing me about him. Kasumi takes everything in stride, I can't really discuss this with her. Daddy is hopeless, he keeps trying to force us married; he can't listen to anything about marriage with out flying into rage or tears. My friends either tell me I should dump him for being insensitive or rude, or they tell me he's cute. The whole school is betting on my relationship with Ranma, with Nabiki running the betting pool. Everyone else either wants to marry him, or kill him. The only one I talk about it is my pet, P-chan."
"When Ranma first came here, I had a crush on someone else. I hated all the boys in school, and fought with thirty of them every morning before school. Daddy decided we had to marry, and kept pushing us and begging us. When the other girls showed up he started to become desperate. He and Genma keep coming up with plans to try to get us married, or to kiss in public, and everything they try leads to a brawl as one of his girlfriends or enemies shows up. Sometimes it seems that the only thing we do agree on is that we don't want to marry or kiss in public. Ranma doesn't seem to want to do that with anyone. The other girls would agree in a minute."
"Have you ever kissed in private?"
"No. A couple of times I thought we were going to, but something always happened. Once he kissed me on the cheek in front of the whole school, but he wasn't sane at the time, and he never remembered it."
"What do you mean he wasn't sane? Is something wrong with him?"
"So many things have happened to him. If something weird can happen, It will happen to Ranma sooner or later. He always seems to fight off his problems, but new ones seem to keep happening. He already told me he intends to explain the story surrounding the kiss pretty soon. He even asked me this morning to explain it to you if he can't. So I feel I should wait until he brings this one up."
"You and Ranma have been answering my questions, but I still feel that there is a lot neither of you are telling me."
"There is Saotome-san. But Ranma told me he plans to tell you all of it. He just doesn't want to tell you all at once. I think I agree with him on this. He said no one could take this all at once."
"You had me relieved until that last sentence. I'll try to respect his wishes, and let him tell me in his own time."
* * *
Ranma returns home, and over dinner both families discuss the best way for Nodoka to meet the other girls. At first Soun is against the idea, but as soon as he learns that she'll meet them eventually, he joins into the discussion as a willing participant.
Nodoka asks "Where should I meet them?"
Ranma answers "If Mr. Tendo agrees, I'd like you to meet them here, during this visit." as Mr. Tendo is about to violently object, Ranma adds "My mother would otherwise have to visit them all at their homes. I trust Ukyou and even Shampoo, but I don't trust Kodachi or Cologne not to take advantage of the situation. Mr. Tendo, do you want to risk them trying to force me into a marriage?"
At this, Soun rethinks his position, and agrees to everything Ranma suggests. Finally it is agreed that Ranma will contact the girls to arrange a separate visit with each of them. They also decide one guest a day would be plenty, and that the visit should just be between Nodoka, Ranma and the girl. Since it is now Friday, they decide to try to schedule one each for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.
After dinner, Ranma leaves to set everything up.
* * *
The dinner crowd is still eating as Ranma enters Ucchan's restaurant. "Ucchan. If you're free, could you come over Monday after school to meet my mother? It will just be a quiet discussion with you, me, and her."
"Sure Ranchan. How do you plan to keep it from getting interrupted?"
"Well, Akane can prevent Tsubasa from entering. All the other girls will have their meeting cancelled if they interfere, and all of the other boys want this meeting to go well. I came here to make sure Monday was OK for you before I set up the other two meetings. I'm off to the Nekohanten, see ya."
* * *
The Nekohanten was also busy.
"Airen! Where were you during lunch today?"
"Hi, Shampoo. I was all over the place. I'm sorry you couldn't find me. My mother is in town, and she'd like to meet you. Could you come over to the Tendo house Tuesday afternoon?"
"Aiah! Glad to come!"
"Son-in-law, we'd be honored."
"Ahh, this was intended as a private meeting with Shampoo and my mother. But if you'd like to change it, I'm sure she'd be willing to invite you and Mousse. She wanted to meet each of the girls who want to marry me, since she already knows Akane. She wants to try to understand how I got so many persistent suitors. If things go badly, there's a chance I may have to commit seppuku, so I hope this can go as smoothly as possible."
"Very well. Shampoo will go alone. I'll keep Mousse from interfering. How do you plan to keep the others from interfering?"
"Akane and Ukyou would both look bad in my mothers eyes if they interfered. Kodachi isn't so reasonable, but her introduction is on Wednesday, so my mother and I will cancel her invitation should she interfere. I want to make this clear, this is a meeting to talk and for her to get to know Shampoo, not an omiai. I'm not about to marry anyone while I still have the `dead mans coin'. Also I haven't told her about the coin or my curse yet. I'm going to, but not yet, so please keep from mentioning it to them. When I do, I'll have to prove to her that magic exists, and I don't want to reveal my father's curse at that time. would one of you or Mousse be willing to prove to her that magic works?"
"When the time comes, son-in-law, we'd be delighted. Please return an invitation to your mother. We'd like her to try Shampoo's cooking. You're also invited, of course, but try to keep a mob from showing up, and staging a brawl."
"That would be nice. I expect my mother will be around more than she has of late. When I finally tell her about the coin, I'm sure she'll want to speak to you about it. May I use your phone? I have to invite Kodachi, and I don't want to see her in person."
* * *
beep-beep, beep-beep, click "Moshi moshi, The great house of Kuno. to whom do you wish to speak?"
"This is Ranma. I'm calling for Kodachi."
"You do? I'll go get her."
"Ranma-sama, what bliss to hear from you."
"Kodachi, my mother's visiting, and she wants to meet you. It would be a private meeting with her and I at the Tendo's on Wednesday afternoon after school."
"I'll gladly come. Thank you for inviting me."
"There are three things though. This is supposed to be a quiet, informal meeting. Please don't bring any flowers, or gymnastics tools, or animals. My mother and I will provide any defense necessary."
"Oh, that removes half the fun. I'll see you two on Wednesday then."
* * *
Ranma returned home, and announced his success in arranging the upcoming meetings. "I may have even convinced Kodachi to show up without an arsenal and a poison dispensary. Cologne and Mousse will keep each other from interfering. If Akane would watch for Ryouga, and Tatewaki, we might be able to hold all three meetings without an attack. Akane, do you mind standing guard for these meetings? You are one of the few people who can reason with Ryouga if he shows up, and everyone knows you could handle Kuno. Even if you no longer defeat him daily, he's never bested you yet."
"Sure, I guess. as long as I don't have to deal with Kodachi. Do you really think they'll try to interfere?"
"Not intentionally, but both of them have a tendency to forget everything but their desire to kill me. Luckily both will be distracted by you talking to them, and then you can either trash Kuno, or reason with Ryouga."
"What about Tsubasa and Mousse?"
"Tsubasa could be defeated by Nabiki. You can handle him as easily as Cologne can Mousse. Cologne will keep Mousse busy on Tuesday. Besides, Mousse always attacks for some reason. The only reason he'd attack on Ukyou's or Kodachi's night would be if he had to listen to Cologne plotting something. At this point, he's more of an early warning system. I'm going out to the dojo to train."
* * *
Nabiki entered the dojo to talk to Ranma. "Congratulations Ranma, I heard about your speech to Kuno this morning. I'm not sure I can remember anyone else directing him so effectively."
"Thank you! Before I came here, I would have never even been able to consider it. I spent my whole life learning to fight, but no matter how often I beat up Kuno, he never improves. I realized yesterday that with me unable to change genders, he'd hound me daily. You are the only one I know who actually got him to think something else, so I tried to see how you did it. I begin to see how elegant your handling of him is. I had to bludgeon him with his honor, you could have made him think it was his own idea."
"Flattery will get you nowhere. But thank you, anyway. You do realize that Kuno is my biggest source of income. Do you see your plans for Kuno to interfere with me?"
"I hadn't thought of that. There's some information I want from you, but I'm broke, and had nothing to offer you. I'll offer you a trade. I'll tell you everything I plan to tell Kuno, and everything I'd like to do, but haven't figured out how to do, if you'll tell me how Kuno's taking my story."
"You do know I could learn most of that myself."
"Of course, thats why I offered to tell you what I'd like to do. I don't want to step on your toes. But after even a temporary reprieve from Kuno's innuendo that I'm performing perversions with myself, I don't see how I can resist trying it in the future. I can't imagine how I'd find out your plans for Kuno, so I'll have to show you mine, or we might bump each other in the dark. I look at it like a three-way fight. Two strangers meet in a wood, to fight a third. They both have different reasons, and aren't on the same side. But they can fight him together if one of them tries to stay out of the others way. If you force me not to fight, we both waste energy on each other. If we both attack as we'd like, without me getting in your way, we can't help but do well. If we keep everything from each other, we might kick each other by mistake."
"I think I can live with that. Kuno came to me and asked me two yes-or-no questions. He was trying to verify your story without insulting your girl-side's wishes. With the questions he asked, I couldn't help but verify your story. He left to meditate on it. Then he got into a fight with Shampoo when she asked where you were, and he said his usual insulting things about you. He spent the afternoon in the nurses office. Who knows what spin he'll put on your story, but I think you got him to believe it all. Now, spill it."
"Sure. The biggest thing I want is for him to stop suggesting that I'm molesting my girl-side. He and his sister think we are pursuing each other. The idea turns my stomach. I'm gonna try to convince him that even though some people have said she's Akane's cousin, that we treat each other like family. He shouldn't find that too hard to believe eventually, since I act so similarly in my different forms. We fight the same, mostly. Comments about one of us bothers the other. He'd never believe she were my sister, but we treat each other as brother and sister. She's legally able to decide who she wants to date, but insulting one of us, angers the other. Hopefully this'll keep Kuno from attacking as often, or at least insulting my male form in my female form's face, if I ever have it again."
"If I could, I'd end his obsession with Akane and me. But I'd have an easier time getting him hooked on Martial Arts Gymnastics, and his sister into Kendo. While I'm at it, I'll wave my hands, and have Hinako-sensei zap Kuno-kouchou daily for hentai thoughts about cutting hair, and convince Happosai to become a pillar of community morality."
"I've sort of given up on convincing either Tatewaki or Kodachi about my curse. But if I can, They'll stop attacking me. If the opportunity presents itself I'd love them to forget me. Sometimes I dream about Kuno eating one of the drugged dishes from Shampoo, and fall in love with her instead of me."
Nabiki thought over Ranma's plans. "None of that should hurt my income at all, except curing him of his fixations."
"The only way I can imagine it working, he'd be fixated on someone else. You'd still make as much money, but over someone else. I'm just worried he could maintain as many fixations at once he wants. I guess I should be glad he doesn't pursue Shampoo, Ukyou, Cologne and Kasumi as well. I wonder, in your professional opinion there'd be any way to link him with Shiratori? The irony would be beautiful. And Kodachi and Mikado deserve each other."
"I must reserve my professional opinion, but if I worked on people for pleasure rather than money, I'd consider that a wonderfully entertaining project, and possibly a work of art. Your increased deviousness makes you a more interesting conversationalist. I'm off to do homework."
"So far, it has been a pleasure to fight alongside you."
* * *
Instead of his usual morning's sparring with his father, he practiced katas, trying to achieve amaguriken speeds without sacrificing the precision he achieved at lower speeds. Hopefully he could use his boosted metabolism to improve his skills so that he'd retain some of the benefits if he gets a cure for the 'dead man's coin'.
Ranma asks Nodoka if she could keep an eye on the panda to make sure it doesn't leave. "He'll probably spend the day playing shoji or go with Mr. Tendo, but as fond as he is of Ranko, I wouldn't put it past him to try to visit some of our old training grounds. Tracking him down would be a real pain." Ranma casually glares at the big panda while he finishes (ostensibly to Nodoka, but with veiled message for his father, "It's better for his health if he stays here. He might not realize it, but if he left now, he'd likely shorten his own life."
Nodoka asks "How did that panda learn to play go? He and Soun play without a handicap. Such training is quite impressive."
While Soun and panda sweat over this question, Ranma deflects this easily. "Aww, Soun and Genma play all the time, and when Genma can't be found, the panda plays. The panda's watched every game Soun and Genma play. Soun is responsible for all of the practice the panda gets, but Genma is responsible for all of the panda's playing ability. Go is a trivial game to learn after all, and that panda isn't just a dumb animal."
Soun adds to Ranma's explanation, "No one ever masters go anyway, there's always new levels of complexity to discover. Playing at any level is an exercise of the intellect of each player. There is no winning strategy to learn. The play of the game itself is what's important."
* * *
As Ranma and Akane run to school, Akane asks Ranma "When are you going to tell your mother about everything else? You've been talking around a lot of subjects, but you said you'd tell her everything."
Well, I think the first thing would be to tell her about all of this fiancee mess. She won't be able to follow what's going on at all until that's explained fully. I don't care when she discovers Shampoo and Mousse's curses, but whenever that happens, we'll have to tell her about my problem with cats. I don't want to drag you into this, but I'll need your help if I slip into cat mode again. You or Kasumi might have to explain some of it if things don't go smoothly. Then we tell her about my Jusenkyou curse, but we show her it's cured now. Then the hard part; I tell my mother I've been deceiving her as Ranko. If I survive it, we tell her about the coin keeping me male. Finally we tell her about the coin killing me in a year. I wanna stretch this out, there's no way anyone could take in all this at once. I think even Kasumi might be shocked beyond just saying `Oh, my' if she learned all of this at once, and she's easily the most unflapable person I ever met."
"Nabiki is pretty hard to shake up too, don't you think?"
"No, Nabiki is as easy to surprise as most people, she just never lets anyone see it. She has a better pokerface than the Gambling King. Kasumi is another case entirely. Godzilla could rampage through our back yard wearing a pink tutu and a sailor's cap, and Kasumi's first thought would be that she better re-sweep up the leaves."
Akane giggles briefly over the imagery "Yeah, I can see that. She'd probably say `Ranma, is this another of your friends over to visit?'"
"If he understood even moderate Japanese, he'd probably be invited for a cup of tea. Sometimes I think of her as my perfect opposite."
"What do you mean by that?"
"No need to get defensive, it isn't an insult. No one would ever insult Kasumi. No one would attack her, she never fights. The strongest attack she can make sounds like a mild rebuke, but it can hit you harder than Ryouga's shishi houkoudan. I have to fight half of Nerima to do what I think is right, she quietly requests things, and everything works out. Think about everyone she invited last Christmas to that party. If you or pop sent out the invitations, many of them wouldn't have shown up. If I did it, we'd probably would have had to rebuild the dojo from scratch after the fight. You know I wouldn't want to destroy the dojo, but you also know it probably would be wrecked. Kasumi shared a kitchen with Shampoo, Ukyou, and Kodachi. Anyone else would need to be a martial artist to escape unscathed, even then, you or I would have risked some collateral damage from random drugs and flying water, and what happens? Kodachi drugs herself, and sleeps the guilt-free sleep of the non compos mentis. Kasumi has mastered the perfect defense. Lets be honest, I've seen pictures of your mother occasionally, and Kasumi is becoming a beautiful woman like she was, right?"
"Yes?" Akane agreed, but had no idea where this conversation was going now.
"Have you EVER seen Happosai glomp onto her? He attacks me regularly, and I'm a guy. He's put a bra on Cologne. He may be a hentai deviant mutant, but even HE isn't perverse enough to violate Kasumi."
By this point, they've finally reached the school's gates so, of course, they are intercepted by Tatewaki Kuno.
"Ranma Saotome, what have you done with the pig-tailed girl?" Kuno charged at Ranma, bokken drawn for attack
"Hold, and I'll tell you."
Once he digests the fact that Ranma was going to answer his questions, he stops his headlong charge at Ranma. "For the information I need, I'll withhold the thrashing you so richly deserve. Speak! Speak at once, I say!"
"She has gone, for reasons of her own, having something to do with family honor. She left unexpectedly, but of her own choice. I think her trip will be more difficult than she thought when leaving. She explicitly said she wanted no one else to know of her destination. I think she'll return here as soon as she can, but she didn't know how long it would take."
"Speak, cur. Tell me where she is!"
Ranma appears to have snapped in anger. "I know you think so little of me, but to find out where she is would be insulting her. Think of your honor and hers! Have you never had a problem within your family that you didn't want others to know? As a samurai, you must place her honor in high regard. Anything you find out about this trip will cheapen that. You could gladly ask Nabiki where she went, if you hold her wishes in such contempt. Nabiki would probably give you all the information you are willing to pay for. So if you want to hear more than you should, I suggest you ask Nabiki in private, instead of trying to shame your goddess in public!"
Kuno was uncharacteristically silent. No one else said a word, as everyone wondered over what Kuno's reaction would be. Finally, he gives Ranma a brief nod. "Thank you Saotome, for the information you have given me. I spoke in haste, and you have delayed me until I was able to act rationally. I do not trust you, and will verify her departure myself, but I'll honor her request, and give her the privacy to set matters right within her own family. Family matters are, after all, rather tricky. If you communicate with her before I do, tell her my heart goes with her, I would like to help, and that I will not pry." and with that, Kuno strode away.
Akane looks at Ranma, and asks him "Why did you tell him that? And when did you think THAT up?"
"Yesterday, during class. He never believes the whole truth about my curse. He'd never give me a moment's peace if I lied. The only way to get any peace from him, is to tell the truth, and make him desire not to pursue the pig-tailed girl. I couldn't think up anything to get him to go away for good, but this might keep him until he actually sees her again."
"Do you think you could get him to leave ME alone too?" Akane hoped.
"If I had a plan for that, I'd have gotten him to give up on the pig-tailed girl for good. If I think of one, I'll try it. You would have better luck amassing a small fortune, and bribing Nabiki to do it. When it comes to talking around Kuno, she's Ben better than me, for far longer than me."
"I'll hold off on that. I've no desire to pay to see the irresistible force of my sister's intelligence clash with the immovable force of Kuno's love-sick stupidity."
* * *
Hours later, during lunch period, Kuno approached Nabiki in private. "Nabiki Tendo, I would speak with you on a matter of extreme delicacy, on a matter surrounding the pig-tailed girl. I find myself morally constrained not to learn anything about her whereabouts, beyond the absolute minimum to test the veracity of what I learned from Ranma this morning. Will you consent to answering some yes-or-no questions about my pig-tailed goddess?"
Nabiki thought for a moment. Something was going on that she wasn't watching for. Kuno's requests rarely caught her by surprise, except of course when she occasionally underestimated his stupidity or inanity. "1000 yen a question."
Kuno quietly handed Nabiki 2000 yen. Nabiki's interest peaked a bit. He didn't argue over the amount, Nabiki could have acquired a bit more.
Kuno began his question. "Earlier this morning, Ranma Saotome said that my beloved pig-tailed girl desired that I do not know were she is right now. Is this true?"
A smile came upon Nabiki's lips. "Yes, it is true."
"I had not expected the cur Ranma to have given me true information, but I know you would never lie about any answer duly paid for. I must ask you one more question, and I pray you restrict yourself to only one word, lest my mighty intellect might later infer additional information from some other inconsequential verbiage. Oh, how I am playing a risky game with fate, not unlike trying to dust the lid of Pandora's box. Please tell me Nabiki, is the absence of the pig-tailed goddess from my worshipful view due to a matter which pertains to her families honor? Please say you, yes or no."
"Yes."
"Blast this cruel fate which separates such love. But I shall rise above it. I go now to meditate on the proper conduct fitting for her absence." And with that, he strides away.
Nabiki thought, well 2000 yen, but I should have been able to get more. I've been getting a bit lax regarding Kuno and Ranma. I'll be more careful over the next few days.
* * *
Ranma spent most of the morning fidgeting in his chair, suffering under the burden of a boring lecture, made even more painful by Ranma's current inability to fall asleep due to his high energy. While most of the class has the dazed expression of a captive audience, Ranma is spinning pens around his fingers with a speed and intensity that make the pens look like they might be usable as a missile.
As soon as class ends for lunch, Ukyou approaches Akane's desk, and asks her what has got into Ranma. "Why is he bouncing off the walls like that?
Akane smiles for a moment "So many things have happened since school yesterday, I'm not sure where to begin. After I got home, he called me into the dojo to talk about seeing his mother. he talked on and on about taking advantage of being a man, and his possibly dying in a year. He said he'd either visit her, or invite her over. Then his father rushed in to take him on another training trip, because Nodoka was in the living room."
"What happened?"
"Ranma knocked Genma over and rushed to her. We got into an argument about our fathers, and revealed that Ranma has multiple fiancees in front of Nodoka. She's going to try to settle things once she gets a grasp of them all. Then after Ranma fought Mousse, Mousse stayed for dinner, and told Nodoka all about amazon customs, and Cologne's plots. Ranma seemed so lively and energetic all last night."
At this point Ranma joined their discussion. "Ucchan, my mom's visiting. We told her about the multiple fiancees. You ought to meet her. Do you think you should meet at the Tendos, or at your restaurant?"
"However she wants. For something as big as this, I'd close the store for the night."
"Ranma." Akane interrupts, "There's something I've been thinking about all morning during class. As long as I've known you, you've been against being forced to marry any of your fiancees. When you introduce your mother to everyone, isn't she going to take sides, and pressure you into marrying someone? You seem to be actively trying to get her involved. Why?"
Ukyou also, is interested in how Ranma will answer, so she and Akane wait while Ranma does something he has rarely done in the past. Ranma is thinking before he speaks. "I don't have a simple reason to give. Well, I could give you a simple answer, but it wouldn't be right. I think I'm doing it for several reasons, but some of them seem contradictory. Besides, any time the three of us talk seriously about marriage, one of you pounds me, so maybe we should discuss this when we aren't in school; there are too many people around."
Akane misunderstands. "None of us hurt bystanders when we fight!"
Ranma corrects "I didn't mean them! I meant too many people who'd love to join in a fight. Kuno's in another classroom. Hinako-sensei is around here somewhere. Rumor has it that Kuno-kouchou isn't in Hawaii, so he's probably around. and there are groups of girls with access to brooms who love to beat up `enemies of women'. The only places worse to discuss this would be the Nekohanten, or surrounded by our three parents. I love martial arts, but I'm not in the mood for a brawl right now." At this point, a dull boom is heard "Che, I did just say I didn't want a fight, right?" Ranma then announces in a voice loud enough for the entire room "I'm gonna talk to Kuno now." And with that, he runs from the room as a second muffled boom occurs, but louder than the first.
"He wants to talk with Kuno?" a third, louder muffled boom is heard.
For the fourth boom, part of the wall breaks, and Shampoo stands there in the dissipating dust holding a delivery box. "Nihao, where's Ranma"
"He went to talk to Kuno." some helpful student offers.
"Then I will find Kuno!" and Shampoo leaves the classroom.
A few seconds later, the classroom door opens and Ranma slips in and grabs his bag. "That seems to have worked. I'm going to disappear for a while, and eat Kasumi's lunch in peace. I'll be back for class."
Ukyou and Akane stare until Ukyou comments "Ranma avoiding a fight, and succeeding? Have you ever seen him manage that before?"
"That is new. He did say something this morning about Kasumi mastering the perfect defense."
"I've never seen your sister fight anyone before."
"That's what he meant. She never gets into a fight, so no blows hit her."
"Well Cologne and Tofu told him to avoid fights, but I never thought he'd be able to actually do it."
* * *
After School, Ranma left for Dr. Tofu's clinic, while Akane went home. Nodoka asked Akane if they could talk in private, and led her up to the guest room Nodoka was using. she had a pot of tea ready, and the two of them sat down to enjoy a mug together as they began to talk.
"Akane, why didn't you tell me about Ranma's other girlfriends before?"
"I'm not sure. I don't really talk much about Ranma with anyone. Nabiki is always teasing me about him. Kasumi takes everything in stride, I can't really discuss this with her. Daddy is hopeless, he keeps trying to force us married; he can't listen to anything about marriage with out flying into rage or tears. My friends either tell me I should dump him for being insensitive or rude, or they tell me he's cute. The whole school is betting on my relationship with Ranma, with Nabiki running the betting pool. Everyone else either wants to marry him, or kill him. The only one I talk about it is my pet, P-chan."
"When Ranma first came here, I had a crush on someone else. I hated all the boys in school, and fought with thirty of them every morning before school. Daddy decided we had to marry, and kept pushing us and begging us. When the other girls showed up he started to become desperate. He and Genma keep coming up with plans to try to get us married, or to kiss in public, and everything they try leads to a brawl as one of his girlfriends or enemies shows up. Sometimes it seems that the only thing we do agree on is that we don't want to marry or kiss in public. Ranma doesn't seem to want to do that with anyone. The other girls would agree in a minute."
"Have you ever kissed in private?"
"No. A couple of times I thought we were going to, but something always happened. Once he kissed me on the cheek in front of the whole school, but he wasn't sane at the time, and he never remembered it."
"What do you mean he wasn't sane? Is something wrong with him?"
"So many things have happened to him. If something weird can happen, It will happen to Ranma sooner or later. He always seems to fight off his problems, but new ones seem to keep happening. He already told me he intends to explain the story surrounding the kiss pretty soon. He even asked me this morning to explain it to you if he can't. So I feel I should wait until he brings this one up."
"You and Ranma have been answering my questions, but I still feel that there is a lot neither of you are telling me."
"There is Saotome-san. But Ranma told me he plans to tell you all of it. He just doesn't want to tell you all at once. I think I agree with him on this. He said no one could take this all at once."
"You had me relieved until that last sentence. I'll try to respect his wishes, and let him tell me in his own time."
* * *
Ranma returns home, and over dinner both families discuss the best way for Nodoka to meet the other girls. At first Soun is against the idea, but as soon as he learns that she'll meet them eventually, he joins into the discussion as a willing participant.
Nodoka asks "Where should I meet them?"
Ranma answers "If Mr. Tendo agrees, I'd like you to meet them here, during this visit." as Mr. Tendo is about to violently object, Ranma adds "My mother would otherwise have to visit them all at their homes. I trust Ukyou and even Shampoo, but I don't trust Kodachi or Cologne not to take advantage of the situation. Mr. Tendo, do you want to risk them trying to force me into a marriage?"
At this, Soun rethinks his position, and agrees to everything Ranma suggests. Finally it is agreed that Ranma will contact the girls to arrange a separate visit with each of them. They also decide one guest a day would be plenty, and that the visit should just be between Nodoka, Ranma and the girl. Since it is now Friday, they decide to try to schedule one each for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.
After dinner, Ranma leaves to set everything up.
* * *
The dinner crowd is still eating as Ranma enters Ucchan's restaurant. "Ucchan. If you're free, could you come over Monday after school to meet my mother? It will just be a quiet discussion with you, me, and her."
"Sure Ranchan. How do you plan to keep it from getting interrupted?"
"Well, Akane can prevent Tsubasa from entering. All the other girls will have their meeting cancelled if they interfere, and all of the other boys want this meeting to go well. I came here to make sure Monday was OK for you before I set up the other two meetings. I'm off to the Nekohanten, see ya."
* * *
The Nekohanten was also busy.
"Airen! Where were you during lunch today?"
"Hi, Shampoo. I was all over the place. I'm sorry you couldn't find me. My mother is in town, and she'd like to meet you. Could you come over to the Tendo house Tuesday afternoon?"
"Aiah! Glad to come!"
"Son-in-law, we'd be honored."
"Ahh, this was intended as a private meeting with Shampoo and my mother. But if you'd like to change it, I'm sure she'd be willing to invite you and Mousse. She wanted to meet each of the girls who want to marry me, since she already knows Akane. She wants to try to understand how I got so many persistent suitors. If things go badly, there's a chance I may have to commit seppuku, so I hope this can go as smoothly as possible."
"Very well. Shampoo will go alone. I'll keep Mousse from interfering. How do you plan to keep the others from interfering?"
"Akane and Ukyou would both look bad in my mothers eyes if they interfered. Kodachi isn't so reasonable, but her introduction is on Wednesday, so my mother and I will cancel her invitation should she interfere. I want to make this clear, this is a meeting to talk and for her to get to know Shampoo, not an omiai. I'm not about to marry anyone while I still have the `dead mans coin'. Also I haven't told her about the coin or my curse yet. I'm going to, but not yet, so please keep from mentioning it to them. When I do, I'll have to prove to her that magic exists, and I don't want to reveal my father's curse at that time. would one of you or Mousse be willing to prove to her that magic works?"
"When the time comes, son-in-law, we'd be delighted. Please return an invitation to your mother. We'd like her to try Shampoo's cooking. You're also invited, of course, but try to keep a mob from showing up, and staging a brawl."
"That would be nice. I expect my mother will be around more than she has of late. When I finally tell her about the coin, I'm sure she'll want to speak to you about it. May I use your phone? I have to invite Kodachi, and I don't want to see her in person."
* * *
beep-beep, beep-beep, click "Moshi moshi, The great house of Kuno. to whom do you wish to speak?"
"This is Ranma. I'm calling for Kodachi."
"You do? I'll go get her."
"Ranma-sama, what bliss to hear from you."
"Kodachi, my mother's visiting, and she wants to meet you. It would be a private meeting with her and I at the Tendo's on Wednesday afternoon after school."
"I'll gladly come. Thank you for inviting me."
"There are three things though. This is supposed to be a quiet, informal meeting. Please don't bring any flowers, or gymnastics tools, or animals. My mother and I will provide any defense necessary."
"Oh, that removes half the fun. I'll see you two on Wednesday then."
* * *
Ranma returned home, and announced his success in arranging the upcoming meetings. "I may have even convinced Kodachi to show up without an arsenal and a poison dispensary. Cologne and Mousse will keep each other from interfering. If Akane would watch for Ryouga, and Tatewaki, we might be able to hold all three meetings without an attack. Akane, do you mind standing guard for these meetings? You are one of the few people who can reason with Ryouga if he shows up, and everyone knows you could handle Kuno. Even if you no longer defeat him daily, he's never bested you yet."
"Sure, I guess. as long as I don't have to deal with Kodachi. Do you really think they'll try to interfere?"
"Not intentionally, but both of them have a tendency to forget everything but their desire to kill me. Luckily both will be distracted by you talking to them, and then you can either trash Kuno, or reason with Ryouga."
"What about Tsubasa and Mousse?"
"Tsubasa could be defeated by Nabiki. You can handle him as easily as Cologne can Mousse. Cologne will keep Mousse busy on Tuesday. Besides, Mousse always attacks for some reason. The only reason he'd attack on Ukyou's or Kodachi's night would be if he had to listen to Cologne plotting something. At this point, he's more of an early warning system. I'm going out to the dojo to train."
* * *
Nabiki entered the dojo to talk to Ranma. "Congratulations Ranma, I heard about your speech to Kuno this morning. I'm not sure I can remember anyone else directing him so effectively."
"Thank you! Before I came here, I would have never even been able to consider it. I spent my whole life learning to fight, but no matter how often I beat up Kuno, he never improves. I realized yesterday that with me unable to change genders, he'd hound me daily. You are the only one I know who actually got him to think something else, so I tried to see how you did it. I begin to see how elegant your handling of him is. I had to bludgeon him with his honor, you could have made him think it was his own idea."
"Flattery will get you nowhere. But thank you, anyway. You do realize that Kuno is my biggest source of income. Do you see your plans for Kuno to interfere with me?"
"I hadn't thought of that. There's some information I want from you, but I'm broke, and had nothing to offer you. I'll offer you a trade. I'll tell you everything I plan to tell Kuno, and everything I'd like to do, but haven't figured out how to do, if you'll tell me how Kuno's taking my story."
"You do know I could learn most of that myself."
"Of course, thats why I offered to tell you what I'd like to do. I don't want to step on your toes. But after even a temporary reprieve from Kuno's innuendo that I'm performing perversions with myself, I don't see how I can resist trying it in the future. I can't imagine how I'd find out your plans for Kuno, so I'll have to show you mine, or we might bump each other in the dark. I look at it like a three-way fight. Two strangers meet in a wood, to fight a third. They both have different reasons, and aren't on the same side. But they can fight him together if one of them tries to stay out of the others way. If you force me not to fight, we both waste energy on each other. If we both attack as we'd like, without me getting in your way, we can't help but do well. If we keep everything from each other, we might kick each other by mistake."
"I think I can live with that. Kuno came to me and asked me two yes-or-no questions. He was trying to verify your story without insulting your girl-side's wishes. With the questions he asked, I couldn't help but verify your story. He left to meditate on it. Then he got into a fight with Shampoo when she asked where you were, and he said his usual insulting things about you. He spent the afternoon in the nurses office. Who knows what spin he'll put on your story, but I think you got him to believe it all. Now, spill it."
"Sure. The biggest thing I want is for him to stop suggesting that I'm molesting my girl-side. He and his sister think we are pursuing each other. The idea turns my stomach. I'm gonna try to convince him that even though some people have said she's Akane's cousin, that we treat each other like family. He shouldn't find that too hard to believe eventually, since I act so similarly in my different forms. We fight the same, mostly. Comments about one of us bothers the other. He'd never believe she were my sister, but we treat each other as brother and sister. She's legally able to decide who she wants to date, but insulting one of us, angers the other. Hopefully this'll keep Kuno from attacking as often, or at least insulting my male form in my female form's face, if I ever have it again."
"If I could, I'd end his obsession with Akane and me. But I'd have an easier time getting him hooked on Martial Arts Gymnastics, and his sister into Kendo. While I'm at it, I'll wave my hands, and have Hinako-sensei zap Kuno-kouchou daily for hentai thoughts about cutting hair, and convince Happosai to become a pillar of community morality."
"I've sort of given up on convincing either Tatewaki or Kodachi about my curse. But if I can, They'll stop attacking me. If the opportunity presents itself I'd love them to forget me. Sometimes I dream about Kuno eating one of the drugged dishes from Shampoo, and fall in love with her instead of me."
Nabiki thought over Ranma's plans. "None of that should hurt my income at all, except curing him of his fixations."
"The only way I can imagine it working, he'd be fixated on someone else. You'd still make as much money, but over someone else. I'm just worried he could maintain as many fixations at once he wants. I guess I should be glad he doesn't pursue Shampoo, Ukyou, Cologne and Kasumi as well. I wonder, in your professional opinion there'd be any way to link him with Shiratori? The irony would be beautiful. And Kodachi and Mikado deserve each other."
"I must reserve my professional opinion, but if I worked on people for pleasure rather than money, I'd consider that a wonderfully entertaining project, and possibly a work of art. Your increased deviousness makes you a more interesting conversationalist. I'm off to do homework."
"So far, it has been a pleasure to fight alongside you."
* * *