Authors Note: If you are one of those fans who is hopelessly devoted to Newsies and think they could do no wrong do not, I repeat do not read this fiction. This is terrible, absolutely frighting. Also, don't read if you are: Weak of Heart Weak Of stomach Weak in General It is possibly more terrifying than my old math teacher, George Bush, and the guy who sits next to my in advisement COMBINED! In fact, I take back what I said above. No one, I repeat NO ONE should read this. It will scar you for life, the words will be forever burned into your brain. And you won't want them there. Turn back now, why there is still time. To top it all of this would never happen. I mean, not even in a musical, where it seems anything (including disappearing mustaches) is possible! It is less likely than Denton dating David! Yes, it's that bad.
The Newsies are sitting at Tibby's minding there own business when quit suddenly a random person pops in. They are dressed from head to toe in black, with no visible skin. Therefore, they are but a Mysterious Voice. This is the scene that soon unfolds.
MV: See Spot. See Spot Run. Run Spot! Run!
Spot: I ain't runnin.
MV: *Sadly* Oh...... *Then in sudden cheery tone* See Jack. See Jack Run. Run Jack! Run!
Jack: What are you? Crazy? I'm not listen to ya.
MV: See Les. See Les Run. Run Les! Run!
Les: *Cough* Run for a buck miss?
MV: OH! How adorable!
The Mysterious Voice, now obviously a girl, reaches in a purse that you never noticed before, and that would be hard considering it is light pink. She hands Les a dollar. The kid instantly takes off, and you get the feeling it's not cause she asked him to.
All: *Blink, blink*
Kid Blink: What? I didn't say anything.
All: *Blink, blink*
All: *Blink, blink*
Kid Blink: Hey, stop that!
All: *Blink, blink*
Kid Blink: Shut the hell up already!
All: Okay than.......
MV: See Skittery. See Skittery-
Skittery: I am not running for less than two dollars.
MV: Strip down to his pink long Johns.
All: What!?!?!
Spot: You wear PINK long Johns!
Skittery: So? You wear pink suspenders.
Spot: They're red damn it!
MV: Strip Skittery! Strip!
Spot: Yeah Skit, strip. Or are ya a chicken.
Skittery: I ain't no chicken! It's just that she's a lady and.....
Spot: Chicken.
Skittery: Fine! *Skittery strips down to those lovely pink long Johns.*
MV: Yeah! Okay, now.... Who haven't I done?
The Newsies actually part to reveal a very serious looking David. They also seemed to be pointing at the now worried looking David. If the Mysterious Voice had the ability to laugh evilly, she would at this time.
MV: See David.
David: Wait! There's Mush, and Itey, and-
MV: See David Kiss Jack.
All: *Stare at Jack and David who are standing next to each other. The two back away uncertainly.*
MV: Kiss Jack and David! Kiss!
David and Jack: No way! He's a guy! (A/N: No, REALLY. Wait, I'm serious. IS David a guy? He seems to be in a lot of Gay relationships and he NEVER does the pelvic thrust. Maybe he's hiding something.)
Racetrack: No way they be doing that. Huh guys?
Mush: *Thinking...* Bet they will.
All: *Look at Mush oddly*
Racetrack: Whole dollar says they won't!
Mush: You're on!
MV: *Pleading pathetically* Pretty Please? (A/N: Oh! The Alliterations! They're attacking!)
David and Jack: NO!
MV: How about for five dollars?
David: For the last time no! We won't do that sort of...... thing. Will we Jack?
Jack: *Seeming to brake out of a trance* What? No, of course not.
MV: *Smiling Slyly* Ten?
David: N-
Jack, in what can only be described as a flash of lighting, reaches over and kisses David, Much to the Mysterious Voices delight. After a second David kisses back. In less than a minute the kiss is over and both boys are holding crisp, ten dollar bills.
All: *Blink, blink*
Kid Blink: Hey! I wasn't the one making out with a guy!
All: *Shock slowly going away* Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
MV: That's Three points for me.
Mush: And a dollar for me, no kissing involved.
Racetrack: Ah, shit!
MV: Oh, poor Racy...
All: *Chuckle*
Racetrack: Racy? What the hell is that?
MV: You have a cleaner mouth in the movie.
All: Movie? What's A movie?
MV: Now, Let's see Mush.
Mush: No! I'm not kissing!
MV: See Mush strip!
Mush: When Hell freezes over.
MV: Oh, come on.
Mush: I said no!
Racetrack: Don't do it. None of us, minus Jack and Davis, wanna see dat.
Jack: *Handling money like diamonds* Shut up Race.
MV: How bout just to your boxers?
Mush: What part of no don't you understand?
MV: For Five dollars?
Mush: *Is out of his boxers in 3.5 seconds flat*
MV: Oh my GOSH! *Squeals*
Spot: What da hell was dat?
MV: Sorry, teeny bopper moment.
Specs: What's a teeny bopper?
MV: Ah, a new Newsies shows his face. Very well, you shall be soon.
Specs: Wait I didn't mean-
MV: But first Racetrack!
What's next? What is the mysterious voice going to pay racetrack to do? Who the hell is the mysterious voice? Where are the Newsies learning on this bad languages? Find out, on the next episode of LOST IN SPACE!
Wait, my bad. I mean: SEE SPOT!
Note: I am a Racetrack fan, a Mush fan, an Itey fan (Who, by the way, I am convinced is Patrick. Don't ask.) and a hopeless David/Jack fan. I think Denton should die a pain filled death, same with Sarah. Why? Because they are both home wreckers. Trying to brake up Jack and Davy!
This serves as a warning, people will be hurt. But hey, I told ya not to read it.
Don't worry, I'm not like most. If you don't review, I will forgive you. If you flame, no problem there either. In fact, I will most likely think you sane.