Once again Ranma and Akane walked to school. Ranma is brooding, and forgoing his customary fence walking. Akane is watching him puzzled.
Finally Akane asked him, "What's got you so down? You've been glum all morning."
"I've been thinking about disappointing people. Did you know that when pop tried to teach me the cat-fist I was actually upset with myself that I couldn't do it the way he wanted? It took me a while to realize that it wasn't my fault that I developed my phobia. That it was the fault of the training technique. That was the first time I can remember seriously disappointing someone."
"You're worried about explaining your fear to your mother?"
"That's not what I'm talking about. All my life my father wanted me to be the best martial artist, and I wanted it too. It was easy to please him, I just did my best, and learned everything he taught me. But now I've got a dozen people who've pinned their hopes on my future actions. I'd like to make everyone happy, but they all want contradictory things. Some of the things that they want are just impossible, like me loving Kodachi, or me not going insane in a year. I've never really had to deal with this before."
"But these problems have surrounded you for months. Why are you worrying about it now?"
"I started thinking about it last night, when I told Ukyou that I wasn't likely to choose a wife only to hurt the others, and widow her in a year. In the past there was always a chance that I'd find a way out of these conflicting promises. But now I see how unlikely that is. I'm going to choose a future, and hurt a lot of people. And I don't know how to choose, or what to choose, or even if I have the right to choose."
"What kind of future do you want?"
"I really don't know. Most of my actions before I came to live here were to make my father proud. That lasted up until he hit me with that double blow of a Jusenkyou curse followed by announcing I was engaged to someone less than an hour before we got to your home. I assumed I'd eventually get married and pass on my training to my kids, but not for a long time yet. And I thought that I'd marry for love, not because of some old men want a comfortable retirement, or because my pop got hungry one day."
"That part I can understand. Just because I hated boys when you arrived, doesn't mean I didn't have dreams about being happily married. I heard about the engagement minutes before you arrived, and I was dead set against it. I would have objected stronger at that point, but both Kasumi and Nabiki were willing to accept it, I assumed one of them would have been chosen."
"Back then it seemed so simple. Convince Pop to change his mind about the engagement, and return to China to find a cure, either order would be fine. I was sure we had lost Shampoo by coming back to Japan. But Pop kept me here, and everyone from my past decided to drop by. And then the list of promises my dad made. And for every promise, comes a sparring partner, who feels the day isn't complete if they don't try to kill me. I don't mind the fighting, but I hate it when they interrupt things just because they've got to fight right now. I mean, besides Ryouga, none of them have an excuse for not fighting me at an agreed on time or place."
"Why do you constantly pick on Ryouga?"
"You don't think his constantly attacking me day and night is enough of a reason?"
"Of course not. Everyone does that around here."
"That's true. There's a lot about Ryouga I can't tell anyone. It'd be dishonorable. But I might be able to explain how I feel about him without explaining the details why. Let me think about it during class. I'll tell you what I've decided later
* * *
"Nabiki Tendo, my long separation from my pigtailed goddess drives me to skirt her displeasure. My heart is filled with the need to speak with her. Is there any way I might do so without violating her self-imposed sanctuary?"
"Sorry, Kuno-chan, I haven't seen her all week. I don't really know where she could be found. It's not a question of money, desire, or determination. I don't know any way you could see her until she returns."
"Ahh, how can I possibly last until I can express my feelings again to her."
"Well, for a small fee, I could probably get a letter to her. For 2,000 yen."
"How could you deliver a letter without knowing her location?"
"It's a simple process. If I told you, you wouldn't need me to act as a middleman. It also wont break her self imposed exile, but I doubt she can send back a reply."
"Tell me at once!"
"10,000 yen please."
"That's outrageous!"
"You have the money, I know. I haven't had any new pictures of her to sell to you for a while. You can always pay me 2,000 per message."
"Here's the 10,000. Tell me the method of delivery."
"Simple. Send the letter to Ranma to forward to her. He's keeping her abreast of the goings on around here."
"But how could I trust that base cur to deliver such a message accurately?"
"Well, either you could trust because I said it would work, or you could convince me to tell you some things about Ranma and the pigtailed girl that you don't know yet."
"Tell me at once!"
"10,000 yen please."
"This is torture."
"Is the great Kuno putting money before the importance of the pigtailed girl?"
"Here's 10,000."
"Thank you. Regardless of what you think of Ranma, when it comes to the pigtailed girl, he can't lie to her. Why if his hold on her was based on flimsy lies, you'd have broken her free by now. In this regard at least, Ranma is her prisoner. If Ranma gets your letter, the pigtailed girl will know it's contents as if she read them herself."
"It is painful doing business with you, yet you constantly find new things that remain hidden from others. It's such a pity."
"Kuno, you never change."
"True perfection can not improve."
"Have you considered electroshock?"
* * *
"Have you decided what you can tell me about Ryouga?"
"Yes, but I can't tell you anything he has done, especially if it is something you would object to."
"You sound more like you are protecting him, rather than explaining why you are picking on him."
"I probably wouldn't pick on him if I wasn't protecting him."
"Could you explain that without making my head spin?"
"OK. Ryouga actually believes in bushido. He wants to be an honorable man. He doesn't ignore honor when it's inconvenient, like my father, or deny his dishonorable actions like Kuno does. For these reasons, I have to try to respect his actions and decisions, and keep things I know about him private. If he does something embarrassing or stupid, I'd never spread it around school. But he's done a lot of things that bother me, and would bother others if they know; things only he and I know about. I can't stop him from doing them, I can't tell others about them. I'm stuck tacitly permitting things to continue. When I'm feeling philosophic, I can just chalk it up to his own learning experience. No one can stop you from making the mistakes you need in order to learn, or advance your soul from life to life. But most of the time it gets me really pissed at him. He's put me in a situation where there's nothing I can do."
"I can't believe he'd intentionally do something wrong."
"He doesn't. If he did, I could despise him, and be done with it. He gets trapped in situations, and lets embarrassment, anger, or dread keep him from doing the right thing. Let me see if I can explain, by analogy to a bad situation I got in. Imagine my curse was worse than it is. Imagine when I'm in my normal form I was completely invisible. Do you remember the day we met? Imagine I was invisible when you entered the bathroom. You saw the look of shock on my face, so you know that If I had a choice, I wouldn't have done that to you. But imagine that you didn't know I was there, and I couldn't leave without you realizing I was there. Imagine I spent the time during your bath facing the wall, but I'd have still seen more of you than you'd have liked. Imagine that I never told you about it for fear of being pounded for something I would never have done intentionally, and because of that, similar situations like that kept happening. It's a situation only a pervert would try to get into, but once it happens accidentally, you either hide it or be branded a pervert. Ryouga's situation is like that. Through accident, he's done things that'd upset others, and because he doesn't tell anyone, he winds up doing it again. Unfortunately, my punishment is to be the only one who knows what he's doing, and honor bound to keep it quiet. He's a good person trying to be good, but not very good at it."
"Why did you have to use such a weird analogy to explain Ryouga's actions?"
"Because Ryouga's situation is so unique. Anything more normal might have given you a hint of what he's done."
"I still don't see why that gets you angry at him."
"You're not seeing it from my perspective. look. Imagine you have two friends, a guy and a girl. The guy keeps seeing more of the girl than either of them would think is decent. You and the guy are the only two that know, and you realize the guy would rather not be in that situation in the first place. You are honor bound to keep quiet, so you wait for him to admit his problem to her so she can stop it. But he doesn't because he doesn't want to upset her, he doesn't want her to think he's a pervert. So you wind up watching him accidentally oggling your friend's poorly clothed body. Now how would you react? Eventually you'd get frustrated with both of them, and clobber him."
* * *
"Once again I find I must demean myself by dealing with you in order to get my message of love to my pigtailed girl. Oh, how the heavens must weep that two noble beings such as myself and my goddess, must resort to a cur as you to pass our messages."
"What makes you think I'll deliver letters to her for you?"
"Quoth Nabiki `Regardless of what you think of Ranma, when it comes to the pigtailed girl, he can't lie to her. If Ranma gets your letter, the pigtailed girl will know it's contents as if she read them herself.'"
"As usual, her information's accurate. What did she charge for this?"
"20,000 yen"
"Her information is accurate, but you haven't thought this through. I don't mislead her, but I'd rather tear up your letter, than read it and pass the contents to her."
"You would dare interfere with my communication?"
"Of course, I dare! You consistently demean me and then ask for favors! I'm no servant of yours. You attack me on the day we met because my father and Akane's father insist I stay at their house! You brand me an enemy without waiting for explanation. You fail to respect my skills. And through poorly thought out words you denigrate the skill of those you claim to love."
"I cannot allow those last two statements to proceed unchallenged. You continue to elude defeat at my hands only through trickery, and I'd never slight my beloved's skills."
"Regardless of what you think of our fights, I am the only one in Furinkan to defeat Akane in combat."
"You have surely deceived her."
"Do you think so little of her skill in martial arts to think she'd be so deceived? She admits that I'm a better fighter! She doesn't like to, no competent martial artist would. But she doesn't deny it. And it is no slight on her that she loses. She always tries her best, and despite my teasing her, she consistently improves. I've been training longer and harder than her for most of my life. No honor is ever lost losing to a superior opponent if you've tried your best. You can't denigrate my skill without slighting Akane. And my skill matches your goddess's. When you first saw her, she hadn't developed her speed. But now her speed compensates for her reduced upper body strength. Your darlings and I all fight in the same school. Our skills are directly comparable. If you insult my skill, you insult them."
"Then I will not insult your skill, but your morals instead. Your hold on the pigtailed goddess is unholy, and I will free her!"
"After all of this time, you should understand the nature of our link. You would have figured it out long ago if you didn't think of her as just a woman."
"She isn't just a woman, she's a goddess on earth!"
"She's a warrior first and foremost. From China we've fought our way back to Japan, and we've protected each other ever since. You cannot kill one of us without killing us both. We're closer than lovers. I could no easier hurt her, than hurt myself. The idea of a romantic liaison between us is unthinkable. I don't see how you could hope to win her regard by spitting on her other half. Have you ever seen me do anything romantic to her? Have I ever slighted her? Of course she treats you as I would. We are one mind and body, and all your attempts to free her merely confirm to her my opinion of you."
"Can this be true? Have I mistaken the pure love of comrades in arms for the depraved lust of an undisciplined youth? It is like a veil being drawn from my eyes! This explains everything! The way you drop into each other's fights! The reason she reacted oddly to my insults of you. Ranma, I still don't trust you, but this news of yours has all the earmarks of truth. I must think on this some more. We will talk on this again later!"
* * *
School finally ended, and Ranma headed off for his checkups, and to pick up Shampoo for here introduction to his mother. Cologne volunteered Mousse's help. "I told Mousse he would demonstrate his curse for your mother, as the side effects of Shampoo's transformation are unpredictable. I was surprised at how readily he agreed. If this is the result of your agreed upon outing with Mousse and Shampoo, then I'm glad. If you and Mousse are plotting something, I'll be severely disappointed."
"I have said one thing to Mousse that you might dislike. I told him I was honorbound to marry three women, Akane, Ukyou, and Shampoo. My mother will inevitably want this resolved before my death, which means this terrible period of confusion has an end in sight, and there's only a 1 in three chance that I'll be paired with Shampoo. That's the depth of my plotting with Mousse. I've made no promises to him about Shampoo; I just pointed out that this craziness would inevitably end."
"That explains his willingness to expedite matters. Regardless of what you think of my treatment of Mousse, I do realize that the uncertainty of this situation is as hard on him as it is on Shampoo."
"As it is on me. Though I've tried to accept it."
* * *
Ranma, Mousse and Shampoo walked to the dojo. Without the usual dialogue of glompings and death threats, no one knew how to start a conversation. Finally Ranma breaks the awkwardness asking "So where and when do you want to go for our outing?"
"I hadn't thought about it."
"Me neither."
"How about taking a train into the countryside? We can enjoy the quiet and the scenery, and if we get bored, we can always spar. We can go Saturday after I get out of class, and if it's raining, we can go on Sunday instead."
"What about other people interfering?"
"Just tell everyone we're going to the same amusement park. That's probably what they are expecting anyway. If they have nothing better to do than ruin our fun, we'll send them in the wrong direction."
* * *
"Mom, before I introduce Shampoo to you, Mousse has agreed to help demonstrate something you have to know. I've run into a couple of things that can only be explained as magic. I've had to live with this, and you wont be able to understand the full fiancee situation without believing it yourself. Mousse has offered to help."
"Is he going to demonstrate some martial arts move that normal humans couldn't match? That'd hardly been convincing. I've seen many martial arts moves that boggle the eyes, but are just the result of skill and training."
"No, Mousse will demonstrate his Jusenkyou curse. He fell into a spring in China that turned him into a thermal aquamorph." Mousse removes his kimono to reveal he's wearing a t-shirt and shorts. "Mousse turns into a duck when hit by cold water." With that Mousse up-ends a glass of cold water, and turns into a bespectacled duck. "Hot water turns him back."
"That's impossible. Isn't it?"
* * *
"Mom, have you recovered from the shock yet?"
"I think it'll take a while for me to fully adjust. Why don't you go ahead and introduce tonight's guest?"
"Mother, I'd like to present to you the most accomplished of the tribe of Chinese amazons of her generation, and heir apparent for its leadership, Shampoo. Through ignorance of their customs, and after alot of confusion I have unintentionally proved my right to marry her. I have also compromised her honor by defeating her in public in a martial arts contest. For her to regain her honor we must marry. Also, at present there is some question as to whether I have any say in whether or not we marry, as I'm only a man, In addition, over time she has become a friend."
"I'm pleased to meet any friend of my son. His introduction has raised more questions than it has answered. Please, tell me about yourself."
"I've devoted myself to becoming the best fighter in the village. Unfortunately We aren't allowed to marry outsider males unless they can best us in combat. I was the best I ever saw under the age of 25. ... "
* * *
"So I tracked Ranma here. At that point I still wanted to defeat him. When here, I realized I found someone I could marry. But Ranma tricked me to protect Akane. He convinced me he didn't qualify for my laws to let us marry. I tried to attack, but I couldn't. I cared for him. so I went back home in disgrace."
"But elders revealed Ranma's trick, and ruled us married, and sent me to bring husband home. But at this time I got a Jusenkyou curse. ..."
* * *
"Shampoo, I'm still having trouble believing in these curses. Would you be willing to demonstrate?"
"OK, but ..."
"I better wait outside. She falls out of her clothes when she transforms. Please call me when she's redressed."
* * *
"Shampoo, would you mind explaining in your own words why your great-grandmother believes your tribal laws take precedence over Ranma's arranged marriages?"
"Our laws have allowed us to remain strong. To protect our culture for far longer than your race's history. While Japan was protected from the mainland by sea, We've faced Mongols, Power-hungry Emperors, Lascivious Warlords, and throughout this we've maintained our culture, and our respect for our laws. Many of the items of your culture of which you are proud can trace their roots to China, if not the Amazons. We aren't as strong as we have been in the past, but we are the proud descendants of a culture spanning three thousand years intact and undefeated. Compared to our laws, all others are but recent agreements, unlikely to last another thousand years. Ranma came to our village, and is subject to our laws. He then fled, for reasons we didn't understand at the time, so we were sent to bring him back for our laws to be carried out. If we wanted to, we could ask the Chinese ambassador to request him to be extradicted, but that would be pointless. Our village doesn't want him as a prisoner. I don't want him as my prisoner, I want him as my husband. When I chased him, I wanted to kill him, but now I love him. I will fight for him until they kill me, and if they don't kill me honorably, there will be war between my village and my murderer's clan, and that clan will cease to exist."
"I understand that you want Ranma to come of his own free will, why do you think you'd be the best wife for Ranma?"
"I spent my life training. I am the best fighter of a tribe of fighters, and the heir to a collection of martial arts secrets larger than any collection in Japan. Two of Ranma's three most powerful attacks he learned from great-grandmother. Among us he will be able to realize his true potential, surpassing even the dragon's son Herb. I love him, and don't abuse him like Akane. I am the strongest, and most beautiful. I have even learned Japanese just to talk with him. If his father bothered learning the language before charging through our country like a wounded ox, Ranma's life would have been much easier. Many people have tried to catch me, only Ranma has succeeded. After so many have failed to win my love, it's absurd if Ranma forsakes me."
"Ranma is blessed to have a girl such as you interested in him. Were it not for all of the commitments that bind him, this would be a happy occasion. None-the-less, I am pleased to meet you. Please tell me about your experiences in Nerima."
"Great-grandmother and I opened a restaurant named after my cursed form. We figured that after martial arts, Ranma and Genma's biggest passion was food. Of course we didn't know he had earlier sold Ranma for an okonomiyaki yatai then. ..."
* * *
Over dinner Kuno laments "Oh, we must surely have been cursed by the gods, for I have learned today that our assumptions of the bond between Ranma and my pigtailed goddess were in error; and that our efforts to free them were misdirected, and doomed to failure. How could I have missed the signs of a pure love of surpassing innocence."
"Speak plainly, oniichan, what do you know of the bond between those two that I do not?"
"They experience a love, the type of which can never receive consummation, and which, as yet neither of us have ever had the blessing to experience. Such a love that all our attempts to drive them apart merely reflected poorly upon us, causing our love borne entreaties to mock us, and drive our desired away."
"You're speaking in riddles, oniichan."
"Why, thank you."
"That was not a compliment! What type of love binds those two?"
"It is the love of a brother in arms. They are closer than siblings, yet without the passions of a romantic love. To hurt or insult one, is a blow to the other. Their opposition to our suits springs merely from our behavior against their protector. They fought their way through China to Japan, and trust each other implicitly. When we were fighting for their release, we should have been trying to develop a relation of trust and respect."
"I? Respect that roach-girl? Never."
"Then you'll never truely have Ranma, for they value each other's opinions as their own. When you have completely won him, then my pigtailed goddess will automatically be your friend."
"Can this be true? Did that roach fight me merely for her school's honor, and to support Akane? I alienated her because I thought she wanted Ranma for herself, when she only wanted a part of him that I never wanted? Ranma has never claimed her as a fiancee like all of the other hussies that surround him, trying to bind him by family honor. I must have this confirmed by Ranma himself."
* * *
Nabiki entered the dojo to talk to Ranma. "OK, what happened. Kuno was acting weird all afternoon after he left to give you a letter. What happened?"
"I actually managed to convince him, I think, that I don't lust after my other half. We are now comrades in arms. The pigtailed girl avoids him because he constantly insults me. We tell each other everything because we're closer than brother and sister, but completely devoid of lascivious intent. It explains everything about us, besides the fact I changed from one to the other when soaked. If I can reinforce this, he'll maintain whatever obsessions he wants, but hopefully treat me with some respect. It'll cut down on the number of times I have to knock him out."
"That makes sense. No one is stupid enough to bet on a Kuno fight, so dropping those fights wont decrease my betting pool. It might also reduce damages around here. This also might make him act in a new manner. He's been pretty repetitive for the last couple months. Any change would be welcome. I'll reinforce your ideas on him, maybe this'll stick in his mind. You can never tell what he will internalize mentally."
* * *
Ranma is performing his kata when a wind of black rose petals flies in. "Uh, hello Kodachi. It'd be a bad time to paralyze me or drug me. If my mother caught us together that way, she'd get a bad first impression before meeting you tomorrow."
"I'm sorry, but I didn't come here to indulge in pleasant diversions. My brother told me that you and that girl who sometimes bears your name are only comrades in arms. Is this true?"
"Yes. We don't have, and never did have any romantic interest in each other. Her name is Ranko Tendo, Akane's cousin, and my mother is rather protective of her."
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"You never stopped to listen. Didn't you find it odd that none of my fiancees dislike her? Out of everyone interested in me, you're the only one to attack her? That is besides Akane, She attacks everyone other than her sisters."
"I'm going to have to think about this. See you tomorrow."
* * *
Finally Akane asked him, "What's got you so down? You've been glum all morning."
"I've been thinking about disappointing people. Did you know that when pop tried to teach me the cat-fist I was actually upset with myself that I couldn't do it the way he wanted? It took me a while to realize that it wasn't my fault that I developed my phobia. That it was the fault of the training technique. That was the first time I can remember seriously disappointing someone."
"You're worried about explaining your fear to your mother?"
"That's not what I'm talking about. All my life my father wanted me to be the best martial artist, and I wanted it too. It was easy to please him, I just did my best, and learned everything he taught me. But now I've got a dozen people who've pinned their hopes on my future actions. I'd like to make everyone happy, but they all want contradictory things. Some of the things that they want are just impossible, like me loving Kodachi, or me not going insane in a year. I've never really had to deal with this before."
"But these problems have surrounded you for months. Why are you worrying about it now?"
"I started thinking about it last night, when I told Ukyou that I wasn't likely to choose a wife only to hurt the others, and widow her in a year. In the past there was always a chance that I'd find a way out of these conflicting promises. But now I see how unlikely that is. I'm going to choose a future, and hurt a lot of people. And I don't know how to choose, or what to choose, or even if I have the right to choose."
"What kind of future do you want?"
"I really don't know. Most of my actions before I came to live here were to make my father proud. That lasted up until he hit me with that double blow of a Jusenkyou curse followed by announcing I was engaged to someone less than an hour before we got to your home. I assumed I'd eventually get married and pass on my training to my kids, but not for a long time yet. And I thought that I'd marry for love, not because of some old men want a comfortable retirement, or because my pop got hungry one day."
"That part I can understand. Just because I hated boys when you arrived, doesn't mean I didn't have dreams about being happily married. I heard about the engagement minutes before you arrived, and I was dead set against it. I would have objected stronger at that point, but both Kasumi and Nabiki were willing to accept it, I assumed one of them would have been chosen."
"Back then it seemed so simple. Convince Pop to change his mind about the engagement, and return to China to find a cure, either order would be fine. I was sure we had lost Shampoo by coming back to Japan. But Pop kept me here, and everyone from my past decided to drop by. And then the list of promises my dad made. And for every promise, comes a sparring partner, who feels the day isn't complete if they don't try to kill me. I don't mind the fighting, but I hate it when they interrupt things just because they've got to fight right now. I mean, besides Ryouga, none of them have an excuse for not fighting me at an agreed on time or place."
"Why do you constantly pick on Ryouga?"
"You don't think his constantly attacking me day and night is enough of a reason?"
"Of course not. Everyone does that around here."
"That's true. There's a lot about Ryouga I can't tell anyone. It'd be dishonorable. But I might be able to explain how I feel about him without explaining the details why. Let me think about it during class. I'll tell you what I've decided later
* * *
"Nabiki Tendo, my long separation from my pigtailed goddess drives me to skirt her displeasure. My heart is filled with the need to speak with her. Is there any way I might do so without violating her self-imposed sanctuary?"
"Sorry, Kuno-chan, I haven't seen her all week. I don't really know where she could be found. It's not a question of money, desire, or determination. I don't know any way you could see her until she returns."
"Ahh, how can I possibly last until I can express my feelings again to her."
"Well, for a small fee, I could probably get a letter to her. For 2,000 yen."
"How could you deliver a letter without knowing her location?"
"It's a simple process. If I told you, you wouldn't need me to act as a middleman. It also wont break her self imposed exile, but I doubt she can send back a reply."
"Tell me at once!"
"10,000 yen please."
"That's outrageous!"
"You have the money, I know. I haven't had any new pictures of her to sell to you for a while. You can always pay me 2,000 per message."
"Here's the 10,000. Tell me the method of delivery."
"Simple. Send the letter to Ranma to forward to her. He's keeping her abreast of the goings on around here."
"But how could I trust that base cur to deliver such a message accurately?"
"Well, either you could trust because I said it would work, or you could convince me to tell you some things about Ranma and the pigtailed girl that you don't know yet."
"Tell me at once!"
"10,000 yen please."
"This is torture."
"Is the great Kuno putting money before the importance of the pigtailed girl?"
"Here's 10,000."
"Thank you. Regardless of what you think of Ranma, when it comes to the pigtailed girl, he can't lie to her. Why if his hold on her was based on flimsy lies, you'd have broken her free by now. In this regard at least, Ranma is her prisoner. If Ranma gets your letter, the pigtailed girl will know it's contents as if she read them herself."
"It is painful doing business with you, yet you constantly find new things that remain hidden from others. It's such a pity."
"Kuno, you never change."
"True perfection can not improve."
"Have you considered electroshock?"
* * *
"Have you decided what you can tell me about Ryouga?"
"Yes, but I can't tell you anything he has done, especially if it is something you would object to."
"You sound more like you are protecting him, rather than explaining why you are picking on him."
"I probably wouldn't pick on him if I wasn't protecting him."
"Could you explain that without making my head spin?"
"OK. Ryouga actually believes in bushido. He wants to be an honorable man. He doesn't ignore honor when it's inconvenient, like my father, or deny his dishonorable actions like Kuno does. For these reasons, I have to try to respect his actions and decisions, and keep things I know about him private. If he does something embarrassing or stupid, I'd never spread it around school. But he's done a lot of things that bother me, and would bother others if they know; things only he and I know about. I can't stop him from doing them, I can't tell others about them. I'm stuck tacitly permitting things to continue. When I'm feeling philosophic, I can just chalk it up to his own learning experience. No one can stop you from making the mistakes you need in order to learn, or advance your soul from life to life. But most of the time it gets me really pissed at him. He's put me in a situation where there's nothing I can do."
"I can't believe he'd intentionally do something wrong."
"He doesn't. If he did, I could despise him, and be done with it. He gets trapped in situations, and lets embarrassment, anger, or dread keep him from doing the right thing. Let me see if I can explain, by analogy to a bad situation I got in. Imagine my curse was worse than it is. Imagine when I'm in my normal form I was completely invisible. Do you remember the day we met? Imagine I was invisible when you entered the bathroom. You saw the look of shock on my face, so you know that If I had a choice, I wouldn't have done that to you. But imagine that you didn't know I was there, and I couldn't leave without you realizing I was there. Imagine I spent the time during your bath facing the wall, but I'd have still seen more of you than you'd have liked. Imagine that I never told you about it for fear of being pounded for something I would never have done intentionally, and because of that, similar situations like that kept happening. It's a situation only a pervert would try to get into, but once it happens accidentally, you either hide it or be branded a pervert. Ryouga's situation is like that. Through accident, he's done things that'd upset others, and because he doesn't tell anyone, he winds up doing it again. Unfortunately, my punishment is to be the only one who knows what he's doing, and honor bound to keep it quiet. He's a good person trying to be good, but not very good at it."
"Why did you have to use such a weird analogy to explain Ryouga's actions?"
"Because Ryouga's situation is so unique. Anything more normal might have given you a hint of what he's done."
"I still don't see why that gets you angry at him."
"You're not seeing it from my perspective. look. Imagine you have two friends, a guy and a girl. The guy keeps seeing more of the girl than either of them would think is decent. You and the guy are the only two that know, and you realize the guy would rather not be in that situation in the first place. You are honor bound to keep quiet, so you wait for him to admit his problem to her so she can stop it. But he doesn't because he doesn't want to upset her, he doesn't want her to think he's a pervert. So you wind up watching him accidentally oggling your friend's poorly clothed body. Now how would you react? Eventually you'd get frustrated with both of them, and clobber him."
* * *
"Once again I find I must demean myself by dealing with you in order to get my message of love to my pigtailed girl. Oh, how the heavens must weep that two noble beings such as myself and my goddess, must resort to a cur as you to pass our messages."
"What makes you think I'll deliver letters to her for you?"
"Quoth Nabiki `Regardless of what you think of Ranma, when it comes to the pigtailed girl, he can't lie to her. If Ranma gets your letter, the pigtailed girl will know it's contents as if she read them herself.'"
"As usual, her information's accurate. What did she charge for this?"
"20,000 yen"
"Her information is accurate, but you haven't thought this through. I don't mislead her, but I'd rather tear up your letter, than read it and pass the contents to her."
"You would dare interfere with my communication?"
"Of course, I dare! You consistently demean me and then ask for favors! I'm no servant of yours. You attack me on the day we met because my father and Akane's father insist I stay at their house! You brand me an enemy without waiting for explanation. You fail to respect my skills. And through poorly thought out words you denigrate the skill of those you claim to love."
"I cannot allow those last two statements to proceed unchallenged. You continue to elude defeat at my hands only through trickery, and I'd never slight my beloved's skills."
"Regardless of what you think of our fights, I am the only one in Furinkan to defeat Akane in combat."
"You have surely deceived her."
"Do you think so little of her skill in martial arts to think she'd be so deceived? She admits that I'm a better fighter! She doesn't like to, no competent martial artist would. But she doesn't deny it. And it is no slight on her that she loses. She always tries her best, and despite my teasing her, she consistently improves. I've been training longer and harder than her for most of my life. No honor is ever lost losing to a superior opponent if you've tried your best. You can't denigrate my skill without slighting Akane. And my skill matches your goddess's. When you first saw her, she hadn't developed her speed. But now her speed compensates for her reduced upper body strength. Your darlings and I all fight in the same school. Our skills are directly comparable. If you insult my skill, you insult them."
"Then I will not insult your skill, but your morals instead. Your hold on the pigtailed goddess is unholy, and I will free her!"
"After all of this time, you should understand the nature of our link. You would have figured it out long ago if you didn't think of her as just a woman."
"She isn't just a woman, she's a goddess on earth!"
"She's a warrior first and foremost. From China we've fought our way back to Japan, and we've protected each other ever since. You cannot kill one of us without killing us both. We're closer than lovers. I could no easier hurt her, than hurt myself. The idea of a romantic liaison between us is unthinkable. I don't see how you could hope to win her regard by spitting on her other half. Have you ever seen me do anything romantic to her? Have I ever slighted her? Of course she treats you as I would. We are one mind and body, and all your attempts to free her merely confirm to her my opinion of you."
"Can this be true? Have I mistaken the pure love of comrades in arms for the depraved lust of an undisciplined youth? It is like a veil being drawn from my eyes! This explains everything! The way you drop into each other's fights! The reason she reacted oddly to my insults of you. Ranma, I still don't trust you, but this news of yours has all the earmarks of truth. I must think on this some more. We will talk on this again later!"
* * *
School finally ended, and Ranma headed off for his checkups, and to pick up Shampoo for here introduction to his mother. Cologne volunteered Mousse's help. "I told Mousse he would demonstrate his curse for your mother, as the side effects of Shampoo's transformation are unpredictable. I was surprised at how readily he agreed. If this is the result of your agreed upon outing with Mousse and Shampoo, then I'm glad. If you and Mousse are plotting something, I'll be severely disappointed."
"I have said one thing to Mousse that you might dislike. I told him I was honorbound to marry three women, Akane, Ukyou, and Shampoo. My mother will inevitably want this resolved before my death, which means this terrible period of confusion has an end in sight, and there's only a 1 in three chance that I'll be paired with Shampoo. That's the depth of my plotting with Mousse. I've made no promises to him about Shampoo; I just pointed out that this craziness would inevitably end."
"That explains his willingness to expedite matters. Regardless of what you think of my treatment of Mousse, I do realize that the uncertainty of this situation is as hard on him as it is on Shampoo."
"As it is on me. Though I've tried to accept it."
* * *
Ranma, Mousse and Shampoo walked to the dojo. Without the usual dialogue of glompings and death threats, no one knew how to start a conversation. Finally Ranma breaks the awkwardness asking "So where and when do you want to go for our outing?"
"I hadn't thought about it."
"Me neither."
"How about taking a train into the countryside? We can enjoy the quiet and the scenery, and if we get bored, we can always spar. We can go Saturday after I get out of class, and if it's raining, we can go on Sunday instead."
"What about other people interfering?"
"Just tell everyone we're going to the same amusement park. That's probably what they are expecting anyway. If they have nothing better to do than ruin our fun, we'll send them in the wrong direction."
* * *
"Mom, before I introduce Shampoo to you, Mousse has agreed to help demonstrate something you have to know. I've run into a couple of things that can only be explained as magic. I've had to live with this, and you wont be able to understand the full fiancee situation without believing it yourself. Mousse has offered to help."
"Is he going to demonstrate some martial arts move that normal humans couldn't match? That'd hardly been convincing. I've seen many martial arts moves that boggle the eyes, but are just the result of skill and training."
"No, Mousse will demonstrate his Jusenkyou curse. He fell into a spring in China that turned him into a thermal aquamorph." Mousse removes his kimono to reveal he's wearing a t-shirt and shorts. "Mousse turns into a duck when hit by cold water." With that Mousse up-ends a glass of cold water, and turns into a bespectacled duck. "Hot water turns him back."
"That's impossible. Isn't it?"
* * *
"Mom, have you recovered from the shock yet?"
"I think it'll take a while for me to fully adjust. Why don't you go ahead and introduce tonight's guest?"
"Mother, I'd like to present to you the most accomplished of the tribe of Chinese amazons of her generation, and heir apparent for its leadership, Shampoo. Through ignorance of their customs, and after alot of confusion I have unintentionally proved my right to marry her. I have also compromised her honor by defeating her in public in a martial arts contest. For her to regain her honor we must marry. Also, at present there is some question as to whether I have any say in whether or not we marry, as I'm only a man, In addition, over time she has become a friend."
"I'm pleased to meet any friend of my son. His introduction has raised more questions than it has answered. Please, tell me about yourself."
"I've devoted myself to becoming the best fighter in the village. Unfortunately We aren't allowed to marry outsider males unless they can best us in combat. I was the best I ever saw under the age of 25. ... "
* * *
"So I tracked Ranma here. At that point I still wanted to defeat him. When here, I realized I found someone I could marry. But Ranma tricked me to protect Akane. He convinced me he didn't qualify for my laws to let us marry. I tried to attack, but I couldn't. I cared for him. so I went back home in disgrace."
"But elders revealed Ranma's trick, and ruled us married, and sent me to bring husband home. But at this time I got a Jusenkyou curse. ..."
* * *
"Shampoo, I'm still having trouble believing in these curses. Would you be willing to demonstrate?"
"OK, but ..."
"I better wait outside. She falls out of her clothes when she transforms. Please call me when she's redressed."
* * *
"Shampoo, would you mind explaining in your own words why your great-grandmother believes your tribal laws take precedence over Ranma's arranged marriages?"
"Our laws have allowed us to remain strong. To protect our culture for far longer than your race's history. While Japan was protected from the mainland by sea, We've faced Mongols, Power-hungry Emperors, Lascivious Warlords, and throughout this we've maintained our culture, and our respect for our laws. Many of the items of your culture of which you are proud can trace their roots to China, if not the Amazons. We aren't as strong as we have been in the past, but we are the proud descendants of a culture spanning three thousand years intact and undefeated. Compared to our laws, all others are but recent agreements, unlikely to last another thousand years. Ranma came to our village, and is subject to our laws. He then fled, for reasons we didn't understand at the time, so we were sent to bring him back for our laws to be carried out. If we wanted to, we could ask the Chinese ambassador to request him to be extradicted, but that would be pointless. Our village doesn't want him as a prisoner. I don't want him as my prisoner, I want him as my husband. When I chased him, I wanted to kill him, but now I love him. I will fight for him until they kill me, and if they don't kill me honorably, there will be war between my village and my murderer's clan, and that clan will cease to exist."
"I understand that you want Ranma to come of his own free will, why do you think you'd be the best wife for Ranma?"
"I spent my life training. I am the best fighter of a tribe of fighters, and the heir to a collection of martial arts secrets larger than any collection in Japan. Two of Ranma's three most powerful attacks he learned from great-grandmother. Among us he will be able to realize his true potential, surpassing even the dragon's son Herb. I love him, and don't abuse him like Akane. I am the strongest, and most beautiful. I have even learned Japanese just to talk with him. If his father bothered learning the language before charging through our country like a wounded ox, Ranma's life would have been much easier. Many people have tried to catch me, only Ranma has succeeded. After so many have failed to win my love, it's absurd if Ranma forsakes me."
"Ranma is blessed to have a girl such as you interested in him. Were it not for all of the commitments that bind him, this would be a happy occasion. None-the-less, I am pleased to meet you. Please tell me about your experiences in Nerima."
"Great-grandmother and I opened a restaurant named after my cursed form. We figured that after martial arts, Ranma and Genma's biggest passion was food. Of course we didn't know he had earlier sold Ranma for an okonomiyaki yatai then. ..."
* * *
Over dinner Kuno laments "Oh, we must surely have been cursed by the gods, for I have learned today that our assumptions of the bond between Ranma and my pigtailed goddess were in error; and that our efforts to free them were misdirected, and doomed to failure. How could I have missed the signs of a pure love of surpassing innocence."
"Speak plainly, oniichan, what do you know of the bond between those two that I do not?"
"They experience a love, the type of which can never receive consummation, and which, as yet neither of us have ever had the blessing to experience. Such a love that all our attempts to drive them apart merely reflected poorly upon us, causing our love borne entreaties to mock us, and drive our desired away."
"You're speaking in riddles, oniichan."
"Why, thank you."
"That was not a compliment! What type of love binds those two?"
"It is the love of a brother in arms. They are closer than siblings, yet without the passions of a romantic love. To hurt or insult one, is a blow to the other. Their opposition to our suits springs merely from our behavior against their protector. They fought their way through China to Japan, and trust each other implicitly. When we were fighting for their release, we should have been trying to develop a relation of trust and respect."
"I? Respect that roach-girl? Never."
"Then you'll never truely have Ranma, for they value each other's opinions as their own. When you have completely won him, then my pigtailed goddess will automatically be your friend."
"Can this be true? Did that roach fight me merely for her school's honor, and to support Akane? I alienated her because I thought she wanted Ranma for herself, when she only wanted a part of him that I never wanted? Ranma has never claimed her as a fiancee like all of the other hussies that surround him, trying to bind him by family honor. I must have this confirmed by Ranma himself."
* * *
Nabiki entered the dojo to talk to Ranma. "OK, what happened. Kuno was acting weird all afternoon after he left to give you a letter. What happened?"
"I actually managed to convince him, I think, that I don't lust after my other half. We are now comrades in arms. The pigtailed girl avoids him because he constantly insults me. We tell each other everything because we're closer than brother and sister, but completely devoid of lascivious intent. It explains everything about us, besides the fact I changed from one to the other when soaked. If I can reinforce this, he'll maintain whatever obsessions he wants, but hopefully treat me with some respect. It'll cut down on the number of times I have to knock him out."
"That makes sense. No one is stupid enough to bet on a Kuno fight, so dropping those fights wont decrease my betting pool. It might also reduce damages around here. This also might make him act in a new manner. He's been pretty repetitive for the last couple months. Any change would be welcome. I'll reinforce your ideas on him, maybe this'll stick in his mind. You can never tell what he will internalize mentally."
* * *
Ranma is performing his kata when a wind of black rose petals flies in. "Uh, hello Kodachi. It'd be a bad time to paralyze me or drug me. If my mother caught us together that way, she'd get a bad first impression before meeting you tomorrow."
"I'm sorry, but I didn't come here to indulge in pleasant diversions. My brother told me that you and that girl who sometimes bears your name are only comrades in arms. Is this true?"
"Yes. We don't have, and never did have any romantic interest in each other. Her name is Ranko Tendo, Akane's cousin, and my mother is rather protective of her."
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"You never stopped to listen. Didn't you find it odd that none of my fiancees dislike her? Out of everyone interested in me, you're the only one to attack her? That is besides Akane, She attacks everyone other than her sisters."
"I'm going to have to think about this. See you tomorrow."
* * *