Note/Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit. There. – Anyway, this concludes chapter 4 (are you satisfied now, Gamine? :P). Just the epilogue to go, and I can continue with my next story … as always, comments are welcome, and thanks to everybody who reviewed so far; it's deeply appreciated and helps keep me going.
Perfectly Good Reasons
Chapter 4c
By Dagmar Buse
The swings at the playground in Angel Grove Park were undulating gently as Kim pushed herself half-heartedly against the churned-up sand and stared out towards the lake; she didn't really know why she'd come here this windy afternoon, but staying comfortably at home by herself just hadn't felt right. A hollow feeling was lodged in the pit of her stomach; that had started when Jason had run off after the last detention session this morning, his face still pale and his eyes … Kim really didn't want to remember the look in his eyes. She was too young to understand the mixture of shame, regret, insecurity, disappointment and fear visible in them, and how badly those emotions fit the boy she'd come to know as confident, strong, friendly and very protective. Sometimes overly so, yes, but that didn't matter now. The girl only had a vague sense of having failed her new friend somehow, and it was that most of all which had brought her to the jungle gym, waiting for she knew not what.
"You couldn't stay home by yourself either, right?" said a voice from behind her. Kimberly let out a startled squeak and nearly fell off the swing as she whirled around and looked into Zack's unusually somber face.
"Zack! Don't do that!" she exclaimed, but couldn't quite summon sufficient indignation to make it sound properly outraged. "You nearly gave me a heart attack," she added with false drama in an attempt to make light of the situation. Zack only grimaced.
"Sorry."
"Okay."
Both children stared at each other for a moment, then wandered off towards a bench in silent accord. Sitting down next to each other, they sighed moodily while Zack scuffed his sneakers on the ground. Before either could start a conversation about anything, they were hailed from a short distance away.
"Hey, Kim! Zack," Trini's soft voice called out. The two looked up and saw the slender girl come towards them, a pensive-looking Billy in tow.
"Hey, guys," Kim and Zack chorused, and made room on their bench for the others to join them. They did so, and now it was four preteens lined up in a row, looking for all the world like birds on a telephone wire as they huddled into their jackets. The silence among them grew heavier and heavier the longer they sat there, waiting for one of them to make a start. To everybody's surprise, it was shy Billy who spoke up first.
"Am I correct in assuming that all of us feel badly about Jason?" he murmured, not raising his eyes from the ground.
"I know I do," Trini admitted in a near whisper. "What he did to get detention really wasn't any worse than what any of us did …"
"Yeah. Not once we knew the reasons behind it, anyway," Zack contributed. Kimberly nodded.
"And now he's probably mad at us for not seeing that sooner – like we managed for our stories."
"I'm pretty certain we could have made Jason see if break hadn't been over just then." Trini shook her head regretfully, setting her raven tresses swinging gently. "Or if he'd stayed behind just a little afterwards …"
"Would you have stayed in his place?" Zack asked no-one in particular. The guilty blushes on everybody's faces were answer enough. "Thought so."
"The question now is, can we make amends in any way, and if so, when?" Billy said, ever practical.
"We can't just ignore the fact that our reaction seems to have hurt Jason. Quite understandably so. And that is making me feel very uncomfortable."
"You're not the only one," Kim murmured. "Or we wouldn't have come here in the first place."
"Yeah," the dark-skinned boy sighed. He drew a deep breath. "So, are we gonna go look for Jason, or do we wait until Monday morning?"
The children pondered this for a couple of minutes. Trini glanced up first, her almond eyes determined.
"Let's go look him up," she suggested. "I can't imagine how Jason must be feeling now, believing that we think he's a bully, and we should really tell him that it's not so right away." She wasn't normally the type to go looking for confrontations of any kind, but this was the right thing to do, she was sure of that much, and Trini didn't want anyone to suffer needlessly if there was something she could do about it.
Kimberly smiled wryly. "Right. Besides, if you guys are as miserable about this as I am, the sooner I can make that feeling go away, the better." It felt decidely good to know at last what was bugging her, and more so that she wasn't alone in this.
"Put like that, it sounds incredibly selfish," the Asian whispered. "But yeah."
The boys seemed equally relieved and ashamed that someone had put their state of mind – which was identical to the girls' – into words. The four slowly got up from their perch, standing in a loose circle as they all waited unconsciously for someone to take the initiative and just go. It occurred not just to one of them that, if Jason had been among them, they'd already be on their way. Realizing that it fell to one of them in Jason's absence, Zack finally squared his shoulders.
"Let's go then."
The grateful looks he received for making that decision bolstered his courage, and he felt some of his customary good humor return.
"I say let's start at his house, and if he's not there, I think I know of a few places where we might look."
The others agreed, and the four youngsters trooped off, towards the Scott residence.
They were in luck; through a gap in the fence they could see Jason in the yard, bouncing a basketball desultorily at a hoop attached to the back of the garage.
"Now remember, we're not going to fight with Jason; we'll deal with this in a mature and sensible manner," Trini reminded all of them one last time before she pressed the door bell. The others nodded solemnly, composing their faces into serious but hopefully friendly expressions as they lined up in front of the door.
Mrs. Scott was surprised to see them, but didn't ask any questions; she just led them through the house to the back door. Calling her son's attention to his visitors, she then retired into the kitchen, hoping that the children might manage to get Jason out of the doldrums he'd been in ever since he'd come home from school that morning.
~*~
Jason didn't turn around as he heard the back door open and his mother ushered someone – no, several someones – into the yard. He'd heard his classmates' voices on the other side of the fence, and he had absolutely no desire to talk to any of them. Not after the way they had treated him at school this morning. If he was being honest, it was mostly injured pride that made him throw his ball even harder – missing the hoop by a mile, almost – but he was still feeling too hurt by what he perceived was unfounded criticism.
*Can't they see I was only trying to help? So I overreacted with Stuart and that other guy. Big deal. That still doesn't mean I'm a bully.*
What smarted most was that he hadn't found the same willingness to see his side of the story like the others had gotten; it seemed to the twelve-year-old that everybody thought he'd been in the wrong. First the teachers, now his friends … no. If the others sided with the Principal, they were no friends of his. Jason swallowed the lump at the back of his throat and fought the temptation to rub at his burning eyes. He was not going to cry like a baby … even if a part of him wanted to curl up in the darkest corner of his room and just bawl.
Stubbornly, he trudged after the ball which had bounced off the garage wall and rolled onto the lawn. To his chagrin, it came to a stop right at Trini's feet, who bent and picked up the orange-and-black sphere before he could do more than reach for it. She held it out to him with a shy smile.
"Hey, Jason," she murmured in her soft voice. The others echoed the greeting nervously.
The boy grunted something unintelligible, snatched the ball from her hands and turned his back on them again. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his mother standing at the window, watching them and shaking her head in silent disapproval. Jason knew she'd read him the riot act but good later if he didn't mind his manners, so he nodded briefly.
"Hey," he muttered ungraciously. "What do you want?"
Somewhat taken aback by his lack of civility, the four children stared at him for a few moments, then Zack took the plunge.
"We wanna talk," he announced without preamble. Jason just scowled.
"What about? You said everything this morning already," he grumped. "Or rather, you didn't. You made it pretty obvious that you think I was the one who belonged in detention. Not like you guys, who were oh-so-innocent." There was an ugly sneer on his features that almost made the youngsters quail, but with a burst of insight fuelled in part by what she refused to call her guilty conscience, Kimberly recognized it for what it was. Attitude, pure and simple, with a hefty dose of bravado.
*Well, Jason can just take his 'tude and, like, shove it!*
"Stop it!" she exclaimed, grasping at a muscular arm. She gave Jason a shake – or tried to, anyway; she was too petite and he too strong for her grip to have any effect. However, that did not deter the fiery girl. "Jason Scott, you know that we hardly had time to really talk, because break was over and ol' Jenkins was waiting for us. Nobody said that we didn't believe you, so you can just stop being such a butthead and listen," she scolded vehemently. "And if you hadn't run off after school like a scared bunny rabbit, we needn't have come here!" Kim stood toe-to-toe with Jason, glaring up into his face as if daring him to contradict her.
She needn't have worried. Jason was so startled by her outburst that his mouth was slightly agape, and the basketball dropped from his hands again. With an effort, he collected his wits, latching on to what seemed like the ultimate insult.
"I was NOT scared," he protested.
"Yes, you were," Kim said, smugly triumphant at having gotten a rise out of him.
"Was not!"
"Were, too!"
"Not!"
"Were, too!" With every word, Kim advanced one step forward, and without thinking, Jason took the same step backwards, across the well-kept lawn towards a small ornamental pond. Billy and Trini, who were watching the confrontation, exchanged alarmed looks – if Kim wasn't careful, she'd add insult to injury if Jason should stumble into the water. But neither one seemed to pay any attention at all to where they were headed.
It was a strange scenario – tiny Kimberly almost chasing the burly Jason into the water basin with pointed stabs of her small forefinger at his broad chest, and the usually confident boy retreating from her with an expression on his face that was no longer sullen but rather baffled, as if he didn't quite know how he'd landed in such a situation, all the while protesting her accusation of having been scared in a way that would've sounded childish in a kindergartner.
Jason would've dearly loved to fight back somehow, it would have been so very easy, but three things stopped him from doing so – a) Kim was smaller and weaker than him, and he'd never use his strength like that, b) Kim was a friend, and Jason just did not hurt his friends, and c) Kim was a girl. Not that that made any difference in the grand scheme of things; learning karate had taught Jason that gender didn't really matter – sensei Patricia at his dojo being a case in point – but his mom would have his hide if he ever hit a girl. If nothing else, good manners stopped Jason as effectively as anything. So, the only course open to him was to retreat before the petite girl, and try to stop her verbally.
*Easier said than done – I wish I could think of something – ANYTHING! – to say to make her take it back!*
"Was not!"
"Were too! Too, too, too!"
Jason stumbled, getting perilously close to the pond's edge. Only one more step, and he'd fall in.
It proved too much for Zack. His sense of the ridiculous got the better of him, and he started to snicker. Catching Trini's eyes, he winked merrily at her, and suddenly she began to giggle as the comical aspect became obvious to her, too. "Oh my," she gasped, nudging Billy. The blond looked faintly disturbed and scandalized – they hadn't come here to quarrel with Jason, after all, and he had no idea how Kimberly could act like that towards their comrade when they'd intended to comfort him, but a look into Zack and Trini's faces made him reassess the situation. His lips began to twitch as well.
"A truly mature and reasoned exchange of opinion," he said drily. "I thought Kimberly was the one who insisted on not fighting with Jason."
Trini chuckled. "She's not fighting with him. She's … having an argument."
"Oh. Does Jason know that?" Billy asked, straight-faced.
Grinning broadly, Zack pretended to mull that over. "Hmm. I wouldn't bet on it. Besides, if that's 'not fighting', I'd hate to see Kim when she does!"
The three glanced at Jason and Kimberly, who were looking decidedly sheepish, and sported nearly identical blushes. Their expressions tipped the scales from wary uncertainty to humor. Trini, Zack and Billy broke into laughter, which proved too infectious for the others. Kim was the first who couldn't keep a giggle from escaping, and when she just grabbed Jason's hand and pulled him unceremoniously over to join the group, making him stumble in the process, he couldn't maintain his hostility anymore, either. He was perhaps slightly less mirthful than his friends, but he did laugh, and that was enough for the moment.
"Oh man, Jase, you should've seen yourself when Kim was chasing you towards the pond," Zack wheezed, sending the others into fresh paroxysms of laughter. "That was too funny!"
Jason mock-glared at the tiny girl. "She was NOT chasing me," he grumbled. "I was just … er … getting out of her way."
"It looked like being chased to me," Trini commented innocently. "Didn't it, Billy?"
The blond pretended to consider the question seriously, but the sparkle in the greenish eyes behind his glasses betrayed him. "If it wasn't, Jason gave a very good impression of being chased. And Kimberly's technique seemed quite flawless to me, too."
Kim curtsied grandiosely. "Thank you, sir," she said, her voice positively dripping honey – then spoiled the effect by sticking her tongue out at Jason, who retaliated in kind. Zack, watching the exchange avidly, nodded sagely at the other two.
"Just the way Kim wanted to handle this – mature and sensible. Riiiight."
Which garnered him a raspberry from the gymnast, and general silliness followed for several minutes – which proved to be a perfect way to dispel the last bit of tension among the five youngsters. They only stopped when Mrs. Scott called them inside, to a most welcome snack of hot chocolate and peanut butter cookies. She smiled to herself as she served the children seated around her kitchen table, glad that the sullen look had vanished from her son's eyes, and that he was talking and laughing again. Jason hadn't said a word why he'd come home from school angry and upset, and the blonde woman hadn't wanted to pry just yet. Now it seemed she wouldn't have to; whatever had gone wrong seemed to have resolved itself quite nicely now that Jason's new friends were here. Shaking her head, wondering if she would ever fully understand the workings of her preteen son's mind, Liz Scott tactfully retired to the living room, leaving the children free to chat about whatever they wanted to.
~*~
"Will you let us explain about this morning, Jason?"
He looked across the table at Trini, his dark eyes growing momentarily distant again, but then he sighed resignedly. "Yeah, I guess."
She smiled her thanks. Silence settled over the table as each child collected their thoughts, making the shift from friendly banter to a more serious topic. For a minute, nobody seemed to know how or where to begin, but then Jason took the proverbial bull by the horns himself.
"Do … do you guys really think I'm a bully?" he asked hesitantly, more subdued than they'd ever seen him. "'Cause I don't mean to be … and I, uh, I'd hate to think that I'm the only one who needed to be in detention …" His voice trailed off as Jason searched his friends' faces for signs of accusation. He found none.
The four kids exchanged looks, then Kim determinedly faced their host.
"I know you're not a bully," she declared stoutly, grinning briefly at the relief crossing Jason's face. "I also know you wouldn't want to harm anyone. But Jase … that's how you can seem to someone who doesn't know you."
There were murmurs of agreement. Puzzled, Jason stared at Kim.
"What do you mean?" he asked, honestly confused. Exasperated, Kim shook her head.
"I didn't see what happened with you and Stuart and that other kid, but … take that scene in the hallway on Tuesday morning, when you kinda threatened Brad," she said.
"That jerk was hassling you," Jason protested. "I was only trying to help! And I didn't really threaten him, either!"
"I know," she huffed, blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes. "But Brad didn't. The way you looked at him, the way you just stood there was enough."
"Huh?"
Trini spoke up. "Yes. I saw what happened, and really, Jason … you may not have meant to, but it looked as if you were going to attack him any second, if he just said one wrong word …"
"In any case, it was enough to send Brad packing. Which I could've done all by myself, anyway." Kim's voice was firm and offered no compromise. Still, Jason tried to justify his action.
"Kim, he was bigger and older than you …"
"Yeah, and I've been handling him alone ever since school started," she grumbled, a trace of annoyance at Jason's obtuseness in her tone. "Brad's just a big jerk, nothing else. He's just not the type to really force someone. I know that, and he knows I know. He just doesn't give up easily."
"But …"
"No but," Kimberly stated firmly. "To be honest, Jase, it kinda bugged me that you interfered. I'm not some damsel in distress, I already have a big brother who's butting in way too often in my life, and I don't want another one at school, too."
The boy blushed. "I … I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," he mumbled. "It's just, when I saw him crowding you … I thought you might need help. And I always try to help my friends."
"Like you did with me and that guy in the parking lot," Trini nodded. "I appreciate the thought, Jason, but I could've done without the forced apology, just because he bumped into me. It was an accident, nothing more. The whole thing just wasn't worth getting all worked up about." While she spoke gently, she also managed to convey how serious she was.
"Are you saying I made it worse?" Jason gulped after a pause, truly appalled. That had been the very last thing on his mind! "I honestly didn't mean to …"
"I know," the raven-haired girl said. "That's why I didn't make a fuss." Her smile took the sting out of her words, but it was enough to make Jason hang his head guiltily.
"I dislike adding to your discomfort, Jason," Billy said next. "But Kimberly's statement applies to the situation you found me in yesterday, too. Farkas and Eugene are irritating in the extreme, and I admit that they are physically overwhelming and that I'm not truly at ease whenever they decide to waylay me, but they are not really mean-spirited. They would not have harmed me."
"Maybe not," Jason replied, "but what about jerking you around, making fun of you and stuff? I've heard that they've stuffed a kid into a trash can once, or put slime bombs on a girl's chair …"
"Granted. But that falls more under the category of silly pranks rather than grievous bodily harm."
Jason looked at his slight companion disbelievingly. "Don't tell me you like being treated like dirt by those two clowns!"
"No," Billy admitted. "It is extremely irritating, and sometimes even humiliating. I wish they would stop doing things like that, to me or to others." He held up a hand before Jason could say a word. "Your motive for interfering the way you did was certainly admirable, and I'd have been grateful if I had been in serious dire straits, but I wasn't, and I, too, would prefer to handle things on my own as long as I can."
The broad shoulders slumped. "Sorry."
Trini patted his hand. "Apology accepted. Right, guys?"
"Yeah," Kim and Zack chorused, and Billy nodded.
"Does it make you feel better, Jason, if I promised to ask for your help if and when I truly need it?" Billy suggested diffidently after a minute. Now that the air had been cleared and he'd had time to evaluate what had happened, the thought of having a protector of sorts, a 'big brother', seemed unexpectedly attractive. Not that he ever intended to avail himself of Jason's services, but one never knew …
"Yeah, it does," Jason replied slowly. "I'd hate knowing that you – or anyone else – are in trouble somehow and I couldn't help."
"Then you have my word," Billy said simply.
"Mine, too," Kim added. "I'm not exactly looking for a knight in shining armor or stuff, but if I ever need one …"
"Jason would be perfect for the role," Zack interrupted, grinning infectiously. "I can just see him, charging ahead full-tilt on his bike, bo staff at the ready as he whaps the jerks and dweebs in passing."
The image the dark-skinned boy painted was funny, and all five children laughed even as Jason blushed again. It hit a little too close to home, and he vowed to himself that in the future, he'd take the time to really assess a situation before he rushed in to help. And if what his friends said was true, maybe he didn't need to actually interfere. Jason sighed deeply.
"Okay then. I promise not to butt in unless asked or in an emergency, and you guys promise to yell if you need my help. Agreed?"
"Yeah. – Yes. – Sure. – Positive," came the chorus of voices, and Jason found a genuine smile, feeling suddenly lighter than he had all day. He bounced off his chair and reached for the pitcher of chocolate milk, offering refills.
"Now that that's out of the way, is there anything else we need to talk about?" he asked just a touch facetiously. "I mean just so there are no more skeletons in anyone's closet …"
The five looked at each other, then Zack piped up.
"Speaking of skeletons, Billy, can you help me paint one on my ghost costume for Halloween?" The holiday was only four days away.
"Certainly," Billy agreed readily. "I have a picture in an encyclopedia that we can use as a template."
"If Zack's a ghost, what are you going as?" Kim asked curiously. Jason answered first.
"Spiderman", he announced. "My mom found this really cool costume in a second-hand store. What about you, Billy?"
The blond squirmed a little; he wasn't in the habit of thinking about fancy dress events, but had been persuaded to go trick-or-treating with his new friends for once. He just hoped his choice of costume wouldn't get laughed at.
"I was thinking of donning an alchemist's robe," he stammered shyly. He noticed a few uncomprehending looks, and explained. "Alchemists were the medieval forebears of today's scientists, even though a great percentage of their work and experiments was based on myth and legend alongside more empirical methods. As was the custom of the period, they wore special clothing both to protect themselves and to denote their profession …"
"But what do they look like?" Kimberly interrupted him with a tiny smile. Billy smiled back, accepting the implied gentle rebuke with good grace.
"A floor-length dark robe accompanied with a tall conical hat, both adorned with alchemical symbols and signs of the zodiac."
It took a few seconds to construct the mental image, then Zack snorted half exasperatedly, half amused. "Alchemist, my foot. That's a sorceror's costume. Why didn't you say so?"
Billy blinked at him, the picture of innocence. "I believe I just did."
"Yeah, right!"
The following good-natured squabble lasted until it was time for Jason's friends to leave. He ushered them to the door and as they filed out, he stopped them one last time.
"Thanks for coming, guys."
There was no need to explain what exactly he was thanking them for – acceptance, a willingness to listen, and most of all caring enough about him to go that extra mile, to come seek him out even when he'd thought he never wanted to see them again.
"Don't run away the next time," Trini admonished him with her sweet smile.
"Yeah – we don't usually make house calls," Zack quipped.
"I won't, promise."
"Good. See you in school on Monday," Kim called, and the four trooped off, leaving a happy Jason behind. As he wandered off to his room, he found to his surprise that school somehow had become something to look forward to.
To Be Continued …