A/N: This is a response to Eggplant's foolishly challenging me. Mwahahaha...erm where was I? Oh yes the challenge was this:
Let's not kid ourselves, none of us can write as well as Rowling, I Know I don't have the ability to write the perfect ending for the Harry Potter saga but I've done the next best thing. I believe I've come up with the worst possible way to end it. I challenge anyone to come up with a last page of book 7 that is more disappointing, more artless, more joy destroying, more stupid, than this.
Hope you like(/hate) it.
Harry and Hermione walked down toward the forbidden forest holding hands. (They had been going out for 3 years). Ron followed closely behind with his girlfriend, Lavender.
"Why are we going down here, again?" Hermione asked Harry.
"Lavender got a note, saying for her and Ron to meet someone." he replied.
"Are you sure this is a good idea, Lavender, sweetheart?" Ron said nervously.
"Of course I am, you dumb little teddybearpoo" she giggled.
Harry and Hermione both gagged. Finally they reached the edge of the forest. They spotted a rabbit waiting for them there.
"Aaaaawwww, how cute!" Lavender cooed. They followed the rabbit deep into the forest. Suddenly, they reached a clearing and Voldemort jumped out! Everyone screamed.
"I see you followed my evil rabbit." he said in his terrifying voice. The evil rabbit started laughing maniacly.
"Noooooo!!!" said Hermione, "I thought it was a good rabbit."
Voldemort turned to Lavender. "I have something to tell you. I am your father. Join me and we will rule the world together, as father and son!!"
"Never!" shouted Lavender.
"Then you'll have to fight me or die" he said.
"I cannot kill you father. You have to kill me first!"
Voldemort looked at her. He was so overwhelmed by her love. "I can't kill you either. You have made me good. I love you Lavender!"
"I love you too!"
"Not so fast" Dumbledore stepped out from behind a tree. He was smiling maniacly.
"If you won't kill her I will have to do it for you." he said.
"Dumbledore is evil?!?!" Harry said. "No it can't be!!!"
"Oh but it is!" he said evily.
He pointed his wand at Lavender and said "Avada Kedavra!"
"Noooooo!!!!!!" shrieked Voldemort. He jumped in front of Lavender and got hit by the curse instead. He fell on the ground dead.
"Nooooooooo!!!!" Lavender cried. She sobbed over her dead father.
Harry looked up at Dumbledore furious. "Avada Kedavra!" he shouted and Dumbledore, who is evil now by the way, fell dead.
The three friends all made their way back up to the castle. Hermione became the new headmaster, and Ron and Lavender finally got married. They had three kids, named Josh, Pooky, and Obi-wan.
The End
A/N: Ok tell me that was not the worst ending ever? Yes, I know maniacly is not a word but it should be! Oh and read Eggplants fic too, it's called The good, the bad, and the ugly. Well bye.
Disclaimer: I own nothing at all except my socks which were eaten by the evil snogglepuss that lives in my dryer, so again, I own nothing.
Let's not kid ourselves, none of us can write as well as Rowling, I Know I don't have the ability to write the perfect ending for the Harry Potter saga but I've done the next best thing. I believe I've come up with the worst possible way to end it. I challenge anyone to come up with a last page of book 7 that is more disappointing, more artless, more joy destroying, more stupid, than this.
Hope you like(/hate) it.
Harry and Hermione walked down toward the forbidden forest holding hands. (They had been going out for 3 years). Ron followed closely behind with his girlfriend, Lavender.
"Why are we going down here, again?" Hermione asked Harry.
"Lavender got a note, saying for her and Ron to meet someone." he replied.
"Are you sure this is a good idea, Lavender, sweetheart?" Ron said nervously.
"Of course I am, you dumb little teddybearpoo" she giggled.
Harry and Hermione both gagged. Finally they reached the edge of the forest. They spotted a rabbit waiting for them there.
"Aaaaawwww, how cute!" Lavender cooed. They followed the rabbit deep into the forest. Suddenly, they reached a clearing and Voldemort jumped out! Everyone screamed.
"I see you followed my evil rabbit." he said in his terrifying voice. The evil rabbit started laughing maniacly.
"Noooooo!!!" said Hermione, "I thought it was a good rabbit."
Voldemort turned to Lavender. "I have something to tell you. I am your father. Join me and we will rule the world together, as father and son!!"
"Never!" shouted Lavender.
"Then you'll have to fight me or die" he said.
"I cannot kill you father. You have to kill me first!"
Voldemort looked at her. He was so overwhelmed by her love. "I can't kill you either. You have made me good. I love you Lavender!"
"I love you too!"
"Not so fast" Dumbledore stepped out from behind a tree. He was smiling maniacly.
"If you won't kill her I will have to do it for you." he said.
"Dumbledore is evil?!?!" Harry said. "No it can't be!!!"
"Oh but it is!" he said evily.
He pointed his wand at Lavender and said "Avada Kedavra!"
"Noooooo!!!!!!" shrieked Voldemort. He jumped in front of Lavender and got hit by the curse instead. He fell on the ground dead.
"Nooooooooo!!!!" Lavender cried. She sobbed over her dead father.
Harry looked up at Dumbledore furious. "Avada Kedavra!" he shouted and Dumbledore, who is evil now by the way, fell dead.
The three friends all made their way back up to the castle. Hermione became the new headmaster, and Ron and Lavender finally got married. They had three kids, named Josh, Pooky, and Obi-wan.
The End
A/N: Ok tell me that was not the worst ending ever? Yes, I know maniacly is not a word but it should be! Oh and read Eggplants fic too, it's called The good, the bad, and the ugly. Well bye.
Disclaimer: I own nothing at all except my socks which were eaten by the evil snogglepuss that lives in my dryer, so again, I own nothing.