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His lordship Chaos presents:
BLACK BAT STRUT
1 Chapter the Third: "Hey, look! This fic has a plot!"
Back at Hogwarts, the remaining weekdays before Saturday night's festival were a blur of classes, excitement and rampaging rumours for Ginny. Word of Harry asking her out to the Hogsmeade festival had spread faster than a strain of Butt-Belching Bumblewarts. Ever since, she had become both a much- beloved, envied and loathed celebrity.
All of her classmates were more giddy than she was, dreaming up all sorts of romantic scenarios that might get played out during the festival. Ron couldn't stop grinning. When she chanced upon Dumbledore in the corridor on Friday afternoon, he winked at her and said, "Be gentle with him, please. I do have plans on using him in the future." And when she asked Hermione for tips on kissing, after Hermione got over being tongue-tied for a few minutes, she gave all sorts of detailed histories and techniques on kissing, complete with fully-referenced footnotes and diagrams.
Draco, however, was thoroughly distraught that Harry chose Ginny over him, and made a point of sticking his tongue out at her every chance he could.
Malibu's disappearance wasn't on her mind very much, with everything else that was vying for her attention. In fact, while she did find herself missing him every now and again, it was a great relief for Ginny in not having to worry about him. Besides, he was the one who had left, so it was all on his shoulders. Yes, that's exactly what it was. So there was no need to worry about Malibu at all, not when she had to worry about what she would be wearing for when she went to the festival arm in arm with…Harry!!
(blushblushblushblushblush!!!)
Even still….
"I wonder what he's doing right now," Ginny quietly said to herself Friday night as she stared out one of the windows in the Gryffindor girls' dorm. She pillowed her head on her arms and leaned on the windowsill. "I hope he's all right…."
* * *
However, in truth Ginny had really nothing to fear, for Malibu had spent the past two and a half days…well, telling everything. And we do mean everything: every single little impressively, magnificently useless fact he had ever collected from his centuries of life experience. McNair and Kitkat were give excessively detailed accounts of Malibu's time working as a bodyguard during a secret celebrity boxing match between the Loch Ness monster and the Ogopogo; of how Malibu accidentally broke the arms of the Venus de Milo one night when he was rummaging through a Florentine art studio for a snack; of when Malibu was paid to help a wizard in casting a popularity spell for some singing group called the Spice Girls; and so forth.
In fact, McNair was so fascinated by Malibu's relentless story-telling that he had completely forgotten about the whole 'torture' part of the interrogation.
"…and that is the real secret of how they get the caramilk into a Caramilk bar," Malibu finished.
McNair boggled. "You're serious? And here I thought it was some fancy part of the Muggle's chocolate manufacturing process."
Malibu shook his head. "Nope, it's all magic. Caramilk's got some temple filled with about three hundred Chinese monks personally apparating the caramilk into each and every Caramilk bar. It's quite the operation they have there. Say, you wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?"
Still bemused about the Cadbury's Caramilk secret, McNair pulled out a pocketwatch which had the large hand on the verge of pointing to 'time to implement evil plan'. "Um, it's almost time to implement our evil plan," he announced.
"Ah, thank you." With that, Malibu turned into a bat, and given his suddenly small size, the ropes tumbled to the floor, unable to hold him. "Now if you'll excuse me, I must be going now."
"Wh-What?" McNair exclaimed, jumping out from his own chair. "Since when could you transform into a bat?!"
"All vampires can," Malibu the bat replied as he flapped over McNair's head.
"I knew I had forgotten something when I prepared for this torture session," McNair muttered to himself. He quickly ducked as Malibu flew over his head towards the exit. "Hey, you can't escape yet, vampire! The interrogation's not over!"
Malibu the bat stuck his tongue out and raspberried McNair. "Tu madre!"
"You're not out of the dungeon yet," McNair said. "Kitkat, get that furry flying rodent and permanently ground him!"
However, since he had never been particularly interested in the conversation topic to begin with, Kitkat had long since fallen asleep, and not even poking him in the bellybutton with a wand tip could wake the hulking assistant up in time.
McNair roared as he saw Malibu fly out from the dungeon to freedom. He glared at Kitkat and hissed, "Useless lug! I should have hired your brother, Almond Joy, instead!"
McNair then kicked KitKat in the shins. This wasn't entire a good thing, since Kitkat had fallen asleep while standing up against the dungeon wall. Upon being kicked, Kitkat's entire body shook, then came crashing down right on top of McNair. There was just enough time for McNair's eyes to grow really really big…right before he was squished beneath the immense, sleeping henchman.
At the risk of stating the obvious, McNair will not be featured any longer in this fic due to being rendered two-dimensional. (Though critics of this story would argue his character was two-dimensional to begin with anyways, but who listens to them?)
* * *
Saturday morning crept slowly across Hogwarts, mainly because it was still recovering from the hangover Friday had left it with. While most of the students at Hogwarts wouldn't be up for a few hours yet, Hogsmeade had been bustling with activity all night. Witches and wizards had been arriving non- stop for the past few days, and every single inn and bed & breakfast was filled. Many had taken to setting up small campsites on the outskirts of the village, which was in fact closer to where the festival was going to take place.
Even at mid-morning, the streets were crowded, and the restaurants were even worse. Which was exactly why Remus Lupin had opted to order room service and have a late breakfast delivered upstairs. It also allowed Sirius to have a decent meal as a human, without some witch shrieking in terror over recognizing his somewhat "wanted dead or alive—though preferably dead" face.
"Look at them all," Sirius remarked, sitting on a chair and looking out their open hotel room window. "You'd think it was another Quidditch World Cup."
"Get away from there," Lupin said. He was busy getting himself suited up for the day. "The last thing either of us need is someone seeing your face in the window, and notifying the Ministry."
Sirius snorted. "Please. Everyone's too busy to look up at me."
With a sigh, Lupin conceded and allowed Sirius to recline. It was fortunate that Sirius could transform into a dog; not only could he patrol the town in that form, but it also gave him hours outside of their cramped hotel room. Having been a fellow student boarding with Sirius, Lupin could attest to how easily Sirius would get what the Muggles referred to as "cabin fever". That tended to be one of the reasons why he, and the four of them back in the day got into so much mischief.
A witch came up to deliver their breakfast, and fortunately had the decency to knock before she entered. When she did, she saw Lupin and a playful black dog awaiting her. Sirius' presence as a dog did help explain why Lupin always ordered two meals, and had asked for a room with two single beds.
Sirius, or "Snuffles" as he was known to the rest of the inn (Lupin didn't want to ask just how Sirius' canine form had acquired that name), got a pet on the head and an extra doggy treat before the witch-maid left.
"You know," Sirius remarked, transforming back into his human self and returning to his chair by the window. He began to bite into the bone-shaped biscuit. "These dog treats of theirs are frighteningly addictive."
"I can imagine," Lupin absently agreed as he sat down on the edge of his bed and began to eat his meal.
Sirius noted the preoccupied expression on Lupin's face. "Still worried about him, aren't you?"
"Malibu tends to be an idiot savant most of the time, yes, but he's never been one to shirk his duties," Lupin said. "The fact that we haven't seen or heard anything from him since that night in the Three Broomsticks concerns me."
"Think there might be something going down at the festival after all?"
Lupin nodded. "The possibility of that has increased, definitely. But without further evidence or leads, we're stuck here."
"Well, might as well not let it spoil the day or our appetite," Sirius said. "Hand me my bacon and eggs, will you?"
Basking in the sunlight pouring down through the open window, the two enjoyed their quiet breakfast. Then most unexpectedly, a small bat, smoking and on the verge of exploding into a pile of ash, crashed right into Lupin's bowl of porridge. Lupin dipped a spoon into his now-ruined porridge and hoisted the bedraggled Malibu out.
One look at the feckless vampire bat prompted Sirius to ask, "What the hell happened to you?"
Malibu blinked a few times, wiped some porridge from his face and replied, "It's a long story, so don't ask; I don't think the Veritasum's out of my system yet. Hey, this is good porridge! Think you can order up another bowl for me, except switch the milk with some chilled AB Positive?"
* * *
Ginny was amazed that she had been able to sleep at all Friday night. The Gryffindor common room had become host to yet another spectacular party, which only ended when Professor McGonagall showed up at 4am and stated in no uncertain terms that some people in the castle were trying to sleep. She had also added something the dead quite literally being woken up by the ruckus, and about how the noise was scaring all the dank, nasty things in the Forbidden Forest.
Naturally, after such a late-night celebration, barely anyone was conscious let alone coherent by lunchtime. However, the prospects of attending the Hogsmeade festival and then sleeping in for all of Sunday drove many students out of their warm beds and into the showers.
Ginny could hardly keep her lunch down, which for her was a small helping of buttered bread and a bowl of soup. Her stomach was doing flip-flops, her heart pounding ferociously whenever she glanced down the table and saw Harry (blush!) trying to keep from falling asleep in his salad. She managed to catch his eye, and he smiled and waved at her. Much blushing abounded, plus a playful elbow in her ribs from Seamus.
It was easy to see which students were third-years and above, and not merely because of their generally larger size. Everyone who could attend the festival at Hogsmeade were quick to devour their lunch and dart out to get ready and leave as soon as possible. The festival had been in full swing since Friday, but this was their only day to attend.
Ginny herself was blur of red hair and autumn dresses as she scrambled to primp. She wanted to look her best for Harry (blush!!!), especially since this was their first date.
(Trynottofaint! Trynottofaint! Trynottofaint!)
After an hour of frantic deliberation, second thoughts, countless doubts and dozens of encouragements from the other Gryffindor girls also getting ready, Ginny practically floated down into the common room. Her red hair had been combed out, one small section braided with a little silver bell hanging on the end, and Hermione had performed a shimmer charm that made it look as if Ginny's hair were like rippling waves of fiery water that changed hues whenever she tuned her head.
She certainly did manage to turn a few heads in the common room too. Harry, standing there in his dress robes, was left speechless. Ginny blushed and did a full turn, letting him see her dress. It was nothing fancy, and was covered mostly by her Hogwarts school robes, but Harry didn't seem to care all that much.
Just before Harry approached Ginny to escourt her to Hogsmeade, Ron placed a hand on Harry shoulder and in a very brotherly voice said quietly to Harry, "Get fresh with my little sister, and I'm going to take a golden snitch and shove it right up your—"
Moving right along, Harry and Ginny (arm in arm, and both trying to act like they knew what they were doing) joined a large group of Gryffnidors heading out to Hogsmeade. A large ferry, which made round trips every hour, was waiting to take them across the lake.
Ginny couldn't help but cling tenaciously to Harry's arm as they stood by the railing and looked down at the sparkling water. At first it was just out of sheer affection, where she was somewhat afraid that if she let go, he'd vanish. Then she really did cling tenaciously to him because the giant squid had decided to drag race the ferry, and it was all she could do to keep from being picked up by the wind and sent soaring across the lake.
"Well, that was certainly an adventure," George remarked as they disembarked. "Who'd have thought the squid would have had that last burst of adrenaline and overtake the ferry."
He glanced over her shoulder, where a somewhat drenched Ron was sulking mightily. "Oh come on, it's not like you're the first person who's had an entire bed of sea kelp hit him in the face."
"I still think you're cute," Hermione said, giving Ron a peck on the cheek. She wound up kissing a stunned kelp crab instead.
Not that the kelp crab protested, mind you.
Ginny continued to keep her arms wrapped around Harry's as the entourage walked the to Hogsmeade. They could hear the noise of the festival from the docks. Very soon they were able to see what all the commotion was about.
The road leading into the village had been transformed into an enormous open market and fairground. What awaited everyone was a labyrinth whose walls were comprised of side-by-side merchandise stands, concessions, game booths, and rides. At the far end of the grounds was a spectacular raised dais meant for the evening's concert performances.
At this point, it was every Hogwarts student for themselves, and most of the larger groups splintered into singles or pairs as everyone raced around. Ginny and Harry visited countless stalls selling food and sweets, and Harry blew away the competition at a Quidditch broom race. He also blew away the top to a private tent he passed over, which revealed Snape getting his back massaged by a Veela.
Snape immediately handed out demerit points to anyone who happened to be in sight…regardless of whether or not they were students. But lucky for Harry, he was able to hide behind a large inflatable troll and avoid getting caught.
Afterwards, he and Ginny visited petting zoo filled with small, cute and cuddly magical beasts amusing many a young child. And it also served to amuse many a nearby Hogwarts student when Draco tried to steal Harry away to a kissing booth, and Harry stuffed a sickle down Draco's robes…followed by a hyper-active Niffler.
On more than one occasion, Harry was besieged with ecstatic kids wanting his autograph. A number asked for Ginny's autograph too, when they found out he was her "girlfriend". (BLUSH!!)
It came as a bit of a surprise for Ginny when one minute the skies were clear and blue, and the next they were a deep violet and stippled with the reds and oranges of a setting sun. Had the afternoon passed by so quickly already?
Ginny looked up and saw Harry grinning and laughing at some wizard mimes pretending to be Muggles pretending to be magicians. She smiled to herself and blushed again. Regardless of how fast the day was going, she would never forget it.
Ginny was having so much fun at the festival and so much fun being with Harry, that the last thing on her mind was wondering if in fact this all might be some diabolical ruse being concocted by Can-You-Guess-Who? Likewise, far from her thoughts was the notion that Hogwarts' only hope rested in a wanted Animagus, a werewolf, and a vampire. Which is probably just as well; she might have just surrendered to the Dark Side after thinking about that last part.
* * *
"You know," Malibu the vampire bat said, tucked inside Lupin's inner jacket pocket. "I wouldn't have thrown up back there if you didn't walk so jerkily, Remus."
"And whose fault is it for ordering two bowls of blood and porridge this morning?" Lupin retorted evenly.
For as much as Lupin had wanted all three of them to split up and search the festival separately, that was impossible for Malibu. Not until sunset, at least. So for the time being Malibu had to be content as a bat, stuffed into a pocket where the sunlight couldn't turn him into an impressive display of spontaneous combustion.
Currently Sirius (posing as "Snuffles") was out on his own, busy trying to sniff out Harry. If Harry saw Snuffles, he would at least know something was wrong, and that would give them one extra ally.
"Have you found where Shufflebump's dressing rooms are yet?" came Malibu's voice.
Lupin shook his head. "I think we've been over these fairgrounds three, maybe four times, and I've found nothing. At this rate, I'm starting to think Shufflebump is actually in Hogsmeade, and will apparate onto the stage when their performance starts."
"So now what?"
"I'm afraid I am out of ideas," Lupin sighed. An owl from the post office had already been sent to Dumbledore, though they had yet to hear back and time was already running short.
Abruptly, a wizard working with a Sonorus charm announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, in one hour, will everyone please gather near the stage for our special anniversary concert, featuring none other than the legendary Shufflebump!"
Now since Shufflebump's performance had been kept secret from most everybody save for the festival organizers and Hogwarts faculty, this announcement was met with a rousing, thunderous cheer. And not being able to see what was going on, Malibu began shrieking, "Earthquake! Earthquake! Quick, Remus, hide under a doorframe."
"We're out in the open, you twit," Lupin said. "The nearest doorframe is a ten minute walk to Hogsmeade. And besides, that was a cheer, not a tremor."
"Gotcha. You know, this mistake wouldn't have happened if someone had not stuffed me into his jacket pocket."
Lupin opened his coat and glared down at Malibu. "There's a silversmith right next to us, Malibu. Don't tempt me. What I don't understand," he added, "is why it took you two and a half days before you transformed into a bat and escaped."
Malibu let out a nervous laugh. "Oooh, that. Well, I just got on such a roll thanks to that Veritasum that McNair gave me, I forgot about doing that earlier."
"It's amazing you ever survived past the sixteenth century, you know that?" Lupin sighed, resuming his walk around the fairgrounds. "Well, at least I can rest easy knowing you didn't go spilling some great secret to the Death Eaters, like how Cadbury gets the caramilk into their Caramilk bars."
Malibu managed a nervous laugh. "Um…about that. It wasn't, like, really imperative that it stays a secret…right?"
"You told them the Caramilk secret?" Lupin groaned. "You might as well have broadcasted it across the Muggle news, Malibu. The Ministry is going to pitch a fit! I can't believe you let that slip."
At that, Malibu got rather huffy. "Well excuse me for being under the effects of Veritasum! You're just lucky I flew off before I told them about the time those naturalists tranquilized you while you were a werewolf, and you woke up the next morning the proud recipient of a tick bath and a homing tag."
"Shut up about that," Lupin said, his voice suddenly and uncharacteristically unpleasant.
"Right," Malibu agreed. "How long until sunset?"
"The crest is almost beneath the horizon line," Lupin answered. He scanned the crowds, but no familiar faces jumped out at him. "After that, all direct sunlight will be gone."
"What's the plan then?"
Lupin grimaced. "I'll let you know when I've figured that out."
* * *
Ginny's heart nearly jumped right through her ribs when she heard the announcement of Shufflebump's impending performance. Given the look on Harry's face, it was evident he had no idea who Shufflebump was, or even really cared. Ginny wondered if the rumours about the band's tendency to bring couples together in eternal love were true.
Or for that matter, was bringing Harry into this a good idea? Ginny suddenly had reservations, second thoughts about whether or not whatever she and Harry might experience (blush!) because of the concert would be true love.
However, that thought was abruptly driven from her mind as Fred and George happened to let loose a volley of exploding snaps from the statue of a dragon. Needless to say, when an otherwise inanimate statue starts spouting fire, the children who shriek and run from it tend to be outpaced by their shrieking and running parents.
Ginny was struck from behind by a panicked old hag, and sent toppling right into Harry. The two collided and Harry tumbled backwards onto the ground, Ginny falling on his chest. Once they caught their breaths and opened their eyes, the two started blushing furiously.
"A-Are you okay?" Harry stammered.
Ginny silently nodded.
Neither one moved for quite some time, and all that could be heard was the blood rushing to their already bright red ears. And somewhere off in the far distance, there was the sound of reader subsequently gagging on the WAFF levels in this particular scene. This was immediately followed by the author siccing a Hungarian Horntail to devour said reader.
So…anyone else have a problem with the saccharine this scene?
Anyhoo, eventually Ginny and Harry got up and awkwardly stared at each other, wondering just what to do next. Then, as if being pulled closer together by invisible strings of destiny, they slowly drew closer together. Their hands became clasped. Harry tipped his head down closer to Ginny's lips. Ginny closed her eyes and tried to ignore the fierce pounding of her heart.
(BLUSHBLUSHBLUSHBLUSH!!!!)
Then, right when their lips were on the verge of connecting and creating a passionate kiss, the Muse of Magical Fanfiction showed up in the author's room and stated that he was contractually obligated to have any sort of scene with such romantic tension be interrupted. Not about to argue with a dwarf in a Sugar Plum Fairy tutu and brandishing a sword for a magical wand, the author complied.
And that is why Ron and Hermione just happened to stumble across Harry and Ginny at that exact moment. "Hey, Harry!" Ron called out, seeing only Harry's back. "Isn't this a great festival?"
Harry jerked his head back, surprised and flustered all at once. Ginny was torn between stomping her older brother into the ground, and passing out from knowing that Harry had been *that* close to kissing her! (BLUSH!!!)
And appeased with the contractual obligatory interruption, the nice, psychotic Magical Muse dwarf in the tutu left the author alone.
Moving right along, Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione spent a few breathless minutes catching up on how everyone had spent their afternoon. Hermione grumped about having to drag Ron from the Veela in the kissing booth, and Ron protested that it wasn't entirely his fault for being bewitched. Ginny told them about Snape getting the massage, and succeeded rather well at not blushing every time she glanced over at Harry. Harry meanwhile related the "Niffler in Draco's pants" incident, and Ron especially couldn't stop laughing for a solid two minutes.
"Hey, do you guys know what the big deal about this band they announced?" he asked Ron and Hermione. "Everyone else seemed to be pretty enthused about them."
"Oh, you mean Shufflebump?" Ron remarked, chewing on a chocolate frog. "Not sure, really. I think they were big in my Mum and Dad's time. Dress up like strange dolls in ruffles and lace don't they? Apparently the lead singer can belt out those love ballads."
Hermione could only shrug. "I've never really studied the pop or music culture of the magical realms myself. I have no idea who they are one way or the other. Does anyone here want to go see them perform?"
Before she could figure out what had happened, Ginny blurted out, "Yes!"
Harry, Ron and Hermione looked down at Ginny, somewhat surprised.
"I didn't know you were a Shufflebump fan, Ginny," Ron said.
Ginny knew her cheeks had to be the same colour as her hair now. She hadn't quite expected to be that enthusiastic about seeing the group…though for very different reasons than everyone else.
"If she's all for it, so am I," Harry offered. He gave Ginny a reassuring smile, then looked at Ron & Hermione. "What about you two?"
Ron shrugged, while Hermione agreed, "Why not? We should get moving towards the stage, then. I think the performing field's getting crowded already. Everyone else wants good a vantage point."
"Wonder if anyone's going to bodysurf," Harry wondered aloud as the four headed for the stage. Ron and Ginny gave him funny looks. "I saw it on television once. Give me a minute, I'll try to explain…."
[End of Chapter the Third.]
Obligatory Disclaimer bit: Harry Potter and all its related characters, spells, locations animals, monsters, et all, carpe diem and ipso facto are the property of J.K. Rowling, and should thusly be credited to her. With the exception of Malibu the vampire; I'm not sure anyone would want to take credit for bringing him into this world….
METMA Mandy and her challenge comes courtesy of the letters H, P, and the number 28. Check out her website at: www.geocities.com/metmamandy/ and see why magic and magical girls were not meant to be spliced together in ill- begotten crossovers.
Comments, praises, bribes or Howlers can be owl-mailed to: hislordshipchaos@hotmail.com
His lordship Chaos presents:
BLACK BAT STRUT
1 Chapter the Third: "Hey, look! This fic has a plot!"
Back at Hogwarts, the remaining weekdays before Saturday night's festival were a blur of classes, excitement and rampaging rumours for Ginny. Word of Harry asking her out to the Hogsmeade festival had spread faster than a strain of Butt-Belching Bumblewarts. Ever since, she had become both a much- beloved, envied and loathed celebrity.
All of her classmates were more giddy than she was, dreaming up all sorts of romantic scenarios that might get played out during the festival. Ron couldn't stop grinning. When she chanced upon Dumbledore in the corridor on Friday afternoon, he winked at her and said, "Be gentle with him, please. I do have plans on using him in the future." And when she asked Hermione for tips on kissing, after Hermione got over being tongue-tied for a few minutes, she gave all sorts of detailed histories and techniques on kissing, complete with fully-referenced footnotes and diagrams.
Draco, however, was thoroughly distraught that Harry chose Ginny over him, and made a point of sticking his tongue out at her every chance he could.
Malibu's disappearance wasn't on her mind very much, with everything else that was vying for her attention. In fact, while she did find herself missing him every now and again, it was a great relief for Ginny in not having to worry about him. Besides, he was the one who had left, so it was all on his shoulders. Yes, that's exactly what it was. So there was no need to worry about Malibu at all, not when she had to worry about what she would be wearing for when she went to the festival arm in arm with…Harry!!
(blushblushblushblushblush!!!)
Even still….
"I wonder what he's doing right now," Ginny quietly said to herself Friday night as she stared out one of the windows in the Gryffindor girls' dorm. She pillowed her head on her arms and leaned on the windowsill. "I hope he's all right…."
* * *
However, in truth Ginny had really nothing to fear, for Malibu had spent the past two and a half days…well, telling everything. And we do mean everything: every single little impressively, magnificently useless fact he had ever collected from his centuries of life experience. McNair and Kitkat were give excessively detailed accounts of Malibu's time working as a bodyguard during a secret celebrity boxing match between the Loch Ness monster and the Ogopogo; of how Malibu accidentally broke the arms of the Venus de Milo one night when he was rummaging through a Florentine art studio for a snack; of when Malibu was paid to help a wizard in casting a popularity spell for some singing group called the Spice Girls; and so forth.
In fact, McNair was so fascinated by Malibu's relentless story-telling that he had completely forgotten about the whole 'torture' part of the interrogation.
"…and that is the real secret of how they get the caramilk into a Caramilk bar," Malibu finished.
McNair boggled. "You're serious? And here I thought it was some fancy part of the Muggle's chocolate manufacturing process."
Malibu shook his head. "Nope, it's all magic. Caramilk's got some temple filled with about three hundred Chinese monks personally apparating the caramilk into each and every Caramilk bar. It's quite the operation they have there. Say, you wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?"
Still bemused about the Cadbury's Caramilk secret, McNair pulled out a pocketwatch which had the large hand on the verge of pointing to 'time to implement evil plan'. "Um, it's almost time to implement our evil plan," he announced.
"Ah, thank you." With that, Malibu turned into a bat, and given his suddenly small size, the ropes tumbled to the floor, unable to hold him. "Now if you'll excuse me, I must be going now."
"Wh-What?" McNair exclaimed, jumping out from his own chair. "Since when could you transform into a bat?!"
"All vampires can," Malibu the bat replied as he flapped over McNair's head.
"I knew I had forgotten something when I prepared for this torture session," McNair muttered to himself. He quickly ducked as Malibu flew over his head towards the exit. "Hey, you can't escape yet, vampire! The interrogation's not over!"
Malibu the bat stuck his tongue out and raspberried McNair. "Tu madre!"
"You're not out of the dungeon yet," McNair said. "Kitkat, get that furry flying rodent and permanently ground him!"
However, since he had never been particularly interested in the conversation topic to begin with, Kitkat had long since fallen asleep, and not even poking him in the bellybutton with a wand tip could wake the hulking assistant up in time.
McNair roared as he saw Malibu fly out from the dungeon to freedom. He glared at Kitkat and hissed, "Useless lug! I should have hired your brother, Almond Joy, instead!"
McNair then kicked KitKat in the shins. This wasn't entire a good thing, since Kitkat had fallen asleep while standing up against the dungeon wall. Upon being kicked, Kitkat's entire body shook, then came crashing down right on top of McNair. There was just enough time for McNair's eyes to grow really really big…right before he was squished beneath the immense, sleeping henchman.
At the risk of stating the obvious, McNair will not be featured any longer in this fic due to being rendered two-dimensional. (Though critics of this story would argue his character was two-dimensional to begin with anyways, but who listens to them?)
* * *
Saturday morning crept slowly across Hogwarts, mainly because it was still recovering from the hangover Friday had left it with. While most of the students at Hogwarts wouldn't be up for a few hours yet, Hogsmeade had been bustling with activity all night. Witches and wizards had been arriving non- stop for the past few days, and every single inn and bed & breakfast was filled. Many had taken to setting up small campsites on the outskirts of the village, which was in fact closer to where the festival was going to take place.
Even at mid-morning, the streets were crowded, and the restaurants were even worse. Which was exactly why Remus Lupin had opted to order room service and have a late breakfast delivered upstairs. It also allowed Sirius to have a decent meal as a human, without some witch shrieking in terror over recognizing his somewhat "wanted dead or alive—though preferably dead" face.
"Look at them all," Sirius remarked, sitting on a chair and looking out their open hotel room window. "You'd think it was another Quidditch World Cup."
"Get away from there," Lupin said. He was busy getting himself suited up for the day. "The last thing either of us need is someone seeing your face in the window, and notifying the Ministry."
Sirius snorted. "Please. Everyone's too busy to look up at me."
With a sigh, Lupin conceded and allowed Sirius to recline. It was fortunate that Sirius could transform into a dog; not only could he patrol the town in that form, but it also gave him hours outside of their cramped hotel room. Having been a fellow student boarding with Sirius, Lupin could attest to how easily Sirius would get what the Muggles referred to as "cabin fever". That tended to be one of the reasons why he, and the four of them back in the day got into so much mischief.
A witch came up to deliver their breakfast, and fortunately had the decency to knock before she entered. When she did, she saw Lupin and a playful black dog awaiting her. Sirius' presence as a dog did help explain why Lupin always ordered two meals, and had asked for a room with two single beds.
Sirius, or "Snuffles" as he was known to the rest of the inn (Lupin didn't want to ask just how Sirius' canine form had acquired that name), got a pet on the head and an extra doggy treat before the witch-maid left.
"You know," Sirius remarked, transforming back into his human self and returning to his chair by the window. He began to bite into the bone-shaped biscuit. "These dog treats of theirs are frighteningly addictive."
"I can imagine," Lupin absently agreed as he sat down on the edge of his bed and began to eat his meal.
Sirius noted the preoccupied expression on Lupin's face. "Still worried about him, aren't you?"
"Malibu tends to be an idiot savant most of the time, yes, but he's never been one to shirk his duties," Lupin said. "The fact that we haven't seen or heard anything from him since that night in the Three Broomsticks concerns me."
"Think there might be something going down at the festival after all?"
Lupin nodded. "The possibility of that has increased, definitely. But without further evidence or leads, we're stuck here."
"Well, might as well not let it spoil the day or our appetite," Sirius said. "Hand me my bacon and eggs, will you?"
Basking in the sunlight pouring down through the open window, the two enjoyed their quiet breakfast. Then most unexpectedly, a small bat, smoking and on the verge of exploding into a pile of ash, crashed right into Lupin's bowl of porridge. Lupin dipped a spoon into his now-ruined porridge and hoisted the bedraggled Malibu out.
One look at the feckless vampire bat prompted Sirius to ask, "What the hell happened to you?"
Malibu blinked a few times, wiped some porridge from his face and replied, "It's a long story, so don't ask; I don't think the Veritasum's out of my system yet. Hey, this is good porridge! Think you can order up another bowl for me, except switch the milk with some chilled AB Positive?"
* * *
Ginny was amazed that she had been able to sleep at all Friday night. The Gryffindor common room had become host to yet another spectacular party, which only ended when Professor McGonagall showed up at 4am and stated in no uncertain terms that some people in the castle were trying to sleep. She had also added something the dead quite literally being woken up by the ruckus, and about how the noise was scaring all the dank, nasty things in the Forbidden Forest.
Naturally, after such a late-night celebration, barely anyone was conscious let alone coherent by lunchtime. However, the prospects of attending the Hogsmeade festival and then sleeping in for all of Sunday drove many students out of their warm beds and into the showers.
Ginny could hardly keep her lunch down, which for her was a small helping of buttered bread and a bowl of soup. Her stomach was doing flip-flops, her heart pounding ferociously whenever she glanced down the table and saw Harry (blush!) trying to keep from falling asleep in his salad. She managed to catch his eye, and he smiled and waved at her. Much blushing abounded, plus a playful elbow in her ribs from Seamus.
It was easy to see which students were third-years and above, and not merely because of their generally larger size. Everyone who could attend the festival at Hogsmeade were quick to devour their lunch and dart out to get ready and leave as soon as possible. The festival had been in full swing since Friday, but this was their only day to attend.
Ginny herself was blur of red hair and autumn dresses as she scrambled to primp. She wanted to look her best for Harry (blush!!!), especially since this was their first date.
(Trynottofaint! Trynottofaint! Trynottofaint!)
After an hour of frantic deliberation, second thoughts, countless doubts and dozens of encouragements from the other Gryffindor girls also getting ready, Ginny practically floated down into the common room. Her red hair had been combed out, one small section braided with a little silver bell hanging on the end, and Hermione had performed a shimmer charm that made it look as if Ginny's hair were like rippling waves of fiery water that changed hues whenever she tuned her head.
She certainly did manage to turn a few heads in the common room too. Harry, standing there in his dress robes, was left speechless. Ginny blushed and did a full turn, letting him see her dress. It was nothing fancy, and was covered mostly by her Hogwarts school robes, but Harry didn't seem to care all that much.
Just before Harry approached Ginny to escourt her to Hogsmeade, Ron placed a hand on Harry shoulder and in a very brotherly voice said quietly to Harry, "Get fresh with my little sister, and I'm going to take a golden snitch and shove it right up your—"
Moving right along, Harry and Ginny (arm in arm, and both trying to act like they knew what they were doing) joined a large group of Gryffnidors heading out to Hogsmeade. A large ferry, which made round trips every hour, was waiting to take them across the lake.
Ginny couldn't help but cling tenaciously to Harry's arm as they stood by the railing and looked down at the sparkling water. At first it was just out of sheer affection, where she was somewhat afraid that if she let go, he'd vanish. Then she really did cling tenaciously to him because the giant squid had decided to drag race the ferry, and it was all she could do to keep from being picked up by the wind and sent soaring across the lake.
"Well, that was certainly an adventure," George remarked as they disembarked. "Who'd have thought the squid would have had that last burst of adrenaline and overtake the ferry."
He glanced over her shoulder, where a somewhat drenched Ron was sulking mightily. "Oh come on, it's not like you're the first person who's had an entire bed of sea kelp hit him in the face."
"I still think you're cute," Hermione said, giving Ron a peck on the cheek. She wound up kissing a stunned kelp crab instead.
Not that the kelp crab protested, mind you.
Ginny continued to keep her arms wrapped around Harry's as the entourage walked the to Hogsmeade. They could hear the noise of the festival from the docks. Very soon they were able to see what all the commotion was about.
The road leading into the village had been transformed into an enormous open market and fairground. What awaited everyone was a labyrinth whose walls were comprised of side-by-side merchandise stands, concessions, game booths, and rides. At the far end of the grounds was a spectacular raised dais meant for the evening's concert performances.
At this point, it was every Hogwarts student for themselves, and most of the larger groups splintered into singles or pairs as everyone raced around. Ginny and Harry visited countless stalls selling food and sweets, and Harry blew away the competition at a Quidditch broom race. He also blew away the top to a private tent he passed over, which revealed Snape getting his back massaged by a Veela.
Snape immediately handed out demerit points to anyone who happened to be in sight…regardless of whether or not they were students. But lucky for Harry, he was able to hide behind a large inflatable troll and avoid getting caught.
Afterwards, he and Ginny visited petting zoo filled with small, cute and cuddly magical beasts amusing many a young child. And it also served to amuse many a nearby Hogwarts student when Draco tried to steal Harry away to a kissing booth, and Harry stuffed a sickle down Draco's robes…followed by a hyper-active Niffler.
On more than one occasion, Harry was besieged with ecstatic kids wanting his autograph. A number asked for Ginny's autograph too, when they found out he was her "girlfriend". (BLUSH!!)
It came as a bit of a surprise for Ginny when one minute the skies were clear and blue, and the next they were a deep violet and stippled with the reds and oranges of a setting sun. Had the afternoon passed by so quickly already?
Ginny looked up and saw Harry grinning and laughing at some wizard mimes pretending to be Muggles pretending to be magicians. She smiled to herself and blushed again. Regardless of how fast the day was going, she would never forget it.
Ginny was having so much fun at the festival and so much fun being with Harry, that the last thing on her mind was wondering if in fact this all might be some diabolical ruse being concocted by Can-You-Guess-Who? Likewise, far from her thoughts was the notion that Hogwarts' only hope rested in a wanted Animagus, a werewolf, and a vampire. Which is probably just as well; she might have just surrendered to the Dark Side after thinking about that last part.
* * *
"You know," Malibu the vampire bat said, tucked inside Lupin's inner jacket pocket. "I wouldn't have thrown up back there if you didn't walk so jerkily, Remus."
"And whose fault is it for ordering two bowls of blood and porridge this morning?" Lupin retorted evenly.
For as much as Lupin had wanted all three of them to split up and search the festival separately, that was impossible for Malibu. Not until sunset, at least. So for the time being Malibu had to be content as a bat, stuffed into a pocket where the sunlight couldn't turn him into an impressive display of spontaneous combustion.
Currently Sirius (posing as "Snuffles") was out on his own, busy trying to sniff out Harry. If Harry saw Snuffles, he would at least know something was wrong, and that would give them one extra ally.
"Have you found where Shufflebump's dressing rooms are yet?" came Malibu's voice.
Lupin shook his head. "I think we've been over these fairgrounds three, maybe four times, and I've found nothing. At this rate, I'm starting to think Shufflebump is actually in Hogsmeade, and will apparate onto the stage when their performance starts."
"So now what?"
"I'm afraid I am out of ideas," Lupin sighed. An owl from the post office had already been sent to Dumbledore, though they had yet to hear back and time was already running short.
Abruptly, a wizard working with a Sonorus charm announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, in one hour, will everyone please gather near the stage for our special anniversary concert, featuring none other than the legendary Shufflebump!"
Now since Shufflebump's performance had been kept secret from most everybody save for the festival organizers and Hogwarts faculty, this announcement was met with a rousing, thunderous cheer. And not being able to see what was going on, Malibu began shrieking, "Earthquake! Earthquake! Quick, Remus, hide under a doorframe."
"We're out in the open, you twit," Lupin said. "The nearest doorframe is a ten minute walk to Hogsmeade. And besides, that was a cheer, not a tremor."
"Gotcha. You know, this mistake wouldn't have happened if someone had not stuffed me into his jacket pocket."
Lupin opened his coat and glared down at Malibu. "There's a silversmith right next to us, Malibu. Don't tempt me. What I don't understand," he added, "is why it took you two and a half days before you transformed into a bat and escaped."
Malibu let out a nervous laugh. "Oooh, that. Well, I just got on such a roll thanks to that Veritasum that McNair gave me, I forgot about doing that earlier."
"It's amazing you ever survived past the sixteenth century, you know that?" Lupin sighed, resuming his walk around the fairgrounds. "Well, at least I can rest easy knowing you didn't go spilling some great secret to the Death Eaters, like how Cadbury gets the caramilk into their Caramilk bars."
Malibu managed a nervous laugh. "Um…about that. It wasn't, like, really imperative that it stays a secret…right?"
"You told them the Caramilk secret?" Lupin groaned. "You might as well have broadcasted it across the Muggle news, Malibu. The Ministry is going to pitch a fit! I can't believe you let that slip."
At that, Malibu got rather huffy. "Well excuse me for being under the effects of Veritasum! You're just lucky I flew off before I told them about the time those naturalists tranquilized you while you were a werewolf, and you woke up the next morning the proud recipient of a tick bath and a homing tag."
"Shut up about that," Lupin said, his voice suddenly and uncharacteristically unpleasant.
"Right," Malibu agreed. "How long until sunset?"
"The crest is almost beneath the horizon line," Lupin answered. He scanned the crowds, but no familiar faces jumped out at him. "After that, all direct sunlight will be gone."
"What's the plan then?"
Lupin grimaced. "I'll let you know when I've figured that out."
* * *
Ginny's heart nearly jumped right through her ribs when she heard the announcement of Shufflebump's impending performance. Given the look on Harry's face, it was evident he had no idea who Shufflebump was, or even really cared. Ginny wondered if the rumours about the band's tendency to bring couples together in eternal love were true.
Or for that matter, was bringing Harry into this a good idea? Ginny suddenly had reservations, second thoughts about whether or not whatever she and Harry might experience (blush!) because of the concert would be true love.
However, that thought was abruptly driven from her mind as Fred and George happened to let loose a volley of exploding snaps from the statue of a dragon. Needless to say, when an otherwise inanimate statue starts spouting fire, the children who shriek and run from it tend to be outpaced by their shrieking and running parents.
Ginny was struck from behind by a panicked old hag, and sent toppling right into Harry. The two collided and Harry tumbled backwards onto the ground, Ginny falling on his chest. Once they caught their breaths and opened their eyes, the two started blushing furiously.
"A-Are you okay?" Harry stammered.
Ginny silently nodded.
Neither one moved for quite some time, and all that could be heard was the blood rushing to their already bright red ears. And somewhere off in the far distance, there was the sound of reader subsequently gagging on the WAFF levels in this particular scene. This was immediately followed by the author siccing a Hungarian Horntail to devour said reader.
So…anyone else have a problem with the saccharine this scene?
Anyhoo, eventually Ginny and Harry got up and awkwardly stared at each other, wondering just what to do next. Then, as if being pulled closer together by invisible strings of destiny, they slowly drew closer together. Their hands became clasped. Harry tipped his head down closer to Ginny's lips. Ginny closed her eyes and tried to ignore the fierce pounding of her heart.
(BLUSHBLUSHBLUSHBLUSH!!!!)
Then, right when their lips were on the verge of connecting and creating a passionate kiss, the Muse of Magical Fanfiction showed up in the author's room and stated that he was contractually obligated to have any sort of scene with such romantic tension be interrupted. Not about to argue with a dwarf in a Sugar Plum Fairy tutu and brandishing a sword for a magical wand, the author complied.
And that is why Ron and Hermione just happened to stumble across Harry and Ginny at that exact moment. "Hey, Harry!" Ron called out, seeing only Harry's back. "Isn't this a great festival?"
Harry jerked his head back, surprised and flustered all at once. Ginny was torn between stomping her older brother into the ground, and passing out from knowing that Harry had been *that* close to kissing her! (BLUSH!!!)
And appeased with the contractual obligatory interruption, the nice, psychotic Magical Muse dwarf in the tutu left the author alone.
Moving right along, Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione spent a few breathless minutes catching up on how everyone had spent their afternoon. Hermione grumped about having to drag Ron from the Veela in the kissing booth, and Ron protested that it wasn't entirely his fault for being bewitched. Ginny told them about Snape getting the massage, and succeeded rather well at not blushing every time she glanced over at Harry. Harry meanwhile related the "Niffler in Draco's pants" incident, and Ron especially couldn't stop laughing for a solid two minutes.
"Hey, do you guys know what the big deal about this band they announced?" he asked Ron and Hermione. "Everyone else seemed to be pretty enthused about them."
"Oh, you mean Shufflebump?" Ron remarked, chewing on a chocolate frog. "Not sure, really. I think they were big in my Mum and Dad's time. Dress up like strange dolls in ruffles and lace don't they? Apparently the lead singer can belt out those love ballads."
Hermione could only shrug. "I've never really studied the pop or music culture of the magical realms myself. I have no idea who they are one way or the other. Does anyone here want to go see them perform?"
Before she could figure out what had happened, Ginny blurted out, "Yes!"
Harry, Ron and Hermione looked down at Ginny, somewhat surprised.
"I didn't know you were a Shufflebump fan, Ginny," Ron said.
Ginny knew her cheeks had to be the same colour as her hair now. She hadn't quite expected to be that enthusiastic about seeing the group…though for very different reasons than everyone else.
"If she's all for it, so am I," Harry offered. He gave Ginny a reassuring smile, then looked at Ron & Hermione. "What about you two?"
Ron shrugged, while Hermione agreed, "Why not? We should get moving towards the stage, then. I think the performing field's getting crowded already. Everyone else wants good a vantage point."
"Wonder if anyone's going to bodysurf," Harry wondered aloud as the four headed for the stage. Ron and Ginny gave him funny looks. "I saw it on television once. Give me a minute, I'll try to explain…."
[End of Chapter the Third.]
Obligatory Disclaimer bit: Harry Potter and all its related characters, spells, locations animals, monsters, et all, carpe diem and ipso facto are the property of J.K. Rowling, and should thusly be credited to her. With the exception of Malibu the vampire; I'm not sure anyone would want to take credit for bringing him into this world….
METMA Mandy and her challenge comes courtesy of the letters H, P, and the number 28. Check out her website at: www.geocities.com/metmamandy/ and see why magic and magical girls were not meant to be spliced together in ill- begotten crossovers.
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