Legend of Dragoon: Weakest Link Celebrity Edition
by DiamondClaw, 4/2/01
LEGAL STUFF:
I do not own LoD, Sony, NBC, The Weakest Link, or anything I forget to mention. I do, however, own six copies of the same Sailor Jupiter picture.
(The theme music plays again, and the camera pans back to Anne.)
Anne: Welcome back to....The Weakest Link! In the last round, our contestants only managed to bank a pathetic 2,500 GP. That won't even put Dart through a community college. Now, let's play....The Weakest Link!
Dart: Excuse me, but aren't I smarter than you are? I don't have to read questions off of cards!
AR: I'll forget you said that. Ten seconds off the clock, and let's begin with Shana. Shana, who can throw you helluva far?
Shana: Uh....Earl?
AR: Incorrect, the correct answer was Mr. T. Albert, true or false, there are rings around Uranus?
Albert: False.
AR: Incorrect, I wasn't talking about the planet. Kongol, Drew Carey is more popular than me.
Kongol: You not ask question.
AR: Correct. Photorealistic beaver...
PB: (squeaks)
AR: Correct, but wait for me to ask the question next time. Dart, boxers or briefs?
Dart: Hanes?
AR: Correct. Shana...
Shana: Bank. (5,000 GP accumulated)
AR: What disorder is characterized by a fear to eat?
Shana: Anorexia.
AR: Correct, and I add that you need to get checked for that. Albert, who's more of a bitch, me or Barbara Walters?
Albert: You, oh your Royal Bitchiness.
AR: Correct, and my title is Duchess of Bitch. Photorealistic Beaver, what noise does a beaver make?
PB: (squeaks)
AR: Correct.
Kongol: What about me?
AR: Shut up.
Dart: You give him easy ones! No fair!
AR: Dart, why do you whine about the fact that Photorealistic Beaver is smarter than you?
Dart: He's not!
AR: Incorrect, the answer is 63. Shana....(buzzer rings in) Our time is up, I cannot complete the question, but the answer is 'Sweet Sweet Candy'. Now, in that round, you manage to bank 5,000 GP, barely enough to cover plane fare for one of you. Now, who is several GP short of a Phantom Shield? Lock your votes in...now. (twenty seconds pass)
Dart: Beaver.
Shana: Dart.
Albert: Kongol.
Kongol: Albert.
PB: (squeaks)
AR: Since you all could not muster your pitiful brainpower to vote off one person, Albert is gone. Just because I am the omnipotent host. And now, some Cossack dancing! (gets up on the podium and starts dancing like a Cossack again)
(Albert walks off.)
(backstage)
Albert: Just wait until I get that photorealistic beaver. I swear, he must have SLEPT with her to not get voted off!
(onstage)
Anne: Who is several Dragoon Levels away from a special transform? Find out when we return to....The Weakest Link!!!
(cut to a commercial.)
(Author's note: What didja think of that? I think I'll make it so that reviews have some kind of affect on who gets voted off. I know Anne should lose, but without a satanic host, it just doesn't work. Ciao for now, round three coming soon!)
by DiamondClaw, 4/2/01
LEGAL STUFF:
I do not own LoD, Sony, NBC, The Weakest Link, or anything I forget to mention. I do, however, own six copies of the same Sailor Jupiter picture.
(The theme music plays again, and the camera pans back to Anne.)
Anne: Welcome back to....The Weakest Link! In the last round, our contestants only managed to bank a pathetic 2,500 GP. That won't even put Dart through a community college. Now, let's play....The Weakest Link!
Dart: Excuse me, but aren't I smarter than you are? I don't have to read questions off of cards!
AR: I'll forget you said that. Ten seconds off the clock, and let's begin with Shana. Shana, who can throw you helluva far?
Shana: Uh....Earl?
AR: Incorrect, the correct answer was Mr. T. Albert, true or false, there are rings around Uranus?
Albert: False.
AR: Incorrect, I wasn't talking about the planet. Kongol, Drew Carey is more popular than me.
Kongol: You not ask question.
AR: Correct. Photorealistic beaver...
PB: (squeaks)
AR: Correct, but wait for me to ask the question next time. Dart, boxers or briefs?
Dart: Hanes?
AR: Correct. Shana...
Shana: Bank. (5,000 GP accumulated)
AR: What disorder is characterized by a fear to eat?
Shana: Anorexia.
AR: Correct, and I add that you need to get checked for that. Albert, who's more of a bitch, me or Barbara Walters?
Albert: You, oh your Royal Bitchiness.
AR: Correct, and my title is Duchess of Bitch. Photorealistic Beaver, what noise does a beaver make?
PB: (squeaks)
AR: Correct.
Kongol: What about me?
AR: Shut up.
Dart: You give him easy ones! No fair!
AR: Dart, why do you whine about the fact that Photorealistic Beaver is smarter than you?
Dart: He's not!
AR: Incorrect, the answer is 63. Shana....(buzzer rings in) Our time is up, I cannot complete the question, but the answer is 'Sweet Sweet Candy'. Now, in that round, you manage to bank 5,000 GP, barely enough to cover plane fare for one of you. Now, who is several GP short of a Phantom Shield? Lock your votes in...now. (twenty seconds pass)
Dart: Beaver.
Shana: Dart.
Albert: Kongol.
Kongol: Albert.
PB: (squeaks)
AR: Since you all could not muster your pitiful brainpower to vote off one person, Albert is gone. Just because I am the omnipotent host. And now, some Cossack dancing! (gets up on the podium and starts dancing like a Cossack again)
(Albert walks off.)
(backstage)
Albert: Just wait until I get that photorealistic beaver. I swear, he must have SLEPT with her to not get voted off!
(onstage)
Anne: Who is several Dragoon Levels away from a special transform? Find out when we return to....The Weakest Link!!!
(cut to a commercial.)
(Author's note: What didja think of that? I think I'll make it so that reviews have some kind of affect on who gets voted off. I know Anne should lose, but without a satanic host, it just doesn't work. Ciao for now, round three coming soon!)