Takes place about two days after the last chapter. Thanks for all the quick
reviews… they definitely cured my writer's block! Hope you like this next
chapter as much…
~*~*~*~
Chandler opened his eyes, but was unable to see anything. He looked all around him and there was nothing but darkness… he moved his hand over to feel for something, anything, and when he felt rumpled sheets he realized he was in his bed. Turning over, he reached out for Monica… but there was nothing. He stood up, and began to search the room, then the entire apartment for her. She wasn't there. It was then that he realized he wasn't in their apartment, but rather his old one.
"What the hell?" he asked no one in particular. Then he remembered… he'd moved. After the accident, he couldn't stand being alone in that apartment anymore. As he sat down on the couch, everything came back to him in a rush…
The emergency operator telling him to stay calm… Monica crying on the floor… him getting too anxious to wait for the ambulance… trying to find his way to the hospital through all the rain and lightning… not stopping for the whirling lights and sirens of the ambulances trying to pass. Crashing. The broken glass… the blood that he only wished was his own, and not Monica's.
He opened his eyes and sighed, trying to stop the tears from coming. But he couldn't. She'd been killed instantly. According to the doctor, she'd been in such a weak physical condition because of the miscarriage that her body couldn't handle any more stress or pain. So just like that, she was gone.
~*~*~*~
He awoke with a start, his heart pounding and his breath quick. Glancing over at Monica, he realized that he'd only been dreaming. How much of it had been a dream, he didn't know, and could only hope. But when he looked around to find himself in a chair next to Monica's hospital bed, he figured that the miscarriage, and maybe even the accident had been real. He reached out for her, touching her hand and stroking her arm.
Her eyes opened slowly, and she looked at him with a sad smile. Breathing a sigh that was a mixture of pain and relief, he kissed her cheek, brushing the hair out of her eyes. She was still there, still with him.
"How are you?" he asked her quietly, not wanting to break the almost transfixing silence of the room. She shrugged.
"I don't know… I feel okay, no pain or anything. Well, physically anyway," she told him with sorrow in her eyes. Wishing he could make it go away, or at least make her feel a little bit better, he did the only thing he could think to do. He crawled up onto her bed, putting his arms around her, and let her bury her head in his shoulder and cry.
~*~*~*~
"Well, Mrs. Bing, it looks like you're safe to go home now. We've done all of the tests, and you seem to be doing just fine. We're going to have to ask you to come back every couple of weeks for the next few months just for check ups, to make sure nothing's damaged permanently," the nurse went on, telling Monica everything that she'd already heard from the doctor just minutes before.
She was taken out to the car in a wheelchair, wishing she could get up and walk herself. She didn't like feeling like she was incapable of doing anything… like she needed Chandler and a nurse to do everything for her all the time. She sighed and pulled herself up and into the car, watching Chandler sit down in the driver's seat, with a puzzling look of what could only be described as fear as he started the car.
She ignored that look, assuming that it was just because of all that had happened. He was probably hurting as much as she was… or at least close to as much. He turned to her, opening his mouth as if to say something, but closing it just as quickly.
"Chandler, where's Madison?" The thought had just occurred to her. She knew she'd left him somewhere, but she wanted to know exactly where. She was relieved when he told her he'd left their daughter with Ross and Rachel. She was afraid he would've left her with Monica's parents, and she didn't want them to know about any of this yet. Granted she knew she'd have to tell them eventually, but she really couldn't deal with their pity right now.
~*~*~*~
"Monica, it's been almost two months," he'd told her when he found out she'd been sent home from work and to a therapist because she couldn't stop crying. "I know you're hurting, but I think it's time to move on," he tried to urge her.
"Chandler, it's not that easy, okay?" she told him with tears still in her eyes. "You know, sometimes you act like you don't understand. Do you realize that my life was perfect? I had a wonderful husband, I had a beautiful house, I had an incredible daughter, and I had another baby on the way," she said as she started crying again.
"No, Mon, you Bhave/B a wonderful husband, you Bhave/B a beautiful house, and you Bhave/B an incredible daughter. None of that's changed. We're all still here, and we all will be as long as you want us." He went over and brought her in his arms like he'd done so many times in the last two months.
"You're right, I'm sorry," she apologized. He hugged her tighter, telling her that she didn't need to say she was sorry. None of this was her fault, and he knew that. He just hated seeing her like this. She looked up at him then, and instead of tears in her eyes, all he saw was love. And just then, she did something he hadn't seen her do in nearly two months. She smiled.
~*~*~*~
Chandler opened his eyes, but was unable to see anything. He looked all around him and there was nothing but darkness… he moved his hand over to feel for something, anything, and when he felt rumpled sheets he realized he was in his bed. Turning over, he reached out for Monica… but there was nothing. He stood up, and began to search the room, then the entire apartment for her. She wasn't there. It was then that he realized he wasn't in their apartment, but rather his old one.
"What the hell?" he asked no one in particular. Then he remembered… he'd moved. After the accident, he couldn't stand being alone in that apartment anymore. As he sat down on the couch, everything came back to him in a rush…
The emergency operator telling him to stay calm… Monica crying on the floor… him getting too anxious to wait for the ambulance… trying to find his way to the hospital through all the rain and lightning… not stopping for the whirling lights and sirens of the ambulances trying to pass. Crashing. The broken glass… the blood that he only wished was his own, and not Monica's.
He opened his eyes and sighed, trying to stop the tears from coming. But he couldn't. She'd been killed instantly. According to the doctor, she'd been in such a weak physical condition because of the miscarriage that her body couldn't handle any more stress or pain. So just like that, she was gone.
~*~*~*~
He awoke with a start, his heart pounding and his breath quick. Glancing over at Monica, he realized that he'd only been dreaming. How much of it had been a dream, he didn't know, and could only hope. But when he looked around to find himself in a chair next to Monica's hospital bed, he figured that the miscarriage, and maybe even the accident had been real. He reached out for her, touching her hand and stroking her arm.
Her eyes opened slowly, and she looked at him with a sad smile. Breathing a sigh that was a mixture of pain and relief, he kissed her cheek, brushing the hair out of her eyes. She was still there, still with him.
"How are you?" he asked her quietly, not wanting to break the almost transfixing silence of the room. She shrugged.
"I don't know… I feel okay, no pain or anything. Well, physically anyway," she told him with sorrow in her eyes. Wishing he could make it go away, or at least make her feel a little bit better, he did the only thing he could think to do. He crawled up onto her bed, putting his arms around her, and let her bury her head in his shoulder and cry.
~*~*~*~
"Well, Mrs. Bing, it looks like you're safe to go home now. We've done all of the tests, and you seem to be doing just fine. We're going to have to ask you to come back every couple of weeks for the next few months just for check ups, to make sure nothing's damaged permanently," the nurse went on, telling Monica everything that she'd already heard from the doctor just minutes before.
She was taken out to the car in a wheelchair, wishing she could get up and walk herself. She didn't like feeling like she was incapable of doing anything… like she needed Chandler and a nurse to do everything for her all the time. She sighed and pulled herself up and into the car, watching Chandler sit down in the driver's seat, with a puzzling look of what could only be described as fear as he started the car.
She ignored that look, assuming that it was just because of all that had happened. He was probably hurting as much as she was… or at least close to as much. He turned to her, opening his mouth as if to say something, but closing it just as quickly.
"Chandler, where's Madison?" The thought had just occurred to her. She knew she'd left him somewhere, but she wanted to know exactly where. She was relieved when he told her he'd left their daughter with Ross and Rachel. She was afraid he would've left her with Monica's parents, and she didn't want them to know about any of this yet. Granted she knew she'd have to tell them eventually, but she really couldn't deal with their pity right now.
~*~*~*~
"Monica, it's been almost two months," he'd told her when he found out she'd been sent home from work and to a therapist because she couldn't stop crying. "I know you're hurting, but I think it's time to move on," he tried to urge her.
"Chandler, it's not that easy, okay?" she told him with tears still in her eyes. "You know, sometimes you act like you don't understand. Do you realize that my life was perfect? I had a wonderful husband, I had a beautiful house, I had an incredible daughter, and I had another baby on the way," she said as she started crying again.
"No, Mon, you Bhave/B a wonderful husband, you Bhave/B a beautiful house, and you Bhave/B an incredible daughter. None of that's changed. We're all still here, and we all will be as long as you want us." He went over and brought her in his arms like he'd done so many times in the last two months.
"You're right, I'm sorry," she apologized. He hugged her tighter, telling her that she didn't need to say she was sorry. None of this was her fault, and he knew that. He just hated seeing her like this. She looked up at him then, and instead of tears in her eyes, all he saw was love. And just then, she did something he hadn't seen her do in nearly two months. She smiled.