Goodbye to You
Song by Michelle Branch
First off, Gomen Mina-chan here's been pretty stressed lately (Exams, EOCs, Interviews for Yearbook staff, Theater 2 try outs, homework, trying to understand Algebra...) that's why it's been forever since last update...Gomen EVERYONE ^^!
Another songfic! This is the Heero/Usagi one....Before I say anything else, I NEED you to KNOW that NONE of my songfics are connected. They all are short one shots.
Now...on with my notes, first of all this fic is well...very sad on my standards. I really have no clue where it's coming from, I'm normally not a very sad, well Palace-chan would say differently, but anyways. The first song I had picked out for Heero and Usagi was happy! But...I couldn't think of a plot to save my life...and then here I was sitting at home and I thought of an idea, and SAD idea but a different one for me. So here it is.
Oh, a lot of scene changes and time changes...
-----*-----
Usagi sighed and silently smoothed her wedding dress, perfect. That's how it fit. Muttering to herself she moved to the cream colored chair and sat after arranging her skirt around her. Shivering a bit for the fact she had no sleeves on her dress and it was a bitter winter morning, slowly she picked up a small leather bound book, blank but for her words. After a moment she started to pen the hardest words in her life, the eerie quiet of dawn unfolding as she sat waiting.
-----*-----
Heero sat his arms crossed over his chest, his suit wrinkled a bit, and his face as cold as the day was. He didn't move as his own friends walked in the room, all in grays and blacks. He even glared as her friends walked in, even though he really believed them to be his own friends also. Minako was the last to enter, quickly she walked to Quatre and climbed into his lap, not the chair left out for her, she softly started sobbing, and Quatre just held her.
A moment later a tall skinny man with a over thoughtful look and a too stiff pinstripe suit. Clearing his throat everyone seem to slowly look at him, the men first, and then the women.
"Welcome, I must say I'm sorry you are all here..."
'His tone is fake and uncaring.' Heero thought and grunted. Rei at the same moment turned to glare at him as if saying, 'The same as your own.'
-----*-----
Giggling. Soft, joyful giggling. Heero smiled watching Usagi talk with her friend and then she squealed in delight, why? Makoto just asked her to her Maid of Honor. And slowly the smile fades as Makoto asks about If he's asked or not. The answer's a soft "No."
-----*-----
Heero shook his head quickly in the meeting, That very memory haunted him for weeks until he asked Usagi to marry him. He hated causing her pain...so...why did he drive her to this?
-----*-----
Usagi sighed shoving her sunglasses into her hair, "Why do I always get us lost?" she muttered to no one as she sat in the car a map on her lap trying to find the way to the airport. So she never went there, not her fault Ami asked her to pick her up.
Heero sighed from the driver's seat, annoyed. "Usa, let me look."
Silently she handed the map over, without a fight. "Hai...here." She mumbled.
"There it is..." Heero said tossing the map in the back seat, glancing at Usagi he noticed the hurt look, "What's wrong?" he asked quickly.
"Nothing...I would have found it."
"I know you would have."
"Then why didn't you let me?"
"Because I..." He trailed off knowing he really didn't think she would find it. "Because we need to get there soon." He lied, driving off.
-----*-----
Heero growled silently as the meeting went on. Why the hell was his memory attacking him with memories of every single pain he caused Usagi! Damnit, it killed him...but he deserved it...he killed her.
-----*-----
The man droned on, "And Mrs. Yuy said to make sure this got to Miss Aino." The stiff Lawyer said after the list of things Usagi had left.
Minako looked up. Whatever it was, she didn't want it. Usagi was dead, she couldn't be. She did not kill herself. But...she did. And there sitting in the pale long hand of Usagi's lawyer was an old leather bound book. Minako reached out to grab it, but before she touched it her hand recoiled as if burned, whimpering her curled up against Quatre again.
-----*-----
'That book.' Heero mind raced, 'Why the hell is Usagi leaving her journal to Minako?'
-----*-----
The lawyer set the book down in front of Minako and stood, "Thank you, once again I'm terribly sorry for your loss." He said stately and walked out of the room leaving nine people in grays and black to do one of two things, glare at Heero or cry.
-----*-----
"How could you?" It was Makoto's voice who broke the silence 10 minutes later.
"How could I what?" Heero said his voice freezing cold, an iceberg in temperature.
"Kill her damnit!" Makoto all but screamed. "It was your stupidity!"
"MY Stupidity! How dare you. I never touched her."
"She wanted your touch! She wanted you to be warm to her! Not a cold jackass!" Rei yelled back adding her opinion.
"She knew better, she knew I couldn't be warm. It's not my fault she loved me." Heero said back.
"But you married her." Makoto said tears filling her eyes.
"Yes I did." Heero said calmly.
"You married her and then told her you didn't love her! And what did she do? ODed by taking any drug she could get her hands on!" Rei yelled, causing everyone in the room to hush, no one had spoke of how Usagi died, it just hadn't been done.
"Not my fault."
"WHAT THE HELL!" Makoto screamed back driving for him.
"Enough." They all quickly turned to Minako who had opened that book she was given.
After a moment of silence she read slowly so they all could hear, " 'I'm sorry. I am, but I lived for love and without it I can't live. Please forgive me, and girls please don't kill Heero. It's not his fault he can't feel.' "
Minako stopped there, and then said softly, "There's also this like song in here...it's dated the date of Usagi's death."
" 'Of all the things I believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing
are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing I tried to hold on to
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day
Without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my
Thoughts away
To a place where
I am blinded by the light
But it's not right
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing I tried to hold on to
And it hurts to want everything and
Nothing at the same time
I want what's yours
And I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing I tried to hold on to
The one thing I tried to hold on to
And when the stars fall
I lie awake
You're my shooting star...' "
Minako finished reading and closed the book, no one looked at each other, so no one saw the tear fall from Heero's eye, as he mouthed to himself, "I'm sorry Usa, I'm sorry, I do love you. I'm sorry."
---------------------*-------------------
There it is. Sorry its sad...
But as always The e-mail's minakowinner04@hotmail.com
Song by Michelle Branch
First off, Gomen Mina-chan here's been pretty stressed lately (Exams, EOCs, Interviews for Yearbook staff, Theater 2 try outs, homework, trying to understand Algebra...) that's why it's been forever since last update...Gomen EVERYONE ^^!
Another songfic! This is the Heero/Usagi one....Before I say anything else, I NEED you to KNOW that NONE of my songfics are connected. They all are short one shots.
Now...on with my notes, first of all this fic is well...very sad on my standards. I really have no clue where it's coming from, I'm normally not a very sad, well Palace-chan would say differently, but anyways. The first song I had picked out for Heero and Usagi was happy! But...I couldn't think of a plot to save my life...and then here I was sitting at home and I thought of an idea, and SAD idea but a different one for me. So here it is.
Oh, a lot of scene changes and time changes...
-----*-----
Usagi sighed and silently smoothed her wedding dress, perfect. That's how it fit. Muttering to herself she moved to the cream colored chair and sat after arranging her skirt around her. Shivering a bit for the fact she had no sleeves on her dress and it was a bitter winter morning, slowly she picked up a small leather bound book, blank but for her words. After a moment she started to pen the hardest words in her life, the eerie quiet of dawn unfolding as she sat waiting.
-----*-----
Heero sat his arms crossed over his chest, his suit wrinkled a bit, and his face as cold as the day was. He didn't move as his own friends walked in the room, all in grays and blacks. He even glared as her friends walked in, even though he really believed them to be his own friends also. Minako was the last to enter, quickly she walked to Quatre and climbed into his lap, not the chair left out for her, she softly started sobbing, and Quatre just held her.
A moment later a tall skinny man with a over thoughtful look and a too stiff pinstripe suit. Clearing his throat everyone seem to slowly look at him, the men first, and then the women.
"Welcome, I must say I'm sorry you are all here..."
'His tone is fake and uncaring.' Heero thought and grunted. Rei at the same moment turned to glare at him as if saying, 'The same as your own.'
-----*-----
Giggling. Soft, joyful giggling. Heero smiled watching Usagi talk with her friend and then she squealed in delight, why? Makoto just asked her to her Maid of Honor. And slowly the smile fades as Makoto asks about If he's asked or not. The answer's a soft "No."
-----*-----
Heero shook his head quickly in the meeting, That very memory haunted him for weeks until he asked Usagi to marry him. He hated causing her pain...so...why did he drive her to this?
-----*-----
Usagi sighed shoving her sunglasses into her hair, "Why do I always get us lost?" she muttered to no one as she sat in the car a map on her lap trying to find the way to the airport. So she never went there, not her fault Ami asked her to pick her up.
Heero sighed from the driver's seat, annoyed. "Usa, let me look."
Silently she handed the map over, without a fight. "Hai...here." She mumbled.
"There it is..." Heero said tossing the map in the back seat, glancing at Usagi he noticed the hurt look, "What's wrong?" he asked quickly.
"Nothing...I would have found it."
"I know you would have."
"Then why didn't you let me?"
"Because I..." He trailed off knowing he really didn't think she would find it. "Because we need to get there soon." He lied, driving off.
-----*-----
Heero growled silently as the meeting went on. Why the hell was his memory attacking him with memories of every single pain he caused Usagi! Damnit, it killed him...but he deserved it...he killed her.
-----*-----
The man droned on, "And Mrs. Yuy said to make sure this got to Miss Aino." The stiff Lawyer said after the list of things Usagi had left.
Minako looked up. Whatever it was, she didn't want it. Usagi was dead, she couldn't be. She did not kill herself. But...she did. And there sitting in the pale long hand of Usagi's lawyer was an old leather bound book. Minako reached out to grab it, but before she touched it her hand recoiled as if burned, whimpering her curled up against Quatre again.
-----*-----
'That book.' Heero mind raced, 'Why the hell is Usagi leaving her journal to Minako?'
-----*-----
The lawyer set the book down in front of Minako and stood, "Thank you, once again I'm terribly sorry for your loss." He said stately and walked out of the room leaving nine people in grays and black to do one of two things, glare at Heero or cry.
-----*-----
"How could you?" It was Makoto's voice who broke the silence 10 minutes later.
"How could I what?" Heero said his voice freezing cold, an iceberg in temperature.
"Kill her damnit!" Makoto all but screamed. "It was your stupidity!"
"MY Stupidity! How dare you. I never touched her."
"She wanted your touch! She wanted you to be warm to her! Not a cold jackass!" Rei yelled back adding her opinion.
"She knew better, she knew I couldn't be warm. It's not my fault she loved me." Heero said back.
"But you married her." Makoto said tears filling her eyes.
"Yes I did." Heero said calmly.
"You married her and then told her you didn't love her! And what did she do? ODed by taking any drug she could get her hands on!" Rei yelled, causing everyone in the room to hush, no one had spoke of how Usagi died, it just hadn't been done.
"Not my fault."
"WHAT THE HELL!" Makoto screamed back driving for him.
"Enough." They all quickly turned to Minako who had opened that book she was given.
After a moment of silence she read slowly so they all could hear, " 'I'm sorry. I am, but I lived for love and without it I can't live. Please forgive me, and girls please don't kill Heero. It's not his fault he can't feel.' "
Minako stopped there, and then said softly, "There's also this like song in here...it's dated the date of Usagi's death."
" 'Of all the things I believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing
are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing I tried to hold on to
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day
Without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my
Thoughts away
To a place where
I am blinded by the light
But it's not right
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing I tried to hold on to
And it hurts to want everything and
Nothing at the same time
I want what's yours
And I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing I tried to hold on to
The one thing I tried to hold on to
And when the stars fall
I lie awake
You're my shooting star...' "
Minako finished reading and closed the book, no one looked at each other, so no one saw the tear fall from Heero's eye, as he mouthed to himself, "I'm sorry Usa, I'm sorry, I do love you. I'm sorry."
---------------------*-------------------
There it is. Sorry its sad...
But as always The e-mail's minakowinner04@hotmail.com