Title: I Wonder What They're Doing Now
Warnings: Er..stuff =D *blinks* Find out for yourself ¬¬
Disclaimer: I do not own the pilots or anything related to Gundam Wing ¬¬ *mumbles about injustice* If Duos Pikachu plushie or Heeros cat Shinigami were to suddenly appear somewhere in this fic, that is mine ^^
A/N: I would just like to say Thaaaaank Yooooou! to everyone who has read this fic (So far) ^_^ Glad I'm writing something which is of value to you ^.^ Because I'm enjoying this fic a lot. Here's the next chaaaapter, which is…well, a bit of a dream sequence (or death sequence, whichever you want to see it as)…Is he dead or not? Hm…good question… outcome is yet undecided. *Debates how to start next chapter*
A faint sound, like the flow of liquid, awakened him. It was almost too soft to be considered a sound, and so smooth. He could almost feel it. Blood.
/=/ I'm dead./=/ was the first thing that came to mind. But he'd expected the glorious gold gates of heaven, or perhaps the iron bars of hell, to tower up before him in superiority. When he opened his eyes, all that he could see before him was space. He blinked several times to adjust his eyes to the new viewpoint.
The sky was no longer limited by the solid blue-gray color it took normally. It was a mix of glace colors, pinks, yellows, greens, blues, a spectrum of faded blends. Light was coming from everywhere, but at the same time, it had no source. He was lying on his back, on something solid, watching the stillness above him.
Slowly, his fingers crept over the hard surface beneath him. It was cold, and smooth, like glass. Turning his head at an angle, he could see the floor was made up of many glass panes, all reflecting the atmosphere above. There was no end, nor a beginning. It was as if he was trapped on a glass plain between two explosions of color.
And it was so still. So quiet. Not even his breathing disturbed the silence. Even the usual ringing that occupies the ears wasn't there.
Bit by bit, he became aware of another change. His legs. They weren't immobile any more.
/=/ I have to be dead now then… No force on earth would have been able to get my legs back. /=/
He basked in the feeling of simply being able to know that his legs were functioning. That if he tried to, he'd be able to stand up. After a few endless minutes, what seemed longer than any time span on earth, he became aware of being somewhere…strange. He pushed himself up with ease. Looking down, he saw his well-toned muscular arms were there, healthy and strong. His skin didn't look ghostly and white, but was a light tan. It was the old days replayed.
The chain of glass panes stretched beyond his vision, yet there was no horizon. It all seemed to go on and on, without any ending. Still nothing had moved. The air didn't even churn when he moved his hand through it.
He was completely, and utterly, alone. And he didn't like it. He would admit, that it was too eerie. Too silent. Even Relena would be a welcome disturbance.
As if responding to his thoughts, the colors faded to a coal black. The panes of glass reflected it back, but their edges shone with luster. Still nothing moved, but Heero's eyes grew wider. Something had to have caused that. It couldn't have done so on it's own yet what would have?
"Heero."
/=/ What? Huh? /=/ He leapt to his feet and spun around. There was Quatre, not more than five meters from him. Dressed in his normal clothes, but these were tinged black and dull. And he was unnaturally pale. His eyes weren't joyful, either. Gray and dead, as if he wasn't there.
"Quatre?"
"Why didn't you visit?" came the bleak voice once again. Only the mouth moved. Nothing else changed with the words. Heero's eyes grew dark. Even in this place they came to torment him? Couldn't he for once be allowed existence without interference from emotion?
"You…I don't need you." He whispered in a deadly soft voice.
"Maybe you don't. Though I doubt that is true. But we need you."
The spiritual version of Quatre went silent once again. He looked straight through Heero, as if watching something behind him but a glance revealed nothing there.
"Leave me alone!" Heero charged at the figure, and swiped at it with his healthy arm. But the moment before impact, the target was gone. Quatre was no longer there.
"Heero." A deeper voice echoed from behind him. Trowas voice. Heero spun around to see the former green eyes of the Heavyarms pilot had died down to gray, just as Quatres had. This time, he said nothing. Trowa returned the silence, but watched him with a look that showed hurt. Reflected from Heero himself. Heero turned away for a brief second, and looked back to find this specter too, gone.
"Why?" The cold Chinese accented vocal sounded to his right. Wufei had his arms at his sides in a listless manner.
"Why WHAT Wufei?" Heero gave him a sickeningly furious stare. Wufei didn't budge.
"Why?" he asked again. This time, it echoed off an invisible barrier.
Why…why…why…
"I said LEAVE ME!" Heero shouted, clenching his fist. As soon as his eyes blinked, Wufei was gone too. Why what? Why did he push them away? Why did he hide behind a mask? Why did he pretend he had, and couldn't respond to, emotions? Why? The answer was too complex.
But… it wasn't.
It was so simple.
"Heero." the voice was so soft. It floated to Heero's ears and wrapped his senses in a cool blanket. He let his viewpoint wander to his left. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a silhouetted figure, hidden by an unseen shadow. A long braid swayed behind him, and a wind without a source tugged at his hair and clothes.
"Duo…" the words escaped him before he could stop them.
"Yeah. It's me." he sounded more human than the other pilots had. Almost as if it really WAS him. Duo took a few short slow steps towards Heero, pausing with every footfall. Heero was shivering as if it was twenty degrees below zero. And his eyes felt strangely sore and wet. Duo halted only a few centimeters from him, facing Heero's back. Heero didn't move. Or couldn't.
A pale hand, with long spindly fingers looking fragile as porcelain reached towards Heero's cheek. It was as slender and white as a swan, floating in the air. A thin finger made contact with Heero's check, sending violent shivers down his spine. Unlike anything else in this place, he could feel it. Cold.
For a brief second, the hand remained close to his face, and caught a salty tear that reluctantly trailed down his cheek. It merged with the hand. It took up his pain willingly. For a brief second, the desperate guilt that had occupied his mind but been pushed away instantly took him over.
They'd offered everything for him. And what had he done? He'd run. He'd hidden. He'd lied. He'd rejected and ignored them like one would air. Take it for granted and deny it was of any importance. He'd been able to disregard the four pilots for four years. Any thought on them had been immediately dismissed. They sacrificed for him, taken up his invisible tears. And he'd reviled them for it.
It was a shame worse than that of being bound to a wheelchair. Worse than being a Perfect Soldier without his Perfection and ability to fight.
So, selfish.
And now for short intervals, no more than a second or so, he could see it clear as glass. To then swiftly block it out again, and put his mask back in place, where it'd always been.
"You're scared." Duo's voice hit him as icy cold, even though the tone hinted nothing of the sort. That was all? Being told he was scared? Heero would rather have Duo scream and shout at him, hate him for deserting him. But Duo withdrew, walking backwards slowly, in silence.
It made Heero feel even worse. Even after his death – and the death itself, what it would have done to his friends – they cared.
With a sudden roar, as if someone had pushed the 'play' button, the scene roared into action. The clouds swirled and attacked each other, and harsh winds blew over the barren landscape. Right in front of him, slightly translucent, Heero could see Deathscythe and Wing Zero. The enemy mobile suit was following undetected behind them. He saw the attack, the impact of metal to metal, as Wing Zero fell into ruins. A harsh scream trailed from the wreckage and was abruptly cut off. Flames and smoke rose from the scene with intense heat. He could only stare.
Suddenly, his legs gave up. He collapsed onto the ground, and the numbing feeling replaced that of life. Energy was draining from him, fast. His skin paled, and his frame declined into the fragile figure it'd been just before the razor had impacted on his vein. These veins slit open on their own, and the draining sound of liquid filled his ears again, quicker and more rapid this time.
Huge bars erupted from the ground, each wall up to 30 meters away from him. They closely spaced bars curved over like black claws and closed him in completely. Mixed in with the flow of blood that slowly increased, spilling black onto the glass, was the still the sound of crumbling metal and flames, rising into the air.
Then it all went silent. The blood spilled without a sound and spread it's black substance through the crevices of the glass floor. Turning one wide blue eye to look out of his makeshift prison, Heero could see a huge transparent face outside the bars. It's violet eyes shone with what looked like tears.
"You're scared…and so am I…"
And it started fading rapidly.
As it faded into nothing, it dawned on Heero what he'd done. Not only to himself, but also to his friends. To Duo. He'd forced himself to forget them, and in the process destroying a vital part of his own being. He wasn't the one who'd been betrayed. He was the one who'd done the betraying.
Heero lowered his head and closed his tearing eyes. In the moment of suspended time, he forgot all about his training. Having compassion and love deleted from his mind, was over-ridden. He let the guilt and grief of his entire lifetime crush against him in waves of fury.
And it was raw emotion, tugging and tearing at the very base of his soul. Pride and dignity was laid aside. It was no longer needed. He was alone, and would be so until the end of time and being. Now, he could cry.
And he did. Two whispered words took flight between his hushed sobs.
"I'm sorry…"
This said he. Heero Yuy. The human.
A/N: You know, I COULD be nasty and just leave it off there…but I'm not that evil ^^ See this as a first ending, if you like it to end this way…don't read the next chapter =P I'll have that one up soon though ^.^ R&R Puh-lease-ish-ness ^_^
Warnings: Er..stuff =D *blinks* Find out for yourself ¬¬
Disclaimer: I do not own the pilots or anything related to Gundam Wing ¬¬ *mumbles about injustice* If Duos Pikachu plushie or Heeros cat Shinigami were to suddenly appear somewhere in this fic, that is mine ^^
A/N: I would just like to say Thaaaaank Yooooou! to everyone who has read this fic (So far) ^_^ Glad I'm writing something which is of value to you ^.^ Because I'm enjoying this fic a lot. Here's the next chaaaapter, which is…well, a bit of a dream sequence (or death sequence, whichever you want to see it as)…Is he dead or not? Hm…good question… outcome is yet undecided. *Debates how to start next chapter*
A faint sound, like the flow of liquid, awakened him. It was almost too soft to be considered a sound, and so smooth. He could almost feel it. Blood.
/=/ I'm dead./=/ was the first thing that came to mind. But he'd expected the glorious gold gates of heaven, or perhaps the iron bars of hell, to tower up before him in superiority. When he opened his eyes, all that he could see before him was space. He blinked several times to adjust his eyes to the new viewpoint.
The sky was no longer limited by the solid blue-gray color it took normally. It was a mix of glace colors, pinks, yellows, greens, blues, a spectrum of faded blends. Light was coming from everywhere, but at the same time, it had no source. He was lying on his back, on something solid, watching the stillness above him.
Slowly, his fingers crept over the hard surface beneath him. It was cold, and smooth, like glass. Turning his head at an angle, he could see the floor was made up of many glass panes, all reflecting the atmosphere above. There was no end, nor a beginning. It was as if he was trapped on a glass plain between two explosions of color.
And it was so still. So quiet. Not even his breathing disturbed the silence. Even the usual ringing that occupies the ears wasn't there.
Bit by bit, he became aware of another change. His legs. They weren't immobile any more.
/=/ I have to be dead now then… No force on earth would have been able to get my legs back. /=/
He basked in the feeling of simply being able to know that his legs were functioning. That if he tried to, he'd be able to stand up. After a few endless minutes, what seemed longer than any time span on earth, he became aware of being somewhere…strange. He pushed himself up with ease. Looking down, he saw his well-toned muscular arms were there, healthy and strong. His skin didn't look ghostly and white, but was a light tan. It was the old days replayed.
The chain of glass panes stretched beyond his vision, yet there was no horizon. It all seemed to go on and on, without any ending. Still nothing had moved. The air didn't even churn when he moved his hand through it.
He was completely, and utterly, alone. And he didn't like it. He would admit, that it was too eerie. Too silent. Even Relena would be a welcome disturbance.
As if responding to his thoughts, the colors faded to a coal black. The panes of glass reflected it back, but their edges shone with luster. Still nothing moved, but Heero's eyes grew wider. Something had to have caused that. It couldn't have done so on it's own yet what would have?
"Heero."
/=/ What? Huh? /=/ He leapt to his feet and spun around. There was Quatre, not more than five meters from him. Dressed in his normal clothes, but these were tinged black and dull. And he was unnaturally pale. His eyes weren't joyful, either. Gray and dead, as if he wasn't there.
"Quatre?"
"Why didn't you visit?" came the bleak voice once again. Only the mouth moved. Nothing else changed with the words. Heero's eyes grew dark. Even in this place they came to torment him? Couldn't he for once be allowed existence without interference from emotion?
"You…I don't need you." He whispered in a deadly soft voice.
"Maybe you don't. Though I doubt that is true. But we need you."
The spiritual version of Quatre went silent once again. He looked straight through Heero, as if watching something behind him but a glance revealed nothing there.
"Leave me alone!" Heero charged at the figure, and swiped at it with his healthy arm. But the moment before impact, the target was gone. Quatre was no longer there.
"Heero." A deeper voice echoed from behind him. Trowas voice. Heero spun around to see the former green eyes of the Heavyarms pilot had died down to gray, just as Quatres had. This time, he said nothing. Trowa returned the silence, but watched him with a look that showed hurt. Reflected from Heero himself. Heero turned away for a brief second, and looked back to find this specter too, gone.
"Why?" The cold Chinese accented vocal sounded to his right. Wufei had his arms at his sides in a listless manner.
"Why WHAT Wufei?" Heero gave him a sickeningly furious stare. Wufei didn't budge.
"Why?" he asked again. This time, it echoed off an invisible barrier.
Why…why…why…
"I said LEAVE ME!" Heero shouted, clenching his fist. As soon as his eyes blinked, Wufei was gone too. Why what? Why did he push them away? Why did he hide behind a mask? Why did he pretend he had, and couldn't respond to, emotions? Why? The answer was too complex.
But… it wasn't.
It was so simple.
"Heero." the voice was so soft. It floated to Heero's ears and wrapped his senses in a cool blanket. He let his viewpoint wander to his left. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a silhouetted figure, hidden by an unseen shadow. A long braid swayed behind him, and a wind without a source tugged at his hair and clothes.
"Duo…" the words escaped him before he could stop them.
"Yeah. It's me." he sounded more human than the other pilots had. Almost as if it really WAS him. Duo took a few short slow steps towards Heero, pausing with every footfall. Heero was shivering as if it was twenty degrees below zero. And his eyes felt strangely sore and wet. Duo halted only a few centimeters from him, facing Heero's back. Heero didn't move. Or couldn't.
A pale hand, with long spindly fingers looking fragile as porcelain reached towards Heero's cheek. It was as slender and white as a swan, floating in the air. A thin finger made contact with Heero's check, sending violent shivers down his spine. Unlike anything else in this place, he could feel it. Cold.
For a brief second, the hand remained close to his face, and caught a salty tear that reluctantly trailed down his cheek. It merged with the hand. It took up his pain willingly. For a brief second, the desperate guilt that had occupied his mind but been pushed away instantly took him over.
They'd offered everything for him. And what had he done? He'd run. He'd hidden. He'd lied. He'd rejected and ignored them like one would air. Take it for granted and deny it was of any importance. He'd been able to disregard the four pilots for four years. Any thought on them had been immediately dismissed. They sacrificed for him, taken up his invisible tears. And he'd reviled them for it.
It was a shame worse than that of being bound to a wheelchair. Worse than being a Perfect Soldier without his Perfection and ability to fight.
So, selfish.
And now for short intervals, no more than a second or so, he could see it clear as glass. To then swiftly block it out again, and put his mask back in place, where it'd always been.
"You're scared." Duo's voice hit him as icy cold, even though the tone hinted nothing of the sort. That was all? Being told he was scared? Heero would rather have Duo scream and shout at him, hate him for deserting him. But Duo withdrew, walking backwards slowly, in silence.
It made Heero feel even worse. Even after his death – and the death itself, what it would have done to his friends – they cared.
With a sudden roar, as if someone had pushed the 'play' button, the scene roared into action. The clouds swirled and attacked each other, and harsh winds blew over the barren landscape. Right in front of him, slightly translucent, Heero could see Deathscythe and Wing Zero. The enemy mobile suit was following undetected behind them. He saw the attack, the impact of metal to metal, as Wing Zero fell into ruins. A harsh scream trailed from the wreckage and was abruptly cut off. Flames and smoke rose from the scene with intense heat. He could only stare.
Suddenly, his legs gave up. He collapsed onto the ground, and the numbing feeling replaced that of life. Energy was draining from him, fast. His skin paled, and his frame declined into the fragile figure it'd been just before the razor had impacted on his vein. These veins slit open on their own, and the draining sound of liquid filled his ears again, quicker and more rapid this time.
Huge bars erupted from the ground, each wall up to 30 meters away from him. They closely spaced bars curved over like black claws and closed him in completely. Mixed in with the flow of blood that slowly increased, spilling black onto the glass, was the still the sound of crumbling metal and flames, rising into the air.
Then it all went silent. The blood spilled without a sound and spread it's black substance through the crevices of the glass floor. Turning one wide blue eye to look out of his makeshift prison, Heero could see a huge transparent face outside the bars. It's violet eyes shone with what looked like tears.
"You're scared…and so am I…"
And it started fading rapidly.
As it faded into nothing, it dawned on Heero what he'd done. Not only to himself, but also to his friends. To Duo. He'd forced himself to forget them, and in the process destroying a vital part of his own being. He wasn't the one who'd been betrayed. He was the one who'd done the betraying.
Heero lowered his head and closed his tearing eyes. In the moment of suspended time, he forgot all about his training. Having compassion and love deleted from his mind, was over-ridden. He let the guilt and grief of his entire lifetime crush against him in waves of fury.
And it was raw emotion, tugging and tearing at the very base of his soul. Pride and dignity was laid aside. It was no longer needed. He was alone, and would be so until the end of time and being. Now, he could cry.
And he did. Two whispered words took flight between his hushed sobs.
"I'm sorry…"
This said he. Heero Yuy. The human.
A/N: You know, I COULD be nasty and just leave it off there…but I'm not that evil ^^ See this as a first ending, if you like it to end this way…don't read the next chapter =P I'll have that one up soon though ^.^ R&R Puh-lease-ish-ness ^_^