(((Part 2)))




Buffy stared back at Riley, very embarrassed, as their clothing was pulled off their bodies by Riff Raff. He kept sending Willow mysterious looks; she was acting very strangely tonight...

"Uh... Buffy...?" Riley said helplessly.

"Sorry!" she replied. "I kind of forgot about this part... don't worry, nothing utterly weird... uh, yet... they're just raising Rocky Horror."

"Right," Riley said uncertainly.

"You're very lucky to be invited up to Frank's laboratory," Riff Raff commented. "Some people would give their right arm for the privilege."

Riley glanced back over at Buffy. "We don't, right? I mean, we don't actually have to give our arms up?"

Buffy smiled. "No, don't worry."

Riff Raff guided them up the stairs. "Come along - the master doesn't like to be kept waiting."

"Is... is Frank my, um, my husband?" Willow asked helplessly. "I hate this movie, and I haven't even seen it in, like, five years or something..."

"The master is not yet married, nor do I think he will ever be. We are simply his servants," Riff Raff replied, oblivious.

"Hmm," Buffy replied.

"Magenta, Columbia, go assist Riff Raff!" Frank ordered as they waltzed into his laboratory. "I will entertain... uh huh huh..."

"I'm Riley Finn," Riley said, offering his hand. "And this is my girlfriend, Buffy Summers. Hey, do you know where Giles and Xander are? I'd really, *really* like to leave now."

Frank stared at Riley for a moment, but then moved on to Buffy. "Enchante," he said mysteriously, bending down to kiss her hand.

Buffy yanked it away and stared at him angrily. "Um, I'm kind of agreeing with Riley now."

"Well! How nice," Frank remarked dryly. "And what charming underclothes you both have. But here," he continued, handing them lab coats. "Put these on. They'll make you feel less... vulnerable. It's not often we receive visitors here, let alone offer them... hospitality."

"Hospitality!" Riley exclaimed. "We don't want your hospitality! I just want to go home! You're all very sick people and I don't like it here at all!"

"Riley, shut up!" Buffy hissed.

"How... *forceful* you are, Riley," Frank said, eyeing him delightedly. "Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So... dominant. You must be awfully proud of him, Buffy."

"Yeah, great, but I think you're making him uncomfortable," Buffy replied, staring up at Riley's face, flushed with embarrassment.

Frank laughed. "Do you have any tattoos, Riley?"

Buffy grabbed Riley's arm and pulled him away. "Let's talk about that later. Right now you have to raise Rocky Horror, remember?"

"Everything is in readiness, master," Riff Raff added. "We merely await your... word."

"Tonight, my unconventional conventionists... you are about to witness a new breakthrough in biochemical research... and paradise is to be mine! It was strange the way it happened... suddenly you get a break... whole pieces seem to fit into place, not a sign of being.. what a fool! The answer was there all the time, it took a small accident to make it happen... AN ACCIDENT... " Frank cried.

"An accident!" Columbia echoed.

"..and that's how I discovered the secret, that elusive ingredient, that SPARK that is the breath of life... Yes, I have that knowledge... I hold the secret... to life... itself! You see, you are fortunate for tonight is the night that my beautiful creature is destined to be BORN! Up now! ...throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator... and step the reactor power input THREE MORE POINTS!" Frank continued, lowering the tank that held Rocky Horror.

"Oh, God," Buffy muttered.

Riley glanced around uncertainly. "When we get home, remind me never to see this movie."

"Oh! Rocky!" Frank-n-Furter exclaimed.

Suddenly Rocky rose out of the tank and began to sing. "The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head, and I've got the feeling someone's gonna be cutting the thread. "

"You idiot!" Frank exclaimed.

"Oh, woe is me, my life is a misery. Oh, can't you see, that I'm at the start of a pretty big downer. I woke up this morning with a start when I fell out of bed," Rocky continued, dancing around the laboratory.

"That ain't no crime!" the chorus sang.

And so the song rang on, with Riley nearly wringing his hands in despair... this was a very strange land, indeed.

"Well, really!" Frank sighed when the musical number was over. "That's no way to behave on your first day out."

"Ugh ugh," Rocky grunted.

"But since you are such an exceptional beauty, I'm prepared to forgive you," Frank continued.

"Ugh ugh."

"Oh, I just love success!" Frank exclaimed.

Riley stared at him. "Success? There's a guy in golden underpants standing in front of you. That's not success. That's insanity."

Frank looked angry enough to respond, but Riff Raff cut in, breaking the tension. "He's a credit to your genius, master."

"Yes," Frank agreed.

"A triumph of your will!"

"He's okay," Columbia agreed.

"Okay?" Frank raged. "Okay?! I think we can do better than that! Hmph! Well, Riley and Buffy, what do you think of him?"

"Great," Buffy said, her enthusiasm at a minimum. "Look, I know this is important and all, but we really do need to use a phone."

"I didn't make him FOR YOU!" Frank continued, oblivious. "He carries the Charles Atlas seal of approval!"

And then the music began again.

"Oh no," Willow groaned.

"A weakling weighing ninety-eight pounds Will get sand in his face When kicked to the ground; And soon in the gym with a determined chin, The sweat from his pores as he works for his cause Will make him glisten ...and gleam. And with massage, and just a little bit of steam, He'll be pink and quite clean He'll be a strong man. Oh honey... ," Frank sang.

"But the wrong man," they all sang together.

"He'll eat nutritious high protein. And swallow raw eggs... Try to build up his shoulders, his chest, arms, and... legs. Such an effort if he only knew of my plan. In just seven days... ," Frank continued.

"I can make you a man!" Buffy joined in. "I remember this one!"

"Me too," Willow agreed. She didn't look very happy about it.

"He'll do press-ups, and chin-ups, do the snatch, clean and jerk. He thinks dynamic tension must be hard work. Such strenuous living I just don't understand, When in just seven days, oh baby ...I can make you a man," Frank continued, but was suddenly interrupted.

"Eddie!" Columbia exclaimed, as a boy burst through some doors on his motorcycle.

The music began, but he didn't move. Buffy turned around to see who it was and gasped.

Xander.

"Xander!" she exclaimed.

"Buffy... I'm really, *really* scared... this is way worse than syphillis... where the hell are we?" he yelped.

"Rocky Horror Picture Show," Buffy explained for the third time. "I don't know. Somehow we got sucked in. We have to find Giles and get out!"

Suddenly Frank went running after Xander with an ice-pick.

"No!" Buffy screamed, pulling Xander to the side. "No, Frank, you can't kill this guy. He's one of our friends, I swear."

Frank paused to think about it. "Well... can I not... but still say I did?"

Willow nodded eagerly. "Uh-huh! Right... er... boss..."




Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5