By
Eve
"I'm afraid
of what you might be thinking. That I'm a certain kind of person, and that you
are the kind of person that knows more about my story than me."
**
Interlude: Letters and Forgettable
Moments
**
I've decided
I'm going to tell you my whole story Heero. Everything from beginning to end
because when I return I'm going to be someone else, someone I only know.
You're
probably asking yourself why, although I have to give you a little more credit
than that because we did... I guess I should start now, in the beginning,
focusing on my perspective.
Enclosed
is a package of letters containing the story of a relationship that defines who
I am. It broke me, but gave me strength. Yet, it opened my eyes on the
possibilities of understanding emotions and the bonds they create.
These
words of mine will be given to you at final mission. I know I couldn't bear
knowing the look on your face if I hadn't left something.
We
are bonded you and I.
**
She
was the last girl to arrive. A quiet one, large blue eyes with long golden
tresses falling down her
shoulders.
A tiny child, you could barely see her sitting on the bench from a standing
position.
She
couldn't put her finger on it, but the child… There was something about the
child. Dr. Peterson glanced down at the file in her hand.
Six
concentration camps, multiple scars, and a child who refused or chose not to
speak to anyone for that matter, not to say that she blamed her.
But
what struck her the most was the fact that in their hands they held the child
that was known to be the lost Peacecraft, the child that carried the souls of
her mother and grandmother before her.
It
was a tale of sadness, a legend.
But
staring at the small child, she couldn't help but wonder.
Was
it true?
**
"Push
me up!"
"We
are so going to get in trouble for this Hilde. We'll have lessons with the lady
with bad breath. And besides, you're too heavy!"
Merian
was met by a foot in the face and was about to just push the other girl off her
shoulders when Hilde shushed.
"I
see her..."
She
craned her neck upwards. "And what does she look like?"
Hilde
shifted from foot to foot, much to the discomfort of the other girl. "I can't…
I can't see her! Ouch! Watch it!"
She
bit back a grin. Serves the brat right… "So," she began. "What does she look
like?"
"She's
a tiny girl," a new voice interjected. "Apparently really quiet. They've had a
hard time getting the kid to talk. She's been through six concentration camps
so I can't imagine why."
Both
girls whirled around like they had been caught with their hands in a candy jar.
A tall fiery redhead stood staring back at them, violet eyes twinkling with
amusement. Cat was the eldest of the group, just turning nine a month and a half
after she came to Lyon.
"We
were just really curious…"
Cat let a
ghost of a smile appear onto her face and shook her head. She too was just as
curious about the smaller girl like the rest of them. She knew that they still
had one more girl traveling from Athens and wouldn't be here until mid-May, but
she wasn't as curious as she was about her than this girl.
She
had heard the rumors from the adults…
Cat
shook her head, grabbing the other two girls. "Let's go before you guys get
into a load of trouble. I don't think I personally can deal with lesson from
Baba again."
**
I
am different under the circumstances of having better understand of life, of
emotions. I could be considered an empath, but others swear I'm psychic. For
me, I just, I guess have a greater and immense knowledge of everything.
I'm
not sorry for it either.
They
were afraid of me when I first came. I was afraid of them when I barely just
arrived. Six camps, Heero, I had been through six of the most terrifying camps
even according the historians.
I
didn't talk for reason only known to me and unfortunately they didn't accept
that, otherwise I would have been the last child, not Cat, to turn.
I
am not the violent one. I'm more of going in and getting the job done,
regardless of the consequences. I have a spirit much like yours, which probably
explains the bonding, but I refuse to accept defeat for it is failure.
Failure,
for me, for the girls…
It's
never been an option.
Our
lives are banded by contract, as you know. They only purpose keeping any of us
from breaking the contract is the one thing all of us keep near and dear to our
hearts.
Family.
Family
that unfortunately has been unjustly taken away from us. If they happen to be
alive and well, then they have no knowledge of our own safety. If they don't,
then sadly none of us will ever know.
We
are prisoners of destiny.
We
are not allowed to love, but only to hate.
**
"Timing
was everything, I guess."
She
said nothing, back turned. She couldn't face him. She couldn't let him see the
tears building up in her eyes. Crying was a sign of weakness. Any emotion was a
weakness, she thought bitterly. Thirteen years old and she still followed
commands like a lost puppy, they all did.
Choices
were everything.
To
live, to die, or it would be death for the ones they loved. She couldn't risk
that. She could never do that to herself, the feeling being unexplainable.
"I
have my orders, Micah," she responded quietly, hoping he'd take the hint and
leave. The emotions and her detox-like experience in the chambers were doing a
number on her and she was just ready to break down.
"You
going to give me a strait answer, love? Or you going to make this harder for
the fucking both of us and say nothing at all? Oh, I forgot. You're the
almighty Silence, who doesn't answer to anyone. You didn't even stop them when
we were separated. You-"
"Micah…"
She
was trying to contain herself, but she was getting closer and closer to
breaking. The Darlians were expecting her in "sane" condition and she intended
to keep her mind strait for the time being.
Empty
promises of seeing family were consuming her heart. She wanted to give up on
the notion, but there was something inside the remains of her heart saying not
to.
"Answer
me this, Mags. Do you love me?"
Her
eyes widened, he had caught her off guard. The one question that had been
plaguing her constantly, night after night. It was almost surreal. She had been
expecting something to this degree, but the fact that he had said it now with
such urgency was just…
"Well?"
"Micah,
I can't answer the question. Please, don't make me go through this now. You
know I have-"
"Bloody
hell you do. You're going to answer me right now. I deserve an answer. I love
you damn it!"
Blue
eyes pierced him back, the anger and pain within beginning to rise. She was
about ready to break down.
"Micah…"
"I
gave you so-"
"Micah,
I have no-"
"You
are my life-"
She
slammed her fist against the table, her eyes burning with an intensity he had
thought was lost to the ashes. She bit down on her lip with such force; blood
came dripping down her face, slow drop after slow drop. She began to speak
quietly, a deadliness in the tone of her voice causing him to back away slowly.
When she got angry, it was a good idea to stay clear from her.
"I
told you. I told that I have my orders that I cannot disobey. I have people to
protect; you know that as well as I do. Yet now I'm beginning to wonder how
much you've *really* taken in from what I've told you."
He
watched her, eyes contorted in fear and emotion she only recognized from when
they were together during the happy times.
"Mags,
I love you. That's what I have to offer to you."
She
stood up, heading towards the iron door. She understood now, their lack of
connection and all. He had this ideal relationship when it came to the two of
them where as everything had been initially part of a goddamn fantasy. He loved
the idea of being in love with her. He was in love with concept of being the
one person that was needed to be needed. And things didn't go as exactly
planned, hell broke loose.
This
was the best damn thing the council had done for her yet.
Let
her go.
"No,"
she stated quietly. "You don't love me the way I need you to love me, Micah.
Don't do this to yourself, you will get hurt in the process."
"So
you're going to walk away?"
She
nodded slowly, the door already open and beckoning.
"Aye,
I'm going to walk away."
**
I
can't describe the events of what happen next between us. The words simply
refuse to come out of my mouth due to the lasting effect of the event. I still
have several images burning inside my mind as I write this to you.
The
relationship between Micah and I can be describe as the seasons. There's the
same constant change, over and over again to the point where there's only a
projection and no core.
Maybe
someday, if I come back and get through this alive I'll tell you the whole
story from beginning to end. But I will say this.
Micah
was driven by the need for instant revenge. The council had removed his family
from leadership and ever since that moment he had committed himself to revenge.
Our
relationship went from developing a basis for a weak connection and
understanding to downhill. It wasn't like Hilde and Adam where he died for her.
Nor was it like puppy love for Dorothy and Alexi. Or for both Merian and LIng
and Cat with Patrick was it quiet.
It
was filled with violence and passion.
The
scariest part was that I was thirteen when the relationship ended, he being
sixteen. I was the equivalent of a thirty-year old in a thirteen year-old's
body.
Experience
is what taught me life's lessons. Violence is what taught me to survive
darkness. But love, Heero, love is what connects me the most to you.
I
have all but one request for you. If by chance I am not present in living form
when you read this, please, please find my family.
Tell
them I love them unconditionally, through life and death.
Tell
Millardo that I have always forgiven him and that I love him despite what he
thinks.
Tell
Micah because I have this foreboding feeling that he's alive, let past be past
and move on.
But
to you dear Heero, I leave the first of many letters of my life and who I am,
so that maybe someday you will find me.
I
love you.
And
now I will embrace the darkness within me.
I
am the Silence.
**
Author's
Notes: All right, that
was the more serious of interludes in this book. I was hoping in this interlude
to slightly convey the type of person Relena will be when turned. I've also
mentioned that she's capable of something greater than what anyone truly
understood which will also be coming into play later. Now, I know I said that
Hilde's turning period was going to be a little more graphic and violent than
before but I did not play it for several reasons. You will see this in the next
chapter, which will have major content warning. I'm very happy with the story
and finally narrowed down the fact that this book will been down with in eleven
parts (nineteen if you count by the fanfiction.net system). Then Book Three,
which is a dozy by the way, will start. Title will be released nearing the end
of ICD. Also from now on look for romance to play a random and twisted, but
significant part in the story.
Another
issue that is needed to be dealt with is regarding lemon goddess. I am tired of
seeing your reviews and reading your inane comments. I'm trying to write a
story here, which by the way if you did read it what don't you like? Please do
not waste my time or else *tired evil grin* I'll let everyone badger you.
See
you in Chapter 7, "Behind the Iron Wall in Moscow".
Dedication: Oneechan, you are the best and the
sweetest in the whole entire world. Love ya!
Disclaimer: Too tired… Way too tired…