By Eve
Warning: Can't deal with graphic violence, don't read. I really hate the e-mails that say that my story is way too violent and I have a warning at the beginning. Save yourself from embarrassment. This is going to be a twisted chapter due to an addiction to General Hospital, a romance novel for Christmas, and watching Angel Sanctuary. Combination it is…
Dedication: To oneechan and Ani-chan as always, supporting me in anything crazy I come up with. I love you!
Author's Note: I profoundly apologize for not updating faster, but dear readers I've having a whirlwind of a life. Good things have been happening as well as bad, so because of this I had to rewrite all of chapter 9. Since its rather lengthy, I'm posting them in two parts. I kind of killed someone I wasn't supposed to and that's why the rewrite occurred. I apologize again and enjoy!
**
Heal me, Lord, that I may be healed;
Save me that I may be saved…
Jeremiah 18:14
**
Chapter 9a: Mer de Noms, Sea of Names
**
Cool fingertips grazed his forehead brushing strands of loose hair out of his face. He couldn't remember the last time he had laid in an army infirmary. The last battle when Otto had… He shook his head. Past mistakes could not be thought of now. He had a lot to worry about. His sister namely and his wife… He pushed himself up with groan.
"You know the doctor specifically said for you to relax, not to be a complete moron."
"I'm glad to see you're in good spirits, wife."
Lucrezia Noin chuckled and sat down next to the bed, adjusting her arm sling. A small gash grazed her left cheek. He sobered up and traced her face gently.
"Are you all right?"
She nodded. "No thanks that male ego of yours. The Duchess however…"
"Oh God-"
His eyes closed. "I understand the points of warfare, the harshness of battle, but I can't for the life of me understand any of this. I have so many questions and Relena is so far away it seems… I just don't know what to believe anymore."
"I'm afraid for her."
**
"So you're the famous Heero Yuy…"
His eyes narrowed, but he made no move to answer. It would be this man cockiness that would serve as his downfall. He leaned against the bare wall behind him, finally smirking when he saw the look of frustration on the other man's face.
Competition will be eliminated.
"You mute, lad?"
His smirk grew, but again he made no motion to reply.
"I said are you mute lad?"
Competition will be eliminated at all costs.
Micah approached the pilot of 01, anger now clearly visible. He slammed his hands against the wall beside Heero's face. The smirk never left his face nor did he blink.
"I don't talk unless I'm dire need of doing so."
Grabbing Micah by the collar, he flung the larger man against the wall. Breath. In-out-In-out. His hands clutched the other man's shirt tightly, eyes never leaving his face.
"You don't deserve to live," Heero spat.
Competition will be eliminated.
"She loved you and you left her. You lied to her."
Competition will be eliminated at all costs.
Micah smirked. "And you're no better than me… She's a mission to you and she was a pawn to me, end of story."
At all coasts…
Crack!
Heero stood tall, blue eyes blazing with a fierce intensity, which only one other person could match. His fist was still high in the air, gripped tightly.
ALL COSTS…
"I love her," he hissed. "I love Relena because she accepts me, me and no one else."
All…"You don't owe her," Micah countered.
Competition…Heero shook his head and turned towards the door. He wasn't worth it. Relena was the one who need to finish this, whenever she came back.
Costs…"I do owe her. She's mine."
ELMININATED…
"Like I am hers."
**
She barely could feel the ice-cold water dripping down her back in the shower. She didn't even register the fact that about an hour ago she had left Merian, her partner in the mission alone on a flight back to Jerusalem. Her eyes closed; maybe it was a good idea to stay in Jordan.
You won't hurt anyone.
She sighed. "I don't want to hurt anyone."
Then let go! What's stopping you?
"Everything," she whispered. "Everything that I worked so goddamn hard to close in. To try… To live… I will die if I try to open up again."
Take the razor then. End the self-worth and the misery, freedom can be achieved…
She hit the shower button off and stood in the shower naked and silent, welcoming the bitter cold. Cat's eyes never left the plastic razor. Her ivory fingertips glazed the sharp edges, drawling blood. It's been a long time since she'd taken her own blood.
It'll be a pitiful way to die, Natia.
"I am not Natia," she hissed, drawling more blood as she dug the razor deeper into her skin.
Natia, Natia, Natia… Never could handle the past…
"I *am* not *Natia*."
Never could handle the fact that the Phoenix lives inside of you, dear.
"Stop taunting me," she screamed, slamming the razor down and her fist into wall. "Stop taun-ting me…"
Release, child.
"I don't-"
Just let go, Cat. Just let go…
Violet eyes widened slightly and then relaxed easing into a deep meditation.
You are Catherine.
"I am Catherine."
You are Natia.
"I am Natia."
You are the Phoenix.
"I am the Phoenix."
And you will always be the Darkness.
"I am the Darkness."
Release…
"I am the Darkness."
**
It was a large book. Its cover a faded violet with paintings of flowers and ribbons dancing in circles in the center while the corners had worn black ribbons tied into small bows. A larger ribbon, tied into a single knot, held the book itself together. Slender hands reached out to touch it, afraid that if even the slightest of movements would cause the precious item to break. Her fingers traced over the front, landing on small silver script.
To she who is lost
May you find yourself and your heart.
"There are two of us left."
**