PART 19 Farewell, My Sweet (Aeka and Vegeta's Point of View)
I have no reason to stay, it's as clear as can be. Vegeta has
a family, he doesn't want his chance to see me again. Vegeta
doesn't love me. But I need him so much. My heart aches for
his touch. I will die if I don't see him once more. Maybe I'll
...maybe...I just might...but...I...I...can't. If I am gone then...
who will take care of Asahi? I just have to die. I could let
Sasami tell Asahi stories at night. He has the whole universe
to take care of him. I am just one person, one princess, one...
mother. There is so much to live for. But there is so much to
die because of. Do I live for Asahi or...die because of Vegeta?
Eternal life...all mine. My wish. The reason I traveled all
the way here. To get those Dragonballs and have immortality.
I guess I have it already. Eternal life, flowing through my
veins. I have no more reason to stay on this Earth except for
my children. But why do I care about them? They have human
blood and can't fight as good a Saiyajin such as myself. Why
do I care so much? I was brought up to fight, not to have stupid
emotions. The only thing I should feel is glory and pain. But
I am prince so I shouldn't feel pain at all. Then why, right now,
I feel as if I am dying...very painfully...
I have to forget about him. Forget he never existed. I'll marry
someone else and let him claim Asahi as his own. If I think
about Vegeta then I will be thinking about my own death. The
heart is the most important organ in the body, is it not? Vegeta
will only take it and destroy it in no time at all. Why do I
have to have feelings?! If I were born with Saiyajin blood like...
like him, I would be too busy caring about fighting that
any emotion would be terminated by mere instinct. But why did
Vegeta care about me, if he did? He didn't want me to leave.
His voice, so gentle. The most unexpected thing to do...ever.
Even when his blood mixed with a race of people with so much
emotions. I wonder if he still cares for me. But I'm only
fantasizing. A stupid idea...I don't know...
I know that I must forget her or I shall go crazy...but I can't.
I never thought the toughest battle that I would ever fight would
shed no blood but destroy the heart. Why am I thinking this?! I'm
being...I am...emotional. I have no other way to describe it.
Decently, at least. No word is descent. This is completely
undescribable. I would die if any other living Saiyajin were
alive and ever found out about this. A total disgrace. An
enormous sacrifice. I couldn't bear the thought. Then why do I
pray to have one single chance to express this...emotion?
Something inside me is pounding to get out. I feel as if I should
encourage that feeling and yet let it be ignored.
I never knew my life would be this way. It's strange that I
once was in love with Tenchi and now I am grieving over the pain
Vegeta caused me. I want this to end! I can't just stand around
waiting and hoping my true love will come by and the next thing
you know, we're married. I could only hope. But hoping does nothing
for me anymore! I've hoped for years that me and Vegeta would
finally admit to each other...and I end up with a broken heart.
Why didn't I realize sooner?! Vegeta was so stubborn back then.
He still is now. I should stop trying to get him back. It's
useless. I should have known that any promise Vegeta would make
would be a hollow one. I had training for marriage, why can't I
be trained for love?
If I only remembered my promise, this would have never happened.
Years ago, I promised I would think about getting married to her.
I should have at least told her I could not marry her. I can't
stand letting her having a broken heart...what am I saying?! I
don't know why I think these things. I can't fall in love now,
not ever. I am afraid this emotion is taking over me once again.
I can't let this happen yet...I can't let my Aeka suffer from a
broken heart...
I do not know what to do anymore. I should never had stayed in
Earth, ever. If I had stayed in Jurai, I would never fell in love
with Tenchi, my parents would never know about Vegeta living
on Earth and I wouldn't be here right now, confused. I don't
know what to do, what to beleive, what to wish for, what to hope
for, what to live for, what to...whatever... I just want Vegeta
out of my life but...I need him. Yamucha might be right. I wanted
him but I needed Vegeta. I want Vegeta to leave but...I...need
to...I...need to kiss him. Right now. Any kiss would do. Just one.
I can't fight it back. I would die if I didn't feel his touch
once more. Just one more time...
I need to kiss her. I just do. Why can't I take control of my
body?! I don't want to kiss her but...I need...to...KILL SOMEBODY!
I can't stand this! I need to kill but...I won't...I...can't.
Aeka would think of me more as a monster. But why do I care?!
I don't know...
I've decided to end this misery. I will go back to Jurai, just
as my father wishes. I will be gone in a few hours. I will erase
the idea of going to Vegeta and telling him that I will not
leave and I...I...care...for him... No, I cannot care for him.
It's useless to care for someone who will not return your feelings.
I learned so much from Tenchi. Tenchi will only think of me as
another person. The most he can feel for me is friendship. It's
just silly to waste all your emotions into a person who will not
give at least half of those emotions back. Vegeta wouldn't give back
one drop of emotion. He's too stubborn, cold-hearted. I should
learn not to fall in love with just anyone. Vegeta is worthless
as anything but a heartbreaker. His planet is gone so how could
he be a prince? He has no one to fight for so how could he be a
good warrior? Worthless. Just worthless...like me...
I know who I should kill: myself. I'm better off dead. But it
seems that I already am dead. No, I am not dead. I feel something
worse than death. Unmentionable. I can't say what it is.
It's true what they say, I am stubborn. Therefore, I refuse to
say the feeling I have now. I don't even want to say I have
feelings. Whatever this is will go away. It's just nonsense.
Everything I've been thinking was nonsense. Feelings, emotions,
care, love,...heartbreak...
I'm going back to Jurai for certain. I will. Not 'I might', I will.
I have to leave the past behind and I will think of my son's
future. Asahi needs a father and I will get one for him...whoever
it is. My father will pick out a husband. I had too many chances
to decide my future and I messed them all up. I'm just hopeless.
I'll let my life be decided by the righteous people. The ones
who know what to do. My father, my mother, the Jurai Royal Council,
anyone who can find a better future than what I aim for.
I will just say farewell to the Earth and get a better life.
A life without heartbreak.
I have no reason to stay, it's as clear as can be. Vegeta has
a family, he doesn't want his chance to see me again. Vegeta
doesn't love me. But I need him so much. My heart aches for
his touch. I will die if I don't see him once more. Maybe I'll
...maybe...I just might...but...I...I...can't. If I am gone then...
who will take care of Asahi? I just have to die. I could let
Sasami tell Asahi stories at night. He has the whole universe
to take care of him. I am just one person, one princess, one...
mother. There is so much to live for. But there is so much to
die because of. Do I live for Asahi or...die because of Vegeta?
Eternal life...all mine. My wish. The reason I traveled all
the way here. To get those Dragonballs and have immortality.
I guess I have it already. Eternal life, flowing through my
veins. I have no more reason to stay on this Earth except for
my children. But why do I care about them? They have human
blood and can't fight as good a Saiyajin such as myself. Why
do I care so much? I was brought up to fight, not to have stupid
emotions. The only thing I should feel is glory and pain. But
I am prince so I shouldn't feel pain at all. Then why, right now,
I feel as if I am dying...very painfully...
I have to forget about him. Forget he never existed. I'll marry
someone else and let him claim Asahi as his own. If I think
about Vegeta then I will be thinking about my own death. The
heart is the most important organ in the body, is it not? Vegeta
will only take it and destroy it in no time at all. Why do I
have to have feelings?! If I were born with Saiyajin blood like...
like him, I would be too busy caring about fighting that
any emotion would be terminated by mere instinct. But why did
Vegeta care about me, if he did? He didn't want me to leave.
His voice, so gentle. The most unexpected thing to do...ever.
Even when his blood mixed with a race of people with so much
emotions. I wonder if he still cares for me. But I'm only
fantasizing. A stupid idea...I don't know...
I know that I must forget her or I shall go crazy...but I can't.
I never thought the toughest battle that I would ever fight would
shed no blood but destroy the heart. Why am I thinking this?! I'm
being...I am...emotional. I have no other way to describe it.
Decently, at least. No word is descent. This is completely
undescribable. I would die if any other living Saiyajin were
alive and ever found out about this. A total disgrace. An
enormous sacrifice. I couldn't bear the thought. Then why do I
pray to have one single chance to express this...emotion?
Something inside me is pounding to get out. I feel as if I should
encourage that feeling and yet let it be ignored.
I never knew my life would be this way. It's strange that I
once was in love with Tenchi and now I am grieving over the pain
Vegeta caused me. I want this to end! I can't just stand around
waiting and hoping my true love will come by and the next thing
you know, we're married. I could only hope. But hoping does nothing
for me anymore! I've hoped for years that me and Vegeta would
finally admit to each other...and I end up with a broken heart.
Why didn't I realize sooner?! Vegeta was so stubborn back then.
He still is now. I should stop trying to get him back. It's
useless. I should have known that any promise Vegeta would make
would be a hollow one. I had training for marriage, why can't I
be trained for love?
If I only remembered my promise, this would have never happened.
Years ago, I promised I would think about getting married to her.
I should have at least told her I could not marry her. I can't
stand letting her having a broken heart...what am I saying?! I
don't know why I think these things. I can't fall in love now,
not ever. I am afraid this emotion is taking over me once again.
I can't let this happen yet...I can't let my Aeka suffer from a
broken heart...
I do not know what to do anymore. I should never had stayed in
Earth, ever. If I had stayed in Jurai, I would never fell in love
with Tenchi, my parents would never know about Vegeta living
on Earth and I wouldn't be here right now, confused. I don't
know what to do, what to beleive, what to wish for, what to hope
for, what to live for, what to...whatever... I just want Vegeta
out of my life but...I need him. Yamucha might be right. I wanted
him but I needed Vegeta. I want Vegeta to leave but...I...need
to...I...need to kiss him. Right now. Any kiss would do. Just one.
I can't fight it back. I would die if I didn't feel his touch
once more. Just one more time...
I need to kiss her. I just do. Why can't I take control of my
body?! I don't want to kiss her but...I need...to...KILL SOMEBODY!
I can't stand this! I need to kill but...I won't...I...can't.
Aeka would think of me more as a monster. But why do I care?!
I don't know...
I've decided to end this misery. I will go back to Jurai, just
as my father wishes. I will be gone in a few hours. I will erase
the idea of going to Vegeta and telling him that I will not
leave and I...I...care...for him... No, I cannot care for him.
It's useless to care for someone who will not return your feelings.
I learned so much from Tenchi. Tenchi will only think of me as
another person. The most he can feel for me is friendship. It's
just silly to waste all your emotions into a person who will not
give at least half of those emotions back. Vegeta wouldn't give back
one drop of emotion. He's too stubborn, cold-hearted. I should
learn not to fall in love with just anyone. Vegeta is worthless
as anything but a heartbreaker. His planet is gone so how could
he be a prince? He has no one to fight for so how could he be a
good warrior? Worthless. Just worthless...like me...
I know who I should kill: myself. I'm better off dead. But it
seems that I already am dead. No, I am not dead. I feel something
worse than death. Unmentionable. I can't say what it is.
It's true what they say, I am stubborn. Therefore, I refuse to
say the feeling I have now. I don't even want to say I have
feelings. Whatever this is will go away. It's just nonsense.
Everything I've been thinking was nonsense. Feelings, emotions,
care, love,...heartbreak...
I'm going back to Jurai for certain. I will. Not 'I might', I will.
I have to leave the past behind and I will think of my son's
future. Asahi needs a father and I will get one for him...whoever
it is. My father will pick out a husband. I had too many chances
to decide my future and I messed them all up. I'm just hopeless.
I'll let my life be decided by the righteous people. The ones
who know what to do. My father, my mother, the Jurai Royal Council,
anyone who can find a better future than what I aim for.
I will just say farewell to the Earth and get a better life.
A life without heartbreak.