-
I would die for you
I would die for you
I've been dying just to feel you by my side
To know that you're mine
-
'Breathe', Helga reminded herself, standing outside her house, waiting for Arnold to walk over. It was warm out, which Helga was grateful for, in her thin pink shirt, and light blue jeans, ultra-low cut. Her hair fell in loose waves around her shoulders, she was wearing mascara and lip gloss, and the moon was shining, casting irredescant light over her. Looking up, she saw Arnold's shadowy figure walking towards the house.
She'd never felt more self-concious in her life.
He was beautiful, all soft, pale skin sliding over bones and muscles. Golden hair framing the smoldering emerald orbs of his eyes. His lips were so softly curved, and smooth, that Helga stared at them mesmerized for what seemed like an eternity. Worn blue jeans and a black sweater looked casual, but perfect at the same time. Helga felt so disgustingly inadequate she could break down, right there.
-
I will cry for you
I will cry for you
I will wash away your pain with all my tears
And drown your fear
- p> "God, look at the stars!" Arnold exclaimed happily as the couple walked out of the movie theate, later that evening. "Aren't they gorgeous, Helga?"
She nodded happily, her nervousness having dissipated almost entirely during the course of the evening. Arnold had been amazing, since he greeted her at her doorstep. Sweet, and funny and intelligent and every wonderful thing a person -could- be. Just as she glanced up at him, he clutched her hand and started walking a bit faster. "C'mon," he said grinning eagerly, "I want to take you somewhere." She followed him to the Boarding House, where they climbed the fire escape up to the rooftop. "Best view of the night sky around here" he said, sounding proud. "You've never been up here before, have you Helga?"
She blinked, considering her answer carefully. "No," she said after a moments pause. "I haven't". Someday, she promised she'd tell Arnold all about her many escapades, and how much she loved him. He was just starting to learn about her, it was much too soon. She sat down, leaning againt the glass which formed Arnold's ceiling and he sat beside her, pointing out different constellations.
-
"I had a really good time, Helga" Arnold said earnestly,as they stood outside her house. He'd insisted on walking her home, being a gentlemen, and she'd happily agreed. Now neither of them wanted to end the evening, and they both remained still, not wanting to break the tender bonds which had grown over the last few hours.
"Yeah..." Helga half-murmered, staring intensely into those gorgeous green eyes, just thinking that everything had been worth it, every single second. Unsure of himself, Arnold slowly slid one arm around her waist, and pulled Helga closer, closing his eyes slightly, puckering his lips...
And feeling her go limp in his arms.
-
I will pray for you
I will pray for you
I will sell my soul for something pure and true
Someone like you
-
"Helga? Helga, are you okay? Can you hear me? Oh god, Helga!?"
She couldn't see, at first. Everything had gone dark, and all she could hear was Arnold's voice, sounding concered and upset.
"Uh,Arnold?" she asked, surprised at how quiet her own voice sounded. She tried again. "Arnold, what happened?"
"You fainted." He responded, still holding her with one arm as he rang the doorbell to her house. "Maybe your blood sugar's a little low. Have you eaten lately?"
She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, moving away from his arm and standing straight. "Yes!" she snapped quicky.
The door opened to reveal Miriam, looking as drowsy and strung-out as ever. Arnold ignored that, and explained to her what happened.
"Fainted? Uh huh...I'll get her a glass of water. Helga, why don't you sit down?" Her mother said, sounding nonplussed, but still surprisingly maternal.
"Arnold, is it? Thank you for bringing Helga home, but you oughta leave. It's getting late, and we'll take care of Helga."
He wanted to stay so, so badly. But glancing at Helga, and seeing her nod quickly in his directions, he agreed, and walked out the door, shoulder's slumped.
-
See your face every place that I walk in
Hear your voice every time that I'm talking
You will believe in me
And I will never be ignored
-
After Arnold was gone, it didn't take long for Helga to convince Miriam she was fine.
"Just got a bit dizzy," she laughed, "that's all." She also grabbed an apple, and ate it while talking to the older lady. "See?" She said happily, "For energy. I'll be fine." And Miriam didn't press anymore after that. Helga escaped back into her bedroom, where she pulled out her diary, and retold the events of the evening in great detail.
Putting away the book, she did 150 stomach crunches, 100 less than usual. She figured fainting was her body's way of saying it was a little worn out. 100 leg raises on each side, and she decided to call it a night.
Afterwards, she went to weigh herself, as usual, and to take a shower. 105.5lbs. Not much of a change, but the numbers were still sinking. The hot water of the shower felt wonderful, cascading over her body and cleansing her mind. The night had gone wonderfully, she decided, though Arnold might be more suspicious about her health from now on. She'd deal. She always did.
-
I will burn for you
Feel pain for you
I will twist a knife and bleed my aching heart
And tear it apart
-
The next days were a blur. She didn't talk to Arnold, only saw him in class. That was her own fault, she knew, she skipped lunch to go for a walk, and took the bus to the gym right after school. She grew more and more secluded as her determination grew to reach 100 lbs. It was ironic, she decided, that she was doing this for Arnold, but saw so much less of him because of it. He'd even called, twice in the last 5 days, but Helga hadn't returned them. She didn't feel confident enough to talk to him again, not until she could impress him with how perfect she'd become.
-
"I wonder if he thought I was fat, while we were on our date."
Pheobe sighed, a mixture of genuine concern for her best friend, and annoyance that weight was all Helga discussed anymore. "Helga, you aren't fat, not in the slightest." Her voice shook a little as she continued, "I'm worried about you, Helga. You're taking this too far. I..I want you to get some help."
"Help? Pheebs, what are you talking about?"
"I think you have an eating disorder. In fact, I'm almost sure of it, Helga."
Helga laughed, a little too loudly. "You're -joking-, right? Pheobe, there's nothing wrong with me. Everybody diets. I'm just good at it."
The look on her best friends face showed that she didn't buy Helga's reasoning in the slightest.
"Hey, I'm gonna get going, Pheebs. Don't worry about me, I'm great. See ya"
-
I will lie for you
Beg and steal for you
I will crawl on hands and knees until you see
You're just like me
-
"Has Helga seemed a little weird to you lately, Gerald?" Arnold asked, voice filled with worry.
"What're you talking about, man? She's always been a head case"
He sighed. "No, I'm serious. Something's wrong. And she's lost so much weight lately."
Sensing his friend's concern, Gerald nodded. "Yeah, she has. Why don't you talk to her?"
"I don't know...I guess I just don't feel like she'd open up to me or anything. She'd probably just try and push me further away."
Not knowing what to say, Gerald just nodded, and the two best friends walked down the street in silence.
-
Violate all the love that I'm missing
Throw away all the pain that I'm living
You will believe in me
And I will never be ignored
-
99 lbs. Even better than her goal of 100. Critically inspecting herself, Helga decided she wasn't -that- bad off. "I'm pretty thin." she said out loud, giving her a reflection a quick smile. "I just need a little toning, and to get rid of that pudge around my stomach."
90 lbs would do it.
-
I will die for you
I will kill for you
I will steal for you
I'd do time for you
I will wait for you
I'd make room for you
I'd sail ships for you
To be close to you
To be part of you
Cause I believe in you
I believe in you
I would die for you
-
Author's Notes: Hmm, I'm not really liking this chapter. So reviews would be appreciated more than ever, to let me know what you think. Lyrics are from #1 Crush, by Garbage. Expect the next Chapter out soon, but maybe not for a couple of days.