So Strange You Are My Lover
Chapter 6
Author: Silent Moon
mail: silentmoonstar@yahoo.com
rated: R
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Darien sat in his apartment some days later, sketching aimlessly....thoughts elsewhere.
He had a big show coming up....and though he was prepared so far as having all the work
ready was concerned...he was not ready otherwise.
His life would change forever. It was to be one of those ironic, make or break, life
altering moments....
He tossed down his pencil and pad with frustration. But then resigned himself with a sigh.
It was all for the best really, he couldn't continue with Serena in this fashion, it was
killing him....slowly....smile after smile....
The phone rang, bringing him back to reality a bit,
"Hullo?"
"Darien, I need you to be my date tonight!" Serena's panicked voice squeaked out.
He laughed, "This 'friends only' thing lasted long." He joked.
"You tease but I'm in such a panic! There's a big banquet dinner and ball at the hotel
downtown for my office--I forgot all about it! Everyone's heard I've split up with Alan
and....I just CAN'T show up without a date!"
He sighed with mock indulgence on the other end, "Alright."
"Oh, I'm so afraid everyone will be talking--you don't think it'll be a scandal do you?"
"No, I don't."
She seemed to breath a sigh of relief at this.
"How long do I have to get ready?" He asked.
"We have to leave now." She informed him.
"Now? But I haven't got a tux or anything!"
There was a knock at his door.
"Just a sec there's someone at the d--" He opened the door to find Serena, dressed to kill
with a tux over her arm for him.
She smiled bewitchingly at him, "Please?"
He grinned shaking his head at her and took the tux, "Give me five minutes." And then
he rushed madly to the bathroom.
She laughed, "Thank you!" She sang out after him.
She could hear the sounds of him shaving and washing up and then he walked out...
She caught her breath. She'd never seen him dressed up. Shaved and combed neatly, with
that tuxedo on, he looked a part of a different life. Her life.
Suddenly she realized....how little difference there really was? Could that be right?
"How is it," She quipped dryly, "That men can look stunning in five minutes and it takes
me three hours?"
He chuckled, "I'll take that as a compliment."
"You look wonderful." She smiled, and offered her arm.
"You look gorgeous." He returned and he meant it. He got a look at her again
coming out of the bathroom.....her hair was done up loosely with long tendrils curling
about her neck and throat....there were flowers tied in....and her dress...it said it all.
No sleek black business dress for her this time. It was creamy and soft and absolutely
perfect. The sparkle to her lips paled in comparison.
They hurried down to her car.
"This is a great tux," He said as they drove, "Just the right size--how did you guess?"
She smiled, "I know a little about tuxedos..."
He laughed at her mysteriousness about it.
"Where'd you rent it from?"
Now she chuckled, "I didn't. It's yours, a thank you for helping me out in a pinch."
"Serena, I couldn't! It must have cost you a fortune!"
"Nonsense! And now you'll have one if you ever need it again!"
He shook his head. There was no arguing with her.
They swept into the banquet dinner with all the grace of an important couple. Darien
made a handsome escort and there was much clucking and whispering about him. He laughed
it off good naturedly with Serena as they sat with Greg and a very radiant looking
Amy at a little table off to one side.
Amy stood to greet her, "Hello Serena!"
"Amy, you look wonderful!" She exclaimed, "You're absolutely glowing!"
Amy grinned then and looked some ten years younger, blushing.
"Thank you, you look absolutely beautiful yourself!"
Serena shrugged it off, "Thanks. Oh! This is my date Darien. Darien, this is Amy
and her husband Greg."
"Nice to meet you." Greg said shaking his hand.
"Darien....where have I heard that name before?" Amy murmured as they sat.
"He's Rei's cousin." Serena said.
"Oh! That's right! You gave me that exquisite bear! Thank you so much!"
Darien smiled, "Rei let the cat out of the bag eh? Well, congratulations and I'm happy
you liked the bear."
Amy smiled back while Serena once again fought to bite back a painful sensation too
strong to name. She shook herself. Alan was gone. The possibility of having children
was very real in her future....so why did this strange sensation refuse to dissipate?
Dinner arrived shortly after and they chatted at length over steak and salad and wine.
Serena, Amy and Greg talked about work and Darien politely listened. Then Greg
turned to him,
"What do you do Darien?"
Darien smiled, "I'm a painter actually. Got my Fine Arts mostly in Japan and then came to
America to finish."
"Really? Are you fluent in Japanese?"
"It's my first language actually. My mother was from Japan and my father from England.
He taught me to speak English but I rarely had chance till I came here."
"Do you find growing up in Japan has influenced your work?" Amy piped in with interest and
Serena herself became enraptured. They rarely talked about his work, she realized with
a pang of guilt.
"Some. Studying influenced me the most. I fell in love with Impressionism and read up
on it as much as I could."
"Is that the style you paint in yourself?"
"I mix up a lot of styles I think....but yes, I am fairly classical and there's definitely
a sense of impressionism to my work."
Amy laughed, "Serena must know." She turned to her friend, "You must have seen some of his
work--what do you think?"
Darien started a bit and so did Serena, but she surprised him by saying, "Actually,
I did go see his last show..."
"Oh, what was it called?" Asked Greg in a tone that implied he'd been to a couple.
"Why Are Trees Beautiful..." She said softly and met Darien's eyes for the first time.
There was something in them that made her shiver.
"So...how would you describe his work?"
And for once, Serena, who knew anything and everything about business, felt dumb...and
one sided. How did these people know about art? Was everyone three dimensional while she
was merely two?
She laughed a little nervously, "Oh, I'm afraid I don't know much about painting. I couldn't
say what style they resembled. But, they were absolutely beautiful..."
Amy and Greg smiled and nodded and Darien tried to tear his eyes away from hers but they were
locked together in emotion for one tense moment that made Greg arch an eyebrow at his wife.
And then, to Serena's complete surprise, Darien and Greg dove into a heavy discussion about
art history and bantered good naturedly for some time.
Amy smiled indulgently at her husband as she and Serena ate dessert, "Art History is a bit
of a hobby for Greg. He goes to a lot of shows, reads a lot of books. He took a minor
in Art History with his degree."
"Wow." Serena said sincerely. And she meant it.
She watched Darien's smiling face as he exercised knowledge well learned. He was enjoying
himself thoroughly.
But then the dance floor was cleared and lit up and the pianist started playing.
Greg excused himself from the conversation,
"I must ask my lovely wife for a dance now." He said smiling and Darien nodded.
Then he turned to Serena, "Shall we join in?"
She smiled and took his hand. But as he pulled her out on the floor she was suddenly reminded
of his body and it stung some part of her. The part that was only just learning to breath.
She tried to shake it off.
"You and Greg seemed to hit it off."
"He's amazing! I haven't had such a great conversation about art in a long, long time!"
Serena shook her head bewildered, "I never realized....that people...."
"Had more than one interest?"
"Managed to pursue them all." She amended.
He chuckled lightly, "Did you have more than one interest Serena?" He asked, knowing the
answer already.
"Yes."
"What else besides business?"
She met his eyes sadly, "Everything...."
He smiled at her, "Somehow, I'm not surprised."
She smiled back, "Thank you." She said, realizing suddenly, that his words were a
compliment....a real one.
He leaned down to her ear, "Are you going to sing us a song later?"
She stiffened, "No!"
He teased softly, "I think you will!"
"I will not! What would people say?!"
"Probably the same thing I did when I first met you." He laughed, "That you have an
absolutely beautiful voice."
But she shook her head, "Absolutely not."
But as the night waned on and more bottles of wine disappeared.....she began to feel a little
freer. And staying later than eleven for the first time she began to discover things
about her co-workers.....one of them taught dance on the weekends....one of them built
furniture for a hobby.....these people...they had so much more to their lives than work....
Suddenly music seemed like just another hobby to mention....a very natural one....
So when the pianist offered people the chance to play and Darien dragged her up and got
her a microphone, she did the unthinkable....she sang.....an old style love song that
enchanted everyone.
"You stepped out of a dream......and into my life...."
Darien was watching her from the crowd, his eyes aglow with something....admiration....and
....what else?
Amy and Greg met up with him wide-eyed.
"I didn't know she could sing!" Amy whispered.
"Isn't she fantastic?" He replied.
Greg nodded, "She is!"
And truly, with her ivory dress and softly curling hair, she was a different woman at that
moment....everyone present caught a glimpse of something newly awakened.....
"And I can't understand
Is it the way that you planned it
Or chanced it and now here I am?"
She sang and smiled as she relaxed and simply enjoyed it.
When she finished, everyone applauded.
"Thank you, thank you, I hope I did it justice." She said humbly.
Everyone cheered and murmured their approval. She reached Darien as he pulled her into another
dance,
"I can't believe you talked me into that!" She exclaimed, "Thank you!"
He laughed, "You were wonderful! How do you feel?"
"Alive!" She exclaimed joyfully and then laid her head against his shoulder breathlessly
for a moment, "I feel alive."
And his breath caught in his throat. She didn't realize how tender she was being....how
akin to a wife....his heart was burning....
They danced quietly for some time before he could tell she wanted to go.
"Ready to leave?" He asked softly into her hair.
She nodded in his arms, feeling sleepy and a little vulnerable after the whole night.
He forced down the overwhelming wave of love that stroked painfully at his nerves from her
one nod. Times like these the urge to care for her was nearly overwhelming.
And what was the use? He thought bitterly, to have all this beautiful emotion awakened in
him and stifled just beneath his skin....held back....
He led her out into the chill night air and walked towards the car. A swift breeze
picked up and sent a shiver through her and he swung her round to do up her coat and tuck
it up about her neck to keep her warm.
Once again she was reminded of how only Darien had ever made such gestures of tenderness
with her. As though they came to him by instinct. Her own husband had never shown her
such affection. Did she wake this in Darien? That thought disturbed her.
Perhaps it was true though, and perhaps she simply did not inspire it in Alan.
No, no that couldn't be right.
She frowned.
"Something the matter?" He asked, startling her into realizing he'd been watching her.
She turned towards him as they reached the car, "Why did you approach me that first moment?
Why on earth do you keep me for a friend?"
She looked so genuinely curious that he laughed, "That's one of the things I like best
about you Serena. You really haven't realized yet how truly enchanting you are."
She just kept frowning and he laughed at her adorable face as they settled in to drive.
The night air had revived her some and she turned to him, "I'm not half so tired anymore!"
"Why don't we go get some late coffee and cake then?"
"Sounds wonderful!"
"Do you know a place around here? I'm not familiar with this area."
She glanced out the window nervously, they were far to close to Lita and Ken's Bis--
"Hey, what about that bistro over there!" He pointed.
Cursed luck.
"I-I've only been once or twice...are you sure?" She stammered.
"Absolutely. Let's go."
She pulled the car reluctantly in and parked. As they climbed the stairs to the entrance
he turned to her, "You say you come here often?"
"Oh uh no, not very often..." She said a bit wildly.
But Ken was waiting at the desk when they came in, "Serena! Hello! How are you?"
"Fine Ken, just fine."
"You look lovely, were you out this evening?"
"Banquet dinner." She murmured, "Uh, Ken, this is my date Darien."
"Good to meet you sir." Ken said politely, "I'm Ken, the Maitre-di, welcome to the Bistro."
"Thanks." Said Darien, looking vastly amused.
"Can we have my usual table?" Asked Serena with flushed cheeks.
"Of course." Said Ken.
He led them over as Darien muttered, "Don't come very often eh?"
She shot him a look and he laughed.
Ken left them with menus and Darien waited for her to explain.
She rolled her eyes, "Oh for heaven's sake! Alan and I used to come here all the time,
Ken and his wife Lita became friends of mine. Lita's the chef--and just you wait, she'll
be checking you out and getting a big kick out of all of this!"
And as if on cue she spotted Lita doing just that from the kitchen doorway. The Bistro
was empty save for the two of them--thankfully for Darien followed her gaze and grinned
wickedly calling out,
"How do I rate so far?"
Lita's voice called back gaily, "Eleven out of ten from me!"
"Darien!" Hissed Serena.
"Lita!" Cried Ken in exasperation.
Serena and Ken exchanged baleful glances.
Lita watched with real delight as Serena and her date lingered over coffees, laughing--really
laughing and chatting animately.
Ken came over and followed her gaze, "What do you think?"
"She looks happy....he's making her laugh--and he's handsome to boot!"
Ken laughed, "You're a terrible matchmaker!"
"What do you mean! They'd be perfect together--I can tell!!"
Ken smiled indulgently at his wife, "Well, they already are together, so I guess your work
is done."
"No they're not." Lita smiled knowingly.
"Come again?"
"She hasn't realized yet....Serena's very stubborn in love--I get the feeling she doesn't
believe in it....so she can't know she's in it."
Ken looked at them and tried to see it.
Serena's face suddenly changed. Lita rolled her eyes, "Uh oh, I know that face, I'd better
go get dessert..."
"I should go home...I have a lot of work waiting..." Serena said, her voice tinged
with guilt. Besides, this all felt too intimate. The same bistro, the same table.....she
should feel painfully reminded--but she didn't....she felt oddly as though something had
been set right....and that disturbed her far more.
Darien frowned, still amused, "We haven't even had dessert yet! I have twenty paintings
waiting at home and *I'm* having dessert!"
Lita arrived with dessert at this moment, "She looked like she was getting ready to go home
and work so I made dessert!"
Serena rolled her eyes.
"Lita, I already know I'm going to like you." Darien smiled.
Lita winked at him.
Suddenly Ken's voice cut across with mock sterness, "Woman, get back in the kitchen!"
Lita laughed but offered her hand to Darien first, "It's good to meet you."
Darien shook it and grinned, "You too. Anyone who gives me an eleven out of ten makes
a good friend."
They chuckled together and Lita left. Serena shook her head at them but it sat oddly with
her that Lita seemed so taken with him--she'd never seemed very fond of Alan.
She looked at Darien wonderingly. He was charming. She'd always known that.
And due to the odd journey of their relationship, she knew first and foremost that he was
a wonderful lover and now that he was a beautiful friend.
She wondered uneasily if those weren't the two things necessary to make love but tried to
push that thought back. It was too much, with everything else going on, with her spirit
just flowering out new she couldn't handle having that one certainty shaken.
There was no such thing as love. Couldn't be.
She could not resolve such a romantic thing with the practicalities of her life, of her job.
And yet....Darien had come to the banquet, fit in fine and revealed things about her close
friends and colleagues that she never knew. Things that suggested such a compromise was
quite possible.
And it wasn't just easy to picture the rest of her life with Darien--it was impossible to
imagine him out of it.
But it was too beautiful. Too perfect. Something was missing. Something.
~I'm too confused and uneven....I can't love him....I can't.~
But somehow at that moment she knew......that contrary to everything she had once believed--to
everything she had once been.....she loved him.
The realization caused her to pale and catch her breath so suddenly that Darien's smile
vanished and he asked her if she was alright. She looked like she'd just seen a ghost.
They bid Ken and Lita farewell and drove home rather silently. Serena was lost in thought.
~I love him? Oh no! This can't be....what am I supposed to do?~
But then the truth struck her like a blow to the face,
~He doesn't love me.~
That one statement turned her every new emotion to ice. He didn't love her back so none
of it mattered. All he felt--all he had ever felt was the attraction between them.
They pulled into his parking lot and she turned off the engine, "C'mon, I'll walk you up."
She said absently, her heart feeling sick.
He nodded curiously. When they reached his door, deja vu hung heavy in the air and her
eyes looked so strange....vulnerable...and...something else?
Something that made him lose it completely.
"Thanks for coming on short notice." She said, not meeting his eyes.
"My pleasure." He returned softly and tilted her chin up, looking at her beautiful dress,
her soft hair, "I'd say your transformation's complete butterfly."
She looked into his eyes then, saw them darken with that familiar desire and felt--for the
first times--a pang of something in her heart as it longed for the real thing.
He watched it flash across her eyes and his face frowned with curious pain, he took her by
the shoulders, "That's it.....I can't...I can't do this anymore..."
And he pulled her into his arms and into a kiss, murmuring desperately as he did,
"It's too much...it's too much...."
And for one moment, made long by it's significance? she was kissing him back, returning
his desire with the hunger he had longed for all these months. In fact, she pressed him
back against his door taking the kiss deeper herself before tearing herself away, her voice
choked with pain,
"No, we can't!"
But Darien looked back desperately at her, "I can't go on like this! I..I want to be with you."
Serena's eyes filled with tears, "But we can't....this isn't real."
And the words cut them both to the heart.
He looked at her for one long anguished moment before turning his back on her,
"Then I can't--I can't see you anymore." He choked out.
Her face crumpled as she bit back a sob, "I know....I know...." She moaned and he clenched
his fists to keep from turning round and reaching for her.
He waited till he heard her turn and run back down the hall before turning round to watch her,
her beautiful white dress trailing after her, like an angel down the dark hall.....
Then he pushed open his door and crept into his apartment, only to find she was everywhere.
In the kitchen, in the loft...in the bedroom.....everywhere....he fell to his knees by the
window and stared out into the night in agony.
She was gone. It was over--no that wasn't true. There was one last thing to do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Only one chapter left to go! ^_~
Chapter 6
Author: Silent Moon
mail: silentmoonstar@yahoo.com
rated: R
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Darien sat in his apartment some days later, sketching aimlessly....thoughts elsewhere.
He had a big show coming up....and though he was prepared so far as having all the work
ready was concerned...he was not ready otherwise.
His life would change forever. It was to be one of those ironic, make or break, life
altering moments....
He tossed down his pencil and pad with frustration. But then resigned himself with a sigh.
It was all for the best really, he couldn't continue with Serena in this fashion, it was
killing him....slowly....smile after smile....
The phone rang, bringing him back to reality a bit,
"Hullo?"
"Darien, I need you to be my date tonight!" Serena's panicked voice squeaked out.
He laughed, "This 'friends only' thing lasted long." He joked.
"You tease but I'm in such a panic! There's a big banquet dinner and ball at the hotel
downtown for my office--I forgot all about it! Everyone's heard I've split up with Alan
and....I just CAN'T show up without a date!"
He sighed with mock indulgence on the other end, "Alright."
"Oh, I'm so afraid everyone will be talking--you don't think it'll be a scandal do you?"
"No, I don't."
She seemed to breath a sigh of relief at this.
"How long do I have to get ready?" He asked.
"We have to leave now." She informed him.
"Now? But I haven't got a tux or anything!"
There was a knock at his door.
"Just a sec there's someone at the d--" He opened the door to find Serena, dressed to kill
with a tux over her arm for him.
She smiled bewitchingly at him, "Please?"
He grinned shaking his head at her and took the tux, "Give me five minutes." And then
he rushed madly to the bathroom.
She laughed, "Thank you!" She sang out after him.
She could hear the sounds of him shaving and washing up and then he walked out...
She caught her breath. She'd never seen him dressed up. Shaved and combed neatly, with
that tuxedo on, he looked a part of a different life. Her life.
Suddenly she realized....how little difference there really was? Could that be right?
"How is it," She quipped dryly, "That men can look stunning in five minutes and it takes
me three hours?"
He chuckled, "I'll take that as a compliment."
"You look wonderful." She smiled, and offered her arm.
"You look gorgeous." He returned and he meant it. He got a look at her again
coming out of the bathroom.....her hair was done up loosely with long tendrils curling
about her neck and throat....there were flowers tied in....and her dress...it said it all.
No sleek black business dress for her this time. It was creamy and soft and absolutely
perfect. The sparkle to her lips paled in comparison.
They hurried down to her car.
"This is a great tux," He said as they drove, "Just the right size--how did you guess?"
She smiled, "I know a little about tuxedos..."
He laughed at her mysteriousness about it.
"Where'd you rent it from?"
Now she chuckled, "I didn't. It's yours, a thank you for helping me out in a pinch."
"Serena, I couldn't! It must have cost you a fortune!"
"Nonsense! And now you'll have one if you ever need it again!"
He shook his head. There was no arguing with her.
They swept into the banquet dinner with all the grace of an important couple. Darien
made a handsome escort and there was much clucking and whispering about him. He laughed
it off good naturedly with Serena as they sat with Greg and a very radiant looking
Amy at a little table off to one side.
Amy stood to greet her, "Hello Serena!"
"Amy, you look wonderful!" She exclaimed, "You're absolutely glowing!"
Amy grinned then and looked some ten years younger, blushing.
"Thank you, you look absolutely beautiful yourself!"
Serena shrugged it off, "Thanks. Oh! This is my date Darien. Darien, this is Amy
and her husband Greg."
"Nice to meet you." Greg said shaking his hand.
"Darien....where have I heard that name before?" Amy murmured as they sat.
"He's Rei's cousin." Serena said.
"Oh! That's right! You gave me that exquisite bear! Thank you so much!"
Darien smiled, "Rei let the cat out of the bag eh? Well, congratulations and I'm happy
you liked the bear."
Amy smiled back while Serena once again fought to bite back a painful sensation too
strong to name. She shook herself. Alan was gone. The possibility of having children
was very real in her future....so why did this strange sensation refuse to dissipate?
Dinner arrived shortly after and they chatted at length over steak and salad and wine.
Serena, Amy and Greg talked about work and Darien politely listened. Then Greg
turned to him,
"What do you do Darien?"
Darien smiled, "I'm a painter actually. Got my Fine Arts mostly in Japan and then came to
America to finish."
"Really? Are you fluent in Japanese?"
"It's my first language actually. My mother was from Japan and my father from England.
He taught me to speak English but I rarely had chance till I came here."
"Do you find growing up in Japan has influenced your work?" Amy piped in with interest and
Serena herself became enraptured. They rarely talked about his work, she realized with
a pang of guilt.
"Some. Studying influenced me the most. I fell in love with Impressionism and read up
on it as much as I could."
"Is that the style you paint in yourself?"
"I mix up a lot of styles I think....but yes, I am fairly classical and there's definitely
a sense of impressionism to my work."
Amy laughed, "Serena must know." She turned to her friend, "You must have seen some of his
work--what do you think?"
Darien started a bit and so did Serena, but she surprised him by saying, "Actually,
I did go see his last show..."
"Oh, what was it called?" Asked Greg in a tone that implied he'd been to a couple.
"Why Are Trees Beautiful..." She said softly and met Darien's eyes for the first time.
There was something in them that made her shiver.
"So...how would you describe his work?"
And for once, Serena, who knew anything and everything about business, felt dumb...and
one sided. How did these people know about art? Was everyone three dimensional while she
was merely two?
She laughed a little nervously, "Oh, I'm afraid I don't know much about painting. I couldn't
say what style they resembled. But, they were absolutely beautiful..."
Amy and Greg smiled and nodded and Darien tried to tear his eyes away from hers but they were
locked together in emotion for one tense moment that made Greg arch an eyebrow at his wife.
And then, to Serena's complete surprise, Darien and Greg dove into a heavy discussion about
art history and bantered good naturedly for some time.
Amy smiled indulgently at her husband as she and Serena ate dessert, "Art History is a bit
of a hobby for Greg. He goes to a lot of shows, reads a lot of books. He took a minor
in Art History with his degree."
"Wow." Serena said sincerely. And she meant it.
She watched Darien's smiling face as he exercised knowledge well learned. He was enjoying
himself thoroughly.
But then the dance floor was cleared and lit up and the pianist started playing.
Greg excused himself from the conversation,
"I must ask my lovely wife for a dance now." He said smiling and Darien nodded.
Then he turned to Serena, "Shall we join in?"
She smiled and took his hand. But as he pulled her out on the floor she was suddenly reminded
of his body and it stung some part of her. The part that was only just learning to breath.
She tried to shake it off.
"You and Greg seemed to hit it off."
"He's amazing! I haven't had such a great conversation about art in a long, long time!"
Serena shook her head bewildered, "I never realized....that people...."
"Had more than one interest?"
"Managed to pursue them all." She amended.
He chuckled lightly, "Did you have more than one interest Serena?" He asked, knowing the
answer already.
"Yes."
"What else besides business?"
She met his eyes sadly, "Everything...."
He smiled at her, "Somehow, I'm not surprised."
She smiled back, "Thank you." She said, realizing suddenly, that his words were a
compliment....a real one.
He leaned down to her ear, "Are you going to sing us a song later?"
She stiffened, "No!"
He teased softly, "I think you will!"
"I will not! What would people say?!"
"Probably the same thing I did when I first met you." He laughed, "That you have an
absolutely beautiful voice."
But she shook her head, "Absolutely not."
But as the night waned on and more bottles of wine disappeared.....she began to feel a little
freer. And staying later than eleven for the first time she began to discover things
about her co-workers.....one of them taught dance on the weekends....one of them built
furniture for a hobby.....these people...they had so much more to their lives than work....
Suddenly music seemed like just another hobby to mention....a very natural one....
So when the pianist offered people the chance to play and Darien dragged her up and got
her a microphone, she did the unthinkable....she sang.....an old style love song that
enchanted everyone.
"You stepped out of a dream......and into my life...."
Darien was watching her from the crowd, his eyes aglow with something....admiration....and
....what else?
Amy and Greg met up with him wide-eyed.
"I didn't know she could sing!" Amy whispered.
"Isn't she fantastic?" He replied.
Greg nodded, "She is!"
And truly, with her ivory dress and softly curling hair, she was a different woman at that
moment....everyone present caught a glimpse of something newly awakened.....
"And I can't understand
Is it the way that you planned it
Or chanced it and now here I am?"
She sang and smiled as she relaxed and simply enjoyed it.
When she finished, everyone applauded.
"Thank you, thank you, I hope I did it justice." She said humbly.
Everyone cheered and murmured their approval. She reached Darien as he pulled her into another
dance,
"I can't believe you talked me into that!" She exclaimed, "Thank you!"
He laughed, "You were wonderful! How do you feel?"
"Alive!" She exclaimed joyfully and then laid her head against his shoulder breathlessly
for a moment, "I feel alive."
And his breath caught in his throat. She didn't realize how tender she was being....how
akin to a wife....his heart was burning....
They danced quietly for some time before he could tell she wanted to go.
"Ready to leave?" He asked softly into her hair.
She nodded in his arms, feeling sleepy and a little vulnerable after the whole night.
He forced down the overwhelming wave of love that stroked painfully at his nerves from her
one nod. Times like these the urge to care for her was nearly overwhelming.
And what was the use? He thought bitterly, to have all this beautiful emotion awakened in
him and stifled just beneath his skin....held back....
He led her out into the chill night air and walked towards the car. A swift breeze
picked up and sent a shiver through her and he swung her round to do up her coat and tuck
it up about her neck to keep her warm.
Once again she was reminded of how only Darien had ever made such gestures of tenderness
with her. As though they came to him by instinct. Her own husband had never shown her
such affection. Did she wake this in Darien? That thought disturbed her.
Perhaps it was true though, and perhaps she simply did not inspire it in Alan.
No, no that couldn't be right.
She frowned.
"Something the matter?" He asked, startling her into realizing he'd been watching her.
She turned towards him as they reached the car, "Why did you approach me that first moment?
Why on earth do you keep me for a friend?"
She looked so genuinely curious that he laughed, "That's one of the things I like best
about you Serena. You really haven't realized yet how truly enchanting you are."
She just kept frowning and he laughed at her adorable face as they settled in to drive.
The night air had revived her some and she turned to him, "I'm not half so tired anymore!"
"Why don't we go get some late coffee and cake then?"
"Sounds wonderful!"
"Do you know a place around here? I'm not familiar with this area."
She glanced out the window nervously, they were far to close to Lita and Ken's Bis--
"Hey, what about that bistro over there!" He pointed.
Cursed luck.
"I-I've only been once or twice...are you sure?" She stammered.
"Absolutely. Let's go."
She pulled the car reluctantly in and parked. As they climbed the stairs to the entrance
he turned to her, "You say you come here often?"
"Oh uh no, not very often..." She said a bit wildly.
But Ken was waiting at the desk when they came in, "Serena! Hello! How are you?"
"Fine Ken, just fine."
"You look lovely, were you out this evening?"
"Banquet dinner." She murmured, "Uh, Ken, this is my date Darien."
"Good to meet you sir." Ken said politely, "I'm Ken, the Maitre-di, welcome to the Bistro."
"Thanks." Said Darien, looking vastly amused.
"Can we have my usual table?" Asked Serena with flushed cheeks.
"Of course." Said Ken.
He led them over as Darien muttered, "Don't come very often eh?"
She shot him a look and he laughed.
Ken left them with menus and Darien waited for her to explain.
She rolled her eyes, "Oh for heaven's sake! Alan and I used to come here all the time,
Ken and his wife Lita became friends of mine. Lita's the chef--and just you wait, she'll
be checking you out and getting a big kick out of all of this!"
And as if on cue she spotted Lita doing just that from the kitchen doorway. The Bistro
was empty save for the two of them--thankfully for Darien followed her gaze and grinned
wickedly calling out,
"How do I rate so far?"
Lita's voice called back gaily, "Eleven out of ten from me!"
"Darien!" Hissed Serena.
"Lita!" Cried Ken in exasperation.
Serena and Ken exchanged baleful glances.
Lita watched with real delight as Serena and her date lingered over coffees, laughing--really
laughing and chatting animately.
Ken came over and followed her gaze, "What do you think?"
"She looks happy....he's making her laugh--and he's handsome to boot!"
Ken laughed, "You're a terrible matchmaker!"
"What do you mean! They'd be perfect together--I can tell!!"
Ken smiled indulgently at his wife, "Well, they already are together, so I guess your work
is done."
"No they're not." Lita smiled knowingly.
"Come again?"
"She hasn't realized yet....Serena's very stubborn in love--I get the feeling she doesn't
believe in it....so she can't know she's in it."
Ken looked at them and tried to see it.
Serena's face suddenly changed. Lita rolled her eyes, "Uh oh, I know that face, I'd better
go get dessert..."
"I should go home...I have a lot of work waiting..." Serena said, her voice tinged
with guilt. Besides, this all felt too intimate. The same bistro, the same table.....she
should feel painfully reminded--but she didn't....she felt oddly as though something had
been set right....and that disturbed her far more.
Darien frowned, still amused, "We haven't even had dessert yet! I have twenty paintings
waiting at home and *I'm* having dessert!"
Lita arrived with dessert at this moment, "She looked like she was getting ready to go home
and work so I made dessert!"
Serena rolled her eyes.
"Lita, I already know I'm going to like you." Darien smiled.
Lita winked at him.
Suddenly Ken's voice cut across with mock sterness, "Woman, get back in the kitchen!"
Lita laughed but offered her hand to Darien first, "It's good to meet you."
Darien shook it and grinned, "You too. Anyone who gives me an eleven out of ten makes
a good friend."
They chuckled together and Lita left. Serena shook her head at them but it sat oddly with
her that Lita seemed so taken with him--she'd never seemed very fond of Alan.
She looked at Darien wonderingly. He was charming. She'd always known that.
And due to the odd journey of their relationship, she knew first and foremost that he was
a wonderful lover and now that he was a beautiful friend.
She wondered uneasily if those weren't the two things necessary to make love but tried to
push that thought back. It was too much, with everything else going on, with her spirit
just flowering out new she couldn't handle having that one certainty shaken.
There was no such thing as love. Couldn't be.
She could not resolve such a romantic thing with the practicalities of her life, of her job.
And yet....Darien had come to the banquet, fit in fine and revealed things about her close
friends and colleagues that she never knew. Things that suggested such a compromise was
quite possible.
And it wasn't just easy to picture the rest of her life with Darien--it was impossible to
imagine him out of it.
But it was too beautiful. Too perfect. Something was missing. Something.
~I'm too confused and uneven....I can't love him....I can't.~
But somehow at that moment she knew......that contrary to everything she had once believed--to
everything she had once been.....she loved him.
The realization caused her to pale and catch her breath so suddenly that Darien's smile
vanished and he asked her if she was alright. She looked like she'd just seen a ghost.
They bid Ken and Lita farewell and drove home rather silently. Serena was lost in thought.
~I love him? Oh no! This can't be....what am I supposed to do?~
But then the truth struck her like a blow to the face,
~He doesn't love me.~
That one statement turned her every new emotion to ice. He didn't love her back so none
of it mattered. All he felt--all he had ever felt was the attraction between them.
They pulled into his parking lot and she turned off the engine, "C'mon, I'll walk you up."
She said absently, her heart feeling sick.
He nodded curiously. When they reached his door, deja vu hung heavy in the air and her
eyes looked so strange....vulnerable...and...something else?
Something that made him lose it completely.
"Thanks for coming on short notice." She said, not meeting his eyes.
"My pleasure." He returned softly and tilted her chin up, looking at her beautiful dress,
her soft hair, "I'd say your transformation's complete butterfly."
She looked into his eyes then, saw them darken with that familiar desire and felt--for the
first times--a pang of something in her heart as it longed for the real thing.
He watched it flash across her eyes and his face frowned with curious pain, he took her by
the shoulders, "That's it.....I can't...I can't do this anymore..."
And he pulled her into his arms and into a kiss, murmuring desperately as he did,
"It's too much...it's too much...."
And for one moment, made long by it's significance? she was kissing him back, returning
his desire with the hunger he had longed for all these months. In fact, she pressed him
back against his door taking the kiss deeper herself before tearing herself away, her voice
choked with pain,
"No, we can't!"
But Darien looked back desperately at her, "I can't go on like this! I..I want to be with you."
Serena's eyes filled with tears, "But we can't....this isn't real."
And the words cut them both to the heart.
He looked at her for one long anguished moment before turning his back on her,
"Then I can't--I can't see you anymore." He choked out.
Her face crumpled as she bit back a sob, "I know....I know...." She moaned and he clenched
his fists to keep from turning round and reaching for her.
He waited till he heard her turn and run back down the hall before turning round to watch her,
her beautiful white dress trailing after her, like an angel down the dark hall.....
Then he pushed open his door and crept into his apartment, only to find she was everywhere.
In the kitchen, in the loft...in the bedroom.....everywhere....he fell to his knees by the
window and stared out into the night in agony.
She was gone. It was over--no that wasn't true. There was one last thing to do.
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Only one chapter left to go! ^_~