~ * ~ * ~

The Bursar made a face as he swallowed the dried frog pill and then stuck his tongue out, possibly to prove he'd swallowed it. Ridcully frowned, and waved his hand through the air; the small glass of water he'd magicked disappeared in a shower of sparks.

"Oooh, flowers and stars, my cucumbers are here!" the Bursar said faintly. He appeared to find this terribly funny and started to giggle, listing over to one side on his chair and rolling his eyes. Ridcully sighed and moved round to take his seat behind the wide desk, shaking his head while he watched the Bursar's rising mirth. The dried frog pills that Ponder Stibbons had come up with were good, but sometimes they took a while to kick in and start working. The Bursar covered his mouth with his hand, peeking wide-eyed over the top, shoulders shaking, but still the giggles escaped, getting as far away from him as possible.

"Oh bless my hat, the auntie said no! Noooo to the bananas and the fish!" the Bursar suddenly shouted. "No, by the love of cabbage and I told you, it's the custard, you know! By the Gods, yes!"

He blinked, his eyes opening wide, and appeared to realise where he was for the first time. His gaze focused in on the towering height of Ridcully's vermine and octarine trimmed hat and then wandered down over the impressively embroidered robe, stopping when it reached the edge of the wide wooden desk. "Errrr – errrrrrm ……..Archchancellor?" he asked cautiously. "Is that you?"

"Ah," Ridcully boomed. "Back with us again, eh Dean, old boy? Good, good. Now, were you coming to see me about something?" He raised his eyebrows questioningly.

The Bursar hesitated. Various expressions rushed across his face, tried it on for size and decided they didn't want to stay. Eventually mild confusion tried, left for a moment, came back and settled in for a bit, deciding to see how it went before making a permanent decision. "Errrrrr – someone to see you?" he hazarded wildly.

"Yes?" Ridcully encouraged. He smiled though this didn't quite have the effect he'd hoped for. It just made the Bursar twitch a little more.

"Yes, I think that was it. There's someone to see you." The Bursar blinked rapidly. "Um."

Ridcully looked round, although there was nobody in the office but the Bursar and himself. "Well, where are they, man?"

"In – err – in - my office," the Bursar guessed in a sudden stroke of genius. "Maybe?"

Ridcully heaved himself to his feet and clapped the Bursar on the shoulder. "Well, let's go and see them. Who is it, by the way? Can you remember?"

The Bursar swallowed and his eyes misted over at the thought of the black-haired, green-eyed girl who had undulated into his office. "It's, it's the – err – it's your niece, Archchancellor," he squeaked. "Agnetha."

~ * ~ * ~

Agnetha had stuffed the Cheeper back into her pocket, deciding that she would go back to the shop and get a refund. Or another, more polite version that didn't laugh at people. She thought she'd possibly have a look at the manual when she went home, though, first. Just in case she'd gone blind without noticing. The muffled giggles from the imp had finally stopped and been replaced by faint snoring. She'd inspected the box carefully, but still couldn't see anything on its smooth, flat surface that could be mistaken for numbers or keys or anything else. She sighed and returned her attention to gazing out of the window, deciding that once she'd seen her uncle, she would stop by the offices of the Dating Society and see who - she hoped it was a who and not a what - that nice lady behind the counter had found for her.

Eventually even the hurrying figures in the courtyard began to bore her. She giggled slightly as one young wizard was sent spinning into the air by his companions, robe billowing around him, but even that small amusement didn't last very long. She sighed and decided she'd had enough of cooling her heels in the Bursar's cramped office – she could always come back later to see Ridcully, and she was desperate to know about her (hopefully) forthcoming date…. As quietly as possible, she flowed over to the door and cautiously opened it, peering round the gap. Satisfied that no-one was heading her way, she slipped out and made her way down the corridor, heading (she hoped) for the door that led into the courtyard and the gates. Shouldn't be too hard, she thought, she'd come in easily enough. But even as she made her way out of the Bursar's office, a wall sprang up behind her, where no wall had been before…..

The Unseen University got bored every now and again with the way it looked. And having absorbed vast levels of magic over the years, it was quite capable now and again of reorganising itself – the wizards were used to it by now and didn't pay too much attention, except to make sure they knew where the dining hall had gone. And it had decided that today was a changing rooms day.

~ * ~ * ~

The Bursar scurried along behind the striding figure of Ridcully, trotting quickly to keep up. Figures scattered in front of Ridcully as he barged through; the students were used to seeing him pound round the corridors and had their evasive manoeuvres off to a tee. At least this time he wasn't running or wearing those odd things he called "shorts". The sight of his hairy knees pounding along had sent more than one student wizard into hysterics, resulting in smelling salts and on one occasion, revival by banana. The librarian had been involved. It hadn't been pleasant. No, you don't want to know. Really.

Without looking over his shoulder, the Archchanceller boomed, "What does she want, eh? What does she want, that's the question!"

The Bursar shrugged and twitched. He was starting to feel slightly odd again. "I don't know, Archchancellor," he replied faintly. "Something she came to see you last frog – er, week, about?"

Some faculty members were not quite so well prepared and the Dean of Seventh Level Studies, Winder Spoonsall, let out a nervous yelp as the Archchancellor's figure appeared unheralded round the corner, moving fast. "Ah, Dean!" Ridcully shouted as he spied the wizard trying desperately to get into a locked room. "Come along with us, man. My niece is here. Perhaps you can help out!"

"Ah, hahaha, h – hello, Ridcully," the Dean faltered. "Actually, I was just – er -"

"Nonsense!" Ridcully boomed as he swept past. "Come along!"

~ * ~ * ~

The three wizards came to an abrupt halt, almost skidding in their haste to stop before they ploughed into the wall that had appeared in the middle of the hallway.

"Hmmm." Ridcully leaned forward, glaring suspiciously, and put out a hand. The solid brick wall in front of them quivered slightly. His eyebrows beetled together and he turned his gaze to the Bursar. "Is this yours?" he asked, as if the Bursar had possibly put it down and forgotten about it.

"Er, no, no, I don't frog – think so," the Bursar replied. "Whoops! I would have remembered. Stars and trees, the custard is here!"

Ridcully rolled his eyes and exchanged glances with the Dean. "Needs a higher dosage, I think. We'll have to see Ponder," he said. "Bloody place must be moving round again. Now, how do we get to the Bursar's room, then? Hmmmmm?"

Winder pointed to one side. "How about that staircase that's just appeared?" he suggested. "We could try that."

~ * ~ * ~

Agnetha, more by good luck than judgement, eventually reached the courtyard. She was sure there hadn't been quite so many turnings on the way, or so many bruised wizards wandering round but at last she was outside. And All Soul's Alley was just round the corner from the University. She pulled her coat more tightly round her, causing several student wizard eyes to bulge more than necessary, glided towards the gates, and headed for the Dating Society's offices.

The bell tinkled as she pushed open the door and peered towards the counter at the back of the room. Mrs Frost, alerted by the tinkle, came rushing from the backroom, peering through the potplants that crowded the office. When she saw Agnetha, her face split into a huge and slightly scary smile.

"Ah, hellooo, my dear! Come along in and take a seat," she gushed. "You must have received my message. Ay must say, Ay'm so pleased for you!"

Agnetha blinked. "Well, no – I - You are?"

"Why, yes. Such a suitable gentleman! Ay'm sure you'll get on famously. A Mr De'ath. Ay have his details here," she was rummaging amongst the papers on her desk, "and he's certainly looking forward to seeing you."

"When – when are we meeting?" Agnetha asked anxiously.

"Well, he's a business man, you know, so he's busy for the next few days. Ay've set you up for next week, dear. The first night of the full moon – sooo romantic, don't you agree?"

Agnetha swallowed, heart sinking. She could already hear it in her mind. "Ah. Yes. How lovely," she replied faintly. "Romantic. Umm. I – er – I – it will certainly be interesting."