Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy or Mystikal's lyrics….T_T
*I hate Rinoa.
"Okay, Seifer! Stand up right where you are."
Seifer stood, looking suspiciously at Irvine.
"Do you think it's right to hit girls?"
Seifer contemplated this for a moment before he replied, "No."
Irvine smiled inwardly. "What went on with you and Rinoa, anyway?"
Rinoa jumped up before Seifer had even opened his mouth.
"Why the fuck does everyone ask us that?! God, it's nobody else's biz, so mind your own! And furthermore, it's not like anyhting really happened between us. I mean, Seifer was just to brash and he always tried to touch my tits in public and shove his tongue down my throat. Then he'd bring out Hyperion all the time- isn't that stupid, naming a weapon? I mean, I don't call my Frisbee™ thing anything. Only some fucked-up bastard who can't get anyhting would do that. And I always suspected he was gay, especially when he wanted to come to the malle strippers night at the bar. And then he just stole that Playgirl away from Zell and put it in- "
Seifer swung his fist out and caught Rinoa right in the nose. She collapsed on the floor, dead. Everyone cheered, Squall being the loudest.
"Was that it?" Seifer asked Irvine. The cowboy nodded, a little nervously.
"Oh, my god," Seifer said, "that was THE most pathetic, stupid, dickwad coward assfuck retard shit-for-brains thing I've ever had to do. Even going to Dollet for that idiotic SeeD exam wasn't as fucked as that."
Irvine's eyes filled with tears and he raced out of the room.
"Sissy fag," the blonde spat.
Everyone glared at him.
"I mean, that silly fudgemonkey! Heh heh…"
"You're certainly one to talk," Quistis said pointedly.
Selphie jumped up and waved her arms around. "Never mind! It's not important. Let's just keep going."
Seifer shot Squall a withering glare. Squall withered.
Alrighty, then, thought Seifer, for he knew the perfect thing to do- not only would it reveal Squall's true personality, but it would also give himself a little scene to get off on.
Without hesitation, Seifer whipped out a rope and grabbed a surprised Zell by the hair.
"Bend over, Zell," he said.
Zell's eyes widened, along with everyone else's. (Except Rinoa, who was lying on the floor, dead.)
Seifer slapped his forehead. "No, you sick assholes!"
Everyone gaped.
"Argg, what the fuck's wrong with me?! I keep digging myself into a deeper hole! Fine, Chicken-wuss, you don't have to…not right now, anyway."
Zell appeared to be relieved, but secretly he wanted whatever was coming to him.
"Insane psycho bitch- I mean, Selphie, do you have another stereo?" Seifer asked.
"I think I do, motherfucking bastard- I mean, Seifer! Let me go fetch it," Selphie replied sweetly.
"I always thought Selphie was a dog," mused Seifer after she'd left.
Zell was shaking with fear. "I refuse to dance! Dancing has been overdone!"
"Too bad, dipshit. You're gonna doance for all of us- Squall, especially."
Squall didn't respond, which was normal, but only because he was trying on one of Selphie's many yellow jumpers. Oddly enough, it fit him. Seifer only shook his head.
"I'm back!" Selphie screeched, holding a giant stereo in her hand.
"Damn," muttered Zell. Selphie heard him and wsa about to smash his nuts when Seifer grabbed her leg.
"Don't!" he cried, "If you do that, it'll spoil everything!"
Selphie held her hands up. "Okay, okay! Would you calm your hormones?!"
"No, I would not!" Seifer whined.
"Shut the fuck up!" Quistis yelled.
"How do you shut a fuck?" Squall wondered aloud.
Selphie plugged the stereo. She held up Mystikal's "Let's Get Ready". "Is this the one you wanted, motherfucking bastard?" she asked Seifer. He nodded.
She popped the CD into the stereo and turned the volume up.
"Dance, Pool Boy- I mean, Zell!" Seifer called. "And pay attention, Squall!"
Squall stopped trying on the dresses.
And then he broke out into song- well, he sang along:
"Shake ya ass!
But watch yourself!
Shake ya ass!
Show me what you're workin' with!
Shake ya ass!
But watch yourself!
Shake ya ass!
I came here with my dick in my hand (demonstrates)
Don't make me leave here with my foot in yo ass, be cool!
And don't worry bout how I'm rippin' this shit,
When I'm flippin', when I'm dickin' nigga, this just what I do!
I'm effervescent and I'm off that crescent nastier than a full-grown German shepard
Motherfucker, keep steppin'
They won't fuck with me, and they don't
Yall bitches can't catch me, and you won't
Tell ya self, bitch ass throw that pussy
I'm proud of my poo nanny (?) and a dollar for my booty
You think I'm trippin' bitch, I ain't trippin'
I'm buying if you got nice curves for your iceberg
Drinking here acting like it's gonna do something to me
Hope this indecent proposal will make ya do somthin' with me
Fuck a dollar, girl, pick up fifty
And fuck that coward, girl, you need a real nigga!
Off top a nigga bout hurtin' shit
Bend over, ho, show me what you're workin' with!"
Needless to say, everyone was amazed at how Squall knew the lyrics. But what was even more shocking was the fact that Zell could actually dance to the rhyme.
And there he was, shaking, gyrating and rubbing his ass up against Squall just like in the video. Squall was horribly aroused.
"Okay, now for the best part!" Seifer announced, bringing out the rope again and grabbing Zell's wrists.
He tied and knotted the rope around Zell's wrists and then attached it to his ankles, making the blonde boy bend over so sharply it did a number on his nuts, all in one quick motion.
Squall froze.
There was Zell, this lucious piece of ass, wearing nut-huggers- white ones, no less- in the perfect position, right in front of him.
There were two angels sitting on Squall's shoulders, one good and the other bad.
Before the white one even got to open its mouth, Squall had picked it up and thrown it across the room. He did the same to the devil angel (_) and yanked Zell's nut-huggers down, along with his own pants, and started going at him like an animal.
Quistis and Selphie stared at the two in horror.
Seifer was also staring at them, but drool was coming out of his mouth and he had a huge boner.
Fifteen minutes later, Zell had blown his load (hitting Seifer in the eye for the second time) and Squall had collapsed with exhaustion on the floor.
"Oh, god," whispered Selphie, "I…never…figured…"
"Silly girl!" Quistis scolded. "It should've been obvious from the start!"
Seifer was in a dead faint.
Quistis slapped him and he jumped up with a start.
Zell was lying on the floor, sheer ecstasy on his face.
"I think that we ought to wrap this all up," Selphie sighed.
"Okay, then," Quistis agreed, "what's gonna be next?"
PiskyBoo: Yes, what IS gonna be next? Stay tuned, kids!
*I hate Rinoa.
"Okay, Seifer! Stand up right where you are."
Seifer stood, looking suspiciously at Irvine.
"Do you think it's right to hit girls?"
Seifer contemplated this for a moment before he replied, "No."
Irvine smiled inwardly. "What went on with you and Rinoa, anyway?"
Rinoa jumped up before Seifer had even opened his mouth.
"Why the fuck does everyone ask us that?! God, it's nobody else's biz, so mind your own! And furthermore, it's not like anyhting really happened between us. I mean, Seifer was just to brash and he always tried to touch my tits in public and shove his tongue down my throat. Then he'd bring out Hyperion all the time- isn't that stupid, naming a weapon? I mean, I don't call my Frisbee™ thing anything. Only some fucked-up bastard who can't get anyhting would do that. And I always suspected he was gay, especially when he wanted to come to the malle strippers night at the bar. And then he just stole that Playgirl away from Zell and put it in- "
Seifer swung his fist out and caught Rinoa right in the nose. She collapsed on the floor, dead. Everyone cheered, Squall being the loudest.
"Was that it?" Seifer asked Irvine. The cowboy nodded, a little nervously.
"Oh, my god," Seifer said, "that was THE most pathetic, stupid, dickwad coward assfuck retard shit-for-brains thing I've ever had to do. Even going to Dollet for that idiotic SeeD exam wasn't as fucked as that."
Irvine's eyes filled with tears and he raced out of the room.
"Sissy fag," the blonde spat.
Everyone glared at him.
"I mean, that silly fudgemonkey! Heh heh…"
"You're certainly one to talk," Quistis said pointedly.
Selphie jumped up and waved her arms around. "Never mind! It's not important. Let's just keep going."
Seifer shot Squall a withering glare. Squall withered.
Alrighty, then, thought Seifer, for he knew the perfect thing to do- not only would it reveal Squall's true personality, but it would also give himself a little scene to get off on.
Without hesitation, Seifer whipped out a rope and grabbed a surprised Zell by the hair.
"Bend over, Zell," he said.
Zell's eyes widened, along with everyone else's. (Except Rinoa, who was lying on the floor, dead.)
Seifer slapped his forehead. "No, you sick assholes!"
Everyone gaped.
"Argg, what the fuck's wrong with me?! I keep digging myself into a deeper hole! Fine, Chicken-wuss, you don't have to…not right now, anyway."
Zell appeared to be relieved, but secretly he wanted whatever was coming to him.
"Insane psycho bitch- I mean, Selphie, do you have another stereo?" Seifer asked.
"I think I do, motherfucking bastard- I mean, Seifer! Let me go fetch it," Selphie replied sweetly.
"I always thought Selphie was a dog," mused Seifer after she'd left.
Zell was shaking with fear. "I refuse to dance! Dancing has been overdone!"
"Too bad, dipshit. You're gonna doance for all of us- Squall, especially."
Squall didn't respond, which was normal, but only because he was trying on one of Selphie's many yellow jumpers. Oddly enough, it fit him. Seifer only shook his head.
"I'm back!" Selphie screeched, holding a giant stereo in her hand.
"Damn," muttered Zell. Selphie heard him and wsa about to smash his nuts when Seifer grabbed her leg.
"Don't!" he cried, "If you do that, it'll spoil everything!"
Selphie held her hands up. "Okay, okay! Would you calm your hormones?!"
"No, I would not!" Seifer whined.
"Shut the fuck up!" Quistis yelled.
"How do you shut a fuck?" Squall wondered aloud.
Selphie plugged the stereo. She held up Mystikal's "Let's Get Ready". "Is this the one you wanted, motherfucking bastard?" she asked Seifer. He nodded.
She popped the CD into the stereo and turned the volume up.
"Dance, Pool Boy- I mean, Zell!" Seifer called. "And pay attention, Squall!"
Squall stopped trying on the dresses.
And then he broke out into song- well, he sang along:
"Shake ya ass!
But watch yourself!
Shake ya ass!
Show me what you're workin' with!
Shake ya ass!
But watch yourself!
Shake ya ass!
I came here with my dick in my hand (demonstrates)
Don't make me leave here with my foot in yo ass, be cool!
And don't worry bout how I'm rippin' this shit,
When I'm flippin', when I'm dickin' nigga, this just what I do!
I'm effervescent and I'm off that crescent nastier than a full-grown German shepard
Motherfucker, keep steppin'
They won't fuck with me, and they don't
Yall bitches can't catch me, and you won't
Tell ya self, bitch ass throw that pussy
I'm proud of my poo nanny (?) and a dollar for my booty
You think I'm trippin' bitch, I ain't trippin'
I'm buying if you got nice curves for your iceberg
Drinking here acting like it's gonna do something to me
Hope this indecent proposal will make ya do somthin' with me
Fuck a dollar, girl, pick up fifty
And fuck that coward, girl, you need a real nigga!
Off top a nigga bout hurtin' shit
Bend over, ho, show me what you're workin' with!"
Needless to say, everyone was amazed at how Squall knew the lyrics. But what was even more shocking was the fact that Zell could actually dance to the rhyme.
And there he was, shaking, gyrating and rubbing his ass up against Squall just like in the video. Squall was horribly aroused.
"Okay, now for the best part!" Seifer announced, bringing out the rope again and grabbing Zell's wrists.
He tied and knotted the rope around Zell's wrists and then attached it to his ankles, making the blonde boy bend over so sharply it did a number on his nuts, all in one quick motion.
Squall froze.
There was Zell, this lucious piece of ass, wearing nut-huggers- white ones, no less- in the perfect position, right in front of him.
There were two angels sitting on Squall's shoulders, one good and the other bad.
Before the white one even got to open its mouth, Squall had picked it up and thrown it across the room. He did the same to the devil angel (_) and yanked Zell's nut-huggers down, along with his own pants, and started going at him like an animal.
Quistis and Selphie stared at the two in horror.
Seifer was also staring at them, but drool was coming out of his mouth and he had a huge boner.
Fifteen minutes later, Zell had blown his load (hitting Seifer in the eye for the second time) and Squall had collapsed with exhaustion on the floor.
"Oh, god," whispered Selphie, "I…never…figured…"
"Silly girl!" Quistis scolded. "It should've been obvious from the start!"
Seifer was in a dead faint.
Quistis slapped him and he jumped up with a start.
Zell was lying on the floor, sheer ecstasy on his face.
"I think that we ought to wrap this all up," Selphie sighed.
"Okay, then," Quistis agreed, "what's gonna be next?"
PiskyBoo: Yes, what IS gonna be next? Stay tuned, kids!