Saved by the Bell vs. USA High
USA High was a very underrated show. It could've run on NBC in place of Saved by the Bell, which was never the same after the original cast led by Zack. Let's imagine if these two matched up on a Saturday morning at the same time, on different channels:
Main Character: Blonde haired, Blue eyed guy. Zack vs. Jackson
Big Matchup. Ranks up there with the Will Smith vs. Bill Cosby matchup. (Cosby would win going away, but Smith would put up a fight.) Jackson gets points for being a musician, and a decent one at that. [He almost convinced me that he actually wanted to be one offset] Plus, he and Lauren's relationship showed more promise, but never got off the ground. Plus points for the blind chick as well. Zack was… The original, the man. He had the girls and the quick wit to pull himself out of and into any situation. Points off for carrying that blabber-mouth Screech around. Plus, points off for being so on and off with Kelly. They did marry though, big points for that.
Adv: Zack.
Love Interest: Brown-haired, Brown-eyed, smart, down-to-earth girl: Kelly Kapowski vs. Lauren Fontaine
Wow. Both are intensely attractive, and are capable of putting together complete sentences and making it sound like they know what they're saying. Kelly gets plus points for not being rich, yet finding ways to get by. Big points. Lauren could've easily connected with Jackson, but she never took opportunity when it showed up, and Jackson kept going through girlfriend after girlfriend. Kelly got the man, and Lauren got, something.
Adv: Kelly
Token Black Girl: Woman of Color, Sassy, Very high maintenance. Lisa vs. Winnie
One word: Attitude Hot and spicy. Lisa gets the edge in money. She has a different outfit every show. And even the way she wore the different uniforms. (P.E., Army) Winnie was cool as well. [Her H-O-T-T 'Hott!' thing could've been the next 'Whoa!' Or 'Did I do that?' of our generation.] She had attitude, and could pick up foreign dudes. She also stayed with one man for a while, while Lisa barely held onto anyone. Big points for Winnie.
Adv: Tie.
Muscled secondary character: Strong, funny, somewhat aloof. Slater vs. Christian.
It doesn't get any bigger than this. They had almost the same identical role. Play alongside the big star, and make sure you don't try to overdo them, although they could've done so, they did the blue-collar come to work and do what you've been told thing well. Slater gets very high points for being with Jessie without being dwarfed or intimidated. Bonus points for life after SBTB, though The Other Half maybe cancelled. Also, he actually took care of his body, which got unlimited woo's from the audience.
[Where did the 'woo' come from? Is it just something that came along primitively, or did someone actually do this?]
Anyway, Christian was good as well. He could've challenged Slater in athletics, and had a great girl in Winnie. [She gets the slight edge over Jessie, for obvious reasons] His accent and naïve nature made him a very likeable character. More than Slater? Yep. Slater gets BIG points off for calling Jessie 'mama' and fighting over the lead girl, which never happens. Slater can't carry a show like Zack, and Zack can't be alone.
Adv: Christian.
Awkward third girl: Very different girl to bounce things off of. Ashley vs. Jessie.
An unlikely matchup where Jessie would be the evident winner, but hold your horses. Ashley gets huge points for almost being with Jackson, almost catapulting her into the lead female role, which she could've carried for a few weeks. Jessie was very tall, but not the ideal girl, therefore squashing any chances of her and Zack. Even with signs of that happening, it would've been too awkward, too incomprehensible. Zack needed to be with an ideal girl, and Jessie was too much woman for him. Ashley was a very aloof girl, and played the part perfectly. Jessie was a strong, smart girl who was either longing for attention, or trying to make it on her own. Either way, she pushed herself too hard. It's official, an upset.
Adv: Ashley.
Geek: A weirdo, for lack of a better word. Screech vs. Lazzrini
Screech all the way. He annoyed the crap out of me everytime, but he played his sixth man role perfectly. He could even step in and start a few times. Lazz was cool, but his obsession with meat was a little weird though. Lazz was also a little scheming, and also joined Jackson in scams, mostly starting them on his own. He was crafty, but he's going up against Screech. Anyone else, and he would've won in an upset. But when you're up against Screech, you just don't win.
Adv: Screech
Principal: Goofy, Silly, Stupid Naïve guy who runs the school: Mr. Belding vs. Headmaster Nicholas
Very awkward. A bumpkin versus a refined gentleman? One important point here: Mr. Belding was married, so really didn't have a love interest to make him a little more interesting. Nick was very interesting, and let's face it: the accent really catches your attention. Plus, he ends up with Ms. Dupree. Sorry Belding, that's automatic.
Adv: Headmaster Nicholas.
Theme Song: Feet tapping tunes. Saved By The Bell vs. Rocking at USA High
USA High's music was too simple and bland, with poor camera angles to boot. If it weren't for that shot of Winnie from behind… Saved By the Bell ranks up there with Fresh Princes theme music, and it certainly outclasses USA High's horrible lyrics by a mile.
Adv: Saved By the Bell.
X-Factor: Random person thrown in. [just in case there was a tie-breaker] Max vs. Ms. Dupree.
WHOAAAA! Ms. Dupree all the way! Don't even get me started on Max. [the guy with the glasses who owned the Max. He looked like one of those guys who lived under the parents house, thinking up new catch phrases or something. He always looked like he was going to drool over the girls, even though the show called for him to be the neutral wise man in the whole thing. He probably hit on them between takes. Ms. Dupree? Like whoa. I can't explain it. She's smart and clever too.
Adv: Ms. Dupree
And there you have it, a tie. Well, the following people would make a perfect Saturday morning pre-teen/teen show anyway:
Zack / Kelly / Winnie or Lisa / Christian / Ashley / Screech / Headmaster Nicholas / Ms. Dupree / Saved by the Bell's music.
And, parting, I really don't have a life.
USA High was a very underrated show. It could've run on NBC in place of Saved by the Bell, which was never the same after the original cast led by Zack. Let's imagine if these two matched up on a Saturday morning at the same time, on different channels:
Main Character: Blonde haired, Blue eyed guy. Zack vs. Jackson
Big Matchup. Ranks up there with the Will Smith vs. Bill Cosby matchup. (Cosby would win going away, but Smith would put up a fight.) Jackson gets points for being a musician, and a decent one at that. [He almost convinced me that he actually wanted to be one offset] Plus, he and Lauren's relationship showed more promise, but never got off the ground. Plus points for the blind chick as well. Zack was… The original, the man. He had the girls and the quick wit to pull himself out of and into any situation. Points off for carrying that blabber-mouth Screech around. Plus, points off for being so on and off with Kelly. They did marry though, big points for that.
Adv: Zack.
Love Interest: Brown-haired, Brown-eyed, smart, down-to-earth girl: Kelly Kapowski vs. Lauren Fontaine
Wow. Both are intensely attractive, and are capable of putting together complete sentences and making it sound like they know what they're saying. Kelly gets plus points for not being rich, yet finding ways to get by. Big points. Lauren could've easily connected with Jackson, but she never took opportunity when it showed up, and Jackson kept going through girlfriend after girlfriend. Kelly got the man, and Lauren got, something.
Adv: Kelly
Token Black Girl: Woman of Color, Sassy, Very high maintenance. Lisa vs. Winnie
One word: Attitude Hot and spicy. Lisa gets the edge in money. She has a different outfit every show. And even the way she wore the different uniforms. (P.E., Army) Winnie was cool as well. [Her H-O-T-T 'Hott!' thing could've been the next 'Whoa!' Or 'Did I do that?' of our generation.] She had attitude, and could pick up foreign dudes. She also stayed with one man for a while, while Lisa barely held onto anyone. Big points for Winnie.
Adv: Tie.
Muscled secondary character: Strong, funny, somewhat aloof. Slater vs. Christian.
It doesn't get any bigger than this. They had almost the same identical role. Play alongside the big star, and make sure you don't try to overdo them, although they could've done so, they did the blue-collar come to work and do what you've been told thing well. Slater gets very high points for being with Jessie without being dwarfed or intimidated. Bonus points for life after SBTB, though The Other Half maybe cancelled. Also, he actually took care of his body, which got unlimited woo's from the audience.
[Where did the 'woo' come from? Is it just something that came along primitively, or did someone actually do this?]
Anyway, Christian was good as well. He could've challenged Slater in athletics, and had a great girl in Winnie. [She gets the slight edge over Jessie, for obvious reasons] His accent and naïve nature made him a very likeable character. More than Slater? Yep. Slater gets BIG points off for calling Jessie 'mama' and fighting over the lead girl, which never happens. Slater can't carry a show like Zack, and Zack can't be alone.
Adv: Christian.
Awkward third girl: Very different girl to bounce things off of. Ashley vs. Jessie.
An unlikely matchup where Jessie would be the evident winner, but hold your horses. Ashley gets huge points for almost being with Jackson, almost catapulting her into the lead female role, which she could've carried for a few weeks. Jessie was very tall, but not the ideal girl, therefore squashing any chances of her and Zack. Even with signs of that happening, it would've been too awkward, too incomprehensible. Zack needed to be with an ideal girl, and Jessie was too much woman for him. Ashley was a very aloof girl, and played the part perfectly. Jessie was a strong, smart girl who was either longing for attention, or trying to make it on her own. Either way, she pushed herself too hard. It's official, an upset.
Adv: Ashley.
Geek: A weirdo, for lack of a better word. Screech vs. Lazzrini
Screech all the way. He annoyed the crap out of me everytime, but he played his sixth man role perfectly. He could even step in and start a few times. Lazz was cool, but his obsession with meat was a little weird though. Lazz was also a little scheming, and also joined Jackson in scams, mostly starting them on his own. He was crafty, but he's going up against Screech. Anyone else, and he would've won in an upset. But when you're up against Screech, you just don't win.
Adv: Screech
Principal: Goofy, Silly, Stupid Naïve guy who runs the school: Mr. Belding vs. Headmaster Nicholas
Very awkward. A bumpkin versus a refined gentleman? One important point here: Mr. Belding was married, so really didn't have a love interest to make him a little more interesting. Nick was very interesting, and let's face it: the accent really catches your attention. Plus, he ends up with Ms. Dupree. Sorry Belding, that's automatic.
Adv: Headmaster Nicholas.
Theme Song: Feet tapping tunes. Saved By The Bell vs. Rocking at USA High
USA High's music was too simple and bland, with poor camera angles to boot. If it weren't for that shot of Winnie from behind… Saved By the Bell ranks up there with Fresh Princes theme music, and it certainly outclasses USA High's horrible lyrics by a mile.
Adv: Saved By the Bell.
X-Factor: Random person thrown in. [just in case there was a tie-breaker] Max vs. Ms. Dupree.
WHOAAAA! Ms. Dupree all the way! Don't even get me started on Max. [the guy with the glasses who owned the Max. He looked like one of those guys who lived under the parents house, thinking up new catch phrases or something. He always looked like he was going to drool over the girls, even though the show called for him to be the neutral wise man in the whole thing. He probably hit on them between takes. Ms. Dupree? Like whoa. I can't explain it. She's smart and clever too.
Adv: Ms. Dupree
And there you have it, a tie. Well, the following people would make a perfect Saturday morning pre-teen/teen show anyway:
Zack / Kelly / Winnie or Lisa / Christian / Ashley / Screech / Headmaster Nicholas / Ms. Dupree / Saved by the Bell's music.
And, parting, I really don't have a life.