12:35 P.M., Smallville High Cafeteria
How the hell could I do this? I should have known. How could I like my cousin-slash-best friend's old crush? I mean, "Hello?". Cute guy taking me around the most pathetic town on Earth named Clark, and, by Chloe's description of him, a very attractive 6' 3" dark-haired, great smiled, incredible bodied guy, whose name is also Clark; I mean, could I be more stupid or what?
And what is this awful, repetitive pain on my forehead? Oh, I was hitting myself. I didn't even notice that. See what I mean! I'm beginning to get stupider every single second of every day. Ouch! I should really stop hitting my head.
"Are you okay?"
Oh shit. That scared me to death.
"Chloe! Would you please not do that? Frickin' scared me to hell and back."
"Sorry. But when I saw you hitting yourself on the forehead, I knew I had to butt in. Do you want an apple? I think I have to give you simple foods before we plunge you into cafeteria food."
"Thanks. I'm not that hungry anyway. Hey, where's Clark?"
"He just had to go get something out of his locker. He'll come back in a few minutes."
12:41 P.M., Table #14
"So tell me Chloe, when are you going to show me your Wall of Weird?" I asked.
"I dunno. When are you free?"
"Well, I'm actually planning to go around the town this afternoon. So, how about tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow then." she answered. She then took out of her ham and cheese sandwich and began to eat. "Hey, wait a minute here. You're going around town today? I thought you hated small, stereotypical towns."
"I do. It's just that with all the stories you've told me, I just can't resist coming here. Meteor shower? Heat-sucking jock? Hotheaded football coach? Bee colony-controlling presidential candidate? Freaky Superboy? Telekinetic artist? C'mon Chloe, I know you'd come to this town if you were me." I know she would. We're practically twins. Great, she nodded. I know she'd see it my way. "Oh, and don't forget about the flower that made that girl strip down in front of Clark."
"You're not telling her that story, are you?"
Who was that? Oh, it's only Clark. Who's that guy with him? Must be Pete. Wait...kisses Chloe on the lips...got this disgusting romantic look on his face...sits down, puts his arm around Chloe's shoulder...yup, he must be Pete.
"Hi, you must be Pete." I say.
"And you must be Lois. Nice to meet you." he's nice. Now I know why Chlo is dating him.
"Could we please go back to what Lois was speaking." Clark said. Was it something I said? "How did you know about...that, um, thingy with, er, Lana?"
"Chloe told me." Ouch. Chloe kicked me under the table. What the hell does she think I'm going to say? Uh-oh. Now she's giving me that why-did-you- have-to-tell-Clark-when-he-doesn't-know-that-I-told-you-everything-that- happened-here-and-now-he's-going-to-kill-me-and-if-I-survive-I'll-kill-you- too look.
"And she also told me the many daring rescues you did. The way she tells stories, it's like you're the town's superhero."
A sweet smile on Chloe's face. At least I know she's not gonna kill me.
12:58 P.M.
"And the clown chased us throughout the whole circus just to get his nose back!" I say.
Oh God. We're laughing our asses off. My sides hurt.
"Hey it's not funny! It made me scared of clowns for the next three years!" Chloe says in a very embarrassed look. Hey, at least she's laughing. Well, at least she was. She's got that scared look on her. Why, oh, why, oh, why does he have to be here? Ok. Just stand up and smile like it doesn't bother you. Even if it does.
"Hey dad."
Get up. Smile. Oh crap, not him too!
"Private Sanchez." Salute the bitch.
He salutes. And says: "Cadet Lane. How are you doing?"
"I don't think that's any of your business, sir."
"Lois, I don't think that's necessary." My dad says with a very stern face.
This is unbelievable! I have to pull him to the side. Ok, no one's here. The coast is clear. I don't think anyone would hear us from here.
"Dad, what are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to check up on you. You know, see if you're fine."
"Well I could've just told you when I eventually get home."
"I wish you could, but you can't. I won't be back home 'till twenty-three- hundred hours."
"But how about Lucy?"
"She'll be alright. You'll be home before she does. She's taking care of the Johnson twins."
What the fuck?!
"Wait. I thought she hates them."
"She does. But she loves the money that Commander Johnson is going to give to her. Anyway, I'm also here to tell you that you need to get some groceries. Here's some money." Sweet! Hundred bucks! "I think that will be enough for some groceries and what you want for today. Sorry honey, I'm late for a meeting. I'll see you later."
"Bye dad."
Where the hell is he going?
"Goodbye Chloe." Oh great. He just has to pass by and say hi.
"Bye uncle Sam." Crap. She's still terrified of him.
Thank God they're gone. Now I can have a conversation with my new friends.
"What was that about?" Chloe asks.
"Nothing."
"A hundred dollars isn't nothing. Who was that guy anyway?"
"What we talked about is nothing and that guy is nobody." Yeah, definitely nobody. " So, as I was saying...."
How the hell could I do this? I should have known. How could I like my cousin-slash-best friend's old crush? I mean, "Hello?". Cute guy taking me around the most pathetic town on Earth named Clark, and, by Chloe's description of him, a very attractive 6' 3" dark-haired, great smiled, incredible bodied guy, whose name is also Clark; I mean, could I be more stupid or what?
And what is this awful, repetitive pain on my forehead? Oh, I was hitting myself. I didn't even notice that. See what I mean! I'm beginning to get stupider every single second of every day. Ouch! I should really stop hitting my head.
"Are you okay?"
Oh shit. That scared me to death.
"Chloe! Would you please not do that? Frickin' scared me to hell and back."
"Sorry. But when I saw you hitting yourself on the forehead, I knew I had to butt in. Do you want an apple? I think I have to give you simple foods before we plunge you into cafeteria food."
"Thanks. I'm not that hungry anyway. Hey, where's Clark?"
"He just had to go get something out of his locker. He'll come back in a few minutes."
12:41 P.M., Table #14
"So tell me Chloe, when are you going to show me your Wall of Weird?" I asked.
"I dunno. When are you free?"
"Well, I'm actually planning to go around the town this afternoon. So, how about tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow then." she answered. She then took out of her ham and cheese sandwich and began to eat. "Hey, wait a minute here. You're going around town today? I thought you hated small, stereotypical towns."
"I do. It's just that with all the stories you've told me, I just can't resist coming here. Meteor shower? Heat-sucking jock? Hotheaded football coach? Bee colony-controlling presidential candidate? Freaky Superboy? Telekinetic artist? C'mon Chloe, I know you'd come to this town if you were me." I know she would. We're practically twins. Great, she nodded. I know she'd see it my way. "Oh, and don't forget about the flower that made that girl strip down in front of Clark."
"You're not telling her that story, are you?"
Who was that? Oh, it's only Clark. Who's that guy with him? Must be Pete. Wait...kisses Chloe on the lips...got this disgusting romantic look on his face...sits down, puts his arm around Chloe's shoulder...yup, he must be Pete.
"Hi, you must be Pete." I say.
"And you must be Lois. Nice to meet you." he's nice. Now I know why Chlo is dating him.
"Could we please go back to what Lois was speaking." Clark said. Was it something I said? "How did you know about...that, um, thingy with, er, Lana?"
"Chloe told me." Ouch. Chloe kicked me under the table. What the hell does she think I'm going to say? Uh-oh. Now she's giving me that why-did-you- have-to-tell-Clark-when-he-doesn't-know-that-I-told-you-everything-that- happened-here-and-now-he's-going-to-kill-me-and-if-I-survive-I'll-kill-you- too look.
"And she also told me the many daring rescues you did. The way she tells stories, it's like you're the town's superhero."
A sweet smile on Chloe's face. At least I know she's not gonna kill me.
12:58 P.M.
"And the clown chased us throughout the whole circus just to get his nose back!" I say.
Oh God. We're laughing our asses off. My sides hurt.
"Hey it's not funny! It made me scared of clowns for the next three years!" Chloe says in a very embarrassed look. Hey, at least she's laughing. Well, at least she was. She's got that scared look on her. Why, oh, why, oh, why does he have to be here? Ok. Just stand up and smile like it doesn't bother you. Even if it does.
"Hey dad."
Get up. Smile. Oh crap, not him too!
"Private Sanchez." Salute the bitch.
He salutes. And says: "Cadet Lane. How are you doing?"
"I don't think that's any of your business, sir."
"Lois, I don't think that's necessary." My dad says with a very stern face.
This is unbelievable! I have to pull him to the side. Ok, no one's here. The coast is clear. I don't think anyone would hear us from here.
"Dad, what are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to check up on you. You know, see if you're fine."
"Well I could've just told you when I eventually get home."
"I wish you could, but you can't. I won't be back home 'till twenty-three- hundred hours."
"But how about Lucy?"
"She'll be alright. You'll be home before she does. She's taking care of the Johnson twins."
What the fuck?!
"Wait. I thought she hates them."
"She does. But she loves the money that Commander Johnson is going to give to her. Anyway, I'm also here to tell you that you need to get some groceries. Here's some money." Sweet! Hundred bucks! "I think that will be enough for some groceries and what you want for today. Sorry honey, I'm late for a meeting. I'll see you later."
"Bye dad."
Where the hell is he going?
"Goodbye Chloe." Oh great. He just has to pass by and say hi.
"Bye uncle Sam." Crap. She's still terrified of him.
Thank God they're gone. Now I can have a conversation with my new friends.
"What was that about?" Chloe asks.
"Nothing."
"A hundred dollars isn't nothing. Who was that guy anyway?"
"What we talked about is nothing and that guy is nobody." Yeah, definitely nobody. " So, as I was saying...."