The Video Series (# 1: Obi Torture!)
Author: Celestia Vitaria
Disclaimer: I don't own qui, obi, ani, mace, or any other Jedi. I don't own Star Wars in general. Bren belongs to Obi the Kid. However, Layla belongs to me, and Casey, Stella and Yogi belong to my friend, who so graciously gave me the idea for this insane series. Kudos go out to her and also my other friend "Kit" for the inspiration and torment ideas. None of us makes any money off of these things, so don't sue, ok?
Summary: I *a.k.a. Layla* have a video camera and we decide to torment a bunch of ppl. *1st in a series of who-knows how many. It depends on what plot bunnies decide to bite.* Please R&R, but no flames please. *
Archive: fine, but just leave me the site address in a review so i know where it's going.
A/N: In these, Casey and Kenobi are a couple, as are Layla and Qui-Gon.
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*Static*
(The camera comes into focus and gets a close up view of Obi-Wan Kenobi, fast asleep on the couch and snoring rather loudly.)
Layla: (Trying to be heard over the snoring, and doing a *way* too convincing impression of the crocodile hunter.) Look here, ladies and gentlemen. We've stumbled into the lair of the infamous Beta Braidboy male. I must be careful not to wake him. These particular creatures are very dangerous when provoked. You may die from laughing. (Snicker.)
(The camera pans away from Obi for a minute to take in the common area of the apartment.)
Layla: It seems that the couple have been fighting again. His mate appears to have banished him from their sleeping chambers. In other words folks, I think he's in the proverbial dog house. (Hehe.) (Snicker.) (Snicker.) (Hehe.) (Snort.)
(The camera comes back to focus on Obi's face. He is half awake, one blue-gray eye opened, and an irritated expression on the handsome features.)
Obi: (Glaring at the camera operator through half-opened, bleary eyes.) Layla, get that damn camera out of my face right now before I throw it in the lake and you with it.
Layla: (Petulantly, hiding behind her precious camera.) You do, and I'll shove that stupid digital camera of yours so far up your ass that you'll be crapping out the pieces for a week!
Obi: (Stands up, glaring at her.) If you want to live to see the light of another day, you'll turn that bloody thing off right now!
(The view goes slightly higher as Layla draws herself up to her full height in an almost regal gesture of defiance.)
Layla: Come on then! Bring it on, Braidboy! We'll take this outside and I'll kick your sorry arse so hard that you'll be bloody wearing it for a hat!
Casey: (Sleepily, emerging from one of the bedrooms.) Hey, what's going on here? Geez, a girl can't even get any sleep around this place. Your bickering is loud enough to wake the dead!!
Layla: (Raising an eyebrow.) I am *so* not *even* going to make a comment about that. (Pauses for a moment, then grins.) Yeah, right. You should talk, hun. The way you two fight half the time, it's amazing that you haven't actually managed to accomplish that yet!
Obi: (Sounding almost pitiful.) Can you please tell her to back off with that stupid camera of hers? She actually listens to you for some weird reason.
Both girls: BUTT OUT BRAIDBOY!!
Obi: (Rolling his eyes.) You two are both total nutcases!
Layla: (In an annoyingly high-pitched, sing-song voice.) Temper, temper, Obi-Wan! Anger leads to the dark side! (Then it finally dawns on her what he just said.) Wait. Did he just call us nutcases?
Casey: (Rolls her eyes and smacks Layla on the back of the head.) Gee, ya think? Took you long enough to figure it out.
Layla: (Pouts for a moment, then hands Casey the camera.) Here, hold this for a minute. I'll be right back.
Casey: (Takes the camera and shrugs.) Sure, whatever.
(The two watch as Layla disappears into the kitchen. Obi is wary, and Casey is genuinely curious as to what her friend is up to this time. They get their answer a few moments later when Layla reappears, hiding something behind her back.)
Obi: (Warily.) What are you up to now?
Layla: (Innocently.) Who? Me? Up to something? Why, never, Obi-Wan. I'm deeply hurt that you would even *suspect* me of being up to something. (Sniffle.) (Sniffle.)
Obi: (Watching suspiciously as the girl circles him once, humming nonchalantly to herself.) Cut the innocent wounded crap, Layla. I'm not falling for it.
Layla: (*Way* too cheerfully.) All right, but just remember. You asked for it. (WHACK!)
(She whacks him on the head with the frying pan that she was hiding behind her back. Kenobi stumbles backwards a bit right as Qui-Gon walks in. He watches the scene, somewhere between tired shock and amusement. He has long since gotten used to Casey and Layla's bouts of insanity.)
Obi: (Voice somewhat slurred.) Look at all the pretty stars! Gh'night ever'body! (PLOP!)
(He passes out. Casey, still holding the video camera, has gotten everything on tape.)
Qui: Should I even ask what's going on, love?
Layla: (Shaking her head.) Please don't. It's a *long* story. (Snicker.)
Obi: (Coming back to consciousness, holding his head.) What in the Seven Sith Hells just happened? (He looks over at Layla, then over at Qui-Gon.) Nevermind. Don't answer that. Qui-Gon, your girlfriend is insane!
Casey: (Muttering.) Uh-oh. He's in trouble now.
Layla: Oh, that tears it! Qui, you'd better hold me back, because Kenobi here is gonna lose an eye if you don't!
(Qui-Gon, realizing that she's completely serious, moves forward and grabs hold of her, trying to keep her from beating the crap out of Obi-Wan. She struggles violently, yelling curses in ancient Egyptian and several other languages as Kenobi gets to his feet, holding his still sore head. A large, bruised bump is quickly becoming steadily visible.)
Obi: That's it Qui-Gon! Hold the psycho back!
Layla: (Narrowing her eyes.) Did he just call me a psycho?!
Qui: I believe so.
Layla: (Yelling at the top of her voice.) KENOBI!
(Said Jedi cringes.)
Casey: Uh-oh. (Peers out from behind the camera.) You shouldn't have said that, buddy-boy! You're in the doghouse now.
(At Casey's mention of a doghouse, Layla immediately stops struggling and glances over towards where Yogi and Stella, Casey's dogs, lying by the couch, watching the proceedings with a detatched interest that only dogs can manage.Yogi looks up at Layla with his sleepy brown eyes. An evil grin creeps onto Layla's face that would make an angry rottweiler wet itself. She'd just come up with an awful idea.)
Layla: (Grinning maliciously.) Yogi, Stella, CHEWTOY!
(The dogs immediately obey her command and take off after Kenobi, barking and growling. He swears viciously and bolts out the door, running down the corridors screaming like a girl with the dogs growling and snapping at him, hot on his heels. Qui, Layla and Casey stare after him for a long moment as Qui-Gon finally lets go of Layla and the two girls start laughing hysterically, Layla leaning on Qui to keep herself from falling down on the floor.)
Both girls: (Hehe.) (Haha.) (Snicker.) (Snicker.) (Hehe.) (Snort.)
Layla: (Still snickering.) Well, damn. (Haha.) Oh, this is too funny! (Haha.) (Looks towards the door.) There goes the moron. There go the dogs. Dang, there goes our entertainment! (Pouts for a moment.)
Casey: Ok, now that was just funny.
Layla: (Brightens as an idea pops into her head.) Hey, is that video camera still turned on?
Casey: (Gives her the camera.) Yeah, why?
Layla: What's say we follow Kenobi just for the hell of it and video tape it?
Casey: (Shrugs.) Sure, why not?
Layla: Great! Come on before we miss it all!
Qui: (Interrupting them.) You two have some major issues, you do know that, don't you?
Both girls: (Exchange glances, then nod enthusiastically.) Mmm-hmm! Yup! We know.
(The two girls then run out of the apartment with Qui-Gon shaking his head in amazement, following Kenobi and the dogs through the corridors. Several Jedi have stopped to stare, wondering what in the worlds all the commotion is about.)
Bren: (Calling out to them as they run past.) What's with the video camera?
Both girls: (Calling back over their shoulders in unison.) Two words: Kenobi torture!
Bren: (Shrugs.) Oh. Carry on then girls.
(The girls start laughing again. Layla, busy with the camera, is not really paying any attention as to where she is going. She suddenly runs into something solid and falls backwards onto the tiled floor, landing on her butt with a quiet, "oof!" She somehow manages to hold onto the video camera, though, and the view slowly goes up...and up...and up, finally focusing on the scowling face of Council member Mace Windu. Layla gasps.)
Layla: Oh. Shit.
Mace: (Completely unamused, hauling the now-frightened girl roughly to her feet.) Layla! Casey! What is the meaning of all this commotion?! You'd better have a good explanation for this!
(Layla glances over at Casey helplessly, sees the same expression on her friend's face, then turns back to Mace.)
Layla: (Meekly.) Meow? (Tries in vain to look completely innocent. It doesn't work.)
*Static* (The camera is turned off.)
~El fin~
Well? What do you think? Love it, hate it, don't know what to think of it? This is what happens when my friends and I are bored and I've had way too much sugar or caffiene, and too little sleep. R&R and let me know what you think either way.
*Celestia Vitaria*
Author: Celestia Vitaria
Disclaimer: I don't own qui, obi, ani, mace, or any other Jedi. I don't own Star Wars in general. Bren belongs to Obi the Kid. However, Layla belongs to me, and Casey, Stella and Yogi belong to my friend, who so graciously gave me the idea for this insane series. Kudos go out to her and also my other friend "Kit" for the inspiration and torment ideas. None of us makes any money off of these things, so don't sue, ok?
Summary: I *a.k.a. Layla* have a video camera and we decide to torment a bunch of ppl. *1st in a series of who-knows how many. It depends on what plot bunnies decide to bite.* Please R&R, but no flames please. *
Archive: fine, but just leave me the site address in a review so i know where it's going.
A/N: In these, Casey and Kenobi are a couple, as are Layla and Qui-Gon.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
*Static*
(The camera comes into focus and gets a close up view of Obi-Wan Kenobi, fast asleep on the couch and snoring rather loudly.)
Layla: (Trying to be heard over the snoring, and doing a *way* too convincing impression of the crocodile hunter.) Look here, ladies and gentlemen. We've stumbled into the lair of the infamous Beta Braidboy male. I must be careful not to wake him. These particular creatures are very dangerous when provoked. You may die from laughing. (Snicker.)
(The camera pans away from Obi for a minute to take in the common area of the apartment.)
Layla: It seems that the couple have been fighting again. His mate appears to have banished him from their sleeping chambers. In other words folks, I think he's in the proverbial dog house. (Hehe.) (Snicker.) (Snicker.) (Hehe.) (Snort.)
(The camera comes back to focus on Obi's face. He is half awake, one blue-gray eye opened, and an irritated expression on the handsome features.)
Obi: (Glaring at the camera operator through half-opened, bleary eyes.) Layla, get that damn camera out of my face right now before I throw it in the lake and you with it.
Layla: (Petulantly, hiding behind her precious camera.) You do, and I'll shove that stupid digital camera of yours so far up your ass that you'll be crapping out the pieces for a week!
Obi: (Stands up, glaring at her.) If you want to live to see the light of another day, you'll turn that bloody thing off right now!
(The view goes slightly higher as Layla draws herself up to her full height in an almost regal gesture of defiance.)
Layla: Come on then! Bring it on, Braidboy! We'll take this outside and I'll kick your sorry arse so hard that you'll be bloody wearing it for a hat!
Casey: (Sleepily, emerging from one of the bedrooms.) Hey, what's going on here? Geez, a girl can't even get any sleep around this place. Your bickering is loud enough to wake the dead!!
Layla: (Raising an eyebrow.) I am *so* not *even* going to make a comment about that. (Pauses for a moment, then grins.) Yeah, right. You should talk, hun. The way you two fight half the time, it's amazing that you haven't actually managed to accomplish that yet!
Obi: (Sounding almost pitiful.) Can you please tell her to back off with that stupid camera of hers? She actually listens to you for some weird reason.
Both girls: BUTT OUT BRAIDBOY!!
Obi: (Rolling his eyes.) You two are both total nutcases!
Layla: (In an annoyingly high-pitched, sing-song voice.) Temper, temper, Obi-Wan! Anger leads to the dark side! (Then it finally dawns on her what he just said.) Wait. Did he just call us nutcases?
Casey: (Rolls her eyes and smacks Layla on the back of the head.) Gee, ya think? Took you long enough to figure it out.
Layla: (Pouts for a moment, then hands Casey the camera.) Here, hold this for a minute. I'll be right back.
Casey: (Takes the camera and shrugs.) Sure, whatever.
(The two watch as Layla disappears into the kitchen. Obi is wary, and Casey is genuinely curious as to what her friend is up to this time. They get their answer a few moments later when Layla reappears, hiding something behind her back.)
Obi: (Warily.) What are you up to now?
Layla: (Innocently.) Who? Me? Up to something? Why, never, Obi-Wan. I'm deeply hurt that you would even *suspect* me of being up to something. (Sniffle.) (Sniffle.)
Obi: (Watching suspiciously as the girl circles him once, humming nonchalantly to herself.) Cut the innocent wounded crap, Layla. I'm not falling for it.
Layla: (*Way* too cheerfully.) All right, but just remember. You asked for it. (WHACK!)
(She whacks him on the head with the frying pan that she was hiding behind her back. Kenobi stumbles backwards a bit right as Qui-Gon walks in. He watches the scene, somewhere between tired shock and amusement. He has long since gotten used to Casey and Layla's bouts of insanity.)
Obi: (Voice somewhat slurred.) Look at all the pretty stars! Gh'night ever'body! (PLOP!)
(He passes out. Casey, still holding the video camera, has gotten everything on tape.)
Qui: Should I even ask what's going on, love?
Layla: (Shaking her head.) Please don't. It's a *long* story. (Snicker.)
Obi: (Coming back to consciousness, holding his head.) What in the Seven Sith Hells just happened? (He looks over at Layla, then over at Qui-Gon.) Nevermind. Don't answer that. Qui-Gon, your girlfriend is insane!
Casey: (Muttering.) Uh-oh. He's in trouble now.
Layla: Oh, that tears it! Qui, you'd better hold me back, because Kenobi here is gonna lose an eye if you don't!
(Qui-Gon, realizing that she's completely serious, moves forward and grabs hold of her, trying to keep her from beating the crap out of Obi-Wan. She struggles violently, yelling curses in ancient Egyptian and several other languages as Kenobi gets to his feet, holding his still sore head. A large, bruised bump is quickly becoming steadily visible.)
Obi: That's it Qui-Gon! Hold the psycho back!
Layla: (Narrowing her eyes.) Did he just call me a psycho?!
Qui: I believe so.
Layla: (Yelling at the top of her voice.) KENOBI!
(Said Jedi cringes.)
Casey: Uh-oh. (Peers out from behind the camera.) You shouldn't have said that, buddy-boy! You're in the doghouse now.
(At Casey's mention of a doghouse, Layla immediately stops struggling and glances over towards where Yogi and Stella, Casey's dogs, lying by the couch, watching the proceedings with a detatched interest that only dogs can manage.Yogi looks up at Layla with his sleepy brown eyes. An evil grin creeps onto Layla's face that would make an angry rottweiler wet itself. She'd just come up with an awful idea.)
Layla: (Grinning maliciously.) Yogi, Stella, CHEWTOY!
(The dogs immediately obey her command and take off after Kenobi, barking and growling. He swears viciously and bolts out the door, running down the corridors screaming like a girl with the dogs growling and snapping at him, hot on his heels. Qui, Layla and Casey stare after him for a long moment as Qui-Gon finally lets go of Layla and the two girls start laughing hysterically, Layla leaning on Qui to keep herself from falling down on the floor.)
Both girls: (Hehe.) (Haha.) (Snicker.) (Snicker.) (Hehe.) (Snort.)
Layla: (Still snickering.) Well, damn. (Haha.) Oh, this is too funny! (Haha.) (Looks towards the door.) There goes the moron. There go the dogs. Dang, there goes our entertainment! (Pouts for a moment.)
Casey: Ok, now that was just funny.
Layla: (Brightens as an idea pops into her head.) Hey, is that video camera still turned on?
Casey: (Gives her the camera.) Yeah, why?
Layla: What's say we follow Kenobi just for the hell of it and video tape it?
Casey: (Shrugs.) Sure, why not?
Layla: Great! Come on before we miss it all!
Qui: (Interrupting them.) You two have some major issues, you do know that, don't you?
Both girls: (Exchange glances, then nod enthusiastically.) Mmm-hmm! Yup! We know.
(The two girls then run out of the apartment with Qui-Gon shaking his head in amazement, following Kenobi and the dogs through the corridors. Several Jedi have stopped to stare, wondering what in the worlds all the commotion is about.)
Bren: (Calling out to them as they run past.) What's with the video camera?
Both girls: (Calling back over their shoulders in unison.) Two words: Kenobi torture!
Bren: (Shrugs.) Oh. Carry on then girls.
(The girls start laughing again. Layla, busy with the camera, is not really paying any attention as to where she is going. She suddenly runs into something solid and falls backwards onto the tiled floor, landing on her butt with a quiet, "oof!" She somehow manages to hold onto the video camera, though, and the view slowly goes up...and up...and up, finally focusing on the scowling face of Council member Mace Windu. Layla gasps.)
Layla: Oh. Shit.
Mace: (Completely unamused, hauling the now-frightened girl roughly to her feet.) Layla! Casey! What is the meaning of all this commotion?! You'd better have a good explanation for this!
(Layla glances over at Casey helplessly, sees the same expression on her friend's face, then turns back to Mace.)
Layla: (Meekly.) Meow? (Tries in vain to look completely innocent. It doesn't work.)
*Static* (The camera is turned off.)
~El fin~
Well? What do you think? Love it, hate it, don't know what to think of it? This is what happens when my friends and I are bored and I've had way too much sugar or caffiene, and too little sleep. R&R and let me know what you think either way.
*Celestia Vitaria*