A/N: I would have kept Britney and Collin in longer but I couldn't think of
anything to do with them... oh well
Disclaimer: I own nothing Harry Potter ect. (did you know ect. translates into blah, blah, blah?) I also do not own the Poem. It is from a book my friend is reading. I think it's called Through the Looking Glass and Other Adventures. Its also from the movie Alice in Wonderland. Once again, Katherine Owns the badfic.
Claimer: I own the orange, black, and red rooms. I also own my Longhorns Calander
Twisted Humor Theaters Presents: Harry Potter Mystery Theater
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unfortunately, our favorite (fay-vor-ight) heros and heroesses are perfectly sane. Except mabe Harry and Draco, but they annoy each other. Nobody (to my dismay) has gotten a Pink, frilly dress and tights. Lets see what they're up to now....
Every one except Harry and Draco were in a heated arguement about who Draco likes.
Earlier that morning, Hermione had found the uh messages. She, Minnie and Ron thinks it's Harry. Voldie, Sirius and Sevvie thinks it's Hermione. I know who it is, but that would ruin it all!!
RED ROOM (Better known as Hell)
Harry and Draco were asleep. They were in different beanbags, of course, across the room from eachother.
VOICE: Harry, Draco! Wake UP!
Harry and Draco wake up. They look at eachother, and bolt to the bathcloset. Harry gets there first and comes out 15 minutes later. Draco does the same. Good thing they're not morning people. It took that long just to settle the 6 in the orange room down.
VOICE: Well! What are you waiting for?! Out into the orange room.
They left, in frear of losing a bean bag.
ORANGE ROOM
VOICE: Good morning every one! Harry, Draco, how was YOUR night?
HARRY (bitterly): Just peachy
VOICE (missing the bitterness, how i dont know. He was awful bitter..): Great! I've got a poem I'm going to read to you!
MALFOY: Is it about any of us?
VOICE: No
HARRY: Then it's off to a good start already.
VOICE:twinkle twinkle little bat
how i wonder where you're at
up above the world you fly
like a tea tray in the sky
twinkle little bat how i wonder where you're at
MINERVA: That was uh erm interesting
HERMIONE: I've heard that before! When i was little... it's from a movie.....
VOICE: Okieday! Onto the next badfic!
A stack of parchment appears infront of Voldemort. He begins:
Hi all I'm back again! Yes you can keep a crazy Gemini down. So pull up a chair, or couch grab some pop and get ready to rumble!!!!!!!!!! No wait that's no right…..hum…well I guess it can!
DRACO: Too perky
RON: I'll say
Raindeer Furby Rides Again!!!!!!!!
By Katherine aka Star. ^.^
HERMIONE, HARRY: NO! NOT FURBIES!!
RON: What are furbies?
HERMIONE: It's this muggle toy and it speaks 'furbish' and the more you play with it, it'll learn english. It's bloody annoying. I killed mine.
SNAPE: Oh shit its the same one who wrote that I thought Granger was sexy
It was a dark, wet and miserable night. The sky flashed with lighting the sounds of thunder filled the air. Then came a very loud sound, it came form you guess it Furby!!!!!!!!
SIRIUS: At least it's not a sunny, cloudless, happy, perky day
DRACO: I didn't guess it was furby.
Kah toh-loo noh-lah wah! (which means I like to dance!) followed by kah mee-mee a-tay! (means I'm very hungry!)
MINERVA: Well thanks for the translations... It's not like any of US speak furbish.
HARRY: I don't know Professor. You think that mabe Professor Snape does?
ALL (But snape and voldie and draco): LOL!!!!!!!
HERMIONE: Oh shit! A very hungry, dancing furby! This CAN'T be good
RON: These fics are never good
With that yelled out for all the world to hear, our hero Raindear Furby marched on his quest to find a place to dance and eat. He was a cute little guy with a fuzzy hat and bells on him. His mission was the same, well it was mulit parted. Eat, dance, sleep and convert others to you guessed it Furbish!!!!!!!! Yes, our short little hero was at it again. After having converted Ultros ( note to all he's the purple octopus, form Final Fantasy 3/6) and the remaining Malofy along with lots of others. He was out again with his converting, one would almost think he was a crazy catholic.
MALFOY: What does they mean, 'the remaining Malfoy'?!
HERMIONE: Mabe he killed your parents and converted you to furbish
VOICE: Naughty Hermione! You've been reading ahead
HERMIONE: No I haven't! I just guessed
RON: NO! Not descriptions! I hate discritpions!
Raindeer decided to head to his old buddy Hagard's place so he could sleep in a nice dry and warm place. He slipped into the hut about 10:00pm, not wanting to be a jerk he placed him self in his regular spot, after drying off by the fire. He then went to sleep, as all furbies like to do. Latter the next morning Raindeer woke and begin to teach Fang you guessed it furbish! He also taught Norbit, who was a very fast study. After he was done he left the hut to get Hagard some more dragon eggs as a way of saying thank you for the nice warm spot.
HERMIONE: Look at all the spelling and grammer mistakes!! It's Hagrid! And Norbert! Not Norbit!
MALFOY (To Snape): Told you! He had a dragon!! but no! you didn't listen!!
HARRY: How did she find out about Norbert?
SIRIUS: Figures. Him making friends with a Furby....
After Raindeer got done sending the eggs to Hargard by way of wizarding FedEx. He set off to beat up a big fat drunken jerky boy who was named……(No it wasn't Lucius I killed him off in the first furby fic. Cause he is a jerk, and a evil gay death eater! Not that being gay is bad just working for a gay evil dude like Voldie is bad. ) Now as I was saying this jerks name was Fudge! Now Fudge was a short fat ass who had bad hair and worse breath. He was for some unknown reason the head of the ministry. Why I don't know I think he had blackmail or something, on someone important. Now as luck would have it, Fudge was out for his morning walk. So my hero and yours didn't have far to go, to beat the crap out of him. Raindear walked up to the short loser with bad hair and said. "You suck, I must make you sleep for good."
MINERVA: I'm starting to think this furby guy's not half bad... Killing Lucius, Destroying Fudge.... He's got spunk...
SIRIUS: Don't you dare think about cheating on me with a furby!
RON: What's FedEx?
HERMIONE: really fast muggle postal service
VOLDIEMORT: I'm not gay! I'm evil, true, but not gay! and It's Voldemort! Not Voldie!
HARRY: YES! Make Fudge sleep for good! Then end the fic and everyone will be happy!
MALFOY: You realise even if it does destroy Fudge, the fic won't end there
SNAPE: I'm not gay!!
Well Fudge being dumber than a collage student on crystal meth. Did not run, no he did what any dumb ass would do, he asked the ever stupid question. "Who are you, and why do you want me dead?" As you can imagine Raindeer was really brassed off by this, how dare the moron in front of him ask this! Was he blind, was he stupid, was he a 500lbs undead jackass with really bad hair and worse breath? Helle yes! Fudge was dumber than a ice troll who had thought he could kick Thor's butt.
MINERVA: What's crystal meth?
HERMIONE: Muggle narcotic
MINERVA: This girls got Fudge summed up pretty good
Raindeer: "U-Nye lee-koo here u-Nye dah loo-loo kah going to noh-lah on your grave!" (Which means "you listen here you big joke, I'm going to dance on your grave.")
HARRY: GO FURBY!
With that mix of both furbish and Minnesotan Raindeer kicked the crap out of Fudge. (note to the misters knocking MN will get you a fate worse than death.) It was so bad I can't even go into the details of how badly beaten he was. Let's just say that where wasn't enough of Fudge left to fill up a shoe box. But just enough left that a traveling potions sales wizard, bottled what was left to sell.
ALL: You go furby!
VOLDEMORT: burn his wizard ass!
After having sent Fudge to the next world, Raindeer found that he still had time on his paws. So he head off to Hogwarts to say hi to his other pal who lived there. No not Albus, Raindeer is just a little to violent for him. He went to see Hermonie, his all powerful witch friend who he thought was the greatest lady since Minny had been young. Now as you can guess our hero does not like his pals to be dised. So when he saw a certain dark haired hotttie of a potions master being a bit mean to his buddy Herm. Well he was mighty miffed off,( Katherine: "after all just cause you're a hottie Snape honey you don't have to be rude." ) So Raindeer being the good smartens that he was. Walked up to Snape and said, "Mr. Snape you have no right to hell at my homgal Herm. Just cause she's smarter than your group of dumbassies is no reason to bit*h. (Katherine: "You should be better than that after all your one hot wizard and smart too. ) So I want you to say your sorry to my homgal now."
SNAPE: atleast SOMEBODY acctually sees me for what I am
MINERVA: Yea, a big fat grease head with a huge nose
SNAPE: There is no way in hell I'm going to apoligize to Granger... even if she is smarter then my Slytherins! They're way cooler!
SIRIUS: How childish
Well Sev being the wizard that he is, was shocked to see a living furby. After all furbys were supposed have been wiped out. With the only furbys now being the muggle toys. This shocked the heck out of the hottie potions master. So he turned form the furby and told Herm he was sorry, cause no man messes with a raindeer furby, if he wants to live anyway. Herm walked off with Raindeer and they chatted about all that Rain had been up to. After Rain had said good-bye to Herm, he remembered that he still had a favor to pay off. So in the dead of the night he made his way to Sev's room and used a powerful sleep potion on him. Then put him in a magic shippers box, bed and all, and sent him to an old friend in MN. Who he was paying back for the time she helped him convert half of TX to furbish. Let's just say that the said lady was very happy when she got up to get the mail the next morning.
SNAPE: There never were furbies in the wizarding world!! I would never aplolgize! I'd get my wand and hex the fuckin thing!
HARRY, DRACO, HERMIONE, RON: Haha Professor! You got sent to MN where ever that is to some muggle who helped convert half of texas to furbish!
SNAPE: oh shut it
The End!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL: YEA!!!
Nope sorry just messing with yeah all,
ALL: BOO!
Katherine and Sev got married and had five kids. Herm got married to Harry and had a set of twins. Ron and Lavender had three sets of twins and two others. Draco got married to Cho and has about 15 kids. Minny and Albus got married as well, but she sees Voldie on the side. Remus and Cassie Lupin got together, Sirus named was cleared, and rat boy was eaten by trolls.
SNAPE: NO! I'm not marrying her! and I'm certainly not having 5 kids!
HARRY: No! I don't wanna marry Hermione
HERMIONE: It's just a fic... remember that... it's just a really bad fic....
MALFOY: NO! Not that Cedric loving bitch!
MINERVA: Sirius, who's Cassie Lupin, and why is she marrying Remus if they already have the same last name?
SIRIUS: I duno. This fic wasn't so bad after all.. Fudge got killed. Lucius was already dead my name got cleared and 'rat boy' got eaten!
VOLDEMORT: Pettigrew got what he deserved
RON: I didn't get married.. mabe that's a good thing...
The End!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL: YEA!!
VOICE: Now then! Harry, Draco, off to your room!
HERMIONE: Wait! I wanna know who Draco likes!!
ALL (But Draco): Yea!
DRACO: It's none of your buisness
HERMIONE: You should have thought of that before you wrote it all over a couch
DRACO: hmph
RON: Well...
DRACO: (in a very, very, very, very, very, very,very, very low voice) hermione
but Hermione heard it
HERMIONE: Eww!
SNAPE, SIRIUS, VOLDEMORT: Told ya so!
HERMIONE, MINERVA, RON: Hmph
HARRY: What'd y'all do? bet on who he liked?
HERMIONE: yup
HARRY: Well who'd you bet on?
HERMIONE: Snape, Sirius, and him (points to voldie) bet it was me and Me, Ron and Professor McGonagall thought it was you
HARRY: That's just wrong
HERMIONE: yea, but you honestly think i'd say Malfoy liked me?
HARRY: Well, no
HERMIONE: Point proven.
A/N: Yet another chapter done! =)
BRITTANY: Be sure to tune in next time for the next episode of...
HERMIONE: Dum dum dum dum dum....
RON: T.H.T.
HARRY: PRESENTS:
MINERVA: HARRY
SIRIUS: POTTER
SNAPE: MYSTERY
VOLDEMORT: THEATER
MALFOY: !!!
You've came, you've saw, now review!
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Disclaimer: I own nothing Harry Potter ect. (did you know ect. translates into blah, blah, blah?) I also do not own the Poem. It is from a book my friend is reading. I think it's called Through the Looking Glass and Other Adventures. Its also from the movie Alice in Wonderland. Once again, Katherine Owns the badfic.
Claimer: I own the orange, black, and red rooms. I also own my Longhorns Calander
Twisted Humor Theaters Presents: Harry Potter Mystery Theater
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unfortunately, our favorite (fay-vor-ight) heros and heroesses are perfectly sane. Except mabe Harry and Draco, but they annoy each other. Nobody (to my dismay) has gotten a Pink, frilly dress and tights. Lets see what they're up to now....
Every one except Harry and Draco were in a heated arguement about who Draco likes.
Earlier that morning, Hermione had found the uh messages. She, Minnie and Ron thinks it's Harry. Voldie, Sirius and Sevvie thinks it's Hermione. I know who it is, but that would ruin it all!!
RED ROOM (Better known as Hell)
Harry and Draco were asleep. They were in different beanbags, of course, across the room from eachother.
VOICE: Harry, Draco! Wake UP!
Harry and Draco wake up. They look at eachother, and bolt to the bathcloset. Harry gets there first and comes out 15 minutes later. Draco does the same. Good thing they're not morning people. It took that long just to settle the 6 in the orange room down.
VOICE: Well! What are you waiting for?! Out into the orange room.
They left, in frear of losing a bean bag.
ORANGE ROOM
VOICE: Good morning every one! Harry, Draco, how was YOUR night?
HARRY (bitterly): Just peachy
VOICE (missing the bitterness, how i dont know. He was awful bitter..): Great! I've got a poem I'm going to read to you!
MALFOY: Is it about any of us?
VOICE: No
HARRY: Then it's off to a good start already.
VOICE:twinkle twinkle little bat
how i wonder where you're at
up above the world you fly
like a tea tray in the sky
twinkle little bat how i wonder where you're at
MINERVA: That was uh erm interesting
HERMIONE: I've heard that before! When i was little... it's from a movie.....
VOICE: Okieday! Onto the next badfic!
A stack of parchment appears infront of Voldemort. He begins:
Hi all I'm back again! Yes you can keep a crazy Gemini down. So pull up a chair, or couch grab some pop and get ready to rumble!!!!!!!!!! No wait that's no right…..hum…well I guess it can!
DRACO: Too perky
RON: I'll say
Raindeer Furby Rides Again!!!!!!!!
By Katherine aka Star. ^.^
HERMIONE, HARRY: NO! NOT FURBIES!!
RON: What are furbies?
HERMIONE: It's this muggle toy and it speaks 'furbish' and the more you play with it, it'll learn english. It's bloody annoying. I killed mine.
SNAPE: Oh shit its the same one who wrote that I thought Granger was sexy
It was a dark, wet and miserable night. The sky flashed with lighting the sounds of thunder filled the air. Then came a very loud sound, it came form you guess it Furby!!!!!!!!
SIRIUS: At least it's not a sunny, cloudless, happy, perky day
DRACO: I didn't guess it was furby.
Kah toh-loo noh-lah wah! (which means I like to dance!) followed by kah mee-mee a-tay! (means I'm very hungry!)
MINERVA: Well thanks for the translations... It's not like any of US speak furbish.
HARRY: I don't know Professor. You think that mabe Professor Snape does?
ALL (But snape and voldie and draco): LOL!!!!!!!
HERMIONE: Oh shit! A very hungry, dancing furby! This CAN'T be good
RON: These fics are never good
With that yelled out for all the world to hear, our hero Raindear Furby marched on his quest to find a place to dance and eat. He was a cute little guy with a fuzzy hat and bells on him. His mission was the same, well it was mulit parted. Eat, dance, sleep and convert others to you guessed it Furbish!!!!!!!! Yes, our short little hero was at it again. After having converted Ultros ( note to all he's the purple octopus, form Final Fantasy 3/6) and the remaining Malofy along with lots of others. He was out again with his converting, one would almost think he was a crazy catholic.
MALFOY: What does they mean, 'the remaining Malfoy'?!
HERMIONE: Mabe he killed your parents and converted you to furbish
VOICE: Naughty Hermione! You've been reading ahead
HERMIONE: No I haven't! I just guessed
RON: NO! Not descriptions! I hate discritpions!
Raindeer decided to head to his old buddy Hagard's place so he could sleep in a nice dry and warm place. He slipped into the hut about 10:00pm, not wanting to be a jerk he placed him self in his regular spot, after drying off by the fire. He then went to sleep, as all furbies like to do. Latter the next morning Raindeer woke and begin to teach Fang you guessed it furbish! He also taught Norbit, who was a very fast study. After he was done he left the hut to get Hagard some more dragon eggs as a way of saying thank you for the nice warm spot.
HERMIONE: Look at all the spelling and grammer mistakes!! It's Hagrid! And Norbert! Not Norbit!
MALFOY (To Snape): Told you! He had a dragon!! but no! you didn't listen!!
HARRY: How did she find out about Norbert?
SIRIUS: Figures. Him making friends with a Furby....
After Raindeer got done sending the eggs to Hargard by way of wizarding FedEx. He set off to beat up a big fat drunken jerky boy who was named……(No it wasn't Lucius I killed him off in the first furby fic. Cause he is a jerk, and a evil gay death eater! Not that being gay is bad just working for a gay evil dude like Voldie is bad. ) Now as I was saying this jerks name was Fudge! Now Fudge was a short fat ass who had bad hair and worse breath. He was for some unknown reason the head of the ministry. Why I don't know I think he had blackmail or something, on someone important. Now as luck would have it, Fudge was out for his morning walk. So my hero and yours didn't have far to go, to beat the crap out of him. Raindear walked up to the short loser with bad hair and said. "You suck, I must make you sleep for good."
MINERVA: I'm starting to think this furby guy's not half bad... Killing Lucius, Destroying Fudge.... He's got spunk...
SIRIUS: Don't you dare think about cheating on me with a furby!
RON: What's FedEx?
HERMIONE: really fast muggle postal service
VOLDIEMORT: I'm not gay! I'm evil, true, but not gay! and It's Voldemort! Not Voldie!
HARRY: YES! Make Fudge sleep for good! Then end the fic and everyone will be happy!
MALFOY: You realise even if it does destroy Fudge, the fic won't end there
SNAPE: I'm not gay!!
Well Fudge being dumber than a collage student on crystal meth. Did not run, no he did what any dumb ass would do, he asked the ever stupid question. "Who are you, and why do you want me dead?" As you can imagine Raindeer was really brassed off by this, how dare the moron in front of him ask this! Was he blind, was he stupid, was he a 500lbs undead jackass with really bad hair and worse breath? Helle yes! Fudge was dumber than a ice troll who had thought he could kick Thor's butt.
MINERVA: What's crystal meth?
HERMIONE: Muggle narcotic
MINERVA: This girls got Fudge summed up pretty good
Raindeer: "U-Nye lee-koo here u-Nye dah loo-loo kah going to noh-lah on your grave!" (Which means "you listen here you big joke, I'm going to dance on your grave.")
HARRY: GO FURBY!
With that mix of both furbish and Minnesotan Raindeer kicked the crap out of Fudge. (note to the misters knocking MN will get you a fate worse than death.) It was so bad I can't even go into the details of how badly beaten he was. Let's just say that where wasn't enough of Fudge left to fill up a shoe box. But just enough left that a traveling potions sales wizard, bottled what was left to sell.
ALL: You go furby!
VOLDEMORT: burn his wizard ass!
After having sent Fudge to the next world, Raindeer found that he still had time on his paws. So he head off to Hogwarts to say hi to his other pal who lived there. No not Albus, Raindeer is just a little to violent for him. He went to see Hermonie, his all powerful witch friend who he thought was the greatest lady since Minny had been young. Now as you can guess our hero does not like his pals to be dised. So when he saw a certain dark haired hotttie of a potions master being a bit mean to his buddy Herm. Well he was mighty miffed off,( Katherine: "after all just cause you're a hottie Snape honey you don't have to be rude." ) So Raindeer being the good smartens that he was. Walked up to Snape and said, "Mr. Snape you have no right to hell at my homgal Herm. Just cause she's smarter than your group of dumbassies is no reason to bit*h. (Katherine: "You should be better than that after all your one hot wizard and smart too. ) So I want you to say your sorry to my homgal now."
SNAPE: atleast SOMEBODY acctually sees me for what I am
MINERVA: Yea, a big fat grease head with a huge nose
SNAPE: There is no way in hell I'm going to apoligize to Granger... even if she is smarter then my Slytherins! They're way cooler!
SIRIUS: How childish
Well Sev being the wizard that he is, was shocked to see a living furby. After all furbys were supposed have been wiped out. With the only furbys now being the muggle toys. This shocked the heck out of the hottie potions master. So he turned form the furby and told Herm he was sorry, cause no man messes with a raindeer furby, if he wants to live anyway. Herm walked off with Raindeer and they chatted about all that Rain had been up to. After Rain had said good-bye to Herm, he remembered that he still had a favor to pay off. So in the dead of the night he made his way to Sev's room and used a powerful sleep potion on him. Then put him in a magic shippers box, bed and all, and sent him to an old friend in MN. Who he was paying back for the time she helped him convert half of TX to furbish. Let's just say that the said lady was very happy when she got up to get the mail the next morning.
SNAPE: There never were furbies in the wizarding world!! I would never aplolgize! I'd get my wand and hex the fuckin thing!
HARRY, DRACO, HERMIONE, RON: Haha Professor! You got sent to MN where ever that is to some muggle who helped convert half of texas to furbish!
SNAPE: oh shut it
The End!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL: YEA!!!
Nope sorry just messing with yeah all,
ALL: BOO!
Katherine and Sev got married and had five kids. Herm got married to Harry and had a set of twins. Ron and Lavender had three sets of twins and two others. Draco got married to Cho and has about 15 kids. Minny and Albus got married as well, but she sees Voldie on the side. Remus and Cassie Lupin got together, Sirus named was cleared, and rat boy was eaten by trolls.
SNAPE: NO! I'm not marrying her! and I'm certainly not having 5 kids!
HARRY: No! I don't wanna marry Hermione
HERMIONE: It's just a fic... remember that... it's just a really bad fic....
MALFOY: NO! Not that Cedric loving bitch!
MINERVA: Sirius, who's Cassie Lupin, and why is she marrying Remus if they already have the same last name?
SIRIUS: I duno. This fic wasn't so bad after all.. Fudge got killed. Lucius was already dead my name got cleared and 'rat boy' got eaten!
VOLDEMORT: Pettigrew got what he deserved
RON: I didn't get married.. mabe that's a good thing...
The End!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL: YEA!!
VOICE: Now then! Harry, Draco, off to your room!
HERMIONE: Wait! I wanna know who Draco likes!!
ALL (But Draco): Yea!
DRACO: It's none of your buisness
HERMIONE: You should have thought of that before you wrote it all over a couch
DRACO: hmph
RON: Well...
DRACO: (in a very, very, very, very, very, very,very, very low voice) hermione
but Hermione heard it
HERMIONE: Eww!
SNAPE, SIRIUS, VOLDEMORT: Told ya so!
HERMIONE, MINERVA, RON: Hmph
HARRY: What'd y'all do? bet on who he liked?
HERMIONE: yup
HARRY: Well who'd you bet on?
HERMIONE: Snape, Sirius, and him (points to voldie) bet it was me and Me, Ron and Professor McGonagall thought it was you
HARRY: That's just wrong
HERMIONE: yea, but you honestly think i'd say Malfoy liked me?
HARRY: Well, no
HERMIONE: Point proven.
A/N: Yet another chapter done! =)
BRITTANY: Be sure to tune in next time for the next episode of...
HERMIONE: Dum dum dum dum dum....
RON: T.H.T.
HARRY: PRESENTS:
MINERVA: HARRY
SIRIUS: POTTER
SNAPE: MYSTERY
VOLDEMORT: THEATER
MALFOY: !!!
You've came, you've saw, now review!
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