A/N: Chapter 6! yea!! thnx so much Katheirne aka Star for the last 3 fics!
Disclaimer: You've read this far... if you must know, see previous chapters
Claimer: I own the red, black and orange rooms along with my AV marker.
We have left our favorite heros and she-ros (are they our very favorite?? i like superman...) here for 6 days! Next badfic is Harry and Draco's last day together, and everyone has a special place in their heart for Raindear Furby.
Harry and Draco were bored out of their minds, so they decided to have a truce to play exploading snap. They were acctoualy having a pretty good time, even if they were each other's arch nemisisses. The rest were in the orange room, sleeping.
ORANGE ROOM
VOICE: WAKE UP! It's time for your next badfic!
SIRIUS: Not THIS early!
VOICE: I'll make it even earliery next time if you dont' shut the fuck up and wake up!
RON: Aren't we in a plesent mood this morning
VOICE: Hardey har har
SNAPE: OH stuff it with the sarcasam Call Malfoy and Potter in here so we can get this over with
VOICE: IF you want them in here so bad, call them
SNAPE: What?
VOICE: Call them. They've got a telly. Their number is 888-5555 (a/n: i woudn't call that number.. i don't even know if its real...)
So Snape picks up the telly that appeared by the frige and dialed their number. The telly in the red room rings. Harry walks over and picks it up, and answers. Its Snape.
HARRY: Malfoy! Telly!
Malfoy takes the telly and answers:
MALFOY: What
SNAPE: Get you and Potter's asses in the orange room for the fic now!
MALFOY: OK! OK!
They both hang up
MALFOY: Hurry up Potter. We're wanted for the annual fic reading
HARRY: Oh Joy
Once Harry and Draco come into the black room, and once they're seated, a stack of parchement appears infront of Minerva. She reads:
My First Harry Fic! By Katheirne aka Star.....
HERMIONE: So we've been reading the Fics she's wrote in order backwards?!
VOICE: Not quite
HARRY: This Can't be good.......
Who by the way is a Lily/Snape Shipper for life.
don't worry I won't place anything in here over pg- 13
HARRY/SNAPE: That's just WRONG
HARRY: Jinks, Professor. You owe me a butter beer.
HERMIONE: At least It's going to be kept at a PG-13 level
HARRY: Thank god
Lily's Big secert.
RON: How exciting!
SNAPE: This can't be good.... Expecailly since the author is a Lilly/me shipper
Lily had a bigg secert,
SIRIUS: Imagine that...
it was realllly bigg and would effect the lives of many people.
MINERVA: Lily's secrets always effected the lives of many people
Unfortunitly her secert was unable to come out, cause old Voldie got luckly and managed to food posion her and JamesI'majerkpotter.
HARRY: That's not how they died! He (points at voldie) used the Avada Kedavera curse on them!!
VOLDEMORT: Yea! And my name's not Voldie! It's Lord Voldemort or The Dark Lord not VOLDIE!!
SIRIUS: James wans't a jerk! And that WASN'T his middle name
SNAPE: Was so
HARRY: I wouldn't know....
So poor Lily's secert had yet to find it's way to the light of day.
SIRIUS: And hopefully it never will
This made her very unhappy, for the man that she still loved was caused great pain by this.
MINERVA: Lily.... unhappy? NEVER she was always too perky
The guy she loved was not James,
HARRY: I don't like the way this is going
HERMIONE: Me either
duh James was a drunken woman beater who should have been drug out into the street and shot.
HARRY: Once again, I wouldn't know....
SIRIUS: No he shouldn't! And he wasn't a drunken woman beater! If anyone should be drug out into the street an be shot it's Snape
SNAPE: I resent that
Along with Draco's dad who was a big time dunken pig.
DRACO: He's not a pig!!
HERMIONE: This girl is pretty good at summing people up except mabe Harry's dad and mum....
RON: Yea well she's a crazed lunitic so SOMEBODY's got to be out of caracter
But who gives a flying monkey about him, he's a lozzzzer. Along with Ratface and Voldumes who both should be shoot.
VOLDEMORT: I'm not VOLDUMES!! I'M VOLDEMORT!!!! I'm going to kill this author...
RON: You can't you dont' have your wand
VOLDEMORT: Damn I forgot
MINERVA: This story just keeps getting better and better....
DRACO: My father is not a loser!
HARRY: You just think that
Now Lily had been resting in Asgar for about 12 years with all of the realllly cool, honored dead.
HARRY: What's Asgar?
RON: I duno
SNAPE: Lily wasn't cool or honored! She was a gossiping freak who was head over heels for Potter!
She was still sad, cause of all the pain her baby boy Harry was in along with the man she loved.
HARRY: I'm NOT a baby!
HERMIONE: Who exactly is this man she loved?
SIRIUS: Do we really want to know?
MINERVA: No
Now when Lily had first died she had not known, that Harry would be sent to her bit*h of a sister.
HARRY: That pretty sums up Aunt Petunia...
Had she known she would have not gone, she would have killed the bit*ch and her spawn off.
VOLDEMORT: She didn't have any choice in the matter
HARRY: YEA! KIll her! and Uncle Vernon and Dudley!!! DIE YOU MUGGLES!!! DIE!!!
HERMIONE: HARRY!
HARRY: what?
Then raised her baby boy herself, with the man she worshiped and loved.
HARRY: i'm NOT a baby!
MINERVA: So now she worships him too
Then one sunny day Thor came up to Lily and said "Since you have had to suffer so much, I have decided to send you back."
SNAPE: That's not possible! You can't be raised from the dead! SOMEBODY hasn't read Hogwarts, A History
RON: Who's Thor
HERMIONE: I think he's a Egyptian God or something
RON: oh
Lily thanked Thor greatly and went to pack her stuff.
SIRIUS: She's dead.... how does she have stuff?
Then cameback, to Thor and was sent back to earth and Hogwarts. She was sent in one of Thor's lighting bolts since that was the only way to send one to Hogwarts, directly.
HERMIONE: no it's not SOMEBODY hasn't read Hogwarts, A History
RON: Snape just said that
HERMIONE: He did?
moment of deja vu
HARRY: ANYWAYS
So you can amagin how Snape felt. When out of no where this lighting bolt came down right beside him. Just as he had placed his most hottie self into a nice big hot steaming bath. He was pretty shoke up, after all when you have to spy on Voldie. You get pretty stressed out sometimes, no matter how cool you are.
VOLDEMORT: You spy on me?
SNAPE: No, my lord
HARRY, HERMIONE, RON, MINERVA, SIRIUS: YES YOU DO!
MALFOY: You take 'hot steamy baths'?, professor?
SNAPE: NO
He jumped over to his wand ready to tosh out a curse or two. When the smoke cleared he was shocked to see a naked Lily standing before him! Now it was Lily's turn to be shocked, a wet naked man with a nice looking unit was standing before her. Lily blinked for a sec then realllized it was Snape!
SNAPE: EWW! LILY! NAKED! NO!! MY EYES!!
ALL (BESIDES SNAPE): EWW! that's too much information!!!
Lily felt tears forming in her eyes, it was her lost lover, Snape the only man she had ever loved. The man she had first been with, was standing before her. She had never before had been so happy in the last 12 years. The two of them embraced and melted into the hot steaming bath tub.
SNAPE: I never dated her!
HARRY: That's just wrong... my mum and Snape... in a tub... ew!!!
Latter that night at dinner Albus came over to Harry who was eatting with his buddies Hermoine and Ronnny. He gave Harry his come with me, things have changed big time look. He and Harry propmtey went to Snape's office. As Harry came in behind Albus, he saw prof Snape and Lily??? What the heck was going on, how could his mum be alive, she had been taken out by Voldie. What the heck was going on here, had Harry crossed into any other demention or what?
HARRY: I wouldn't care how the hell my mum was alive, i'd care why the hell she was with Snape! And Professor Dumbledor doesn't have a 'Come with me, things have changed big time look'
MINERVA: And this story was going pretty good....
Harry looked form Albus to Snape to his mum, he was in shock.
HARRY: Damn right I was in shock... my mum with Snape...
Lily was the one who decided to speak, "Harry hon, I know this is shocking to see me back. But I can explain, how I'm back and what's been happening to you in the summer is no longer going to happen."
HARRY: Damn. If only my mum wasn't with Snape in this story it'd be pretty good
Harry looked at his mum with a happy heart,
RON: Happy Heart????
HARRY: HELL NO! Not Snape!
HERMIONE: Things'll only get worse you know
he knew only good things would be happening to him.
HARRY: good is not the operative word.... let's try horrible, shitty, miserable...
Cause his mum was back and she loved him, unlike that bit*h pertina.
VOLDEMORT: NO! SHE CAN'T BE BACK! NOOOO!!! I KILLED HER!!
As Harry listen to his mum he wondered why Snape was so close to his, mum. But he didn't care, he had his mum back so who cared about that. After she was done telling Harry, Ablus and Snape how and why she was back. They all nodded in great respect for Thor cause other wise Thor would have kicked some arse.
HARRY: NO! I Do to care if my mum is in love with Snape!!
Lily then decided to tell them all her big secert, with a happy heart and a tear in her eye, she begain to speak.
HERMIONE: Oh dear
Lily: "Harry, Ablus, and Sev. I have something improtant to tell you all. Harry is not James son, he is Sev's son! Yes, he is Sevs son, I only married James because he blackmail me into it."
HARRY: I'm not his his his SON! *points at Snape*
SNAPE: And I'm jumping for joy over this news??
HERMIONE: It's JUST A FIC REPEATE AFTER ME:
IT
HARRY/SNAPE: IT
HERMINOE: IS
HARRY/SNAPE: IS
HERMIONE: JUST
HARRY/SNAPE: JUST
HERMIONE: A
HARRY/SNAPE: A
HERMINOE: FIC
HARRY/SNAPE: FIC
HERMIONE: IT IS JUST A FIC!
HARRY/SNAPE: IT IS JUST A FIC!
HERMIONE: You can stop now
All three of them, looked on in horror how could that rat bastard James have done that to her??? Had he no shame, no honor, no compassion, no sense of right and wrong??? Well of corse he didn't he was James the woman beater Potter!
SIRIUS: For the last damn time! James was NOT a woman beater!
Snape: "What did he blackmail you with Lily?"
MINERVA: Do we want to know??
RON: No
Sev said in his most compasionite voice, he was really pissed off at James for being such an arse. But hey this was James we are talking about, what the heck else can be said. Albus and Harry looked at her with equal compassion and hurt, they both hated James now!
HARRY: I don't hate my father!!
MINERVA: Severus, you have a compassionate voice?
SNAPE: Stuff it, Minerva
Lily: "He threatened to turn Sev into the Voldie for being a spy. I had no choice in the matter, I couldn't let him hurt my Sevvvy. I love him far too much to let him get hurt."
SNAPE: I am NOT Sevvvy!!!
VOLDEMORT: You're spying on me?!? How dare you!!
SNAPE: No, my lord, I'm not
MINERVA, HARRY. HERMIONE, SIRIUS, RON: Yes you are!!
They all looked sick, how could that rat be so damn crule but, as we have said James is a sick rat bastard. Just like wormboy, who should be shoot on site. By the way wormboy if I ever find you I'm going to beat you to death.
SIRIUS: Other than the James is a sick rat basterd comment, this girl's got some pretty good ideas....
HARRY: Of course i looked sick! My mum is with Snape!!
So in the end of may Sev and Lily were married at Hogwarts with Albus as the perist, and Harry as the best man.
HARRY: HELL NO! I'd never be that basterd's best man!
MINERVA/SNAPE: 20 Points to/from Gryffindor!
Ronnnny was the ring bearer, Hermonie was the maid of honor and Sirus was the guy who jumped up went Albus asked if anyone has any reason bla bla exct.
SIRIUS: YEA! I jump up and yell hell no when they ask for anyone who think's they should not get married
HARRY: Me too
HERMIONE: And me
RON: and me
VOLDEMORT: I'd just kill her again
SNAPE: I wouldn't even show up
He was taken to Saint Katherine's home for the mentally unrested. Where he was taken goooood care of and eat lots of cookies and candy.
SIRIUS: mmm... cookies and candy
Cause it was the only way he would clam down, Harry vists him every weekend, so Sirus is not lonly, he comes with Hermoine, each week they try to help him get better.
SNAPE: That could be years
SIRIUS: Shut it Snape
They hope one day to have Sirus back on the outside. Snape and Lily live in a huge mansion with tons of gardens and other cool stuff. They use to live near the Malofy's but they pissed Snape off so they had a accident on late saturday night. Strangely they left all of there stuff to Snape and Lily, nice of them wasn't it.
HARRY: Oh yes very nice.... why the hell would me mum take anything from that sick basterd?
RON: For the same reason she married Snape
The End!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SNAPE: Doubtful
I'm so darn evil! MWahahahaahahahaah!!!!!!!!! Ok, I'm done.
HERMIONE: For once, a bit of truth in the whole story
VOLDEMORT: If she's so darn evil how evil am I?
HARRY: VERY
VOLDEMORT: Good
Harry I'm very sorry if I upset you, I'll go kill ratboy to make it up to you.
HARRY: YES! kill rat boy!!
Sirus, I told you one day I would get even.
SIRIUS: hmph
Sev your damn hot.
SNAPE: Finnaly. some one who sees me for what I really am!
MINERVA: yea, a grease headed git
Lupin you rule.
HARRY/SIRIUS: Yea! Lupin's cool!
Hermonie you should take over the world.
HERMIONE: That's not a bad idea.... kill ff.net!!
Ron, become a professonal prankester.
RON: How did she know that's what i was going to do?
Draco your not daddy's son, your
really Sirus kid. Just do a illousion shartering and you will see what I mean.
DRACO/SIRIUS: That's just WRONG!!
VOLDEMORT: What's an Illousion Shartering?
HERMIONE: i dont know
DRACO: That's a first... brainy Granger doesn't know something!
HERMIONE: Fuck off malfoy
VOICE: Ok! Did you all enjoy today's fic??
ALL: No
VOICE: excellent!!! I've got another game!!
HARRY: This CAN'T be good
HERMIONE: It never is
VOICE: IT'S CHUBBY BUNNNYS!!
RON: What's Chubby Bunnys?
HERMIONE: It's a pretty fun game... 'cept iif it's being directed by her *points up*
VOICE: OK! To play chubby bunnys you stuff a bunch of marshmellows in your mouth and say chubby bunnys. The person who can say chubby bunnys with the most marshmellows in thier mouth wins!!
MALFOY: Sounds better than spin the bottle
VOICE: And the winner gets to use a computer hooked up to the internet, and the losers get to read another badfic!!!!
MINERVA: Oh joy
A bowl of large marshmellows appears infront of them.
VOICE: Now then! Everybody take 3 marshmellows and put them in your mouth!
Everybody complied, for fear of thier lives.
VOICE: Right then. I'mma gonna go inna circle. Harry, you're first.
HARRY: Chubee Buhnnies
VOICE: Good. Hermione?
HERMIONE: Chubby Bunnys
VOICE: Good... Draco
DRACO: Chwubby Bwonnies
VOICE: I'll take it... Sirius
SIRIUS: Chubbey Bunneys
VOICE: Good. Snape?
SNAPE: CWUNBBIE BWONKIES
VOICE: NOPE! YOU'RE OUT!! Voldie?
VOLDEMORT: Chwubbee Bunneys
MINERVA: CHUBBEEE BUNEES
VOICE: ok
VOICE: OK! Now, everybody add 2 more marshmellows!!
And so they did. In doing so they look like a bunch of robed chipmunks.
HARRY: CHUBBEEE BUNNEEES
VOICE: Good...
HERMIONE: Chubbey Bunneeys
VOICE: Good
SIRIUS: CWUHHBEE BUHNEEYZ
VOICE: Noppers... you're out
SIRIUS: Damn
VOLDEMORT: CHWUMBEE BWONNEYS
VOICE: Nope! You're out too
Voldemort: damn you
MINERVA: Chubbee Bunneeys
VOICE: Good! now everybody who's still in add 1 more marshmellow!
And so they did
HARRY: CHWOMBEE BOWNEEYS
VOICE: Nope! You're out!!
HERMIONE: CHUBBEEE BUNNIEEES
VOICE: Ok
RON: CWONDI BUNNDEES
VOICE: Nopeers! Next!
MINERVA: Chubeee Bunneeees!!
VOICE: OK
Now add 1 more marshmellow!
HERMIONE: *spits marshmellows out* too many!
VOICE: Okieday! Minerva, if you can do this, you win!!
MINERVA: CHUHBEE BUHNEES!
VOICE: YEA! YOU GOT IT! No bad fic for Minnie next time!!
ALL ( but Minnie): Damn
VOICE: For the rest of you.... EL BADFIC!!!
And that ends today's episode of..........
HARRY: Twisted
RON: Humor
HERMIONE: Theaters
DRACO: Presents
MINERVA: Harry
SIRIUS: Potter
VOLDEMORT: Mystery
SNAPE: Theater
Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode
COMMERCIAL BREAK!
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Found in candy stores near you
Dr. Pepper:
Be you
Campbles Soup:
Mm! Mm! Good!
Goldfishes:
I love fishes 'cuz they're so delicious! Got goldfishes!
BACK TO THE SHOW:
Next time on T.H.T Presents: Harry Potter Mystery Theater:
Harry and Draco's last day in the Room from Hell
and something involving whipped cream, oreos, m&ms and Sirius.....
Got questinos for our contestants?? sure you do! leave 'em in a review!!
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Disclaimer: You've read this far... if you must know, see previous chapters
Claimer: I own the red, black and orange rooms along with my AV marker.
We have left our favorite heros and she-ros (are they our very favorite?? i like superman...) here for 6 days! Next badfic is Harry and Draco's last day together, and everyone has a special place in their heart for Raindear Furby.
Harry and Draco were bored out of their minds, so they decided to have a truce to play exploading snap. They were acctoualy having a pretty good time, even if they were each other's arch nemisisses. The rest were in the orange room, sleeping.
ORANGE ROOM
VOICE: WAKE UP! It's time for your next badfic!
SIRIUS: Not THIS early!
VOICE: I'll make it even earliery next time if you dont' shut the fuck up and wake up!
RON: Aren't we in a plesent mood this morning
VOICE: Hardey har har
SNAPE: OH stuff it with the sarcasam Call Malfoy and Potter in here so we can get this over with
VOICE: IF you want them in here so bad, call them
SNAPE: What?
VOICE: Call them. They've got a telly. Their number is 888-5555 (a/n: i woudn't call that number.. i don't even know if its real...)
So Snape picks up the telly that appeared by the frige and dialed their number. The telly in the red room rings. Harry walks over and picks it up, and answers. Its Snape.
HARRY: Malfoy! Telly!
Malfoy takes the telly and answers:
MALFOY: What
SNAPE: Get you and Potter's asses in the orange room for the fic now!
MALFOY: OK! OK!
They both hang up
MALFOY: Hurry up Potter. We're wanted for the annual fic reading
HARRY: Oh Joy
Once Harry and Draco come into the black room, and once they're seated, a stack of parchement appears infront of Minerva. She reads:
My First Harry Fic! By Katheirne aka Star.....
HERMIONE: So we've been reading the Fics she's wrote in order backwards?!
VOICE: Not quite
HARRY: This Can't be good.......
Who by the way is a Lily/Snape Shipper for life.
don't worry I won't place anything in here over pg- 13
HARRY/SNAPE: That's just WRONG
HARRY: Jinks, Professor. You owe me a butter beer.
HERMIONE: At least It's going to be kept at a PG-13 level
HARRY: Thank god
Lily's Big secert.
RON: How exciting!
SNAPE: This can't be good.... Expecailly since the author is a Lilly/me shipper
Lily had a bigg secert,
SIRIUS: Imagine that...
it was realllly bigg and would effect the lives of many people.
MINERVA: Lily's secrets always effected the lives of many people
Unfortunitly her secert was unable to come out, cause old Voldie got luckly and managed to food posion her and JamesI'majerkpotter.
HARRY: That's not how they died! He (points at voldie) used the Avada Kedavera curse on them!!
VOLDEMORT: Yea! And my name's not Voldie! It's Lord Voldemort or The Dark Lord not VOLDIE!!
SIRIUS: James wans't a jerk! And that WASN'T his middle name
SNAPE: Was so
HARRY: I wouldn't know....
So poor Lily's secert had yet to find it's way to the light of day.
SIRIUS: And hopefully it never will
This made her very unhappy, for the man that she still loved was caused great pain by this.
MINERVA: Lily.... unhappy? NEVER she was always too perky
The guy she loved was not James,
HARRY: I don't like the way this is going
HERMIONE: Me either
duh James was a drunken woman beater who should have been drug out into the street and shot.
HARRY: Once again, I wouldn't know....
SIRIUS: No he shouldn't! And he wasn't a drunken woman beater! If anyone should be drug out into the street an be shot it's Snape
SNAPE: I resent that
Along with Draco's dad who was a big time dunken pig.
DRACO: He's not a pig!!
HERMIONE: This girl is pretty good at summing people up except mabe Harry's dad and mum....
RON: Yea well she's a crazed lunitic so SOMEBODY's got to be out of caracter
But who gives a flying monkey about him, he's a lozzzzer. Along with Ratface and Voldumes who both should be shoot.
VOLDEMORT: I'm not VOLDUMES!! I'M VOLDEMORT!!!! I'm going to kill this author...
RON: You can't you dont' have your wand
VOLDEMORT: Damn I forgot
MINERVA: This story just keeps getting better and better....
DRACO: My father is not a loser!
HARRY: You just think that
Now Lily had been resting in Asgar for about 12 years with all of the realllly cool, honored dead.
HARRY: What's Asgar?
RON: I duno
SNAPE: Lily wasn't cool or honored! She was a gossiping freak who was head over heels for Potter!
She was still sad, cause of all the pain her baby boy Harry was in along with the man she loved.
HARRY: I'm NOT a baby!
HERMIONE: Who exactly is this man she loved?
SIRIUS: Do we really want to know?
MINERVA: No
Now when Lily had first died she had not known, that Harry would be sent to her bit*h of a sister.
HARRY: That pretty sums up Aunt Petunia...
Had she known she would have not gone, she would have killed the bit*ch and her spawn off.
VOLDEMORT: She didn't have any choice in the matter
HARRY: YEA! KIll her! and Uncle Vernon and Dudley!!! DIE YOU MUGGLES!!! DIE!!!
HERMIONE: HARRY!
HARRY: what?
Then raised her baby boy herself, with the man she worshiped and loved.
HARRY: i'm NOT a baby!
MINERVA: So now she worships him too
Then one sunny day Thor came up to Lily and said "Since you have had to suffer so much, I have decided to send you back."
SNAPE: That's not possible! You can't be raised from the dead! SOMEBODY hasn't read Hogwarts, A History
RON: Who's Thor
HERMIONE: I think he's a Egyptian God or something
RON: oh
Lily thanked Thor greatly and went to pack her stuff.
SIRIUS: She's dead.... how does she have stuff?
Then cameback, to Thor and was sent back to earth and Hogwarts. She was sent in one of Thor's lighting bolts since that was the only way to send one to Hogwarts, directly.
HERMIONE: no it's not SOMEBODY hasn't read Hogwarts, A History
RON: Snape just said that
HERMIONE: He did?
moment of deja vu
HARRY: ANYWAYS
So you can amagin how Snape felt. When out of no where this lighting bolt came down right beside him. Just as he had placed his most hottie self into a nice big hot steaming bath. He was pretty shoke up, after all when you have to spy on Voldie. You get pretty stressed out sometimes, no matter how cool you are.
VOLDEMORT: You spy on me?
SNAPE: No, my lord
HARRY, HERMIONE, RON, MINERVA, SIRIUS: YES YOU DO!
MALFOY: You take 'hot steamy baths'?, professor?
SNAPE: NO
He jumped over to his wand ready to tosh out a curse or two. When the smoke cleared he was shocked to see a naked Lily standing before him! Now it was Lily's turn to be shocked, a wet naked man with a nice looking unit was standing before her. Lily blinked for a sec then realllized it was Snape!
SNAPE: EWW! LILY! NAKED! NO!! MY EYES!!
ALL (BESIDES SNAPE): EWW! that's too much information!!!
Lily felt tears forming in her eyes, it was her lost lover, Snape the only man she had ever loved. The man she had first been with, was standing before her. She had never before had been so happy in the last 12 years. The two of them embraced and melted into the hot steaming bath tub.
SNAPE: I never dated her!
HARRY: That's just wrong... my mum and Snape... in a tub... ew!!!
Latter that night at dinner Albus came over to Harry who was eatting with his buddies Hermoine and Ronnny. He gave Harry his come with me, things have changed big time look. He and Harry propmtey went to Snape's office. As Harry came in behind Albus, he saw prof Snape and Lily??? What the heck was going on, how could his mum be alive, she had been taken out by Voldie. What the heck was going on here, had Harry crossed into any other demention or what?
HARRY: I wouldn't care how the hell my mum was alive, i'd care why the hell she was with Snape! And Professor Dumbledor doesn't have a 'Come with me, things have changed big time look'
MINERVA: And this story was going pretty good....
Harry looked form Albus to Snape to his mum, he was in shock.
HARRY: Damn right I was in shock... my mum with Snape...
Lily was the one who decided to speak, "Harry hon, I know this is shocking to see me back. But I can explain, how I'm back and what's been happening to you in the summer is no longer going to happen."
HARRY: Damn. If only my mum wasn't with Snape in this story it'd be pretty good
Harry looked at his mum with a happy heart,
RON: Happy Heart????
HARRY: HELL NO! Not Snape!
HERMIONE: Things'll only get worse you know
he knew only good things would be happening to him.
HARRY: good is not the operative word.... let's try horrible, shitty, miserable...
Cause his mum was back and she loved him, unlike that bit*h pertina.
VOLDEMORT: NO! SHE CAN'T BE BACK! NOOOO!!! I KILLED HER!!
As Harry listen to his mum he wondered why Snape was so close to his, mum. But he didn't care, he had his mum back so who cared about that. After she was done telling Harry, Ablus and Snape how and why she was back. They all nodded in great respect for Thor cause other wise Thor would have kicked some arse.
HARRY: NO! I Do to care if my mum is in love with Snape!!
Lily then decided to tell them all her big secert, with a happy heart and a tear in her eye, she begain to speak.
HERMIONE: Oh dear
Lily: "Harry, Ablus, and Sev. I have something improtant to tell you all. Harry is not James son, he is Sev's son! Yes, he is Sevs son, I only married James because he blackmail me into it."
HARRY: I'm not his his his SON! *points at Snape*
SNAPE: And I'm jumping for joy over this news??
HERMIONE: It's JUST A FIC REPEATE AFTER ME:
IT
HARRY/SNAPE: IT
HERMINOE: IS
HARRY/SNAPE: IS
HERMIONE: JUST
HARRY/SNAPE: JUST
HERMIONE: A
HARRY/SNAPE: A
HERMINOE: FIC
HARRY/SNAPE: FIC
HERMIONE: IT IS JUST A FIC!
HARRY/SNAPE: IT IS JUST A FIC!
HERMIONE: You can stop now
All three of them, looked on in horror how could that rat bastard James have done that to her??? Had he no shame, no honor, no compassion, no sense of right and wrong??? Well of corse he didn't he was James the woman beater Potter!
SIRIUS: For the last damn time! James was NOT a woman beater!
Snape: "What did he blackmail you with Lily?"
MINERVA: Do we want to know??
RON: No
Sev said in his most compasionite voice, he was really pissed off at James for being such an arse. But hey this was James we are talking about, what the heck else can be said. Albus and Harry looked at her with equal compassion and hurt, they both hated James now!
HARRY: I don't hate my father!!
MINERVA: Severus, you have a compassionate voice?
SNAPE: Stuff it, Minerva
Lily: "He threatened to turn Sev into the Voldie for being a spy. I had no choice in the matter, I couldn't let him hurt my Sevvvy. I love him far too much to let him get hurt."
SNAPE: I am NOT Sevvvy!!!
VOLDEMORT: You're spying on me?!? How dare you!!
SNAPE: No, my lord, I'm not
MINERVA, HARRY. HERMIONE, SIRIUS, RON: Yes you are!!
They all looked sick, how could that rat be so damn crule but, as we have said James is a sick rat bastard. Just like wormboy, who should be shoot on site. By the way wormboy if I ever find you I'm going to beat you to death.
SIRIUS: Other than the James is a sick rat basterd comment, this girl's got some pretty good ideas....
HARRY: Of course i looked sick! My mum is with Snape!!
So in the end of may Sev and Lily were married at Hogwarts with Albus as the perist, and Harry as the best man.
HARRY: HELL NO! I'd never be that basterd's best man!
MINERVA/SNAPE: 20 Points to/from Gryffindor!
Ronnnny was the ring bearer, Hermonie was the maid of honor and Sirus was the guy who jumped up went Albus asked if anyone has any reason bla bla exct.
SIRIUS: YEA! I jump up and yell hell no when they ask for anyone who think's they should not get married
HARRY: Me too
HERMIONE: And me
RON: and me
VOLDEMORT: I'd just kill her again
SNAPE: I wouldn't even show up
He was taken to Saint Katherine's home for the mentally unrested. Where he was taken goooood care of and eat lots of cookies and candy.
SIRIUS: mmm... cookies and candy
Cause it was the only way he would clam down, Harry vists him every weekend, so Sirus is not lonly, he comes with Hermoine, each week they try to help him get better.
SNAPE: That could be years
SIRIUS: Shut it Snape
They hope one day to have Sirus back on the outside. Snape and Lily live in a huge mansion with tons of gardens and other cool stuff. They use to live near the Malofy's but they pissed Snape off so they had a accident on late saturday night. Strangely they left all of there stuff to Snape and Lily, nice of them wasn't it.
HARRY: Oh yes very nice.... why the hell would me mum take anything from that sick basterd?
RON: For the same reason she married Snape
The End!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SNAPE: Doubtful
I'm so darn evil! MWahahahaahahahaah!!!!!!!!! Ok, I'm done.
HERMIONE: For once, a bit of truth in the whole story
VOLDEMORT: If she's so darn evil how evil am I?
HARRY: VERY
VOLDEMORT: Good
Harry I'm very sorry if I upset you, I'll go kill ratboy to make it up to you.
HARRY: YES! kill rat boy!!
Sirus, I told you one day I would get even.
SIRIUS: hmph
Sev your damn hot.
SNAPE: Finnaly. some one who sees me for what I really am!
MINERVA: yea, a grease headed git
Lupin you rule.
HARRY/SIRIUS: Yea! Lupin's cool!
Hermonie you should take over the world.
HERMIONE: That's not a bad idea.... kill ff.net!!
Ron, become a professonal prankester.
RON: How did she know that's what i was going to do?
Draco your not daddy's son, your
really Sirus kid. Just do a illousion shartering and you will see what I mean.
DRACO/SIRIUS: That's just WRONG!!
VOLDEMORT: What's an Illousion Shartering?
HERMIONE: i dont know
DRACO: That's a first... brainy Granger doesn't know something!
HERMIONE: Fuck off malfoy
VOICE: Ok! Did you all enjoy today's fic??
ALL: No
VOICE: excellent!!! I've got another game!!
HARRY: This CAN'T be good
HERMIONE: It never is
VOICE: IT'S CHUBBY BUNNNYS!!
RON: What's Chubby Bunnys?
HERMIONE: It's a pretty fun game... 'cept iif it's being directed by her *points up*
VOICE: OK! To play chubby bunnys you stuff a bunch of marshmellows in your mouth and say chubby bunnys. The person who can say chubby bunnys with the most marshmellows in thier mouth wins!!
MALFOY: Sounds better than spin the bottle
VOICE: And the winner gets to use a computer hooked up to the internet, and the losers get to read another badfic!!!!
MINERVA: Oh joy
A bowl of large marshmellows appears infront of them.
VOICE: Now then! Everybody take 3 marshmellows and put them in your mouth!
Everybody complied, for fear of thier lives.
VOICE: Right then. I'mma gonna go inna circle. Harry, you're first.
HARRY: Chubee Buhnnies
VOICE: Good. Hermione?
HERMIONE: Chubby Bunnys
VOICE: Good... Draco
DRACO: Chwubby Bwonnies
VOICE: I'll take it... Sirius
SIRIUS: Chubbey Bunneys
VOICE: Good. Snape?
SNAPE: CWUNBBIE BWONKIES
VOICE: NOPE! YOU'RE OUT!! Voldie?
VOLDEMORT: Chwubbee Bunneys
MINERVA: CHUBBEEE BUNEES
VOICE: ok
VOICE: OK! Now, everybody add 2 more marshmellows!!
And so they did. In doing so they look like a bunch of robed chipmunks.
HARRY: CHUBBEEE BUNNEEES
VOICE: Good...
HERMIONE: Chubbey Bunneeys
VOICE: Good
SIRIUS: CWUHHBEE BUHNEEYZ
VOICE: Noppers... you're out
SIRIUS: Damn
VOLDEMORT: CHWUMBEE BWONNEYS
VOICE: Nope! You're out too
Voldemort: damn you
MINERVA: Chubbee Bunneeys
VOICE: Good! now everybody who's still in add 1 more marshmellow!
And so they did
HARRY: CHWOMBEE BOWNEEYS
VOICE: Nope! You're out!!
HERMIONE: CHUBBEEE BUNNIEEES
VOICE: Ok
RON: CWONDI BUNNDEES
VOICE: Nopeers! Next!
MINERVA: Chubeee Bunneeees!!
VOICE: OK
Now add 1 more marshmellow!
HERMIONE: *spits marshmellows out* too many!
VOICE: Okieday! Minerva, if you can do this, you win!!
MINERVA: CHUHBEE BUHNEES!
VOICE: YEA! YOU GOT IT! No bad fic for Minnie next time!!
ALL ( but Minnie): Damn
VOICE: For the rest of you.... EL BADFIC!!!
And that ends today's episode of..........
HARRY: Twisted
RON: Humor
HERMIONE: Theaters
DRACO: Presents
MINERVA: Harry
SIRIUS: Potter
VOLDEMORT: Mystery
SNAPE: Theater
Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode
COMMERCIAL BREAK!
Bertie Botts every flavor beans:
Found in candy stores near you
Dr. Pepper:
Be you
Campbles Soup:
Mm! Mm! Good!
Goldfishes:
I love fishes 'cuz they're so delicious! Got goldfishes!
BACK TO THE SHOW:
Next time on T.H.T Presents: Harry Potter Mystery Theater:
Harry and Draco's last day in the Room from Hell
and something involving whipped cream, oreos, m&ms and Sirius.....
Got questinos for our contestants?? sure you do! leave 'em in a review!!
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