Even Though It's Painful...Always

by Kara

*Epilogue up--Complete!* 2024--The virus is gone, and Max and Logan finally have a chance to make their life together. But family problems and the rise of Manticore complicate the issue...

3. The More Loving One

Even Though It's Painful, Always

Chapter 3: The More Loving One

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well

That, for all they care, I can go to hell,

But on earth the indifference is the least

We have to dread from man or beast.

How should we like it, were stars to burn

With a passion for us we could not return?

If equal affection cannot be,

Let the more loving one be me.

--The More Loving One, WH Auden

January passed faster than it normally did. Two days into the new year, Tawny decided to head out to New Orleans. "It's only six weeks til Mardi Gras, baby sister. I need time to prepare." Zane drove to New Mexico, on his latest quest for enlightenment. And Syl and Krit decided to take an X- 5 version of a honeymoon up in Vancouver, just because it was close enough, yet still far enough to be safe. Alec called every now and then, just to give her the 411 on the S1W's latest wild goose chase. At least he and Asha were still speaking.

Turning over in bed, Max couldn't help grinning at the body that snored next to her. Jondy swore every day that she was gonna leave Seattle. And every day, she went to work at Jam Pony, badgered Normal and broke the hearts of their male coworkers. But for reasons that only Jondy knew, her sister stayed. And for the first time in her life, Max got a taste of what it was like to have family always around. That sense of doom she'd felt at New Years gradually faded away into her usual fatalistic view of the world. For once, it was all good, and she was going to enjoy it while it lasted.

"Quit kicking, Maxie," Jondy muttered, rolling herself up tighter into her share of the covers. "I'll tell Zack on you…" It was rare that her sister actually crashed hard enough to talk in her sleep, but Jondy had been worrying a lot lately. Cindy'd berated Jondy yesterday for biting her nails off and then chewing the red polish ragged. Max didn't know what was eating at her sister, but it was something big. Something that she didn't want to talk about. Unless Jondy was starting to come into heat, which could explain it.

They'd both been sleeping more lately. They spent half of their time at Logan's, and half their time with Original Cindy, not that her boo minded too much. Cindy and Star'd been getting tight lately. Sometimes Max wondered if her roommate was falling in love with Star, especially after hearing hours of how hot the girl was, and how soulful her green eyes… Not that Max minded, since she was sure she was just as bad about Logan. And if it meant her best friend was happy, than more power to her. Happiness was in as shitty supply as money, and every little bit counted.

With a groan, she rolled over and got out of bed. Jondy took that opportunity to fling her arms and legs out spread-eagle, claiming Max's side of the bed as her own. Max chuckled to herself as she yawned and stretched. For someone so small, Jondy took up a lot of space when she wanted. Her sister had never had a problem with making herself known when she wanted to. But like all their brothers and sisters, Jondy was just as good as fading into the shadows.

Max walked from her alcove towards their kitchenette, twisting the ring on the fourth finger of her left hand. Logan hadn't pushed her into planning their wedding yet, but she could tell he was getting excited. He kept beaming like a little boy every time he introduced her as his fiancée. Not that she minded or anything. Jondy still teased her about the dopey look she got on her face sometimes, when she remembered Logan proposing. Max could still see him kneeling in front of her, holding the ring up to her as if the fate of the world rested on her answer. She still doubted, sometimes, if she'd made the right choice. But it was the only chance she had, and if she didn't try, she'd never know if she would be the one to break Manticore's curse.

"You're up early." Star's soft voice startled Max. Her green eyes almost glowed in what morning light filtered in through the dirty windows. Cindy's new homegirl was beautiful--not as beautiful as someone made by Manticore, but close enough. She almost looked like she could be gen- synthed, built along the same curvy lines that Syl was. Smooth brown skin, smooth brown hair, cat's green eyes… And she wasn't a bitch either. She actually reminded Max a lot of her name--a little distant, a lot quiet, always watching. She didn't say much, but her silence seemed to suit Original Cindy more, as if her roommate needed someone to help her reflect. Star was a far cry from Diamond, but it was good to see Cindy happy again.

"Couldn't sleep. It happens sometimes." Max didn't mean to be a bitch this early in the morning, but it was still weird having another person in her space. She'd never minded Cindy bringing her girlfriends home before, and she had nothing against Star, but it was different when it was the same woman every week. For a moment, she wondered if Cindy felt the same way about Jondy, even though Jondy contributed to grocery and bribe money each month.

Star nodded from behind her mug of tea. "And then, all you can do is try and think of something else, so that the demons don't get in."

Opening up the fridge, Max thought about that as she rooted around for the leftover pizza she'd hid from the night before. Demons were nothing new. Her night seizures hadn't been half as bad since Jondy moved in, meaning the midnight calls to Fogel Towers only happened a few times a month now. But she still couldn't shake off the feeling like something was dogging her, something that wasn't quite right…

"It's not demons tonight." Max laid the pizza carton on the counter. "It's like I'm restless or something. Or I was hungry." She took two cheesy pieces out of the carton and laid them one on top of each other like a sandwich. "Dunno. Could be winter and my body thinks I should be hibernating, could be I'm just bored." There hadn't been much to do with Eyes Only lately. Jondy and Krit had helped her on the last big run against one of the DAs who decided to take up gun-running as a hobby. But other than that, her time with Logan had been mostly recreational. Well, recreational and clothing optional…

She could feel Star's eyes on her as she polished off the pizza. For a moment, Max thought about offering the other woman some, but decided against it. Sharing was something she hadn't exactly learned the finer points of, even after living Outside. Habits were hard to break, especially when it came to things like pizza. She loved pizza, and all food in general. The sheer variety was enough to make her puddle. "If you're hungry, I think there's still half a chicken in back from Saturday. Logan made it, so it'll be good. But don't eat the stuff in the foil. I think Jondy's trying to recreate life in there or something."

Star actually chuckled. She had a nice laugh, even if she seemed a little too serious sometimes. Max couldn't even imagine what life would've been like without a sense of humor. It had been hard enough, those first months out of Manticore, trying to adapt to a world she'd never dreamed of. Humor wasn't part of Manticore's curriculum, but it was a vital element in survival tactics. And they'd had their own version of fun, even if it did involve the occasional soap fight in the shower, and making faces behind Zack's back in the barracks at night.

"Any pizza left, Maxie?" Jondy padded across the floor in a pair of mismatched socks and a long shirt that Max recognized as one of Zane's. She glared her fiercest Zack glare when she noticed the carton was empty. "You ate seven pieces of pizza for breakfast?"

Max shrugged. "I was hungry."

Jondy shot her the look of death from behind her fringe of straight brown hair. "Cat DNA my ass. More like fucking vacuum cleaner DNA…" Every once in a while, there came a day when all the sleep Jondy hadn't gotten caught up with her. Today seemed like it was that day. And as far as Max was concerned, she was going to stay as far away from her sister as possible.

"There's still the chicken in the fridge," Max offered. "Or the leftover Japanese from yesterday. I don't think Bling ate all the gyoza."

"Gyoza," Jondy muttered as she dug around in the fridge. "I wanted pizza…"

At the mention of pizza, Max's stomach began to rumble again. "If you don't want the gyoza, Jondy, I'll take 'em." The only problem with Japanese food was that all the rice made her stomach think she was full. An hour later, and she was hungry again. And somehow, Max doubted Normal would let her take a munchie break five minutes after she got into work. Her stomach gurgled again, this time sounding like the pipes did before the water heater exploded. "Or maybe potstickers and pizza are a bad combo for breakfast…"

In spite of herself, Jondy began to laugh. "How do you survive without a keeper, Maxie?"

Max leaned against Jondy. "Cindy asks me the same thing sometimes," she admitted with a crooked grin.

"You both gonna need keepers if you keep wakin' Original Cindy up before the sun shines," Cindy's voice called from behind her curtained-off alcove. The flowered sheet was pushed aside, and Original Cindy stumbled out, rubbing at her eyes just as Jondy had a moment before. "And don't tell me you ate all the pizza, boo, or I might have to put a smackdown on your ass…"

"Potsticker?" Jondy held the bowl out as if it was a peace offering. "And there's chicken, and the weird blue stuff in the foil from December…"

Original Cindy shook her head as she leaned forward, kissing Star lightly on the mouth. "Original Cindy don't know how either of you survived without keepers, sugar. But I gotta admit, you two done a pretty slam-ass job. Now hand over that chicken before Original Cindy start eating the plate, aiight?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Logan sat hunched over the computer, dread filling his stomach. Something wasn't right in Gillette. For some reason, the SAC base was reactivated. It was only a small contingent of OB-GYNs and medical staff who had been transferred-not more than 30 in all, but any sign of Manticore re-rearing its ugly head wasn't a good thing. Somehow, he didn't think this was the end of it either.

"Home, we're honey!" Jondy's light voice echoed through the apartment as he heard the sound of two pairs of feet hitting the floor under the skylight. At least Max and Jondy kept life interesting. He never was sure what he was going to get from the two of them. The last time Jondy'd been in a playful mood, it had involved a snowball fight under the Space NeedleS at 3 am.

"In here!" Logan closed out the window, opening up the other thing that had been occupying his mind when he was supposed to be writing that article on gene-therapy overseas for the Streets of Seattle Press. It was something a little more urgent than Manticore, something he and Max would have to start planning soon--their wedding. He'd planned a wedding once, with Valerie, and that had been almost as big and gaudy as Bennett's wedding. But Max wasn't Val. Max wasn't using the Cale name to climb the social ladder. She never made false promises, never tried to make him into something he wasn't…

"Hey," Max said, leaning over his shoulder to kiss him. "Find something on Manticore?" She peered at the screen.

"Do you think of anything besides Manticore and saving the world?" Jondy looked over his other shoulder. "Writing more poetry, huh? 'There were times I was lost, and you found me. There were days which were heavy, and you lightened my heart,'" she read. "Not bad, Miracle Boy."

"Through it all, since the day when we met, there was you for me and me for you," Max continued reading, a crooked smile on her face. "That hasn't changed. That never will change."

Logan pushed back his wheelchair slightly and turned to face Max, taking her hand in his. "Times have been good, and times have been bad, and still, our love has endured--and triumphed," he recited. He couldn't keep the dopey smile off his face. "I take thee, Max Guevara, to be my lawfully wedded wife."

Max knelt beside him. "I take thee, Logan Cale, to be my lawfully wedded husband."

Jondy stood over them, one hand on each of their shoulders as she finished in the same soft voice, "Through passion, through sorrow and hope, through death and through life. No matter what tomorrow may bring, we will face it together." Logan heard a soft sniffling from behind him. "Shit, Logan. That's beautiful."

He looked down at Max's face, tracing the soft line of her cheekbone. Her face almost shone in the flickering light of the computer, as if for the first time in her life, she felt nothing but happiness. "Our wedding vows." Max's dark eyes widened. "If you like them…"

She nodded slowly, as if the weight of the words finally dawned on her. "It doesn't sound like crossing paths by fate, and partners by choice, but it's still beautiful," Max said finally. "Did you write it?"

Logan shook his head. "You'll laugh, actually."

Looking closer at the screen, Jondy scrolled down. "X-men, The Ties that Bind? You got this from an X-men comic book?" She snickered softly. "Only you two. Only you two would use wedding vows from a comic book and have it be appropriate." Jondy shook her head and snorted. "Wolverine was probably your hero growing up, just because you both had the same name."

He could feel himself blushing as Max began to laugh softly. "What's wrong with that?" he asked defensively.

Jondy leaned down, giving him a light kiss on his forehead. "I'm glad someone still has the guts to be a superhero in this world, big brother. At least I know Max'll keep you in line and watch your skinny ass. We're gonna need you for a while yet." She snorted again. "And somehow, I think it's safer with the two of you together…"

Max stuck her tongue out at her sister. "So, what's for dinner?" The mood broken, Logan found himself suddenly being propelled across the floor by two X-5s. "I didn't smell any food as we came in."

"I thought you were keeping her fed, Logan. All she did at work today was eat. We stopped for lunch twice," Jondy complained as they entered the kitchen. "And then she ate all the leftover pizza for breakfast this morning."

"Like you didn't chow down on thirty wings today when Sketchy brought in leftover chicken," Max countered as she opened the fridge. "Haven't you ever heard of TV dinners, Logan?"

Logan shuddered. "Not when they stopped making them right after the Pulse. I don't care how long the shelf-life is. There are some things I won't eat. TV dinners and Twinkies are among them."

"Now I'm craving artificially-flavored sponge cake." Max began digging through the fridge again. "There's leftover sauce from the pasta on Friday."

Jondy waved a box of spaghetti. "Noodles from the cupboard. If you've got some bread, we can make dinner."

"I can boil the water," Max offered, a proud smile on her face. Her cooking skills hadn't progressed much since her initial foray into cooking, but Logan didn't care. He still loved her.

Dinner was quiet. The electricity bombed out about halfway through dinner, leaving the light of about a hundred candles to fill the seemingly-empty apartment. The candlelight seemed appropriate for the somber mood. Jondy didn't chatter as much as she usually did. It was odd, sitting between the silent two women. Logan was honestly surprised he hadn't gotten tired of having Max's sister around yet. Maybe it was just that he was used to her, with all the time she spent in Seattle after Max was captured. Or maybe it was just that he couldn't imagine life without Jondy.

In some ways, Max's family had become his own. And in some ways, he preferred that to his own flesh and blood. Yeah, Jondy usually spent the night at his place now when Max did, but she always stayed in the guestroom. And there was a comfort in knowing that someone else was there-- someone who could be there for Max when he couldn't, and who could understand all the parts of her that he never would.

"So…" Logan and Max said together. She broke off at the same time he did, as if she remembered that same night of poulet chez Cale--that miraculous moment when everything in his life seemed to fall perfectly into place.

"So…" They started again, this time laughing. Max was beautiful in the candlelight. She was always beautiful, but she seemed to be more so tonight, as if something had deepened her beauty.

"Okay, someone obviously isn't letting me in on the joke, but I'm cool with that," Jondy finally broke in with a sigh. "Not to feel like the third wheel or anything here, but…"

"Jondy, don't leave." Max's face fell, as if she couldn't face the thought of losing her sister again. "I still want you here." She looked at Logan, as if daring him to disagree with her. "Maybe if we all just got out of Seattle for a while…"

Jondy pushed back her chair and stood. She began to pace around the dining room like a caged cat. Once again, Logan could see where the feline DNA came into play, in the way she stalked about the dark room.

Logan wheeled back from the table, pushing himself until his chair was planted directly in Jondy's path. She only glared as her pacing brought her back in front of him, blue eyes crackling with the same fire he'd seen often enough in Zack's. "We don't want you to leave," he said, giving her the same brutal honesty that she'd given him since the beginning. "You aren't a third wheel, Jondy. You're our family."

Jondy smiled a bit at the emphasis he'd placed on 'our.' "I'm just feeling restless again. The last time I felt this restless, it was when Max--" She turned to face her sister, still sitting at the table. Her voice was soft as she continued. "And I can't handle that again. I lost Zack, but I got back Max. Does this mean I'm gonna lose Max and have nothing left?"

She looked small as she stood there, one of Manticore's finest soldiers. She looked like the little girl she'd never been, the little sister he might've had, with his same brown hair and blue eyes. There was even something about her delicate face that reminded Logan of his mother.

"Get away if you have to. My family still has a cabin outside of town, if you wanna crash there for a few days." Logan reached out and took her hand. How could anyone have created such little hands to kill? He grinned at her. "Free vacation…"

Jondy turned to look out the window for a moment, a habit she'd picked up from Max. "Maybe in a few weeks. I just feel like I'm needed here for now." She looked back, and Logan couldn't help noticing the anxious look she shot at Max. He'd learned to trust an X-5's intuition, in the same way he'd learned to trust that warmth inside him that meant his connection to Max.

With a yawn, Jondy dropped his hand and made her way towards the hall. "I think I'm actually going to crash," she said, a look of amazement on her face. "You're making me tired, Maxie. I don't like this." But there was a smile on her face again.

Max stood, reaching out to hug her sister. They made quite a pair--slight Max, and slighter Jondy, the dark and the light. He couldn't even imagine what they must've been like at Manticore. They stood for a while, just clinging to each other. Logan supposed that's how you treated your family, if you didn't know from one day to the next if you'd ever see them again. He still got the feeling that there was something Jondy wasn't telling him, something that he should know about Max…

"Night, baby sister. Night, brother Logan." With a kiss for each of them, Jondy took the lantern that sat on the counter and headed down the hallway, her figure visibly drooping. There seemed to be an invisible weight dragging all of them lately, but Jondy looked the most affected. Max was seemed more tired now, but she still turned the same irrepressible spirit to the world.

His dark angel slipped into his lap, still watching the empty hallway. "I think I might crash with Jondy tonight," she said, resting her head against his. "She needs me."

Logan nodded, grabbing a candle and slowly wheeling them towards the bedroom. "Just knowing you're down the hallway is good enough for me," he whispered into her hair. For once, he was glad of the Japanese-style rice paper walls in his apartment. It meant that you could hear every sound in the room next to you, but it also meant that he could still listen to the sound of Max's breathing, even from the next room over. He stopped the chair for a moment, letting his free arm close about her. "I missed you so much…"

"I know." He could feel her lips against his neck and trailing across his cheek. "I could feel it, even at Manticore." Pulling back from her slightly, he leaned in to kiss her.

"Y'know, before I head to bed, I think I might need a shower," Max said between kisses. Her smile changed slightly to what he could almost call a leer. "Wanna join?"

He chuckled. "You really have to ask?"

Max grinned her crooked grin. "It never hurts to ask."

As they reached the bathroom, she slipped out of his lap and began to light the different candles that sat around the large bathroom. Then, she turned on the faucets in the shower. As steam began to fill the room, Logan couldn't help noticing the rapturous look on her face. "Sometimes I think you love me only for my hot water heater," he said with a laugh.

She gave him an innocent look, dark eyes wide. "Your hot water heater and your cooking," she answered, an indignant look on her face. "Hot water, hot food, and clean undies are all I need to be happy." Max took off her shirt, carefully folding it and setting it on the wicker hamper in the corner. It still amazed him that she could be so neat, even when she was horny. That was one of the things that had changed about Max, since she returned from Manticore. What ever they did in there to her, she no longer flung her clothes haphazardly about the apartment. Everything was put in its place, as if she'd regressed back to what she called a childhood. But some habits you couldn't break.

He just watched her for a while as she stripped, enjoying the sight of her lean brown body turned almost a soft bronze by the candlelight. Logan absently picked at the neck of his sweater, not quite sure of how to take it off without taking his eyes off Max's almost nude body. Damn, she was beautiful. And she was completely his…completely alive.

Still in the tank top she wore in place of a bra and her less-than-sexy cotton underwear, Max moved towards him. "Need some help?" she asked, grinning. Without waiting for an answer, she quickly pulled his sweater and undershirt over his head as if he were a child. Then, with her usual patience, she began unzipping his khakis with the same efficient speed. Once his clothes had joined his on top of the hamper, Logan maneuvered himself out of the chair and onto the lip of the large bathtub. His eyes still on Max, he fumbled with his boxers. He was surprised at what he found growing in his boxers. Usually it took more than a near-naked Max to arouse any response from his lower half, unless she was in heat. When she was in heat, he could almost feel the rush of her blood in his own veins… According to Krit, that was the way it was with most of his brothers when they were near an X-5 female in heat, even Lex, who'd given himself over to the priesthood almost three years ago.

Boxers and underwear joined the other clothes, and Max moved his body onto the tiled seat in the shower with practiced ease. The heat of the water felt good on his tired muscles. Bling had been extra-hard in their workout, to the point where Logan actually thought he could feel pain in his legs. He still had twinges, every now and then, from the aborted treatment Dr. Vertes had begun. But twinges weren't enough to make his legs work again. And dammit if he didn't miss being able to stand up as he peed.

All that mattered was Max's wet body in the shower next to his, rubbing up against him as she soaped up his back and lathered up his hair with the flowery shampoo that gave Krit fits. Max was playful as she dabbed soap on his nose, and then left Ivory-tasting kisses down his chest. Without his glasses, her slender body was slightly blurred in the light of the candles. Shadows played across her belly until it almost looked as if it had grown a bit. For a moment, Logan let himself imagine what the smooth brown skin of her flat stomach would look like, stretched over a pregnant belly. For a moment, he pictured a child at her breast--a child with the Cale blue eyes and soft brown curls, playing with the locket that still hung in the hollow of Max's throat.

"I love you," he whispered against her lips, as her hands began to soap up places he couldn't exactly feel anymore. His hands left soapy trails over her backside as he drew her body closer to his.

"I love you too." Her dark eyes hovered inches from his own as she straddled his lap, soap falling forgotten to the tiled floor of the shower. She eased herself into position, carefully bracing herself against her forearms on the shower walls. "Through passion, through sorrow and hope," Max whispered against the thunder of water in his ears.

Logan laid the flat of his palm against her left breast, his right arm drawing her closer still to join them together. "Through death and through life." He kissed her, one hand against her beating heart, the other wrapping around her waist to hold her up. She sank down towards him and began to move in a rhythm they both knew well, affirming their life and how far they still were from death.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jondy stared up at the ceiling, trying to ignore the rage of hormones within her. Dammit if it hadn't been four months since the last wave hit. That little bit with Zane at New Years had been purely emotional, it seemed. But this… She groaned, turning over and burying her face in the down pillow. She really didn't need this right now. At all.

That guy Ty was kinda cute though. Brian was sweet, with those puppy-dog brown eyes of his. She'd gone to Crash with Brian twice and to dinner with Ty once. She'd even let Ty fumble and paw at her for all of ten minutes before she decided it was time to go home. He still mumbled the occasional apology in her direction, but it wasn't his fault that she had issues. It wasn't his fault that he was a normal human being, and she only went for transgenic guys.

For a moment, Jondy considered hitting the streets on her baby and just riding this heat out. But she'd heard an abbreviated version of what happened the last time Max did that. They still got free pizza on occasion because if it. If her heat tuned her in to both men and women, her problem would be solved, because Original Cindy had more than once hinted at being willing. But the heat wasn't just an enhanced sexual drive, it was an intensified desire to procreate, and procreate didn't exactly happen with another woman, even for an X-5.

The door opened. Jondy automatically slid off the bed into her ready position, crouching beside the nightstand. She saw a hand flash through the darkness, gesturing for 'all clear.' There were times when Jondy thanked Manticore's foresight to give them night-vision. She let her body relax, sinking back against the bed. "Knock next time, Maxie."

Max shut the door behind her, still wrapped in a thick robe. Her hair was wet, and Jondy picked up a rather obvious scent on her that spoke of what her baby sister'd been doing. It had surprised her at first, how creative Max and Logan got when it came to that. Where there was a will…and Max had always shown enough will for a squadron of X-5s.

But the fact that Jondy knew that there was a virile man just down the hall didn't make matters any better. Especially since Max had so obviously recently enjoyed his company. This was Logan. Logan wasn't some superfly guy. He was her brother. But Zack had been her brother, and Zane…

Jondy groaned again, burying her face under the pillow. She felt the bed dip as Max sat beside her. Pushing back the pillow, she saw a knowing look on her sister's face.

"You sure you don't wanna jet for a few days?" Max's dark eyes were worried as she got up and walked to the dresser. "Normal'd understand. Just tell him you've got what I've got and he'll give you a week." Her head turned towards the wall that faced Logan's bedroom. "Or maybe--"

"Maxie, I can deal. If worse comes to worse, I'll just hunt Ty or Brian down tomorrow." Brian had his own dark beauty, like the guy Kendra had brought home for New Years. He also had an obsession with Heavy Metal bands, but her feline DNA didn't care at the moment. Iron Maiden bedamned. She just wanted him to-- "Max?"

Her sister stood in the corner next to the dresser, one hand in the middle of rummaging in a drawer. Max's robe was partly opened, and she stared down at her body with a shell-shocked look on her face.

Reaching out for the on the nightstand, Jondy quickly lit the lantern she'd taken from the dining room. In the soft light, she could see that Max's face had drained of all color. And as she knelt beside her sister, she could see what had shocked Max so badly.

Max's normally flat belly had rounded slightly--not much, but enough. Enough for Jondy to remember what her own stomach had looked like, early in pregnancy. Enough for Max, who probably hadn't seen too many pregnant bellies, to recognize the bit of bulge in her stomach for what it was.

"Maxie?" Jondy reached out, touching the smooth skin lightly. There wouldn't be movement yet--not for another four or five months. She'd suspected that her baby sister was pregnant, especially since Max's last heat was two months ago, but she hadn't Iknown/I. And knowing…

"It could be fat," Max protested. "We don't know. Don't I have to pee on a stick or something?" Her dark eyes looked panicked.

Setting the lantern down on the dresser, Jondy reached in the drawer and fumbled for the first clothes she came to. Seeing that Max would be of no help, she pulled the undershirt over Max's head, maneuvering her sister to step into the legs of the boxers. Letting the robe fall to the floor, Jondy pulled her sister towards the bed and made her lie down. "We can get you a test, Max. Or we could take you to that doctor friend of Logan's-- Stephen Hawking, or whatever his name is."

"Sebastian," Max corrected automatically. "No, we can't--I can't--" She shook her head, and stood, beginning to pace around the room. "I'm not pregnant. I can't get pregnant. We can't--"

"Shit happens, baby sister." Had she behaved the same way when she found out? Jondy had nearly blocked those memories out of her mind, not wanting to feel that pain again, that hope that maybe this would make Zack stay…two months later, she'd found out that Zack was recaptured, and the baby… The baby would've been a toddler now, almost four years old. Jondy watched her sister, trying not to see herself four years before. "It happened to me."

Max stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face Jondy. "What?" The perplexed look on her face was one Jondy remembered well from Manticore--a look of shock, bewilderment, and what almost looked like betrayal. "You were--" And a look of comprehension. Her dark eyes dropped to the ground. "Zack's."

They could both say the name now at least. That was more than when Max first got out, when she told Jondy whose heart saved her. Jondy'd never hated anyone so much in her life as she hated Max at that moment--her baby sister, arguably the one who'd set Manticore on their trail again.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Max's look of betrayal became one of hurt. "Why didn't you--" She shook her head, lips pressed together. "When--" There were questions in her eyes, so many questions that Max looked like she couldn't decide what to ask first.

Jondy curled up on the bed, wrapping her arms around a pillow. It still wasn't something she liked to think about. It was hard enough to deal with heat without remembering those hazy days in the Sierras. It had been a weekend getaway, just herself and her bike and her baby, but when she'd returned to San Francisco a few days later… That had been her last drunken spree and her last roommate, the one who'd found her on the bathroom floor, bleeding.

Max sat on the edge of the bed, almost as if she was afraid to get too close. This was why she never told her little sister, because of the way it would change things between them. It wasn't until later that Jondy'd realized Max had brought Lydecker down on herself, pestering that private detective to search for anything related to Manticore. A small part of her still blamed Max for everything. It was those searches that drew Zack to Max, since Max never got her barcode removed. Jondy knew how much it bugged him, all those years, of not being able to find Max. Max and Lex had been the hardest. And Jondy had been the first…

"I was the first one he found, when I was thirteen. Zack told you he got out during the Pulse, didn't he?" Max shook her head, and Jondy allowed herself to feel a tiny bit of satisfaction. At least there were some pieces of Zack that she had that Max never would. "After things settled down, he started looking for us, breaking into welfare offices all over Wyoming and checking to see if any of us were listed in their records. He traced us as far as the Pulse at least, made sure we were all okay in our foster homes." Jondy didn't like remembering those first few months after the escape. Wyoming in winter wasn't the easiest place to try to survive, but she knew she couldn't get caught with a barcode on the back of her neck. She didn't learn much about the outside world, but she knew that not everyone was marked like that. And that her barcode would be the easiest way for Manticore to track her down.

Leaning back against the headboard, she could almost see Zack's eyes as he told her, a little each visit, of what had happened since the escape. How Krit and Zane had stayed together for five years until Zack found them, splitting them apart. Zane had gone to LA and found Samantha and her little girl. Krit settled somewhere in Texas.

"I was in San Luis Obispo, an old college town in Central California. There was a bunch of us--Pulse Orphans, they called us, 'cause they all thought our parents were victims of the riots after the Pulse." She could see recognition in her sister's eyes. Max had probably fallen in with the same kind of gang, moving with the same military precision that their squadron had at Manticore. "I think I was Jenny then, or Jamie, or Jessie… But we saw this tattoo parlor, and some of the older kids went in to get inked…" Jondy could still remember the faded sign--Tattoos Done and Removed. It had looked like the kind of joint that would ask no questions. Her thirteen year old self had looked the part of a street kid. For someone raised on two showers a day, the filth of the Post-Pulse world had come as a shock. But she dealt. Filth meant freedom, and it was a small price to pay.

"I had a little cash. My fingers were quick, and I looked young, so no one suspected. The gang kept me around cause of that--and the fact that I could kick their asses." Jondy grinned as Max laughed. "We could've taken 'em by storm, baby sister… Living the high life…" She shook her head. The past was past. "I had money, they didn't ask any questions, and they removed my barcode." It was the pain she remembered most, that intense feeling like someone was burning her cells right down to her very genetic code. But she hadn't cried, even as the laser ate into her skin. Soldiers didn't cry. "I didn't know they kept records. It was four years after the Pulse. Some places were starting to get their systems back online. But they took note of me, because I was so young, and my tattoo was so weird. And I guess Zack had figured it out by then that we might try to get them removed…"

Maybe it wasn't her most brilliant move, but after that, Jondy'd only headed about an hour north, to a little town called Cambria. She'd cut her hair and bleached it blond, becoming just another Pulse Orphan in another town. "I cried so hard when it came back a month later. I was so pissed that I went back to the tattoo parlor and almost killed the woman…" But when she got to that little tattoo parlor, someone else was waiting for her.

"And Zack met you there." Max smiled slightly. "And the first thing he said was 'What the hell do you think you're doing, soldier?'"

Jondy laughed. "Right after he smacked me." And right before he kissed her. That kiss had changed everything in her world. Her big brother had always been her hero, but at that moment, his placed in her life shifted. "I guess Zack wasn't the only one who thought we might get our barcodes removed. Apparently, I was the first to do it at a place that was still wired for cable." Luckily he was in the area, only three hours away in Los Angeles. "He threw me on the back of this old bike he had and we headed to San Fran. He tried to ditch me, but I just stole a bike and followed him."

"The bike before your baby." The composed look on Max's face reminded Jondy of those nights in the barracks when they listened to Ben's stories, her head tipped slightly to the side.

"He ditched me in Portland and said if I ever followed him again, he'd kick my ass for endangering the mission and breaking the objective. Then he gave me a pager number, in case I ever needed him." Jondy chuckled at Max's scowl. She knew her baby sister was still hurt that Zack never told her the contact number. But while Zack was a good planner, he didn't always rationalize everything through. And once he settled on an opinion…

"You were in Portland about the same time I was in Salem." There was a look of regret on Max's face. "You were that close, and I never knew…"

Jondy reached out across the bed, and Max's hand met her halfway. "They taught us well at Manticore. What else can you say?"

Max only nodded. "Then Zack found the others?"

"Krit and Zane got arrested in Boise. That's when he made them split. And Zane had run into Syl on his way to LA." It hadn't happened as neatly as it sounded. Manticore taught Zack all too well about hacking and surveillance. Sometimes it was pure luck that he got to their siblings before the Boys in Black did. That was what life was all about--staying one step ahead. "He'd found all of us by about five years ago. Nothing tipped him off about you until that detective started making inquiries and attracting the wrong kind of attention."

"So it was all my fault." Max drew her legs up, resting her chin on her knees. For a moment, Jondy was tempted to let her little sister think that, but this was Max, and as mad as she ever was at Max…

She scooted across the bed, leaning up against her baby sister. "Manticore's been on all our tails, Maxie. It wasn't just you. It was all of us. We were sloppy. Ask Tawny sometime about how he almost fucked one of Lydecker's operatives six years ago."

Max actually laughed. "So you and Zack…"

"Me and Zack." It was convenience, really. He'd been there, moving her to San Francisco, during her first heat. Her cycles had never been regular, but often as not, his presence seemed to trigger one. It was as if some part of him subconsciously knew… "And the last time, I caught. And when I started going into premature labor, he didn't answer the contact number."

Jondy shook her head, but the memories came anyway. She'd only been four months along. The fetus still looked more like a fish than a baby, but she didn't know if that was just because of her fucked up genetics, or if that was the way nature worked. It was still recognizably human though. Looking back, she could almost see the beginnings of Zack's stubborn chin. "I was getting out of the city for a few days with my baby, and the real baby decided to come…" Her eyes burned. "There was blood…almost as much blood as when Eva died. And it was…"

Her sister's arms tightened around her. "I don't want this baby," Max said. "Case and Max--"

Pressing one finger against Max's lips, Jondy forced her sister to look at her. "Don't make that decision yet, Maxie. Think about it, make sure it's true, and then decide whether or not you're gonna tell Logan before you do anything."

Max nodded. She still looked a little pale, as if it hadn't quite hit her yet. Decisions could be made later, when things looked a little clearer. Without a word, she began pushing down the comforter. Jondy waited until Max found her spot on the mattress and then curled up next to her, just as they'd done almost every night for the past six weeks. She leaned over and blew out the candle within the lantern case. At least her sister knew that Logan loved her more than life. She had a rock on her finger to prove it. And Jondy knew that Logan would stand by Max--if Max ever got around to telling him… But it was good to know, now, that it was true, even as much as it hurt her.

"What would you've named the baby?" Max's voice was soft in the darkness.

"Ender," Jondy said, pulling the covers up to her chin, trying not to imagine a little boy with blond hair and stubborn blue eyes. "Ender if he was a boy."

Max made a noise that sounded like a cross between a sob and a laugh. "And if it was a girl?"

She'd run through every name of her sisters, trying to pick the perfect one. But no little girl should be bogged down with ten middle names. "Max was one choice. But in the end…Hope."

"Hope." Max yawned. "Hope, or Leia, because Logan keeps saying he's some guy named Han…" She groaned. "I'm not supposed to be tired. I don't sleep." But in the dark, Jondy could see her little sister's eyelids beginning to flutter shut.

Sleep wasn't an option tonight. But she could ride this heat out. She'd done it before… Max shifted, so that her head rested on Jondy's chest. Her arm automatically wrapped around Max. In the dark, Jondy studied her free arm, and the thin cuts on the inside of her wrist. To her night vision, the cuts looked pale green. She wondered, sometimes, if it was that blood that bound her to Max, and kept her in a constant orbit around her brothers and sisters. But it wasn't just blood, it was years of memories and feelings and nightmares, all rolled up into one odd connection. They were family, and as much as she wanted to hate them, and to hate Manticore…

She stared up at the ceiling, trying not to imagine what 2024 would bring.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"You've gotten sloppy, X-5452." The voice was cold enough to turn Max's blood to ice. She pulled at her restraints, but this time, they wouldn't give. Renfro's sharp red nail ran itself along her cheek, forcing her to look at the blond bitch. "But you're home now with your family, so everything will be alright."

Max tugged again, twisting her wrists against the steel bands. The last time, she'd been able to yank them out of the wall… Renfro laughed. "There's no escape, X-5452. You got away from us twice. There will be no third chance for you." She felt the soft prick of a needle entering into her skin, and her muscles went lax. As much as she tried, nothing twitched. Maybe this was the same helplessness that Logan felt, that lack of control… Max could feel panic beginning to build up inside her. Renfro wouldn't win. She couldn't…

She felt hands pulling up the bottom of her undershirt, exposing the soft bulge of her belly. "And you brought us a gift," Renfro cooed. "This isn't the child you were supposed to breed, but we will take this one in exchange. Thank you for being so thoughtful, X-5452."

"No!" Max screamed. "You can't take her! You can't take her! Logan? Logan!" In the back of her mind, she heard the echo of another woman screaming the same words as she tried to move her arms, tried to force their dead weight to protect her baby. "No!"

She kicked and fought the arms that surrounded her, her foot connecting with something soft. "Dammit, Max, stop fighting!" It was a woman's voice, but a different, lighter one. A voice she knew. A voice that sounded like--

"Shhh, Max." She knew the second voice. She stopped struggling, and arms cradled her against a male chest. "It's okay, Max." One hand rubbed the back of her neck, pressing lightly on her barcode. "We're here, Max. It's just Logan and Jondy. We're here. We won't let her get you."

Logan. Her arms automatically reached up, wrapping around his neck. She buried her face in his shoulder, comforting herself with his very real smell of clean skin and shampoo. His hand fell from her neck to her back, rubbing it in slow circles to comfort her. His bare shoulder was wet with her tears, but Max knew Logan wouldn't care. He was used to this, these moments of panic where all she could do was cry, chest heaving and everything, just like one of Kendra's romance novel heroines. Soldiers didn't cry, but she wasn't a soldier anymore.

"You okay?" Logan's arms settled her more comfortably on his lap, her legs hanging over one of the wheels of his chair. Max nodded, wiping her face with the hem of her undershirt. "You probably don't wanna sleep, do you?"

This time, Max shook her head.

"There's that chess game we didn't finish last week," Logan offered, wheeling them away from the bed. "You could help me gang up on Jondy and let me win for once."

Max chuckled as she leaned against his chest. This was why she loved Logan. Because he understood, and he knew when not to ask questions. Then, a robe was thrown across her lap.

"So you don't get cold, baby sister. You're all sweaty and everything." Jondy wrinkled her nose. "Not that I don't like sweaty, but just not on you." Then Max realized that her sister was dressed. "Yeah, I'm gonna head out for a few hours. Tell Normal it's one of those days, kay?"

Struggling into the robe, she nodded. "All you have to do is try to paw him a few times. Then he backs off your ass." Max noticed the lights were on again too. It helped, not being in the darkness. She didn't mind the darkness, but there was something that was friendlier about light. "Crash's closed, but you might check out some of the places on the waterfront. Ty's brother works at a bar there--something about Dante's Inferno."

Jondy smiled slightly, her foot beginning to tap. She had all the signs of full-blown heat now, right down to the way she stood, constantly on edge. "I gotta bounce, peeps, otherwise I might try and maul Logan." With a kiss to each of them, Max watched as Jondy headed towards the door.

After they heard the front door shut, Logan began wheeling them out of the room. "Chess or bed?"

Max thought about that for a moment. Part of her wanted to curl up in Logan's arms for the rest of the night and let him stroke her back until she fell asleep again. Logan wasn't blind though. He'd figure out the little addition to her stomach sooner or later. She looked up at his face, the light of the hallway glinting off his glasses. At least he hadn't noticed yet. She knew he wouldn't stay quiet for long if he knew, or even suspected…

"Could we just sit together for a while?" Sitting on the couch would be safe. She didn't feel like trouncing him at chess right now, and the way her mind was frazzled, she didn't feel like letting him win either. Competition was something that would never die, especially not as long as Zack's heart beat in her chest.

Looking up, she saw him smile slightly as he wheeled his chair around, propelling them towards the living room. "I think there's another Red Dwarf rerun on BBC America if you want to watch that. They're up to season eight, so Rimmer's back."

Max couldn't help laughing. There was something about the anal Second Technician that reminded her of Normal. They even almost had the same hairstyle. She slid out of Logan's lap, curling up on the couch. Logan maneuvered his wheelchair so that he could move his body to rest beside her. His arm settled around her shoulders, drawing her close to him. Propping her feet up on the coffee table, Max let herself relax against Logan's body with a sigh.

Logan clicked the tv on with the remote and quickly flipped through the stations. Cable didn't give quite the variety it had apparently offered before the Pulse, but Max was never one for tv. She hadn't even known there were tv programs until after the Escape, and their appeal was still lost on her. But she'd make an exception for Red Dwarf. She felt a little like Lister sometimes, the only human being left in the entire smegging universe…

As the familiar British accents flooded across the screen, Max's eyes began to feel heavy. There was something almost comforting about the mellow voices and a world that was as far removed from Manticore as possible.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Logan looked down about halfway through the episode, not too surprised to find Max asleep. Though he sometimes thought she tolerated his fetish for British comedies for his sake, there was a smile on her face, as if she was subconsciously enjoying Red Dwarf. Putting down the remote, he traced the soft curves of her face with his free hand. Her face hadn't changed much in the past three years. There was a haunted look to her sometimes, but her face seemed more open now, as if her emotions were easier to express. Or, he'd just gotten used to her mercurial moods.

Even in sleep, her face was still tense. She would never say what she dreamed about, but he knew it had to be bad if she woke up screaming. Not that he didn't have the same kind of nightmares sometimes, cradling her body close in his arms, feeling her slip away from him again and again… There were a thousand variations involving Lydecker, Zack carrying her body away from him, a shot and a fierce pain just below his waist as his legs crumpled out from under him. But Max was here now, safe, with him. The slight weight of her body resting against his was all the reassurance he needed to know that everything was right in his world. He could touch her, feel the warmth of her skin against his. That touch meant everything, and comforted him like nothing else could.

Arms tightening about her, he settled her more comfortably against his chest. Logan turned to look out the window at the darkness, wondering what was lurking there, and if he could protect Max from it, and herself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"You need a what?" Original Cindy gave Max a look of disbelief and shook her head. "First Sister Girl here goes and pisses off Ty cuz she done the deed with his brother last night, then you and Logan… Didn't your mama never--" She began to walk again, pushing her bike beside her on the sidewalk.

Jondy shot Max an 'I told you so' look. At least her heat was over. Max just glared back at her sister. "So you don't know where to get one?"

Cindy snorted. "And I'm doin' what to get myself prego? I must know, all those brother-men I sleep with." She shook her head again and began to walk faster. "You got your own problems, boo. Now you gotta fix 'em."

Max stopped in her tracks. Jondy's bike bumped her in the ass when her sister didn't stop fast enough. "Shit." She kicked the side of the building, feeling a little better when she saw the dent she made in the concrete. Maybe it hadn't been the most brilliant idea to ask Original Cindy. Maybe it hadn't been the greatest idea to spend every moment of her heat with Logan. Maybe it hadn't been a good idea to even let herself love Logan in the first place. She sighed. Kendra might know how to find out if she was pregnant though… Someone had to, since she couldn't exactly ask Sebastian, because Sebastian would probably tell Logan, and that would open up another bag of chips she didn't want to deal with.

"Boo--" Cindy's voice lost its harsh edge. "Max, I just don't like the idea of you getting caught, aiight? You're my boo, and you always will be my boo, but it's--Max?"

But her attention was already focused on something else, something gold in the window of a shop down the block. "Be right back," Max called, hopping on her bike and speeding off down the street.

She dodged in and out of foot traffic easily, letting her reflexes take over as she focused on what had caught her eye. When Max got to the shop, she set her bike against the wall and glared at the few people around. They managed to get the idea. Touch her bike, and they would feel the wrath of a transgenic soldier.

A little bell chimed as she pushed open the door to the shop. "Can I help you, Miss?" A voice said from behind the counter.

Max pointed to the gold ring in the window. "I'd like to look at that," she said, turning the full power of her smile on the old man.

The old man smiled back. "Looking for wedding bands?" He pointed to the ring on her finger. She'd almost forgotten she was wearing it, she was so used to its weight. He moved to the case in the window, unlocking it with a key he wore around his wrist. "This one is the finest 24 karat gold, something I traded for quite a few years ago." He held it out to her. "It's the best engraving job I've seen in a very long time."

She took the ring between her fingers, magnifying the engraving. The cross- hatch pattern was actually a series of x's etched into the soft gold metal. There were five different sets that wrapped themselves around the thick band. "If I wanted something engraved on the inside--how much?" It was worth at least 5, easily. She had that money for her new tranny stashed, and the overhaul she wanted to do on her baby. But this…five sets of X's. It was as if someone had made this ring for her.

"When are you getting married?" the jeweler asked. Out of the corner of her eye, Max noticed how hard he studied her. The man was probably worried she'd take off with the ring--which she was tempted to do, but then Logan would ask questions, and it really wasn't worth the hassle.

"We were thinking next Christmas. Logan proposed to me last Christmas. Something about continuity." She shrugged. The thought of a public demonstration still scared the shit out of her, but for Logan… Through passion, through sorrow and hope, through death and through life. There had been enough death and sorrow. It was time to live.

"And you love him?" The old man squinted at her. But that was kind of a duh question. There had never been any question about loving Logan, not after her second time at Manticore. The biggest obstacle had always been what to do about it. How could she not love Logan? As sappy as it was, he'd saved her and given her a soul, just like that fairytale about the little mermaid that always made him cry.

"Yeah," Max answered. That was all she needed to say.

The jeweler was quiet for a while, a thoughtful look on his face. "For you, 400. Times are hard, and everyone needs a break when they can get one." The man smiled.

Four hundred. That wouldn't cut too much into her overhaul money, plus that bonus that Normal still owed her for training Jondy, and if Jondy and Cindy covered her for the rent… "I can put fifty down now, and bring the rest tonight." Max held the ring up to the light again, imagining how it would look on Logan's finger. With her other hand, she fumbled in her pocket for the cash she was going to use for groceries.

"Max?" The shop bell chimed again as Original Cindy and Jondy stepped through the door. Jondy's fingers turned her hand towards the light. "Max, it's beautiful."

"How much cash do you got?" Max laid every scrap of change from her pockets down on the counter. Cindy and Jondy both began emptying their pockets. With a quick count, Max pushed the crumpled heap towards the jeweler. "Will $147.23 do for a down payment?"

The man seemed to look at all three of them for a very long time. "What did you want engraved on the inside?" he finally asked.

Max handed him back the ring, and scribbled the short sentence down on a scrap of paper that was lying on the counter. As she passed it to the jeweler, he nodded with satisfaction. "Forever heart, light, my partner," he read. The old man smiled. "I can have this done this evening, if you'll just write down your name and phone number…" With another scribble to the bottom of the paper, Max slid it back across the counter. The jeweler noted the amount of down-payment on the scrap and rubber-banded it to the wad of bills. He put the ring into a small plastic bag and taped it to the paper. "Tonight after 6, Miss Guevara. Do you need it resized as well?"

Max squinted at the ring inside the plastic bag. "If you could widen it about two millimeters, it should fit Logan's finger." Cindy and Jondy gave her an odd look. "What?"

"You owe us," Jondy said as they walked out of the shop. Three bikes were still propped up against the side of the building. "You owe us big."

"I owe you 60 bucks, big sister. You'll get it back when we get home. You know where I keep my stash." Max straddled her bike again, looking back over her shoulder at her friends. "Besides, if I'm in the family way, I might as well do right by the baby…" Now she just had to decide what she was gonna tell Logan…and what they'd do about their latest complication.

"I dunno, boo. I don't think you got nothin' to worry about." Cindy said as they moved off into traffic again. "There's hope for you and Wheels yet."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Logan looked at the clock, drumming his fingers against the kitchen counter. Just after 6. Max usually called by now if she was going to be late. If she was able to call. If she was--

He grabbed for the phone and quickly dialed her number.

"Yeah?" Cindy's voice answered.

"Hey, Cindy, it's Logan. Is Max home?" He could hear muffled talking from the other end, as if someone was shouting in their apartment. "Cindy?"

"It's blue? Wait, is blue the good one or the bad one? I--Sorry, Logan, Original Cindy and her homegirls are just gonna chill here tonight. Do that girl thang. And since you lack the necessary equipment, you ain't invited, aiight?" Even though it sounded like Cindy had the receiver muffled, he could still hear some commotion going on in the background.

"Are you sure everything's okay?" Max wasn't usually secretive. But if this was a girl thing, then maybe he didn't want to get involved. As experienced as he was in the ways of women, Logan still recognized the fact that he had far to go before he understood them.

"Everything's fine, Logan." Jondy's voice came on the line, as if she'd grabbed the phone from Original Cindy. "Maxie and I are just gonna hang at home tonight. Sister stuff. And unless you really want a manicure, you probably should just watch that Wings marathon on Discovery tonight."

Again, there were the sounds of muffled conversation in the background. "Can I talk to Max?" He was trying to be patient, but there was something big that they weren't telling him…

Again, the phone was passed, but this time, the voice he wanted spoke. "It's cool, Logan. We're just gonna chill here, maybe head down to Crash or something." Max's voice wasn't as calm as it usually was. It seemed almost rushed, like couldn't decide if she was worried, or excited. "I got something for you today." That was more like the Max he knew.

"Is it flowers? I like jewelry too." Logan could hear Max's laughter echo over the phone wires. If she could laugh, then whatever was going on couldn't be that bad.

"Since when do you wear jewelry?" Max asked, continuing the line of the joke. "You'll see what your present is. Maybe tomorrow." Again, he heard a conversation of whispers. "Gotta bounce. The girls are getting restless." Her voice grew soft. "Love you."

"Love you too." He'd never tell her how much those words meant to him, or how many times he kicked himself for not letting her say those words that night at Manticore. She said them a lot--and he said them more--but he still felt the strangest sense of joy whenever he heard them.

And then there was silence on the other end. He was still staring at the phone in his hand when it rang again. "So is blue the good one or the bad one?" Logan asked without prompt.

"Logan?" Except that the voice on the other end wasn't Max's. The voice was that of a very confused male. "It's Bennett. Are you okay?" His cousin's voice sounded worried.

"I'm fine. It's just--" There was no way of explaining it to Bennett, even if Logan did leave out the part about transgenic soldiers and vigilante cyber journalism. "How's Marianne? I haven't heard from a Cale since Christmas. I was beginning to think I'd been disowned."

Bennett laughed. "Mother was tempted, but then she realized she'd have no leverage. Marianne's class is back in session, and apparently they're demons. My brother's back in town, so we were wondering if you'd like to have dinner next week."

"Which brother?" If it was Robert, he could deal. But if it was Jordan… Jordan was entirely too much like Max's brother Tawny for his taste.

"Robert. Jordan's in New Orleans. Said he met up with a guy named Tony, and they're plotting to screw the entire town." Birds of a feather, even enhanced birds, seemed to find each other, no matter what. "Mother won't be there, if that's what you're worried about."

Logan drummed his fingers against the desk again, looking at the recent picture of Jondy and Max that sat next to one of his monitors. "Let me run it by the girls. Jondy took up residence, and Max still hates anyone with the last name Cale." Aunt Margot would be dead if Max heard what his aunt had said. Not that the world wouldn't be a better place because of that.

Bennett was quiet for a moment. "Marianne told me what Mother said, and I apologize profusely for it, Logan. I know she can be difficult sometimes and--"

"It's okay, Bennett. I'll get over it. And so will Max." Logan took the picture in his hand, tracing the lines of Max's body with his finger. The two girls stood with their Jam Pony bikes, grinning at the camera, looking like normal girls making a living. Max's arm hung around Jondy's neck, the ring on her finger sparkling in the rare Seattle sunlight. "I'll talk to the girls and see what they say."

There was a sigh of relief on the other end. "Thanks, Logan. You're a far better man than any other Cale."

After he hung up with Bennett, Logan resisted the urge to hurl the phone against the wall. The last time Max did that, it took him three weeks to replace it. At least some of his articles were starting to pay off. His syndicated column paid for groceries, so he could use what was left of his art collection to fund Eyes Only. That money that he'd invested was making a tidy little profit too. He couldn't fling money around the way he used to, and it had taken him months to save up for Max's ring, but he was comfortable again, and secure--for now.

Families. With a sigh, Logan turned off the Mac and rolled towards the kitchen. It was quiet in the apartment without his girls. He wondered what it would sound like, always filled with Max and her friends. Even children in the two bedrooms down the hall… "You're turning into a sap in your old age, Cale." His voice broke the silence, echoing through the empty apartment. Silence had been all he wanted, growing up. Now, when he had it, all he could think of was filling it. Silence just felt heavy, like those first months after Manticore. He hadn't realized how much Max filled his life til then. "Dinner, Cale. Eat, then brood. And then turn on the tv, so that you stop talking to yourself." And with a chuckle, he wheeled himself towards the fridge, to see if Max and Jondy had left any food.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was 3 am when Max's pager went off. "Maxie, it's for you," Jondy muttered, rolling over and burying her head under the pillow. No matter what she did, or how often she did it, for the first couple days after her heat, she was always completely exhausted. At least Ty's brother Andy had taken the edge off things. Didn't hurt that he was decently looking either. She hadn't meant to call him Zack, though…

The mattress dipped as her sister got up. Even under the pillow, Jondy could hear Max rummaging for her pager. "It's the other one, Jondy."

She sighed, pushing the pillow back from her face. "What other one, Max?" The look on Max's face was worried.

"The Iother/I one." The other one. The pager for the contact number. Without a second thought, Jondy slid out of bed and began rummaging for a pair of pants.

Max fumbled for the phone and dialed a string of numbers. Jondy wasn't surprised to see Zack's commander look wash over her baby sister's face. It was in the genes after all. And in Max's heart. "Well?"

Her sister held the phone out to her and hit the speaker phone button. A male voice came on the line. "Hey, vixen. I jaced my way out of working late tonight in Bellingham, so if you wanna get together, gimme a ring. 555-5656."

"Jace, huh? Our senorita sistah's gonna have some company." Jondy put the phone back on its cradle. "So you gonna call this guy to see if he's legit?"

Max nodded as she dialed a number. "I'll get Logan to check it, in case it's a hot wire or something. Hey, Logan. Code red, white, and green. Yeah, with a little eagle-thing on it. Can you give him a call and tell him to meet at the High Place?." There was a pause. "Yeah, I'll take Jondy." Even in the dark, Jondy could see a scowl on Max's face. "She's got my back. I'll be fine. You can call Syl and Krit if you want. Yeah, you too." Putting down the phone, Max began to rummage in one of her drawers. When she pulled out the black catsuit, Jondy knew her sister meant business. "If Victor called from Bellingham, it won't take him too long to get here."

Jondy sighed. "Viva la Mexico."

"Boo?" Original Cindy's voice came from beyond the curtain. "Y'all up early."

"Family emergency," Max called, picking up the phone again and dialing another number.

The lights flickered on, and Original Cindy walked into the main room, sitting down at the kitchen table with a yawn. Jondy tried not to snicker at the fuzzy white bunny slippers Cindy wore on her feet. "It look like big trouble if you breakin' out the catsuit, boo."

"It's Jace." Max held up a spare black leather vest. "You want it, Jondy?" Her sister looked over her not so professional outfit of faded black cargo pants and a black long-sleeved shirt that she was in the process of pulling over her head. "I've got a spare suit that might fit you if you rolled the legs up."

Jondy rolled her eyes. She was not going into full-out camo gear. That was fine for cat burglars like Max and people who still clung to their soldier roots. Besides, spandex always made her break out into a rash… "I'll take the vest, baby sister."

She watched as Max began to slide into the skin-tight suit. The suit fit fine over the hips and into the shoulders, but Jondy could see the look of panic that washed over her sister's face as Max zipped up over her rounded stomach. The black spandex only emphasized the not-so-obvious. "Shit," her sister whispered, looking down at the small bulge as if it was some alien creation. Or as if the reality of the dealio had finally sunk in.

"Overalls, Maxie. Or maybe those camos that were stashed here after--" Jondy cut herself off, walking over and putting an arm around Max. Big brother and family protector or not, Max was still her little sister. "Black leggings and a shirt are a lot lighter than leather and spandex. It's warm down south."

Max looked down at her stomach again, trying to hide the look of betrayal on her face. "Dammit. If something happens…" Her face hardened. "Lydecker never covered this."

Jondy laughed. "The Colonel forgot to cover a lot of key information. Besides, Max, I think Logan would notice your addition in the catsuit…"

The phone rang, and Max immediately reached for it. "Yeah? He's on his way? Thanks, Logan." Her voice dropped, but Jondy could still overhear her sister's end of the conversation with no problem. "I'll make sure he checks out. Yeah, Jondy's always got my back. Meetcha at the safehouse. Love you." As Max hung up, there was an odd look on her face.

"Max." Jondy and Max both turned at the sound of Original Cindy's voice. In her hands, she cradled a handgun. "I know you girls don't like packin' heat, but still… You got a baby to protect now, and Original Cindy gonna put a smackdown on your ass if you end up dead."

Max looked from the gun to Cindy's face. So little sister hadn't lost her fear of guns. Jondy was glad she wasn't alone. It was bad enough that years of live ordnance drills make her skittish when it came to any loud noises. But after seeing their sister Eva shot inches from their faces the night of the escape, Jondy wondered how any of them could pick up a gun again. Especially Max.

"Boo, please. Just keep it on your bike. Just let me know you have it." Original Cindy's face softened. "Please," she said again.

Olders were supposed to be examples for youngers, Zack had once said when they were still too small for the barracks. Jondy reached out and took the small handgun, sticking it into the side pocket of her cargo pants. It didn't look too obvious, with the way her pants bagged around her legs. "I've got your back, Maxie."

Her little sister nodded, a relieved look on her face. "Ready?"

Jeans and a black shirt later, she and Max were wheeling their motorcycles down the hallway to the elevator. "The High Place?" Jondy jammed her goggles over her eyes.

Max nodded. "The High Place. You'll know Victor when you see him."

As they separated and rode off, Jondy couldn't help feeling like the storm was brewing.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The park underneath the Space Needle was deserted, but Max knew that Victor would come. If it was a set-up, at least she had Jondy for backup. And Logan knew where she was. It felt weird to be in jeans instead of spandex. It felt even more odd to be pulling this kinda stuff without Alec. Not that she minded her sister as a partner instead of an X-5 that still had a tendency to pollute her air. Maybe it was the fact that she felt unprofessional and kind of frumpy. But you took what you could get. And it wasn't the catsuit's fault that she had something growing in her stomach. What kind of a mother brought her unborn child into battle? With a look at Jondy beside her, Max knew the answer to that.

"Why does this feel like something out of Shadowrun?" Jondy's voice was barely even a whisper, but Max had no problem hearing it. Seeing Max's blank look, she shook her head. "Nevmind. So how do you know this guy'll show?"

"Victor got transferred like all the other lab techs after the fire, but he's still military. He's got friends the same way we have friends, and he said he'd give me a head's up if he knew they were after Jace or the rest of us." Victor still didn't know about his son. After Manticore burned, Max didn't want to give too much away. He was careful never to contact Jace, just because he knew the kind of deep shit it could get him in. And Max still saw Tinga's face at night, the way she'd looked before she turned herself over to Lydecker in order to save her son. "If he ever needed me, I told him to meet me at the High Place in Seattle. He should figure it out."

"Could you still get there? To the High Place?" Jondy leaned against her, and Max noticed that one of her sister's hands kept feeling the pocket where the gun was.

"After us, the grunts finally got smart." Max scanned the area again. "Guards patrol the roof every night. We were locked in at Lights Out, even the kids, and our old drainpipe was taken out."

The first time she'd seen what they did to the High Place, it was like her final link to Manticore was broken. The High Place had always belonged to the X-5s, and Manticore desecrated it after the escape. Max almost thought that it was good that Ben was dead, because the destruction of their secret place would've killed him. Prophet Benjamin, born to the wrong time and the wrong place. They all wanted something to believe in, and as twisted as Max now found those childish beliefs, it still hurt to see them destroyed. "I had guard duty up there once before they transferred us all to Washington. It was like Renfro was trying to taunt me or some shit." She shook her head. It had been so tempting, just to step over the edge and fall to oblivion. But that was what the bitch had wanted, to break her. And letting Manticore win just wasn't an option.

"Is that him?" Jondy nodded towards the dark figure that approached them. In the darkness, Max could make out the sharp planes of his face, and the familiar way that his hair hung over his eyes.

"Yeah, that's Victor."

Jondy flashed a quick signal and faded back into the shadows. Max gave a slight nod, and then began to approach Victor. If this was a trap, at least she knew Jondy had her back.

"Waiting long?" Victor gave her a half-grin as he stepped into the puddle of light. He looked the same as he had three years ago--brown hair still falling in his face, hazel eyes peering out at her. He wasn't bad-looking, but compared to her brothers and Logan, Victor Sanchez would never be anything more than average. But Jace had fallen for him in a moment of heat, and neither was sure of the exact nature of the emotion that still bound them to each other.

"Not too long." She went into his open arms, looking for all the world like she was giving him a hug. His body felt clean as he leaned up against her, her hands making a quick sweep over his back and pockets.

"Frisky tonight, huh, baby?" Victor whispered in her ear with a grin.

Max ran one hand over his chest, tracing her way up his neck and across his cheek. "I'm always feelin' ready around you, hot man." She cupped his cheek in her hand, motioning to Jondy with her other behind his back. It was clear. No implants in his ears that she could see, no bugs. It still smelled slightly of set-up, but as far as Victor knew, he was clean. "Come back to my place?"

When Victor smiled, his face brightened until Max could see the man her sister was so attracted to. "I've been waiting to hear those words the entire ride out here, baby."

Max led Victor to her motorcycle and handed him her spare helmet. Jondy still hung back, wheeling her baby towards the opposite end of the park. Her sister flashed a quick sign, signaling that she'd meet them at the safe house. So far, so good…

The ride to the safehouse passed quickly. Max kept to the back streets where she knew Sector Police wouldn't bother her. Yeah, it was past curfew, but it wasn't like she didn't violate it all the time. It was sheer luck that the Sector Police didn't know her by name yet--or sheer genetics that they just never caught up with her.

Victor didn't say a word as they rode through the city. Max couldn't help worrying. Victor wasn't one to pay social calls. He checked in with her once a year or so, just to tell her he was still alive and to hear any news from Jace. She felt bad enough telling him that much--that she knew where Jace was, and that her sister was still alive. Zack would've reamed her a new asshole for giving out that much information to the enemy. She was more careless than her brother, but she couldn't help it. They were family. And she wasn't Zack, as hard as she tried to be.

The safehouse was just an old hotel in what used to be a decent part of town. It wasn't a good place, but it wasn't a bad place. It was just kind of…there, which made it the perfect place to stash anything you didn't want found. Max stowed her motorcycle in the shed behind the three-story building, noticing that another bike was already parked there. Jondy'd cheated again. Either that, or now Logan was telling her big sister all the shortcuts and back-alleys in Seattle.

"Hey, Missy. Your man's upstairs waiting." Mrs. Forsyth waved at Max from behind the desk. "Food's waiting too. Your sister was hungry."

Max couldn't help grinning as she passed the older woman. "Thanks!" It still surprised her, to find people who genuinely cared left in the world. Mrs. Forsyth had been a social worker, Pre-Pulse. Now, she was just another ordinary superhero, trying to make life the way it used to be, one person at a time.

"Friends?" Victor asked, carefully in step with her down the hallway and up the stairs.

"Yeah, you could say that." Max stopped at room 42 and knocked carefully.

"Shave and a haircut--" a voice sang as the door opened. Jondy's blue eyes grinned. "What took ya so long, baby sister?"

"Victor, my fellow inmate Jondy. Jondy, Victor."

Victor nodded as he shut the door behind them. "Don't hate me because I'm Manticore," he quipped with a nervous grin. He nodded towards Logan, who sat on the bed. "You must be the Professor."

For some reason, Logan chuckled. "Just as long as I don't have to be Gilligan. I would like to get off the island eventually…" His eyes met hers and he gave her a smile that was meant for her alone.

Max could feel her insides melt even as her throat began to close up. She had to tell him…he had every right to know about a child that was half his. But Victor and Jace…and if Manticore really was after her family again… Instead of sitting beside Logan, Max flopped down next to Jondy, trying to ignore the hurt look that washed over Logan's face.

"So Manticore's back?" Jondy's light voice broke the silence. Her sister's hand found hers.

Again, Victor gave a slow nod. "We were recalled about a week ago, just a few lab techs and doctors."

"OB-GYNs?" Max shot Logan a curious look, but he focused his attention on Victor. "One of Eyes Only's informants showed me a report that someone sent him."

"They're getting ready to reproduce again. But all the funding dried up after the fire, I'd thought, and all the mistakes hightailed it to freedom." Jondy scowled, her fists clenching. Max rubbed her sister's hand between both of hers, trying to ease the tension. If Manticore was brewing up soldiers again…

"They aren't starting over from scratch. Rumor has it that they don't want to take the time to develop a new X-generation on their own. They're looking for the son of X-5656 and a couple other X-offspring that they've heard about." Victor ran a hand through his hair. "I saw the list of targets, and Jace's number was on it." He turned an accusing look towards Max. "Unless there's something you never told me, I don't know why she should be on that list."

Two other pairs of eyes focused on Max as the room suddenly seemed too small. "You didn't tell him?" Logan's voice was incredulous. They operated on a don't ask, don't tell policy when it came to her family, just because they both agreed it would be safer. But maybe Logan had always assumed that her brother-in-law knew about his son…

Logan fumbled in his pocket for his wallet, something he usually never brought with him to the safehouse. He flipped through the pictures quickly before Max realized what he was going to do. "Logan--" But it was too late.

Victor stared at the picture that Logan held out. "Shit," he muttered, a blank look on his face. "Shit. Shit." He shook his head. "That's why she left. That's why she left the fucking base, because she knew--" With a shaking hand, he gave the picture back to Logan. "I guess I should assume that the kid's mine, huh?" His voice sounded dazed.

"Congratulations," Max said softly. "It's a boy." Sneaking a look at Logan's face, Max noticed an odd swarm of emotions playing in his eyes. The Great Eyes Only seemed torn between sympathy for a man kept in the dark and fear of what this latest development meant for the world. Charlie and Case were still in Canada, so Max wasn't too worried about their safety. Charlie hadn't set foot in the United States in two years. And he still joked about the fact that it was hard to trace anyone with the last name Smith, since most people didn't believe it was his actual name in the first place…

"They know where she is?" Max reached out to touch Victor's hand. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but this was my sister's life at stake--all our lives. And if they get to her before we do…"

"They don't know. They know you helped, since you're still on a wanted poster in the main offices, but they don't know…" Victor trailed off, his eyes on his hands. "Fuck. They didn't tell me…"

"They didn't tell you because they knew you wouldn't do it if you knew your son was involved," Jondy finally said. Victor's eyes met Jondy's in a panic, but Max's sister only smiled slightly. "It's not like we don't know what Manticore's capable of, Victor. They're too stupid to change their tactics, and they taught us everything they know."

Victor turned to look first at Max, and then at Logan. From the panicked look on his face, Max knew that her sister had guessed right.

"Viva la Mexico," Logan said softly. Max looked up and noticed him giving her an odd look. Her arms automatically crossed over her stomach, as if her own flesh could shield their baby from the evils of the world. And the world was about to get a little more evil… Logan gave her a gentle smile. "Guess we call in the cavalry now."