1 TITLE: Breaking the Rules 3
AUTHOR: Kansas J. Miller
PAIRING: CJ/Simon
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Every man she'd ever wanted since taking this job, she couldn't have.
SPOILERS: The Black Vera Wang
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, obviously
***
CJ was unusually quiet on the short ride home, and as she sat taciturn in the back of the black Secret Service escort car, Simon considered what he should be saying to her. He knew that CJ didn't want to go home, but he had expected more of a fight. CJ was a feisty person—that much had been painfully clear to Simon, even before he met her. The Press Secretary was known by reputation and he had known she would be witty, tough and more than a little bit resistant to a male bodyguard hovering over her. 'Independent' was CJ Cregg's middle name. Yet here she was, curled silently into a corner of the backseat, allowing the car to take her home.
"Do you feel all right?" Simon couldn't help but ask, sure that she was either angry or feeling ill. In the rear view mirror, he saw CJ's eyes turn up to meet his. She only nodded with her mouth in a straight forlorn line.
Simon accepted this for the moment, yet unsatisfied with CJ's manner. In another moment, they pulled up to CJ's building, where two agents were stationed. They were in the process of switching duty, as one of three agents was always on guard at the apartment. Simon was specifically accompanying CJ during the day, wherever she went, and leaving the apartment duty to agents with less experience.
As he turned off the engine, Simon expected CJ to make her routine bolt from the car, but she sat motionless, unaware that they were home. Narrowing his brow, Simon got out of the driver seat and opened her passenger door.
"We're home…" he said, curiously widening his eyes as CJ slowly turned her head towards his. She slid out of the car still silent and gathered up her coat and briefcase.
CJ headed slowly for the apartment building, while Simon walked over to the two members of CJ's detail.
"Go ahead and switch duty, but I'm going up with her for a second. Something's going on," he announced quietly hoping his staff would be satisfied with that answer. They nodded and the off-duty agent got into his waiting car. Turning around, Simon jogged to catch up with CJ while the on- duty agent went towards the first floor command center.
"CJ," Simon said, his tone questioning as she cracked back the door of her apartment building, her gait deflated. "CJ, what?"
"Nothing!" CJ spun around, her voice high. She stopped in the middle of the lobby, and Simon thought he saw some sadness in her eyes. "Nothing," she repeated, "I'm just worrying," CJ turned and continued her trip upstairs with a sigh.
Simon followed her to the elevator, knowing full well that as an off- duty agent he shouldn't be concerned with his protectee's personal problems. Strong concern and curiousity urged him towards her, and when he stepped into the elevator, CJ's eyes were downcast.
"I don't want to deal with this. Why does someone want to kill me?" she asked rhetorically, crossing her arms over her chest. "Come to think of it, Secret Agent Man, why DO people want to kill me?" CJ cried, her sarcasm heavy.
Simon pursed his lips, unable to answer. "I do not know," he answered slowly, subconsciously touching his gun, where it hung in the holster. "But I'm not going to let them."
CJ nodded, and waited as the elevator stopped. As the door opened and CJ exited, Simon made a conscious decision to stay in the cabin, bid her goodnight and ride the elevator back down. It was the only proper thing to do; he'd found out why she was upset, had assured CJ that he'd keep her safe, and now it was time for him to go home and sleep.
"You coming?" CJ asked, looking over her shoulder at the attractive federal agent whom she had long since stopped trying to forget. Earlier when Simon had explained to CJ that she couldn't go out, she knew immediately that he couldn't forget her either. That was part of her worries, as it was an impossible situation. Every man she'd ever wanted since taking this job, she couldn't have. CJ bit her lip roughly and tried to remember that the job was her life and her life wasn't her own right now.
But Simon had stepped off of the elevator, silently giving into the fact that he shouldn't be there, and was following her towards the apartment. CJ felt his presence behind her, and as she fumbled for her keys, acknowledged the fact that just because it was wrong didn't mean she wouldn't do it. It wouldn't be the first time.
***
She waited for the water to boil and when it did, CJ carefully poured two brimming cups. Tea for her, hot chocolate for the man on her sofa. Shaking her head, she wondered at the depth of this situation.
He wasn't going to touch her, he wasn't going to move the conversation to a personal level. He was here for moral support. Or so he tried to imagine, but Simon knew that was a long shot. Being in her apartment on off-duty status was just a challenge to his control. Technically Simon knew he was allowed to pursue anyone he wanted when he wasn't working, but if he had to go to work the next day and protect the same woman he was falling for…Ethics came into play, and Simon was growing quickly annoyed with his lack of common sense. Or worse, his lack of ability to listen to that sense.
Their attraction was unspoken, and as CJ pushed the mug slowly over the coffee table, Simon met her eyes and smiled. She had taken the seat directly across from him, as if to say that she understood how easily they could get into trouble.
"Is this Hogan?" Simon asked, breaking the silence as he picked up a picture frame from the end table and showed it to CJ. She smiled reminiscently and nodded.
"She was five months old. God, look how young I was."
Simon watched CJ's eyes as she studied the photograph, and looking back at it he too smiled. "I think you look exactly the same today."
CJ pressed her lips together and looked down, silently holding the compliment. She sipped her tea, he his hot chocolate. Another few moments passed by, their lack of conversation more comfortable than not, and when Simon leaned his elbows on his knees, CJ immediately picked her head up.
"Do you know what's going on here?" he asked, not ready to say the words aloud, but knowing that CJ would take his meaning.
She shook her head, her eyes sweeter than Simon had ever seen them. "I know that it really shouldn't be going on…" CJ smiled.
"Yeah," Simon breathed out slowly, his pulse racing though he willed it to slow. This was the most unprofessional thing he'd ever done. But CJ was so beautiful, so enticing, and though she wasn't provoking a thing, all Simon could think of was kissing her lips. Standing up was the agent's only defense against himself, and before CJ could stand herself, Simon had crossed the room.
"You understand why I have to leave right now?" He sighed unhappily, fumbling with his overcoat and praying that he could still exit gracefully. CJ stood and nodded, her eyes glistening as she hugged her arms to her chest. She looked upset with herself, instantly guilting the already- troubled agent.
"It's not that I want to leave, CJ," Simon continued, attempting to save the situation. It was one way or another and he instantly felt like a failure. CJ forced a smile and shook her head.
"Go," she urged as processed, fake laughter flowed unnaturally from her mouth.
Simon looked down. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have…"
"Go," CJ said again softly, her expression saying the opposite. She was insanely angry with herself for admitting—wordlessly—that she wanted this man to stay, this man that she couldn't really have. She wanted him too badly, and it was more than clear that he wanted her too. But not tonight, not now. And as he exited the apartment, CJ was left alone with only the click of the closing door. *
AUTHOR: Kansas J. Miller
PAIRING: CJ/Simon
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Every man she'd ever wanted since taking this job, she couldn't have.
SPOILERS: The Black Vera Wang
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, obviously
***
CJ was unusually quiet on the short ride home, and as she sat taciturn in the back of the black Secret Service escort car, Simon considered what he should be saying to her. He knew that CJ didn't want to go home, but he had expected more of a fight. CJ was a feisty person—that much had been painfully clear to Simon, even before he met her. The Press Secretary was known by reputation and he had known she would be witty, tough and more than a little bit resistant to a male bodyguard hovering over her. 'Independent' was CJ Cregg's middle name. Yet here she was, curled silently into a corner of the backseat, allowing the car to take her home.
"Do you feel all right?" Simon couldn't help but ask, sure that she was either angry or feeling ill. In the rear view mirror, he saw CJ's eyes turn up to meet his. She only nodded with her mouth in a straight forlorn line.
Simon accepted this for the moment, yet unsatisfied with CJ's manner. In another moment, they pulled up to CJ's building, where two agents were stationed. They were in the process of switching duty, as one of three agents was always on guard at the apartment. Simon was specifically accompanying CJ during the day, wherever she went, and leaving the apartment duty to agents with less experience.
As he turned off the engine, Simon expected CJ to make her routine bolt from the car, but she sat motionless, unaware that they were home. Narrowing his brow, Simon got out of the driver seat and opened her passenger door.
"We're home…" he said, curiously widening his eyes as CJ slowly turned her head towards his. She slid out of the car still silent and gathered up her coat and briefcase.
CJ headed slowly for the apartment building, while Simon walked over to the two members of CJ's detail.
"Go ahead and switch duty, but I'm going up with her for a second. Something's going on," he announced quietly hoping his staff would be satisfied with that answer. They nodded and the off-duty agent got into his waiting car. Turning around, Simon jogged to catch up with CJ while the on- duty agent went towards the first floor command center.
"CJ," Simon said, his tone questioning as she cracked back the door of her apartment building, her gait deflated. "CJ, what?"
"Nothing!" CJ spun around, her voice high. She stopped in the middle of the lobby, and Simon thought he saw some sadness in her eyes. "Nothing," she repeated, "I'm just worrying," CJ turned and continued her trip upstairs with a sigh.
Simon followed her to the elevator, knowing full well that as an off- duty agent he shouldn't be concerned with his protectee's personal problems. Strong concern and curiousity urged him towards her, and when he stepped into the elevator, CJ's eyes were downcast.
"I don't want to deal with this. Why does someone want to kill me?" she asked rhetorically, crossing her arms over her chest. "Come to think of it, Secret Agent Man, why DO people want to kill me?" CJ cried, her sarcasm heavy.
Simon pursed his lips, unable to answer. "I do not know," he answered slowly, subconsciously touching his gun, where it hung in the holster. "But I'm not going to let them."
CJ nodded, and waited as the elevator stopped. As the door opened and CJ exited, Simon made a conscious decision to stay in the cabin, bid her goodnight and ride the elevator back down. It was the only proper thing to do; he'd found out why she was upset, had assured CJ that he'd keep her safe, and now it was time for him to go home and sleep.
"You coming?" CJ asked, looking over her shoulder at the attractive federal agent whom she had long since stopped trying to forget. Earlier when Simon had explained to CJ that she couldn't go out, she knew immediately that he couldn't forget her either. That was part of her worries, as it was an impossible situation. Every man she'd ever wanted since taking this job, she couldn't have. CJ bit her lip roughly and tried to remember that the job was her life and her life wasn't her own right now.
But Simon had stepped off of the elevator, silently giving into the fact that he shouldn't be there, and was following her towards the apartment. CJ felt his presence behind her, and as she fumbled for her keys, acknowledged the fact that just because it was wrong didn't mean she wouldn't do it. It wouldn't be the first time.
***
She waited for the water to boil and when it did, CJ carefully poured two brimming cups. Tea for her, hot chocolate for the man on her sofa. Shaking her head, she wondered at the depth of this situation.
He wasn't going to touch her, he wasn't going to move the conversation to a personal level. He was here for moral support. Or so he tried to imagine, but Simon knew that was a long shot. Being in her apartment on off-duty status was just a challenge to his control. Technically Simon knew he was allowed to pursue anyone he wanted when he wasn't working, but if he had to go to work the next day and protect the same woman he was falling for…Ethics came into play, and Simon was growing quickly annoyed with his lack of common sense. Or worse, his lack of ability to listen to that sense.
Their attraction was unspoken, and as CJ pushed the mug slowly over the coffee table, Simon met her eyes and smiled. She had taken the seat directly across from him, as if to say that she understood how easily they could get into trouble.
"Is this Hogan?" Simon asked, breaking the silence as he picked up a picture frame from the end table and showed it to CJ. She smiled reminiscently and nodded.
"She was five months old. God, look how young I was."
Simon watched CJ's eyes as she studied the photograph, and looking back at it he too smiled. "I think you look exactly the same today."
CJ pressed her lips together and looked down, silently holding the compliment. She sipped her tea, he his hot chocolate. Another few moments passed by, their lack of conversation more comfortable than not, and when Simon leaned his elbows on his knees, CJ immediately picked her head up.
"Do you know what's going on here?" he asked, not ready to say the words aloud, but knowing that CJ would take his meaning.
She shook her head, her eyes sweeter than Simon had ever seen them. "I know that it really shouldn't be going on…" CJ smiled.
"Yeah," Simon breathed out slowly, his pulse racing though he willed it to slow. This was the most unprofessional thing he'd ever done. But CJ was so beautiful, so enticing, and though she wasn't provoking a thing, all Simon could think of was kissing her lips. Standing up was the agent's only defense against himself, and before CJ could stand herself, Simon had crossed the room.
"You understand why I have to leave right now?" He sighed unhappily, fumbling with his overcoat and praying that he could still exit gracefully. CJ stood and nodded, her eyes glistening as she hugged her arms to her chest. She looked upset with herself, instantly guilting the already- troubled agent.
"It's not that I want to leave, CJ," Simon continued, attempting to save the situation. It was one way or another and he instantly felt like a failure. CJ forced a smile and shook her head.
"Go," she urged as processed, fake laughter flowed unnaturally from her mouth.
Simon looked down. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have…"
"Go," CJ said again softly, her expression saying the opposite. She was insanely angry with herself for admitting—wordlessly—that she wanted this man to stay, this man that she couldn't really have. She wanted him too badly, and it was more than clear that he wanted her too. But not tonight, not now. And as he exited the apartment, CJ was left alone with only the click of the closing door. *