=====================================================
A/N: Relatively short, but monsterously poignant. :)
=====================================================
CHAPTER 10 - Reality Checks In
A chilly wind blew by, and I began to shiver. I looked behind me and discovered that the wind was only Sonic. I couldn't bear to look at him, and turned my attention to the grass. My heart hurt, more than it ever had been before. I felt sick to my stomach. I picked at a few blades of grass and tore them apart - letting the shards fall into a pile.
He approached me and I could see his red and white-striped sneakers standing next to me. I carefully stood up and began to walk away again.
"Wait," he called.
I stopped in my tracks, "Just leave me alone," I cried. I sat down on the ground and buried my face in my hands, "Don't bother with me. I'm just a dork!"
"You're not a dork," Sonic carefully sat down beside me and put his arm around my shoulder.
I pushed it away, "I don't want you to be nice to me just because I'm upset!"
"That's just it! You don't need to be upset!" He threw his arms up in the air in frustration.
"I'm sorry... it's just that I-" I wiped away more tears with my hands.
"Look, you don't need to apologize," he started. He took a deep breath, "I should be the one to apologize... I shouldn't have accused you of being-"
I scooted away, "I probably deserved it..."
"No! Oh! Will you quit beating yourself up?!" He took hold of my shoulders and turned me towards himself, "There's nothing for you to be sorry about!"
Yes there was. I wiped my tears away. I couldn't keep these feelings in any longer. "Sonic, it's not that... It's... I..." I looked straight into his eyes, and practically shouted, "I've always had a big crush on you, okay?! I still do!" I pulled myself away from him and cried. Why didn't I just get a loudspeaker and announce that to all of Mobius?
Sonic became eerily silent for a moment. He looked at me again, "You do?"
I nodded.
He nervously tapped his foot, trying to decide on the right words to say, "Well gee... I can't say that I feel the same..."
"Yeah, I know..." I knew he didn't. He didn't even have to tell me - though I was somewhat glad he did. I guess I needed to hear him say it.
"But... I mean, even if I did... Well... Things could never work out between us. You're from a whole other dimension...where I'm just," he chuckled, "a cartoon character."
"I know - it was stupid and silly!" I sniffled and wiped more tears away, "I knew that all along - even when I first started liking you.... I mean, I'm sorry, but I just had to-"
"No, I'm sorry... Had I known I wouldn't have been so -"
"You can't help being who you are!" I said, trying to keep what dignity I had left.
"But that didn't give me the right to yell at you - especially after you helped bust up Robotnik's machine and saved Tails. I should have trusted you."
"It's more than just you, though. Sonic, I... It's just that I feel... like such a failure... I'm 18 and I haven't even been on a date yet, or..." I began to mumble.
He smiled, "Ha! That's what this is all about?" He chuckled some more.
I couldn't see anything funny about this.
"Joanie, you're way past cool! You're really smart and funny too - and you've got great taste!" he winked.
I couldn't help but laugh a little. He always did have a way of cheering people up - that was one of the things I admired about him.
He took hold of my hand, "I know there is a special guy out there looking all over for you... You just have to be patient."
"Patient? Now there's the pot calling the kettle black!" I laughed.
"Hey!" Sonic scowled.
"It's true!" I smiled and pointed, "Don't deny it!"
"Yeah... I suppose you're right," he rolled his eyes and scratched his head.
I took a breath, "Sonic, I'm sorry for getting so upset... I guess it's just these crazy teenage hormones going out of whack..."
"Don't worry - I feel your pain on that one," he replied solemnly with a smile.
I sighed and looked up at the starry sky again.
"But even though all this - that doesn't mean that we can't be friends," Sonic started.
Ah - the line every girl hates to hear, but knows is inevitable when it comes to having a major crush. The time had come for me to accept this and move on with my life. I knew that now. I couldn't fool myself any longer. Sonic didn't like me in that way - he told me himself. That was something I couldn't argue with.
Sonic is not the right guy for me, I told myself, and repeated it twice for good measure. I straightened up, took a breath and held out my hand, "Then... I want to be your friend."
"You already are... one of the best," Sonic took hold of my hand and we shook, one last tear trickling down my cheek. Feelings of joy swept over me. He called me his friend!
Sonic smiled, "You need a hug?"
I nodded and he gave me a hearty one. I returned it, being careful of his springy quills. As I did, all the guilt and bad feelings that I had been carrying around for a long time deep inside me instantly began to drift silently away into the darkness of the night. I looked into his eyes. Why hadn't I done this long before? I felt so free and wonderful.
"Thanks, I needed that," I said.
"Anything for a pal," he replied.
A short silence broke our conversation, before I changed the topic.
"What about Tails?" I asked, "Did he come with you?"
"He's back at the camp, cleaning up dinner.... Are you ready to go back?"
"Sure," I replied as we walked towards the camp.
Words cannot describe how completely serene I was. I thanked God for the courage to express my feelings and move on with my life. Sonic was right. I do have a guy waiting for me, and God will make sure that I meet him at the right time. In the meantime, however, I felt confident having my all-time favorite hero as my newest friend.
* * * *
When we arrived back at the camp, we were shocked to see that the fire had been reduced to red hot embers. We looked around but didn't see Tails anywhere.
"Tails?" Sonic called, "Tails!" He swiftly darted about the campsite, looking for signs of his friend.
I walked towards the now-spotless black pot hanging on the spit over the campfire. I saw a folded up piece of paper attached to the side. I didn't have to open it to know it was bad news, "Sonic!"
In a flash, he was standing next to me. I handed him the paper - the worried look on my face caused him to quickly unfold the paper. He sped-read through it.
"Robotnik, right?" I asked.
He crumpled up the paper and angrily threw it on top of the last glowing orange ashes. It began to burn a little. He crossed his arms and sighed heavily, "Yeah, it's from Buttnik all right," he looked at me - a sad, but heroic look on his face, "He wants me to trade you for Tails."
"I thought as much... What should we do?"
He tilted his head back and gazed at the sky, "I don't know."
TO BE CONTINUED...
=====================================================================
DEDICATION:
This chapter is dedicated to all the toon fans out there who've ever had a crush on a character. Everybody has a fantasy about something some time in their life. But there's a time to accept the true reality and move on. I had to learn that the hard way. Just remember, there are already too many "Sonnets"* in the world - don't let yourself become one of them. ;D
*Character from "Mystery of the Missing High-Tops" episode (AoStH)
=====================================================================
A/N: Relatively short, but monsterously poignant. :)
=====================================================
CHAPTER 10 - Reality Checks In
A chilly wind blew by, and I began to shiver. I looked behind me and discovered that the wind was only Sonic. I couldn't bear to look at him, and turned my attention to the grass. My heart hurt, more than it ever had been before. I felt sick to my stomach. I picked at a few blades of grass and tore them apart - letting the shards fall into a pile.
He approached me and I could see his red and white-striped sneakers standing next to me. I carefully stood up and began to walk away again.
"Wait," he called.
I stopped in my tracks, "Just leave me alone," I cried. I sat down on the ground and buried my face in my hands, "Don't bother with me. I'm just a dork!"
"You're not a dork," Sonic carefully sat down beside me and put his arm around my shoulder.
I pushed it away, "I don't want you to be nice to me just because I'm upset!"
"That's just it! You don't need to be upset!" He threw his arms up in the air in frustration.
"I'm sorry... it's just that I-" I wiped away more tears with my hands.
"Look, you don't need to apologize," he started. He took a deep breath, "I should be the one to apologize... I shouldn't have accused you of being-"
I scooted away, "I probably deserved it..."
"No! Oh! Will you quit beating yourself up?!" He took hold of my shoulders and turned me towards himself, "There's nothing for you to be sorry about!"
Yes there was. I wiped my tears away. I couldn't keep these feelings in any longer. "Sonic, it's not that... It's... I..." I looked straight into his eyes, and practically shouted, "I've always had a big crush on you, okay?! I still do!" I pulled myself away from him and cried. Why didn't I just get a loudspeaker and announce that to all of Mobius?
Sonic became eerily silent for a moment. He looked at me again, "You do?"
I nodded.
He nervously tapped his foot, trying to decide on the right words to say, "Well gee... I can't say that I feel the same..."
"Yeah, I know..." I knew he didn't. He didn't even have to tell me - though I was somewhat glad he did. I guess I needed to hear him say it.
"But... I mean, even if I did... Well... Things could never work out between us. You're from a whole other dimension...where I'm just," he chuckled, "a cartoon character."
"I know - it was stupid and silly!" I sniffled and wiped more tears away, "I knew that all along - even when I first started liking you.... I mean, I'm sorry, but I just had to-"
"No, I'm sorry... Had I known I wouldn't have been so -"
"You can't help being who you are!" I said, trying to keep what dignity I had left.
"But that didn't give me the right to yell at you - especially after you helped bust up Robotnik's machine and saved Tails. I should have trusted you."
"It's more than just you, though. Sonic, I... It's just that I feel... like such a failure... I'm 18 and I haven't even been on a date yet, or..." I began to mumble.
He smiled, "Ha! That's what this is all about?" He chuckled some more.
I couldn't see anything funny about this.
"Joanie, you're way past cool! You're really smart and funny too - and you've got great taste!" he winked.
I couldn't help but laugh a little. He always did have a way of cheering people up - that was one of the things I admired about him.
He took hold of my hand, "I know there is a special guy out there looking all over for you... You just have to be patient."
"Patient? Now there's the pot calling the kettle black!" I laughed.
"Hey!" Sonic scowled.
"It's true!" I smiled and pointed, "Don't deny it!"
"Yeah... I suppose you're right," he rolled his eyes and scratched his head.
I took a breath, "Sonic, I'm sorry for getting so upset... I guess it's just these crazy teenage hormones going out of whack..."
"Don't worry - I feel your pain on that one," he replied solemnly with a smile.
I sighed and looked up at the starry sky again.
"But even though all this - that doesn't mean that we can't be friends," Sonic started.
Ah - the line every girl hates to hear, but knows is inevitable when it comes to having a major crush. The time had come for me to accept this and move on with my life. I knew that now. I couldn't fool myself any longer. Sonic didn't like me in that way - he told me himself. That was something I couldn't argue with.
Sonic is not the right guy for me, I told myself, and repeated it twice for good measure. I straightened up, took a breath and held out my hand, "Then... I want to be your friend."
"You already are... one of the best," Sonic took hold of my hand and we shook, one last tear trickling down my cheek. Feelings of joy swept over me. He called me his friend!
Sonic smiled, "You need a hug?"
I nodded and he gave me a hearty one. I returned it, being careful of his springy quills. As I did, all the guilt and bad feelings that I had been carrying around for a long time deep inside me instantly began to drift silently away into the darkness of the night. I looked into his eyes. Why hadn't I done this long before? I felt so free and wonderful.
"Thanks, I needed that," I said.
"Anything for a pal," he replied.
A short silence broke our conversation, before I changed the topic.
"What about Tails?" I asked, "Did he come with you?"
"He's back at the camp, cleaning up dinner.... Are you ready to go back?"
"Sure," I replied as we walked towards the camp.
Words cannot describe how completely serene I was. I thanked God for the courage to express my feelings and move on with my life. Sonic was right. I do have a guy waiting for me, and God will make sure that I meet him at the right time. In the meantime, however, I felt confident having my all-time favorite hero as my newest friend.
* * * *
When we arrived back at the camp, we were shocked to see that the fire had been reduced to red hot embers. We looked around but didn't see Tails anywhere.
"Tails?" Sonic called, "Tails!" He swiftly darted about the campsite, looking for signs of his friend.
I walked towards the now-spotless black pot hanging on the spit over the campfire. I saw a folded up piece of paper attached to the side. I didn't have to open it to know it was bad news, "Sonic!"
In a flash, he was standing next to me. I handed him the paper - the worried look on my face caused him to quickly unfold the paper. He sped-read through it.
"Robotnik, right?" I asked.
He crumpled up the paper and angrily threw it on top of the last glowing orange ashes. It began to burn a little. He crossed his arms and sighed heavily, "Yeah, it's from Buttnik all right," he looked at me - a sad, but heroic look on his face, "He wants me to trade you for Tails."
"I thought as much... What should we do?"
He tilted his head back and gazed at the sky, "I don't know."
TO BE CONTINUED...
=====================================================================
DEDICATION:
This chapter is dedicated to all the toon fans out there who've ever had a crush on a character. Everybody has a fantasy about something some time in their life. But there's a time to accept the true reality and move on. I had to learn that the hard way. Just remember, there are already too many "Sonnets"* in the world - don't let yourself become one of them. ;D
*Character from "Mystery of the Missing High-Tops" episode (AoStH)
=====================================================================