Chapter 3: Round 1, Week 2
Author's Note: Backfire belongs to me. Hipolitus and Moloch belong to Albedo.
Iaconian Super Bowl Commentary Box…
As the lights come on a red and green female Autobot is sitting at the commentary desk. She smiles warmly at the camera.
Backfire: Welcome back fight fans to the second batch of matches from the first round of the King of Iron Fist tournament! KOD and Starbug can't be here tonight for…uh, 'personal reasons' so I'll be hosting…
Backfire is cut off by a transwarp portal which spits out two very odd looking Transformers. They look around in glee.
Moloch: WOO HOO! We're here!
Hipolitus: Meh, it's alright.
Moloch: ALRIGHT?!? Are you daft man?!? It's AWESOME!
Backfire: Excuse me, do you have tickets?
Moloch: We sure do!
Moloch hands the tickets to Backfire who scans them. Once she's sure of their authenticity she waves them through.
Backfire: Ok, go to your seats.
Moloch: YAHOO!
They make to leave.
Backfire (to Hipolitus): Hold up fridge dude.
Hipolitus complies out of curiosity. Before he can react Backfire opens his chest door and retrieves a can of Pepsi flavored energon.
Backfire: Off ya go then.
Grumbling to himself Hipolitus runs off after Moloch.
Backfire: Before we begin, let's have a look at the Transformers who have already qualified for Round 2.
*****
Qualifiers for Round 2Optimus Prime
Blitzwing
Soundwave
Ratchet
*****
Backfire: So then, who will join these four combatants Round 2? Let's take you now to tournament referee Emirate Xaaron to find out! (starts to guzzle happily on the can of Pepsigon) Ah, the nectar of the gods…
Match 5: Inferno (Autobot) vs. Waspinator
Xaaron: In the red corner: INFERNO!
Inferno drives out to the center circle in his fire truck mode, ignoring the cries of 'What the hell? Where's that brilliant insane fire ant?!?'
Xaaron: And in the blue corner: WASPINATOR!
As Waspinator flies to the center circle in his beast mode the entire stadium erupts in a huge explosion of cheers and handclapping. Transforming into his robot mode he looks a little bemused by the applause.
Xaaron: BEGIN!
Waspinator (sees Inferno): Hang on! Wazzzzzzpinator thought he wazzz facing ant bot! Instead Wazzzzpinator fighting fire truck bot! Now whole strategy thrown out the window! WHAT WAZZZPINATOR GONNA DO?!?
Inferno: I'll tell ya what Waspinator's gonna do! Waspinator's gonna DIE!
Inferno aims his water cannon arm at Waspinator.
Inferno: DOUUUUSSSE!
Waspinator: ?
Inferno: Douse, get it? Like BUUUURRRRRN, only much, much better!
Waspinator: Actually…
Inferno: LIKE BUUUUURRRRN ONLY MUCH, MUCH BETTER!
Inferno shoots a jet of water at Waspinator, causing him to both drop his Pop Gun and send him flying into the far wall. Acting quickly the Predacon beast moded and took to the sky, dodging water jets as he went.
Waspinator: Darn! If only Wazzzzpinator had some sort of secret weapon that wazzz excluzzzzive to this mode…
Almost as if on cue a long titanium stinger pops out of the tip of his stripy tail.
Waspinator: …Boy what're the odds of that, huh?
Waspinator continued to dodge the streams of water blasted up at him until he had a clear shot at the crazed Autobot. Taking his chance, Waspinator dived with all the force he could muster and managed to impale Inferno with the stinger for a fatal blow. The Autobot's eyes opened wide with shock.
Inferno: Aw man…this bites.
Waspinator pulled his stinger out and transformed into his robot mode, giving the crowd a double 'V for Victory' sign.
Waspinator: YEAH! WAZZZZZPINATOR RULEZZZZ!
It was then that a piece of heavy metal dislodged from the first set of fights came loose and squashed the celebrating Predacon.
Waspinator: …Ouch.
After making sure that Waspinator was alive and Inferno was indeed dead Xaaron raised Waspinator's arm, the only part of him that wasn't buried.
Xaaron: The winner: WASPINATOR!
Match 6: Devastator vs. Cheetor
Xaaron: In the red corner: DEVASTATOR!
The Constructicons (Hook, Bonecrusher, Scrapper, Mixmaster, Scavenger and Long Haul) walk out of the red gateway discussing a matter of grave importance.
Hook: So it's agreed then, we camp outside of Joss Whedon's house until he agrees to bring Tara back into Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
The Constructicons nod in agreement.
Xaaron: And in the blue corner: CHEETOR!
Cheetor comes flying into the arena in his Transmetal 1 guise.
Xaaron: BEGIN!
Cheetor: Hang on a sec! It's six against one! That's not fair!
Long Haul: Aw, we're sorry Maximal. Allow us to make it more even…
The Constructicons get into position.
Scrapper: Constructicons, UNITE!
The Constructicons leap into the leap and merge into the super robot Devastator.
Devastator: BWAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Cheetor: Ha! So what if you're about five times my height, strength and possibly my intellect. I'll tell ya something ya don't have buddy! HEART! And It's my heart that's gonna…
Devastator grabs Cheetor in mid-ramble and crushes him into a ball before ripping a dislocated girder from the wall. He tosses the Cheetor ball into the air.
Devastator: Batter up!
Devastator whacks the Cheetor ball with girder and sends hurtling into Deep Space where he was vaporized by a nearby star.
Xaaron: The winner: DEVASTATOR!
Match 7: Grimlock vs. Megatron (Predacon)
Xaaron: In the red corner: GRIMLOCK!
The Dinobot commander and Autobot second in command strode into the arena as a T-Rex before transforming into robot mode, energo sword drawn.
Xaaron: And in the blue corner: MEGATRON!
The Predacon commander majestically flew into the arena with all the grace you would expect from a flying T-Rex before he also transformed into robot mode and brandished his arm mounted Tail Laser.
Xaaron: BEGIN!
Megatron (seeing Grimlock): Just a minute, you're colored differently than your pictures, yesssss.
Grimlock: HA! You expected to be battling the cartoon Grimlock eh? Well I'm from the comic book continuum, making me about fifty times smarter than that twit!
Megatron: How annoyingly different, yesssss…
Megatron is cut off mid-'sssss' by Grimlock's fist colliding with his face. Recovering quickly Megatron picked the Dinobot up and hurled him into the well-abused wall. Grimlock was prevented from moving by the flurry of energy bolts which sizzled into his circuitry, courtesy of Megatron's Tail Laser.
Grimlock: S-slag!
Slag (from the crowd and eating an energon lolly): Yeah boss?
Grimlock: What? No, I meant the expletive slag.
Slag: Oh sorry.
Grimlock turned from this discussion to see Megatron's jaws clamp down on his head. Activating his jets the beast moded Predacon flew high into the evening sky before dropping Grimlock and watching him make a large crater upon hitting the ground. Satisfied, he landed and transformed into his robot mode.
Megatron: I believe this makes me the…
Grimlock: NOT SO FAST!
With a gasp Megatron turns to the crater where a shining Grimlock hauls himself out. A second later the shine reaches it apex of brilliance before Grimlock's skin breaks off, revealing his new, sleeker, more powerful body. He is now an Action Master.
Megatron: I-it can't be!
Grimlock: It can. It is. GRIMLOCK IS BACK!
Megatron: When did you ever leave?
Grimlock: Do I ever step on your dramatic moments?
With that Grimlock went into a flurry of attacks, almost ripping Megatron to pieces.
Megatron (almost dead): I hoped to save this for future rounds, but I see I have no choice but to activate my ultimate power now, yesssss.
Megatron activates a program in his head, which immediately reformats his body into his Transmetal 2 form. Smiling he quickly transformed into his dragon mode which towered over Grimlock.
Grimlock: Do you honestly think that –
Megatron opens his mouth and shoots forward a wall of super heated flame which instantly melts Grimlock into a molten pool of metal.
Slag/Swoop/Sludge (from the crowd): BOSS!
Megatron transforms into his robot mode and raises his arms in triumph.
Xaaron: The winner: MEGATRON!
On his way out of the arena Megatron takes the time to step in the pool that was once Grimlock and savor the wild lamentations of the three Dinobots.
Megatron: Not with a bang, but a whimper…
Match 8: Goldbug vs. Bludgeon
Xaaron: In the red corner: GOLDBUG!
At this a potted plant hobbles to the center circle, much to Xaaron's confusion.
Xaaron: Um…
Goldbug (whipping off his potted plant disguise): HA HA! It is I, Autobot Director of Espionage and Master of Disguise Goldbug!
Xaaron: Er…yes, well done…And in the blue corner: BLUDGEON!
Bludgeon floats to the center circle in a mediation pose.
Bludgeon (chanting): Homina homnia homnia homina…
Xaaron: (muttering) Freaks…(louder) BEGIN!
Bludgeon: Now Autobot, prepare to face the Master of Me-Bludgeon trails off as he sees that Goldbug is now disguised as a telephone. The phone starts to ring. Not knowing what else to do Bludgeon picks up the receiver and holds it up to his ear.
Bludgeon: Um…hello?
Goldbug: Hey Bludgeon! I've got a special delivery for ya!
Bludgeon: Oh boy a special delivery! What is it?
Goldbug: THIS!
Goldbug's leg shoots out of the telephone and delivers an almighty kick to Bludgeon's happy sacks. He takes off the disguise and starts to pummel the Pretender who has now assumed the traditional fetal position. So engrossed is the Throttlebot in his endeavors that he fails to notice Bludgeon's shell crack open slightly and Bludgeon slip out the back. Wincing from the beating his shell was taking the Master of Metalikato transformed into his tank mode and aimed his cannon at Goldbug's head.
Bludgeon: Hey Goldbug! I've got a new disguise for ya!
Goldbug was filled with an awe-inspiring sense of terror as he looked up and down the barrel of a pissed off tank. Or at least he was until said tank blew his head into tiny pieces.
Bludgeon (transforming): A corpse.
Xaaron: The winner: BLUDGEON!
*****
Backfire: Well, that was an exciting round of matches eh? Tune in next week as Round 1 continues and everything around here hopefully returns to normal. See you then!
*****
The Voting
The voters: Matt Smith, Albedo, LunarFormer, Darkstorm, Cyberfrost, Bladewing, Shrapnel, Snarl, Scizordramon, Leinad Socram, firewalkr21, kidu, Loser, aotrs.commander, MeRlin.
Match 5: Inferno (Autobot) vs. Waspinator
Inferno: Votes: 6
Waspinator: Votes: 9
Match 6: Devastator vs. Cheetor
Devastator: Votes: 10
Cheetor: Votes: 5
Match 7: Grimlock vs. Megatron (Predacon)
Grimlock: Votes: 5
Megatron: Votes: 10
Match 8: Goldbug vs. Bludgeon
Goldbug: Votes: 3
Bludgeon: Votes: 12
And now, this week's matches…
Match 9: Galvatron vs. Snarl
Match 10: Wheeljack vs. Depth Charge
Match 11: Megatron (Decepticon) vs. Inferno (Predacon)
Match 12: Rattrap vs. Fortress Maximus
Happy voting and see you next week!