Part VI

Nick stood by the Caddy, seething, as he watched Natalie kneel beside Dr. Landry, who was examining the body lying on the ground. "What is *she* doing here?" he asked his partner.

Tracy shrugged. "She and Hastings traded off for the day. Is this going to be a problem, Nick?" She remembered all too well how difficult it had been to work with Nick before Nat had gone over to the day shift.

"No. No problem at all," her partner replied. Somehow, Tracy didn't quite trust his words. With bated breath, she watched him walk across the parking lot to join the two coroners, then heaved a sigh of relief when he didn't start an argument with Nat. It was a good sign.

"What have we got here, Doc?" Nick asked, not looking at Natalie.

Ellen glanced between the two of them nervously. After working with Nick for several weeks, she had come to know him... a little. Nick was a quiet, odd man. He brooded constantly, but occasionally he came into her office with a smile on his face. He was always friendly to her, and it made her nervous to see how cold he was towards Natalie. To the woman he claimed to love, she reminded herself.

"It looks like the same M.O. as the last one, Nick, but I'll have to wait until we get her home and on the table," she told him. "Wanna get her out of here, boys?" she called to the paramedics who waited a few feet away. "Natalie's going to be helping me with this one tonight," she commented to Nick.

"Oh. That's nice." Nick's response was deadpan.

"Are you going to stop by and visit me later, Nick?" Ellen asked, feeling like she was grasping at straws. Didn't he see that here was his chance to talk to Natalie, as he'd said he wanted to do? If he would only bend a little, perhaps they could resolve their differences.

"Maybe... if I have time. There's a lot of paperwork to be done."

"Have Tracy do it!" Ellen laughed. "It's not as if she does anything anyway."

"Uh... I don't know about that, you two," said Nat, jumping into the conversation as they walked away from the crime scene. "Tracy probably still gets mad when Nick dumps the work on her."

"Yeah, she does," Nick addressed Natalie for the first time. He also looked at her, meeting her eyes. Much to the surprise of both women, Nick smiled... his biggest little-boy smile.

*****

Nat looked up from the report Ellen had given her to read. "So... do you think Nick will show up?" she asked, causing the other woman to fix a look of interested concern on her.

"I hope so, Nat. I really do."

"Me, too. I'd like to talk to him," admitted Nat.

"Really?" According to Nick's latest version of their relationship, Nat didn't want anything to do with him. Granted, Ellen *had* seen Nick's mood swing rather erratically from moment to moment, but he always seemed pretty intense when it came to Natalie Lambert.

"Well... I feel like I owe him an explanation at least," Nat began. "I don't know if you knew this, Ellen, but Nick and I were pretty close once." She was surprised when Ellen nodded knowingly. "Oh! You do know. No matter, I guess. Our relationship was never much of a relationship, actually. Until my ill-fated trip to Montreal, that is. When Nick brought me back, he started romancing me like there was no tomorrow."

"What's so wrong with that?" asked Ellen. "Nick's a kind, handsome man."

"He is... but sometimes he just doesn't see anything other than what he wants to see."

"How so?"

"When I came back from Montreal, I hadn't yet fully regained my memory. I was lost and confused most of the time. Nick's new, full time attentions were smothering me when what I really needed was space. I felt crowded every time we were together. It was horrible because I loved him so much, but I felt like I couldn't connect with him anymore... that I couldn't share with him what had happened to me."

"I see. Natalie, I must be honest with you. My first night here, Nick told me and Tracy that he'd asked you to marry him and you turned him down. He was really shaken when he found out you'd suddenly transferred to days. He took it hard," said Ellen.

"I had a feeling he would, but I had to think about myself. I had reasons for not accepting his proposal. I told Nick the truth--I needed time. Unfortunately, Nick has a jealous streak in him." Nat sighed. "I just couldn't handle it anymore-- his mood swings, the jealousy. At the end of each night, I was so frazzled I couldn't sleep." She paused, sighing again in sadness. "I still care about Nick, and that's why I need to talk to him. He deserves an explanation for why I did what I did."

Ellen hadn't actually expected Natalie to tell her so much. Years ago, before she'd switched over to the night shift, Nat had been her friend. They'd lost track of each other since then. "Nat... Nick says you have a new man in you life. Are you in love with him?"

The question caused Nat to pale. She'd wanted to tell Nick about LaCroix in her own way, but now it seemed that he already knew. "Yes, I do. Nick's jealous, isn't he?"

"He says he doesn't care, but I think he does. He has been awfully moody, Nat. When you do speak to him, go gently."

*****

Nick was standing in the doorway when Nat looked up from examining the body. She wondered how long he'd been there. If things had been different, she would have joked with him about sneaking up on her. "Oh hi, Nick," she said, smiling slightly at him.

"Did Ellen finish that report for me? Reese wants an update on the case." There was no preamble, no "Hi, how are you?" He cut straight to business. Nat had hoped the smile he'd given her earlier had been a sign of good will.

"I'm sorry, Nick, but Ellen just went on her dinner break. She knew you or Tracy would be in after that report, so she took it with her to finish. Shall I have her run it over to the precinct when she gets back?" Nat ventured another smile... which Nick ignored.

"Sure, why not? It'll save me the trouble of coming back here," he answered her as he turned to leave.

"Nick! Wait! Please don't go yet," Nat called after him. Nick turned around, returning to the doorway and leaning against it in a casual fashion. He didn't say anything and seemed to be waiting for her to continue. So, she did. "Nick, I... I've been wanting to talk to you. Please... come inside and close the door so we can have some privacy."

Nick did as she said, closing the door behind him and returned to leaning against it in an almost insolent manner. "What do you want to talk about?" he asked her in an equally insolent tone. "I thought we said all there was to say the last time we had a deep and meaningful chat."

"Nick, please..." Nat begged. "You're only making this harder than it has to be."

"Harder than it has to be!" Nick snapped, his voice going up an octave. "You have no idea how hard this is! Just the thought of you with *him*... It makes me so angry, Natalie-- angrier than I can possibly ever describe!"

"Well... that's part of what I want to discuss. We really need to talk things out, Nick. Maybe I could stop by the loft today... Oh, say around noon?" Nat suggested, realizing that if she pushed the issue now, Nick was likely to make a scene just as he had done in Joe Reese's office several weeks ago.

"No, I don't think so," he said in a cold tone that surprised her. "I don't want you in my home. If you have something to say, then you can say it now."

"Nick, if I'm to continue to act as your physician, then I have to have access to you!"

"Maybe I don't want you to be my doctor anymore. Did you even stop to think about that?" Nick countered.

"What about the cure? Don't you want to be mortal?"

"No. Since I lost you, I have no reason to live as a mortal."

"Nick!" Nat was shocked.

"No, Nat!" Nick's voice broke into a sob. "You had no idea... but since I met you, you have been my reason for being. LaCroix knew that. He knew that I loved you, and knew that losing you would break me. It has! I have nothing left!"

"Nick, what are you--?"

"Don't you see what he's done, Nat? He's taken you away from me on purpose!"

"LaCroix didn't take me away from you! I went to him because I love him, Nick!" Nat exclaimed in an exasperated tone.

"You only think you love him, Nat, but you don't. Not really. He's confused your thinking. When you were lost in Montreal, he did something to your mind-- made you *think* you were in love with him. Don't you see that?"

"That's not what happened, Nick." Nat sighed. "Do you want to know what happened to me in Montreal, Nick? Do you?"

"Yes! I would. It's time some one was honest with me!" Nick shot back.

Nat laughed a short, bitter laugh. "How could I be honest with you when I couldn't even be honest with myself?" Her words shut him up. "My flight to Montreal had been late, and they'd lost my luggage. All I had with me was my carry-on and the clothes on my back. Then my rental car broke a few blocks from the hotel. I decided to walk, rather than wait for a tow truck. I got down this deserted alley, and this guy mugs me. I screamed for help, but no one was there. The guy pushed me aside and my head hit the wall behind me. I don't really know how long I was unconscious, but when I woke up, I couldn't remember very much. I started wandering the streets, and a cop picked me up and took me to a homeless shelter."

"Your amnesia was the result of the mugger pushing you down, then?" Nicked asked quietly.

"Yes, Nick. The shelter was where I first discovered I didn't know who I was or where I belonged. The people there tried to help me remember. When I couldn't, they decided I needed a name. The mugger had my purse, so I had no form of I.D. to tell me who I was. They started throwing names out to me, and something started to stir inside my memory. Someone calling me Nat. I settled on "Natasha." It seemed like the right name."

"Natasha?" Nick echoed, tasting the name on his tongue. He shook his head. "Uh-uh,' he said, "I don't think it's very you."

"That's because she wasn't me, Nick," Nat explained. "She was... younger somehow. Naive, but not innocent. She was bubbly and carefree-- a free spirit. She was lot of things that weren't what I spent my life trying to be..." She trailed off, remembering the outfit Natasha had worn to try and impress LaCroix his first night in Montreal. How Janette had glared! It brought a slight smile to her face in remembrance. Then she continued with her story. She concluded by saying, "LaCroix gave her up to return me to you, Nick. How can you say that he acted out of evil intentions? All he wanted was your happiness."

Nick was silent, staring thoughtfully at her. "You really believe that, don't you?" he spoke at last. "You really believe that he is this generous, selfless person? How?"

"Because I've seen it, Nick! He isn't at all what you've said he is! He isn't a monster."

"Nat, you don't know him like I know him. He's only acting-- pretending to be a caring, benevolent person. He's evil, Nat. The only reason he's done this is get back at me," insisted Nick.

"Does *everything* revolve around you, Nick?" she asked, incredulous. Had he just not heard a word she said? "LaCroix hasn't *done* a thing. *I* went to him. *I* chose him. *I* love him. There is nothing to it that has anything to do with you. LaCroix didn't manipulate me into doing a thing that I didn't want to do anyway. He's done nothing except treat me with love and respect."

"You just don't see it, do you?" Nick nearly shouted, grabbing her by the arms. "He's using you to get to me! When he's finished with you, he won't just discard you... he'll kill you! Nat, you mean nothing to him! Nothing! But you mean everything to me. That's why he wants you to love him, so he can take away the one thing I love in this world. You say he treats you with respect now, but that will change. He'll start to demand things from you and try to possess you... just as he tried to possess me and Janette. If you cross him, Nat, you'll be dead. You'll see!"

"I don't believe that, Nick!" Nat shot at him, struggling to free herself from his grasp.

"No! Well, believe this: he's done it before! Ask him about Fleur!" In his excitement, Nick's hold on her tightened.

"Nick! Stop it! You're hurting me!" Nat cried out suddenly. She was crying.

The pain in her voice caused Nick to stop. His eyes dropped to the floor, and he stepped away from her. There was a long, uncomfortable silence during which neither look at the other or spoke. Slowly, Nick raised his head. He didn't look like the angry, jealous vampire of moments before. Instead, he looked like the old Nick-- the Nick she had loved at one time. "Nat... I..."

"Hey! There you are! I thought you would show up!" Ellen Landry's pleasant voice broke into what appeared to have been an apology. When she saw the averted looks and Nick's angsty expression, however, her smile faded. "I take it you two finally got to talk, huh?"

"Yeah, we did," mumbled Nat as she wiped at the tears that slipped down her cheeks.

"It couldn't have been all that bad, could it?" Ellen asked both of them.

"Yeah, it was," Nick replied. He reached out to touch Natalie in a apologetic manner. "Nat... I... I'm really sor--" he began, but got no further when she jerked away from him.

"Don't touch me!" she snapped at him.

"Maybe I should go," Nick suggested, turning to the door.

"Here," Ellen said, handing him the report she'd been working on. "You'd better take this, Nick."

"Yeah, thanks..." was his deadpan comment. He glanced worriedly back at Natalie before slipping out the door. "I *am* sorry, Nat. I didn't mean it." His voice pleaded with her, but she turned her back on him.