Author's note: This one's a really short chapter.. revolves around a conversation with Hermione and Draco. I figured out if two people have to be attracted to each other, physical attraction is just so superficial. So I was thinking of something that would link them together.
Hope you guys enjoy it. And thank you sooo much to all those who reviewed. You inspire me to write more… you guys are great!
CHAPTER 4:
Red.. everywhere.. why is the world painted red? No images.. its not even black.. red.. and then the recurring feeling of pain. Everywhere, every inch of his arm down to his leg and even on his face. It felt like it was burning, it hurt a lot. But he couldn't open his mouth to cry out for help.
When slowly the redness started to fade and everything came into full view, it was white ceiling.. basic white… no elaborate designs no intricacy. Unlike the wonderful rooms in the Malfoy manor, richly adorned by embellishment.. he stared up blankly, he couldn't move nevertheless so he just gazed up at the emptiness of whiteness. Funny how things change so drastically. Red to white. one day you're a part of one of the strongest wizard families.. the next.. no family at all. Yes.. that's the way to say it.. no family at all. Bitter, tasteless.. dry like his mouth that he couldn't even feel. He might as well not be there at all, and yet still exist. Shuddering physical pain.. his right arm hurt. The scar the mark, whatever it was he hid there. He didn't care, maybe not at the moment, maybe not at all. He couldn't fucking care about anything as well..
He stared.. he felt the pain subside just subsequently as his right arm ached more.. thanks for the favor master.. he thought, he knew.. the inner power, coursing through his veins. Heals all scars, pains. Oh maybe not all.. but he's not in pain. He couldn't be, for he's unfeeling to pain. He had obliterated it from his senses.. he slowly turned his head. A few feet away from him was another bed, and there lay a girl, who surprisingly stared into his eyes. Brown eyes bore into his. It seemed they stared for a long moment, minutes, hours.. details.. it didn't matter to him. His mind was blank, thoughtless, emoty, like that of his hands that he clenched into two tight fists..
"Do you still feel the stings Malfoy? You're back was broken.. but its completely healed now.." he heard her small voice say, it seemed faraway.. down from an empty hall and yet it sounded like little bells.
"Everything hurts Granger…" he whispered.. still staring at her small framed body, cladded with the hospital's white blanket. Funny.. a lot of funny things have been going on lately. Who would ever think ill end up with these person here in the wing? All night.. he thought as he moved his gaze away from her and through the opened window. Where the night sky was glowing with stars.
"Malfoy?"
"What Granger?"
"Sometimes its nice to hurt.. at least it reminds you that you're still alive.."
"Not if the hurt is deep enough to wound you.." Draco muttered
"Then why would you let it dive deep?"
"Coz letting it dive deep helps u become stronger… you wont understand it Granger.. something that only experience can bring to you.. don't ask me anymore… I hate to be questioned"
silence.. it seemed for awhile it went on, it could be deafening he observed, the shadows from the trees outside brought an eery yet peaceful ambiance to the partly lit room.
"Thanks.. Malfoy"
"For what? For what Granger?" He asked.. and she kept silent. He moved his head back to her direction, catching a glimpse of her as she in great effort sat up from the bed. He noticed the marks, a lot where around her neck, wrists.. she was wearing the hospital's thin plain night gown, a change from the usual drab Hogwarts uniform, the dark sky illuminated her light brown hair. Which was less bushy..
"For herbology..the spell"
Draco stared.. and just smiled. He just felt really tired. A voice inside of him screamed, you've got your chance. You're already in a room! With no interruptions together! Go rape her or something. But he wasn't in the mood for it.. not really. Not now.. he practically begged. Begging to who Draco? His brow crossed.
"Is there something wrong?" She asked
"Nothing.. Im just having an internal battle with myself.."
"what? I don't understand.."
"Little Bad Draco inside of me is urging me to grab you right now and take advantage of the moment.." He said weakly. He didn't know why he was saying all this, what the heck.. he didn't even know what he had been doing this past few days. So why tire yourself and make sense out of it? She just stared at him.. thoughtfully.. kindly. Silently.
Then she moved.. from her hospital bed.. standing. He caught a glimpse of her knees as she got up from her bed. Then stopping just on his side of the bed, knelt down beside him. He struggled to sit up from his seat with great effort, so that they were now almost face to face. Hermione on his side..
"Id like to ask you something.."
"Yeah.. and ill guess… 3 words.. library, kiss.."
"Malfoy that's just two…"
"oh yeah… two.." He replied foolishly
"Guess you're still wasted from all the spells Madame Pomfrey had to do on you earlier. You had a lot of damage you know. Fell round 8 feet from the air.." she explained
Draco set his mouth on a thin line. He wasn't in any mood to think right now. He didn't know what was wrong, his mind wasn't even in the right disposition to picture how high 8 feet was but all he wanted to do was just sit there, with her.. in silence.
"but that's not what im going to ask…"
"Then what?"
"What're you thinking about Malfoy? It seems like you're not yourself tonight.."
"Neither are you Granger… Well how bout just for tonight. Forget that im Malfoy and you're granger ok?" He suggested.
"I don't even know who the real Malfoy is…"
"Me neither…" He muttered quietly. "If you're gonna force me to apologize I wont, I don't regret the things I have done.. I never do.."
"You don't hear me asking for it do you? it doesn't matter, it was just a kiss. Not that it was something of a big deal to me…" Hermione said.
He remained silent, he was to weak to speak. All he wanted was to be lost.. lost in time, in the moment or whatever. Just to drift away.. to the stupid stars outside, all they did is glimmer in the night and watch people make a totally misery out of everything. His head banged with pain and he grimaced because of the sensation, it was throbbing. He closed his eyes, and he felt fingertips brush across his forehead. He slowly opened them..
"Just some hair.. fell across your forehead.. I brushed them away.."
"whatever…" He muttered, he rested his head against the headboard. Eyes closed.
"Malfoy…You never speak about your parents death.."
"Why does it interest you anyway hermione? My father killed himself.. so did my mom. And maybe one day ill kill myself too.. tough deal.. Why should I speak about it like im some poor helpless victim like potter?"
"He never speaks about it…" She said
"whatever.. neither do i. And still the whole world knows.. bullshit.." he said in disgust.
"stop hittin on me granger…" he added, trying to force his trademark smirk into his dry lips but the action itself seemed a whole lot painful for him. He just ended up giving a half smile half pout.
"I must look like hell.." he murmured humorly
"I have a feeling you're just trying to stir the conversation away.."
"What do you want me to say hermione?" he asked looking away, he felt blood rushing to his face. So what if he just doesn't wanna relieve about everything? Both his parents were dead. That was enough for him to sustain. The fact is he can survive on his own. It wouldn't really get him anywhere if he acted like some useless junk.. he rubbed his temples, to surpress the pain. Or maybe just get his mind off the topic
"Look at me Malfoy.."
"Yeah and ill turn and see u sticking your tongue at me.." but he looked anyway. And just saw her, her eyes. Deep and brown gazed innocently at him. If he didn't know any better he would have sensed affection by the way she looked at him.. then she smiled. He cant even remember the time when she ever smiled for him, without malice and hate. Just a smile.. for nothing. Nothing at all.. then he smiled back. A weak one… it had been a whole long time when he just smiled for no reason at all. The kind of smile u have when u remember a long forgotten happy memory, the smiles that little boys have when they lose their first tooth, sad but all at the same happy.
"We've got a lot of unspoken words Granger.. if anyone would see us they'd think we'd gone insane…"
"I think you'd know better than to care about what other people think of you.."
"well look who's talking…"
"oh well.."
"Break away from it granger.. detach yourself from other people's expectations or you're just gonna waste away your life like hell.."
"Its not that easy.. its like asking u to break away from pain and hate.."
I don't hate, he wanted to say, but he knew better than to betray himself and her. After all he wasn't in the mood at all. Like he said he felt another argument would be so stressing he'd just kill himself from wasting all the energy.
"Guess we both want to break away from a lot of things.." she said quietly
Draco just smiled.. he wanted to bang his head on the wall just this moment, whack it open so that it wont hurt anymore. Granger's really giving him a bad vibe. Then he felt hands.. moving at his back. He turned to see Hermione sitting behind him, then she placed both her fingertips on the side of his head massaging them. He was too weak for anything.
"And as you said Malfoy.. maybe just for tonight..I wont be bushy haired granger.."
"And I wont be the guy you hate in the whole world.."
Hope you guys enjoy it. And thank you sooo much to all those who reviewed. You inspire me to write more… you guys are great!
CHAPTER 4:
Red.. everywhere.. why is the world painted red? No images.. its not even black.. red.. and then the recurring feeling of pain. Everywhere, every inch of his arm down to his leg and even on his face. It felt like it was burning, it hurt a lot. But he couldn't open his mouth to cry out for help.
When slowly the redness started to fade and everything came into full view, it was white ceiling.. basic white… no elaborate designs no intricacy. Unlike the wonderful rooms in the Malfoy manor, richly adorned by embellishment.. he stared up blankly, he couldn't move nevertheless so he just gazed up at the emptiness of whiteness. Funny how things change so drastically. Red to white. one day you're a part of one of the strongest wizard families.. the next.. no family at all. Yes.. that's the way to say it.. no family at all. Bitter, tasteless.. dry like his mouth that he couldn't even feel. He might as well not be there at all, and yet still exist. Shuddering physical pain.. his right arm hurt. The scar the mark, whatever it was he hid there. He didn't care, maybe not at the moment, maybe not at all. He couldn't fucking care about anything as well..
He stared.. he felt the pain subside just subsequently as his right arm ached more.. thanks for the favor master.. he thought, he knew.. the inner power, coursing through his veins. Heals all scars, pains. Oh maybe not all.. but he's not in pain. He couldn't be, for he's unfeeling to pain. He had obliterated it from his senses.. he slowly turned his head. A few feet away from him was another bed, and there lay a girl, who surprisingly stared into his eyes. Brown eyes bore into his. It seemed they stared for a long moment, minutes, hours.. details.. it didn't matter to him. His mind was blank, thoughtless, emoty, like that of his hands that he clenched into two tight fists..
"Do you still feel the stings Malfoy? You're back was broken.. but its completely healed now.." he heard her small voice say, it seemed faraway.. down from an empty hall and yet it sounded like little bells.
"Everything hurts Granger…" he whispered.. still staring at her small framed body, cladded with the hospital's white blanket. Funny.. a lot of funny things have been going on lately. Who would ever think ill end up with these person here in the wing? All night.. he thought as he moved his gaze away from her and through the opened window. Where the night sky was glowing with stars.
"Malfoy?"
"What Granger?"
"Sometimes its nice to hurt.. at least it reminds you that you're still alive.."
"Not if the hurt is deep enough to wound you.." Draco muttered
"Then why would you let it dive deep?"
"Coz letting it dive deep helps u become stronger… you wont understand it Granger.. something that only experience can bring to you.. don't ask me anymore… I hate to be questioned"
silence.. it seemed for awhile it went on, it could be deafening he observed, the shadows from the trees outside brought an eery yet peaceful ambiance to the partly lit room.
"Thanks.. Malfoy"
"For what? For what Granger?" He asked.. and she kept silent. He moved his head back to her direction, catching a glimpse of her as she in great effort sat up from the bed. He noticed the marks, a lot where around her neck, wrists.. she was wearing the hospital's thin plain night gown, a change from the usual drab Hogwarts uniform, the dark sky illuminated her light brown hair. Which was less bushy..
"For herbology..the spell"
Draco stared.. and just smiled. He just felt really tired. A voice inside of him screamed, you've got your chance. You're already in a room! With no interruptions together! Go rape her or something. But he wasn't in the mood for it.. not really. Not now.. he practically begged. Begging to who Draco? His brow crossed.
"Is there something wrong?" She asked
"Nothing.. Im just having an internal battle with myself.."
"what? I don't understand.."
"Little Bad Draco inside of me is urging me to grab you right now and take advantage of the moment.." He said weakly. He didn't know why he was saying all this, what the heck.. he didn't even know what he had been doing this past few days. So why tire yourself and make sense out of it? She just stared at him.. thoughtfully.. kindly. Silently.
Then she moved.. from her hospital bed.. standing. He caught a glimpse of her knees as she got up from her bed. Then stopping just on his side of the bed, knelt down beside him. He struggled to sit up from his seat with great effort, so that they were now almost face to face. Hermione on his side..
"Id like to ask you something.."
"Yeah.. and ill guess… 3 words.. library, kiss.."
"Malfoy that's just two…"
"oh yeah… two.." He replied foolishly
"Guess you're still wasted from all the spells Madame Pomfrey had to do on you earlier. You had a lot of damage you know. Fell round 8 feet from the air.." she explained
Draco set his mouth on a thin line. He wasn't in any mood to think right now. He didn't know what was wrong, his mind wasn't even in the right disposition to picture how high 8 feet was but all he wanted to do was just sit there, with her.. in silence.
"but that's not what im going to ask…"
"Then what?"
"What're you thinking about Malfoy? It seems like you're not yourself tonight.."
"Neither are you Granger… Well how bout just for tonight. Forget that im Malfoy and you're granger ok?" He suggested.
"I don't even know who the real Malfoy is…"
"Me neither…" He muttered quietly. "If you're gonna force me to apologize I wont, I don't regret the things I have done.. I never do.."
"You don't hear me asking for it do you? it doesn't matter, it was just a kiss. Not that it was something of a big deal to me…" Hermione said.
He remained silent, he was to weak to speak. All he wanted was to be lost.. lost in time, in the moment or whatever. Just to drift away.. to the stupid stars outside, all they did is glimmer in the night and watch people make a totally misery out of everything. His head banged with pain and he grimaced because of the sensation, it was throbbing. He closed his eyes, and he felt fingertips brush across his forehead. He slowly opened them..
"Just some hair.. fell across your forehead.. I brushed them away.."
"whatever…" He muttered, he rested his head against the headboard. Eyes closed.
"Malfoy…You never speak about your parents death.."
"Why does it interest you anyway hermione? My father killed himself.. so did my mom. And maybe one day ill kill myself too.. tough deal.. Why should I speak about it like im some poor helpless victim like potter?"
"He never speaks about it…" She said
"whatever.. neither do i. And still the whole world knows.. bullshit.." he said in disgust.
"stop hittin on me granger…" he added, trying to force his trademark smirk into his dry lips but the action itself seemed a whole lot painful for him. He just ended up giving a half smile half pout.
"I must look like hell.." he murmured humorly
"I have a feeling you're just trying to stir the conversation away.."
"What do you want me to say hermione?" he asked looking away, he felt blood rushing to his face. So what if he just doesn't wanna relieve about everything? Both his parents were dead. That was enough for him to sustain. The fact is he can survive on his own. It wouldn't really get him anywhere if he acted like some useless junk.. he rubbed his temples, to surpress the pain. Or maybe just get his mind off the topic
"Look at me Malfoy.."
"Yeah and ill turn and see u sticking your tongue at me.." but he looked anyway. And just saw her, her eyes. Deep and brown gazed innocently at him. If he didn't know any better he would have sensed affection by the way she looked at him.. then she smiled. He cant even remember the time when she ever smiled for him, without malice and hate. Just a smile.. for nothing. Nothing at all.. then he smiled back. A weak one… it had been a whole long time when he just smiled for no reason at all. The kind of smile u have when u remember a long forgotten happy memory, the smiles that little boys have when they lose their first tooth, sad but all at the same happy.
"We've got a lot of unspoken words Granger.. if anyone would see us they'd think we'd gone insane…"
"I think you'd know better than to care about what other people think of you.."
"well look who's talking…"
"oh well.."
"Break away from it granger.. detach yourself from other people's expectations or you're just gonna waste away your life like hell.."
"Its not that easy.. its like asking u to break away from pain and hate.."
I don't hate, he wanted to say, but he knew better than to betray himself and her. After all he wasn't in the mood at all. Like he said he felt another argument would be so stressing he'd just kill himself from wasting all the energy.
"Guess we both want to break away from a lot of things.." she said quietly
Draco just smiled.. he wanted to bang his head on the wall just this moment, whack it open so that it wont hurt anymore. Granger's really giving him a bad vibe. Then he felt hands.. moving at his back. He turned to see Hermione sitting behind him, then she placed both her fingertips on the side of his head massaging them. He was too weak for anything.
"And as you said Malfoy.. maybe just for tonight..I wont be bushy haired granger.."
"And I wont be the guy you hate in the whole world.."