1 Part 18 –
When Cordelia opened her eyes, she could hear familiar voices in the next room.
Slowly she sat up, and found she was on a bed, remembering what happened, she reasoned that she was in Giles' bedroom.
She blinked, and for some reason, the room she was in reminded her of a bedroom she once had, it had been spacey like this one, and.. wait, weapons on the wall? She frowned at the memory, thinking she must've hit her head when she fell.
She swung her feet round off the bed and pulled herself to stand.
She still had a terrible headache, but, boy, did she feel... well, she didn't know what it was.
She opened the door slowly, and could hear Spike's recognizable voice.
"I'm telling you the truth, and man, is it bloody weird!"
"You're gonna have to go over it one more time." Cordelia frowned. 'Was that Buffy's voice?'
"I can remember weird stuff. Like, a birthday! Yeah! - There's ten candles on the cake, and it's pink! - Definitely *not* my cake, but I blow it out and cut it! ... Oh, and oh, yuck, I can remember *kissing* Xander - and I *never* kissed Xander!"
"But Cordelia did." That was defiantly Angel. "Maybe because she healed you, you've created a bond, and somehow swapped memories."
Cordelia pushed the door open and came in, things coming out her mouth she just seemed to know. "I remember too. A cat, Trinket, a shorthaired black cat. And I remember a fairground ride.. a carousel, with these beautiful girls with slender necks riding on the..." She scrunched her face up. ".. eew! I *don't* want *that* memory!"
"Hey, you think I like knowing what kissing Harris is like!" Spike shot back. " - And Trinket was such a cute little thing - shame Angleus," he glared at the elder vampire, "didn't think so."
She ignored him, as did everyone else in the room.
"Cordelia, feeling better?" Giles butted in.
"A little, thanks, Giles."
Willow smiled over at her. "Hey, Cordy. Some pretty scary stuff you've been hearing about recently, huh?"
"Ugh! Daughter of a god? Being what Angel reckons as the Salient One? *Don't* remind me."
"Hi, Cordelia."
"Hey, Buffy. How's it hanging?"
"Not well. I put Xander in hospital fighting like hell to stay alive."
"Don't worry. I'm gonna fix that. If there's anyone I'd rather heal," she smiled weakly, "it's that jack-ass." She suddenly winced and a hand went to her head.
Angel quickly made his way over to her. His cool hand on her arm made her jump. "What happened before, Cora?"
"I don't know, I just, I just felt dizzy, and my head hurt... still does. Y'know, that healing thing takes a lot out of you."
"We've found a spell," Willow began, "we, Tara and I, would be able to put Buffy's strength into you, meaning you'll be strong enough to heal Xander. Then, when you're all strong again, we'll reverse it."
"We just need to wait until Tara, Willow's girlfriend, gets here to complete it." Giles added.
"Listen, Cordelia, if you -" Angel began.
"No, Angel." Buffy interrupted, she came up to them and stood in between the vampire and the brunette. "We decided. We can't put this on hold because of your fears for what might happen to Cordelia - we decided, remember? Cordelia won't get hurt the slightest for doing this - she'll have *my* strength!"
"But can't you see!" Angel cried out. "We can't even risk it that way! Cordelia practically lost all her strength on a measly little cut - on a vampire that heals quickly anyway! We're just estimating here that your strength will be enough to heal a person in the state Xander's in. - But what if it's not enough, Buffy? Cordelia can heal because she's supposed to be the Blessed Salient One, - a half mortal, half *goddess*. Think about this; a god would have your strength times a million! What if Cordelia needs to have acquired *all* of her powers and strength to heal properly?! Come on! You know that makes sense!"
"Xander's life is in danger, Angel, we could lose him -" Willow started, coming up behind the slayer.
"And you want to risk losing Cora, too? ... Well maybe she never was a proper friend in any of your eyes, but, she is in mine right now, and as long as I have doubts, this is something I refuse to let her do. She's my family, I can't lose her."
The others where a little shocked to see how much the vampire now cared for the ex-may Queen, they hadn't realized how much had happened between them since they met up with Doyle in LA.
Angel's words meant a lot to Cordy, and silently, without even sharing a glance, she moved forward and clasped his hand.
The ex-librarian sighed, "Angel's right. I completely agree with him. Cordelia, I forbid you to go anywhere near Xander in case you feel like you have to -"
"- Forbid me, Giles?" Cordelia rolled her eyes. "You had no control of me when you were the librarian of the school I was going to, what the hell makes you think you can order me around now we have absolutely *no* connections?!"
"We have connections, we're friends.... Distant friends." Giles stated, but he sounded doubtful seeing the look she was giving him.
"Friends, Giles? Friends are close - how can you be close, but distant? Friends. - You know the definition of that word?" She asked with a cold glare.
"Well, I uh.."
"Tell it to me, Giles."
"A friend is a close companion, one who is warmly attached to another. And - "
Cordelia had that fiery look about her which Angel and Wesley knew very well.
"Two key words. Close. Companion. Y'know, if I hadn't hooked up with Angel in LA, none of you would know, wonder or even care where I was, and don't any of you object that, cuz you know it's the truth... There was one reason why I stayed with the group, and that was Xander, because he cared - at no matter what point our relationship was in, he still cared, even when he tried to hide it, I knew. And I stayed because no one *ever* cared before. Not my parents, not the Cordettes, not you guys... Xander, that big goof- ball did. And if you can't care for me, even *like* me a little, at least I can save the life of who you do care for and love, huh?"
Buffy spoke up quickly. "We care, Cordelia. It's just -"
" - You care for Xander more. I totally get that, Buffy. I care for him more than any of you guys too, no offence. But, that doesn't mean that if it was you in that bed, Buffy, I wouldn't want to take a stab at it. Because I would, and not just to save 'the slayer'... but, someone who... someone who I had hopes for friendship in the future, I guess. The same goes for all of you."
Of course, she wasn't talking to Angel, Wesley or even Spike at this point. They weren't her friends, but her family, she didn't even need to look at them or say a word for them to know she'd heal them in a second no matter what.
"I need to do this - I have to save him, and I don't even need to explain why cuz I know you all care about him as much as I do so the reasons are obvious."
"No, Cordy. Angel's right." Buffy suddenly stated. "We can't let you save Xander - with my strength or not. The risk of losing you is to big. Cordy, you've got to understand that you are someone special now - even more so than the Cordelia we care about, because you can chose to save Xander - and let yourself die in the process - BUT you're not a normal person anymore, Cordy, you owe people a chance at keeping their lives, which will be taken if you die and this evil god rises. You owe the world the right to keep spinning, and no one here is going to like me pointing this out - I hate saying this myself. But, it's Xander or the world here, Cordy. It's your call, but, think about what would Xander want you to do."
Cordelia was openly crying now. "Buffy - when Xander and I were going out, he *was* my world, I can't *not* save him."
"Then save him, and damn the rest of the world - with a healed Xander included." Willow quietly put in. "Xander would want you to do the right thing, Cordy, even if he can't live to see you do it."
"Xander's lying in a hospital bed, no cheeky Xander wit, no mischievous smile - I can get that back, these hands, they can bring him back! Xander really doesn't have a say in this!"
"Cordelia," Oz began quietly, "I know this is hard, and I'm as glad as hell I'm not in your position, but Buffy's right, listen to her - what she's saying makes sense - if you save Harris, and die yourself, the world is doomed, Xander too - so if you save him, he'll die eventually anyway, but if you don't you are letting him die with some dignity at least."
Tears poured down everyone's faces as they watched the cheerleader sob openly. "Xander always wanted to be the hero for a change, if I chose not to heal him, and get rid of this evil god, it'll be because of him... he'd like that. People say the best way to die is quietly in your sleep, but I think that the best way to go is being a hero, dying in battle for whatever cause... and hey, if Xander wants to go as a hero like Doyle, I'm gonna let him go with an applause."
Buffy took the sobbing ex-may queen into her arms as she began to cry too. "Good choice, Cordy. Xander might just pull through on his own to thank you for at least trying to make him a hero."
"God, I hope so." Cordelia choked out.
~*~
Go on to part NINETEEN
When Cordelia opened her eyes, she could hear familiar voices in the next room.
Slowly she sat up, and found she was on a bed, remembering what happened, she reasoned that she was in Giles' bedroom.
She blinked, and for some reason, the room she was in reminded her of a bedroom she once had, it had been spacey like this one, and.. wait, weapons on the wall? She frowned at the memory, thinking she must've hit her head when she fell.
She swung her feet round off the bed and pulled herself to stand.
She still had a terrible headache, but, boy, did she feel... well, she didn't know what it was.
She opened the door slowly, and could hear Spike's recognizable voice.
"I'm telling you the truth, and man, is it bloody weird!"
"You're gonna have to go over it one more time." Cordelia frowned. 'Was that Buffy's voice?'
"I can remember weird stuff. Like, a birthday! Yeah! - There's ten candles on the cake, and it's pink! - Definitely *not* my cake, but I blow it out and cut it! ... Oh, and oh, yuck, I can remember *kissing* Xander - and I *never* kissed Xander!"
"But Cordelia did." That was defiantly Angel. "Maybe because she healed you, you've created a bond, and somehow swapped memories."
Cordelia pushed the door open and came in, things coming out her mouth she just seemed to know. "I remember too. A cat, Trinket, a shorthaired black cat. And I remember a fairground ride.. a carousel, with these beautiful girls with slender necks riding on the..." She scrunched her face up. ".. eew! I *don't* want *that* memory!"
"Hey, you think I like knowing what kissing Harris is like!" Spike shot back. " - And Trinket was such a cute little thing - shame Angleus," he glared at the elder vampire, "didn't think so."
She ignored him, as did everyone else in the room.
"Cordelia, feeling better?" Giles butted in.
"A little, thanks, Giles."
Willow smiled over at her. "Hey, Cordy. Some pretty scary stuff you've been hearing about recently, huh?"
"Ugh! Daughter of a god? Being what Angel reckons as the Salient One? *Don't* remind me."
"Hi, Cordelia."
"Hey, Buffy. How's it hanging?"
"Not well. I put Xander in hospital fighting like hell to stay alive."
"Don't worry. I'm gonna fix that. If there's anyone I'd rather heal," she smiled weakly, "it's that jack-ass." She suddenly winced and a hand went to her head.
Angel quickly made his way over to her. His cool hand on her arm made her jump. "What happened before, Cora?"
"I don't know, I just, I just felt dizzy, and my head hurt... still does. Y'know, that healing thing takes a lot out of you."
"We've found a spell," Willow began, "we, Tara and I, would be able to put Buffy's strength into you, meaning you'll be strong enough to heal Xander. Then, when you're all strong again, we'll reverse it."
"We just need to wait until Tara, Willow's girlfriend, gets here to complete it." Giles added.
"Listen, Cordelia, if you -" Angel began.
"No, Angel." Buffy interrupted, she came up to them and stood in between the vampire and the brunette. "We decided. We can't put this on hold because of your fears for what might happen to Cordelia - we decided, remember? Cordelia won't get hurt the slightest for doing this - she'll have *my* strength!"
"But can't you see!" Angel cried out. "We can't even risk it that way! Cordelia practically lost all her strength on a measly little cut - on a vampire that heals quickly anyway! We're just estimating here that your strength will be enough to heal a person in the state Xander's in. - But what if it's not enough, Buffy? Cordelia can heal because she's supposed to be the Blessed Salient One, - a half mortal, half *goddess*. Think about this; a god would have your strength times a million! What if Cordelia needs to have acquired *all* of her powers and strength to heal properly?! Come on! You know that makes sense!"
"Xander's life is in danger, Angel, we could lose him -" Willow started, coming up behind the slayer.
"And you want to risk losing Cora, too? ... Well maybe she never was a proper friend in any of your eyes, but, she is in mine right now, and as long as I have doubts, this is something I refuse to let her do. She's my family, I can't lose her."
The others where a little shocked to see how much the vampire now cared for the ex-may Queen, they hadn't realized how much had happened between them since they met up with Doyle in LA.
Angel's words meant a lot to Cordy, and silently, without even sharing a glance, she moved forward and clasped his hand.
The ex-librarian sighed, "Angel's right. I completely agree with him. Cordelia, I forbid you to go anywhere near Xander in case you feel like you have to -"
"- Forbid me, Giles?" Cordelia rolled her eyes. "You had no control of me when you were the librarian of the school I was going to, what the hell makes you think you can order me around now we have absolutely *no* connections?!"
"We have connections, we're friends.... Distant friends." Giles stated, but he sounded doubtful seeing the look she was giving him.
"Friends, Giles? Friends are close - how can you be close, but distant? Friends. - You know the definition of that word?" She asked with a cold glare.
"Well, I uh.."
"Tell it to me, Giles."
"A friend is a close companion, one who is warmly attached to another. And - "
Cordelia had that fiery look about her which Angel and Wesley knew very well.
"Two key words. Close. Companion. Y'know, if I hadn't hooked up with Angel in LA, none of you would know, wonder or even care where I was, and don't any of you object that, cuz you know it's the truth... There was one reason why I stayed with the group, and that was Xander, because he cared - at no matter what point our relationship was in, he still cared, even when he tried to hide it, I knew. And I stayed because no one *ever* cared before. Not my parents, not the Cordettes, not you guys... Xander, that big goof- ball did. And if you can't care for me, even *like* me a little, at least I can save the life of who you do care for and love, huh?"
Buffy spoke up quickly. "We care, Cordelia. It's just -"
" - You care for Xander more. I totally get that, Buffy. I care for him more than any of you guys too, no offence. But, that doesn't mean that if it was you in that bed, Buffy, I wouldn't want to take a stab at it. Because I would, and not just to save 'the slayer'... but, someone who... someone who I had hopes for friendship in the future, I guess. The same goes for all of you."
Of course, she wasn't talking to Angel, Wesley or even Spike at this point. They weren't her friends, but her family, she didn't even need to look at them or say a word for them to know she'd heal them in a second no matter what.
"I need to do this - I have to save him, and I don't even need to explain why cuz I know you all care about him as much as I do so the reasons are obvious."
"No, Cordy. Angel's right." Buffy suddenly stated. "We can't let you save Xander - with my strength or not. The risk of losing you is to big. Cordy, you've got to understand that you are someone special now - even more so than the Cordelia we care about, because you can chose to save Xander - and let yourself die in the process - BUT you're not a normal person anymore, Cordy, you owe people a chance at keeping their lives, which will be taken if you die and this evil god rises. You owe the world the right to keep spinning, and no one here is going to like me pointing this out - I hate saying this myself. But, it's Xander or the world here, Cordy. It's your call, but, think about what would Xander want you to do."
Cordelia was openly crying now. "Buffy - when Xander and I were going out, he *was* my world, I can't *not* save him."
"Then save him, and damn the rest of the world - with a healed Xander included." Willow quietly put in. "Xander would want you to do the right thing, Cordy, even if he can't live to see you do it."
"Xander's lying in a hospital bed, no cheeky Xander wit, no mischievous smile - I can get that back, these hands, they can bring him back! Xander really doesn't have a say in this!"
"Cordelia," Oz began quietly, "I know this is hard, and I'm as glad as hell I'm not in your position, but Buffy's right, listen to her - what she's saying makes sense - if you save Harris, and die yourself, the world is doomed, Xander too - so if you save him, he'll die eventually anyway, but if you don't you are letting him die with some dignity at least."
Tears poured down everyone's faces as they watched the cheerleader sob openly. "Xander always wanted to be the hero for a change, if I chose not to heal him, and get rid of this evil god, it'll be because of him... he'd like that. People say the best way to die is quietly in your sleep, but I think that the best way to go is being a hero, dying in battle for whatever cause... and hey, if Xander wants to go as a hero like Doyle, I'm gonna let him go with an applause."
Buffy took the sobbing ex-may queen into her arms as she began to cry too. "Good choice, Cordy. Xander might just pull through on his own to thank you for at least trying to make him a hero."
"God, I hope so." Cordelia choked out.
~*~
Go on to part NINETEEN