Disclaimer: Not mine
They say, "it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all". That's true, except the one I love I have never lost, because I've never really had him, Harry Potter. Yes, bookish, smug, plain, Hermione Granger is in love, that should be normal, I am a 16 year old girl after all. But the thing is it's not normal, because it's my best friend in the world that I love. But I don't consider it any different from normal, because I don't remember normal. In a world were I happen to be a witch, my best friend a wizard, were in my first year at a school that trains witches and wizards how to use their magical powers, I was attacked by a Mountain Troll, this has become my normal.
But there is something that happens to strike me as odd, even for my world. That Harry Potter, THE Harry Potter would happen to be one of the first people I meet on the train, would years later, prove to be my best friend. I suppose that I always had a crush on him, who couldn't? Since I first got my school books and read about him, I knew that we would never be friends, we were complete opposites. I waited and waited for the first day of school, hoping to just catch a glimpse of him, maybe even the chance to say hello. Never would I expect to be able to say more than just a few words to him, when I walked in on him and a red haired boy in one of the train compartments, I was shocked, so all I could do was say something out of a book, showing off to them that I already knew a bit of magic.
He has since been my best friend, saving me numerous times, not just my life, but my sanity and my feelings as well. Being as plain and as boring as I have always been, and always will be, he has stuck by my side, through tears and smiles, break-ups, and torments by other students. He has been there for all my break-ups, with the guys who thought I was worth dating. Ron, I went out with one of my best friends, that was one of my stupider decisions. We thought that it would work out perfectly, we were friends and knew each other so well. But the thing I didn't know was that Ron could be so controlling. He was always trying to kiss me, we would always get into fights. Harry would always be there, he was so naive, he never saw the internal struggling I went through when I kissed him, kissing him was like kissing my guy cousin, I felt nothing. I kept convincing myself that there was something, hopefully a bit of chemistry, an ounce of passion. But no, all it was an emotionless kiss. I wanted so badly to end it after a week, but I saw that Ron liked me, I was scared of what would happen if I broke up with him. Finally, I couldn't stand it any more, I broke up with him, and he agreed that he would break up with me also if I pretended I was the dumpee. I agreed, and I had to go through all the sympathetic talks, I pretended that I was heartbroken, Harry, finally saw the light that I didn't like Ron, he stopped being friends with Ron, for my sake, he gave up the friendship, the one that had lasted all these years. I kept telling him that it didn't have to be this way, that even if I didn't like him in any way anymore, he didn't have to lose the friendship. But, being the wonderful guy that he was, insisted.
Sometimes I imagine what life would be like with Harry, would we be happy together? Would we fight like I did with Ron, have a nasty break-up, leaving me all alone and friendless? Would he be the one I stayed with, grew old with, married and had kids with? Another thing that controls my thoughts is What's Harry like on dates? I've had to hear all the details about being on dates with him, from Ginny, Parvati and Lavender. Ginny talked about all the times they went into a closet or into a classroom and made out. While she would talk, I would imagine myself in the closet, him whose lips were on mine, him who was telling me who loved me. I was becoming trapped in my own mind, he was becoming my every obsession.
They say jealousy can drive you mad, I never understood how true that could be until I fell in love with him.
I want so badly to tell him that I love him. I could never bring myself to it though, he is always followed by girls, flocks of them, surrounding and swarming him, pretty girls, perfect bodies, beautiful hair, flawless skin. Then theres me, frizzy hair, boring eyes, bookish, pathetic, little old me. I could never compare to them, there just so.... beautiful. If only I could look more like them, then maybe Harry would take notice of me in a way that is more than just a friendly way. At least Harry really talks to me, if we didn't have our nightly conversations, I would go insane. He talks about everything, what he thinks about everyone, what he scared of, what troubles him, what his biggest fear is. It's amazing what his biggest fear is, it's not about Voldemort killing him, or possibly not living to be twenty. It's the fact that he thinks that Voldemort would use me as a bait, to get to him, that he worries for my safety. I asked him why he would worry about something like that, he looked away, from my face, a distant look on his face, starring at the fire, saying that, "he had his reasons". I wanted to ask him more, but he seems so bothered at the question that I dropped it. Now, every time that I'm out of his sight, or he knows I'm going somewhere without him, he gives me a little speech, telling me to watch out were I'm going, that if anything seems wrong, to get out of there, back to him. It scares me when he talks like that.
My life with Harry is something that novels are made of. Plain, boring, unpopular girl falls for handsome, Famous, Harry Potter. In the books, the girl ends up with the guy, in my story, I'll just have to wait for the ending.
They say, "it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all". That's true, except the one I love I have never lost, because I've never really had him, Harry Potter. Yes, bookish, smug, plain, Hermione Granger is in love, that should be normal, I am a 16 year old girl after all. But the thing is it's not normal, because it's my best friend in the world that I love. But I don't consider it any different from normal, because I don't remember normal. In a world were I happen to be a witch, my best friend a wizard, were in my first year at a school that trains witches and wizards how to use their magical powers, I was attacked by a Mountain Troll, this has become my normal.
But there is something that happens to strike me as odd, even for my world. That Harry Potter, THE Harry Potter would happen to be one of the first people I meet on the train, would years later, prove to be my best friend. I suppose that I always had a crush on him, who couldn't? Since I first got my school books and read about him, I knew that we would never be friends, we were complete opposites. I waited and waited for the first day of school, hoping to just catch a glimpse of him, maybe even the chance to say hello. Never would I expect to be able to say more than just a few words to him, when I walked in on him and a red haired boy in one of the train compartments, I was shocked, so all I could do was say something out of a book, showing off to them that I already knew a bit of magic.
He has since been my best friend, saving me numerous times, not just my life, but my sanity and my feelings as well. Being as plain and as boring as I have always been, and always will be, he has stuck by my side, through tears and smiles, break-ups, and torments by other students. He has been there for all my break-ups, with the guys who thought I was worth dating. Ron, I went out with one of my best friends, that was one of my stupider decisions. We thought that it would work out perfectly, we were friends and knew each other so well. But the thing I didn't know was that Ron could be so controlling. He was always trying to kiss me, we would always get into fights. Harry would always be there, he was so naive, he never saw the internal struggling I went through when I kissed him, kissing him was like kissing my guy cousin, I felt nothing. I kept convincing myself that there was something, hopefully a bit of chemistry, an ounce of passion. But no, all it was an emotionless kiss. I wanted so badly to end it after a week, but I saw that Ron liked me, I was scared of what would happen if I broke up with him. Finally, I couldn't stand it any more, I broke up with him, and he agreed that he would break up with me also if I pretended I was the dumpee. I agreed, and I had to go through all the sympathetic talks, I pretended that I was heartbroken, Harry, finally saw the light that I didn't like Ron, he stopped being friends with Ron, for my sake, he gave up the friendship, the one that had lasted all these years. I kept telling him that it didn't have to be this way, that even if I didn't like him in any way anymore, he didn't have to lose the friendship. But, being the wonderful guy that he was, insisted.
Sometimes I imagine what life would be like with Harry, would we be happy together? Would we fight like I did with Ron, have a nasty break-up, leaving me all alone and friendless? Would he be the one I stayed with, grew old with, married and had kids with? Another thing that controls my thoughts is What's Harry like on dates? I've had to hear all the details about being on dates with him, from Ginny, Parvati and Lavender. Ginny talked about all the times they went into a closet or into a classroom and made out. While she would talk, I would imagine myself in the closet, him whose lips were on mine, him who was telling me who loved me. I was becoming trapped in my own mind, he was becoming my every obsession.
They say jealousy can drive you mad, I never understood how true that could be until I fell in love with him.
I want so badly to tell him that I love him. I could never bring myself to it though, he is always followed by girls, flocks of them, surrounding and swarming him, pretty girls, perfect bodies, beautiful hair, flawless skin. Then theres me, frizzy hair, boring eyes, bookish, pathetic, little old me. I could never compare to them, there just so.... beautiful. If only I could look more like them, then maybe Harry would take notice of me in a way that is more than just a friendly way. At least Harry really talks to me, if we didn't have our nightly conversations, I would go insane. He talks about everything, what he thinks about everyone, what he scared of, what troubles him, what his biggest fear is. It's amazing what his biggest fear is, it's not about Voldemort killing him, or possibly not living to be twenty. It's the fact that he thinks that Voldemort would use me as a bait, to get to him, that he worries for my safety. I asked him why he would worry about something like that, he looked away, from my face, a distant look on his face, starring at the fire, saying that, "he had his reasons". I wanted to ask him more, but he seems so bothered at the question that I dropped it. Now, every time that I'm out of his sight, or he knows I'm going somewhere without him, he gives me a little speech, telling me to watch out were I'm going, that if anything seems wrong, to get out of there, back to him. It scares me when he talks like that.
My life with Harry is something that novels are made of. Plain, boring, unpopular girl falls for handsome, Famous, Harry Potter. In the books, the girl ends up with the guy, in my story, I'll just have to wait for the ending.